Monthly Archives: March 2017

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Dreams: Ruined Christmas and Piranha in the Toilet

Lots of dream activity for me last night. My guides want me to take notice and aren’t giving up.

Dream: Ruined Christmas

I was in bed and couldn’t sleep. I could hear a movie or recording being played by my husband in another room. It was religious and loud and irritating. I went into his room and asked him several times to turn it down or off. I couldn’t sleep and had not slept for two days. I got so irritated at him because he purposefully wouldn’t turn it off. I went to my bed and cried and cried from the frustration of it.

Then I was being prompted to get out of bed and participate in preparation for the festivities. There was family everywhere, most my husband’s family and those he considered family but aren’t. I remember one of his friends who he considers family asking me, “Do you think you could help by cleaning the house?” I told her, “I am just too tired. I need to sleep.” She was disappointed but I didn’t care. I saw my family show up and leave to go Christmas shopping together. I didn’t go and didn’t want any presents. What would be the point of more stuff? Instead I kept searching for a quiet place to get some sleep.

I was confused then, wondering how I forgot it was Christmas day? Then I felt like it didn’t matter because it was just another day anyway. I wished it wasn’t so full of family and friends. I just wanted them to all go away. They were ruining it. I remember crying quite a bit at this time from being so tired and frustrated that I couldn’t get sleep for family being around.

I ended up in a hidden room. There was a man inside who opened the doors. I saw a long table inside and a hallway leading to a bathroom. I sat down at a table and closed my eyes to rest. The table was very long and I wondered why everyone was trying to set up the kitchen table when this one was already there? The room was cluttered, but who cared?

Moments later more of my husband’s family arrived. I opened my eyes feeling more rested and then opened up a box. Inside were house shoes. I took out a pair and put them on. They fit. My SIL was also putting on some slippers. She was pleased mine fit and asked me if I had gotten enough sleep. I said I was better.

Interpretation

I think this dream is asking me to confront some issues I am currently not wanting to deal with. One is my husband and our relationship. Another is family. Christmas symbolizes family togetherness, reunions, and celebrations. I am not feeling any of those things and want to avoid it all. In fact, I feel like my family ruins Christmas for me. I just want to sleep (avoid it all) and am extremely tired and frustrated. The slippers indicate I am feeling sluggish or insecure or that I am being lazy or may need to relax.

Dream: Renovated Garage and Piranha in the Toilet

I was at my mom’s house and she was having her garage renovated. I saw it and it enormous and completely cleaned out. I went into my old bedroom and noticed that there was water coming in through an electrical outlet. There were red furnishings nearby and so I moved them to safety. At the time I was going to take the trash out and had gone into the room thinking I could take the trash through the window as a shortcut. I changed my mind and went toward the front door but I never had the cans in my hands. They were just in my mind.

Then I was standing over a toilet looking inside. I saw it was full of clothing. Then a huge fish came out of the bottom and began to eat the clothes. I looked closer and realized it was a piranha. It shocked me and I thought it dangerous to have a piranha in the toilet. What would happen if someone sat down on the toilet? Would it eat their behind? lol One of my kids was with me and I asked him, “Hey, look what’s in the toilet!” The fish had retreated and so I had to lure him out. I found some folded laundry, picked up a shirt and put it in the water, jiggling it to get its attention. The fish came out and began to eat the shirt. I woke up just as I was about to jerk the shirt out with the fish attached.

Interpretation

I am in a period of idleness and inactivity (garage). The renovation of it indicates I am overcoming my judgement of this. Taking out trash is getting rid of old and negative behaviors/patterns. The water coming into the room indicates hidden emotion connected to trying to rid myself of these negative patterns. Red is anger. Toilets are a release of emotions. Finding a piranha in the toilet means something is eating me up inside but is at a subconscious level and trying to come through. It is eating clothing, so it is eating at my public self or how I am perceived by others. Maybe I am afraid of how others will view me if I deal with whatever is eating me up inside?

Raisins

Dream: Too Many Raisins

This was a short dream where I was eating cereal and it was almost all raisins. I was freaking out because I didn’t want raisins in my cereal. I was pulling them out one by one but there were so many I felt I would never succeed in riding myself of them.

Interpretation

Cereal is the start of a new stage in my life –  New beginnings. Raisins represents negative forces that are working against me. There are too many and I am losing hope of riding myself of them.

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March Through May – Let Go or Hang On?

There are currently 5 gamma ray bursts, some of significant size, heading toward Earth. 5 at a time is more than I’ve ever seen. This on the heels of almost continual geomagnetic storms where the K-Index shoots into the red zone (currently in the yellow zone) combines to make for quite an energy onslaught. Add to this Venus retrograde in Aries (later shifting into Pisces) and you may be feeling a bit on-again, off-again. One minute buzzing with energy and the next exhausted or just unmotivated. If you’ve been feeling it, hang on because this entire month is set to be a crazy ride and my guidance indicates it will continue into May.

For me the energy onslaught has had mixed results. I’ve been slightly bi-polar but nothing extreme, just kiddie rollercoaster stuff. My guidance is very quiet but not gone. Their messages are less vocal and more intuitive, sentences and visuals infrequent and tending to arise in dreamtime rather than during the day. I feel as if I’ve been let loose to test my new wings. Will I be able to fly or will I stay grounded in 3D? This is all part of the shift into 5D apparently. The rollercoastering is normal and will eventually stabilize. Where first I was on a major rollercoaster ride going from high bliss states down into near suicidal depression, I am now experiencing less intense shifts from one extreme to the other. Bliss has turned into a calm, happy acceptance and the depression is more of an irritable restlessness. Eventually (I am told) I will remain on a pretty even keel depending on what vibration I finally settle into.

If you’re family members have not been affected by the intense energies, noticing or commenting on the ascension energies in their own way, then they may not for some time. There is still a large group who have not chosen to accept the invitation and they may never accept it. I am told to expect many to exit this life and try again via a new body. This is a repeat from around 2014 when many were choosing to exit.

Many children, mostly those born in the early 2000’s, will begin to be affected by the energies right now. Emotional outbursts, minor (sometimes major) illness, and other setbacks may manifest. There are some who have already adjusted and may begin to express ideas and thoughts relating to spiritual and metaphysical subjects – dreams, spirit guides, imaginary friends, energy, empathy, questioning, etc. My daughter was born in 2008 and I have already noticed that her normally overly emotional tone has skyrocketed. She is also asking questions about dreams and telling me more of her dreams. She’s the only one of my children who saw Spirit as a child and told me about what she was seeing. She also had a whole group (5 or 6) of imaginary friends she played with, each with their own name and personality. I suspect she will eventually regain memory of some of this in the future.

Venus retrograde began to affect me almost a week before Venus actually went retrograde. My dreams introduced me to it via an entire dream sequence about me helping an ex-boyfriend move out of his apartment. So fitting of Venus retrograde! Since then, I have been on a journey of reflection and introspection not only in dreamtime but actively during my waking hours. Most of the reflection is on more recent relationships with family and partners. Thus far, I am finding this healing not uncomfortable but not pleasant either. There are some things I do not want to confront or deal with.

If you are currently in a relationship the Venus retrograde may ask you to inspect the relationship further. What are your motives? Is the relationship giving back what you are putting into it? Are you happy? Content? In Apathy? Where do you see the relationship going? How are the patterns of this relationship similar to other relationship patterns? Can you break certain unhealthy patterns? Add to this inspection the intense energies and you get a sometimes volatile combination. I suspect (though it hasn’t happened yet) that my emotions will begin to bubble up uncontrollably sometime in April and maybe into May. This may or may not be the same for others, I am not getting that specific information, but with my fiery tendencies (Leo after all) and Venus retrograde heading into Pisces in April, I may just say “enough is enough”. My goal is to try to keep my emotions under control – both the fires of anger and passion alike. 🙂

How to mitigate these energies? The best you can! Everyone is a little different. I’ve found that my normal outlet – high intensity exercise – does not work for me right now. I run out of steam early on and end up exhausted, in low blood sugar mode or just feeling wrong. I am finding art, music, dance and other creative outlets working much better for me. Writing, meditation, yoga, long baths, silence, nature (especially soaking up the sun) are all helping much more than intense exercise. I actually didn’t do any sort of exercise for over a week and felt better for it. Yesterday I tried running for 20 minutes since lifting weights has not been working out and even running made me feel like death afterward. My body is protesting loudly saying, “Rest! You need to heal right now.”

Another little tidbit, a bit of future advice coming from my guidance, the next few months may bring about some abrupt changes for some who have been resisting change for a while. Work-related issues abound as do familial ones. I am reminded of my sister’s situation right now. She and her family were recently evicted from their home. She feels like her life is crumbling down around her. These kind of life hiccups will run rampant. They are meant as little wake-up calls to get you to notice patterns and habits that are not serving you.

The picture I chose for this post is purposeful. This time period is going to ask each of us, “What do you need to hang onto and what do you need to let go of?” If you hang onto those things that you shouldn’t then it will be just like the picture. Eventually you will be hanging onto a tiny thread and, ultimately, it will break.

 

 

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OBE: Walking Backwards

Not surprised I astral projected this morning. I requested it prior bed. I am so blessed to be able to just request it and it happen.

Prior to the projection I had a dream and vision I want to recount first.

Dream: Family Restroom

I was sent to a new school against my wishes. I had forgotten my lunch in my rush to get to school. I was thinking about having to buy lunch. I felt in my pocket. My daughter had slipped half of a cookie sandwich into it.

I joined a group inside a room. They were practicing a music performance.  The class was preparing to go on stage. I saw the music sheets but it was scattered with musical notes popping off the page. Mostly I saw the flat sign. I remember hiding the fact that I was sneaking bits of the cookie.

I headed to the bathroom and when I returned the entire class was gone and a cleaning lady was inside. Wandering the unfamiliar halls, the principal asked me where I was going. I told her I was lost and suppose to be performing. She told me to follow a girl who was with another group who was also to perform but they were to recite lines of a poem. I lingered there and was asked why I was there. I told the teacher I was told to go there.

I followed the girl and ended up in the lunchroom sitting next to a high school boy who was a junior or senior. I was distinctly aware I was only 10, even seeing myself with this realization. I had blonde hair and was a bit chubby. The boy was dark blonde with thick, unruly hair. The boy took a liking to me. He was one who did not follow the rules. We got along well and he said to me, “I need to keep you around.” He made me feel special. There was a sense that I fit in with people like him, not with everyone else who followed the rules without question. The boy was not bad, he just pushed limits and questioned authority when something didn’t make sense to him. I was the same. I liked myself for being that way.

Then I was walking with the same girl trying to get back to class. I knew the school was four stories high with four sections on either side of us. She asked me, “Where is the family restroom?” I pointed to it. There was a sign on the door of an entire family walking behind a person in a wheelchair. I said, “I guess everyone goes in there together.” I laughed about it and the image of the blue sign with the family on it is the last I recall of the dream.

Vision

I woke at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I fell into the in-between at once point and saw an image of a pig in a tutu dancing. When I woke I heard the word “swine” and recalled others dreams I have had with pigs in them. I knew it was a message.

Interpretation

My thoughts on the dream are that I was being schooled in my present life situation and what I am to do right now – focus on family. I am against this and feel a bit lost. The number 4 dominates. The pig vision could refer to selfishness, opulence of a situation where I think one thing is true but it is not.

OBE: Walking Backwards

Something clued me in to the fact that I could detach from my body. I took the opportunity and sat up OOB. I felt odd as I stood up. My blankets were stuck to my feet and I was not in my bedroom but somewhere else. I could see the front door from my bed. It was very close. As I walked toward the door, I was talking aloud to myself the entire time. I said,”I need some clarity please.” I had assumed the strange feeling I had was because I needed more energy, yet I could see very clearly and vividly and all my perceptions seemed in tact. The closer I got to the door the more the feeling bothered me and the more I talked. I realized now I was talking to one of my guides because I felt the answers coming back to me. The reply I kept getting was, “Healing.”

When I got to the door I could see out the window. The window was very distinct with four panels. When I walked outside and down a step I could feel the cool night air hit me. It was chilly. Out across from me I could see the street lights of an unfamiliar neighborhood. The strange feeling was still bothering me, though, and I ended up coming back into my body.

I lingered for a bit in body and received a vision of a man wearing what looked like a green, glittery alien suit. There was a bright colored symbol on his forehead right where his third-eye would have been. He was short, too, like kid sized. Was he an alien or was my guide being funny? I had no fear, just curiosity. I am not even sure it was a suit….

As I caught the vision I heard, “Healing.” I knew my visitor was helping me with healing.

As I left my body again I announced my agreement to receive healing. I once again sat up OOB talking the whole time. I was in the same bedroom. This time I pulled the blankets off me before I got up. The strange feeling was still with me. Again I could see very clearly the front door as light came through from outside. I headed directly for it and as I got closer it disappeared and I floated outside. The strange feeling was really strong and I heard again, “Healing.” I walked toward the street, looking to my left. I saw the bright white outline of clouds and a brilliant light. It looked beautiful, like a sunrise in Heaven, but I shifted my focus to my right. There was a sense of, “Don’t look!.” Instead I focused my attention down toward the greenery at my feet. It was like clover or some similar plant and was cool to the touch. I knelt down and put my hands in it and said aloud, “This is healing. I am healing.” There was a sense of peace in doing this. Even with my eyes closed I could see the entire scene in which I found myself. The night sky and green grass dominated.

Looking up at the white of the street curb I became curious. Where was I? I could see houses but then it completely changed to a city street. There were tall buildings and cobblestone streets. I walked into the streets and looked down them. The buildings went on forever and it looked like an ally. I began to head down the street, saying aloud that I wanted to fly and trying to lift myself up into the air. The voice said, “You can’t.” I felt magnetically pulled down, noticing the strange feeling was stronger than ever.

I turned around, my back facing the city. I was still talking aloud and saying something like, “I want to see what’s behind me.” I began to feel myself pulled into the city. It was like a suction cup energy and I was floating backwards. I couldn’t see where I was going, only where I had been.

I came back into my body quickly and my heart was pounding furiously. Within seconds the alarm clock went off.

Considerations

The feeling still bothers me. What was it? It is hard to describe. It felt sorta like I couldn’t breathe, like something was sitting on my chest but it was purely energetic. It caused me to think my energy was low, but that obviously was not the case because the OBE was clear and solid. My best guess is that I was sensing the healing occurring at the physical level somehow.

The OBE indicates that I am not wanting to look forward, or not needing to at this time. I am in a period of intense healing, which is made clear to me over and over. I think the white light and clouds could be indicative of going Home, or my draw to leave this body and life behind me. Thus, me being told not to look.

 

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Documenting Dreams

I’ve been sleeping deeply again and struggling to recall dreams. It is not as difficult as it was just a couple of weeks ago, though.

Dream: Dissertation 

In this dream I was with one man most of the dream. We were classmates at the doctorate level. He had just completed his dissertation and handed me a very thick manuscript. It was ridiculously thick and heavy, with pages numbering in the thousands at least. I commented that I could not believe how long it was and joked about how it must not have all come from him. He got serious and said, “It is everything I’ve learned.” With his comment I got a flash of lifetimes upon lifetimes upon lifetimes. It was so fast that I cannot recall specific lifetimes but I understood that much work had gone into his compilation and I revered him for it.

Throughout this dream we were walking through various doors into rooms that looked like very expensive and ancient libraries with wall-to-wall shelves filled with books.

Interpretation

This actually felt like I was hanging out with a friend and we were comparing notes on our spiritual progress through this classroom called Life.

Dream: Selecting a Crystal

This dream is hard to recall but I spent much of it going through crystals in order to pick the right one for me. The last one I remember and the one I finally chose was a rainbow colored crystal about the size of my hand and in the shape of a thick wand with a jagged tip.

Interpretation

This dream felt like my guidance was helping me with healing, urging me to participate in this healing.

Dream: Gathering

Most of this dream was in a kitchen that was brightly lit. We were preparing dinner for a group. I remember mostly that someone had made deviled eggs but when I took a bite I realized the egg portion was actually a boiled potato with the skin still on. It was way too big to be an egg, too, as it was the size of a potato. It had a small hole dug out where the filling was placed, just like a deviled egg.

There was a man who was at the gathering who spoke with a thick accent and kept staring at me. I knew him but wasn’t sure how. I also knew he was interested in me as I could feel his intentions. Interested just meaning he was curious and observant but there was also a romantic undertone with this interest. I noticed his eyes following me as I moved about. We had picked him up from the streets. He had been homeless and wandering wearing only a thick coat. He came with us to the gathering and ate with us. One of the women in my group told me, “_____ is interested in you. He is telling everyone, too.” She looked over her should at him and I saw that he was sitting across the room talking to a woman and kept glancing in my direction. I cannot recall the name of this man but I remember what he looks like and it is very similar to a person I know online.

Once we were finished with dinner, everyone went home. I traveled with some of my group to a shop that sold food. It was very European looking with a glass store front and very small. There was a woman standing behind the counter cooking a very large zucchini squash. It was being roasted like a hot dog on a skewer and the woman kept basting it with a reddish colored liquid.

Interpretation

I am still healing (kitchen) and so is a large number of my group. I want to focus on starting anew and it may be something I consider to go against the grain or be judged badly by others (deviled egg). I am being lazy (potato) about this start, though. There is someone I do not know well (foreign man) who has interest in me. This feels similar to other dreams where I am cautioned that there may be someone who is deceiving me. Maybe this is the man? Maybe he is getting to others like in the dream? At the end I am likely discussing the future and the abundance or fertility that awaits me (squash) if I stop being lazy.

Dream: Water Park Without Water

Again I was with a group and we were contemplating going on a slide in a water park. I remember having a discussion with someone about it and getting a feeling that they were not in agreement. Then I watched a dark haired woman picking up jewelry from the ground. She eventually was the first to go into the water park and walk backwards up one of the slides. There was no water on the slide and so you could walk the slides easily. I followed her up one.

Interpretation

There is a discussion going on about my self-worth (jewelry). I am picking up jewelry, so trying to regain my self-worth. There was too much emotion (waterslide) but it is drying up (no water). Going up the waterslide means I am taking back control because to go down a slide is to lose control.

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Lucid Dream: Subject Complement

Slept deeply. Woke at 5am furious and with certain thoughts and intentions I won’t go into detail about now. Fell into the in-between.

Lucid Dream: Subject Complement

I was sitting at the bar in my kitchen looking at my phone feeling very much awake and aware. On the phone was an image of my WP page and a list of comments about a certain blog post I had written. I don’t know what the blog post was about specifically but it was a combination of all the thoughts I had previously been having prior to entry into this dreamstate.

I noticed comments by my friend Molly (love you!) and then below her was a comment from someone who has not commented on my blog in a very long time – Silent Winds of Change. I know him and am part of his FB group, as is my friend Molly. His comments were interesting and different. Rather than comment on the post content he was proof-reading the post. lol The first comment was about a misspelling but I can’t remember the word I misspelled now. The second comment he made was about the subject complement. He said, “Of course all women love honeys bee” Then he said, “Look at the subject complement.”

When I read the comment I saw the image on the screen of my phone change. It went all black except for a tiny pinprick of light. As I focused on it, it grew larger and larger until an image appeared of a tiny, golden colored honey bee sitting on the concrete. There was a young man standing over it looking at it in awe. The tiny bee was perfectly detailed all the way to its shimmering tiny wings, it’s body so brightly golden it glowed.

As soon as I began to say aloud what I was seeing, the image began to shift and parts of it started to move jaggedly from one side to the other, like the connection was breaking up. I said aloud, “Do you see that!? Is it moving?” I turned and my youngest, wearing only his diaper, was standing up on the bar stool next to me. He looked and he said, “No.”

I looked down and my phone disappeared and I blinked my eyes, trying to figure out what happened. I knew I was asleep but it felt so real and I was trying to get in touch with my physical body by blinking rapidly. I could feel the stone counter top cold under my fingertips.

Then the phone reappeared and the image returned. This time I could see eyes popping up all over the screen. The eyes would open and look at me. Several at a time came up, all of them open and looking at me. I began to cry as I watched this happening, as if a message was coming through but I cannot remember any particular message. The tears began to drip out of my physical eyes, bringing my awareness to my physical body but I would shift between awake and dreaming, back and forth and confused as to which reality was which.

My alarm went off, bringing me softly awake, tears still dripping out of my eyes. I heard the song, Total Eclipse of the Heart – “Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart. There’s nothing I can do, it’s a total eclipse of the heart”.

Interpretation

I’m not really sure what the meaning of this experience was but the symbolism of the bee comes to mind straight away. Bees represent balance, nurturing of family, community, love, teamwork, healthy communication, etc. There is a link to the hexagon and the number 6, the number of the planet Venus (currently retrograde), symbolic of love, communication, balance and union.

Honey is also mentioned and this is what is said about honey:

Symbolically, honey represents nourishment, reward, sweetness, sensuality and wealth. Honey is associated with gold in many myths and legends. This equates it to reward achieved after an arduous undertaking. As bees are ceaseless in productivity, the lesson translates to mean something like: With hard work, we earn the gold.

The message itself about subject complement is unclear to me. I was never good with grammatical terms and though I understand enough about what a subject complement is, I don’t see the link at all. I think “bee” is the subject compliment in that sentence. Perhaps the message is to be or “see” (as in the eyes) the bee and reap the “gold” of the honey?

When I awoke I was much calmer, the anger had dissipated and I no longer wanted to follow through with all of my set intentions.

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Dreams, Themes and Ship”Wrecked”

I’ve not been sleeping well the last few nights and dealing with all kinds of emotion for release. It’s been difficult with the sleep deprivation, a lingering head cold, and single parent status (husband is out of town) to remain centered through it all. I was finally able to get some decent sleep last night after taking a Benadryl along with herbal sleep supplements but I woke in a sour, resistant mood.

There has been a pretty much on-going geomagnetic storm since March 1st. This is after a short reprieve from a similar pattern. We’re being pummeled by the sun and in-between by gamma rays. I never know how I am going to react to these cycles. Sometimes I am feel great and other times exhausted, like a sloth-woman, or emotionally sensitive like now. I’ve actually gone through all of the above in a short period of time with the most common response being tired and sluggish, like all my energy has been sucked out of me.

planetary-k-index

Dream Themes

I am at least recalling some dreams but have not really had time or the motivation to write them down. There is a theme that I spotted recently that should be noted. This theme is that someone in my life is deceiving me. It has shown up via various symbols, the two most recent being a lamprey and a raccoon. The lamprey dream I documented already. The raccoon dream was two nights ago. In the dream I was on a boat (another repeating symbol) and trying to get away from evil, aquatic raccoons (lol). Only one out of ten was remaining and he was hiding in the boat somewhere. I was warned that he would hurt me, even kill me, if allowed close enough.

The boat theme continues to come up. This symbol indicates that I am ready to deal with and cope with my emotions. Thankfully the boats I am on are always in good condition as is the water.

Dream: Snakes

Short dream last night where I was visiting my sister at her new place in the country. She was located in another state. It was one of the more southern states but which one, I don’t know. I remember thinking Kentucky but knowing that was wrong. The weather was cooler than Texas, much more temperate. She was growing raspberries and had just harvested some. I remember tasting them.

In the dream I spoke of being offered a job in another state, but I could not for the life of me remember which state. My sister told me I could buy and RV and live on the 40 acres that came with her rental house. I went looking at the land and it was spectacular. Definitely much greener than Texas. I pointed out a spot in the trees saying I could live there. My sister said, “That’s the river.” I looked and saw it was indeed a small, crystal clear river. It had blended in somehow. Then I saw tons of small snakes in the water and on the banks. They were all colors and sizes and so many that they were squirmy and crawling over each other to get away. I saw their markings were like those of the rattle snake. I was not afraid of them, though, but fascinated.

Interpretation

I believe this dream was mostly a discussion of my life, considerations and current issues. These issues are of a delicate nature (raspberries) and I am being reminded to take my time and be kind to myself. The RV is movement, the water is emotion and the snakes are the Kundalini and/or transformation.

snake

Dream: 18

This dream is somewhat blurry now but the part I recall most vividly is being in my old bedroom at my mom’s house laying in bed talking with a classmate. He had just turned 18 and was romantically interested in me. My perception of him was as Hispanic but he resembled the same man I often see in my dreams. He was very eager to stay in communication with me, repeating that he was 18 and old enough now and asking me for my email address. I wouldn’t give it to him, telling him he already knew it. He wanted to meet me every morning before class from 7:30-8:30am. He said he would pick me up in his car. I asked what we would do and he said, “I don’t know. Talk.” I saw his intentions in my mind and told him, “Don’t you know I’m 40 years old and have three kids?” He didn’t seem to care. In my mind I went over the pros and cons of exploring a relationship with him. I was extremely drawn to him but kept seeing my children and my responsibilities as blocking any possibility of us being together.

Interpretation

More considerations coming out, these having to do with communication and rejection of a part of myself. When I woke up I was angry.

jeepDream: Black Jeep

I was attending a ceremony at a temple with my friend, her husband and a group of their friends. The man performing the ceremony was older with gray hair, a beard and a large belly. He took us through fields and into a mountain temple where he began to sing/chant in another language a very powerful invocation. His voice was operatic and he was reading/singing the runes off a stone pillar in the center of this temple.

The entire time I felt out of place. My friend and her friends were all connected and had similar beliefs and lifestyles. They all ate vegetarian and wore handmade clothing made of hand woven cloth. On their feet they wore sandals and some were barefoot.

I went with the group to a house where we would all be staying. As the food was being prepared I went into my bedroom. I found a bible laying on the table. It was my friend’s. I opened it and a piece of paper fell out. On it was marked scripture and my friend’s thoughts. One was in Corinthians and the note was that this was what she believed Oneness was. There were other slips of paper but I can’t remember what they said.

When I went back to the group they had all eaten already and offered me food. I told them I did not like veggies for breakfast and got disapproving looks. They had boiled or poached eggs and I took three. I was offered some coffee but told it had in it an antibiotic. I thought it odd and asked which one and was told Zyvox. I argued with them saying it was an anti-viral. I decided not to drink the coffee. lol

Then my friend and her family were leaving. I watched them walk away and noticed they had left their Jeep. They had left the keys in the ignition. I tried to lock it and found it was still running, so I took the keys out and tried to lock it. The Jeep began to drive very fast by itself. What was odd is that from inside the windows were all black and I couldn’t see. I began to panic and pulled the emergency brake. That stopped it. I re-inserted the keys and pushed in. This turned off the Jeep and allowed me to lock it.

Interpretation

It felt like I was trying to come to terms with conflicting lifestyles with this dream. When I woke I felt jealous of my friend for having a spouse that had similar spiritual beliefs to her own. There was consideration that I must change myself and life more than I am willing to. There was a feeling when I woke up that I didn’t want to ever be “pregnant” again and a total resistance to the transformation I am going through. I saw it as too painful and told my guidance, “I never want to experience a connection to anyone like that again.” The Jeep represents taking action – doing. I feel unable to control it and see it as “bad” (black) or the unknown. The emergency brake is me indicating I want it to stop, I don’t want to go forward. There was also a feeling that it may be time for me to go along with my husband’s spiritual beliefs again but it brought a feeling of uneasiness. It makes me feel stuck.

This caused me to remember I had an entire dream sequence where I was purposefully closing doors and trapping myself in a tiny room. My friends would open doors, smiling and encouraging me, and I would angrily grab the knob and slam it in their faces. I did this over and over until the doors stopped opening. I stood inside the tiny, claustrophobic room and slumped over the sink.

When I woke up a part of a song was repeating in my mind – “Did I build this ship to wreck?” Goes perfect with the boat theme.

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Just Imagine

I want you to imagine if you had access to all your memories at any time. A direct link to every moment of every day of your life in complete detail, no interference. Like a movie you could play over and over. How would you use it? How might it affect your reality?

There is a series on Netflix that I have come upon recently that has an episode you should watch. Well, actually I recommend the entire series but this particular episode really impacted me. The series is called Black Mirror. This episode, number 3 in season 1, is set sometime during the future where everyone has a chip inserted behind their ears that records every moment of every day of their lives. They can play moments from their lives anytime they want both on screens in their eyes and for anyone to see on television screens.

Let me know what you think. 🙂

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Lucid Dream: Visit to My First Home

I was sick all day yesterday with a head cold (sore throat, congestion, stuffy nose) and did not get much sleep the night before because of a flare up of IBS brought on by eating salmon. The day seemed like it stretched on and on with no ending. I was dead tired but couldn’t sleep so the slow-motion of the day was difficult to bear. My youngest never took a nap, either. Seems like when I need a nap, he doesn’t. lol My husband is in Florida for a week so it is just me and the kiddos. Thankfully all three of my children went to bed without issue.

I slept very deeply and woke around 5:00am wide awake. I turned on my fan to block out street noise and create a kind of white noise effect which helps me to sleep when I wake too early. It did it’s job.

Lucid Dream: Visit to My First Home

I had been in a dream where I was laying on the ground with a blanket along with many others. It felt like we were watching the stars together but also like we were all in a “class” and waiting to head off on our separate journeys. I don’t recall anything spectacular in the sky. I was too distracted by a black man who came to assist me with my chakras and healing. What I recall most was him asking to help. He kissed me and his lips seemed fluffy, like clouds and I told him about it because it surprised me. Then my chakras began to flare up starting at the root, but it was too distracting and I disengaged from him. It was time to go, then, and people began to leave, picking up their blankets and going off in different directions. I did the same.

Then I was standing and looking at a tropical plant that was in a raised flower bed. It was not doing well, though. There were bulbs planted around it on four sides and they were sprouting all around it. It indicated it was Spring and I wondered what kind of flowers they were. Then I had a thought, “Everything mom tries to grow, dies.” It’s a family joke. My mom always said (still says) she had a brown thumb.

All of a sudden I realized where I was. It was my first childhood home, the home I lived in until I was 9 years old. I was standing on the patio adjacent to the living room. I was delighted! Immediately, I turned and scanned the yard to see what it looked like and what time period I was visiting. It was well manicured, chain link fence still up, swing set and tree house missing except for a tiny little fence. What I saw indicated that I was likely visiting it after we moved and the new owners came in and removed the tree house and swing set

I walked the sidewalk around the side of the house and to the pool area. To my surprise, the pool was still there. Hadn’t the new owners filled it in? I went through the fence gate and surveyed the area. There was no pool furniture and the pebble concrete patio was overgrown with weeds. The wading pool was still there. I took a closer look at it, remembering the lobster-sized crawdad I found and kept in there and all the times we use to splash water from the pool into it just because we could.

The swimming pool itself was a beautiful crystal blue color like it was being kept up by someone. I laughed inwardly because my mom was always struggling to keep it blue and it usually had a green tinge to it even when in top condition. She would be excited to see it looking so perfect. It looked just like I remembered, the sides smooth and round and the slide and diving board right where they should be.

I decided to jump into the shallow end. When I landed I didn’t go under like I expected. I forgot the last time I swam in the pool I was 9. Being full grown, the water came up to my chest and I could stand without issue. I could feel the coolness of the water and delighted in it. I didn’t linger, though, but walked up the steps and out, flinging water purposefully like I use to do as a child.

Still exploring, I noticed the pool equipment was still there as was the wood privacy fence. As I headed toward the diving board I noticed a tiny, brown poodle waddling around by the side of the pool. I saw her and knelt down, recognizing her immediately as one of the poodles we had when we lived there. In fact, she and the two other poodles lived long lives that stretched past our departure date.

I spoke to her saying, “Are you Sut-Sue or Bo-Jo (short for Mr. Bojangles)?” I couldn’t figure out which poodle she was yet she was brown and round like Sut-Sue was. I petted her for a while, smiling from ear-to-ear and thinking how I needed to tell my mom everything as soon as I could. Again I said aloud, “Are you Sut-Sue or Bo-Jo?” It was like I was trying to remember the third poodle, and my favorite, but couldn’t.

Something from outside the dream environment caught my attention then and I woke up hearing my alarm going off. I smiled and then began to cry tears of remembrance.

Considerations

I had such a happy childhood growing up in that house. After we moved it was like my world fell apart. I missed that house/time all the way into my late teens. When I finally visited there at the age of 19, after my father’s death, it was nothing like I remembered and I was able to put that time in my life behind me. Obviously, though, I still consider that time in my life one of the happiest.

I realize now that I might have been visiting the house at an earlier time than I thought. My earliest memories of Sut-Sue were as old and blind with gray hair and barely able to move. In this lucid experience she was brown and much younger. The missing swing set and tree house would also fit for an earlier time period. The tree house was built by my dad for my older sister and the swing set was much later than that. Yet the pool was built when my mom was pregnant with me. Maybe I was visiting that same year? Or it could be that I was in an alternate reality, one of my own creation. The latter is most likely but then who knows.