There is an upgrade underway. This is how I have been experiencing it. How about you? What have you been experiencing this week leading up to today, 12/12/2015?

Memory-Loss

These past few days have been filled with information seeming to constantly stream into my consciousness. I get the information, acknowledge it, think to myself, “I need to write this down” and then promptly forget all about it. It becomes completely gone from my mind. Wiped out.

Then out of the blue it returns. It is like it is simply placed back into my mind and appears as if it never left. And I’m like, “Wait a minute. When did that happen? Where did that come from? How could I have forgotten that?”

Headache

I also have a headache. I am on day two of it. Sometimes it is my entire head, other times just right in the center of my forehead. It got so bad last night I almost took an Ibuprofen but as soon as I thought of it, the pain lessened.

I can’t help but think the two are related. Memory loss + headache = upgrade in effect. At least that is my suspicion.

Grumpy

I have also become Grumpy Mommy again. Not all the time but enough that I am embarrassed by myself. For some reason lately when my kids all talk at once very loudly (which is most of the time) I can’t take it and snap. I usually just yell or tell them to get away from me. But it is not nice and I always feel bad afterward. Then again loud noises in general have been making me grumpy lately it is just that my kids happen to be the main source of that in this house.

Ego Fits

And my Ego is coming out of hiding again as well. I suspect this is part of the current upgrade – push, pushing, pushing me to see certain patterns that need to be let go. I got upset over something I read by a friend of mine and began thinking of saying something back to show them how wrong they were. But then I got to thinking (with the help of my Companion of course) that it was not me but my Ego self which was upset. I could have it just as it was and so let it go. This has been less and less common for me but for some reason I just didn’t want to let it go. I am glad I finally did.

Emotional Releases

There have also been strange emotional releases hitting me out of the blue. Two nights in a row I have woken up crying. Then, last night I read someone’s account of losing their beloved pet. I burst into tears over the loss of mine in 2012. Ugh! I thought I had gotten past that! Guess not. Thankfully it was short lived because my youngest got very concerned and the love and concern in his eyes made me laugh at how silly I was being. I snuggled him close and was reminded by my Companion that We wanted to know the love of a pet because it was so strange to Us how humans get attached to pets. I hate it when he reminds me of that.

Restless Sleep

And then there is the restless sleep. I am simply not tired when I head to bed. I end up wide awake for a few hours before I fall asleep and then I wake up way too early. In the midst of sleep I have crazy, vivid dreams, and end up waking up in tears or just pondering what the heck the dreams mean. I don’t feel rested when I wake up yet I can’t go back to sleep and usually my Companion is urging me to get up, reminding me that I have children I love and life to live. I am not a morning person so to have my Companion nudging me to get up is very annoying. I think he is a morning person and wanting me to become one! lol At least he is not all happy-go-lucky like a cheerleader. I think I would throw up if he were.