Tag Archives: spiritual

by

Let it All Out

It has been a very difficult past few days. It was so difficult for me that I decided yesterday never to write in my blog again. I just couldn’t, for so many reasons. Then this morning I awoke feeling a bit better, though not completely.

My main reason for not writing is because I feel I cannot share some things on here that are crucial components to what is going on with me. They are deeply personal and not just mine. To share them would be a like a type of betrayal, but even this is hard to for me  to understand and I struggle with understanding it myself. I feel it is not beneficial to me or anyone else to share these parts of my journey because I do not understand them and I am not sure I will ever fully understand them. Yet it is so much a part of what is happening to me now that I feel unable to proceed without including it. It is a puzzle piece that, if left out, would make my story incomplete and meaningless.

Yet even as I write this I cannot, will not share it with you all. I am sorry. I just can’t. This is why I am reluctant to write in my blog now, for what do I write now if I cannot write about all of mySelf and my experiences? Anything I write would be totally lacking and incomplete.

The whole purpose of this blog is to help others on the same journey; to assist them by sharing with them my own journey so they know they are not alone and maybe get some comfort from that. Yet, at this point, I feel unable to share fully my own journey. There is just so much tied up in it that I can’t make sense of and I worry about the potential far-reaching effects.

What I Will Share

I will share with you what I have been going through the last few days, but because of the personal nature and backstory that I don’t feel can be shared, it may leave you with many questions. I know it leaves me with questions and I know the whole story!

On the morning of the 21st I lost my heart connection. Actually, I felt to have lost all connection. There came with this loss a feeling of dread, like something was there that I didn’t want to look at or confront but had to. I avoided it but it threw me into disarray for the rest of the day.

That evening I blew up on my husband for no reason. It shocked him enough to keep the kids away and let me be. I retreated to a hot bath and cried and cried and cried. It was like my entire soul was just pouring out through my eyes. Afterward I was so completely exhausted that I went to bed at 8pm.

I had dreams of going through levels of rainbows of color. There were five levels and each one poured over me. I don’t recall much else but I feel I received intense healing and adjustment. When I woke at 3am I was beside myself with grief again. I must have relaxed at some point because I was awakened by a huge amount of energy moving up from my legs and enveloping me in a warm energy hug that made me want to fall asleep. I heard, “We are with you” right before I fell back to sleep.

I ended up having an in-depth OBE for the next two to three hours. At the end of the OBE I forgot who I was and it sent me into a panic trying to figure it out. This is what ultimately woke me.

When I awoke I still felt horrible. The main feeling I could contact was that I had gotten a chance to experience Home and it had been pulled out from under me. Why would I get such a wonderful experience only to have it taken from me? Why would I do that to myself? What was I thinking!?

I spent the entire day on and off crying. The next day was the same except that I was outside in the sun every chance I could get. I would go from a calm, quiet to an overflowing of emotion and then back again. It was exhausting and not normal for me. I have never felt such intense grief in my life.

At one point while laying in the sun, my guide said to me:

“I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain….”

I knew the rest of it for it was a song I had written in 2002 called Beauty in the Dark. I finished the verse of the song in my head and burst out crying again.

I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain.

I want to see you smile, I want to hold your hand.

And although this place is colder and darker than where we’ve been,

I’ll take you somewhere warmer, be your light in the dark.

This morning I am better but just writing this makes me want to cry all over again. I am emotionally raw. Every emotion is so much more intense than I remember it to be and I cannot seem to contain the emotion. It just pours out of me. And I am missing my connection so very badly. I hear my guides and Team, I sense them and I still get their energy hugs but I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. I feel like I just got here and the place I came from is so very close yet so far away at the same time.

Time to Live

This morning I knew that it was time to sort things out in my life. I don’t want to. I dread it but at the same time I could not stop myself from thinking of the things that need to be done. That is what my focus is on right now, though I am not happy about it.

I woke with this song in my head:

by

Making Connections

I felt the urge to review my other blog yesterday in between the powerful bliss episodes I experienced.

I have mentioned in other posts that I am a gridworker.  The region of the U.S. where I do most of my work is in the southeast, specifically Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, and sometimes Mississippi and South Carolina. Well, in my review of 2014 I discovered I have been traveling to this area for some time. I specifically mention traveling to Tennessee.

Below are a couple of intense experiences that I wrote about in 2014 along with a supporting sychronistic event. There are numerous others you can read if you like but these are the ones that seemed most relevant to me, probably because they involve a similar energy to what I was experiencing at the time.

Airport Reunion – July 15, 2014

In this dream I was with some friends, though I can’t remember them now. There was a distinct feeling that I was considering doing something “wrong”. The feeling hung around and seemed to grow through the dream. I felt horribly guilty.

As the dream progressed it became obvious what I was feeling guilty about. I had been ignoring the advances of a man for some time but I had felt a huge attraction for him and eventually I gave in. Then we were a “couple” though it was not sexual. I remember also that someone said “He pursued you” and that we were going on trip to Tennessee. However, I had lied to my husband and did not tell him that I planned to continue on from Tennessee to another, more northerly state after we got to Tennessee. Nor did I tell him about the man I would secretly go away with.

When we arrived at the airport, I sat and waited with this man. I felt at peace with him and I experienced such a strong love feeling in my heart that it extended down through to my root chakra. I did experience the sexual energy of the root chakra but it was different – it was elation mixed with a spiritual passion that is hard to describe. Had I been lucid in this dream it would have caused me to cry with joy. All I wanted to do was snuggle into this man’s arms. It was the same feeling I described having with one of my guides not long ago in a post. It was as if his energy calmed and soothed me and I felt like I was reunited with a piece of me that had been missing.

As we waited at the airport a large group of people came toward us – more people than I can count. I knew them all. They had come to welcome us. I immediately was aware that my husband was among them and I saw him come through the middle, smiling. I felt so much shame at what I had done that it was overwhelming but the man I was with soothed me and I felt the wonderful flood of peace/joy flood through me. He smiled and I asked him, “I get to go Home?” and he said, “Yes”.

That is when I woke up. The feelings lingered as I woke and I was horrified because I suspected that the dream was a premonition – that I would meet someone and leave my husband. And I knew, if the man I met made me feel like I felt in the dream that I would not be able to resist. The thought of that scared me and made me feel horribly unworthy and like a traitor without having done anything!

Kundalini Rising – July 26, 2014

In this particular dream I was with a man (same one as above) who was my partner/boyfriend. He was discussing with me a process he was going through and though he never spoke of it by name he allowed me to feel bits and pieces of this process in the dream. It felt very similar to how one feels when they are very attracted to another person but it had more of a high to it, like a drug. Since I was not able to fully experience it yet he told me that I would get to experience it soon.

The dream continued as I was waiting. We were at a party with other young people and there was a table with food on it. We were all partaking of the food and I remember talking with a woman who was my partner’s mother, though she looked too young. I wish I could remember what we were talking about but all I recall was thinking that I was about to take a very powerful drug.

I do not recall actually taking a drug but I saw others “on the drug” acting very happy and relaxed. Eventually, though, I did experience the feeling after watching these other young people experience it. I cannot describe it in words for there are no words that even come close to describing it accurately. I have experienced the feeling before but only once as I was coming out of a meditation years ago. It might be described by some as a sexual experience but if that were what it was then it is beyond any sexual experience I have experienced in this physical body. It does have some similarities to it. For example, there is a pulling sensation in the first and second chakra area that is very powerful and pleasant and it spreads out from that point to every part of the body and intensifies similar to the moment of orgasm. However, it does not stop but continues to escalate beyond any orgasmic experience, the feeling moving upward and downward at the same time along the center of the body (spine) while it also expands outward. It feels like a total body orgasm but the feeling is of such ecstasy that it could be described as similar to a very powerful drug. In this particular experience the feeling continued uninterrupted for what seemed like hours and I was completely absorbed by it, losing myself to it along side my partner.

July 31st Entry

On July 31, I wrote about a real-life experience I had on a flight to Florida. I knew I was about to meet a man named Michael and heard his name very clearly. Minutes later a man sat down in the seat next to me, turned around and introduced himself to me as “Michael”. We talked throughout the flight to Florida and he told me all about his life, his wife and family. He also mentioned he lived in Tennessee. I remember thinking that I had soul family in Tennessee and remembered the airport dream above in full.

 

 

 

 

by

Beautiful Bliss

Did you feel the energy last night?! It was off the charts! Or at least for me it was.

I first started noticing it around 8pm CST. I was settling my children into bed and soothing my youngest who demands I be right next to him until he falls asleep. So, as I lay there with him, sitting up and quite uncomfortable, my heart chakra just bursts wide open and wave upon wave of energy begins to pour through me and out of me. The energy expanded and then I felt my other chakras light up one by one. Root, sacral, solar, throat. The energy never rose above my throat.

This was pure bliss energy. My heart still felt almost painful at times but I didn’t care. Though my root and second chakras were pulsing with energy, I never felt sexual. It was just beautiful, wonderful, heavenly bliss. It made me want to cry tears of joy.

It lasted for over 20 minutes. Hehehehe

Another Wave

After that, it settled and I felt an urge to do yoga. As I was doing yoga, my crown and third-eye lit up with energy and I had what I like to call “raccoon eyes” from the intense energy around my nose and eyes that formed a mask of energy. I don’t know why I connect this mask to the raccoon specifically, but I just think of their little masked faces when I get it. lol

I also had sporadic intense shots of energy through my heart as I was doing yoga. This was most intense in savasana.

When I finished with yoga I felt like I had just had a strong cup of espresso. I was wired! Hatha yoga usually does the opposite for me. I do think it helped my physical body to relax and release areas of tension that may have been blocking the energy. Whatever the cause, I was flying high afterward.

From that point on the energy just kept hitting me in waves of pure bliss. These waves came in intensely and then would settle for a bit, giving me time to recover. I was able to read and function quite normally between them. Sometimes the shots of energy would hit my heart chakra in such a way as to be painful, but it never lasted long and I didn’t much care.

Interestingly, I could feel the energy doing its magic in certain chakras. At one point my sacral plexus felt like a massive ball of warm, tingling, swirly energy. It moved around in a circular pattern and reminded me of water.  My throat chakra was also lighting up in a strange way, moving around like it was alive. Very strange sensations!

After several hours of this intense energy a portion of my upper back, near my right shoulder blade, began to spasm. It was not painful but it was enough to keep me from relaxing and falling asleep. I finally gave up trying to relax at 12:30am and took a Benadryl. Thankfully it helped and I fell asleep about a half hour later.

I was told that my upper back pain was the result of a high heart block that was unable to clear. The pain was an indicator to slow down. My Team told me, “Slow down, your body can only take so much.” I had been requesting the energy to keep coming (who wouldn’t?). I was very enthusiastic about all of it. lol

 

by

Through the Porticus

When I awoke this morning at 5am I was wide awake but I did not want to be. Upset, I immediately pleaded with my Companion to allow me to return to sleep and astral project. I was told very sternly, “No”. 😦

As I lay there I felt disappointed because it seemed my instructions from the night were to go about my normal, day-to-day life. To expect no further noticeable adjustments for some time. It was time for rest.

I didn’t like hearing this and began to try and figure out what I would do with myself during this rest period. I was interrupted mid-thought with the message, “What does your heart tell you?” So I settled in there, knowing already what I would find – an intense urge to drop everything and leave. Finding exactly that, I yelled at my Companion, “Every time I go there I want to leave!  I don’t want to leave!”

Somehow I managed to return to sleep. I suspect I was lulled to sleep since the last thing I remember was being told to focus on my heart again.

Dream: Symbols Game

I found myself inside a large, warehouse-like place with various concrete walled rooms. I was with some people I know in real life who I never would have met had I not been married to my husband. I don’t much like most of them so you can imagine how the dream went. lol

Eventually, after following these people around for a while I got upset and told them I was going to go to the gym to workout. In fact, working out was all I could think about the whole time. They kept trying to keep me from doing that, though. Eventually, I turned to leave one last time and noticed there was a fresh wound on my left calf. I recalled instantly that the woman I was talking to had cut a design into my leg with a knife. I got upset with her for it but was confused as to why she had carved a strange symbol into my leg.

The next thing I recall was sitting at a table in my own living room. There were three women with me and one was holding a book and giving instructions on how to use it. She passed out small, cards about 2×2 inches square. Each card had a symbol on it. The game we were to play was about choosing an option to take with our significant other. She instructed us to choose between two, but all I recall now is hearing her mention they were called “do” cards which I interpreted as decision cards. The one that stood out to me looked like the Aum symbol. All of them resembled familiar symbols I have seen associated with yoga.

At that point I had had enough. I stood up and left. I refused to play their game.

aum

Through the Porticus

This is when it got weird.

I was transported instantly to somewhere else. I was there with a massively large Being. He was about twice my height (at least 9ft) and we were hovering together inside a very large spacecraft. To my left was a huge window that was about four times my height and domed. It came up and over the tops of our heads. To my right was all gray metal. I could not make out much because my entire attention was held by this tall Being I was with.

I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten there so was confused and had many questions. However, I could not ask them. It was like they were withheld from me; like I had a powerful energy or force stopping their formation. I was completely speechless/thoughtless.

My main emotion was nervousness. I felt like I had done something wrong and was being reprimanded. This was all I felt while I was in the presence of this Being. Yet he was not scary, just commanding. I had great respect and reverence for him, very much like a small child has for a parent.

Now for the Being. I have never seen anything like him. I saw his entire body from head to toe. He was wearing a very strange uniform, or maybe costume is a better word. It reminded me of a Genie suit – puffy arms and legs that tapered down around the hands and feet. The color was a bright blue and there was an accent color that I can’t remember now. What was very distinct was the huge collar that came up around the face of this Being. It was white and stood straight up and seemed almost to act as a shield to the face. In fact, I had trouble seeing the Being’s face because of it. But I did see it.

The face looked human but with shimmery skin, like he was reflective but that is not quite right. He was strangely foreign looking in a way that is difficult to describe. Elf-like is the closest I can come to a match. He had vividly blue eyes and white-blonde hair that was pulled up into a tight ponytail that was centered on the top of his head. His hair was longer than mine!

He was beautiful.

I was still nervous, though. He was reminding me of why I came here and to “stay focused”. I had been dilly-dallying, “not paying attention” and allowing Earth-activities to “distract me”.

He pointed out the large window, which he called a “porticus”. There was a planet below us that resembled Earth. It was massive and bright and so beautiful. I also saw millions of stars twinkling around us. There was no doubt we were in space.

He instructed me to go through the porticus, but I don’t remember hearing any words. It was like I just knew this is where I was to go. He came with me and we just went through what I thought was a solid window. He told me to allow the planet to pull me toward it. It was not gravity that he called it but something else, something akin to an energy field.

As we descended I saw these strange satellites that had what resembled cameras on the end. These cameras tracked us as we got closer. I saw at least three and they looked like something from a Sci-Fi film – robot-like, dark metal with large, dark, shiny “eyes” or lenses at the end of a long central arm. I remember asking about them and being told they would alert those on the ground to our approach. I assumed this meant they were some kind of early detection system. But were these around Earth??

I then heard a loud ringing sound and figured it was one of the devices sending the alert. I saw the one closest to use turn its eye toward the planet prior to hearing the sound. I have never heard anything like it. There is nothing to compare it to.

Then I was on the ground standing next to the Being but he was now just a little taller than me. Did I grow or did he shrink? He was also wearing different clothing – a white tunic with gold embroidered trim. He was almost all white and the tunic flowed down to his knees. And I Remembered him then! I saw him in an OBE!!

We descended a long stairway. My memory of this place screams to me that we were not on Earth. No way! Or else we were in another Earth, one not of this dimension and time. The sky was blue and it very much resembled Earth but where we were was fantastically grand. The steps we descended were white and spread for hundreds of yards on either side of us. The place we came out of, though it was behind me, was like a grand temple with massive columns reminiscent of Greece.

At the bottom of the stairs we stopped and he stood in front of me. A woman with dark hair just appeared to my right. She seemed to materialize. I have no idea where she came from but I knew who she was and we greeted one another telepathically. The Being who was with me could not communicate with her, though. It was like there was a block and I understood that she could not see him either.  So he asked me to relay messages between us. I didn’t understand this but did as I was asked. She was reporting back to me but I don’t remember what she said now, just that we were exchanging information from our separate journeys.

shipMessages

I woke with a start completely confused and demanding to know what I just experienced.

“That was not a dream! I was dreaming and then I wasn’t! And who….what the hell are you!??” (lol I laugh now because I was completely not expecting what had happened). My memory of the Being was muddled. I remember him looking very, very alien and distorted which confused me.

Then came the massively HUGE energy and I heard again, “Lord Commander Sananda”. I was not wanting to hear that, but he kept sending that and so what could I do but accept it?

Then I wanted to know what he was – was he human? Was he Andromedan? Pleiadian? I got no response other than him asking me, “How did you feel?” What?

So I settled into my heart and the memory of what had just happened and knew he was who he said he was and that I had just “checked-in” at his request because of my refusal to accept the memory of who I am and why I am here. Ha! You try and do this, you would be resistant, too!

I knew the Being I saw was Pleiadian in appearance. I also knew the planet we visited was not Earth. It was spectacular! Also, he was wearing a space suit of some kind. There was something over his face that was nearly imperceptible. Like a shield or helmet that was invisible.

Then he just kept talking to me.

“You cannot project. You must remain anchored.” To this I responded that I did not want to stay here. He explained, “This is the most difficult aspect of Remembering. The more you Remember, the less you want to stay. But you must remain.” No kidding!

With this message was a feeling of mild irritation on his part. I understood that he had been working with others facing the same dilemma. We live life after life in Forgetfulness and the more we Remember the less we want to stay because we know we are not Home and want to return there. Then there is the massive contrast between Earth life/energy and what we Remember. Who would want to stay? Not me!

He then told me, “Our fleet is positioned near the sun but will be moving towards Earth at a rate of …” I go blank here. What he said just did not register in my brain. I saw an image of the sun and this tiny spot that was literally so close that it looked like a part of the sun.

I asked, “I thought you were in Saturn’s rings?” He said, “That is another fleet”.

He then requested that I relay this information to others. He emphasized that I include his name – Lord Commander Sananda.

My Reaction

This is beyond bizarre to me. The experience I had of being off planet was/is the strangest to digest. I was in a dream and then I just wasn’t. When I woke it felt like the experience was just placed there. Like someone put it there but then it was so real! I just keep trying to put it together and my brain can’t do it. There is no explanation!

And Sananda, or whoever he is…holy shit he is amazing! Somewhat intimidating but amazing nonetheless. His face shimmered! Oh and he had this symbol between his eyes, where the third-eye is. It was silvery-white and looked like a diamond and had dotted lines outlining it!

 

 

 

by

Proposal from Spirit

I was asked by Spirit today if I would consider being a medium again.

I was not expecting it. I was doing a yearly forecast for a friend of mine (tarot reading) when Spirit stepped forward as I was tuning in. It was so crystal clear that I was a bit taken aback. I quickly took down the message and then a group in Spirit approached me.

It was like they were waiting in the shadows. I felt them – 10 of them – but one came forward to speak for the rest. That is how they usually speak to me because that is my rule otherwise they usually all speak at once and that would give anyone a headache. 😉

I wish I remember their exact words when they presented to me their “proposal”. LOL I laugh because it was very obvious this was a planned encounter. I do remember that they mentioned my heart being open as a sign that I was “available” to them in this capacity again. The woman speaking for the group was tall with very straight blonde hair that went to her hips. She looked like a model – tall, thin, angular features and blue eyes. Almost like an elf.

I told them I would allow them to come to me again (I had previously asked Steven to shut the gates to them) but I did not want them to harass or pressure me. And I would do it on my terms and only as long as it brought about good for both me and everyone else involved. In the past I stopped enjoying giving readings because I got caught up in the money making aspect of it. I was not greedy but I wanted to do it for a living. I learned quickly that making money using my spiritual gifts disagreed with me. I ended up in an Ego tug-of-war because of it and quickly entered my Dark Night (long, long story).

Mediumship is my absolute favorite spiritual gift. There is nothing like the energy that comes through or the personalities of those in Spirit I speak with. When I use this gift/ability it never ceases to blow my mind. And what is even more astonishing is that I forget pretty much everything Spirit tells after I break the connection. If I don’t record it, I lose it. All of it. It is like my memory is erased. I remember my clients would often return and say things like, “Remember when you said…..” and I would be like, “No. Sorry”. LOL

When I was openly a medium and giving readings as a living in 2003-2005 I felt the most in line with my purpose here. I wanted to do it forever. I really thought I had found my purpose. Nothing since has given me such satisfaction. I have seen Spirit again recently and held back. I don’t know if my husband would accept it. When I saw Spirit in a restaurant one time and told my husband he gave me a weird look. lol But in 2003-2005 I would openly tell people I was a medium and do readings pretty much everywhere I was. I was proud of my gift and didn’t care if it made people uncomfortable. I got a lot of strange looks! lol

My other favorite ability is my medical intuition. This ability never faded away. I always have it, but I don’t use it because I don’t want to know. Really, I don’t. 🙂 However, it is very useful in healing, so I always use my medical intuition to see energy blockages. I can usually see my own blockages as well. Since the light language transmission began and I started speaking and writing the codes, I have found that my healing ability is ten times stronger than it was. I will spontaneously begin to speak in light language while sending the healing. I have been told the healing can be felt intensely when I do this.

I suspect this is a nudge from my Team to get back on track and begin using my abilities again. Maybe this time I won’t stumble and fall flat on my face. I am definitely much more humble than I was in my twenties.

by

Another Memory

I have had yet another memory resurface. This is one that has repeated and I keep forgetting it despite it repeating. So since I have time today I want to write it down before I forget.

The memory is of a conversation I had with my Companion years ago and with it came a memory of my own of an event early in this incarnation.

I was shown the work that goes on prior to birth. In this I also had memory of participating in this work. The work involved integrating with the human host. There was memory of getting the host to agree to the integration. It was a communication with the body and it communicated back!

During the integration process I was not alone. I was in the body but not the body yet. I was still settling in. The body consciousness was in the process of being formed and so I was learning how to take control of it.

There was specific focus on the brain as it was being developed (so I am in the body while it is still forming inside my mommy). I “touch” an area of the brain lovingly, tentatively. In this process my Companion is showing me how to do this, like a lesson in “How to integrate with a body”. lol

What is interesting is that the body, this tiny human body still growing and forming inside its mother, had its own consciousness. It was very limited, of course, but it was there. It had a simplistic type of consciousness. Perhaps this is in fact the Ego, but it is hard for me to tell as I only recall the surprise I had in discovering that this body had its own ability to function separately from me. The purpose in communicating with the body was to get it to agree that I was its friend; that I was helpful to have and would take care of it. It was a nurturing, loving, energy/feeling I was sending it and when accepted the link was established and then built upon. Eventually the body and me became one and my consciousness and its consciousness were permanently linked.

I remember this memory vividly and wonder sometimes if the memory is the creation of Me, the Experiencer, and what my Companion means when he said, “I created you”. If so, it is quite intriguing indeed!

by

The Antecedent

I have been holding back writing about something that has been going on because I was still trying to figure out what it was and if it was anything of note. I believe I now have a good understanding of what it is.

Antecedent

For the past several nights I have been seeing colors behind my closed eyes. These are not just blank patches of colors. No. These are colorful objects. I have no idea what I am seeing, though.

The color I first saw was a vivid purple. It was in the shape of two circles, one on top of the other, but there were swirls of different hues of purple inside the circles and I swear I also saw triangles inside.

The next color was blue. A vivid blue. A blue that completely saturated my visual field.

The next color was orange. This time the image was obvious. It was of oranges, a huge pile of them.

Then I saw a vivid red. There was a circular shape with this color, too.

I have a slight memory  of seeing yellow and green as well, but not as vividly nor as long.

These colors came and went in the previous nights always in the same order. Last night I finally asked what was going on.

I saw myself as a shimmering, crystalline energy body. I was nearly white but when I thought “white” I was corrected. No, its silver.

I was told this is what my energy now looks like. I could clearly see my arms. They looked like they were covered in silvery-white, iridescent armor without seams. So beautiful!

I wondered about the lights. I heard, “Antecedent”. This caused me to pause for a moment. I was momentarily confused. Was this the grammatical version of the word or the version which meant, “to come before”?

I knew it was the latter.

Of course I asked,”Antecedent to what?”

I saw in my mind’s eye two different spirals, one silver, the other gold. They intertwined and spun together as if dancing. It very much resembled a metallic braid.

The information came through along with the image. I knew what I was seeing was a soul braid, a term I have only heard recently to describe a type of walk-in experience where another soul “walks in” but the current soul remains and the two share the physical vessel. They are braided together; merged.

It was then as if all the blanks began to fill in. Like someone turned on the lights.

 

What I Know

The colors are a process I have been through before. My chakras are being aligned and attuned. I was seeing and experiencing this attunement in a different way than before. Last time I had a dream of it. This time I am feeling it. The attunement is a preparation for another energy to assume control over the chakras. They must be precisely attuned for this to occur. Not necessarily a higher vibration but a purer one.

With seeing the colors I often get a strange buzzing in my crown chakra. This last time, last night, I felt as if I was being pushed OOB. I felt myself shifting to the right as if being pushed gently from the left. This startled me and I resisted. So I did not leave my body.

The information that came to me was that in May this year, when I had that profound experience where I felt to be two people in one body, was in fact that. The other remained, remains to this day. I was told not long after that that we were merged. This essentially means the soul braid is complete. Presently, another step is about to be taken. I am being asked to “step back” and allow this other me to come forward and “take the reins” again.

Oddly, I am not freaked out by this. The experience I had in May was so sublime, so beautifully spectacular in every imaginable way that there is no way I am going to say no to another opportunity to experience something like it again! However, I am told this time it will be “different”. How, I am not sure.

I am told that this other part wants to experience this life for a time and that he/she wants to “teach me some things” and will do so when this “transfer” occurs (now I know why I said a “transfer” the other morning!). I felt from this communication that there is a great opportunity to learn on both our parts by participating in the transfer.

When asked when this will occur, the other me just said, “Whenever you decide to let go”. Which, of course, means I must be willing to give up the pilot’s seat. Considering I did it before, I don’t think it will be an issue. However, I am reminded that last time I never actually gave up control, I just shared it. Can I actually give it up? What would that be like? Hmm

Walk-In/Soul Braid

The third-eye and accompanying heart chakra activity I have been experiencing on a near constant basis is evidence of the successful soul braid. I know that now.

I honestly can’t believe this is happening to me. I was led to the idea of walk-in months ago (prior to May) but it never quite made sense to me. Why would I be told walk-in when it is evident that I am STILL here? Yet I did experience something profound and have since been so much more connected than I have ever been with my guide/HS/companion traveler (not really sure what to call him now!).

It now makes so much sense to me! The other soul walked-in in May and initiated the merge/braid at that time. The connection or braid was made official not long after when I was told “the merging is complete”.

I feel honored to be in this situation. I cannot explain it nor can I describe the deep connection, the love and devotion that I have for my Companion (that is what he wishes to be called – so be it). Call me crazy or whatever but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

by

Things to Keep in Mind

Just a random post. Don’t mind me. 🙂

Some Things to Keep in Mind

Stop thinking of this life as an “illusion”, if it was meant to be an illusion, then you would have known it to be so from the beginning. It was meant to be “real” and in fact is very real in and of itself for its purposes. To continue to think of it as “unreal” is to lessen the significance of the experience and thus limit the usefulness of the data collected. It is better to think of all experience as equal and to fully immerse ones self in the current experience one finds themselves in.

Life is a game which contains within it many other games going on simultaneously. It is your choice which games you wish to play. No one game is any less worthwhile than the other. The choice depends on you and what you wish to learn. Recognizing the game gives you an advantage. Remembering you have played the game before is also an advantage. With this memory you can choose to play new games instead of playing the same games over and over.

Some Things to Remember

I really like how I “wrote” this life. I want to do it again!  <- Real thought I had today – I promise!

Specific favorite moments:

  • The first time I went OOB (spontaneous) and the entire “teaching” experience that followed.
  • Learning how to control my astral body. I spun in circles  and sunk into the floor when I tried to walk.
  • Learning how to “see” while OOB and when I finally gained sight being blown away by the spectacular colors.
  • Feeling as if I became objects as I went through them while in astral.
  • Meeting my guide in astral for the first time.
  • Hugging/feeling/touching my guide.
  • The time I heard my guide speak to me in a foreign language – how it came in via my crown along with a golden light that swirled and moved and sounded high pitched like a chipmunk voice. hehe
  • Meeting my father and grandfather in astral and hugging/touching them.
  • Realizing I could communicate with Spirit and doing so as if I had always known how.
  • Helping all the people I have helped.
  • Remembering.
  • Feeling whole and expanded and so very alive.

There is so much more but you get the idea. All in all I am feeling so very grateful and pleased with how this life has worked out thus far. I can’t wait to see what else I have in store for me!

 

 

 

by

Heart Chakra Intensity and Swoosh!

I’ve had some energetic activity today which has been interesting. It began this afternoon on the way home from the gym at around 11:20am. I was singing a song and it vibrated intensely inside my chest, specifically right about my heart chakra. I was fascinated with this feeling. Had I felt it before when singing? If so, why was it so obvious now? I sang different pitches to test the sensitivity. The deeper notes felt the best. The vibrations felt lovely, too. Is this why I have always loved singing so much?

Around 1pm while at the park with my children I became very calm and peaceful. I kept noticing nature and feeling I should enjoy it. So I did. What was interesting is that my attention kept being drawn to individual leaves as they fell down towards the earth. I noted how different each of them was in the way they fell – their shape and movement. Some fell quickly in a mad dash for the ground. Others flitted and seemed to change their mind, flying upward toward the sky before finally settling to the ground. Again, I was fascinated by their dance. I could almost hear the Nutcracker playing in the background. hehe

Around this time I began to feel third-eye and heart chakra activity. We went for a walk like we always do after a visit to the playground. While walking my chest began to feel odd. There was a pulling energy in the same area where I had felt the vibrations previously, but this almost hurt. It did not last long, thankfully.

While going about the rest of my day I have felt as if I was being “watched” by a very large energy and had intermittent crown chakra sensations. I could not enjoy them because my children kept interrupting, so I don’t know much more than the feeling that accompanied them. It was a familiar feeling, one that in the past would have made me nervous. But this time there was no nervousness, just acceptance.

I decided to do yoga for the hips, back and legs. This is night three this week of yoga for me. I keep feeling drawn to do it, so I have been. This particular video was new and quite challenging for me since those areas are very stiff. I was completely immersed in the stretches and then when in savasana things changed.

The voice on the video requested I focus on the upper area of my heart (this was unexpected). So I did but when I did I felt uneasy, almost faint, and so would shift my focus to my third-eye and then redirect. The feeling kept returning along with a very strong presence to my left. It was really, really close and really, really BIG. I kept thinking, “I am going to pass out” but kept doing what the man was telling me to do. Focus on the upper heart area. Relax. Try not to think. Etc. The entire time this area of my heart felt very weird and caused me to feel as if I would pass out.

As the video was ending I was so deeply relaxed that I began to feel like I was sinking into the floor. I kept hearing noises that I think were on the video but I’m not sure. It just felt so wonderful.

All along there remained the huge presence to my left.

The next thing I know my body is being pounded by wave after wave of energy. Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!

I knew I had entered the trance state and my mind was alerted instantly causing my heart to speed up a bit. But the energy kept pouring over me. It was an all-over intense energy, that came in waves that swept over me each more intense than the last. It was not the energy blanket like I would normally feel in this state. It was superb!

Sadly, my middle son came into the room and asked me why I was sleeping on the floor. Energy slowed but I continued to feel as if I had become one with the floor. Wonderful!

I don’t think I would have gone OOB but I felt like if I had passed out I would have left my body. What was so strange is that I felt drugged, as if I were being lulled into this state. Perhaps that was what the BIG presence was doing?

I am also fascinated by the upper chakra activity from today. First the vibrations from singing, then the strange ache and finally it causing me to feel faint. Weird! I am intrigued!

The BIG presence is Them. You know who, etc, etc. They’re baaaackk. lol

 

 

 

by

Light Language Workshop

Yesterday I attended an on-line light activation class. I signed up for it because when I saw it posted a couple of weeks ago my third-eye began to blaze with energy and I thought, “I should do that”. So I did.

Unfortunately, I was unable to fully focus on the second half of the class because my daughter arrived home from school and at the same time my toddler woke from his nap. He is a very fussy, clingy little one after a nap, so I had to hold him and console him, missing out of the last hour of the class.

I did, however, get to do the first part which invovled drumming and practicing vocalizing light language. The first part caused my third-eye to blaze intensely. The second half I struggled with but did participate in. Whenever I vocalized what was coming through my whole body was covered in warm energy that spread from my heart chakra outward. My third-eye also was very intense with energy.

I was able to write down some of what I received but was interrupted by the bus arriving. The picture above is what I wrote, but only the smaller symbols. The second half is what came out this morning right after waking.

Activation

I believe there was an activation initiated with this class but it has not been anything major for me as of yet. I was resistant to expressing the language coming through via vocalization and movement. However, I have no issue allowing the symbols to flow through and I hear the sounds/words/syllables in my mind.

My head began to hurt during and after the class. It was localized to the area right above my left eye. I was told in the class that this is not uncommon. It was not painful enough to disrupt my life and this morning it is gone.

Interpretation of Symbols

The symbols above have varying meanings and I will not go into detail about what each one means. The message includes: “Galactic Council of Light”, “trans-dimensional”, “communication”, “assimilation”, “build (house)”, “freedom” and “barriers”.

The second half, the larger section I wrote this morning, includes: “contact point”, “reference”, “destination”, “simultaneous”, “influx”, “energy”, “translocation” among others.

Overall the messages I received when put together send a message of connection and communication with the Council and Galactic Federation of Light. There is also a communication about an upcoming influx of energy and contact with my Team.