I’ve been struggling with the shifting energy and my own energy lately. I seem to fluctuate between very high high’s and zombie-dead lows. It is like I have this immense amount of energy pouring through me during the highs. But during the lows I feel exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically.

With these fluctuations comes solar plexus and sacral plexus discomfort. For three days now I am hit mid-afternoon with discomfort. It is not horrible or anything but makes me think I have an intestinal flu. Sometimes I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. This is the solar plexus pain. The sacral plexus pain feels akin to menstrual cramps except at the wrong time of the month.

I am also struggling to sleep and when I do sleep I don’t feel rested. Even so, I wake up extremely alert and with high energy.

Through all this is the continual heart chakra fire that ebbs and flows.

Today, Christmas, has been the most energetically draining day I have had in a very long time. I think the full moon, the current energies and the intense experience I am having combined to create a very unique circumstance for me. I am completely drained.

I am ashamed to say that I am seeking out alcohol more this week than I have in a long time. I am not a drinker. I hate getting drunk. Hate beer. Hate hard liquor even more. But three times now this week I have had a drink….or two. It doesn’t help, I know. There is a little voice saying, “Be a good girl. This will only slow the process”. I roll my eyes and say something not so nice in return and pour myself a drink.

And please all pretend you don’t hear this – the cigarettes keep coming out, too.

I totally don’t give a rat’s a$$ at the moment so when I get my head on straight later you can all remind me of how stupid I was being. K?

Anyway, I was getting to a dream wasn’t I? (No I’ve not had a drink today)

Dream: Two is Better Than One

I was in a church with unfamiliar people who I associated with as “family”. I don’t remember what they looked like. At the time in the dream I was trying to get away; escape them and this suffocating feeling that came with being around them. I found the bathroom and saw two little girls were already in it. They were twins I think but I mostly focused on the one girl. I saw that the toilet was really low, like for a child. I said something to the effect of, “I hope I can get up from such a low seat”.

I turned to the door to check that it was locked and tried to turn off the light. It was a strange knob instead of a switch and when I turned it a loud grumbling ensued. I jumped from the sound and quickly switched it back off. I saw then that I had turned on the heater and I felt a rush of very hot air hit me. I didn’t want the heat on.

Then I turned back to the toilet and sat down but I didn’t use it. The one little girl came up next to me and pulled down two toilet seats from the wall. It was like they had been hidden there. She sat on one and pointed to the toilet seat that was touching the one she was sitting on. I was confused. Why would anyone want to use the toilet that close to another person? I questioned her on this. She said to me, “We do everything together. Two is better than one”. I remember thinking that using the bathroom was a private thing and being very uncomfortable with the thought of sharing it with anyone. Yet I felt comfortable with the little girl as she sat right next to me.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream is about healing. In fact, I know it is. Toilets and bathrooms are all about cleansing and emotion. You can tell a lot from the state of the toilets and bathrooms in your dreams. If clean, this is a good sign as your emotions are not muddled. The dirtier the more muddled or confused. Toilets themselves are about releasing emotions and things in your life that are no longer useful. Flush away the old to make way for the new.

I find the part where I accidentally turned on the heat the most interesting. It not only scared me but I promptly turned it off and didn’t want it on. Heaters in a dream can signify that one is opening themselves up to loving and being loved. Heat equals emotion or the flow of feeling. In some cases this feeling can also be desire.

Finally there is the message and the fact that there are twin girls in the bathroom when I go inside. I understood the message to mean whatever this healing journey is that I am on, I am not suppose to go through it alone. Two is better than one this time.

Silver Lining

I wanted to end with something funny since my sense of humor has been off the charts since all the heart fire began. I just break out into giggles for no reason and even when feeling drained like now I find my humor is high. Thank goodness for silver linings.

Oh and I got a turtle pendant for Christmas from my husband. Just makes this more funny now. 🙂