Daily Archives: January 31, 2015

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Ascension Symptom Update

Just a quick symptom update.

Current Ascension Symptoms

  • Loud ringing in my ears that eventually goes away
  • Deep sleep
  • Lack of OBEs and lucid dreams
  • Numbness, usually in hands and/or legs
  • Itchy, dry skin
  • Rash on lower legs
  • Restlessness
  • Energy fluctuations
  • Trapped energy
  • Burning sensation on surface of skin
  • Allergic reaction (skin)
  • Intensity of physical body sensations
  • Feeling disconnected from the physical human form

The ringing in my ears has been on and off. One day I had the ringing very loudly in my left ear that lasted for quite some time. The next day at approximately the same time my right ear did the same thing. Then the next night I had the intense influx of energy that made both my ears ring and clog up similar to a very high pressure sensation. I suspect this particular incident may have been Spirit merging with me that caused the high pressure feeling from within as the energy moved in from the right and then exited from the left. It left behind energy, though, which I then had to push down and out my legs.

I still mostly get the numbness in my hands and it goes away pretty easily. I have been feeling restless in my legs, like there is trapped energy there. I have moved the energy out and it helped but last night the trapped energy feeling was so intense that I could not move it out and had to lay on my side to alleviate it. When I questioned why this was happening I was shown energy coming in through my crown and stopping in the middle around my solar plexus. I also saw energy moving up from my root chakra but then the flow was blocked at my sacral plexus. So, the energy is not able to fully circulate as it is suppose to.

I have also noticed a little thing that I feel is much bigger than it may seem. I have been focusing a lot on my sense of feeling. Not only am I experiencing odd sensations on the surface of my skin – numbness, tingling, burning – but everything feels more intensely.  For example, while walking from one building to another at work I walk across this gravel surface. As I walked I was keenly aware of the rocks crushing beneath my feet and it gave me a little chuckle. I could feel the change of positioning the rocks created as my foot moved across them and it thrilled me. I have also noticed that when I am touched it feels extremely sensitive, more so than usual. I wonder if this has anything to do with the skin changes I have been experiencing?

Finally, I have been experiencing what I can only call a “disconnect” from the human form. I no longer really care that much about how I look. I don’t wear makeup when I go out of the house (except to work). This is very out of character for me! I have been forgetting to take showers (I know, gross!). One day I forgot after four days! The hair on my legs was like a forest. EEK! I am also highly intrigued by the body at the same time. I spend a lot of time just observing the different shapes the human form can take. For example, while observing my daughter in gymnastics, I kept focusing upon the human form and all the differences, admiring it in a way I normally wouldn’t. I briefly wondered if this was how Spirit sees the human form? Am I being shown this to remind me that I am NOT my body?

Edit: While typing this, I began to have an allergic reaction again. I don’t know what to, but my ears, face, neck and shoulders are burning and hot and I am getting a rash as well. Just like last time. Benadryl to the rescue. 😦

Sudden Urges

Along with the above symptoms, I am getting tons of ideas and thoughts and a strong desire to not only write them down but also speak about them. I am so busy, though, that I do not get enough time to write them down and when I finally sit down at the computer to write I feel like I need to be “prompted”. What I mean by this, is I feel like I need someone to ask me questions in order for me to say what needs to be said. This is very frustrating for me because I do not talk to people who are experiencing what I am experiencing. I communicate with them via FB or my blog, but that is it. In fact, I know no one close to me who is going through what I am going through. Yet what I am feeling needs to happen is for me to be prompted into action in order for what I am feeling inside, this welling up of information, to come out. And I hear one of my guides say, “That’s quite a conundrum”. I think one of my guide thinks this is funny. Poo!

Since I cannot find the prompting that is needed, I will just write some of the ideas that have been coming to me. I am not sure yet what I will do with them, but at least I can free my mind of them for the time being:

  • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and trauma
  • Reiki and other forms of healing on the sick and elderly
  • Reiki and other healing modalities to transition an individual to the Other Side; releasing fear of death
  • Video taping myself (talking about what I don’t know)
  • Children and ascension

I know I am missing some of the topics that have crossed my mind this week, but oh well. They will come to me if needed.

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Fishing Cats

My second chakra is once again blocked and this time it seems much more severe. I had hoped that with my success at unblocking it not long ago that it would remain that way, but I guess not.

What Does a Second Chakra Blockage Look Like?

Emotional Disconnection or Lack of Emotion. If the second chakra is blocked then there will be difficulty feeling and expressing emotion. The source of this could be some kind of trauma from our past, childhood conditioning or just from the  fear of worrying what others will think of us if we show emotion.

Difficulty with or Resistance to Change. The second chakra is also linked with the ability to adapt to change or new situations. The second chakra is the root of emotional and mental flow. When we are feeling forced into a corner by life, we may shut down mentally or try to control the situation by trying to push people and events into a more comfortable mold.

Difficulty Enjoying Sex or Sensual Experience. The second chakra is also connected to enjoyment of the senses and of sex. When it is blocked we may find it difficult to enjoy sex, withdraw from intimate situations or find any sensual experience uncomfortable or less enjoyable. This may or may not result is lack of enjoyment of the physical act of sex (inability to achieve orgasm, less fulfilling orgasm, pain during sex, fertility problems, etc.).

Trouble with Problem Solving using Creativity. The second chakra is also linked to our creative ability which is an inherent part of problem solving. This chakra allows us to think outside to box and see possibilities in life. It is the heart of inspiration in the individual.

Why is This Important?

The second chakra is our sensual link to the physical. It allows us to experience life via the senses – the pure joy and wonder of the physical world. The second chakra also allows us to create from emotion rather than thought and gives us spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy. This allows us to establish a deeper connection with others. In other words, the second chakra is our passion.

Passion, which often is immediately connected to all things related to sex, is also how we open up to Source and that deeper sense of Self. This kind of passion is not connected to the Ego Self but to the Higher Self and is about being a conduit for something much larger than ourselves. It is only with passion that we can create something new and wonderful in the world. It is passion that allows us to bring change to the world. When we have this kind of passion it is a sign that we have gotten out of our own way.

My Experience

For a while I have experienced a gradual shutting down of my second chakra. This is often most obvious to me anytime my husband and I are intimate. I just have no interest at all and often I actually push him away. When I do allow intimacy, I flinch at his touch and find myself mentally blocked to any pleasure sensation. I am tense and refuse to relax. I find certain smells repulsive. It is like I am being touched by a rapist or something! I do not get this way with my children, thankfully.

I am also very ridged toward new experiences in life. Anything not in my normal routine is questioned and sometimes vehemently protested (this especially when my husband suggests something). I have been doing better at this and allowing myself to do things out of the norm. I notice almost immediate relief when I do this.

Emotionally I am on and off depending on the situation. I don’t feel devoid of emotion like I use to. The numbness is gone. I am grateful that I at least have some emotional fluidity still. This indicates that my second chakra is not completely blocked but it sure feels like it!

Beside the physical symptoms of blockage, I also am aware of the energy itself. Whenever I have a surge of feeling or pleasure it stops abruptly at my second chakra. Sometimes I even experience a twinge of pain in my second chakra. The blockage is so very obvious that I cannot help but notice it. Unfortunately, I do not know what to do about it.

Dream: Fishing Cats

I went to bed very disturbed by my lack of ability to experience any kind of pleasure in life. I asked what I could do about it and my guide told me I was already doing it. I sighed because I honestly don’t know what I am doing other than asking that it be fixed. Perhaps that is enough?

I had several very vivid dreams last night but will only recount the one that is directly related to the second chakra.

In the dream I was walking along a creek in the woods talking to man about the creek and how it should have a pond dug into it so fish could live there. Not long after I said this, I saw a small pond and upon closer inspection saw a fish swimming in it. I was able to look under water at the fish in more detail and it had large, flowing fins and was gray in color. I was delighted!

I then saw from below the water several cats of various colors pacing along the rim of the pond. One jumped in and tried to catch the fish I was watching. He missed. I moved my vision to above the water and saw all of the cats were doing the same. They were fishing!

At first I was worried about the cats as some seemed mean but eventually I began to like them and watched them with interest as they tried, and failed, to catch fish.

Somehow the dream ended with a sexual encounter but there was absolutely no enjoyment in the encounter.

This dream is very interesting because it again has cats in it but this time I am pretty confident that these cats represent femininity and sexual fulfillment and enjoyment. Fish are ideas and since the cats were fishing, it was representative of my concerns about my second chakra (the cats) and looking for solutions (fishing). The sexual encounter in the end sums up the dream’s point: exploration of my concerns about my second chakra.

angeldevilFeelings

After weeks of waking up in a pretty good mood I awoke this morning in a very sour one. I was immediately angry at my husband and I have already had to take a walk to help ease the upset I have been feeling. It is a swirl of negative emotion that seemed to come out of nowhere but I have linked it directly to my dreams and frustrations.

I feel like something is very wrong with me and that it is somehow all my husband’s fault. This is totally untrue and i recognize this, but I still FEEL it! All of the resentment I have ever had towards him seems to be seething out of me, oozing through my pores and making me a general grumpy person today. Thankfully the walk I went on helped dissipate these feelings somewhat, or at least I was able to make more sense out of them.

A memory came to me from out of nowhere while I was on the walk. It was from about two years ago, prior to when I became pregnant with my youngest.

At the time I had stopped by Walgreens on my way home from work to pick something up. As I was leaving the store I felt eyes on me (you know the feeling that someone is watching you?). I turned and there was a man in his car to my right. He had just pulled into the store. He was staring directly at me with these intense brown eyes. When I turned to look at him our eyes locked. It was only briefly but that was all it took. I was hit with complete recognition of him yet I had no idea who he was!

Ashamed but not sure why, I turned and pretended to look down at something in my car. I was completely frozen, though, and so did nothing pretty convincingly. My heart was pounding and I didn’t know why and all I kept saying to myself, “Don’t look at him. Don’t look up.” I became unfrozen so turned on my car and put it into gear. All the while I could feel his eyes still on me. Why was he doing that!? Why wouldn’t he stop!? I peeked out of the corner of my eye and saw him still there. I saw enough to remember what he looks like even now. He appeared to be about my age, maybe a few years younger. He had brown hair that was long and wavy and came to just above his shoulders. He had one section tucked behind his ear.

I left the parking lot wondering who the man was and considered several times that I should go back and talk to him to find out. I was terrified to do that, though. I still am not sure why. Perhaps I was scared that we had a connection that I would not be able to resist? Yes, I think that was it. I know it was. In fact, I remember thinking that I had just passed up an opportunity; a fling or an affair or whatever you want to call it. Part of me desperately wanted to turn back around but another part of me, the stronger part, did not allow this.

This memory came to me with emotional intensity. I quickly pushed the emotion down. Swallowed it hard. When I did that I walked passed two men in the front of a house. One turned and looked at me a long, long time. I said hello and he responded in kind and turned back around. I kept walking and then he turned around and stared at me again. I felt uncomfortable. DejaVu. And I silently wondered to myself, “What the hell is he looking at?!” LOL I laugh about it now but at the time I really was wondering if I have some kind of sign on my forehead that says, “Stare at her until she screams”.

I wonder now if the recollection of that memory is the key to my second chakra blockages. It likely is I just don’t know how yet. I dread, and I mead D.R.E.A.D. something like that happening again. It terrifies me. I know it shouldn’t, but it does. I think it scares me because I know that I will not allow anything to come of it. The classic Devil and Angel on the shoulder scenario but I honestly don’t know which is which in this case.