Monthly Archives: June 2015

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Consciousness Crescendo – Message from the High Council

There will be soon a climax in consciousness that will be experienced by the many on Earth ascending at this time. It is so called a climax because there has not yet been such consciousness levels reached in these individuals until now. This is the culminating event in an ever building schematic previously laid out eons ago for the transcendent evolution of mankind.

In this event a superior knowingness will seem to descend upon those ready for such an experience. It will feel much as if your physical mind expands beyond a limit yet to be experienced. Your origins and purpose will again be revealed but this time with more definition and specificity. The gaps that were there before will be filled in and a pervasiveness of it will endow you with much of your Self which you have lost over countless incarnations.

Additionally, a calmness will overtake you that is such that you will feel ever more comfortable in your surroundings, in your physical vehicle and in your purpose. A dream-like quality may accompany this and a sense of homecoming that many of you have been seeking your entire lives will be palpable.

This climax in consciousness comes after a period of quiet and seemingly disconnect from Source. This in itself was an illusion set up in part due to the effects of the Egos return to the forefront during a time of adjustment and transition. There is a pattern in this process that you may now be noticing. Such patterns exist so that the full transformational effects can be felt and processed without resulting in supreme overwhelm of the mental mechanisms of the body. The physical vehicle is only capable of so much and should not be pushed beyond its limits. To do so would encourage sudden illness and dysfunction therein. Even with precautions, many have been experiencing physical alterations at varying degrees throughout their transformation. Therefore, do not be disappointed when this powerful and sublime crescendo, decrescendos, and leaves you wanting for more. The true test is in recognizing the illusion of its departure.

As always, we remind you to tune into the heart center and avoid the mind’s over-analytical tendencies. Trust the process. Give into the process. Release your fears, doubts and insecurities and this consciousness crescendo will shift you into the next level.

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Purification

Yesterday I began the long process of purifying this physical vehicle (body). I have done this in the past (8 years ago) but am doing it again for several reasons. First, I had a c-section last year that pumped my body full of nasty medications (morphine for one) and have had several rounds of antibiotics along with various pain medications and local anesthesia. This along with environmental toxins, past recreational drug use and psychological medications, I figured it was time to do it again. I also want to help this spiritual process I have been going through by making sure the body adequately adapts and adjusts to it.

The routine is simple. Take prescribed amounts of various vitamins and minerals, exercise at a moderate intensity for 20-30 minutes and then do a stent in the sauna. The main ingredient here is the Niacin as it is the vitamin that helps dislodge residual drugs and toxins that are lodged in the fat cells of the human body. The exercise circulates the Niacin, which often causes a major flushing and tingling of the skin, and the sauna heat causes the body to sweat out the toxins through the skin.

The time in the sauna is extensive. Yesterday I spent 2 hours in it. Today will be 3. The next day, 4. Then I think it plateaus. I will continue the program until there remain no more reactions to the Niacin and my body has flushed all the toxins. It can take 3 weeks or longer going in daily, so it is quite a regime.

Day One

It is funny how 8 years changes you. Last time I did this program I felt rejuvenated and full of energy. I looked forward to the run and enjoyed the sauna. Yesterday, however, I felt like a slug as I ran on the treadmill and the sauna seemed to suck the life out of me. My blood sugar dropped (my fault) and my blood pressure dropped at the same time and so I got dizzy and nauseous. Thankfully a bit of food and cool air resolved that quickly.

When I got home I felt exhausted and couldn’t get enough to eat and drink. I drank a gallon while there so was surprised I wanted more water. I probably drank another gallon at home. I craved carbohydrates and couldn’t get enough so finally broke down and had  a tootsie pop. lol I am still getting over this cold so that also hit me in the evening like usual and didn’t help how I felt (yes it is safe to do this program with a cold).

I slept like a rock last night, getting about 9 hours of sleep, but I am still tired today. I just want to lounge around and do nothing but will be leaving for day two of the purification in an hour. I know that this feeling of exhaustion will leave soon enough as my body adjusts to the change in routine, I just wish it didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t know how much spiritual activity I will have while on this program, so not sure how often I will write. I am not motivated to do much right now and my focus on the spiritual is none.

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Heart Center Adjustment

As I mentioned in my last post, I was unable to fall asleep last night. Part of it was my illness, but the other part had to do with an odd feeling in my heart space.

The feeling is hard to describe but it felt as if there was trapped energy there. I had requested help from my guides to fall asleep and was instructed to focus on my heart space. That is when the strange energy became very strong. It was not the normal pulling sensation nor the vortex-like spinning I am use to. Instead, it felt like my entire midsection from my collarbone to my pelvis was buzzing, jumping and shooting with electrical energy. It was not a comfortable feeling and reminded me somewhat of being anxious, but it was not the same.

Oddly, the sensation pulled me into the in-between and I lay there for so long I thought I must have fallen asleep because I don’t remember anything from that time period. I want to say I was in the in-between at least half an hour. When I regained awareness, the strange feeling was intensely apparent and large, like my entire mid-section were engulfed in electrically charged flames. I didn’t feel hot, though, just different, as if I were split in two but only in that part of my body.

I awoke and then went back into the strange sensation which now no longer bothered me, falling into a very deep sleep. My dreams were in an environment I have not been in before where the atmosphere is similarly charged with the same heart-space energy except in the dream the energy was deeply calming and felt like an extension of myself.

When I awoke there was a knowing that I had received intense healing. I also knew the illness I currently have is a direct result of some of the changes I am going through, My body is reacting to them, adjusting and correcting itself. I am glad a cold is all that resulted!

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Dream: Bluejay Turned Cat

I couldn’t fall asleep last night because of a nasty head cold I came down with a couple of days ago. It is funny how this cold works. Through the day I feel fine but then once the evening approaches I begin to get all stopped up and my throat hurts. I can’t sleep with a stopped up nose and sore throat. Nasal spray and Benadryl were my go-to’s but it still took me until midnight to fall asleep.

Bluejay Turned Cat

I was inside a house talking to a parent-figure for some time. The house seemed filled with twilight – the ambiance was calming with a bluish-gray tinge and sparkling energy that was energizing and familiar to me. I never saw who I was speaking to but I knew him.

Suddenly, I saw what appeared to be a large spiderweb covered in dewdrops. It was spectacular looking except that there was a large bluejay trapped in it. The bird was flopping around trying to get free and I watched it, hoping it would succeed. I eventually felt bad for it and stopped my conversation to help free it. However, it freed itself without issue and flew off.

I followed it and found myself walking in the twilight on a beautifully manicured green lawn. Down below was a large lake with cattails and lily pads. There was still an energy and bluish tinge to the air.

I watched as the bird turned into an orange striped cat. He was meandering toward the pond. He would turn into the bluejay ever so often and this did not seem to bother me. To me, they were one in the same.

The cat stopped and seemed to have something around his leg. I went to try and help and he flew (turned bluejay) across the pond to the other side. He then ran out of my sight, again turning into the cat.

I noticed he had dragged something with him across the lake. It was a green extension cord. How odd.

I was speaking with a boy at this time, my other half or twin. We decided we wanted to get the cat and he said the parent person had a boat. I saw it in my mind, a nice, flat bottomed boat. We requested to use it and permission was granted. However, I was afraid I would fall out and explained I had never been in a boat before. I was told I would have to do it without the parent person’s help. I would have to row my way across on my own.

Interpretation

I felt to be in a school situation at this time and much of the conversations I had are lost to me. However, the dream symbolism suggests I have overlooked something (bluejay) and am trying to control my spiritual progression (stuck in web). The bird turns into a cat suggesting that the overlooked aspect is connected to the spiritual feminine, independence, creativity and power. The green cord could be symbolic of connection to the spiritual like the silver cord so often observed in OBEs by others. Green symbolizes healing.

I seem uncertain about how to retrieve what I desire which is to help myself heal and reconnect to my spiritual feminine, independence, creativity and power. It is important to note here that bluejays also can symbolize the mind, body, spirit.

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Clearing the Path

My night was full of healing dreams last night. I had so many that it would be the longest post to write about them all. What seems to be happening, though, is that I am being guided through memories from my early life – teen years mostly. In one dream, I even ran into my high school friend’s father who died several years ago. I told him,”You look different”, and he asked me, “How?”  I said, “You don’t look so harsh”. Of course, this is a reflection of me more than him, but it was so very vivid that I wondered if I actually met him or if it was a dream creation of mine to help me learn.

I recall having a conversation about that high school friend, discussing how I felt I should still keep in touch with her. My guide asked me questions that I did not hear aloud and I reflected upon our severed relationship. I felt guilty for not being there for her during her cancer but then I realized we had drifted apart long before then. I remember saying, “We were too different”. At the end of that dream I realized that relationships are purposeful. She came into my life to help me and when she was no longer needed, she left. I acknowledged this and moved on.

In another dream I ran into an old coworker who I feel I wronged. I hugged her upon seeing her and she flinched as if I hurt her. She put her hand to her left shoulder and held it and I apologized asking, “Did I hurt you?” She did not reply and I realized she had a chip on her shoulder which I reminded her of. Her healing is not done and she is still bitter. I felt no remorse for what I did upon that realization. It is her burden to carry, not mine.

When I finally woke up for the day, I heard very clearly a voice say, “You are becoming crystalline”.

Chakras as Alarms?

When I went about my day today, I found my reactions to my husband were full of anger. I didn’t understand and could not hold back my spite towards him. I also noted a strange sensation in my second chakra. It was almost like that sinking feeling one gets in their stomach when they are nervous, but this was lower down and not very strong. I have never felt anything like it. I recall recognizing this feeling was out of place. I wondered, what was going to happen?

The day continued with me remaining irritated at him. It finally subsided later on after he told me something that upset me and I just accepted it and moved on with my day. Later on, however, I got onto the computer and happened to see an email he had typed. It was related to what he told me earlier in the day so I read it.

I became completely enraged by the email because 1. it revealed he had not told me the full truth and 2. the subject matter was something I should have been consulted about, but was not.

He left to take the kids to a party and I got to be home alone. I immediately remembered the second chakra feeling I had at the beginning of the day and I wondered, when did he send the email?

I checked the date and sure enough he had sent it the night before. Somehow, I had sensed his betrayal and a part of me knew. Had I just paid attention I would have known why I was so upset with him most of the day.

This betrayal is not the end of the end or anything, it is just about being able to trust my husband. This is a core issue in the realm of the second chakra which is all about relationships and creativity. My second chakra acted as an alarm to try and help me understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling, but I didn’t catch onto it. I will next time.

It is interesting to me that all this occurred today after receiving the message about becoming crystalline.

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The Unfolding: Message from the Peiadian High Council

Against the night there is a shuddering, a violent explosion of intent from which you have surfaced feeling a bit shaky and alone. You forget where you came from in this moment but within yourself you find remnants remain of that which you left behind. Your true Divinity flowers then from within, bursting from your heart space and opening up your human eyes to things which had previously been hidden from view. This is the unfolding of You; the taking of your rightful place in this Earthly life. You have been waiting for so long for this moment and it is now yours in all its glory. Awaken and rise up to take on this mission you have come to fulfill. It is a beautiful unfolding and we are pleased you have made it this far. We will wait for your next momentous leap, not far in the future. Until then, practice walking on your new shaky legs. Gain your footing and your stability. Move into wholeness and throw off uncertainty of purpose and any lack that remains from the fears that have been following you throughout this lifetime. It is you, all of it, but some of it need not be a hindrance. Toss it off and carry only what you need for this work is hard and tedious and thankless. We are grateful to have you in service again. Pleased are we that have supported you in this endeavor. Much love and togetherness is felt with each new step you take in the direction of the Light. Thank you. Bless you. Be You.

It is with a full heart that I typed this message from my Council. I do not fully understand it but I am beginning to feel different for lack of a better word. These last few days I have been wrought with such grief and confusion. There has been an intense struggle within going on. There are no words with which to try and describe it. No sense can be made of it. It is like a part of me put up a fight and lost. I know I am far from “there” yet, but there is a peace in knowing that I am past the point of no return.

I recognize now that I am integrating the Old more and more every day. I see her differently. I am not her anymore. She is something I created to withstand the hurt and pain of life here on Earth. She is the forgotten me, the me I left here while I focused on other things. I feel sympathy for her. I love her but she needs to find peace now. There is nothing so difficult as to welcome back a piece of yourself that you left behind. There is no memory in this other part. She Forgot so much and it is painful for her to Remember. So also is it painful for me.

What an odd feeling. I wish I could relate it better. Sorry.

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Dream: Soiled Wedding Gown

I again had a night full of vivid dreams. This time there was a theme. In several of my dreams I was either looking into a toilet or sitting on one and each time there was feces in it that was not mine. Yuck! Both times the feces would not flush even though the water would drain and new water would fill up the toilet.

Soiled Wedding Gown

In this particular dream I was hiding inside a bathroom stall. I say hiding but I am not sure I was doing that, but it felt like I was trying to stay unnoticed. I was sitting on the toilet, preparing to use it, when my dress got into the toilet water. I pulled up on the dress and saw that the white lace had been splattered with tan colored feces.

Grossed out, I attempted to clean it off by using the toilet water but saw that it was full of a very large turd. It was not mine and I did not want it there so I flushed the toilet. The poop remained as if stuck to the bottom of the toilet and I flushed it again. With the second flush, it went down the drain and clean water remained. I used it to clean up the dress but the spots would not completely wash out. I remember thinking, “Oh well, no one will notice”.

I then noticed my baby had found me and this caused me some upset as I wanted to be alone and there he was in my private space!. So, I got up to leave but saw that the entire silk underskirt of the dress had gotten into the water. Thankfully it was the clean water so I just squeezed out the water and went on my way. I remember thinking my dress was ruined but then reconsidering as everything that had been soiled on the dress was from either underneath or at the end of the train.

Interpretation

I awoke from this dream in the midst of an argument between my Ego self and my guide. This part of me was adamantly against the instructions we had recently received. My guide was asking me to listen to my heart and I fell into this space with ease and was immediately calm and knowing. The Ego self got quiet all at once and I understood the dream and the reason for her upset.

The wedding dress was an assessment of a personal relationship, in this case most likely my relationship with my family. The feces indicates areas of my life which I find repulsive and reject. I understand now that I was being shown these areas are still “soiled” and my reaction is that they are not a big deal in comparison to other issues I have had in the past.

The upset in this case was that my instructions are to remain where I am in life and continue to focus on my family while expanding myself spiritually. There was no other work to be done, no specific or exciting projects forthcoming and no relief from the daily grind of life that my Ego self was hoping to have.

It was then that I was taken to a place quite unexpectedly. Standing next to my guide I saw a lush green valley spread out in front and below me.  A river was winding toward the horizon where the sun was low in the sky and there was such magnificent colors that I thought it must be a painting I was in.

My guide said, “Do you see that river?”

I nodded, “Yes”.

He said, “That is your life, your path”.

I looked closer at the river. It was shallow with various higher areas of green grass in between dozens of channels. It appeared almost like a path with various roads which would diverge only to meet up again and then diverge again. There were many, many paths and I knew they were all possible routes I could take.alaska

So many options.

I understood then what he was showing me.

“It is easy”, I said to him. “The river is shallow enough to wade through”.

“Yes”, he confirmed.

“And I can choose to go any route I choose”, I said as I pointed to the paths the river took.

I remembered then my plan prior to this life which was to assist with the ascension. My job is to help others find their way. I do this through my writing and the relationships I have in my day-to-day life. My counseling came into my mind as did my relationship with my children.

I saw then that the other paths were mine to choose. They were not pre-planned. I could do whatever I wanted with the rest of my life. I could fill that time however I chose.

So much possibility but I did not know what I wanted to do. I wish I had planned these paths before coming.

“Whatever path you choose will be the right one. They are all part of your path”, my guide reminded me.

The Ego self wanted more, though. She wanted something grander. She wanted to scream to the world of her gifts, of her “specialness”. To set herself apart from the crowd. But to do that would destroy my purpose completely.

I then understood that I had to blend in; to do my work without being noticed or praised for it. To walk in my human shoes as a human does but with a knowingness of my origins and my purpose tucked inside my pockets.

It is probably the hardest life one could choose to live. It is the ultimate in humility and servitude.

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OBEs: Body Troubles

After a night of intense dreams and the typical wake-up for my briefing this morning at 5am, I fell into the in-between where my guide and I conversed for some time. I heard my guide say to me, “You can go anywhere you want, whenever you want”. In hearing that, I attempted to launch myself out of my body in one giant leap only to find my exit was blocked by the body. It was like a tall, impenetrable, invisible wall. I wanted out!

Observing Another Me

I then found myself watching a scene play out in front of me. I was the main character but I was not in the body experiencing myself as the character but rather above and to the side as an observer. The man who was me was in the midst of a lucid dream in which he had just recently awakened. He was standing next to a woman who was his wife I think and she was the typical dream dummy – blank face, zombie-like expression and slow-motion, puppet-like actions. There was a child as well, but the focus here was on the woman. He was trying to get her attention but she did not respond to him.

Then, suddenly, she had in her hand a pistol. It was a pretend pistol, though, and looked like one of the child’s toys. She took it and shot herself in the left hand, right in the center of the palm. She then took her hand and held it up high. Blood was pouring out of the wound. She took her hand and put it in the face of the man.

The man was confused. Why did she do this?

As if his question were being answered, the woman suddenly had in her other hand a folded up note. She began to hand it to the man.

As the observer, I suddenly was very interested in this note. I wanted to know what it said!

I pulled my energy in towards me, like summoning it from beyond myself into my center. I then rolled to my right and off the bed.

I had instant, clear vision. The colors were golden and the room and its contents seemed to spin around me. Or was that me spinning? I could feel people there with me, but could not look at them because of it.

There was a feeling that I was not OOB. “This is real”, I thought. I then bumped into the corner of a table. It felt solid and the impact on my hip caused me to pull back from the sting of it. Still spinning with the bright light flooding my eyes, I felt a bit disoriented.

“No, I am OOB”, I thought, “but this sure does feel real!”

I immediately headed out of the room as fast as I could. I felt rushed, as if I had something important to do.

I then became aware of a strange sensation. I felt a part of myself trying to break off. I wanted free of it but it would not budge. Instead, I felt wracked by intense, sporadic vibrations that threw me into more of a tailspin and made my vision begin to fade out. Then, I could not breathe and began to gasp for air. I felt my physical body very acutely at this time but was also very much aware of my being out of it. I was literally split and there was a distinct dislike for my physical body and a resistance to it.

Body Troubles

I came back into my body and took a deep breath, still feeling a constriction in my throat area. I noticed my throat hurt but I didn’t care. I also felt odd sensations in the lower three chakras, like they were breaking apart. There was a deep aching in my second and solar plexus.

I wanted to go out again.

With the thought, I waited for a bit and then, as if knowing the right time, I rolled backward again, right out of my bed and my body.

This time I had no vision and I felt something wrapped around my neck. It felt to be my blanket and it coiled up tightly around my throat. Since I only had mental vision, I pulled myself hard against the blanket in an attempt to free myself from it. I requested clarity to try and gain some stability (should have asked for stability), but nothing happened. I had to free myself from this blanket!

I walked around the front of the bed and pulled the blanket over my head. It released and I tossed the blanket on the bed and headed toward the door. Again I asked for clarity, but something didn’t feel right. The vibrations were again wracking my body and I felt to be spinning and standing still at the same time.

With that I began to again feel desperate for air. I knew it was my physical body doing this to me and so I tried to get away from it so its hold on me would be less. Unfortunately, the body took a huge gasp for breath and this pulled me back into it.

Realization

Back in my body, I wanted to make another attempt but felt there was something I needed to know. So, I changed positions and swallowed hard, noting my dry and sore throat.

I thought back on the experiences and wondered why I felt such strange spinning and shaking.

Then it hit me: It was my etheric body that was causing the crazy shaking. I was attempting to drop it, to throw it off and be free of it. The sensations fit. I felt like a snake shedding its skin and finding it won’t come all the way off. So it stuck to me and pulled on me, shaking me and disrupting my progression.

In my past OBEs I have never had such a feeling. I would just move into the next level, the astral, without issue. However, this was more of me throwing off this lower body rather than moving into the next. It felt like I was trying to dissolve it altogether. Is that even possible?

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Dream: Flooded Car

For the first time in a while I remembered a full night of dreams. I will focus only on one since it was an answer to a question.

Flooded Car

In this dream I first remember being told about a huge flood that was stopping traffic at certain intersections. I then saw in front of me a road and without knowing why, I began to drive at high speeds toward a part of the road that was partially submerged. What is interesting here is that I was flying, not driving at this time. I never actually saw my car but knew it to be my silver Prius.

When I hit the part of the road that was flooded, I was stopped by the water. I don’t remember being in the river of water, just that I was now without my car. I saw other cars that had been caught, lined up along the side, but did not see mine.

I then spent a while trying to find out where my car went. I ended up inside a stark warehouse asking different people what happened to my car. I saw in front of me a list of different car types and their corresponding storage areas where they were placed to dry out. I could not find my car as it was by license plate and I did not know mine.

I began to wander through the building and into rooms. In some rooms there were household items and furniture piled up with tags on them. I passed through this room without much interest.

I went through various levels, sometimes up and down, without finding my car. Finally, I was outside the warehouse being shown where my car was. But when I located it, it was my SUV, not my Prius. The Prius had been totalled, its electrical systems destroyed by the water.

Conversation with Guide

I awoke in the midst of conversing with my guide about the above dream. I recognized the dream was in response to a question and request I had made. My request was that I go quicker through whatever transition it is that I am going through. The question was, “Why is it going so slow?”

It is obvious to me that the Prius represents my individual path and the SUV is that of my path with my family. The flooded roads indicate areas of high emotional charge that have yet to be released and perhaps even the Ego’s hold over these areas of my life. The road was not completely submerged, only halfway.

I threw myself down the partially submerged road and got stuck, my car ultimately was totalled. This symbolizes what would happen if I were allowed to go quicker through this transformation. I would stall out, overwhelmed by emotions, literally drowned in them. I won’t say it means I would “die” but it definitely indicates an overwhelm so big that I would be unable to cope with it.

Then I was shown the SUV as an answer to what I need to be doing now – focusing on this path I am currently on with my family. The rooms in which I walked where furniture and household items were stored symbolize areas of my current life that are emotional triggers for me (there was another dream that explored my connection to my children after this one).

I was not very happy with the answer I received because when I am not experiencing changes related to my transformation, I feel bored and restless. I was reminded to focus on my heart and it helped and now I feel fine, but upon waking I was very upset. Slow and steady wins the race I guess. Sigh.

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My Soul Family

I finished this painting today. It is called “As above, So below”. It is of a vision I had a while back of a tree with two tops and no roots. The top is the spiritual aspect and the bottom is the physical.

I just remembered a conversation I had with my Companion last night. I somehow lost it by the time I awoke but it came back to me this afternoon.

In my mind I saw a picture a tree and saw two branches. I heard my Companion say to me, “You are one branch, I am another”.

In recognizing I was conversing with him, I then recalled what we were discussing and knew he was explaining his relationship to me. It was interesting to me that I had been having this conversation but only was remembering this part. I had asked him to explain how we were “family” only a couple of days ago. He had said, “We will talk”. I never expected to actually remember the talk. 🙂

I understood very clearly then our relationship, though it is hard to explain now as words don’t seem to do it justice. What it felt like was that we were off-shoots of a larger energy, we and many others. In my mind I saw a very large tree, spreading its branches upward and each of those branches was another of us and each of us broke into ever smaller versions of us. To put it simply, he and I were siblings. Now it made sense why he has said more than once, “We are brothers”.

While caught up in my trying to sort through this information, I saw very clearly in my mind a class picture like is often taken in school to capture each class before they move on to the next grade level. It appeared to be a large class, bigger than my high school graduating class. I wondered how many were there. I heard, “215”.

I then wondered back in a question, “But shouldn’t it be in multiples of 12?” This idea came from previous research I had done into spiritual monads.

I received back, “Who decided that?”

My thought was then, “Guess not. 215 sounds good”.

That’s a big family, though. Much bigger than I thought it would be. I suppose that is because I usually only interact with a small group via this consciousness extension.