Tag Archives: symbolism

by

Dreams: Yearbooks and Graduation

Once again I am having dreams about graduation. It seems these kinds of dreams come in a sequence: looking for or going to school, going to class, and then graduation. It would be nice to know exactly what my degrees are. I would have a dozen at least by now!

Yearbooks

The first dream of the night was short. I was inside a home that reminded me of my mother’s house, but it wasn’t. My middle son was sitting on the floor next to an old, wooden chest. I asked him, “Have you seen my yearbooks?” He got this guilty look on his face and shrunk back from me. Knowing he had done something wrong, I investigated.

I found scattered across the floor at least five yearbooks. Sadly, my son had ripped the front covers of all of them except one. I gathered them up, asking him, “Why did you do that?” Irritated, I looked over them closely and put them in order. 2010, 2012, 2013…all the way to 2015. 2011 was in the wrong place, so I placed it after 2010 and looked at them stacked up in my arms.

They all had sky blue or medium blue and white covers. Some of the artwork on the cover was familiar and I saw my website name written across one of them. I placed the oldest, 2010, on the bottom of the pile and stacked them up in order with 2015 on the top. 2015 was not ripped and I seemed to cherish it the most.

I awoke a bit confused and my guide immediately said to me, “It’s alright”. I wondered why I would have such a dream and instantly fixated on the yearbooks and their dates. What was significant about 2010? I received a message via my heart center that I was struggling to let go of my past, still clinging to aspects of it that needed to be released in order for me to move forward. What those are, I did no know, but it appears I am working on clearing the last remnants while I sleep.

Graduation

The rest of my dreams were spent preparing for graduation and prom. There were many but I only remember one in detail.

I was inside a school. I was different from the other students, allowed to roam free of the rooms and go wherever I wanted while the other students could not. I remember leaving one classroom and heading for another where a lone student sat. He was young, kind of geeky, with long hair and seemed withdrawn and shy.

It appeared I was the only one graduating and so this was why I got so much freedom. It was the last day of school and everyone was preparing for prom. I was not interested in the classroom where all the students were preparing so kept visiting the young man in the other room.

After several visits with him he began to open up and become more friendly. On my last visit he pulled me close and put his hand on my rear. I remember thinking, “He likes me”. I was flattered but not interested. I said to him, “You are a Junior, right?” He said, “Yes”. I said back to him while I moved away from him, “Then you only have one more year to go” The message I sent with my words was that he was too young and inexperienced for me. Ha!

I went back into the other classroom where a group of immature girls were talking loudly and seemed like one instead of twenty. I told the teacher my observation and she told me to clear out my locker. So I went to it, opened it (somehow I knew the combination) and inside it was nearly empty except for some old cookies and snacks. I knew I had not been using it and had not been a “student” for a long time.

Then I was preparing for prom. I walked into a large space with the other students and we each went and picked up our dresses/tuxes. Mine was silky white with lace and a low-cut bodice. I went into a side room to try it on and a little boy assisted me. I remember looking in the mirror at my unfamiliar body wearing a bra and underwear.

The shy young man was spying on me during the dream and his nose was peculiar. He had this black, metal tube over it that was about four inches long. He took it off and then put it in his mouth like a cigar. His nose was very long and reminded me of Pinocchio.

Interpretation

When I awoke the dreams were still very vivid and my guide was close. I felt so comfortably drowsy and wanted to go back to sleep but couldn’t. My guide was communicating something but as it was via my heart I was too lazy to try and decipher it. The message got through regardless.

The upcoming prom in the dream symbolizes this change; an end and preparation for a new beginning. Pinocchio is representative of a lie being told, either by me to myself or from someone else to me. The cigar represents a relaxed state of mind and masculine energy. It could be that the masculine part of me can be deceptive if I let my guard down. The yearbooks in the previous post are representative of the old; the past. They are ripped and torn by my son, indicating a loss or destruction of the past. The present one is undamaged indicating focus upon the present. I show my interest in focusing on the present when I place it on top of the others.

It was made clear that I am coming to the end of yet another stage in this long progression of change. I am encouraged to not look back, only forward. Failures of the past are just that – in the past. The future is possibility and adventure. I can choose to play the game or not. Lessons are best learned in living life, not hiding from it. Focus on living is paramount now. Now is the future, not the past. Let go and move forward.

by

Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

Last night was another long night of dreams. I once again awoke to tears. The clearing continues and I am so weary of it.

I did ask prior to sleep: If I can’t astral travel, can I at least lucid dream?

Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

I awoke at 5am feeling down about life in general. I felt the all-over body energy hug from my Companion as I let the disappointment in myself come to the surface. Overall, I felt/feel like a failure in this life. I asked my Companion why he created the personality and tendencies I have in this life. To me, they are too hard to overcome.

Buzzing energy began to increase around the top of my head and around the base of my spine. The energy around my spine wrapped around the front of my body and felt comforting. I fell asleep.

I found myself inside an unfamiliar house. There was a party going on, a celebration of the release of a sequence of movies. I overheard talk about my younger sister and realized that she was a part of this movie project and attending the party. I went in search of her.

I walked up carpeted stairs to a large room where most of the people were mingling. There was a group dancing and that is where I saw my sister. They were dancing oddly, with strange motions of the hands. It was almost like they were casting spells. I remember that as I watched I hoped no one would ask me to dance.

I ended up downstairs looking around. I wanted to snoop around in my sister’s things. I hadn’t seen her in so long. What was she like as a person now?

Standing there, the thought came to me that I was dreaming. I said aloud, “This is a dream”. Instantly the golden hued, brightly lit room turned dark and I couldn’t see. I moved toward the stairs in the dark and began to ascend.

I jumped up, trying to fly but found it difficult. I said aloud, “I can fly” and was able to hover for a moment but there must have been something wrong with my motivation to fly because I felt pulled back down.

At the top of the stairs I saw a window and headed for it. It was the only source of light and I could see the window clearly. I flew at it full speed reminding myself I could go through objects. When I got the window I went through it without incident and ended up floating outside in a courtyard. All I could see were the branches of a large tree. Beyond that, though, was a bright, golden light. I peered through the leafless branches and saw row upon row of giant sunflowers in a room not far away. I flew toward it.

The sunflowers were inside a room on the first floor. I had to go through another window to get to them.

I attempted a fly-through but was stopped this time and had to manually open the window and pull off the screen. When I went through, my foot caught on the screen. I could see the sunflowers and the large room. I recognized the room. I had been there in a previous dream.

Pulling against the screen, I struggled to get inside with no success. The effort of it caused me to lose motivation. I felt like a failure and gave up. The once bright room dimmed and turned black and I felt the familiar energy as I settled back into my body. I opened my eyes immediately and this caused my heart to feel like it was going to jump out of my chest. I checked my heart rate and it was steady, nothing like how it felt in my chest. I rolled over, disappointed in the entire experience.

Sunflower symbolism – a source of spiritual guidance pointing you in the right direction. Times may be difficult but you will persevere. They also symbolize warmth, abundance and prosperity.

by

Dream: Flooded Car

For the first time in a while I remembered a full night of dreams. I will focus only on one since it was an answer to a question.

Flooded Car

In this dream I first remember being told about a huge flood that was stopping traffic at certain intersections. I then saw in front of me a road and without knowing why, I began to drive at high speeds toward a part of the road that was partially submerged. What is interesting here is that I was flying, not driving at this time. I never actually saw my car but knew it to be my silver Prius.

When I hit the part of the road that was flooded, I was stopped by the water. I don’t remember being in the river of water, just that I was now without my car. I saw other cars that had been caught, lined up along the side, but did not see mine.

I then spent a while trying to find out where my car went. I ended up inside a stark warehouse asking different people what happened to my car. I saw in front of me a list of different car types and their corresponding storage areas where they were placed to dry out. I could not find my car as it was by license plate and I did not know mine.

I began to wander through the building and into rooms. In some rooms there were household items and furniture piled up with tags on them. I passed through this room without much interest.

I went through various levels, sometimes up and down, without finding my car. Finally, I was outside the warehouse being shown where my car was. But when I located it, it was my SUV, not my Prius. The Prius had been totalled, its electrical systems destroyed by the water.

Conversation with Guide

I awoke in the midst of conversing with my guide about the above dream. I recognized the dream was in response to a question and request I had made. My request was that I go quicker through whatever transition it is that I am going through. The question was, “Why is it going so slow?”

It is obvious to me that the Prius represents my individual path and the SUV is that of my path with my family. The flooded roads indicate areas of high emotional charge that have yet to be released and perhaps even the Ego’s hold over these areas of my life. The road was not completely submerged, only halfway.

I threw myself down the partially submerged road and got stuck, my car ultimately was totalled. This symbolizes what would happen if I were allowed to go quicker through this transformation. I would stall out, overwhelmed by emotions, literally drowned in them. I won’t say it means I would “die” but it definitely indicates an overwhelm so big that I would be unable to cope with it.

Then I was shown the SUV as an answer to what I need to be doing now – focusing on this path I am currently on with my family. The rooms in which I walked where furniture and household items were stored symbolize areas of my current life that are emotional triggers for me (there was another dream that explored my connection to my children after this one).

I was not very happy with the answer I received because when I am not experiencing changes related to my transformation, I feel bored and restless. I was reminded to focus on my heart and it helped and now I feel fine, but upon waking I was very upset. Slow and steady wins the race I guess. Sigh.

by

Dream: 40-Year-Old Virgin

I again experienced the strange separation from my body as the night before, but this time it was only once and I resisted very little. I did resist, though, as the feeling is somewhat disturbing.

Interestingly, I remembered several dreams upon waking. I have determined that the dreams I am remembering are meant to help me with this transition by allowing me, this Earth Self, to play out scenarios and sort through beliefs and worry. Technically, these dreams are doing what psychologists say dreams are meant to do.

40-Year-Old Virgin

One particularly vivid dream I remember occurred this morning and was the last dream I recall having. In this dream, I was inside a small, yellow-lit house, in the kitchen with a man. He was older than me, about 40, and confided in me that he was still a virgin. I remember that at this point in the dream he began to resemble Steve Carell and the movie, “41-Year-Old Virgin” was prominent in my mind. I am not attracted to Steven Carell in the least but in this dream there was an attraction I could feel in my root and second chakras. I recall feeling very alive and vibrant but not being overcome by desire or anything like it. I felt compassion and sympathy toward this man and also felt a very strong connection with him.

The dream seemed at first to be moving toward the sexual. We kissed and touched one another, but it was all very gentle and exploratory – there was no hot and heavy passion or flames of desire. It was like we were getting to know one another and exploring the familiarity that existed between us. It was very much like we were two teenage virgins connecting with the opposite sex for the first time.

I remember deciding that we should stop exploring one another. I was also aware of my middle son being nearby and something about his presence caused me to think of my husband. My relationship with my husband was what caused me to pull back and I remember thinking and saying, “I have to end it with him”. There was such finality in what I said/thought. I also felt to be doing the right thing because I did not want to hurt him or cause him to feel betrayed by me going ahead with another relationship while still in one with him.

At this point there was a knock on the door. It was a friend. I began to busily clean up the living area, sweeping up debris and cleaning off the furniture. I moved upstairs and I overheard the Steven Carell look-alike complaining and reprimanding my son. My stomach flip flopped and I thought to myself, “There is no point in starting a new relationship. They [men] are all the same”. Yet there was recognition that the words being said, the harsh criticism coming out of his mouth, were in fact my own words.

When I went back downstairs I was questioned by my friend, “Where were you? We have been trying to find you since last night”. I realized it was already mid-morning and so I told her, “We fell asleep”. I had a worry that someone would think we had been doing something wrong but then I knew we had not.

Interpretation

When I woke from this dream I thought, “I have to leave him” but it did not scare me and now, as I think about it, I don’t think that is necessarily what the dream means. To dream that someone is a virgin denotes integrity and honesty with one’s self. It suggests that there is an “ideal” that is being sought out in a situation. In this case, within a relationship. So I am looking at what I would like to have versus what is reality. The reality being that I am not innocent in how my relationships turn out. The statement, “I have to leave him” is representative of the Old me, not my actual husband. I have to leave behind the old me, the old habits, beliefs and criticisms, in order to achieve my ideal.

The Steven Carell look-a-like was most likely a version of myself, the me I connected with in order to explore this area of my life.

When I got online to peruse the news I found this article – Heartache for Japan’s Real-Life 40-Year-Old -Virgins. It was the first article I saw and I actually laughed when I saw it.

by

Back to the Top

It has been a while since I have heard from my High Council directly. I feel them all the time now, but the direct messages slowed down substantially. I know this is because I am to focus on my life and living in the physical right now. I am practicing my new found skills of being in the present moment and being constantly tuned into my Higher Self.

Thankfully, I was told a while back that any time I wanted them all I needed to do was request them. I did this last night. I asked for them to show me what was going on; what was next. I also asked to get to practice my skills in the other realms.

Back to the Top

I was awakened early in the morning to a vision of a blue piece of paper. It had white, cursive writing on it and I was reading it aloud. As I became more conscious of it, the words disappeared and the words I was mentally speaking stopped flowing. It was like I was receiving the message, “You are not to know the content of this letter”, but I know it is not that. It is simply that the conscious mind seeks information in familiar pictures, letters, numbers, facts and figures. But when information is streaming into one’s consciousness, the information is more fluid and is not limited to human symbols and identification. So as my consciousness began to follow its human blueprint, the information I was receiving was transformed into a letter and words but even that was too limited and so it was seemingly “lost” upon becoming fully aware of it.

As soon as I was awake I heard my guide say, “You will experience a top-down kundalini activation”.

As I was not expecting this information, I thought briefly about it and then smiled to myself.

“So that is the next step?”

I received a feeling and knowingness that it was so.

I then asked, “Why? Am I starting over?”

“No, you are merely integrating the changes”, my guide responded.

I wondered, “Does this mean I will have more projections?”

The response was a memory of the my first top-down activation. I immediately remembered the sudden spiritual abilities that I became aware of that first time. Not long after, I had my first ever projection.

So, yes, there will be more projections. I was (still am) briefly worried about the reemergence of my spiritual abilities.

He then offered me more information, “It will be easy. It will be fast”.

Surprised again, I asked, “How fast is fast? A day? A week? Months?” (their idea of time is quite skewed).

He responded with, “A week”.

Wow. That is fast. But then I know not to take anything future related too seriously as so much can be adjusted based upon need. I suspect it will be a week per chakra, but then who knows. Regardless, I am ready for the ride.

Tending an Egg

I fell asleep not long after and had an in-depth dream of a wedding. My wedding. In the dream, my husband and I were renewing our vows. The scene was at my mother’s pool and I was creating the ceremony as I watched it. I chose to have us walk over the water on a platform. It was beautiful and calm and very pleasant overall. I remember seeing some dressed in shorts and thought, “How casual”.

After the ceremony we were tending to our yard – mowing, watering, etc. I went in the back and there was a large chicken coup without chickens. In front of me was a small wooden box with brown eggs in it, each gently placed upon straw. I sorted through them, putting each to my ear to listen for pecking which meant the egg was about to hatch. I found one and set it apart from the others. It had a stamp on it that said it was from a special organic farm. None of the other eggs were hatching.

I then went to the front and took down and threw away some miniature crumbling houses. Then I picked up this mechanical doll that moved on its own, singing and clapping its hands. I took the doll with me and on the way found money scattered on the sidewalk. Very prominent was a $2 bill.

I went inside to talk to my husband about the yard when behind me the door opened on its own. Startled, I looked and saw a black cat sitting at the door. I said, “He’s going to come in!” and jumped up to shut the door. Then I saw he had stolen my chicken lunch and I yelled, “He stole my chicken!”

Interpretation

I have to laugh at this odd dream a little but the symbolism is what is important. Eggs are new beginnings and I am obviously preparing for one. The wedding also symbolizes new beginnings or transitions. The taking down of the houses indicates moving on as abandoned houses represent moving on with life. The doll symbolizes the desire to be someone else and the means to act on this desire. The number 2 is a message to trust that things are going in the right direction even if things seem painfully slow. A black cat symbolizes fear of using one’s psychic abilities and/or intuition. The fact that the black cat stole my chicken, which in itself can symbolize cowardliness, seems to indicate that there is nothing to fear and in fact the fear may be devoured by the results of this ability and perception.

by

Tending House

My sleep is being interrupted again and this time I cannot return to sleep. My dreams are very involved and near lucid, making it difficult for me: 1. to forget and 2. to get a good rest.

Runaway Truck

I recall watching from above, as if viewing a movie, as a green garbage truck drove itself down a road. It then changed its mind and turned around. It did this again and again running into things in the process. I recall having a discussion with a police officer from a large city about this disturbance at the time. The feeling was that I was overseeing this small town and was being evaluated by my supervisor.

Me and my supervisor then hovered over continents of green. I had a feeling of being a traveler at this time and reviewing past travels. I do not remember all that was said but there was a mini-story in which I was with a group deciding where to go next.

I then was on land in a field of green watching my superior talking to an old woman. The old lady had Alzheimer’s and I recognized she had been the truck from before. Now she was driving an ATV amidst a field of buffalo. She accidentally ran into a cow and apologized as she returned. I watched all of this as an observer.

Interpretation

A garbage truck is a symbol of old habits that need to be “trashed”. To be a police officer represents one’s morality and conscience. Since my superior is also an officer it suggests I am being helped to follow this moral path. The Alzheimer’s woman likely symbolizes me and my “forgetfulness”. Since the woman runs into a buffalo, which symbolizes survival, strength or power, it suggests that my forgetfulness could harm my survival.

Tending House

I was watering my lawn which was dying and being overgrown by weeds. A kindly neighbor was helping me decide where to water. On one side I discovered a rocky creek with towering trees built into my yard. The trees went up so high I could not see the sky through them. I recall thinking someone had planted them all at the same time.

Inside I was rearranging furniture. I had three living areas and saw more towering trees, this time inside the house! There were people working on art projects as well. I complimented a student on his. He wheeled toward me a cart with a tray of opaque, white goo on it. They were heating it up. Another tray contained pomegranate but it looked more like circular, gel balls. I took one ball and mixed it with the goo and heated it up. I scortched it a little but then took the ball and rubbed it on my feet.

Interpretation

A house is an aspect of my subconscious. The front yard is the part of me I allow others to see. I have weeds in my yard suggesting there are things needing tending to in my life. The water is emotion and my attempt to grow positive relationships in my life. The trees represent a positive aspect of this part of me, specifically my spiritual development and focus on myself. It is the most orderly part of the yard.

Inside my house there are also trees indicating strength. Living rooms represents beliefs I have about myself and life and the barriers I put up between my public and private self. The pomegranate represents good health but also the allure and invitation of sex. The fact that I am rubbing this into my feet suggests that I am seeking to add this into my life and identity.

I felt really off when I woke up over an hour before I was suppose to. I told my guides, “If my sleep is going to keep being interrupted by these weird dreams, I would rather not remember them”. I was reminded of the time period when I did this before and how lacking I felt. I saw this truth but then also saw there was still something lacking. I recognized this “lacking” to be what is interrupting my sleep and causing me to feel disconnected from my life. I saw then the connection between my feet in the dream and my current feelings of being disconnected from my life.

Current Symptoms of the Shift

  • Interrupted sleep
  • Weird dreams
  • Shooting pain up and down right side of body (brief episodes)
  • Itchy Dry skin/acne
  • Melancholy
  • Disinterest in life
  • Aches and pains in body
  • Ringing in ears
  • Moments in life hitting me with vivid clarity/being fully Present
  • Zoning out during the day
  • Disconnected feeling
  • Thirsty
  • Nausea in morning
  • Sty in left eye
  • Restless legs/shooting pains in legs
  • Having to ground at night more often
  • Visual anomalies – lights, flashes, colors, shapes
by

Dr. Who

No this post isn’t about the television show, its about a dream. 🙂

Dr. Who

I thought I had forgotten this dream. Guess not!

The dream began in a cafeteria at a college. The tables were full of loud and talkative college students. I was with them and talking to a woman. I don’t remember all the conversations I had now, but I do recall that I was considering befriending a girl but was concerned that she was a lesbian.

I recall talking to one man in particular about how he should not drink alcohol during the day. He laughed along with his buddies and they continued to drink, sneaking it into their drinks.

At one point I was speaking to a woman about a test. She handed me the answer key and I saw the test in detail. It was fill-in-the-blank and all the blanks were filled in with the answer, “Dr. Who”. I remember thinking it odd that it said, “Dr. Who” and I pointed it out to her saying, “Did you know that it says Dr. Who in all the blanks? Shouldn’t it say Dr. Oz or Dr. Ott?” She thanked me for telling her but I stood there for some time confused about the answer, “Dr. Who”.

I then walked to class with a girl. I recall walking down large, stone stairs alongside other students and heading toward a reddish-brown brick building. I saw on the plaque the building number. It said, “3” and below the number was “Tres”. I said to my friend, “This is building 3” and she said, “Good. This is the one”.

We walked inside and it seemed more like the waiting area of a doctor’s office than a college auditorium or even a college building. There were cushy chairs placed in clusters around the room; tall, potted plants; a receptionist area; and lots of wide, open space. The color of the carpet was a golden yellow color and the furniture was a deep, warm brown color.

I instantly relaxed when I entered the room and said, “Good. This is more like it. These people are much more serious”. I remember thinking that it suited me more than the cafeteria where the students seemed disinterested in learning and more interested in staying drunk and partying non-stop. I recall thinking that they were trying to avoid life.

Reflection

When I awoke, the first thing I remembered was the odd test and “Dr. Who”. Could it be that I was discussing time travel with my guides in the dream? Or was it representative of an actual doctor because I started saying other doctor’s names? It might be since when I went to “building 3” it was more like a doctor’s office than a classroom.

I want to say the dream is attempting to help me with the questions I had prior to sleep: If I leave this job, then what? I have always known I am here to help and in the television show that is what Dr. Who was doing, too. Or maybe it is more literal and I am in the process of healing and going to the doctor as part of my learning. This could also be true since I have been digging around in my past lives lately.

by

The Daisy Room

I had that odd kind of sleep where in the midst of a dream I would suddenly wonder, “Do I have to work today? What day is it?” I would then slowly wake up out of my slumber trying to figure out what day it was and if I needed to get up early. Then I would fall back to sleep only to once again wake up within a dream from these thoughts.

I finally got up to check the time and found it was 5am. Being it was my third time to wake, I decided to try to sleep.

Snowmobile Ride

I found myself in a semi-lucid dream in which I kept trying to take over the dream. I was with my ex-husband and he was getting out a snowmobile to take me and my children in. I got in but was not excited. I held on and closed my eyes preparing for the crazy ride.

I felt myself being tossed about as we rode and then felt the snowmobile spinning really fast. I decided to open my eyes and was able to keep my baby from being tossed from the snowmobile.

At some point I became fully lucid and felt a large man in front of me. I thought it was my ex but when I opened my astral eyes to look his face was all golden light, morphing and moving. His energy was huge and surrounded me. I was not afraid, though.

I felt my root chakra activating and expanding and focused upon the feeling, willing it to move upward.

The Daisy Room

As I was trying to get the feeling to expand, I suddenly found myself standing in a store. It looked like one of those tourist shops one would find in an airport. A blonde woman was standing in front of me and chattering away. She had a golden hue about her, a huge smile on her face and was very beautiful. She was looking right at me and I was very, very aware of my surroundings and what was going on. This awareness caught me off guard and I stopped thinking about expanding the pleasant energy.

I heard her telling me that I was going to go to a place. I didn’t quite hear her well enough so I asked her, “What? Where am I going?” She replied, “You are going to the Daisy Room”. I wondered what she was talking about. What Daisy Room? What is the Daisy Room?

The woman then appeared to be talking to someone on a cell phone but I saw no phone in her hand. She said to them, “There was a scheduling error. Monday and Tuesday were wrong. She needs to…..”

I became overly aware at this time of the energy in my root expanding more and came out of the scene to full awareness in my body.

celestiaCelestia

When I awoke I immediately thought of the picture that was drawn of one of my female guides. A friend of mine had an artist do a rendering of this guide. The picture was entitled, “Celestia”, which I guess was the name given to the artist by my guide. When I saw the picture it was familiar to me and I thought of all the times I had seen a blonde woman with blonde hair cut in layers like from the 80s. She always reminded me of Jane Fonda. The woman I had just seen reminded me of her as well. Was this the same guide?

This is what was written with the drawing of my guide:

Celestia – angel of sunrise – indicates the vastness of my spiritual gifts

Brilliant energy patterns (like aurora borealis) on wings, gown – ever-changing.

Brings great strength and depth of spiritual gifts. Softness. Gentle soul.

9 crystals at throat are representative of dimensions from which info comes through (throat chakra needs empowered).

Figures around head represent souls crossed over who speak with messages of love and forgiveness.

Red “fire flames” are ascended master souls (who speak through Dayna).

Aura is fiery vibrant orange and gives power and passion.

Message Celestia brings:

To move forward face the energy. Let it swirl around you and caress you. The power of spirit is there, the power of love is there, the power of connection is there.

There is a great need to de-stress, as if standing on a mountain top and allowing wind to blow stress away.

Celestia wishes to encourage Dayna to embrace who she really is and “go higher”.

Expect children to have similar gifts!

I find it interesting the in this morning’s experience with the blonde woman that she told me I would be going to the Daisy Room. Daisy’s are symbolic of purity and innocence. It is a flower that opens up its petals in the early morning light and then closes them when the sun sets. It is the flower of Spring time and new beginnings. It’s petals also represent the rays of the sun. So, I don’t think it a coincidence that Celestia is called the “angel of sunrise” in the message attached to the drawing.

by

Abandoned Buses

I finished reading my journal last night. I read many, many entries in which my guide/Higher Self makes it clear to me why I astral project and what I am learning about myself. One of the lessons I learned was to love myself, specifically to love being WITH myself and stop seeking out another to make me whole. Another lesson was how to manifest what I wanted in life. I did both and more the following year – that year I built my house, met my current husband, got married, and got pregnant with my first child.

When I went to bed I felt I had accomplished a great deal from 2003-2007. I am proud of myself! I decided to set the intention to use future astral projections as I had been instructed time after time in my journal – to learn about myself, to heal and to help others.

Abandoned Buses

I woke up early this morning and then tried to return to sleep. I felt wonderful, so this was hard. I finally dozed off and found myself lucid laying in my bed listening to a group of people talking. I was aware that they were sitting on the bed next to me. The scene was shifting and colored with gray and white. It was like watching an old black and white television show.

I instantly knew I was “in-between” (which I now understand to be one of the lower levels of the etheric). I closed my eyes and mentally stated, “I want to astral”. As soon as I said this, I felt the subtle vibrations wash over me and then intensify in the center of my body. I knew the timing was right and I willed myself out of my body.

I immediately floated upward slightly and knew that the “people” who had just been around me talking would be gone. When I looked around, they were, of course, gone. I saw that I was in my room, the messed up covers of the bed below/next to me, and my vision was bright and clear. The room had a golden-yellow glow that seemed to radiate a soft warmth. The overall energy was nice.

I moved into the upstairs living room and paused. I remembered my decision to let my Higher Self guide me through my OBEs from now on. So I tuned into this part of me and asked, “What do you want me to do?” I heard a nearly undetectable reply, “I want you to see yourself”. I replied, “Ok”. I didn’t ask how because as soon as I wondered about it I felt I needed to pay attention to what I saw and experienced in this projection.

I leaned over the railings of the upstairs and looked down below me at the downstairs living area. I saw toys strewn all over the floor! It looked like a messed up jigsaw puzzle of toys! They were very brightly colored, too. I saw them, took note of them and knew that in waking life this mess would have made me unsettled. I decided not to let them bother me while in astral and jumped over the railings to go down stairs.

I felt my energy was low and so stated, “More energy”. The energy settled and seemed to solidify and I drifted down to the floor. I instantly went toward the kitchen to the double doors that lead outside. I don’t even recall being IN the kitchen, though. It seemed I instantly just appeared outside the house.

I do recall going through the two doors because they seemed so white and opened up by themselves. I knew as I went through them that they would lead me somewhere else, somewhere that was not my back yard.

I instantly saw green grass and as I moved along it I topped a hill. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a yellow school bus parked to my right. When I saw it I felt I should investigate but I was not interested and immediately chose to explore the hill. Over the top of the hill was this magnificent valley that stretched for miles and miles. It was vividly green with triangular shaped stones that looked like mini mountain tops scattered all across it. The sky above was blue, pink, white and yellow and reminded me of a sunrise. At first I thought they were mountains but upon further inspection they were actually small stones and the scene appeared similar to scenes I’ve seen in movies of Scotland.

Greyhound_bus_on_the_way_to_Washington-2I looked around and saw that there was a small pond that was dotted with mounds of earth as if it was low on water. I went to investigate it. I attempted to fly and found it difficult so I said, “More energy” and was able to lift up enough to fly down. When I got to the pond I saw a Greyhound bus parked seemingly IN the pond. I ignored it but did not miss the fact that it was there. I just wasn’t interested in the bus for some reason.

I got to the pond and immediately got into the water. The water was muddy and stagnant but I didn’t care. Then I took handfuls of the gritty water and washed my face with it. I could feel the sand and grit on my face and I smiled and put more on my face. I remember thinking, “Why am I doing this?” and then thinking, “Because I want to”. I tried not to over analyze it but in hindsight believe there is significance to everything in this experience.

I got up out of the water and looked up the hill. I could see a cabin hidden behind the trees and make out a parking lot and a woman walking toward the cabin. She was somewhat overweight and reminded me of the woman I saw in my OBE two days ago. I then looked toward the cabin and saw a shower out in the open. It was one of those really high tech spa showers with jets that hit your body at the top and middle. The chrome of the jets shown vividly as did the teak wood of the shower itself.

I got this ominous feeling and tried to control it. I don’t know where it came from but it hit me when I considered going up and talking to the woman. I recognized there was fear there and since it made no sense it threw me enough that I was pulled back to my body.

I again ran into a rocky reentry but it wasn’t as bad as last time. My heart was pounding again but settled down faster and I was able to move without any problem.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10pm

Time to wake: 5:30am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yes

Mood: normal

Body: Lower back and pelvic area aching

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 1

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg

by

Sea Lion

The past two mornings I have awakened hearing Mumford & Sons Little Lion Man playing in my head. Specifically the part of the chorus that goes, “I really fucked it up this time”. I do not particularly like this song so I know that it is meant as a message more than me just singing a song in my head. It has not been a nice message to wake up to. I keep wondering, “What did I mess up?”

Finding Meaning in the Present

Perhaps the song is a message from my subconscious validating the realizations I have been having lately. There are many but the most important of them, I think, is that I need to look not at my past or my future but at my present to find what it is I am looking for. It is right there in front of me, has always been, yet I never see it for thinking it must be something else.

It is like going to the pantry to find a jar of peanut butter. You look everywhere for it, even looking in places you know it would never be. But you can never find it. You become exasperated and ask someone for help. They look in the pantry and laugh. They point to it. It is right in front of you, so close it could bite you. That is what I am being told is happening to me.

Part of finding what I am looking for, that blasted jar of peanut butter hidden right in front of me, is to inspect the present moment, to be aware of the moment in the moment all the time. This is when the answers will reveal themselves. This is also where the work needs to be done for it is the present moment that I most avoid.

I have been thinking of how uncomfortable I am most often during the day, especially when I have nothing to do. I am told, “Just be” and I try and succeed most times but it seems to take a lot of work. I go through periods where I do well and then fall back into old habits and again find myself feeling that really uncomfortable feeling. It literally feels like I am uncomfortable being in my own skin. I don’t recall feeling this way in the past. I did feel anxious, but this isn’t the same feeling. This feeling is odd to me; familiar but unfamiliar. I am told I need to relax into that feeling to understand. I will try and do better at that, but so far I cannot seem to completely relax into it. It really feels not quite right.

Sea Lion

In addition to having these realizations (there are others I am not yet ready to mention), I am sleeping very deeply and waking frequently throughout the night. My dreams are odd and make no sense to me. For example, I had one dream where I was watching someone mold a person out of sand. The person looked like me, only a younger version. Last night I had another really odd one.

In the dream I was returning to my childhood home. Oddly, the new owners of the home were the new owners of the house I just sold last year. They were having a party and we arrived in the driveway. It was packed with people and I was looking around at the changes that had been made. I wandered around with my husband, looking at the old front yard and seeing a leather sofa sitting outside. It was in good condition and a nice cream color. I was shocked, commenting that it was so wasteful and wanting to take he sofa home but deciding against it. I also saw that they were painting the walls of the front yard (yeah, it had walls, weird) but had changed their mind and so there were two different colors, one on top of the other. I commented on this as well, wondering what they were doing.

We went to the old garage my dad use to keep his old Corvette in. Inside was an old Mustang that was being rebuilt. I commented that the new owner must need lots of things to keep him busy since he didn’t work. I then saw that sitting atop the Mustang was a creature. It appeared to be a mermaid or something like it. It was small, like a child, and had near mummified hands and limbs. It looked dead and we inspected it. My husband told me, “It’s a sea lion, see” and pointed to what appeared to be a golden mane down its back. I saw this and thought how odd that it was called this as it was very obviously some kind of deformed human.

I watched it intently because it intrigued me. It was disgusting but I could not stop looking at it. It’s hands were both reaching up into the air, fingers spread, and its little eyes were wide open and frozen. It appeared to be garbed in heavy cloth of some sort, which is why it seemed to have a huge mane.

Then I swear I saw its hand move. I pointed it out to my husband. It was then I saw a child with us, a small, blonde one. I ushered the child away from the sea lion and towards the house. We entered but the child would not come in. We joined the party but I kept thinking of the sea lion. I went to the door, suspicious, and saw the sea lion had walked to the entry and was standing near the door, it’s mummified hand outstretched toward me. I saw the child and was afraid for him/her (not sure on gender) but shut the door. I told the owner, “It’s alive! It’s at the door!” I felt very nervous about it being outside and alive. The owner smiled and calmly said, “It just needs attention”.

Interpretation

I am not really certain what this dream means. I believe it is likely that I was being asked to attend to a part of myself that was neglected: the sea lion. A sea lion, or seal, symbolizes playfulness and the ability to have fun and enjoy life. In other words, the inner child. The state of the sea lion suggests that this part of me has been horribly neglected. I was curious about this part of me but at the same time very cautious. I did not like that it was “alive” and there was a bit of fear and horror that came with it. Then I was told the sea lion just needed attention, so also does my inner child need attention.The blond child that was with the sea lion suggests that the inner child symbolism is accurate. I believe the setting of the dream, back in my childhood home, is also symbolic of me being urged to return to childhood innocence.

Mermaids represent femininity and so it could be that this sea lion represents my feminine side since I initially thought it was a mermaid. As I consider this, I wonder about some thing. It could be that my childhood contains something that is lost to me; a memory that I hid from myself to protect myself. This seems probable because I struggle to remember much of my childhood from around the age of 7 to 9. It is also probable that there may have been sexual abuse, though I do not remember any. My sister told me in 2003 that she was sexually abused by our neighbor. She told me I told her he had touched me inappropriately, too, but I have no memory of it. None. I do recall going into his house with my younger sister and when we got to the bedroom (we were looking for him) feeling a very bad feeling and to not go there. But that is the extent of my memories of him. So I wonder if perhaps I am being asked to look into my past and find memories buried deep. I honestly don’t think there is anything major there, but then again, who knows? We will see. If it is meant to be found, it will be.