Monthly Archives: October 2018

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Dream: Hurricane-Tornado

Well, sleep took a little longer last night. 😦

I keep intercepting messages in the in-between about my “chest” both in dreams and the in-between. Last night, I was talking to someone and I kept feeling like an energy would come into my chest from behind and seemingly “take over”. It concerned me and I kept waking up startled. I was reminded of recent Kundalini events where I experienced something like this in my chest, rising up into my head. I felt a distinct shift as I disengaged and another energy took over. I have also felt an energy come in through the back of my neck and then shoot up through my crown resulting in a similar expansion and/or feeling of release to another.

Dream: Hurricane-Tornado

My partner and I traveled to a small town to visit his family. It felt like I was meeting them for the first time. The town was very small, like a hundred people total. We met up with a man and I was introduced. He did not seem to like me much. It felt like he was just cautious of new people in general.

The rest of the family invited me inside their renovated house (self). They had built a second floor on top of the old family home. It resembled the insides of a bus (going with the crowd), very long with a rounded ceiling and small windows. The walls were covered in paneling that reminded me of a mobile home. It seemed like the family was very poor. They were proud of their accomplishments mentioning how they had lived far too long in poor conditions and were happy to finally have the ability to improve things.

I visited the first floor (old self). It was abandoned and everything was covered in dust and cobwebs (unfinished business or repressed emotion). I didn’t stay there long and joined the others upstairs. One of the daughters in the family got a bedroom on the third floor (new aspect being formed) that was not yet complete. I saw the stairs leading up but did not follow others who went up to see it.

While the others were talking I looked out the window. In the distance I noticed a very strange cloud formation. It was swirling and lightning was coming out of it. The lightning was not normal, though. It seemed to pulsate making the cloud look alive. I pointed out the cloud to the family mentioning to the daughter that it seemed like what I had told her was coming true. I told the others about how I had seen this “hurricane” (unexpected, rapid change or pressure to do something unwanted) in a vision and they should all prepare. No one believed me, not even the daughter and she was pregnant (new beginnings)! I urged them to go downstairs to the lower floor to take cover because I knew the hurricane could destroy the upper floor. They all just smiled pointing out the sunny skies around us.

Frustrated, I left and ran back up the road leading into town. I don’t remember for sure but I think I took a bus, but can’t specifically recall one. About a mile up the road I noticed the sky around me was blue and sunny but I could still see the storm looming (attempting to be the observer, to see things from the outside).

A woman passed by with her daughter heading toward town. As they stopped to check to see if I needed assistance a piece of long, copper plumbing pipe (open and receptive to new ideas) passed by on the road. It was like the road was a river (emotion). The woman told the girl, “Grab that pipe!” I inquired about it and she said, “Oh they are all over the place around here.” It felt like they would collect it and sell it.

I headed back to town, worried about the people there. When I arrived the storm was closer and they were starting to worry. I urged them to go to the first floor. I ran to the first floor to hide and for some reason put on a pair of old, dusty house slippers (domesticity, relaxation) that I knew were mine. I had to empty out the dirt and debris before I put them on. Next to my slippers a was a larger pair. Then I went back up again to try and get everyone to follow me. No one did.

Then the storm hit and I could feel the entire top floor lift up and detach. We began to roll and I saw everything turning upside down. We rolled a few times and I somehow got out (able to detach from situation) and saw it from the outside. The upper floor resembled a silver cylinder as it rolled.

I ran down the road seeking shelter because I could see the storm behind me ravaging town. I climbed into a tree nook. Above the tree on a hill I saw something. Turns out it was a women’s center specifically to help women build muscle (strength). I remember seeing the logo as a flexed bicep (lol). I remember seeing an outstretched hand (guidance).

Then the storm was over  and I returned to the town. The family had lost everything and asked where I was. I told them and they were relieved but had never heard of the retreat.

Considerations

I woke with a start from this dream and got immediate reassurance from my guidance that all will be okay. The first things I thought about was a similar dream I had not long ago about a similar looking silver, cylindrical object full of people rolling over and over. Everyone was oblivious to it but me. This dream seemed almost like a repeat of that one.

Storms can represent so many things. This storm was like a hurricane-tornado. Usually I feel to be in the eye of the hurricane, so maybe this time I get swept up in it because I get over involved? The road scene seems to indicate that I am being guided to be the observer as does the part where I exit the rolling mess and take shelter in a women’s refuge to regain my strength. Again, very similar to my other dream except this time I was less upset by it.

So, perhaps October will be ramping up the change. Oh well. Sigh.

 

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Diamond in the Rough

How was your October 1st? Did it feel different than September?

For me the word that describes yesterday best is: refreshing. 🙂

Probably because I am sleeping so well now. Ha!

Now that the lessons of September have made themselves known to me and I have digested them enough to really grok them, I am feeling much more positive and optimistic about October. So change is coming? When isn’t it?!?

More Signs – Everything is Gonna Be Okay

All day yesterday I was receiving signs from the universe in various shapes and forms. As usual, I was not looking for them yet they appeared obvious to me nonetheless and left me with a feeling of awe at life, the beauty and complex simplicity of it all (purposeful oxymoron there :)).

I had to go into work because the ransomware attack left the company’s computer system a mess and once again QuickBooks was down. Thankfully, I was able to drop Elek (my youngest) with my SIL. This was out of the ordinary since on Mondays and Tuesday I usually work from home because my SIL is unavailable. On the way from my SIL’s house to work a song came on that seemed to echo in my head and brought about this “frozen time” feeling (sign of a message coming through). Here’s the song:

It reminded me that I choose how I feel. And so, right there, I chose to be happy in the moment, to count my blessings and not allow life to get me down. Perfect song don’t you think?

The day went about fine and I headed home early. I took Monty on a walk and came across this:

Photo

The picture makes it hard to see, but on the walk what I saw in those tiny flowers was obvious: a heart. There were no other flowers in the grass except the ones in the picture. It was like they grew specifically to form the shape of a heart for me. ❤ Can you see it?

Later I went to the social run. The woman I invited couldn’t join me because of a work issues, so I went alone. As I drove the heaven’s opened up in a torrential downpour and I thought for sure I would be running in the rain. But as I approached my destination a magnificent rainbow spread across the sky. I could see it in it’s entirety. I couldn’t take a picture while driving or I would have.

When I got to the run the rain stopped and the skies cleared. As the group started running I saw the rainbow was still present, though fading. At the end of the run it was still there but brighter. It felt like a good omen to me that the rainbow followed me to the run and was there to greet me even at the end.

rainbow 10.1.18

I ended up staying at the store for a foam rolling seminar and headed home later than expected. My youngest had been very upset by my absence, so I came home and gave him lots of hugs. ❤ He is so good at giving hugs!

This morning I awoke with the song above on my mind – Specifically, “Happy, happy, happy, happy…..” lol

Dream – Diamond in the Rough

I had a dream that seems significant, though I cannot pinpoint how just yet.

In the dream I was attending a wedding where the guests stayed overnight after the reception. My husband and I were looking for a bed (seeking domestic security and happiness) and wandered around trying to find one that was somewhat private. I saw beds of all shapes and sizes in all kinds of locations. Some were draped with curtains for privacy, others had velvet pillows and luxurious covers, some were out in the open and some were even outdoors. We had not reserved a room (bed) so we were just looking for one no one was in. I remember my husband being very flirtatious and me reciprocating, which is unusual in my dreams.

We found a couple of beds we liked. He got in one and I got in the other, both of us trying to convince the other they had the better bed (different ideas about how to reach goal of domestic happiness). Eventually all the other guests started arriving and we had to move out of the way and let them go to their reserved beds. One woman stopped me and started chatting. She was older and wearing eccentric clothing. She was carrying with her a bunch of buttered toast and cookies she had stolen from the buffet. She left the toast (simple things in life) on a table and took the cookies (indulgences). I remember picking up the squished toast and thinking it gross (rejecting simplicity).

At one point I went outside and it turned into my mom’s back porch (my social self or facade). There, sitting on small table, was a birdhouse (my personal house and home). The top was opened up (guidance from higher source is being received) and I could see a nest (opportunity, family potential) inside. I peered closely at it thinking it should be closed so that the birds would feel safe. As I was thinking this a very large dragonfly (something is not as it seems) flew so close I could hear its wings beating. Fascinated. I grabbed my phone to take a picture. As I focused in on the dragonfly a stream of misty water (clarity, cleansing, renewal) got in the way from a fountain I had not seen. The dragonfly’s wings sparkled in the mist and it took off. I looked back at the birdhouse and the dream seemed to freeze frame. I knew I needed to pay attention. The roof was open, split down the middle to form two perfectly identical sides. In the middle was a perfect little nest. I can still see it in my mind.

Back inside I saw the bride sitting over hundreds of very tiny boxes. She was folding up notes and inserting them. I asked what they were and she said, “Thank you cards.”

Later on in the dream the bride had given birth (potential) but lost track of her baby. Someone said to her, “Don’t you know you need to take care of your baby?”

There was an entire sequence here about a twin that is mostly lost to me now. All I recall is waking up talking with a guide about various topics to include looking to my own life for what I want. Something like, “My resistance is causing a persistence that will vanish upon acceptance”. “Diamond in the rough” also comes to mind. I specifically remember being asked to think of how my husband made me feel in the dream. The scene where we were looking for a bed came to mind. I felt an attraction to my husband but rejected those feelings. I was asked to consider why.

I was reminded of the song above and the line, “room without a roof.” I believe it relates to the birdhouse without a roof.

7 things you never knew about dragonflies | MNN - Mother ...

Observations and Considerations

Recent experience has shown me that even the most “spiritually advanced” individuals are still human. Human nature – Ego, belief systems and conditioning – still comes through in their preferences and personality. It is unavoidable. Unconditional love exists, but in human form it is rare because survival dictates preference (choice/selection) and preference results in conditions being placed on circumstances and people. In my experiences thus far, I can only find lack of condition present in a parent’s love for their children. I sense my ability to expand this to other relationships but I am finding others unable to reciprocate because of their very human conditioning. For me, the removal of conditions from a relationship feels like freedom. To others it feels like a threat, it lends to lack and lack is not pro-survival.

For example, a man may place the condition of monogamy on his partner because it ensures his mate will not stray from him. This is common in men because women are selective and have the upper hand in mate selection.

Anyway, it is obvious to me (again) that humanity has a very long way to go. I have Remembered how it can be but I cannot force that reality on anyone who is not yet ready to embrace it. I feel much like I was born into the wrong time and place but I cannot let that feeling overwhelm me or lead me into a depressed, apathetic state. It is what it is. I can accept it or reject it. I choose acceptance even though it is difficult.

 

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5D: Follow the White Rabbit

Yesterday was a strange day in so many ways. In fact, it was fitting that it was the last day of September because it seemed almost like a farewell in some ways, tying up all the gifts of the month into one little package. I say, “gifts” but honestly this month felt like a huge mess of mess on top of mess, but it is well known to me that these messes are in actuality some of the best lessons (err gifts). This particular gift was given by me as a gift back to the Gods (hehe). I tied a note to it that said, “You can have it!” Think of the prank of putting a bag of fresh dog poop by someone’s front door and you get the idea!

My friend Linda posted that yesterday Pluto stationed direct. Here is a post of hers from 2013 discussing it in more detail. It was particularly fitting that I saw her post (as usual) because I was feeling a big overloaded that morning. Not by life necessarily, but by myself. In fact, a good nickname for me would have been “the woman with many faces” (think Game of Thrones and the faceless man). I say that because my experiences had me perceiving all these timelines and options within me. These potential possibilities seemed to sprout from within, expanding to reveal entirely new worlds and versions of me. I was left feeling a bit discombobulated unable to do anything with the experience except watch as these other worlds continued on without me participating in them, or at least this version of me, leaving me with a sort of lame grief at their departure and “what could have been”.

Yeah, sounds like something from a Sci-Fi show, I know. None of it was literal. I was stable in present time and space, but I could perceive so much around me as if viewing it from a screen within my mind. All the while I’m still participating in life, going about my day, etc.

I could perceive so completely what I will just call the “could have been’s” of this lifetime, from the vantage point of now. Just meaning, these timelines sprouted from the present, not from the past or future. All the while knowing the timeline I had to take. In fact, I felt anchored to it despite my desire to explore the other avenues of my soul. This sense of stuckedness was not fun for me and I resisted a bit. As a result of my resistance, I manifested around me experiences that reflected back to me what I needed to know. Only when I saw what that was did the resistance give way to surrender.

I feel a bit like the reprimanded child this morning, as you can imagine. I had to relearn a lesson: Let go. This lesson is on-going I guess, courtesy of the human tendency to Forget and attach.

stonepath

New Path

While all this is taking place, I am well aware of a new path opening up to me. I can only see the very beginning of it, like a path in the woods winding through trees. So, I don’t know where it is leading. Yet the feeling I get is, “Follow me….Follow me….” like the trees whispering to me. Makes me think of Alice in Wonderland, “Follow the white rabbit.”

I have already mentioned the path briefly. Thus far there is a social theme to it. I continue to have this draw to be more social. I am attending a running group on Mondays. Last Thursday, despite being horribly sleep deprived, I attended a breast cancer fundraising event for women only and had a great time. Saturday I invited my son’s friend’s mother to come with me on a run with the social group tonight. I’ll be picking her up tonight on the way.

Then, yesterday, my daughter’s friend’s mom and I hit it off and I now have a new workout buddy. We’re meeting at her gym on Tuesday. We chatted for almost an hour last night when she dropped my daughter off. She recently relocated here with her daughter after separating from her partner (she is a lesbian). She lives just across the street from me.

I don’t know if this is part of the new path or not, but I find it interesting that I have now met two lesbians within two months. The first was in August at work – our new receptionist who, by the way, I had a part in hiring (I selected the candidates). I see her every time I go to work and we have gotten to know each other fairly well over the last month. She is very open about her sexual orientation and her female partner and has even suggested to me that I might be bi-sexual (lol) during a conversation.

So now, after meeting my daughter’s friend’s mother who announced her sexual orientation within ten minutes of us meeting, I am wondering, “What gives?” because in my entire life I have only known a few lesbians. One is my best-friend’s mother and her partner, they have been together going on 25 years now. Another is my sister-in-law (bi-sexual actually).

Yeah, something’s up.

The feeling I get regarding this path is “go with it.” There is a sense that it leads somewhere purposeful. I feel very much like I did right before my current job came to me. It comes with an inner nudge that feels as if it is saying, “You have resisted so much in life. Why not just let go and see what life brings you?”

This is all part of learning how to operate in 5D, just in case you didn’t already know that. I have played a part in anchoring in 5D, am grounded and centered in it now, and the next step is learning to toss my old 3D ways and begin operating in 5D fully and functionally. That means no more seeking to control my path, the old 3D paradigm. It is exactly what I have been experiencing with these new paths opening up and me following them to see where they lead. It is all a very new feeling to me and I sense a very distant part of me panicking a bit, but she is not in control and is easily reassured. There is an instant shutting down of her, her thoughts, her tendencies, as if I have a remote control and just hit the mute button when she gets too loud. lol

For a while this new me seemed so foreign! I often send a mental inquiry inward asking, “How come I’m not freaking out? Aren’t I suppose to be freaking out??” lol The response is always this calm, centeredness, that responds with, “It’s okay.” I think I mentioned the beginnings of this earlier in my blog from 2016-2017. They manifested as literal panic attacks along with a feeling of some other energy/spirit seeming to “take over” or “come in”. All of this I now know were part of a transitional phase as I crossed the bridge over into 5D. These attacks have now been replaced with just a slight sense of a reaction that are barely noticeable.

It is all quite amazing to me as I look back on what was from the vantage point of what IS. To think of how far I’ve come in such a short time, I wonder what comes next? How much more will I change?

My guidance advises me to “follow the eight winds” (again). For me the most difficult areas are pleasure and suffering. To not attach to desire – or suffering – is a challenge for me. Yes, I attach to suffering which may seem odd, but I have this strange compulsion to wallow in my sorrow and poor-me myself to death. In hindsight it is funny and understandable, but my guides often have to nudge (or kick) me to recognize I am doing it. It is the same with desire except that they have to drag me kicking and screaming away. Sigh.

“Worthy persons deserve to be called so
because they are not carried away by the eight winds:
prosperity, decline, disgrace, honor, praise, censure, suffering, and pleasure.
They are neither elated by prosperity nor grieved by decline.
The heavenly gods will surely protect one who is unbending before the eight winds”.

                                                                                                                        Nichiren

Our path to enlightenment will be obstructed when we let the reactions of the surrounding get authority on our feelings and on our lives.

If there was ever a map to navigate through 5D, it is the Eight Winds. Study it. Follow it. Be steadfast.