Tag Archives: symbolism

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Beetle Mania

Sorry to disappoint you, but this is not about The Beatles. 🙂 lol

For about a week  I’ve been seeing beetles everywhere. First they were coming in my dreams. Big, black, shiny beetles walking around. I noticed them in my dreams as out of place and so when I woke that was pretty much all I recalled about the dream. Weird, huh?

Last night as I went into the house and was preparing for bed, I looked down on my black yoga pants and saw a bug. Looking closer I recognized it. Do you?

A little lightening bug was on me! Tee-hee!

Then this morning, about an hour after thinking to myself, “I need to write a post on beetles because I keep seeing them” I spotted a tiny black beetle on the floor in the bathroom. It was probably the size of my pinky fingernail, but it was still gross to me so I picked it up with some TP and tossed it in the toilet. Yuck!

So what is up, Mr. Beetle? Why do you keep coming around?

Upon first inspection, seeing a beetle in your dreams does not look to be a good sign. Everywhere I looked online said that if you see a beetle in your dreams just casually walking around (like in mine) then it means there is a destructive force present in your waking life. This destructive force could be internal or external. Other than that, it leaves the determination of just what this force is up to the dreamer. Not really that easy to do in my case as there are so many such forces both internally and externally that I can choose from. lol

Then I thought to look up the symbolism of the beetle as a totem or sign just to see if it differed from the dream symbolism. Sometimes the meaning is the same regardless but in this case it was very different.

As always I went to whats-your-sign.com and found a plethora of information on the symbolism of the beetle. Yay! I love that website! Anyway, rather than summarize everything, I will just pick and choose those parts of Mr. Beetle’s message that I feel are applicable to me and my situation.

Transformation
Adaptation
Surrender to change
Strength
Stability
Give thanks for those things that are stable, reliable and secure in my life
Focus on the material
Be more grounded
Be more rooted in our life (family connections)
Take note of negative thoughts and their influence
Black indicates promotion of stability, protection and healing misunderstandings

It seems to me that Mr. Beetle has come to remind me to focus on my life and getting it on track. All things mundane and then some is what seems to be his theme. There is, of course, a spiritual component to his message, but it seems that he wants me to see the spiritual in the physical. This I am happy to do but at the same time I would rather not get my hands dirty with some of the more unpleasant parts. I admit, little, black beetles give me the heebie-jeebies. lol

I prefer the message of the little firefly/lightening bug. I linked to the symbolism above but will say his message brings me a bit more hope. I can use some inspiration, imagination, illumination, and patience. Patience especially. 🙂

 

 

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The Ankh

I awoke this morning in a similar state to how I fell asleep but without the dizzy spells. In this state I was speaking with someone and repeated a name several times. Or at least at the time I thought it was a name. The only part of it I remember now is Ankh. I specifically recall the name had two syllables but the first part – Ankh – is all I could recall once fully awake.

Not long ago I was given the name Hermes by one of my guides. Hermes is linked to the caduceus which in turn is connected to the Kundalini. In this article the caduceus is also linked to the Ankh.

I have Egyptian connections via past lives. These have just recently been revealed to me but I do not have nor have I ever had a specific interest or fascination with ancient Egypt. Yet this morning when I heard the name I knew instinctively that it was Egyptian in origin and my first thought was that I needed to look up Akhenaten. My first thought when I read about Akhenaten was Ancient Alien theory. This is mentioned in the above link. I connected this with my Starseed origins but did not overthink it.

I am not sure what all of these symbols mean yet. Since they continue to arise in my conscious mind I must assume there is a reason.

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A Dream and a Name

In this dream I was at a gym preparing for a group class. The instructor came in and had us all grab barbells. For some reason I grabbed two very small dumbbells to do push-ups and then realized we were going to do something else, so dropped them only to find all the barbells were taken. The instructor then had us line up very close, holding our barbells. Then we were attached to one another by clips. The result was that we appeared as a human grid.

Our assignment was to run a route in pairs. We would be carrying a barbell between us and our fuel was an assortment of tea.

As my partner and I ran together, we far outpaced the rest of the group. The route was a dirt path among rolling hills covered in tall, green grass. The view from the top of the hill was spectacular and my partner and I sprinted down the hill together at a high speed. I remember looking behind us and seeing our group shrink as the distance between us increased. I remember feeling intense joy and pride at our accomplishment.

Then we reached the bottom of the hill and our speed dramatically decreased. We slowly made our way to what appeared to a be a large temple or shrine made out of light gray stone. There were paved roads that meandered around green patches of grass dotted with flowers and surrounded by short hedges.

I noticed our ration of tea bags was almost gone and we were nearly out of water. How could we ever get to the finish line without our fuel? I decided to put several tea bags in our last remaining water. My partner said, “Wouldn’t that make the tea too strong?” I said yes and explained I liked it that way. There remained three gray tea bags of Oolong tea.

This is when the others in our group began to catch up to us. One pair passed us and I noticed they were on a tandem bicycle. That is when I realized my partner and I were on two separate bicycles.

As we made our way toward the main road, my partner wanted to take a different route. I hesitated but then followed him since both routes led to the same destination. As we pedaled down the path, I saw two police officers rounding up some children who did not follow the directions and were off track. I remember thinking I was glad I was not one of them.

path

Dream Interpretation

The dream is suggestive of not working with my counterpart toward our common goal. There is a separation that exists, symbolized by the separate bicycle when we should be on a tandem bike. Tea is symbolic of life satisfaction and taking one’s time in regards to a relationship. Not only is tea our “fuel” and we are running low but our speed slows down significantly.

In-Between Communication

Prior to waking from this dream, I found myself in a discussion with an online friend. We were talking about desire and her lack of it and my sudden increase of it. I pointed out my partner, who appeared much as he did in past lucid dreams though he was quite a distance away in this particular lucid moment. I remember telling her, “I don’t have any issue with it (desire) now.” She had said something like, “My partner and I do not have any interest in each other anymore.”

She then said to me, “If you want to be with him why don’t you initiate?” I said, “I don’t know. I just don’t want to.” I remember looking at my partner from a distance and thinking I would like him to come over where we were standing.

That is when I became lucid in the in-between and my Companion was close. I knew he wanted me to do what he normally did in our past encounters. He wanted me to initiate our connection. My first thought was, “How? I don’t know how.” Yet I could feel my heart chakra active. It felt like my entire chest was a mass of solid energy. My third eye was also active.

There was recognition then that I preferred to be the pursued, not the pursuer. In fact, all my life I have never once pursued anyone other than one boyfriend in high school who took my advances to mean I wanted to jump right in bed with him. This was not the case and I quickly withdrew. I discovered that if I showed any interest in a man (meaning just being nice to them or friendly) it was misconstrued to mean I wanted to have sex with them. So I quickly learned to remain distant and let them pursue me. If I was interested then I would accept. It I was not, I would ignore them or straight out tell them to back off. It really sucked for me to be this way because I prefer men to women as friends yet I could never have a male friend because they always wanted it to go beyond friendship. 😦

That is when I was straight out told that I needed to reverse this role. I needed to pursue what I wanted. If I wanted sex, then I need to initiate it. If I wanted the heart connection, then I needed to initiate it. There is nothing wrong with wanting either. It is my right, my decision.

But I fear the rejection that goes with it. I recognized this fear right away.

That is when I recall hearing myself ask my Companion, “What is your name?” I heard myself reply, “Allen”. This brought me to full wakefulness and I remember hearing an entire name, “Richard Allen” but I can’t remember the last name now. Then I could not remember my own name and it took me quite some time to remember it.

As I lingered in bed, trying to get a grip on reality, I had a vivid vision of an orange cat. It was very obviously dead.

 

orangecat

 

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Dream: Caging the Dogs

In this dream I was at my mom’s house. There were two dogs who I was scolding and putting in a large pen that resembled a chicken pen. They had escaped on more than one occasion and the screen door was damaged. I tied the door in place with bungee cords and then spotted a small hole that I knew one of the dogs would try and escape out of. So I went scrounging for a piece of wire to patch the hole. I found some on an old, rotten chicken coup and pulled it off along with the tiny wires that held the piece in place. Then I patched the hole. I was very meticulous about placing the patch and felt proud of myself when I completed it because I knew there was no way the dogs could escape.

Interpretation

I am afraid of something I know, something that I feel may escape if I do not pen it up properly. This “something” is connected to the symbol of the dog. Dogs can represent various things. In this particular dream they are playful and are escaping and causing damage to their pen. A pen is typically symbolic of communication and self-expression and since this one resembled a chicken pen then I am afraid of expressing a certain aspect of myself. Based upon these symbols, I can only guess that I am being encouraged to stop limiting my expression of my intuitive gifts. This does not feel totally correct, though, and I want to say that the dogs represent living life fully and being loyal to myself.

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Two Recurring Dream Symbols

My sleep has been very dream-filled and deep of late. There are some symbols that keep repeating that I think are worth mentioning.

Cats

Cats continue to appear. Usually they are in varying states of health. My most vivid memory is of a gray cat that was literally cut in half yet still alive. There was also a memory of a cat and a snake together. This cat was white and also ill. Still yet there was another dream in which the cat was lashing out at me with its claws and hissing. I was not afraid of it, though.

Cats are representative of feminine sexuality, independence, creativity and/or power. For me, they are usually indicative of my sexuality. The colors vary, but I suspect the gray cat that was cut in half represents my masculine and feminine sides not yet being united and whole. Aggression is symbolic of not accepting my feminine side/sexuality. The white cat with the snake could indicate fear of the feminine side of myself.

No Gas (Fuel)

Twice now I have had memories of looking at my cars fuel gauge and seeing it on empty.

In the first dream I was chasing a man who I had been dating but had disconnected from me. I never saw the man. Instead I was outside an apartment complex getting into my car. When I turned on my car it began to shake violently and the lights flashed. That is when I realized I had no gas and needed to get to a gas station. I found one nearby but it was foreign – the cost of the gas was in liters and it cost 50 cents a liter. The attendant approached me and he was Japanese and asked how he could assist me. I allowed him to fill up my gas tank and gave him my credit card which was in the shape of the state of Texas.

The second dream was just of me seeing my gas gauge was at empty and being concerned about it.

Apparently I need to rest and re-energize or feel the need to do so. It also indicates that I need to focus on my health, which I am doing. It just so happens that the number 50 has to do with healing and well-being.

 

 

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Chapter 4

Towards evening, after a day spent in the country with family, I began to hear a song that I hadn’t heard since I graduated high school. Boyz II Men, End of the Road. I kept hearing the chorus in my head. Since I don’t like the song (never did) or the group (sorry if you did/do like them) I pushed it out of my head. Whew!

Later, while attempting sleep, another song popped into my head. This one was more to my liking – The Doors, End. 🙂 The only part I was hearing was, “This is the end, my only friend, the end.”

I didn’t know at the time why I was receiving these messages in song about endings. I figured a relationship was coming to an end because I had an experience earlier in the day that led me to believe this was the message. I went into our back yard and as soon as I opened the door I heard an airy, “Bang!” and saw a dove fall from a tree in our back yard. I was stunned and a bit angry. The dove I had found previously had been shot and I suspected some kid was playing target practice. My suspicions confirmed, I looked all over for the perpetrator but saw no one. It was a pellet gun. I knew by the sound of it because my grandfather used them to kill squirrels. I sat outside waiting for another shot, but it remained silent. I don’t think the person wanted to be found out. Too bad. I would have confronted him and given him a piece of my mind.

It could very well be that a relationship has ended or is about to end, but that was not the message given to me as I meditated prior to sleep. I was told that Chapter 4 was beginning today and that I had concluded the previous chapter of this transformation. I still am not sure what the theme of that chapter was. Maybe illness since I was sick throughout it.

I was told that unlike the other chapters, which I had been shown were written with a partner, this chapter would be written only by me.

Chapter 4 is about initiation and preparation for Contact. This was given to me point blank and surprised me. They explained to me that I could not be distracted as any distraction would compromise learning. It was clearly stated that my main focus in life at this time was my children/family and spiritual transformation. Nothing else. Diversion from either path would interfere with preparation.

I was also asked again if I would agree to be Their channel. I agreed. I have no issue with helping Them and enjoy the energy sensations that come with channeling . I inquired as to what type of information I would be channeling. I was told it would be specifics about Their species and the work they are doing. I was assured it would be explained in a way that we humans could understand it.

 

 

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Night of Vivid Dreams

Sleep was good last night and I feel rested this morning. The only problem is I had a very long dream, one of those dreams that continues after waking and then falling back to sleep.

I won’t go into the dream details but I want to explore the symbolism because some symbols reappeared throughout.

Puffer Fish and Babies

In one dream a woman caught a huge Puffer Fish. It was bloated and the size of a beach ball. From inside she pulled two small babies and I was shocked. I asked, “It is a marsupial?” I knew we were in Australia at the time and almost became lucid.

The babies then traveled with us throughout the dream. We were protecting them.

Puffer fish symbolize repressed or unexpressed anger. Because it was puffed up, it symbolizes the holding in of something (not specified) which is in danger of exploding at any time.

Interestingly, babies represent warmth, innocence and new beginnings. In this case, there were two (not twins), and I was protecting them. They grew up to young boys in the dream, even. Two symbolizes duality, partnership and soul receptivity.

From looking at the symbols here I suspect I was discussing how I transmuted something negative into something positive. Growth is occurring.

Houses

There were many different houses in my dream. The most common was a cluster of houses inside a compound. They were not lived in, but empty and waiting to be moved into. I remember walking along a cobblestone path between the houses and thinking that I liked this place, which I called a “commune”. I liked the idea of living there and felt comfortable, even suggesting we invite others to live there.

The house in general is symbolic of the soul and Self. In this case I believe I was discussing other aspects of mySelf and exploring the possibility that these exist.

In another dream I located a house in the commune which I recognized and pointed it out. I told my mother, “I want to move back there” and pointed to it. It was white with large windows in the front and two front doors. It was still occupied but the owners were moving out and were going to let me move in. They gave me a Mother’s Day present, which I opened. Two balloons floated out of it and it spewed confetti everywhere. Inside were small pieces of candy. The present cost $16 I was told. I felt I did not deserve it.

This dream represented a forgotten aspect of mySelf. I seemed fond of it. I explored it in great depth, even the backyard which had a hutch with wild rabbits and a crystal clear swimming pool. I believe I was being encouraged to explore this aspect and that is why I was given the present. There are other symbols here as well, but I won’t go into depth on them.

Whiskey Lullaby

When I awoke a song was in my head called “Whiskey Lullaby”. It was only one part of the song, which repeated over and over. This was the second morning that I awoke singing it to myself.

The lyrics I heard were:

Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

It’s quite a depressing song and the lyrics I heard made me wonder if perhaps I had gotten in over my head in this life.

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Symbol: Starbust Within a Circle

This morning as I awoke I received a vivid image of an air plane in mid-flight. It was perfectly white and flawless. Toward the front end of the plane was a symbol – a starburst etched in black surrounded by a red circle.

The image stayed for a while, until I saw the symbol, then it vanished.

Strangely, I thought of Japan and recalled briefly a dream of talk of traveling to Japan. I am not sure how Japan has anything to do with this, but I wanted to add the information just in case it meant something.

I researched the Japanese flag because in my study of history I vaguely recalled there was something similar to the symbol I saw on the flag. This is what I found. What I saw isn’t on this page but it is interesting to me that the imperial standard of the emperor of Japan is very similar.

However, when I saw the plane I felt the presence of a woman, the same woman who had been talking to me in my dreams last night. I believe she is the same one who spoke to me when I boarded the ship in the OBE I had the night before last. Her message to me when I saw the plane was, “We’re waiting for you”.

All I know for sure is the way the vision made me feel. I felt hopeful and a bit excited. This feeling has followed me through most of my day as has the impression of the starburst within a circle.

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Dream: The Bear Awakens

After yesterday’s intense K experience, last night was a walk in the park. I slept especially well and awoke feeling hopeful and positive, as if I had received good news.

Dream: The Bear Awakens

One dream in particular was indicative of the news I received. In it, I was made aware that a black bear was wandering around. I went and retrieved it and took it to an area that resembled my mother’s back yard in that there was a huge swimming pool. However, this pool resembled a small pond and had rock ledges and streams built into it.

It was still dark outside and the sky was dotted with stars and so clear that it almost appeared to ripple like the water of the pool. The pool’s water reflected the darkness of the sky so well that if one were to look at the pool and the sky simultaneously they would have appeared to be one in the same.

I took the bear to the pool and let him loose. I watched as he frolicked and jumped about. He had such energy! He stumbled into the water and then out, not sure what he had just fallen into. Then he dove into the pool and swam. I remember feeling so pleased watching him express his intense happiness.

There was a time when I was watching him in the water that I swear his furry leg took on the shape of a woman’s leg. It was like the water transformed him at that moment. Yet when I looked again, the leg was gone and it was only the bear who seemed very much like a pet dog more than a bear.

Dream: 26

Another dream that is very vivid is one in which I was at a college milling around with a bunch of college students. When I first walked in, I was speaking with a woman whose face I never saw. She was remarking at how clear my skin had become and how beautiful I looked. Her exact words were, “You look brilliant”. I remember feeling self-conscious, worrying that I had acne all over my face. Yet when I passed by a mirror I saw that indeed my face was clear but it had a dark, almost orange-red colored shadow over it. I decided this was acceptable.

I was aware at this time that I was at “registration” yet I was not registering. Instead I seemed to be there as a mentor to others who were registering for school. I no longer heard the woman’s voice but now was talking to two young girls. We were specifically talking about years in which we had been born and our ages in comparison to one another. The young girls said they were born in 1996 and I recognized they were 20 years younger than me. I ended up deciding they were 26 years old and this number kept being repeated.

One of the girls asked me about my life and I explained that I was married and had three children. She remarked at how brave I was to have done this and I paused as I considered what she said. She said that she could not imagine ever having children and I remember clearly that I walked up to her and said, “It will be the best thing you ever do. Only through your children will you truly know your heart”. When I said it, I put my hand to her heart and I felt how true my words were for me in my own life. I would not be the person I am today had I not had them to show me who I really am.

Considerations

Both of these dreams were very memorable and vivid and left me with a feeling of accomplishment and pride. I feel very calm and accepting today of life in general which is very much in contrast to how I have been feeling for a while now.

I believe the bear dream is connected to a message I received not long ago about hibernating – Bear, John. In this present dream the bear is no longer sleeping but has awakened and is refreshed and full of energy. The period of rest and rejuvenation is over and it is time to be awake, aware and moving forward again.

The dream about college is also very positive in that it brings with it the message of the number 26. This number is all about attaining fame and/or material reward. In other words, that which you have been working toward in the material world is now about to manifest in positive ways.

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Dream: Talking Fish

My sleep continues to be deep with dreams throughout. I lose most of the dreams upon waking, even if I spend a moment going over the details before returning to sleep. When I wake I feel heavy with sleep and it is difficult to push myself out of bed in the morning. Part of me loves it but another part misses my lucid dreams and astral travels.

Dream: Talking Fish

I only now recall one dream from last night and it was likely because it was so odd. In the dream I was wading in a crystal clear pond. In the middle was some kind of statue but I don’t recall it now. There was an Asian feel to the scene and though I could see well everything was in silver grays and varying hues of white and light blue.

I was fishing with my hands alongside others, how many I don’t know. I could see large, silvery-white fish through the water and was talking with someone about catching one for dinner. I reached into the water for one and, to my surprise, caught it. I exclaimed, “I caught one!” and held it up to look at it. It was large and reminded me of an Angel fish. It squirmed in my hands and I clenched at it as it flung itself up and over the white wall that contained the pond I was standing in. I looked at my hands and part of the fish’s body and fin was still in my hand. Worried, I walked over to the wall and looked over just in time to see the fish fall into the ocean. I said, “It will die now” because it had lost part of it’s body. Also, I thought it was not a salt water fish, but something told me the water was the same as the pond he came from.

I turned to look for another fish and the fish that had gone over the wall flopped up and back into my hands. Holding it, I looked at it and it looked at me, its eyes resembling that of a human. Then it began to talk to me, asking me questions. I don’t remember them all now, but I do recall it asking me, “What are you going to do with me?”

Hearing the fish talk must have triggered something in my conscious mind because it pulled me out of the dream and to instant wakefulness.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream arose from my concerns prior to sleep but could potentially be a mixture of things. I had been thinking of business matters prior to bed and when I woke each time last night, that was what was on my mind. However, fish represent the subconscious mind in dreams. A white fish, as this one mostly was, indicates one’s spiritual beliefs. Fishing in a dream means to bring repressed emotions to the surface. To me, it appears that I am feeling unable to keep a hold of something from my subconscious mind, I keep losing it, yet at the same time I am looking (fishing) for it. The fact that the fish comes back and asks me the questions indicates that I may not know how to handle what is coming out of my subconscious at this time.