I finally have time to share a bit about my week and all the ups and downs since my husband got a concussion last Saturday. I’ll start with the physical world crap and end with the spiritual.
Physical Crapola
The good news – Everything in my world is going good.
The house appraised for what it should ($100k over what we paid for it just 4 years ago!) and the refinance is going smoothly with no hiccups.
I got my first paycheck and put it directly into savings! My husband got a bonus as well, which is always a positive.
We have decided to “donate” our Mazda5 to my MIL because her car is always breaking down. It is costing the family because we have pay for the repairs. Her Subaru has over 250K miles and is just not worth the money going into it anymore. I am not 100% sure if I am going to ask my two BIL’s to help me pay off the Mazda or not yet. The deal is that if I/we pay if off then when it breaks down (which it will eventually) we don’t have to contribute to the repairs because we gave her a car with $4k still owed on it. So far she is resisting taking our car but we are working on getting her to let go of hers. She gets very attached to her stuff.
If/when the Mazda goes bye-bye then we may buy another, newer car, but I am sitting on that decision for now. We don’t need another car since I commute with my husband to work.
Work is still going good. I am now putting new hires into the system regularly, inputting invoices, reconciling credit cards, managing the petty cash and company credit card, typing up scopes for jobs (quite interesting I must say) and other things as needed. My husband said he wants to get my home office set up soon so that when school starts I can work from home. I was unsure about it and he said it was a go because my immediate boss (the lady with cancer I am learning from) has already agreed that I can work from home. We’ll see if that actually pans out when the time comes but if it does then I have officially landed THE PERFECT job. HA!
My birthday turned out good despite me being in a sour mood the whole first half. I spent time at my Mom’s swimming and catching up. We had a small family celebration and then I went home and received my presents. I got a fantastic new rug for my living room (please Monty don’t eat it!) and a Bissell Crosswave. My husband also got a used table we are going to refinish and put an epoxy top on. We want to emulate Joe’s Crab Shack’s tables and put family memories on the table top like a scrapbook. I’m not too happy about being a year older but I’ll get over it. At least I still look like I’m 30-something. 😉
Okay, so the bad news…..
Early this week my mom sent me images of what at first looked like a burned animal of some kind. Upon further inspection I realized it was my sister’s husband. I called my mom and she told me he had wrecked a Honda motorcycle. He shattered his eye socket, cracked his skull, broke some ribs, punctured a lung and got awful road rash.
I then learned that they had their car impounded a month prior and had been given the bike in a trade just two days earlier. The car was impounded because it had no front headlight, no bumper, no registration, no insurance and my BIL had no driver’s license. They had been struggling to make ends meet to the point of not having any money and bartering all their things to make ends meet.
On top of everything my sister has an infection in her jaw from a rotten tooth. She has to have surgery immediately but doesn’t have the money or any insurance. My mom took her to the dentist, paid for the visit and the antibiotics and painkillers but no surgery has been scheduled.
My mom refuses to step in and bail them out again. She informed me that prior to the car being impounded that my sister and BIL had been given a perfectly functional car as a second vehicle by their landlord. Just given it. They then opted to sell it for cash. Similarly, my mom had given them a truck and they sold it rather than use it. And prior to that my mom bought my sister two cars on different occasions with similar results. My mom said, “It seems to me like your sister is getting exactly what she deserves.”
I had been considering getting my MIL’s old car and giving it to my sister but my mom talked me out of it. It was/is obvious that my sister and BIL are incapable of making good, sound decisions. They don’t think ahead when they get money but spend it on the spot like it is a fire in their pockets. If I or someone else gives them a car the same situation will likely result.
I spent most of my birthday visit with my mom discussing what to do about my sister. We came up with all kinds of solutions. My husband said he would offer her a job and when he did she declined saying she had no transportation. She did not try and find a way around it or look to problem solve. She uses her criminal background as an excuse to not work, saying she can’t be hired anywhere. Yet she turns down a job paying $15/hr handed right to her that overlooks her criminal record!
It was finally decided that we will do “nothing”. It sucks, though. If I still recognized my sister as my sister then I would not hesitate to give her my Mazda instead of my MIL. But she is not that person anymore. I don’t know who she is.
Spiritual
All kinds of strange in terms of spiritual experiences from cryptic messages to crazy syncs and intense dreams.
For example, I got a message one morning: Fire. Two Weeks. I didn’t say anything to anyone about it all morning. When my daughter and I went shopping I felt I should tell her for some odd reason. She immediately responded with, “Mom! I had a dream that Nana’s house was on fire!” It was so odd and I don’t know what to make of it. The two weeks will be up next Sunday, so I guess we’ll find out then.
Then there are the weird “coincidences”. At work, I was discussing a problem with the lady I work under. We had decided to call the company in question. She reached for the phone and the intercom comes up telling her she has a call from the company we were about to call! This happened twice in one week, too.
And my Mom and I and my daughter and I have been in sync as well. It is as if we read each other’s minds at times!
I’ve also been visiting other timelines/dimension in my sleep, at least that is what I have concluded.
Dream: Fire Room – August 1st
There was a whole dream where my husband and I went to another dimension to visit the people we know now. None of them knew us and we saw them all living together in a community. The houses were all rectangular with no insulation. Many were unpainted particle board but very large.
Inside they were having a large meal and I looked around noticing none of them recognized me or my husband. The world was completely different than ours. The group was in hiding after a major world upheaval. They didn’t have things we did. For example, they didn’t have sharpie markers, only dry erase (lol). They also didn’t have electricity and used a fire to cook the meal.
Toward the end I was cold and went to a room where a huge fire (contentment) was burning. There was a man and girl inside and the man asked me why I was there. I told him to warm myself by the fire. He said it was the warmest room in the house. It was vast with high ceilings and a raging fire contained within the fireplace. I leaned on a counter near the fire and warmed myself. The whole room was orange tinged.
Then my husband came in with two broadswords (strength, decisiveness, masculine). He wanted to show us all something. He took both swords, swung them wide while chanting words. Glyphs appeared on the floor in neon blue. He said only certain people could see the glyphs. I could read them and said they were the recipe for making a certain special wine. The other glyphs from the other sword were not visible to us. He said only someone of the Dark could see them. He said a certain name but I can’t recall it now.
I’ve also had Spirit visiting me, as has my daughter. My daughter told me she keeps getting touched. One night she came to me freaked out and said, “Mom, I was in bed on my phone and I felt someone touch my shoulder like this (touched my shoulder). It freaked me out. I don’t want to sleep in my room tonight.”
The night before that I had this dream encounter:
Inside I lay down in bed and rested. A Spirit came to my right and began to talk to me. I recognized that he was influencing me and wanted me to listen to him. I wondered if he was trying to be sexual but didn’t do anything, so I just lay there pretending to sleep. When he thought I was asleep he leaned over me and I felt the stubble of his beard as if he was going to kiss me. Then my husband came in and leaned over me the same way and the Spirit backed off. I turned to the Spirit and said, “You need to leave.” I didn’t think I would see him but I did, clear as day. He looked like a young teenage boy with light hair and a thin frame.
The next night I had a very powerful dream that seemed to point at something coming.
Dream: Turned Upside Down – August 2nd
The dream began with me meeting up with a group. One man showed me his left ear (listen) was cancerous (something upsetting). It was red and scabby so he covered it with a hat that came down over his ears. I remember thinking it was good that it was cold outside so he could wear the hat.
At the airport I was informed that I had been given an airline ticket. I joined another woman and waited in line but the other woman was called away. I waited and she never returned. I remember thinking, “I guess I am going to travel alone.” I thought about it and was okay with it and felt I could do it alone even though I was going to Europe.
On the plane I sat in a seat facing the opposite direction of the others. They were all watching an in-flight movie. My chair (need for reflection) was wooden, like for a kitchen table, while theirs were regular plane seats.
The plane began its approach. I looked out the window and saw a wooden docking bay with a man standing on it with an orange thing waving it about. I thought it odd how we were landing because we seemed to be hovering and landing vertically, not like a plane at all.
Once we landed we stepped off the plane out onto a green field lined with tall pine trees. There was a group of people mulling about by the side of a plane. They all had fuzzy looking objects in their hands, like makers of some sort. I didn’t have one and knew I needed on to board. I went to the lady giving them out. She handed me one and said, “Do you eat a lot?” I said, “No, not really.” She handed me a large gallon bag full of graham crackers (tendency to care for others needs over my own). I took them and went to the plane.
I walked inside the plane and noticed the inside was two stories. There was a large, golden staircase (transformation) leading to the second level. I stayed on the bottom level and looked around at the spacious interior.
Suddenly the whole plane lurched and rolled over onto its side. I was standing and my entire view spun as I tumble upside down. In the dream it was very real and I got scared, grabbing for something to steady myself but not able to grab onto anything.
The plane stopped and I began to try and find a way out. Everything was upside down. The pilot said all would be fine and to not worry. Everyone else seemed oblivious to the situation but I saw out the window a hill heading through the forest. I knew if the plane moved again we would be rolling for quite a while.
I located the entry and began to head for it, intending to climb up and out. As I began to climb up, the plane lurched again and began to roll. I quickly pulled myself up and out of the door and jumped out. I grabbed onto a vine and watched as the plane rolled down hill.
A man was standing casually on the hill observing the scene. I said, “It’s going downhill!” He said, “Yes, it will land in the lake below.” He just stood there smiling casually as I hung onto the vine, swinging and feeling frantic. I said to him, “What is wrong with you! Why don’t you do something!?” He smiled, calmly as if there was nothing going on, no plane barreling down the hillside. Then he said, “There’s nothing I can do. The 4th (mankind) dynamic has been activated.” When he told me this I burst into tears. The emotion behind the tears reminded me of times when I have been given “bad” news, or news I did not want to hear. The feeling here, though, was that the news was not “bad” but that it was just something I was dreading in that I had a part to play in it and that part was going to “turn my world upside down”.
I woke up still crying and hearing a familiar song playing through my mind – “Destiny…..Lord you live in me as the unchanging.” I wasn’t crying anymore but the emotion that triggered it was still very much present.
I fell into the in-between. In front of me I saw a portal/window open up in vivid color. It looked like I was seeing a Shamanic ceremony taking place. A man was on his knees by a fire chanting. Another man, close to me, was standing with his back to me. He had his arms open and I could see he had a massive erection. I knew that the whole ceremony was to induce the sexual energy but that the man was being helped to channel the energy rather than give in to the sexual urges. I was fascinated but the scene disappeared as I woke.
Based upon all that has transpired physically and spiritually, it seems like the end of this year is going to be an interesting one full of family drama and other surprises. I will continue to focus on just living my life and staying busy for now. It is nice to be busy and productive again. It is especially nice to have extra money to spend. hehe Thus far the tarot reading I did for myself last week has been spot on about the spending. 🙂
Living Life in Between 