January 11, 2015 by Dayna

Answers

I am learning very quickly that my questions and desires are quickly addressed if I voice them. I have been testing this by asking for what I want prior to bed in order to see if my dreams or my guides provide me with insight or an outright answer. So far, it has been working well, though I do not always like the answers I receive.

Last night I asked this: Help me figure out what to do. This is in regards to me wanting to go in a different direction in life and not really knowing where to start. I ended up having a very detailed dream in which I was invited to Phoenix to attend a DoTERRA business meeting with the group of mostly women. The month of August was very prominent in the dream, specifically the 28th. There was also a message about the energy being odd and chaotic.

When I awoke I immediately rejected the answer I assumed the dream gave me – to put energy into selling DoTERRA essential oils. I rejected it only because I have no faith in my ability as a sales person. I do not have an issue with teaching classes or talking to people interested in the products who approach me as I have found the products essential in my daily life.

After a bit of upset I finally accepted that I was open to this possibility manifesting in my life. We will see where it leads.

Tantrums Work!

After waking for the second time and knowing it was an ideal time to try to astral, I requested of my guides the opportunity to astral. When I received the answer that I needed to focus on living life more and so astral was not recommended I got upset. I finally began mentally pouting to my guides, explaining that I had nothing exciting going on in my life and that astral was my only recreation. How dare they keep me from it! I am sure I sounded very juvenile but I was desperate. I am so accustomed to getting to astral more than once a week that this dry period has been very depressing for me.

OBE #1

I don’t know how long I complained but I must have fallen asleep doing it because I found myself on a road watching a little red car zooming about. It looked identical from the front to the back, like the sides mirrored each other. Another car, a big, tan pick-up came around the corner and hit it. The little car went after it and I watched from above.

I recall thinking at some point that I was tired of the dream. It was then that I realized I could take it over. Immediately my vision became crystal clear and I recognized where I was. I was on the road below my mother’s house, a road I am very familiar with. I looked up and around and the trees and grass were bright green as if it were Spring. The road glistened and I inspected the tiny pebbles it was made up and reminisced about how fond I had been of running on this route the many years I lived on it. The colors and sensations were extremely strong and the memories seemed to propel me into a higher state of awareness. I felt my body buzzing and knew I had entered astral.

That instant the scene changed and I was standing inside a house listening to children’s voices. I knew they were my children and I wondered if they were my children in real time. I wanted badly to visit them and see if they would notice me, so I headed toward the kitchen. I was distracted for a moment by the bathroom, knowing there was a mirror inside. So, I stopped in and took a good look at myself.

What I saw was me, only I looked tired and old. Really, I looked much like I do in reality. My hair was cropped short and my face was blotchy. I did not try to change the way I looked, instead I said to myself several times, “I like what I look like”. As I did, I smiled at my reflection as it shimmered and shifted but remained the same.

Satisfied, I left the bathroom and went into the kitchen. There I found my whole family. The kitchen was not mine, though. It was brightly lit and the scene was very shimmery and dream-like. This didn’t bother me. I greeted my husband by hugging him and kissing him. This surprised him as I don’t normally do this. I saw my middle son sitting on the counter. I knew they were cooking breakfast. I felt joy at being there, happy to be with my family.

I hugged my husband from behind as we looked out the glass door at the bright Spring day beyond it. I became sexual with him, grabbing his behind and then reaching lower. What was weird is he had female parts. This confused me and I felt myself leave the scene and settle back into my body.

OBE #2

I willed myself back. I did not want it to end. I immediately felt myself to be in the void. I could not see anything, which is unusual as I typically see something. I felt myself weightless and tried to imagine the scene before me because I did not want to stay in the void. I threw myself forward toward an imaginary window and then out of it. As I flew out I thought I felt a large knob touch me. I knew it was a tuba, but am not sure how I knew that. I imagined that I had flown into the middle of a parade with a marching band. I thought for sure someone was there and willed them to be, but no one touched me. I was of high spirits, though, and enjoyed the floaty feeling I had. Unfortunately, I soon felt myself back in my body.

All this happened while I was OOB but I never once saw anything and it appeared that it was all made up by me to try and force an experience to occur.

OBE #3

I again willed myself back OOB. I actually said, “I want to go OOB again” to my guides.

Again I found myself in the void and could not see or sense anything around me. I felt low energy and thought I must be in the etheric but then I wondered, “Why could I not see anything?” Usually I at least have mental vision and can touch things. None of that was available to me here. This had to be the void.

I began to sing to myself, “I can see. I can see. I can see” and allowed myself to float around in the void while singing. I stopped focusing on my vision and just let myself sing, occasionally checking my vision to note any changes.

Finally, I checked and saw the familiar black and white blurry vision that is common for me. I ignored it, continuing to sing, “I can see” and focusing on the song. When I checked back the black and white vanished and a brilliant scene flooded my astral eyes. I was hovering in a park. In the center was a broad walkway made of a deep rusty orange color. The sky was a vivid blue and the brightest green trees I have ever seen arched over the walkway nearly covering the sky. They swayed with a light breeze and the feeling of the place was complete comfort and peace.

My eyes stopped on a young blonde boy sitting in the middle of the walkway. I thought at first he was my middle son but upon closer inspection he was not as his face was much thinner and angular. He was only two years old, maybe younger, and playing with his feet. I approached him and asked him, “Did you hurt you foot?” He did not look up and I got a closer look at his foot. His skin appeared to sparkle as if made up of a million tiny diamonds. He was absolutely beautiful!

I was distracted by movement in front of me. I saw a little boy flying toward me. I recognized him instantly as my middle son. He said to me, “He didn’t hurt his foot”. I was taken aback by this as he was flying and so vividly clear that he must be real. And there was no doubt to me that it was my son. Before I could respond to him or to the strangeness of what was happening, the scene vanished and I came back to my body.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: Midnight

Time to wake: 8:30am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yes

Mood: depressed

Body: normal

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 3

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Mineral supplement, Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg

January 10, 2015 by Dayna

Cancelled

It has been a while since I have gotten any direct messages from my guides. It has almost felt as if I had been abandoned, though I know this is never the case. The entourage of 10 or 12 assistants/guides that have been with me since before December 12th recently dwindled back down to my normal 4, or my Team as I call them. Last night, however, the number increased back to 10. So, I suppose it should not have been a surprise that a message came soon after.

Becoming a Man

I had some odd dreams again and feel the need to include them since they came before the messages I received.

The first dream I recall is being with a tall, strong man. I don’t remember what he looked like, just the way he felt. His energy felt very large compared to mine and it surrounded me protectively, almost like a parent keeping an eye on their child.

We were talking about my need to pass as a man and I was being directed to pick out appropriate clothing at a store. I selected a large sweatshirt and jeans but when I put them on they were way too big. This I knew would be the case and I told my guide, “I told you they would be too big”. I then selected a medium sized shirt and pants and the same occurred. I remember thinking there was no way I would pass as a man. I was just too small. I told my guide that even a mens size small would be large on me. I never did try on the smallest size but instead thought about how tiny my female frame was and how difficult it would be to pass as a man.

Montana

The next dream I had was of being in Montana. Initially, I was in a store with my son. He had just woken up and was very hungry and grumpy. I walked along the isles looking specifically for an Odwalla drink, the green one, but I could not find one. Eventually I asked for help and the lady began to look up the drink on the computer while he associate gave my son a tiny pizza to make him happy. I accidentally dropped the pizza on the floor and picked it up while thanking the man. I never did get my drink.

When we left we traveled a wide dirt road. We encountered a group of men and one was carrying over the top of his head a large cow. It was wrapped up and huge and I remarked how I could never carry a cow that large but that I had cow tied one when I was small. Another man was there and took an interest, inquiring about where I was from. He was tall with blond hair and a rugged appearance.

He walked with me toward our land through the mountain passage. Somehow we ended up in his house. I became uncomfortable because I knew he was trying to distract me from going home. He took me into a room and asked me how I liked the house. I told him it was nice but I needed to get home. He then came closer and began to kiss me. I recall that he had slobbery kisses and the taste was not pleasant. I withdrew from him pointing to my daughter who was sleeping in my arms (she is six so she was very big and I was holding her). He accepted this excuse but I was very uncomfortable by then and just wanted to get home.

Another man was there and they both questioned me about where we lived. I described it and they got out a map asking me to show where it was. I explained the property had been subdivided and showed where it was. The blonde man called to inquire about it and I remember him saying, “No, we are 1 and 2 not 3”. I recall wondering what he was talking about and recalling that our land was not in Montana but much farther south. I then asked my Mom, who was suddenly there with me, if she remembered the exit to our land. She nodded and said she did and I saw it in my mind, a tiny side road hidden in brush along the main route.

Disassembling Skeletons

I immediately found myself in a dream where I was standing in front of large animal skeletons. My job was to disassemble them. I took apart large bones, realizing they were cow bones or bones of a similar large animal. After I took off a bone I placed it in a simple white bag to be stored. I noticed that some of the bones had metal loops and screws in them where they were connected.

Symbolism of the above dreams:

Cow – symbolizes one’s docile nature; maternal instincts. The cow was bound in one dream suggesting a rejection of these qualities in myself. The bones of a cow suggest a lack of motherly emotions.

Shopping – represents one’s needs and desires. There is a selection process going on – choices being made or inspected.

Property – symbolizes feeling unstable in life; can also represent one’s current status in life. Since the property was broken up it may represent my feeling of being broken up in life.

Montana/mountains – represent determination and ambition as well as the higher spiritual realms. For me, I have actually lived in Montana so there may still remain some aspects from that time in my life that need to be addressed.

Messages

Upon waking from the last dream I saw in front of me a message being written. It was in glowing green letters and moved as if someone were writing it as I was reading it. It read:

“……has been cancelled……..”.

There was more to the sentence but I cannot remember the beginning or the end. The words disappeared as I recognized the word cancelled. I immediately wondered what it meant. I asked but received no answer. I understood it to mean that some plan or karmic debt had been cancelled or erased. I would no longer be addressing it in this life.

It appears that again some changes have been made to my plan. I did not feel good or bad with the receiving of this information. If anything, I felt a bit concerned. I asked if it meant my transformation would end. I was told, “No”, very firmly.

I fell back into the in-between state and found myself speaking to my guide. I got the same strong, protective and large feeling from his energy. He was standing and passing out something. He handed over to me a parcel of land. I saw a chunk of land broken off from a large piece and then it was passed over to me. It reminded me of a board game. The land was brown and two dimensional. Then gave me a set of golden keys. He said to me, “We will be here to help you”.

I immediately came out of my revere wondering what it meant. Why was he giving me keys to land? Was I going to get land? A house? I immediately thought it must be symbolic.

The symbolism of being given property and the feeling it gave me when I saw it was that a big change would occur in my life, one that separated me from my family in some way. The keys that come with it are gold and the symbolic meaning of this is that I will need to be adaptable to the changes but they will bring with them new opportunity and possibilities related to wealth and status.

I also heard the song Riptide by Vance Joy but only this part:

I just wanna, I just wanna know
If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay
I just gotta, I just gotta know
I can’t have it, I can’t have it any other way

Except I was singing the lyrics differently in my head. I was saying, “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna go. I just wanna, I just wanna stay”. I was hearing this more than singing it and it hung around in my head until I got out of bed.

Considerations

I went to bed last night feeling very odd. I have been feeling it a lot lately. I am having trouble seeing my life ahead. There is nothing there. No plans. No change. No feeling. I feel done with life and I don’t look forward to much of anything anymore. The same feeling of not enjoying anything that I use to enjoy has come back and it bothers me. I can’t seem to change it, either. So I asked for help. I guess that is why I got those messages. I am receiving that help, was told as much, but there is so much information missing. I just hope it is not anything bad. I don’t think I can handle anything bad. I need good things to happen now, not bad things.

January 9, 2015 by Dayna

Sea Lion

The past two mornings I have awakened hearing Mumford & Sons Little Lion Man playing in my head. Specifically the part of the chorus that goes, “I really fucked it up this time”. I do not particularly like this song so I know that it is meant as a message more than me just singing a song in my head. It has not been a nice message to wake up to. I keep wondering, “What did I mess up?”

Finding Meaning in the Present

Perhaps the song is a message from my subconscious validating the realizations I have been having lately. There are many but the most important of them, I think, is that I need to look not at my past or my future but at my present to find what it is I am looking for. It is right there in front of me, has always been, yet I never see it for thinking it must be something else.

It is like going to the pantry to find a jar of peanut butter. You look everywhere for it, even looking in places you know it would never be. But you can never find it. You become exasperated and ask someone for help. They look in the pantry and laugh. They point to it. It is right in front of you, so close it could bite you. That is what I am being told is happening to me.

Part of finding what I am looking for, that blasted jar of peanut butter hidden right in front of me, is to inspect the present moment, to be aware of the moment in the moment all the time. This is when the answers will reveal themselves. This is also where the work needs to be done for it is the present moment that I most avoid.

I have been thinking of how uncomfortable I am most often during the day, especially when I have nothing to do. I am told, “Just be” and I try and succeed most times but it seems to take a lot of work. I go through periods where I do well and then fall back into old habits and again find myself feeling that really uncomfortable feeling. It literally feels like I am uncomfortable being in my own skin. I don’t recall feeling this way in the past. I did feel anxious, but this isn’t the same feeling. This feeling is odd to me; familiar but unfamiliar. I am told I need to relax into that feeling to understand. I will try and do better at that, but so far I cannot seem to completely relax into it. It really feels not quite right.

Sea Lion

In addition to having these realizations (there are others I am not yet ready to mention), I am sleeping very deeply and waking frequently throughout the night. My dreams are odd and make no sense to me. For example, I had one dream where I was watching someone mold a person out of sand. The person looked like me, only a younger version. Last night I had another really odd one.

In the dream I was returning to my childhood home. Oddly, the new owners of the home were the new owners of the house I just sold last year. They were having a party and we arrived in the driveway. It was packed with people and I was looking around at the changes that had been made. I wandered around with my husband, looking at the old front yard and seeing a leather sofa sitting outside. It was in good condition and a nice cream color. I was shocked, commenting that it was so wasteful and wanting to take he sofa home but deciding against it. I also saw that they were painting the walls of the front yard (yeah, it had walls, weird) but had changed their mind and so there were two different colors, one on top of the other. I commented on this as well, wondering what they were doing.

We went to the old garage my dad use to keep his old Corvette in. Inside was an old Mustang that was being rebuilt. I commented that the new owner must need lots of things to keep him busy since he didn’t work. I then saw that sitting atop the Mustang was a creature. It appeared to be a mermaid or something like it. It was small, like a child, and had near mummified hands and limbs. It looked dead and we inspected it. My husband told me, “It’s a sea lion, see” and pointed to what appeared to be a golden mane down its back. I saw this and thought how odd that it was called this as it was very obviously some kind of deformed human.

I watched it intently because it intrigued me. It was disgusting but I could not stop looking at it. It’s hands were both reaching up into the air, fingers spread, and its little eyes were wide open and frozen. It appeared to be garbed in heavy cloth of some sort, which is why it seemed to have a huge mane.

Then I swear I saw its hand move. I pointed it out to my husband. It was then I saw a child with us, a small, blonde one. I ushered the child away from the sea lion and towards the house. We entered but the child would not come in. We joined the party but I kept thinking of the sea lion. I went to the door, suspicious, and saw the sea lion had walked to the entry and was standing near the door, it’s mummified hand outstretched toward me. I saw the child and was afraid for him/her (not sure on gender) but shut the door. I told the owner, “It’s alive! It’s at the door!” I felt very nervous about it being outside and alive. The owner smiled and calmly said, “It just needs attention”.

Interpretation

I am not really certain what this dream means. I believe it is likely that I was being asked to attend to a part of myself that was neglected: the sea lion. A sea lion, or seal, symbolizes playfulness and the ability to have fun and enjoy life. In other words, the inner child. The state of the sea lion suggests that this part of me has been horribly neglected. I was curious about this part of me but at the same time very cautious. I did not like that it was “alive” and there was a bit of fear and horror that came with it. Then I was told the sea lion just needed attention, so also does my inner child need attention.The blond child that was with the sea lion suggests that the inner child symbolism is accurate. I believe the setting of the dream, back in my childhood home, is also symbolic of me being urged to return to childhood innocence.

Mermaids represent femininity and so it could be that this sea lion represents my feminine side since I initially thought it was a mermaid. As I consider this, I wonder about some thing. It could be that my childhood contains something that is lost to me; a memory that I hid from myself to protect myself. This seems probable because I struggle to remember much of my childhood from around the age of 7 to 9. It is also probable that there may have been sexual abuse, though I do not remember any. My sister told me in 2003 that she was sexually abused by our neighbor. She told me I told her he had touched me inappropriately, too, but I have no memory of it. None. I do recall going into his house with my younger sister and when we got to the bedroom (we were looking for him) feeling a very bad feeling and to not go there. But that is the extent of my memories of him. So I wonder if perhaps I am being asked to look into my past and find memories buried deep. I honestly don’t think there is anything major there, but then again, who knows? We will see. If it is meant to be found, it will be.

January 6, 2015 by Dayna

Blue Jay

Today as I was going about my day, I noticed a huge blue jay sitting on my back fence. He just happened to be in the same spot where I saw the leaves of a tree formed into the perfect seven not long ago. I stopped what I was doing and watched him. He was beautiful and so magnificently marked. Blue jays are not around much here where I live so to see one is rare. I immediately took note that he may be bringing me a message.

Blue Jay Symbolism

From Animal Speak by Ted Andrews.

The blue jay has long been thought of as a bully and a robber, and although it can have those tendencies, it has other qualities that make it stand out positively. For those to whom the jay comes as a totem, it can reflect lessons in using your own power properly. It can also reflect lessons in not allowing yourself to be placed in a position in which power is misused against you.

The word ‘jay’ comes from the Latin ‘gaia’ or ‘gaea’ which has associations to Mother Earth. In Greek mythology, the union of Mother Earth (Gaea) and Father Heaven (Uranus) resulted in the first creatures who had the appearance of life. This reflects much about the intrinsic power associated with the jay. It has the ability to link the heavens and earth, to access each for greater power.

The black and white markings found on its blue wings also reflect this same ability. The sky (blue) separates the Heavens (white) and the earth (black). This is a totem that can move between both and tap the primal energies at either level. The jay is aware of this innate ability, and this is reflected in its blue crest–higher knowledge that can be used.

The main problem will be in dabbling in both worlds, rather than becoming a true master of both. Those with a jay as a totem usually have a tremendous amount of ability, but it can be scattered or it is often not developed any more than is necessary to get by. it is not unusual to find individuals with blue jays as totems to be dabblers–especially in the psychic and metaphysical field. They know a little bit about a a lot of things, and they use that knowledge sometimes to give the impression they know more, or that they are true masters.

The bright blue crest of the jay should always be a reminder that to wear the crown of true mastership requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all things in the physical and spiritual. The blue jay is a reminder to follow through on all things–to not start something and then leave it dangling.

The blue jay reflects that a time of greater resourcefulness and adaptability is about to unfold. You are going to have ample opportunities to develop and use your abilities. The jay does not usually migrate, staying around all winter, so look for there to be ample time to develop and use your energies to access new levels. It will stay around and work with you as long as you need it.

The blue jay is actually a member of the crow family, and most crows have no fear. Crows and jays alike will gang up to harass and drive off owls and hawks. The jay is fearless, and it is because of this that it can help you to connect with the deepest mysteries of the earth and the greatest of the heavens.

The blue jay is an excellent mimic, with a sharp eye and voice. It especially has a wonderful knack for imitating red-shouldered hawks. Old-time naturalists were convinced the blue jay derived pleasure from this activity. As with all members of its family, this sense of seeking pleasure–often at the expense of others–can reflect an imbalance. Sometimes jays show up when this is occurring in your own life.

Blue jays have a tremendous ability for survival with the least amount of effort. They reflect great talent, but that talent must be developed and utilized properly. If the jay has flown into your life, it indicates that you are moving into a time where you can begin to develop the innate royalty that is within you, or imply be pretender to the throne. It all depends on you. The jay has no qualms. It will teach you either direction.

January 6, 2015 by Dayna

Three Dreams and a Decision

I have been struggling these last few days with the apathetic feeling as well as with a feeling of being “done”. I feel smothered by my life and unable to escape. I know that this trapped feeling is caused by my own thoughts but I seem not to be able to get the feeling to go away. No amount of yoga, meditation, or exercise helps for very long.

Last night I went to bed asking for help on this matter. I do not like feeling like this and, honestly, I feel as if all the progress I seemed to have made back in December has been destroyed. My guide reminded me that this is normal. “Two steps forward, one step back. It does not mean you are not succeeding. You are learning, adapting and becoming stronger“. Yeah, well, it sucks. That doesn’t feel like progress, it feels like wading through muck.

Three Dreams and a Decision

Similar to the prior night, last night I awoke four or more times in the night. This time, however, I recalled the dreams I had been having prior to waking up.

Dead Chickens and Geese

The first dream I awoke from was a weird one. I had been left in charge of my mother’s chickens. My job was to feed and water them and make sure they were okay. They were inside a large pen and it was pretty crowded. There was small chicks, adult chickens and adult geese.

I had not checked the birds in several days when I went to check on them. To my disbelief, I found three large, white chickens and two white geese dead. Their bodies were torn apart all over the pen while the other birds pecks around and seemed to not notice. I did not want to mess with the mess so I called my husband to help. I dreaded telling my Mom but knew I would have to.

I could not figure out what had killed the birds. My husband and I inspected the pen and the only place where something could have gotten in was a hole through the laying boxes. I concluded that a raccoon or opossum must have come in and killed them. I told my mom and all was okay.

To see dead chickens in a dream indicates a decision to no longer be cowardly. To see dead geese suggests a decision to stop being domesticated. The baby chickens indicate that perhaps I have other fears that are “growing” that will need to be tended to later.

Unexpected Guests

In the next dream I recall I was inside an unfamiliar house. It was mine, though. I walked through it and surveyed it, noting it was quite nice and had a very calming, healing energy to it. I went outside and walked along the stone patio to the back. I saw a nicely manicured green lawn and a small, stone and mortar wall. There were large trees whose trunks and lower branches were painted a rusty red. I wondered about it but decided it didn’t matter. I also saw three cats roaming about. They were friendly and I wanted to pet them but they would not come close enough. To the left was a huge lake, the waters were dark and there was a ripple of a current. I decided I liked it there.

I went back toward the house and ran into people I did not know. They were asking me for popcorn, saying my husband had told them we had some. I assumed my husband had invited them and so was pleasant but told them I did not have any popcorn. They had a cooler with them and one man pulled out a beer. They walked around the house and yard as if they were viewing it as a potential purchase. I watched them for a while and then approached the man when they were outside. I was eating popcorn and explained all we had was a tiny amount. I showed him this and then offered them all some Christmas popcorn. They were not interested.

The men were looking over the edge at the lake below and asked if we had ever swam in it. I said no. Then the men decided to go down to swim and all were preparing to follow. There was a woman with a small, blonde headed girl and two men total.

The men went down and walked along the sewer pipe that led from the house. I remember looking at it and seeing the patio. I recalled that there once was a pool there but it was now gone. I wondered what had happened to it.

I followed the men down to the lake and saw that the water was flowing more rapidly than it appeared. The man was going to jump in and I suggested a spot. He pointed to something and when i looked I saw that the water was full of antique gas pumps of varying colors and shapes. It was like a gas pump graveyard!

The house in this dream symbolizes aspects of myself. I focused upon the healing aspects the most. The tree suggests I have solid foundations to build upon. The water represents emotion and since it is dark the emotion is unknown or unexpressed. The water becomes more rapid, though not overly, which suggest the emotion is growing in intensity. The uninvited guests symbolize new challenges and interests in life The popcorn indicates positive growth and new ideas. Finally, the fuel pumps indicate untapped energy that is waiting to be utilized.

Decision

I awoke from this dream in a sour mood. I was still feeling unable to cope with my life and feeling trapped by it. The feeling is hard to describe but I will say it is very uncomfortable. I admit I thought of some not so good solutions to try and avoid the problem. However, I suddenly was hit with an idea – I needed to take a week vacation by myself. I just needed to go somewhere alone by myself for a while to get away.

I immediately thought how purposeless that would be because I would just return to the same life I left. Nothing would change. I began to get caught up in the hopelessness of my situation (or at least it seems so to me) and thought about escaping in the night never to return. I love my family, my children, but I recognized that there is a part of me that does not enjoy parenting or being an adult. I recalled a few past lives that confirmed why I had these feelings but pushed them away. I recognized that it is OK to feel like I do. I am not bad to feel this way and I can leave anytime I want. Oh it is so tempting!

After thinking upon this for a while I recalled good ol’ karma. Now I am not sure that karma even exists, but I do know that I have a very strong purpose when it comes to my family. I just cannot leave my children and my husband never to return. This would go against my agreement to them. I don’t know how I know this, but I do. I could do it, nothing says I can’t, but the feeling is that I need to fulfill my part. This is important to me as well as to them. I don’t know the full extent of it, but the feeling does not lie. It says, “The only way out is through”. If I want this cycle to be done, I need to go through this and fulfill my part for whatever reason.

So I returned to the idea of a week long vacation. I decided it was a good, temporary solution. It would offer me relief and give me something to look forward to. Also, I would need to plan this out and planning trip is something I have done in the past with great success. It could be fun. But where would I go? What would I do? This, I feel, will come to me. All I need to do now is making the decision. So it is made. I will plan to take a trip alone during Spring Break. I asked my husband if this would be okay and he said it would be.

Any suggestions as to what I should do? I thought maybe I could visit the Monroe Institute. Or maybe there is somewhere else that would be better? A warm place would be nice and a place where I can meditate, sleep, and be surrounded by beauty and positive energy.

Lavish Hotel

I fell back to sleep after making my decision and jumped into a semi-lucid dream. I was walking with my mother down our road. To the left I saw a huge hotel that had been built. It was at least 12 stories high with windows that reflected the light like mirrors. It had a silvery-blue sheen to it and was quite grand.

I remarked to my mother about this and she pointed ahead. I saw a large shopping center being constructed. I was very excited to see this and know that our small town would be booming soon because of this new development.

We decided to go into the hotel to look around. We went up to the top floor where we stood for a while in awe of the grandeur of the place. The walls were white with gold trim and the ceilings were domed and high.

We saw that the entire top floor was a fine restaurant. We stood in line and decided we just wanted dessert. A waiter came to us and recommended something. He said he would bring it to us and so we waited in the waiting area. As we waited, a man, his wife and children were sitting near us. The man was eating dessert and his son was climbing all over. I watched him and his children and thought of my own.

A hotel indicates a shift in perception is occurring and that old habits need to be replaced with new thinking. It also indicates the need for a vacation. Eating dessert represents enjoying life, indulgence or temptation.

January 5, 2015 by Dayna

Bunnies and Dead Dogs

After my very vivid dream about the death of my mother, I was a bit shaken. I finally told her about it the next day. As I suspected, she did not freak out. Instead, she told me that she had recently had a sudden vision of herself passing out and being found by her husband dead on the kitchen floor. She also told me that she has been having dreams about death – her own and her husbands. She has also been worrying about updating her will.

She told me she believed that I was just picking up on her emotions; that the dream was not precognitive. This may be true, but I did not feel better after telling her about my dream. I told her that, too. We agreed that I would give her a call on the 21st and joked a bit to make ourselves feel better. I asked her before hanging up to please tell me if she felt anything out of the ordinary.

I have done all I can do now. I pray that my dream was just a worry dream like my mother said.

Bunnies and Dead Dogs

Last night I woke up at least four times throughout the night. Each time I awoke from odd dreams. Now, hours later, I can only remember one dream and of that dream, only a small portion.

In the dream I recall walking outside in the grass while talking with someone. It was beautifully green all around – the grass, the trees, everything. It reminded me of Spring.

When I got to a certain area outside, I noticed a dead, black and white Australian Shepard. He was black and white and brown and very beautiful. I kept walking, thinking it odd to see a dead dog, when I passed by another identical dog, also dead. I blinked, thinking I was seeing things, but the dog was there still. I turned around and where the other dead dog had been there were several small, black and white bunnies hopping about. I was confused for a moment, thinking that the bunnies were also dead. However, they continued to hop around happily.

Afterward, I was with my middle son and he was asking me to get something for him. I responded to his request but first had to wash my hands. I went to a nearby sink and began washing my hands. When I looked down they were covered with blood. I recall wondering how I got blood all over my hands. Had I killed the dogs?

Interpretation

I am not sure what this dream means but I can figure out the symbolism attached.

A dead dog symbolizes either the loss of a good friend or the deterioration of one’s own instincts. Dogs typically represent a strong, loyal aspect of one’s self so this would be the part of myself that has died.

The rabbits are interesting. Rabbits represent good luck, welcomed changes and also vulnerability. The colors of the rabbits I think are significant. Black symbolizes fear of intimacy and white symbolizes faithfulness and love. From the looks of the dream so far, it appears that I am focusing on developing more intimacy and love within my relationships.

The washing of bloody hands represents cleansing away of guilt.

A Feeling of Finality

Lastly, I continue to be haunted by a strong apathetic feeling. It feels so final and unavoidable. I seem not to care much about anything anymore except my family. In fact, I nearly quit my job because we could not find an affordable babysitter for 20 hours a week. We did find a solution but when I thought about quitting, I was okay with that option. When I wondered what I would do instead, I got a feeling to trust that something would come my way.

It just seems like everything is ending or becoming finalized in my life. Then what? I don’t know. I think that is what bothers me the most. I honestly don’t have any answer to the question my guide is always asking me: “What do you want?” Hell if I know.

January 3, 2015 by Dayna

The Incompletes

Last night I had an uneasy feeling before bed. I instantly knew it had something to do with a mother figure and so assumed it was my mother-in-law since she has been doing very poorly. I had sensed previously that she does not have long left on this Earth – two years give or take a year to be exact. I could not get my heart to calm down after this feeling hit me. It is like it knew what I didn’t consciously know yet.

The Incompletes

I had a very upsetting and emotional dream last night. In the dream, I had just heard that my mother had died. It was unexpected and I was told a couple of days after it happened. I was devastated and experienced grief beyond description. I cried so hard that I could not breathe and it felt as if my entire midsection and heart had been ripped from my chest and stomped upon. In the aftermath of her death, I watched as her new husband first went through shock and then an intense grief of his own. Newly married, they had not had much time together. His previous wife had also died so this devastating loss was much more than he could bear. I watched as he walked about, head down and shoulders slumped, as if awaiting his own death.

Throughout the dream I cried and in between my bouts of grief I learned more details of my mother’s death. I learned them from my mother herself as she spoke to me from the Other Side.

The idea to speak to my mother directly came to me from within the dream and I calmed instantly and began to hear what she had to say. She told me how she died, saying it was a sudden heart attack that hit her during her waking hours. She collapsed as her heart failed her and she died almost instantly. I had hoped she had died in her sleep, so this disappointed me.

I remember asking her what would happen to her belongings – the house, dogs, etc – and recalling that she had written all her children into her will. She told me there was a problem, she had not updated her will since her marriage and by law all her property would go to her husband by default regardless of what her will stated. I felt as if being told of this conflict was in part for me to help prevent it, but at the time I did not really care. I only worried about her husband as he would not care either and would likely not last long after her death.

I then asked her when this would happen and she said, “The 21st” and I assumed it meant of this month. I then asked her if she had completed her transition after death and she said, “No. That will happen in July”. It seemed a long time to me but I just listened, still overcome with grief at losing her.

I kept fighting my grief and it would hit me suddenly and with such intensity that I wished myself dead to avoid it. In between these times I had clarity and calm and it was during these times that i would hear my Mom and receive her messages. One message in particular stands out to me.

My mother told me this: “There are soldiers coming down now. All us Intermediates are leaving”. I immediately recognized the part about the “soldiers” and thought there must be a war coming. I wondered, though, about these “Intermediates” as she called them. I assumed they were those who had not completed their transformation for one reason or the other and so were leaving now to return at a later date and complete it.

I again became overwrought with grief to the point that I could not breathe. My body shook and I woke up, tears streaming down my cheeks.

What Does it Mean

Waking up in tears from such a vivid dream about my own mother’s death really upset me. Was this a precognitive dream? Or does it symbolize something else? I got the dates of January 21st and July of this year. Is that about my Mom? Or is it about me and some symbolic “death” I will be going through this year? Maybe it is both?

I can never be certain if a dream is precognitive until after the time period passes when whatever is foretold should happen. The feeling I had from the dream suggests it is very much a possibility that death could be visiting my family again this year and that it could wreak havoc if things are not in order when/if it does happen. However, I am not very good at foretelling the future of those closest to me. My strong emotional attachment often skews the information. Yet I get told many things in my dreams and via my guides and when I receive information this way it is always true.

I plan to talk to my mother about my dream to at least forewarn her of the problems that could result if she does not update her will. She will listen, she always does, but she will take it with a grain of salt (I hope). I don’t like telling people of my precognitions, especially when death is involved, but in this case I feel I must.

Ego Death or Something Else?

As for the Intermediates and soldiers my mother spoke to me about in my dream, the information about them was not surprising to me. It was as if she was reminding me of them rather than telling me for the first time. I have long had visions that there are currently thousands of souls coming to Earth now with a unique purpose. I see them as streamers of light coming down from the Heavens. I have also previously had messages sent to me of an upcoming period of crisis that would result in the loss of millions of lives and change the way people lived. These souls can be seen as “soldiers” of both real war and a different, spiritual war.

As for the Intermediates, I have also gotten precognitive glimpses of such a group. When my husband’s boss and wife died last year, I got this message clearly and saw that many were choosing to end their reincarnations now so they could come back and help with the “adjustment” that the newer souls would be going through. There is a peak in the number of these souls – “soldiers” – coming in 2020. As they will be children first before they grow into their purpose, they will be confused and in dire need of guidance. I have seen myself as one of these human guides and assumed it meant I would leave this life before 2020 so as to be back in time to help.

I questioned my guide as to my accuracy in translating what I have seen and been told. I was not given a direct answer. I asked if I was one of these “Intermediates” and was told, “Yes”. But I wonder if I will truly “die” and join the other Intermediates or if I will continue with my transformation in this life first. I am confused because, though it feels like I will be leaving this body prior to 2020, it could be the infamous Ego death so many are talking about. I wonder, which is it?

January 2, 2015 by Dayna

Wharf

Not much has been going on with me spiritually this week. My ascension symptoms have decreased and I am feeling pretty much normal. When I check my chakras they are all open except for my crown, my third eye being the most wide open of them all.

Ascension Symptom Update

I am noticing that I am back to the high-energy state I was in prior to December 12th. I am also no longer experiencing the sweating and hot flashes that I was back then, which is a relief.

high energy
mood swings
feeling cold
seeing images/shapes out of corner of my eye
mild headache on and off
disinterest and/or feeling apathetic
deep, near dreamless sleep
restless at times

OBE – Wharf

I could not fall asleep last night because I was so cold but eventually I did. I suspect it was around midnight but am not sure.

I suddenly became aware that I was swimming in the water beside a wooden pier of some sort. I was not alone. Next to me I could sense a person; a man. Curious as to who was with me, I reached out and touched him. His body was solid and I could feel his arm and his back. He was facing me.

It was dark, so I suspected my vision had not turned on yet but I did not think much about it at the time. The man with me responded to my touching (I guess he thought I was sexually interested) and began to kiss me. I allowed him to, but was not really into it. I felt nothing in response to his kisses. I was more curious about who I was with.

As if my curiosity acted like a command, my vision suddenly brightened as if a light switch was turned on. I saw in front of me and very close a young man with brown hair and pale skin. I immediately stopped kissing him and inspected him. He looked directly at me with bright blue eyes that had flecks of different colors in them.

I realized that this young man was very young, probably only 15 or 16 years old. I was a bit surprised by this. “He’s just a boy!”, I thought to myself. The young boy stared at me uncomfortably and said, “Age doesn’t matter here”. I wondered to myself, “Can he read my thoughts?”

I recall thinking all kinds of things to myself about how young he was and how I would not have kissed him had I known. I am certain now, thinking back on the experience, that my thoughts were easily read by this young man because I sensed he was very disappointed that his sexual adventures with an older woman had been stopped. I laugh to myself now about it because I did not feel horrified or disgusted by his young age, just disinterested.

The young boy, whose name I know is Ryan (not sure how though), began to leave. I saw as he left that we were inside a building, a very old one at that. I must have gotten out of the water because I felt myself standing on a solid surface but it was swaying and moving as if with a current and I knew I must be on a pier of some sort. I surveyed the room I was in an saw it was made of old wood with spaces between each plank that let the light in.

I turned to my left and saw a man lounging nearby. He was just as vivid a sight as the boy was and seeing him took me by surprise. He was older than the boy with yellow, curly hair and deeply tanned skin. I went toward him to get a closer look and found myself face to face with him quite quickly. I looked into his eyes and saw/felt he was intrigued by my inspection of him. I saw his eyes appeared green and gold with some brown around the edges. I asked him, “What color are your eyes? Are they hazel?” He smiled and said, “Are they?” I somehow knew at that time that he and I had met before but I could not place him. I remember asking him, “You, too?” and he said, “Yes”.

I stood back and looked at him some more. He really was quite handsome, in a rugged sort of way. He was lean and tan and wearing a Speedo or maybe some of those tight fitting boxer briefs. I was amazed at how much detail I was seeing. I could see the tiny, curly blonde hairs all over his arms and legs and also the tattoos. I said to him, “You have tattoos” as I touched his left leg. I looked more closely at the tattoo and saw that it was of the comedy/tragedy mask. It took up his entire left thigh.

He allowed me to inspect him, his face showing his amusement. He said to me as I was looking at his tattoos, “Bet you wouldn’t guess I was a doctor”. I looked up at him, thought a moment and said, “No”.

He got up and headed toward the same door the young boy had gone through. I followed and watched as he walked down a dimly lit corridor. I could see it swaying with the tide and saw lanterns hanging from the rafters.

I yelled after him, “What’s your name!?

He turned and yelled back, “John”.

I said, “Nice to meet you, John. I’m Dayna”.

The interaction with John and Ryan was curious to me and I stood there wondering about it. I thought I must be in California but I am not sure why I thought this. I also wanted to know more about this John.

As I thought about everything my awareness began to increase exponentially. I felt myself come back into my body and immediately began to recount the OBE.

False Awakening

I laid there a while going over the OBE in my mind and then decided I must get up and type it up as soon as I could or else I would forget it. I got up and went to the computer and sat down. I began to try and type it up in an existing document but it would not allow me to. My daughter came and began to bother me about watching t.v. showing me the yellow triangle of the internet connection which meant access was limited. She kept bothering me to the point that I told her to go downstairs.

I suddenly realized I was not really awake but actually dreaming. I forced myself to wake up, feeling very, very groggy and finding that I could not remember where I was or what I had been doing. I knew I had an OBE but could not remember anything about it. I concentrated and was able to remember it. I got out of bed right away and wrote it down before I ended up in another dream.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5 increasing to 8

Intent stated?: No

Time to bed: Midnight

Time to wake: 5:30am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yes

Mood: normal

Body: normal

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 1

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Right side