Woke up this morning thinking about all my undefined and completely open centers. Honestly, it is very disheartening and making me a little depressed. lol I understand there is a reason for this and so I just suck it up and try not to think about it too much, but life has a way of pointing me back to this situation I have put myself in this lifetime. WTF Higher Self? It’s hard enough to live on this dang messed up Earth as a human but then to put me in a position where my aura is open to pretty much every kind of conditioning from other messed up humans, well it just isn’t fair!

Let’s look at my BodyGraph again and then I’ll go through each center – defined, undefined and open – so you can see what I mean.

Starting from the top:

Head Center – Mental pressure and inspiration; questions, doubts and confusion.

Defined – consistent mental pressure to ask and answer questions, grasp and understand things to include consciousness, fixed way of thinking, easy to inspire others and be inspired but not always able to act on it.
Undefined – inconsistent patterns of thinking, thinks of things that don’t matter, gets lost in self-talk/negative self-talk of the Not-Self.
Open – same as undefined plus unable to recognize when something is inspiring or interesting, they don’t know what to think about or what matters and doesn’t or why.

My Head Center is completely OPEN. I have never been truly inspired and never will be. Everything and everyone feels the same to me. I might find interest temporarily in something but it is usually borrowed from someone near me. I am a jack of all trades type person. All subjects in school were equal to me. I had no real favorite. If someone asked me, “What is your favorite subject?” I wouldn’t know how to answer. I have always been aware of my inability to find things interesting or inspiring and saw/see it as a defect. Why can’t I find inspiration in something? I am easily bored as a result. I don’t consistently stay with hobbies or interests. If I do, it is because the hobby or interest is agreed upon or needed by another; meaning it HELPS others. Or I do things to stay busy and keep my mind quiet. Exercise does this very well.

So sad and depressing to be the person who is boring and bored. Sigh. Yet I can pretend to have interest very well. I have learned over time how to do this. If I say I am inspired/interested it is actually because you are.

Anja Center – Mental consciousness; conceptualizing, interpreting answers or opinions, concepts and theories.

Defined – consistent conceptualization; they can conceptualize, inspire and pressure others to think; they are not easily influenced by others; they condition the mental field and the people in their aura; their minds are always ‘on’ and they find meditation difficult because they can’t stop or control their mental activity but at the same time they enjoy it.
Undefined – have an open and flexible mind, can deeply contemplate and discover the world through their intellectual gifts, ideas seem to come from “nowhere”; they pretend to be certain when they are not; they tend to pick up thoughts of others; their mind is a playground.
Open – don’t know what to think or how to interpret things; tend to feel hopeless and anxious; can find pleasure in contemplation without becoming attached to anything.

My Anja center is undefined. When the Anja is undefined so will the Head be undefined. My experiences are consistent with the description above. I can get lost in my contemplation of things. This is my never-ending thought-stream experience. I am great at being certain even though I am not. lol I get lost in my mind, my imagination and dreams. “Playground” is a great description of my mind. So far, my open Anja is a blessing.

Throat Center – Communication and manifestation; metamorphosis and transformation through interaction with the world.

Defined – if this center is connected to a motor then one can always manifest and tend to be impulsive or talk too much/not enough; if not connected to a motor then the throat speaks from the center it is connected to; overall it transmutes and directs information based upon the centers it is connected to.
Undefined – tries to attract attention; afraid of not being noticed; can become fearful of opening their mouths from years of saying the wrong things; spend lots of energy trying to figure out what to say but they cannot plan what they say with any consistency.
Open – this is rare but when it happens the person has no idea what to say or when to say it/act; tends to have delayed speech as a child, interrupts others and is easily ignored.

My Throat is defined and connected to my G-center. For me, this means I tend to speak my truth and the truth of others. I am naturally a channel. Speaking truth comes naturally and I really shine when invited by others to share my truth. I experience fulfillment through my voice but only when the other is open to receiving.

G Center – Love, identity and direction; seat of the Magnetic Monopole or Higher Self.

Defined – have a fixed and reliable self-identity, sense of being loved and loveable; they can love without becoming dependent; sense of direction and mission.
Undefined – they don’t know who they are; can fit in anywhere and be anyone; adaptable; need stable relationships to form concept of Self; tends to attract others who are complete opposite to them; they sample life paths, taking on the path of others until they find the right one.
Open – no clear personality parameters; uncertain and need others to affirm they are loveable; tend to run to others for direction.

My G-Center is defined. The most true part of the description above for me is that I do not become dependent in relationships. SO true! I can take them or leave them. I am fine to stand on my own two feet while it is often those I am in relationships with become dependent upon me. I have not always felt loveable but the key word is “consistent” here, so yes, I have always had a consistent sense of what love is and what it is to be loved.

Sacral Center – Power of fertility; vital energy, responsibility, availability, sexuality.

Defined – an enormous source of power; of most importance is finding their personal expression and satisfaction through work; the source of a Generator’s power; need to learn to trust the response of the Sacral, when it says “yes”, do it, when it says “no”, don’t do it.
Undefined – subject to elevated energy levels but are not equipped to handle it; tend to feel like slaves to others; need to rest when they feel tired but often do not; no consistent boundaries; can become obsessed with sex or just mildly curious.
Open – energy feels scattered; drawn to one thing then another and another; waits for exhaustion to overwhelm them before they rest.

As a Projector, I have an undefined Sacral. I have not had too much issue with taking in more energy than I can handle, at least not until I had 3 children. When I had child #3 I started to have to drop things from my life one-by-one in order to “free” myself (full-time work was first to go!). What I later learned is that I was not allowing myself to rest enough and so holding onto all the excess energy became too much. I got irritable mostly. I laugh about the “slave” part of the description. I haven’t used that word but I do still often say to my husband and family, “I am NOT your maid!” lol I often feel like everyone wants something from me. I give, give, give but eventually have nothing left to give. Yet my family still wants more! So I have learned to stop when I have nothing left, retreat and rest, communicate my needs and set boundaries.

Root Center – Physical adrenalized pressure; to sustain momentum for living, stress.

Defined – has a fixed and reliable method of dealing with stress; the root is defined to three centers – Sacral, Spleen and Solar Plexus – and the energy if formatted via one of these centers.
Undefined – absorbs stress from the environment; always trying to rid themselves of the pressure but more pressure come in to take its place; always in a hurry to get things done; can become hyper or restless from taking on pressure from those around them with defined Roots.
Open – operate unconsciously and hurriedly through life; are on auto-pilot; tend to get into accidents or have panic attacks. At the worse they lose their joy of being alive.

My Root is undefined. I am very familiar with the “pressure” feeling. It is hard to describe but it is like a “push” from within that says, “You need to do this now.” If I follow it I do end up very busy all day because once one thing is done, another needs to be done. Now I just tell myself, “There is no rush” and the pressure abates. I have learned to “leave it alone”. I let the house stay dirty. I ignore the dishes in the sink. I do things when I feel like doing them; when I am rested and able. Pro – I am rarely late and don’t procrastinate. 😉

The theme song for the undefined Root Center LOL:

Splenic Center – Body consciousness; full existential living, spontaneity, heath and well-being, value, immune system.

Defined – follow their instinct/intuition; alert and protected with a strong immune system; can project a sense of well-being to others; have a strong sense of existential awareness (listen to their body).
Undefined – fears are easily magnified; feel ill-equipped to survive in this world; need defined Spleenics around them to feel safe and secure; they hold onto or stay in relationships far too long, even when no longer good for them; they often feel rejected or struggle with abandonment issues; can become dependent in unhealthy ways; need to not be spontaneous but they are attracted to spontaneity.
Open – they do not know what to be afraid of and become insecure and fearful of everything; can become fearless to the point of doing risky things.

My Spleen is undefined. I do struggle with feeling safe. I think the “big, bad world” will get me all the time. lol I have had anxiety attacks because of feeling this way. I tend to stay in relationships and jobs even when they are detrimental to me. I do this out of fear of losing the security these things give me. I do often want to be spontaneous and am attracted to others who are this way but have learned to wait when it comes to the bigger spontaneous choices I may want to make. No more last-minute road trips or leaving a job before thinking it through!

Solar Plexus Center – Spirit consciousness; emotional and social awareness, passion and desire, abundance of spirit, feelings, moods, sensitivity.

Defined – know to wait through the ups and downs before making decisions but it is not easy to be patient; feelings are indicators of what to do and they are aware of the emotional cycles they go through; depth of emotion can be cultivated on any topic.
Undefined – absorbs and amplifies the emotion present in their environment (empath); can easily end up identifying with emotions that are not their own; feel emotionally out of control; tend to tip-toe around others so as to not upset them.
Open – cannot filter or connect to incoming emotional energy; tend to be confused by what they feel and don’t know how to interpret it; they don’t know what to desire, when to be sensitive or passionate or how to deal with the moods of others; often feel something is wrong with them emotionally.

I have a completely OPEN Solar Plexus. When I was young I thought something was emotionally “off” with me. I didn’t know how to process all the emotion I was feeling. I struggled to define the emotions or cope. I often felt and still feel very emotionally flat, disconnected and unsympathetic to others’ needs. In the past I have thought this meant I was a sociopath or maybe a narcissist. I know now this is not true. The emotion was just overwhelming and I shut down and compartmentalized it all to protect myself. I do not typically tip-toe around others, though, especially if I know them well and feel comfortable around them.

Heart Center – Willpower; ego and the material world.

Defined – like to be in control of their life and resources; can recognize one’s own value and tend to inflate it; make and keep promises; like to be their own boss; naturally competitive; know their own strength.
Undefined – not designed to be willful or competitive but often feel driven to find the courage to be this way; do not have the consistent energy to keep promises or persevere (willpower); tend to be over-acheivers as they try to prove themselves and try to be worthy; their lack of worth often leads to acceptance of much less than they deserve.
Open – do not know what worthiness is or feels like; waver between exaggerate self-worth and complete worthlessness; can be easily manipulated (naive) and controlled by others who promise them worthines.

My Heart Center is completely OPEN. I have had all of the experiences related to undefined and open listed above. However, when I make a promise, I tend to keep it BUT when I don’t keep a promise I am very hard on myself and/or make excuses. I have also come to make promises using specific wording so that I give myself room to fail. lol The “proving myself” theme is never-ending. Is is exhausting and I have to work hard on my self-talk in this regard. I am not there yet. I struggle with feeling good enough – pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, etc. I have always been self-conscious of my body, my looks, my face (skin specifically), hair, height, body type, etc. If it has to do with appearance I struggle with it. Somewhere along the way I was conditioned into thinking those who look good, who are pretty enough, will be accepted and loved while those who aren’t will be rejected. So messed up, right?