The past week I have been sleeping very deeply and waking up in the mornings feeling as if I took a sleeping pill prior to bed. It has been very hard to get out of bed and my dreams have been difficult to remember. This morning, however, I did not feel overly tired upon waking and had some very memorable dream experiences.

Dream: School is Out

This dream is hard to recall now. I remember being inside a school. I was going to a classroom to help with the party. There were gifts for all the children lined up along the walls of the classroom. It felt like a mixture of the last day of school and the day before Christmas break.

The next thing I remember is standing outside with a couple of other people. I was with my partner who I think might have been in uniform, maybe a police (protection) uniform because it was blue. There was a woman and her partner with us. We were all smoking cigarettes (change needed). It felt like the woman and her partner were to be on our “team”, like part of a group. I was giving the woman advice. She had horrid anxiety attacks and I was telling her to use the tools in her toolbox like deep breathing and visualization. In my mind I could see how the tools, when used consistently, would lead to a lessening of the anxiety attacks. The woman eagerly listened to me and my advice, smiling and relaxing. In the end I put out my cigarette. The visual of putting it out and seeing the butt (end of a process) is very vivid.

Dream: Car Junkyard Spring

I was walking through a junkyard (repressed fear, anxiety) with my husband and one of our children. I could see old cars scattered here and there. The soil was light, like sand, and there was a deep pool of water (cleansing) that was springing forth from the ground. We got into the water. It was deep and cool. I believe it might have been muddy but that also could have been the color of the sand as seen through clear water.

While in the water I was looking at something my husband was working on that was sitting on the side of the pool of water. There was white paint (fresh outlook) that I took and painted the thing with. It might have been a boat but I don’t know now. It was about the size of a house cat. My husband came over and grabbed it, getting white paint all over himself. He was not happy about it and I told him I had painted it like he asked.

Then I was walking around looking at the place. There had been a lot of rain and the pools of water were quite high. I saw an older couple walking toward a section. They got in and disappeared from view. I noticed a large, hotel (period of transition) was built in the middle of the junkyard. It was yellow and tall and very few people were there. I wondered why they were not clearing out the junk and utilizing the spring.

I walked inside the hotel and it was practically empty. I walked past a laundry room (cleansing) and then an office. Inside was a lady at a desk. I asked her if she owned the place and had ever thought of buying up the land around her to make use of the spring. She seemed annoyed but explained that she used her part of the land and her family owned the rest. I told her about how the springs (unconscious mind, soul experiences) made me feel. I said they were “magnetic”, and “energetic” and “healing”. I told her, “If you ever are interested in allowing people to gather here to make use of this place, I would love to come.” Again, I emphasized just how wonderfully spiritual and healing the waters were. Something in my words triggered tears and I woke up sobbing.

I continued to cry after waking and had to get up to blow my nose. Somehow I was able to fall back to sleep.

Dream: Advice

I was standing in a shifty gray space. There was a car and some people. I overheard an argument. Someone was trying to keep a woman from doing something. I remember yelling, “STOP!” They did.

Still at the car scene and still not able to see well in the shifty environment, the man by the car began to converse with me. He was someone I knew and resembled the blonde guy on the show Supernatural. The discussion is hard to recall now but from what I recall we were discussing how he needed to get back to this woman he knew. He said that he had never felt such a strong connection with anyone, not even me. When I realized he said he had not felt a strong connection for me I said, “You did with me. You said you did.” He went on to describe this three-way love triangle type situation that involved himself, a woman and another man. They all felt the magnetic connection and bliss for and with each other. I remember seeing a photograph of them together, sitting on a sofa, entwined in each other’s embrace, faces revealing the bliss they were experiencing. I missed that feeling.

At some point I began to hear static, like a radio station, and music began playing very loudly in my ears. I felt as if I was wearing earbud and tried to adjust the volume. The scene shifted as I did this and I was walking into a brightly lit bedroom (private self). There was a large, queen sized bed in the center that was unmade (indecision). Toys littered the floor. The room was a mess.

I continued to talk to the man from before through the noise of the radio station blasting in my ears. I was asking him what his plans were. Was he going to go to NY?

As I waited for his response, a radio DJ’s voice was very loud in my ears and I remember being annoyed because it was keeping me from hearing the blonde man. I quickly made the bed (conclusion to issue) in the room, propped up a pillow and sat down, legs stretched out in front of me.

The blonde man answered me by telling me that I needed to go back to the introduction or beginning. He described it as the “easy” part, saying that one must get really good at the “easy” part before moving on to the next parts. In my mind I saw this large section of life. It was like a bubble, but thicker and bluish. I could see into it but there was nothing inside. Completely clear. This section was the “easy” part, the part that one must go through and get very good at before moving onto the next part. When I saw this and heard his words I understood completely and responded with, “Yeah, that makes sense.” At the time I was thinking how to be good at anything you must master it and that this introduction period, or easy period, is an opportunity to do that.

As I mulled over what I was told the radio station again got very loud. I turned it down and relaxed into the bed which began to moved back and forth ever so slightly as if I was laying on a raft in the water. I fell into the feeling and as I did a rush of ecstasy shot up from my root chakra into my lower chakras. It came in waves that were very intense and fast. As it rose I was hit with a mixture of pain and pleasure that ultimately woke me.

Energy Reveals Trauma

When the feelings subsided an energy lingered in my root and second chakras as well as in other places like along my spine between my shoulder blades and my third-eye and crown. A slight pain lingered in my second chakra area, it was achy like I was raw from having way too much sex. A song was going through my head – Why don’t you just meet me in the middle…

I decided to feel into the sensations of my body to see if they would tell me anything. The achy feeling stayed despite my feeling into it. I felt very tight and restricted on the inside, like the energy had forced its way into my second chakra and left it stretched and inflamed. The feeling seemed to be telling me that this sensation was the result of a physical assault, rape and trauma. Though the initial painful pleasure of the rising energy didn’t make me feel violated in any way, the after effects brought on a memory of being violated. My body’s response was to try and keep it from happening again. Energetically this would result in a restriction in flow in the second chakra.

The dream with the man and the strange love triangle may be a hint to the past trauma. The man I was talking to seems to have been someone I felt a magnetic attraction to. The feelings that I am able to contact from the dream were that he rejected me in some way and then denied our connection. There were hints of anger and betrayal but also upset over the fact that he was more interested in another and seemed to not even remember or even acknowledge what we had together. Finally, there was a sense of being invisible to him.

As I lingered in the in-between another song came to mind. I heard distinctly, “listen to your heart.”