I slept long and deep last night. The celebrations and time with family over the holiday have left me tired I guess.

Dream: Tequila and Choice

In this dream I couldn’t sleep and was still awake around 3am or later in the morning. I decided to walk down to a bar and get some tequila. My husband was with me, bought the tequila shot and sat with me as I drank it. I was surprised the place sold me the alcohol. I recall having with me a bottle of tequila, too, and taking liberal swigs of it.

I went home, quite drunk and stumbling. The feeling was very real.

After a while I met up with a young, blonde man and a couple. We drove to a convenience store because it was morning and I wanted to go home with some sweet rolls for the kids. We ended up in the back of the store and the blonde man attempted to put his hands down my pants. I saw the video cameras and told him no even when the other couple destroyed the cameras. The man sulked and so I hugged him and was overcome with desire that I quickly shut off and suppressed. As we left I picked up some sweet rolls and a cup of coffee to take home.

Then I was with my husband, only he looked like my ex, and his brother and SIL. The plan was to go out to bars, mingle and find sexual partners – like swinging. We ended up in this large restaurant-bar that had rows and rows of tables full of people drinking and eating. I remember talking with them about the plan and how it would play out. I was uncomfortable with it because what I was told was that my husband (who still looked like my ex) would find a woman to have on the side but he would stay with me. I told him I wanted no part in it because I saw how he would keep me for the convenience of having sex when he was not with the other woman.

So I walked around the place and watched the other people. I saw a group celebrating. A woman sat next to her son and ordered him something off the menu he didn’t like despite knowing what he did want. He threw a meatball and pouted. I laughed. Next to me sat Jerry Seinfeld. I talked to him, thinking, “Wow!” and even asked if that was his name and he nodded.

As the dream continued I kept watching people as they got more intoxicated. I sat down next to a guy with dark hair who was familiar, a famous actor. I remembered his name and laughed and said, “I’m sitting next to Ray.”

Dream: Circle

In this dream I was at a spiritual circle made up of women, all of them much older than me. The circle was built upon the experiences and channelings of one main woman who then wrote books about each of the ceremonies she conducted to connect with the spirits or aliens who gave her the information. I watched as she explained how there had to be at least three women who acted as moderators for when someone asked a question. These women wore strange, domed hats made out of aluminum that was gold on the top and silver on the bottom. The dome had a small point right over the center of the wearers head.

I watched as the leader began the ceremony. She had in her hand a book that was the 13th in a series of books she had written. I can’t recall the name now but the book was blue and the number very noticeable.

A black woman who had a question waited for the moderators to approve or disapprove it. They said it was approved and she was relieved. She held in her hand a large, flat, black rock and said, “I wanted to know why it has water on it?” I could see that the rock held a small pool of water in its center.

Then I was holding a round object, like a basket only it was domed without an opening. It was made of wool and fibers. The leader lady said it was part of the ceremony. At the center was something important, like a capsule or something. I began to peel away the layers carefully. Some were beaded, some thick like wool. It was as if I was peeling a large, exotic fruit. When I got to the center another scene opened up in the dream and I shifted into it (dream within a dream).

I don’t remember much of this dream now but it was set on my mom’s back porch. It looked brand new, the wood all yellowish and smelling of pine. A man I know was there, much younger than he is today. He was smiling and full of excitement about life. I could feel from him his love of adventure and he was getting ready to set off on a trip. The main memory is of his face and how it glowed. I also remember that he departed on his adventure and left me behind holding two, ten pound dumbbells, one in each hand.

I came back to the scene with the basket/capsule. From the center appeared a small, white lamb, perfect and pure.

Then I was watching the circle again only it was online in a forum. It allowed people to join and ask questions. I asked my question. The answer was provided in images so it is hard to interpret. In the dream it felt like I was told I would be waiting a long time – years. I despaired in the dream because the thought of the wait was like torture to me. I remember choosing to be in a relationship with someone so as to not be alone and to have a companion throughout it. Part of this vision and message reminds me of how I married my ex so that I would not have to wait for “the one” alone (my current husband).

I was back looking at the women in the circle. It was set outside, green fields and tall oaks trees in the background. It made me feel good to be there and I thought that I could pass the time by joining them. But then I noticed how old all the women were – all over 60 at least. I remember thinking, “I’m too young.”

Back looking at the forum I went to my question, clicked on it and deleted it. I remember not liking my answer and feeling hopeless as I left.

Music Message: The Gambler

When I woke the song – The Gambler – was going through my head. Specifically – “You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run.”

Considerations

The sense upon waking was that reunion in this lifetime was unlikely and I told myself to move on and accept it. It is something I have concluded many times before. The song seems to indicate that my choice is similar to gambling. I have to choose wisely after weighing all the facts I have before me. But the song doesn’t tell me what to do really.

The first dream sequence seems to indicate I am looking for respite and I do it through drinking. I want to relieve myself of my current life’s problems. A solution is presented and rejected by me. I find humor in the situation via Seinfeld and a joke I make in the dream about sitting next to a famous person.

The circle seems to be me asking for guidance. I did ask for help before bed. Specifically I asked to get a glimpse of my future. It seems like the dream is warning of lots of waiting and passing time. The number 13 could be bad news, overcoming obstacles, or bad luck.  The lamb could be me wishing to return to the beginning, to innocence and purity. The weights I carry are the burdens of my life. I am left behind because of the path I’ve chosen and ultimately that path is the reason for the wait and delay.

The message I received from the circle seems to be that I will find a way to pass the time. This is likely my current husband, though I did not see who the person was. The age of the women in the circle could be symbolic of how much time will pass. Maybe I will be about 60 before anything shifts. If so, that is a long wait plus I never imagine myself living past 65.