I don’t know if it is because Mercury is retrograde or if things are just shifting in my life (maybe both?) but since last week, my work situation has been tense. The same micromanaging person continued to get on my case, sending email after email. In the meantime, I was attempting to get a meeting with my boss to discuss my options at work, specifically my resignation. I was unable to get a meeting all last week, but on Friday I finally did. Unfortunately, it was with the micromanaging coworker in attendance! Ugh!

The meeting was set for yesterday. I prepared by writing up my letter of resignation. When I got there, the meeting with my coworker was fine – no issues, just information and agreement that I needed more training to do my job. I did not bring up my resignation in front of her, but waited until after (I had preferred it be before).

When I spoke with my boss, I explained the reason I wanted to leave was because of financial changes in our home, mainly that my husband got a substantial raise (which he did). I left out the specifics of the job I do not like. I was/am sympathetic to my boss and do not want to burn bridges, so I told him that two weeks was when I preferred to leave. He needed longer, I could tell, but told me he would call HR and see what he could do. When I tried to give him my letter of resignation, he would not take it because he wants me to agree to continue on as a contract employee until they can find a suitable replacement. I agreed to take this into consideration because I feel bad for leaving them without proper notice (they want a month notice).

Later, my husband called to find out how the meeting went. When I told him what had happened, he began to question whether I should leave the job. This bothered me because he had always said, “Do what you want” or “If that is what you want, then do it”. He never seemed concerned. Now, though, he acts like I will be bored and that I will be unhappy and grumpy. I suspect his personal view of the matter is tinged with the fact that if I stay home, then his mother, who watches our kids, will be out of her part-time income. I also suspect he likes the extra income from my job – which I do as well but not at my expense!

What is bothering me is that I do not want to continue on with my job as a contract employee because that means doing the part of my job which is my least favorite. I would be paid more for the little time, but the paperwork would be gruesome and I hate paperwork. On top of that, I really, really wish I had made my boss take my letter of resignation! Now it is not on file.

Yet there has been and continues to be a strange, calm feeling that accompanies this situation. When I first decided to leave my job it came on with such a wave of love that I felt reassured it was the right thing to do. And every time I thought about the situation, second-guessing and worrying, the calm would reappear. It just sweeps over me and I have thoughts that surmount to: All is well. Trust in your decision. There is also a knowing that to think of all the possibilities leads to those possibilities becoming more likely as the outcome. I must keep focusing on what it is that I want and not let doubt in.

So, each time I worry, I direct my thoughts to something else, or try to. And if my thoughts wander, I get a sudden nudge or even sometimes a thought, directing me to shift my focus on the positive. There was also a knowing that I would know what to do when in the situation.