Monthly Archives: February 2017

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Nightmare: Attacked by a Dustpan

Laughing at the post title? LOL Well, it’s true.

The last two nights I have not slept well – up like every hour or so. Fitful sleep. I blame it on the temperatures. Today it will be in the 80’s here in Texas. In February. BIG eyeroll.

Dream: Attacked by a Dustpan

In the dream I was in an unfamiliar house walking around a living area. There were others with me and the discussion was about me retrieving a photo album from a armoire. The house and everything in it was owned by an old woman. She had recently died.

As I was walking over to the armoire, someone mentioned they thought the house was haunted. I was feeling uneasy and looking around to make sure nothing was off as I went to get the album. I heard voices whispering to me, “It’s haunted. It’s haunted. She’s gonna be mad.”

As I opened the armoire I suddenly knew the old woman did not want me to touch her stuff. She wanted it all left alone. It was as if she was yelling, “Leave it alone!” I touched the photo album and suddenly was overcome with terror. I began to scream at the top of my lungs and as I looked up there was this white dustpan floating above my head. It began to come down as if to hit me on the head. I put my arms up to protect myself, still screaming.

Interpretation

When I woke up I could still see the dustpan from the dream. I was not scared, though, but a bit shaken up. I don’t have nightmares very often and this one, well it is the craziest nightmare I’ve ever had. lol

My interpretation of this dream stems from another experience I had a couple of nights ago. I didn’t write about it because I didn’t know what to make of it. I have had some sudden memories just come into my mind out of seemingly nowhere. They aren’t dreams, they are actual memories. Memories of things I did or experienced. When? Where? I don’t know.

One such memory came on suddenly and left me feeling quite a bit like this dream did. I almost became terrified, but stopped myself, falling into my heart space. Unfortunately, my heart space effectively blocked most of the memory so that all I am left with now are fleeting images and feelings.

The memory I have is of me looking directly at myself. An exact duplicate of me. When I saw her/me I Knew she was going to kill me, or at least that is how it felt. Thus, the fear reaction. She was smiling at me and only slightly different from me in appearance. Her hair was longer and she seemed much younger. There was absolute certainty that my life was ending and it would be because of her. That is all I can recover of the memory/experience, though.

There was also a sensation of losing my mind that accompanied this memory. I felt like I was on the verge of a psychotic break of massive proportions. This is what ultimately caused me to run to my heart space. It was very unsettling and I still cannot understand its cause or meaning.

Maybe I have an evil twin in another dimension somewhere? lol 🙂

So, I think this dream is about this other me. The old woman is the “old” me. She “died” and does not want me to retrieve her memories and her past (the photo album). I am in her house (body) and she wants me to leave. So she is haunting me (repressed memories/emotions/etc). I could not find the meaning of dustpan in dreammoods.com but I found the symbolism of a broom. A broom indicates a need to clean up one’s act and resolve past issues. Perhaps my reaction (terror) to the dustpan comes from feeling forced to take on her issues as my own.

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Busy Morning: 6 OBEs

Active morning from 4am to 6:30am. I had 6 OBEs one right after the other.

Lucid to OBE: Ghost Feet

I was sitting at the foot of my bed looking at my own feet but they were see through, like ghost feet. I was laughing about this and putting my hands through them. At the time I was semi-lucid quickly gaining lucidity. I then stood up and my bedroom transformed into a garage. I was standing next to a car. I took a cloth in my hand and gently wiped the hood in a circular motion, like I was waxing it. It began to hum like a crystal singing bowl. Delighted, I pushed harder and wiped faster and it hummed a deep, rich tone. I saw someone watching and said, “Quick take a video!” That’s when it hit me. You can’t take a video of an OBE! Why was I always trying to prove my experiences? I laughed at myself then, still “waxing” the car hood which was a deep, red color and completely lucid. My laughter brought me back into my body.

OBE: Classical Music

Sat up in my bed and quickly got out. Found that I was in my childhood bedroom from when I was 10 years old. I was still thinking of the music I had made with the car and in my mind I began to hum a tune, classical music – Rachmaninoff. I wanted my humming to grow into the full symphony and surround me like is normal but it never did. So I went around the corner to the other bedroom, the one I occupied in my teen years. I saw the bed and leaped upon it, briefly amused at the thought that I may end up body slamming some unsuspecting person. Turns out no one was in the bed and I felt so comfy that I “fell asleep” returning to my body.

OBE: Unwanted Guests

I shifted back OOB and opened my eyes. I was in bed listening to my husband talking. The room was golden lit and even my husband looked a big gold. He was telling me he was going to stay in the bed with me and that it would be that way from now on. I protested, telling him I wanted my space. He wouldn’t leave and his energy totally repelled me. So I got up and left the room. I walked through an unfamiliar house ending up in a room where the bathroom was not separated by any walls. The sink had been removed from the wall and was laying on it’s side. The toilet was flush with the floor and resembled a sink more than a toilet. Water was leaking around the edges. I wondered about the toilet. How would one use it? Stand over it? I positioned myself over it to check when a woman walked in saying, “Good morning!” Confused, I stared at her. She was short, blonde and young and very pretty. I recognized her as one of my husband’s friends and remembered an entire scene (from a dream?) where she and her Russian friend were visiting us. I said to her, “What are you doing here!?” She said, “I stayed the night, remember?” I didn’t. I then realized my husband must have invited her after I fell asleep. I said aloud, “I wish he would talk to me before he invites people to stay the night!” The woman looked shocked and backed away. I paused, at first worried and then realized it was too late and she would get over any upset. Then I yelled at my husband, “Who pulled out the sink? And what is wrong with the toilet?” lol

Note: Turns out the type of toilet I saw exists. They are called squat toilets and are common in Asia! haha

squat toilet.jpg

OBE: Ready to Go

I returned to my body slightly disoriented. Within moments I exited and once again sat up in my childhood bedroom. I began to sing almost immediately as I stood up and headed toward the living room. As I sang I began to pull blankets/pillows off of me. It felt like there were layers covering my face and obstructing my vision. When I was able to see I was standing in front of a pile of Christmas gifts. Where the tree should have been was an empty space but this didn’t bother me. I noted the presents, briefly looking at their contents which was mostly candy and then went toward the door. I went through it and ended up outside. It was dark and I still felt like I had blankets over my head. I continued to sing and kicked a blanket off my leg and pulled more off my head. I felt myself rising up, up, up. I sang to the universe that I was ready to go Home, that I knew my family awaited me there. I could literally feel their love and my love for them. Pure joy! I rose higher and higher, singing joyfully about seeing them again and telling them I was ready, my life had been lived, I was finished, fulfilled. I sang my truth, my heart bursting and there was no doubt in my mind that I was rising up and leaving my body for the last time.

OBE: Drummer Boy

I stopped rising up and felt the familiar energy of re-entry. No deterred, I shifted back and once again found myself in my childhood bedroom. As I left the bedroom, I began to sing. This time I sang the Little Drummer Boy Christmas song. Why I did this, I don’t know, but I was very happy about it. lol I entered the living area and again pulled obstructions off my face. They cleared quickly and in front of me were the presents again, piled high in the right corner and then spread in front of me. The tree was still missing and I remember thinking it was just dwarfed by all the present. I opened one of the presents and pulled out a peanut butter Christmas tree candy. Wrapper in hand, I walked out the front door. It was light outside and I was greeted by the most spectacular sight. Both the sun and the moon were out at the same time. I could see the stars behind clouds suggesting a sunset while at the same time feel the warmth of the still present sun on my back. The visual was amazing and I stood there in awe. I said aloud, “How can the sun and moon be out at the same time?” I was about to eat my peanut butter candy when I was pulled back to my body. I said to my guides, “I wanted to eat that candy…” LOL

OBE: Fog Horn

I re-entered my body smoothly and shifted positions, thinking of the OBEs trying to remember them all. Somehow I ended up back OOB, though I don’t recall any vibrations or shifting. I was sitting in the living area with the presents. My son was with me and we were sorting through them. I took one and he took another and I said, “I’ll take yours and you can have mine.” We both opened the boxes. Inside mine was a strange shaped horn. I picked it up and blew it and it made a nice horn sound. I said, “It’s a fog horn!” I put it back in the box and looked at the rest of the contents. A wooden recorder was inside. I was happy with my gifts.

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Cabbage Soup

Remember I mentioned my yummy cabbage soup? Well, figured I would share my recipe for it since I’m sure you love cabbage! hahaha I know, it’s not the most favored of veggies but it provides massive amounts of vitamins K & C. A veggie with a punch!

I stumbled across the cabbage soup diet when I was searching for a good cleanse that didn’t starve me to death. I wasn’t into losing weight or fat, so I just took a cabbage soup recipe I liked (there are tons online) and tweaked it. BTW it does serve as an awesome detox/cleanse. I’ve used it many times with great results.

Cabbage Soup

Ingredients

1/4 cup butter
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3 large carrots, sliced
1 large white onion, chopped
4 stalks of celery, sliced
1 container sliced fresh mushrooms
1/2 head of green cabbage, chopped
3 medium potatoes, chopped into 1 inch cubes(peel on or off)
1 large turkey kielbasa, sliced (optional)
2 vegetable bouillon cubes
2 Tbsp parsley (fresh is better)
1 Tbsp ground coriander
1 tsp salt or to taste
1 tsp pepper or to taste
8 cups water

Directions

Chop all the veggies ahead of time and set aside.

In large stock pot melt 1/4 cup of butter and cook celery, mushrooms, garlic and chopped onions until onions are translucent. Add the spices and then add the cabbage, carrots and potatoes. The cabbage should fill the pot so if you didn’t chop enough, don’t worry you can add more once you add the liquid.

Add 8 cups of water and the bouillon. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 30 minutes or until cabbage is translucent.

If you like meat, my favorite thing to do is add some sliced turkey kielbasa. Just toss it in when you are cooking the celery and onions. My kids always fight over the sausage in the soup. 🙂

Crock Pot Recipe

Same ingredients as above without the butter. Just toss it all in and cook on low for 6-8 hours. If you like butter, then you can saute the onions, celery and mushrooms (and sausage) beforehand. I am lazy so I skip that step. lol You can also try substituting onion soup mix for the seasoning.

Fish Soup Alternative

This can also be made into a yummy fish soup recipe. Cook it all up (minus the potatoes) and substitute 1 head of Bok Choy for the green cabbage. You will also saute the Bok Choy, with the onions, celery and carrots. Add liquid and bouillon. Bring to a boil and simmer until carrots are soft. Then bring it back to a boil. Drop 4 frozen tilapia filets one at a time into the soup. The fish will thaw and cook within 5-8 minutes.

My family loves this version of the soup. When I first made it I was trying the GAPS diet and fish soup was one of the recipes. We have been fans ever since.

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Pumpkin Protein Bars

Remember how I have been all into food? Well, happy people eat, and so I AM.

I’ve always been into “clean eating”, which just basically means eat good, natural foods and stay away from processed food. This means I make dinner every night from scratch (or try to) and make snacks the same way. One of my favorite go-to snacks is the protein bar. I’ve experimented with all kinds and found one recently by accident that is a winner all around. Sharing it with you in case you want to join me in a little healthy self-indulgence!

pumpkin-bars

Image from glutenfreedaddy.com

Pumpkin Protein Bars

Modified from the original recipe found on Gluten Free Daddy.

This was modified on accident, actually. I didn’t read the recipe correctly and ended up adding a whole can of pumpkin and forgetting the baking powder. This turned these bars into a very, yummy pumpkin-pie-like bar that makes it very hard to eat just one. My accidental modification turned out to be the BEST snacking bar I have ever made. Problem? I can’t keep the rest of my family away from them. It being gluten free is an accident, too. We like gluten! 🙂

Ingredients
  • 1 Cup Oat Flour
  • 1 ½ scoops Vanilla Protein Powder
  • ½ tsp Salt
  • 2 tsp Cinnamon
  • ¼ tsp Allspice
  • ¼ tsp Ground Ginger
  • 1/2 Cup Stevia or Splenda (you can do 1/3c brown sugar as well)
  • 3 Eggs
  • 1 15oz Can Pumpkin Puree
  • 1 tsp Vanilla
  • ½ Cup Pecans or Walnuts, chopped (optional)
  • ½ Cup White or Dark Chocolate Chips, melted (optional)
Instructions
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8×8 glass baking dish.
  • Instructions from original recipe say mix wet and dry ingredients separately and then combine. I just toss it all in and mix. No need to go in any order! 🙂 It honestly makes no difference – try it and see for yourself.
  • Bake for 35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. They will be the consistency of pumpkin pie. Yum! Drizzle with white chocolate if you want but I don’t do that. It is fine just the way it is.

Since it has whey protein in it you have to keep it refrigerated. It should keep for up to a week, if it lasts that long. I haven’t tried freezing them but they should freeze well.

 

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Revelations from an Encounter with my Grandfather

I met my grandfather in the dreamstate this morning. The meeting was very different than previous ones.

Dream: Revelations from an Encounter with my Grandfather 

I recall visiting with a young man whose energy I recognized as my grandfather’s.

History: My grandfather passed away in 2005 at the age of 79. He refused to eat or drink, in effect slowly starving himself. Later he was often seen in Spirit at the location of my family home built on land he passed onto me. My daughter, born in 2008, saw him walking down the stairs and called him “the funny old man”. She also saw him as a baby, following him with her eyes. At these times her electronic toys would go off from within a closed closet.

During our visit, the conversation came mostly telepathically which I then translated into words in order to remember what was said.

He told me that he was currently in an incarnation. His body once again male – Caucasian with dark hair and eyes. He told me quite enthusiastically that his intention was to follow a path he was unable to follow in his past life (the life with me as his granddaughter). With this he showed me how, in his past life, he had been in the Navy but remained at a lower rank, unable to go any higher because of his education and individual self-limiting beliefs. He saw his inability to provide for his family as a great failing of his, although from my perspective he did just fine and well in this endeavor. In his current incarnation he planned to experience success in career. I saw his intention in a projection. An image of a man dressed in Naval dress attire with white gloves and looking very professional and patriotic. There was a sense of great pride with this image. I could feel his excitement and enthusiasm, his heart bursting with all that he hoped to accomplish.

I understood fully then the inner turmoil of my grandfather, something he hid from everyone, maybe even his own wife. In creating his next life, he chose to work on this one area based upon conclusions he drew upon evaluation and review of that life. Had it been my life, I would have focused on some area completely different. But it was not my life and in his communicating his reasoning to me, I had no doubt that his choice was sound. It was very clear to me that the lessons we choose for our incarnations are merely an exploration into some area of self. Nothing more. We truly are our own judge and jury.

There was much more passed onto me in this encounter. Most of it merely impressions and feelings now. However, I took a good look at him standing before me. He looked nothing like the grandfather I knew.

The encounter expanded my understanding of how incarnating works. From the location where we met and communicated, the incarnation was as if it has already occurred and completed. There was not a time element, yet I continued to try and rationalize it in my mind. I was doing the math. If he died in 2005 then he would only be 12 years old, not the man standing before me and most definitely not an officer in the Navy as he had communicated. It was as if he had presented me with his Book of Life and we had examined but one chapter in the thousands it contained.

I was left feeling for my grandfather very differently than I felt while he was alive. In life I loved him but our experiences together defined that love. It was mired with expectation, experience and condition. In the dream I felt the love but it was not limited by those things. It just was. We were as if old friends traveling a path together. He was no longer my grandfather but my spiritual “sibling”, equal yet shaped by his individual experiences. I could see his life tapestry but it did not define him. Instead it was his work of art, his creation and something to behold and be in awe of. I shared in his excitement for his creation as he did in mine.

 

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Dance in the Rain: Choose Joy

You may be wondering if I’m still doing the happy dance over here. Well, yes and no. Yes, I am still feeling silly. Singing and dancing, playing around with my kids, just enjoying life. Then there is the “no” part. I only said “no” because yesterday morning I woke with a strange “off” feeling in stark contrast to how I have been waking every morning for the past week. Ultimately, it was a premonition of things to come. My husband triggered me and I spent a good part of the morning working with intention and pulling myself out of the heavier energy I allowed myself to fall into. But I  did it. 🙂

This song came to me while I was reversing the energy flow and shifting back into my happy place.

I went to bed feeling happy. 🙂 This morning I awoke feeling happy. Silly songs were going through my mind and I felt like dancing. Honestly, this personality change reminds me of my “drunk” self. I’m a happy drunk, a silly drunk, a talkative, laughing, high-as-a-kite drunk. Some say you become your “real” self when you’re drunk. Perhaps it is true? And now I am just being my real self when in the past I was unable to fully embrace her?

Here is a song that was going through my head when I woke up this morning. Makes me want to spin around and around and around while smiling really big.

So are you tired of my happy posts yet? Anyone disgusted, jealous, or just can’t stand to read my posts lately? (gagging sound) I totally understand. I’ve done a bit of gagging in my life and been completely put off by being around people who are “overly happy to the point of sickening”. I get it. I do. Hate me, pass up my happy posts. I’ll still be happy over here dancing to songs from the Minion’s movie. To be totally honest, I never thought this kind of extended happy feeling could be maintained. I do reality checks often (am I dreaming?) and turns out this is real.

You may also be turned off by my posts because your reality right now is in stark contrast to my own. I’ve been there. It’s tough. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I love you. I hope you can feel it.

The energies right now are brutal! First, there were several intensely powerful gamma ray bursts. Then came the geomagnetic storms that are only now subsiding.

planetary-k-index

We are being tumbled and thrown about in a raging ocean of intense energy – energy of extremes – positive/negative, protons and neutrons – cellular restructuring, crystallizing. Just when you come up for air you are pummeled and pushed below the water’s surface again.

By the way, I’m not immune, either. Not only was I triggered by my husband, but my neck has been feeling strange, energy swirling up and around the back of it and at moments causing me to feel as if I have a sore throat on the outside. Try to imagine that…. My lips are peeling like I burned them (I know weird). I’m super hungry and thirsty. So yeah, I have some side-effects, too.

I’ve been asked by others how to ride this wave. No you are not dying. You are transforming and this WILL pass.

My advice has been listen to your body. If you’re tired, rest. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re thirsty, drink up. If your mind is slowly sending you into a deep, never-ending despair or taking you around in circles, get out of it and into your heart. If you can’t manage that, then occupy your mind with something mentally challenging. Crossword puzzle? Or do something grounding but active like house cleaning, walking, strenuous exercise for short periods.

Sometimes, though, you may just have to allow whatever it is that needs to surface to come up. Then let it go. Harder than it sounds, I know. It takes practice. I am by no means a master at it. It took me all morning yesterday to “let go” and “hold space” for myself and my husband. Setting an intention helps.

Hot salt baths with essential oils are one of my favorite ways to handle intense energies. Sometimes they incite an emotional release. It’s okay. Cry in heaving sobs. Get it out.

Don’t forget to turn to what brings you joy in life. This can be a masterful way of integrating the energies. If you have children, surround yourself in their hugs. Snuggle. Watch a movie together. Veg out. Love to sing? Sing, even if it a sorrowful song. Drawing, painting, gardening, dancing….do whatever brings your heart joy even if at the time you don’t feel that joy.

A question I’ve seen a lot of lately:

I’ve been on this ascension path for what seems like forever! When will it stop?

Hate to tell you, but there is no “end”. We are always ascending. And descending. It’s a spiral. The pain, the discomfort, the struggle will stop when you are done with the experience. Think back to when you were a child. You were curious. You explored your world. You spent hours sometimes just exploring one particular object or space. Sometimes you went back over and over to this space or activity. When did you stop? When you were no longer interested in it. Then you moved on to explore something else. This is how we are as Spirit – forever children in awe and fascination with life and existence. Though you may feel you are “done” and have lost interest in the ascension path, your higher self may still have more to explore and is currently fascinated with whatever experience you find yourself in.

For me, I had to surrender. Completely surrender. I’ve been traveling this path all.my.life, but intensely so since 2003 and even more intensely since 2014. It was only recently that I finally surrendered and I only did so when backed into a corner. I thought for sure I was going to do something crazy, lose my mind, die the most horrendous death. I was ready to commit myself, to take any and all psychiatric medications just to make the pain stop. I had many previous “death” moments, but nothing like this.

On the other side of it, I can see how I chose the path, the pain and despair. Once I surrendered I saw that I could choose love, joy, happiness. That it is an intention. Though I had set intentions previously, I never truly understood the process until now. It is not a mental activity – Think what you want and focus on it and it will come to you. It’s from the heart. It’s a feeling. A full allowance and openness from the heart. There is no doubt, no second guessing, no what if’s. Setting an intention from the mind opens you up to all of the booby traps of the mind and leads to failure. It’s a lot of work, too. You have to keep thinking, focusing, re-stating intention. When it comes from the heart it just IS.

I hope this all makes sense and provides you with some kind of direction, some kind of solace as you ride the storm. If anything, listen to Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head. Hopefully it will make you smile.

 

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Happy Streak Continues

I awoke in a good mood. Again. Hehe Sadly, my daughter had to stay home from school today. She has a fever of 100 degrees, a headache and sore throat. 😦 I’m sure she will be fine but she can’t be at school with a fever.

As my day gets started I am feeling excitement welling up from within again. It has no object of focus. It is just Beingness and something I can’t believe I haven’t embraced every second of every day of my life.

With this excitement comes some quirkiness. My mind is not focused on any one thing, really. It is fairly open and flowing, touching only on what is necessary in the moment. With humor, my guidance deposits little messages and I laugh in return because they can be so funny in their choice of a medium.

For example, already this morning I have gotten messages in the form of music. One that was surprising and resulted in bubbly laughter on my part was the message, “Oooh baby, baby, baby, baby…” If you grew up in the 80’s you might recognize the song. I did. Straight away.

I am still laughing over here. Salt n’ Pepa, Push It….really? LOL I remember listening to this song when I was in 5th grade. I had no idea what it meant at the time. If my mom had known she would have not allowed me to listen to it. I must have listened to it quite a bit because I instantly knew it when I heard it in my mind and began dancing to it. Check out the lyrics if you are unfamiliar or just need a reminder. Just a warning – can’t you hear the music’s pumpin’ hard like I wish you would? HA!

I’m dancing quite a bit for no reason, too. Also motioning with my hands and speaking in Light Language. I cleared space using Light Language and crystals yesterday. Fun times!

I have a Skype session scheduled for Saturday. I have yet to use Skype for anything except messaging so I am a bit unsure how it works. I need practice. Anyone want to practice with me? If I can find my tarot cards (kids got into them) I can give a reading or maybe just be silly and dance, too. Feeling pretty silly over here anyway. I have to get my new laptop set up for Skype, too. Hoping it’s a simple process.

I’m really not sure how to channel all this happy energy. What do you do when you feel energetically high like this? I’ve never had it last this long so usually I don’t do much of anything except enjoy it. But this time I feel like I need to channel it into something. Art doesn’t feel right. Dancing? Well that’s getting a bit warmer. Singing? Warmer. Hmmmm. I promise, I’m not manic depressive, at least I don’t think so……

Here’s another song I was listening to this morning. Gave me a good laugh. Noticing a pattern here. Hmmm Rap? Me? LOL Thinking I’m gonna dance…..F*ckin’ Awesome! Warning explicit language….hehe