Tag Archives: visions

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Kundalini Dream: Merged

It has been a very long few days (or week now?) and I have been exhausted. Rather than go into details, I will just say that last night I finally got some much needed, solid sleep, and along with it a nice surprise mixed with some curious dreams.

Kundalini Dream: Merged

I was invited to a meeting with other teachers. The feeling was that they were interviewing me but also that they wanted to see my reaction to the work they were doing. I recall seeing a small group of teachers, specifically, a woman and a man but there were others there, also.

In the “interview” I was asked about various work activities. What I recall most vividly is answering a question about PTO meetings. I told them I hated PTO meetings because of the type of people who attended. I don’t remember my specific description of the people but it was not positive and I said that I never truly felt invited to participate. The male teacher was amused by my rejection of PTO groups. The woman just seemed to nod and accept my opinion.

I remember feeling an energy from the man that suggested he was attracted to me. He kept his distance but every time I looked in his direction he was staring at me and I could feel his interest. It is hard to recall his appearance but he was very tall, over 6ft, and had broad shoulders and a square jaw with light brown hair. His eyes were piercing and somewhat squinty. I think they were brown. He had this quality to his energy that oozed masculine confidence.

Then we were outside in a garden-like space. I remember seeing an elevated area. It was a small, perhaps 4’x2′, raised cement planter. In the middle was a stone with an inscription on it that reminded me of a memorial plaque. On either side were stumps where some bushes had been. I knew I was the one who created this memorial and remembered the plants had been very green and healthy. I thought, “The freeze must have killed them”, but then noticed small, green leaves sprouting from the bases of both bushes. I said, “Look! They are still alive! The freeze didn’t kill them.” 

At one point, after some more conversation, the man was standing right in front of me. He was so close that his chest touched mine. This is when his height was most noticeable because my forehead was at his collarbone.  I could feel his interest in me still but it was much stronger. I said something to him like, “Yes?”, as it felt like he wanted to say something to me. But he never spoke a word. Instead, I could feel his energy merge with my own. It was as if both his chest and mine opened up and our energies/bodies blended into one. The main chakras involved were the sacral, solar plexus and heart. Once merged, the energy grew in intensity. 

When this merge happened, there was a yellowish hue to the energy and from within it words and numbers appeared. The only bit of info I recall is the number 46, but there were several other numbers/words, and it felt like this was his response to questions I was asking. I do remember I asked him his name and his age as well as other questions. The way in which he replied was curious to me. I expected to receive a thought reply since my questions were sent as thoughts. 

Our combined energy was so intoxicating and erotic that I couldn’t help but become lucid within the experience. Sadly, it woke me up and I lay there wondering what I’d just experienced. The energy lingered for a while and I could feel energy/pressure and warmth at my third-eye.

I remember the man from my dream being present as I awoke. His energy was right in front of me and so noticeable that it was as if he were physically there with me. He said to me, “There is more where that came from.” His communication was very audible and the quality of his energy the same as it had been in the dream. When I asked who he was, he answered with, “A friend.” I looked at the clock and it was 4:30am. I asked if I could go Home and he replied, “Why would you want to do that? You are here to experience…” and a wave of bliss came over me.

I wondered what had happened in the dream and soon realized me and the man had merged energies. He said, “I looked for an opening and I dove in. You know where it [the opening] is.” With this I saw what resembled a cup within my energy body. The “cup” was located just below my heart and right above my solar plexus. When he said, “You know where it is”, I saw/felt instantly where it was and mentally nodded. I knew that he was able to “enter” (dive into the “cup”) my energy via this opening and that the merge between us commenced from that central location, spreading up and down simultaneously until it became too much and woke me up.

Dream #2

Somehow I managed to return to sleep. The man remained with me and as I fell into dreamtime, he was also there. This time, though, he was taking me on a tour of the facilities where I would be working (remember I had been interviewing for a position). The first thing I saw was a single, white door. The door had a sign on it that said, “3D”. The man seemed to be offering me an option because upon seeing the door it felt like I was being asked to make a decision to open it and walk through it. I don’t know if I did.

Then there was a cylindrical structure in the middle of a room. It was silver and seemed to be made of metal. The structure went from floor to ceiling and had many tall doors located all around it. Surrounding the structure and extending beyond my visual field I could see row upon row of hospital beds with people dressed in white linens laying in them. In front of each of these people stood another person dressed differently – in regular clothing. When approached, the people in white would come out of their bodies and their spirit would be taken into and merge with the person who came to them. I watched several of these people in white, all elderly, rise up out of their bodies and disappear into the body of another.

It felt that I was meant to see this as an explanation of something happening on Earth and that I was here to help with this. My understanding was that these people were dying and I was to assist in their transition somehow. There were thousands of people in beds – more than I could count.

My reaction to seeing all this was calm. It felt like I was being reminded and the specifics are beyond my ability to remember or make sense of as a human. I do think I was being shown this because of my constant requests to return Home. I continue to be told I “have work to do”. It feels like, perhaps, my work is behind the scenes, assisting with whatever it is I was shown.

Dream #3

I shifted away from the scene and was back a school. This time I walked in as a visitor and wore a badge. I ended up in the classroom of the male teacher from my previous dream. I watched him teach a history class. He was very good at his job. I sat in the back and every once in a while he would look in my direction.  

At one point he sent a student in my direction and I counseled her for a bit. She was not participating in class and I remember helping her by just listening and being there for her. She was complaining about history class and I remember saying, “History is nothing more than a story…” I also said something about how all she had to do was follow along and the story would do the rest. The man/teacher looked in my direction and gave me an approving nod. 

As class ended I told him he was a great teacher and then left to explore the school. It was huge with many hallways and students. I remember seeking the bathroom and finding this odd doorway with a conveyor belt that took students one-by-one up to the bathroom. Another student was waiting in line and I asked when they had updated the bathrooms. She said it had not been long. I said, “I’m not going in there”, and left. It was just too weird. 

Then I ran into an ex-student of mine. I only remember her name to be “Brittany”. She was sitting alone and upset about something. She was an overweight African American girl and when I saw her I seemed to know who she was, though I can’t place her from this lifetime. When I sat with her, she spoke to me telepathically about her upset. I only remember seeing pictures now and it seemed like her father had done something to hurt her. I hugged her close and kissed her on the cheek as I comforted her. I could feel waves of emotion come off of her as I did this and I began to cry.  

As I woke, tears still in my eyes, part of a song was on my mind – “Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out….”

Considerations

For most of the day I’ve been feeling a kind of happy, blissed-out feeling, similar to how I feel when I am falling in love. It is a nice feeling and welcomed. Whatever happened with the merge, it has stayed with me, ignited something within, and it lies simmering under the surface waiting. Waiting for what? I’m not sure but it is a familiar feeling and comes with a sense of anticipation. When I think of the feeling I think, “I’m in love with being in love.” lol So, yeah, it’s nice.

I am intrigued at the information given to me by this man, whoever he is – guide? friend? He showed me how he initiated the merge and it was very simple. He just located an opening and in he went. And the opening was so obvious. I don’t think the opening is a bad thing. It feels like a lock and key location on my energy body – I hold the lock, someone else holds the key. The location of this opening was just above the solar plexus, so not in a place any traditional chakra occupies. However, it coincides with a spot on my spine – mid-back – at which I have felt an energy enter previously many times. What was curious about the merged experience is that it never ventured into the root chakra nor above the third-eye. It was almost like we just simmered there in each other’s energy.

The dreams are curious to me, especially the one with the cylinder. It seems like the 3D door opened up into this room full of beds and I was being shown what is happening on Earth. What specific event(s) it applies to, IDK, and it did not feel ominous like some of my premonitions do. It felt like the people in beds were dying/transitioning. Honestly, I don’t know what to make of it. However, I was reminded of a dream I had a few nights ago where I was shown how each act of compassion/love helped form a grid of protection around planet Earth. I woke up crying from that one because I saw how fragile that grid really is.

The last dream felt like I was being shown my role as counselor and how I can hold space for others, taking on their pain/emotion and allowing them to feel relief, even if only for a moment. But the emotion I felt was still very real and like my own, so not a fun job if that is part of what I’m here to do.

Still feeling a bit in awe of this dream/Kundalini experience. Wow.

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Partners

This morning I transitioned from the dreamstate into the in-between. A tunnel appeared before me and within it a vision of a beautiful mountain lake. Everything had a purple/pink cast to it. The lake itself was indigo with purple and pink highlights. The sky mirrored this. The mountains were not towering high like the Rockies but subtler with varying shades of greenery. It was a peaceful, beautiful scene. I felt myself pulled into this window but my awareness peaked and so I did not go OOB.

Before I was pulled into full, waking consciousness, I found myself standing on the shore of this lake with a humanoid Being who felt very masculine to me. He towered above me, though, a good two or more feet. His form was very human-like, with broad shoulders, two arms, two legs, hands, feet and a head, but his arms were much longer than a human’s would be in proportion to his body and his head had no hair and appeared more rounded.

We stood and talked for a while. I took his hand and told him I wanted to go Home, that I disliked this human disconnect and empty feeling. I longed for the connection of Home – the love and deep friendship and peace that came with it. He acknowledged me and explained that I was here to learn, which I know already, but his explanation was more accepted than previous ones I have gotten. I understand now why I am here with more depth than ever before. It is a feeling I feel in my core and it always arises when my purpose is explored or questioned.

This masculine presence explained to me that the human experience was unique and valuable, far beyond experiences in other realities and in other bodies. This came after I requested to change bodies, to get out of this human one. I seemed to remember the freedom innate in other forms and it contrasted greatly with the human form.

Timestreams were then discussed. It was explained that though we exist in multiple dimensions simultaneously, the human Timestream is separate from the other Timestreams (his wording not mine). I saw the Timestreams. They looked like colored waves of water or streamers floating or vibrating to their own rhythm and time. Most of the colors I saw resembled the lake vision in color – purple, blue, pink. This separateness is only present in our awareness here. When we extract ourselves from the human awareness we then can travel amidst all Timestreams and select ones we wish to experience at will.

Infinity was explored as well, or Remembered is a better word. As was perfection and the paradox of being perfect Beings attempting to perfect our reaction (experiences in) to the finite, which is impossible but achievable at the same time. It seemed as though our task/purpose as infinite Beings is to attempt to create perfection out of the imperfect. The feat seems insurmountable but within I found complete understanding and acceptance. It is not the end result that is important but the path we travel to get to an end that will never come. We are Builders and Creators but destruction is inherent in the process and all results are honored for their exquisiteness as if a dessert whose every bite is savored and relished.

I was then reminded of the vision I had yesterday. I saw the Earth going dark six times, one after the other. At the time I assumed the darkness was created by a great event like an eclipse. This morning, though, I realized it was likely much simpler than that. The darkness comes every night. What I was seeing was the passage of day into night six times. So the passing of six days. The lesson was that I need to take what I am shown at face value rather than looking for some deeper meaning.

The Experiencer and the Observer

A realization I’ve been having of late has been that I am experiencing this life now in two ways simultaneously. Life is viewed/experienced both as the Experiencer and the Observer. The Experiencer is familiar because that has been the viewpoint I have taken for the majority of this lifetime. Now, however, I am aware of the Observer as a constant. I am both Experiencer and Observer and recognize the purpose of both within this human experience.

The Observer viewpoint wants only to sit back and let the Experiencer experience life. She does not wish to interfere in the daily on-goings, actions and words, routines and challenges. Her job is similar to that of a scientist who is observing a closed experiment. She jots down observations, draws conclusions and makes hypotheses. Her viewpoint is objective.

The Experiencer is human and very reactive. She is suppose to react. Her job is to play her role and provide data to the Observer for improvement in the greater game. Her viewpoint is subjective.

Being able to view my life as both, simultaneously, is strange in a sense but perfectly normal at the same time. I have been doing this the entire time but was not aware of the Objective side except occasionally through glimpses here and there.

The Objective me has been with this body the whole time. I am aware of myself as this aspect. Fully. She is patient, focused, results-oriented and detailed. She makes adjustments to the experiement that then trickle down to the Experiencer as alterations in the path. Some are major, most are minor.

Currently, as the Experiencer, I am now able to identify the feelings and intuitions I have long had in this life as my “instructions” from the Observer. Before, the identification of these intuitions were lost on me resulting in mostly confusion and tantrums/resistance/impatience. For example, currently I feel as if in a void, and though I wish to take action I feel unmotivated toward any considered changes. There are often feelings of upset, irritation and impatience surfacing as a result. The Objective me understands the void feeling as an instruction to “take no new action” and “continue on course”. This Objective side learns a great deal from these periods and makes adjustments accordingly when learning plateaus.

As a result of this perception shift there is an increase of acceptance and balance within. I always thought the goal was to be the Observer but am learning this is only partially true. The Observer has its part to play as does the Experiencer. We are partners.

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Light Show

As I attempted sleep last night I was bombarded by what appeared to be a laser light show behind closed eyelids. It was faint but it was there and it was blue. The energy shot across my line of sight and then back and then seemed to form images that would disappear as soon as they formed. The energy of this light appeared linked with my brain in some way because I could feel it in my head. It’s hard to describe but I do have one experience that is similar. A long time ago I use to take Zoloft but hated it and so stopped it suddenly. When I did this I had strange electrical “zaps” inside my head. It felt like I had been attached to a light socket or something but it was IN my head. Anyone who has suddenly stopped an antidepressant (SSRI in particular) would know the feeling. The energy in my head last light was vaguely similar. It was way less intense but a similar feeling.

I was being given a message at the time which I now do not fully remember.

Earlier in the day I received sudden messages in the form of just Knowing. I feel these messages are linked to the strange energy/light laser show because the main message was that I would be opening up from the crown again to Receive. I saw a mental image in my mind of a very large amount of light coming down into my crown chakra. The size of the crown chakra was the size of the entire top of my head! This energy shot all the way down through my body and into the ground. I was told not to fear this. Then the messages stopped just as suddenly as they came.

No strange downloads or anything thus far, but I have been very pessimistic lately. Not sure if it related or not.

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Re-Ah Ira-Ir

I awoke this morning way too early. It was 4am and I was/am sick. Hacking cough and congestion didn’t interfere with me going in-between or with the strong, loving waves of energy that entered through the center of my back and expanded throughout my body.

Pyramid Meditation Change

I have continued doing the pyramid meditation. However, the last few times I have done it, the pyramid has been pointing tip down directly at my solar plexus. This morning when I did it the pyramid went through me and stopped mid-way. Then another pyramid, this one pointing up, settled over me in the same way, centered. I was in the middle of two pyramids!

I did not understand why this was occurring and got not explanation other than it was time for this type of energy conversion. I felt into the in-between before I could get much more information.

Re-Ah Ira-Ir (Ray-Aww Ear-ra-Ear)

While in the in-between I was speaking either in a different language or a code of some sort. I kept repeating Re-Ah-Ira-Ah. I repeated it so much that it woke me up. I continued to say it, feeling the syllables as I thought them and wondering what they were all about. I finally felt I should get up and write them down.

I fell back into a dream then. In the dream I was a teacher in an unfamiliar place. All I recall now is that someone had asked me about vibrations. A student was asking how to get a girl to notice his vibration. He was going to try and influence her. I explained this could not be accomplished. He did not listen.

While he was gone, another very young student, eagerly yelled to me, “She said she liked my vibration! She told me!” I congratulated him. I remember seeing energy or vibrations at this time. It was like everyone had a specific one and some of them attracted one another.

I then went into an area where young children were being taught an activity that invovled music. I remember seeing them dancing in a circle holding hands. I also remember being close to lucidity but resisting because I was tired.

It was then I began to be taught about this language or code I had been speaking earlier. I was shown how to pronounce it and I remember speaking it very carefully and being shown the correct lettering. I also heard the word Essessani and this woke me up.

I saw my guide then and he appeared human but with minor differences. I resisted this and discussion commenced about the message I had received about preparation and what the codes meant. I knew that it was a transmission of some sort but that is all I remember now.

It was then I was told that the conflicts and changes that will occur on Earth are occurring on other planets. I was shown refugees from a planet already in the midst of a cataclysm. It appeared that they were traveling to Earth to join us. They looked human. I was told there was more than just our system being affected by these changes. It is a renewal process this entire “sector” is going through.

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Message from E’Fonin

Early this morning at 2:30ish I awakened suddenly from a deep sleep. I no longer remember the dream I was having so I suppose it is not important. However, I began to receive communication from E’Fonin immediately upon waking. Since the message was coming in strong, I actually got up and wrote it down.

Message from E’Fonin

We have awakened you to pass on valuable information and explanation pertaining to the processes you must go through.

You have eaten red meat. This is not ideal. The energetic makeup of animals is out of alignment with your own and so ingestion their meat should be avoided in order to maintain balance. It is ideal for you to consume only fruit and vegetables at this time because the animals of your time are not properly raised and their meat not properly prepared. In the past instructions were given on how to raise and prepare the meat of animals, but this information was lost over thousands of years. Your Bible is the closest record of these preparations. The “sacrifices” mentioned therein are remnants of a purification system for the cleansing of the energies of animals for safe consumption. Animals were allowed then to roam freely and only the youngest, most pure were selected for consumption. Thus, you must cleanse yourself of the energetic contaminants left behind by your recent meat consumption. As you do so, we will continue to adjust and align your energies. This must be done frequently.

It is of greatest importance that you do not consume the meat of any creature with eyes that face forward (predator). One example of this is swine. The energy of such a predatory animal is so out of balance with your own energy as to require extensive manipulation and purification in order to restore balance.

In this communication I saw visuals in my mind’s eyes that communicated much more than the words alone. I saw in my mind an image of a pig very clearly depicting the position of the eyes. In this I felt a heaviness and a lethargy. I was asked if noticed this change in my energy and I replied that I did and it became very clear to me how my own energy had changed in the two days since I began to eat more meats (chicken, beef, lamb). I also recalled the warning feeling I received at lunch yesterday when I had a Greek Gyro. I ignored it but later saw that a Falafel version had been available had I just requested it. I was most embarrassed, however, by my ingestion of two hot dogs the day before. I knew it was wrong but ignored it purposefully, justifying it by thinking, “A little won’t hurt me”.

I also saw images of a small lamb being sacrificed when E’Fonin was discussing the Bible. There was also the word, “Kosher” that came to mind. It occurred to me that the only close approximation to the proper preparation of meat was still practiced by the Jewish people. Interesting.

I asked about fish and was immediately shown the contaminant their meat contained. Apparently every biological organism on the planet is contaminated by a very heavy, sluggish energy (this includes us). Plants and grains appear to have been spared because of their reliance on the Sun for their “food” or energy. Also very interesting.

So it is back to eating only fruits and vegetables. I struggle with this because I have three children who crave meat. My consideration of this was met with the image of an egg. So eggs it is.

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New Awareness – Embracing Multiple Me’s

Last night I once again did the pyramid visualization meditation before bed. This time, however, the pyramid began to spin very quickly to the right. I did not intend this, just saw it happening. It then slowed and I began to drift into the in-between.

New Awareness

I don’t know what I did in the in-between. It is like I have amnesia. I recall pictures and conversations occurring, similar to a light dream state, but that is all. What I do remember is suddenly opening my eyes and coming back to full awareness. When I did this I felt energy come in from both my left and my right. What is crazy about this is that I recognized the energy as me. In fact, I recognized it as distinct pieces of me coming in from somewhere outside of me.

At first I was nervous about it because the energy was so intense. When it returned to me it felt like it added something to me; like I grew larger because of it, but not in a bad way. The thought crossed my mind that I had just taken on another Spirit; that Spirit was piggybacking on me. Yet there was a calmness that remained with me and those thoughts just dissolved as if they were “nothing of note”.

It was then that I Remembered, or maybe I was told and it seemed like a memory, that I had been practicing in previous nights over the last week or so how to control my energy, or “essence” may be a better word. It is complex and something far above my human comprehension, but it is something my heart understands. In fact, when I Remembered these “sessions” I felt assured that whatever I just experienced was not to be feared but to be embraced. I was re-learning an important skill that had been lost.

The feeling of being “broken up” and then reconstituted was the beginning stages of these lessons. Now instead of feeling hundreds of pieces I feel only a few. What is most interesting is that in these few I recognized them to all be me. It was like I could transfer into any of them and have a different perspective, similar to the OBE where I met myself and did exactly that.

Visions and Dreams

In my sleep and in-between states after that I received messages, some not so good by the looks of them.

Recruits

In one in-between flash of a vision, I was presented with a long list. The top of the list had the title, “Recruits”. As I read it, I woke fully from my reverie and was a bit startled. I had an instant memory of the messages I had received about there being spiritual soldiers sent to Earth to help. Was this that list of soldiers?

Burning Earth

I awoke from a disturbing semi-lucid dream. I clearly recall being embraced in silken-looking, translucent white wings or petals. They wrapped around me and I called them by a name which I cannot remember now. They were not connected to a person, but appeared to be part of a system of transport into space. In fact, I was floating in space and looking down at Earth. Except Earth was not its normal beautiful green and blue with swirls of white. No. This Earth appeared to be molten lava, a swirling mass of red and black. It was horrifying yet I was not horrified.

Rescue Capsule

I had a detailed dream in which I was a teacher with students. The students had discovered a room and gone into it without permission. I found them and went inside this room. Yet when I went inside, the room was not a room at all but a tall, cone-shaped capsule with stairs that spiraled upward. The student had gone up the stairs and I had to get them down. I explained that this capsule was only for use in emergencies. It was meant to evacuate and not a playground. I was very serious but the students were not.

I remember the capsule very clearly. It was made of a silver metal and there was paneling, some of which contained controls and buttons. I remember when I looked up the stairs that it was not time to go “up”, yet that going up those stairs meant freedom, or at least something better than what was down below.

butterflySo Many Questions

My third-eye continues to blaze, though not all day now. It seems to come on suddenly without warning, and then tones down.

There is also ear ringing that comes on suddenly as well. Last night I had ear ringing and distinctly felt the presence of Spirit to my left. She knelt down and put her hand on my left arm and asked, “Do you see me?” I told her, “No. I’m sorry. I can only feel you”. I did not try to continue the conversation for I was about to meditate and did not want the distraction.

All these strange changes and energy experiences have left me with so many questions. I don’t understand what is happening and I want to know. I ask questions in meditation and then I have the strange visions and dreams. I was told that I needed to be able to transfer 50% of myself into something, what it is I am not sure. I saw it, but forgot most of it as I became startled by it. However, this transfer of Self is why I am practicing the manipulation of my essence (can’t really adequately describe it).

I am surprised I have not convinced myself that I am crazy with all this going on. I am actually fascinated, especially by the experience I had last night of being three me’s all at once. It felt so natural and normal – yet it wasn’t, at least not to this part of me.

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Destination

In the early morning hours after once again waking at 5:30am, I found myself drifting in and out of a lucid dream. To my disappointment, each time I would begin to take control of this state I would awaken fully. This occurred about five times total before I gave up. However, I was able to gather some important data through this process which I want to share with you all.

Destination

In one instance of lucid dreaming, I found myself traveling at intense speeds in what appeared to be outer space. I could see the stars buzzing by me. They appeared as streaks of light. I felt to be moving toward a destination that I could make out just barely in the darkness. It had shape to it but appeared to be cloaked in darkness. Yet I could see its outline which was distinctly angular, like several triangles merged together. As I think back on the shape I saw, it resembled a merkaba.

As I woke from this experience, there came with me an awareness of information that had not been there before. There came a message in my mind – “You are already at your destination”. With this I knew that there were simultaneously existing states. One in which I was already at my destination, some 8 to 9 light-years away. The other in which I was still traveling, not yet where I hoped to be.

I fell into another light dream state and once again was lucid. I saw several points of light disperse and then each one exploded into more tiny lights. This occurred many, many times until the points of light were so many I was unable to keep track of them.

When I awoke I knew that each of my perceptions was much more than what they seemed. Each perception in itself was a new state, a distinct me and then each one in turn became more, expanding beyond my current state. This in itself is such a limited description of what I saw and the information I knew/know is difficult to put into words.

Image of a Being

As I continued to drift in and out of a lucid states, I was discussing many things with another person. The person was male and felt distinctly different than my normal guide. I wondered who it was and got a flash of an image. I saw a very pale face which reminded me of the young girl I saw not long ago. This face was very obviously male, with a stronger jawline, and appeared more mature. He had no hair and seemed very serious. He gave me a name but I have lost it now. It was like Morphael-Son or something like that. Definitely not a name that is of Earth.

Root Chakra Manipulation

Another odd occurrence these past few nights is a strange activation of my root chakra when I am meditating. The first time it happened I almost missed it altogether because I had gone into such a deep state of relaxation. I meditated on my third eye and heart chakra as has been my norm and had all the typical pulling and energy intensity that I have been having for weeks now. This time, however, I must have gone immediately into the in-between or even may have been OOB. I was happily enjoying the blissful energies when I suddenly had orgasmic-type sensations in my root and second chakras. They were very muted, however, and were just barely noticeable on a physical level. I actually ignored them until something brought me back to full awareness and I felt that I was nudged into remembering that it happened.

This same energy has been happening easily with me just intending it to happen. I mentioned this previously but it seems to be escalating. Most nights now I am able to get the energy levels to a pretty intense state, but nothing bliss-gasm-like.

Then this morning, as I was in the in-between having these conversations and learning, I had a moment where I was very lucid and standing in a room. Across the room was another person, I think they were male but cannot remember. They were in communication with me, but it was wordless. Instead it felt like energy and I felt that I should purposefully activate my root chakra. The root chakra began to activate intensely but I felt embarrassed for some reason, as if I did not want this other person observing this process. So I came back to full awareness. Yet when I fell back into the dream state, there I was again, fully lucid in a room standing across from this man and feeling an intense rising up of energy into my second chakra.

I again awoke and there was no residual energy except that my third eye was blazing. I recall now that the room was white but the floors were either green or lush grass. It was like I was in a field with white walls.

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RoshaiYelle

I’m not sleeping much these days. I don’t fall asleep until midnight and then I wake up around 5:30am and cannot return to sleep. I continue to hear that I no longer need as much sleep. Perhaps, but I feel like I need sleep and I like sleep, so it makes a bit grumpy to have it taken from me.

This morning when I awoke I felt calm and well rested. Despite this, I still wanted to go back to sleep. I was feeling energy sensations around my head and knew the “work” was on-going. I decided to meditate since I felt my Council close once again.

Almost as soon as I began to meditate, information came flooding in. When it came in, it sparked a memory of something that had occurred in previous nights that I had long forgotten. What I experienced was a “light code transmission”, at least that is what I recognized it to be when I saw it.

To describe it is limiting the experience of it; however, I am told my job at this current time is to report my experiences in order to help others “feel less alone in their transformation”. As I rarely hear from others experiencing what I am, I trust that there are in fact many others or there will be others that will need to know this so that they do not “fall off the deep end”.

Light Code Transmission

What I saw/experienced was a beam of golden light that seemed to shine down from above with seemingly no source whatsoever. In it, I could see strange symbols. The glimmered and were somewhat transparent yet they also had a golden hue about them. The symbols were none like I have ever seen on Earth. I saw many circles and loops along with some strange squiggly looking lines that appeared to move as they descended. I also saw many lines and zigzag patterns.

When I saw this in my memory I heard these were transmission codes, which confirmed what I originally called them. I asked if they were a language and was told, “No, they are thoughts” yet I knew the word “thought” was incorrect in its description yet it was the most precise our language could offer.

I was told I had been receiving these codes for sometime and was reminded of the symbols that had come to me back in May/June. I asked if this was what the “call” was and was told it was not, that I was called in 2003 (the year of my awakening) and that this was the month that another such call was to be put out. These “calls” are in fact transmission to the Starseeds. It is a sort of activation in that it awakens them to their true purpose, one that many are not aware of and some may outright reject.

Enter the Shadowlands

I must have drifted into the in-between because I heard very clearly the title of a book or similar. All I can recall now was the last part of the title: Enter the Shadowlands. This is because I chose not to get up and write it down. I am kicking myself for that now.

I questioned why I was receiving this information and felt I should research it further. The “shadowlands” to me feels like a dark place, one that I would not want to go. Yet I am told my “work” involves this. I have not had any luck in finding information about the shadowlands as of yet. I suspect this place to be the lower astral realms as I was reminded of my awakening in 2003 and the vision I was shown of standing between two worlds, one that was dark and one that was light. Perhaps the Earth is the shadowland?

RoshaiYelle

Falling back into my reverie I saw standing in front of me a very small being. She was pretty in her own way but very obviously not human. Her skin was a very light gray color and had a sheen about it, especially the top of her head which seemed smooth and soft. I very much wanted to touch it and see how it felt. She had very large, blue eyes but not so large as to make her look out of proportion. She almost resembled those Japanese anime cartoon characters with big eyes. She had a tiny nose and very small mouth with thin lips. She smiled at me and I felt a calmness from her, as if she were sending the message to not be afraid.

I somehow knew she was female and as if to show me this, I was drawn to look at what appeared to be earrings on her nonexistent ears. They were an emerald green color and sparkled.

As I became more aware, her image disappeared and my questions were answered as the thoughts appeared. I heard a child’s voice say to me, “Her name is RoshaiYelle (Roe – Shy – El). She is one of your guides. Yes, she is small. She stands only 4 feet 2 inches of your height”.

The image of her was so intensely ingrained in my mind that I had to draw what I saw. I am not much of an artist but I think I captured her pretty well. I wish I could add color for that would give you a better impression of how beautiful she is. There is nothing but kindness, love and understanding coming from her.

 

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The Guardians

I struggled to fall asleep last night. A song kept going through my head and it wouldn’t go away.

We all are living in a dream,
But life ain’t what it seems
Oh everything’s a mess
And all these sorrows I have seen
They lead me to believe
That everything’s a mess

The bold words were the one’s that repeated over and over.

Odd Sensations Return

I must have fallen asleep, though I don’t recall it. What I do remember is awakening very rapidly to a situation similar to the night of the 7th of October. This time, though, I was aware of a conversation taking place between another version of myself (my Higher Self?) and another individual. I don’t recall what was being said, because my focus was on the strange sensations coursing through my physical body.

The sensations were intense and focused mostly on my head, which felt to be exploding with energy from my third eye. The typically circular area of energy that is normally my third chakra was a gaping hole almost the size of the entire front of my face! In addition to this strange, gaping hole of energy was a strange sensation on the back top of my head. The energy felt to be pulling and going out instead of into my head. It was not painful, but close and I could feel a slight headache beginning.

My heart was doing something odd. It was a feeling I have never experienced and my heart was flip-flopping around in my  chest in an irregular pattern. There was also a feeling of energy escaping, or maybe it was being sucked out of me. I remember thinking I was going to die.

This concern, of course, panicked me and brought me to full awareness but not before I recognized what was happening. The conversation, which had been going on while I was become more and more aware of what was happening, had given me enough information and I remembered it.

Understanding

As soon as I awoke the sensations in my body diminished substantially (thank goodness!). Energy was still coursing through my head. It was similar to the “wide open”, receptive feeling I use to get with a “download” except that the intensity was much more and the energy seemed to be both coming in and going out. It was the outflow of energy that was the most uncomfortable, though.

There was instant understanding of what had just been discussed. I remember distinctly hearing the other Me talking with a guide. This other Me is the Me who came through in May, the Me who Remembers her Starseed origins along with so much more knowledge. I heard her talking about me, using the pronoun “she” instead of “I”. I felt like a child whose parents were discussing her.

With this realization came also the understanding of what all this strange new, scary energy was. I knew it was the exchange taking place. The Old me was leaving and the New me was taking her place. It was/is the dissolution of the Ego and I was/am being witness to it.

It scared/scares the shit out of me!

I sent out a plea for help to my Higher Self and the group of guides with her. Again I said, “Help me”.

I wondered aloud, “Am I going to die? Am I going to remember any of this?” along with several other questions I don’t remember now.

I heard in response that this was a death but not one in which I would be “gone” or “lost”. I was told, “You have asked to be witness to this. You will Remember”.

I didn’t/don’t know whether to feel violated or relieved. A part of me felt very violated, and I withdrew from it and did not want to witness it. I asked to go to sleep. “Please. I just want to sleep. I would rather not remember this”.

The Guardians

The sensations in my head were so intense that it caused me to want to retreat from whatever was happening even more. But no matter how I tried, the sensations would not cease and I felt very much like a scared little girl hiding in the corner of her room waiting for the storm to pass.

I was asked to lay on my back. I knew why. It aids the process. I told them, “No. It makes it worse. I don’t want to feel it”. I continued to lay on my side but eventually conceded and rolled onto my back. The sensations decreased significantly.

I was reminded to focus on my heart center and I did. It calmed me down.

I was reminded of the other me, the New me, and the knowledge she gave me back in May. I understood. This was/is not a bad thing. This was/is a good thing. I wondered why she had not presented herself like last time. I heard, “We are merged now” and understood this to mean that the experience was now a joint one.

But the fearful part of me did not want to let go. She was terrified. Thankfully, I was/am able to control her. I remember hearing, “Fear is interfering. You must use what you have learned. Be the observer”. I settled into my heart space.

It was then that I was able to ask the group of 13 (there were 12 plus one guide), “Who are you?”

I heard in response, “We are the Guardians”. There was complete understanding that this process I was going through was necessary. That I was being prepared. I understood who these Guardians were/are. They have been watching over Earth for millions, maybe even billions of years. I asked what their job was, and I saw they were Protectors, keeping watch over the Earth and its inhabitants, inhabitants that have come and gone many times. They only interfere when absolutely necessary. It was time for such interference.

I lost touch with my heart at this time as I began to reject the information I was receiving. The Knowingness was intense and very scary. I did not want to hear it.

I once again said, “I just want to go to sleep”. I looked at the clock. It was 11:30pm.

Domed Lights

I must have fallen asleep or gone in-between because I was then aware of visions of very odd things. I saw what I think is another Earth-like planet. I saw very distinct domes of light settle down over the ground. They were yellowish-white in color and pulsated. I was aware that there was another dome of light and it came towards the one on the ground. The touched and merged, exchanging energy, becoming one.

I awakened from this with an acknowledgment that these two “lights” were somehow linked to the two parts of “me”, though there was also a link to the two parts of “mankind”, as if another piece of mankind was to be reunited with him and once merged they could be whole again. I could be whole again.

I felt back into the in-between and both saw and heard the number 529.

Losing Dreams

The last thing I remember is thinking I should write all this down. The next thing I know I was waking up at 5:30 and could not return to sleep. I heard the Imagine Dragons song again. I tried to recall my dreams, but my mind was a blank. I recall only that I was discussing something in a space filled with golden light. I recall seeing beings that were taller than I and wearing white. I also recall seeing one being that was outlined in a dark shadow and seeing him made me fearful. In this I was reminded of just how powerful fear can be and to be wary of it.

I am not even sure this part was a dream as I was very tired. I wanted to return to sleep but could not. I keep being reminded, “You don’t need sleep”. So frustrating!

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Breathing in Light

After asking to lucid dream, I drifted off into semi-lucid states where I would be in a dream state and then shift into full lucidity. This happened more times that I can count so I will relate what little I can remember.

I recall hearing music and talking with someone in the in-between. As I listened, a dream took form and I took part in it knowing I was dreaming but not attempting to take control of it.

In one instance I was shifting in and out of my physical body. It was as if I were being shown how to easily move from one state into another. I have had this happen previously but in the past it was more like I was being pushed into these other states rather than doing it on my own. This time, however, I was aware of my ability to do this and was quite comfortable with it.

I shifted into a scene where I was inside a dark hallway with a staircase. I hid behind the staircase as I observed an individual who was to take me somewhere. I was not fully lucid here and felt a strange apprehension about where this man was going to take me.

I shifted back into my body and felt the familiar vibrations that indicated I was superimposed over my body. I felt I should focus on how my body felt and so I did. I scanned it for energy inconsistencies but found none other than a few slight pools of energy in a few areas.

I shifted back into a dream scene. This time I was in a car heading toward a church. I decided to go into the parking lot and heard someone honk at me. Looking to see who it was, I saw a man shaking his fist at me. I thought, “How angry these church people are”.

A person ushered me into the parking lot and I waited. While inside the vehicle and became very lucid and began to sing a song by Pink. I heard myself singing and felt my vibration raise. I asked aloud about the car I was in, “Why am I seeing the inside of this car all the time?” The dashboard was completely black with all kinds of unfamiliar buttons and knobs on it. It resembled the inside of a plane more than a vehicle and it was very familiar to me.

I then became apprehensive again, but I’m not sure why. I returned consciousness to my body and felt again that I should shift my focus. I shifted it back and forth between states and felt an odd energy in my body that was strangely familiar.

For some reason I began to take huge breaths of air and then I would hold them in and exhale slowly. When I did this I felt I was breathing in energy. The sensation of it was so amazing! My astral lungs filled with large amounts of pleasant, alive energy. It was as if I were breathing in Light!

I took several of these breaths of energy, relishing in the feeling. Each breath built on the last. I felt to be glowing and expanding. The energy was alive!

I knew that if I continued to breathe in this energy that I would go somewhere else, somewhere not of this world, somewhere higher in vibration. Home.

I took another deep breath and the energy came pouring in with greater intensity. I began to get excited as I felt my energy body pulsate and shake. I knew my astral body would break apart. I knew it was dissolving. I knew I was approaching a momentous breakthrough!

And I was ready, oh so ready! I let go entirely, accepting in all the Light with open arms.

Then I slipped back down into my physical body, the energy dissipating instantly.

I was not disappointed. I was comfortable and satisfied.