The Swami and Renunciation

One of the things I experienced this morning was waking in the midst of speaking to someone. I don’t recall what I said now but it woke me up twice. Twice with the same word spoken. The word  wasn’t familiar and sounded foreign so I wrote it down in my sleepy state before I lost it. What I wrote down was: Swo-me.

Later today, while at work, after forgetting completely about speaking the word, it came back to me. I searched Google for anything close but ran into nothing. So I thought about the spelling because I likely spelled it wrong. I was tired and just wrote the sounds I was speaking. So, I typed in swomi and came up with swami. That was the word. I had just misspelled it.

I wish now I remembered what I said. I only recall that the word was in reference to a person. To me? To someone else? I don’t know. Sigh. Memory can be so difficult when sleepy.

I read an article about what a swami is and found it fascinating. I also find it fascinating, once again, that my guidance, through the in-between state, had led me all the way across the globe to India and Hinduisim!

Swami means “master” but so much more than that. The author states:

The act of becoming a swami is not so much an acting of becoming, of adding on, of allegiance, as it is an act of setting aside, of renunciation. A swami is a monk, one who has set aside all of the limited, worldly pursuits, so as to devote full time effort to the direct experience of the highest spiritual realization, and to the service of others along those lines.

It represents setting aside one’s identity and  embracing the Whole. Ha! How appropriate!

The rest of the article is also informative and I suggest you read it if only to learn something new for the day. The whole article feels like a message to me. The part of the article that most resonates with me is What is Renunciation located at the bottom of the article in the link above.

These parts stood out to me:

Renunciation is not, definitely not, an abandoning of any duties. Those who have any claims on him first renounce their claims on him and grant him their happy permission to let go. Theirs is no less an act of renunciation, more difficult, because they have yet to struggle with the world. He renounces because his karma with them has been fulfilled; all he leaves behind is their happy thoughts about him.

The above confirms so much of what I have been intuiting about my current karmic situations.

H. H. Swami Rama says that human beings are an unfinished product. A swami is the finished product, ideally speaking; or aspiring to become a finished product soon, in this very life; this is the ultimate in human evolution.

Wow..

In the life of a spiritual seeker or teacher there comes a moment when a decision can no longer be postponed. One passes through emotions like those of a bride: sadness at separation from past love, looking forward to a future of a different expansion of love, enhancing oneself. All weak emotion is to be watched and conquered–not by suppressing it but by merging the little love into the greater one……..Such a moment is a moment of dying; dying to one’s erstwhile limited self. The renunciate performs that ceremony to himself which is normally performed by relatives following the funeral of someone physically dead.

The final section, The Basis of Renunciation, list seven principles as the basis. They are:

  1. The renunciate directs all his energy toward the attainment of the goal of life, realization.

  2. He does not waste time and energy pursuing desires based on self-interest.

  3. The renunciate’s journey is inward; it is neither action nor inaction nor retreat. It consists of performing actions mentally and directing the mind and its modifications inward rather than toward the external world.

  4. Non-attachment is attained spontaneously because the renunciate is not involved with objects; they have all been consciously renounced.

  5. With pure reason all the samskaras are burned in the fire of knowledge.

  6. There remains only one desire: the desire for Self-realization. That desire does not motivate one to do actions in the external world but becomes a means to build determination, will power, and one-pointedness. Therefore such desire is an essential means rather than an obstacle in the path of sadhana.

  7. In the path of renunciation, Self-realization alone is the goal, and any action that does not become a means is firmly rejected and renounced. There is no half-here and half-there; total dedication and devotion are essential limbs for renunciation.

What this means for me, I am still unsure. Perhaps it is just that one of my guides is a swami and I was speaking to him. Perhaps this guide wanted me to explore this definition of “master”. It would not be the first time I have been led in this direction. Feels like I should have been born in India this life! lol

I hope this post sparks a Remembering in you as well. 🙂

Day #4 and Dream: Saxophone

Day 4 of my gratefulness challenge. Today I am grateful for:

  • Sleep. 🙂 I always want more but am happy for what I get. I had awful insomnia from 2011-2013 on and off.
  • Heaters, especially space heaters. It is still too cold here in Texas for my liking!
  • Coffee – goes with the cold days! I didn’t start drinking coffee until I lived in Alaska back in 2001-2002. Nothing like negative temps to drive you to a habit even if it is a tasty one.
  • Sight (vision). I use to have awful eyesight (can you say blind?) and got Lasik in 2000. Even though I have to wear glasses/contacts now my vision is pretty decent even without correction. Every day I wake up and can see my alarm clock without having to get within a foot of it is a good day!
  • Friends and helpful neighbors. My neighbor is a godsend for watching my littlest on short notice.

Speaking of insomnia, I’ve been awake since 4:30am but am glad I got the 6 hours I got. Seems like I don’t need near as much sleep as I use to these days.

Dream: Saxophone

I had a marathon of dreams last night but this one is worth recounting.

I walked into a small classroom building that was very obviously a music room with carpeted walls. There were instrument cases all around and I spotted a saxophone case. I played sax in high school so I opened up the case and pulled it out. Even though I knew it wasn’t mine, I played a few notes and was pleased I hadn’t lost the ability to play. It sounded nice and smooth. I played a scale, noticing the sound and feel of the pads as I played. Eventually I put it back in the case. However, I decided to fill the case with water. I don’t know why I did this. After I left I worried about it because I knew the water would rot the pads. I hesitated several times and finally chose to go back to empty the water and fix my mistake. Unfortunately, the kids were coming back to the room so I didn’t go in.

Then I was talking to the student whose sax I had flooded. The student had short, black hair and appeared to be a boy but then I thought, “This is a girl!” However, there were no identifying features to prove gender. The student told me that he/she had stayed home sick the day he/she found the sax flooded and was very hurt that someone would do such a thing. Then he/she didn’t return to school but stayed in bed with his/her dog who was elderly and sick. I remember him/her showing me a photo of his/her twin – a child with short, blonde hair  who was also genderless. Both children were about 8-9 years of age. The dark haired one told me all about his/her twin and was eager to share but this is when I woke up.

Interpretation

It’s interesting to me that I keep having dreams with adults and children whose gender is undefinable. They appear asexual. The twin theme is also recurring.

The saxophone is a dream symbol I can’t recall ever having. To see and/or play a saxophone in a dream indicates a need to express one’s self from deep within. It also indicates I’ve made a deep connection with someone. Water is emotion so since I flooded the sax with water, perhaps I flooded the person I have a deep connection with, with emotion? Considering the person’s whose sax I flooded was dark haired and a twin, I suspect that the emotional overload is this other’s person’s and that I am the cause. I felt bad in the dream and wanted to correct my mistake.

Additionally, a sick dog represents a neglected friendship.

Finally, I keep having dreams with elements of music especially being either a part of or seeing an orchestra, though they are never playing music but preparing to. Orchestras represent inner integration, resolution and harmony and incorporating various aspects of one’s life for smooth functioning. It appears that I am working on or preparing to integrate various aspects.

I am hoping this dream and others like it are a positive sign of my progress. It is hard to tell, especially since I keep waking up from these kinds of dreams feeling very pessimistic.