Monthly Archives: January 2020

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Dream: Aad Guray Nameh

Yesterday I had a thought regarding my dreams recently, specifically the last two. Both times I had asked to be shown what my Heaven would be. Where will I go when I die? What will it look like? I asked this mainly out of curiosity and a hope that I would go OOB or experience a wonderful escape into a magical astral landscape. I miss such adventures! Anyway, the thought I had was that perhaps my dreams were showing me what I asked and I misunderstood? Maybe I was seeing an alternate reality? A reality where I am not afraid to speak my truth, travel with and spend time with my friends and help the victims of physical reality recover and heal.

So last night I asked to be shown again but was more specific, hoping to get a better idea of what it was my guidance was trying to show me. Mostly, though, I was feeling very doubtful that my dreams were a glimpse into a possible future and suspicious of my guidance. Maybe it is all a test to see if I will grab onto anything that vaguely resembles hope? And then, as is my tendency, that hope is shattered when nothing changes or shifts in my world.

These thoughts are similar to thoughts I was having last Fall when I was having debilitating panic attacks. The thoughts make me shut down to my guidance completely out of concern that one – or maybe all of them – is in disguise and are not at all of the Light. They could be negative entities, Ego driven, or something else and so to shut down protects me from their influence and forces me to listen to my gut/feeling/intuition.

My feeling last Fall was that negative entities, or those from the “dark side”, are doubling their efforts, seeking to prevent humanity from escaping the trap of illusion by targeting those whose auras are beacons to others. Or maybe that isn’t it at all and I am just struggling to Trust yet again, letting my mind chatter unduly influence me.

My lack of Trust comes from so many let downs along my path, where I felt great certainty but was thrown curve ball after curve ball. It has taught me to be wary of anything and everything I “think” might be true, especially if it feels positive, good or hopeful.

Dream: Aad Guray Nameh

I had many strange dreams, most I can’t recall. My sleep was restless with frequent awakenings. Toward early morning I had a semi-lucid dream in which I felt attacked by something or someone I couldn’t see, reminiscent of some of my early, spontaneous OBEs.

My dream memory begins with me standing in what appears to be at the bottom of an empty swimming pool. The pool is not too deep because I can see over the sides of it. In the pool I am holding something in the palm of my hand that looks like small, black ants. I toss the creatures high up into the air and then watch to see what they do with their freedom.

When the creatures land on the floor they look like some kind of beetle or roach with long, brown wings. They scurry about and grow in size, changing shape and color. Their bodies become sleek and black like dragonflies (false beliefs and perceptions), their wings iridescent white. They buzz all around and for a moment I am delighted to see how happy they are. I remember thinking, “You are free!”

Suddenly, the insects start flying at me and begin to attach themselves to different areas of my body. They don’t bite me but I do not like that they are attracted to me and want them off. I begin to swipe at them and they fly away only to come back at me in a swarms. One lands right on my privates and I wipe it away as if I am wiping myself with toilet paper. I remember thinking at it, “How did you get there?” This is when I realize that I am not wearing any clothes.

Feeling overwhelmed and unable to get away, I call out to my daughter. While screaming for help my vision goes black and I can’t see. Trapped in darkness I feel vulnerable and alone and even though I no longer feel the insects around me, I feel surrounded by a very negative energy, one that gets pleasure from my fear and is taunting me.

My daughter arrives and turns on a light. The entire scene lights up and I find myself in my bedroom. Then the lights go off again and I am in total darkness.

The feeling of the negative presence grows. I can almost see it dancing around me, poking and prodding at me. Thoughts are coming at me, thoughts that sprout hopelessness and despair. I also hear the lyrics of a song going through my head, over and over: “Now you’re just somebody that I use to know”.

I get the idea to chant Ong namo guru dev namo. Initially my voice doesn’t work and a hoarse whisper comes out of my mouth. This doesn’t faze me and I keep chanting it, over and over again until my voice changes pitch. It gets very low and begins to resonate deep in my chest and I swear I hear another voice join in. Then, satisfied that I have chanted it enough, I shift to the prayer of protection:

Aad Guray Nameh
Jugaad Guray Nameh
Sat Guray Nameh
Siri Guru Dayvay Nameh

Translation:

I bow to the Primal Wisdom.
I bow to the Wisdom through the Ages.
I bow to the True Wisdom.
I bow to the great, unseen Wisdom

Once I start chanting this my voice returns to its natural pitch and tone. There is no longer a constriction in my throat, my energy lightens and I feel powerful. I begin to negative feel the energy retreating. I notice the darkness in the room is shifting, getting lighter. I decide to chant, “Aum” or “Om”, and direct it toward the closest where I feel the energy lingering. When I chant “Aum” it is deep and powerful, as if I have a hundred monks chanting with me. The closet becomes illuminated with a bright light. Where I thought I would see clothing, there was none. The closet was empty.

My daughter returns and we leave the bedroom and go into an open space that resembled my upstairs living area. There is a clothing rack in the middle of the room. On the rack are identical sets of bras and panties. There are at least fifty of them. I grab one and begin to try and take it off the hanger but the threads are stuck, entangled in the clasp. My daughter asks if I want help but I tell her I will get it free, which I do almost immediately after. I put the tan and lace bralette on over the bra I am wearing.

After some time (my recall is hazy) I begin to feel the negativity and dark returning. This time I begin to sing a song from my childhood, one I use to love singing at church. As I sing the song I visualize a green field. The field manifests and I feel a warm breeze and a peace surround me. I start to cry. I continue to sing as I wake up – “You alone are my strength my shield, to you alone may my Spirit yield.”

Considerations

When I woke my eyes and pillow were wet from crying.

My thoughts about the dream are that I was being shown how I create my reality. How the darkness is a reflection of me, my fears, doubts and insecurities. I am able to chase away the darkness using faith in a mantra. I trusted that if I kept chanting it the darkness and negativity would disappear and be replaced with Light and it was.

I find it interesting that I chanted the mantras that I did. Prior to bed I thought that I should continue to chant them every night, even though I was no longer practicing the Wahe Guru meditation/mantra. I was reminded of this article I read over a month ago as I was memorizing the foreign words.

My memory of how my daughter appeared in the dream does not match my daughter in real life. She looked like me, only younger with a brilliance and Light in her aura. I suspect she was the me who Remembers, my Higher Self.

Earlier this morning I read a blog post about Trust. It seemed to speak to me specifically, reminding me to put my Trust in God/the Universe and remember that there is a method to this madness. Fear can be a teacher, too, if we let it. There was a line in the post, like a prayer, asking that we all find the spark of courage that turns our darkness into sunlight. That is exactly what I did in my dream.

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Dream: Hope Floats

Last night, for the first time in a long while, I struggled to fall asleep. It was past 1am when I finally drifted off. Again, I asked to be shown what my afterlife would look like and again got shown something very different.

Dream: Hope Floats

I was in the back seat of an SUV traveling with three others – two men and a woman. The only person that was familiar was the driver and since he was way up front we did not interact very much.

For some reason I was very talkative and happy in this dream. The discussion was about where we were going and why along with other random topics.

The topic of all the countries we had visited came up and the man to my left showed me a map of all the places he had traveled. His map was quite full! It seemed he had been nearly everywhere! I somehow knew he had past military experience and this was how he had traveled so much. I asked if he had ever visited Australia and he showed me a map of the country. He had traveled nearly the entirety of it! I said, “I went there once. I wanted to move there. It is a wonderful place.”

The topic of music came up. The man had with him two CDs and a player that wirelessly connected to the SUV stereo. I explained how I didn’t like most country music songs and was not shy about sharing my opinion. I tend to be very honest and blunt and I was most definitely acting this way in the dream. As far as I know, I didn’t upset anyone with my strong negative opinion about country music. The man sitting next to me asked me to try listening to his CDs. He shared the name’s of the artists and albums. I told him I had never heard of them and even now I can’t recall their names.  I agreed to give them a listen but his player would not connect.

The conversation continued with me changing my mind as I recalled actually liking certain songs, even owning country music CDs when I was married to my ex. I remember mentioning the movie soundtrack, Hope Floats, but when I said the name I knew it was a message to myself about hope.

The driver, the only person in the SUV that I recognized, did not interact much with our group. In the midst of my conversations with the group, I moved to my left a bit and could see the man watching me via the rear view mirror. I tried to ignore him and pretended I didn’t notice him watching me. He looked just as I remembered, especially his eyes and the intensity of his stare.

The topic of conversation shifted to our destination. I remember knowing we were going to Minnesota but the map I saw did not show the state in the right place. Instead, it looked more like a state in the northeast somewhere, closer to Ohio or Pennsylvania. The man in the front seat mentioned how different it would be for me to live there, saying the college campus I would be at was in a big city. In my mind I saw city streets and lots of people and knew I did not like crowded places. I remember knowing that I was going to study for my Master’s in Group Communication. In the dream this degree stood out to me and nearly brought on lucidity, but it didn’t.

Suddenly, the man in the driver’s seat turned completely around and began to crawl into the back seat toward me. This surprised me and I remember holding my breath and thinking, “What is he doing?” His eyes are the most memorable. It was like he was looking straight into my soul.

Then, without warning, he took a huge inhale of breath and turned around to face the front of the car. Outside I could see the highway spread out in front of us. Black, burnt wreckage was spread all over the left side of the road. The car was stopped, so there was no worry that it was driving into the wreckage, but cars were behind us. One car’s bumper was nearly touching ours and it honked in annoyance.

I knew we had to get out and assist in finding the survivors/victims. When I stepped out of the car there were two tiny, toddler-sized, black sneakers sitting on the pavement in a position suggesting they had been blown off the feet of their owner. I remember saying, “Oh no! Where’s the child these belong to?” My last thought before waking was hoping the child had survived as I looked at the unrecognizable pieces of wreckage and obvious scorch marks on the highway.

As I woke, I felt the presence of my guide in front of me. He said to me, “Life is good.” I was so tired, so heavy with sleep, that I didn’t really think much about his comment and I drifted back to sleep. I can’t recall what, if any, dreams I had after that.

Considerations

When I woke up my first thought was on the message I gave myself – Hope Floats. I don’t remember too much about the movie but I believe it is a story of how a woman suffers through an unexpected divorce, moves her family in with her mom, and reconnects with an old school friend (or boyfriend?), falling madly in love. Ultimately she finds happiness where she never thought she would find it.

I don’t know if this message is meant to indicate something like that will happen to me. For my life to play out like the movie is unlikely, especially since I don’t have any high school sweethearts to reconnect with. lol It could be that the message is simply to remain hopeful. And it could be nothing at all, but that is not typically how my dreams work. Especially dreams in which I remember seeing someone I know so acutely and wake up knowing the dream has significance.

My music preferences, the main discussion in the dream, seem to show how I recognize that though I say I don’t like something I eventually recognize that I do like some of it. I am open to exploring this about myself and even agree to listen (to the music – my guidance – but in this case “listen” in general applies).

As a dream symbol, music is how one communicates and expresses their soul. It can also represent spiritual guidance and a message being sent/received. My best guess as to the genre of music is that it is linking me to my past and perhaps my roots since I was raised very “country” and lived in the country for more than half my life. I suspect I am being asked to return to my past, inspect it and be open to receiving something it has to show me and “change my mind” about some idea or situation.

The wreckage on the highway seems to be a message or warning of a world-view or path more than my own and/or my group’s path (SUV is a group path). The wreckage is massive and the cars involved unrecognizable. All that is left are scorch marks and twisted pieces of metal. The two tiny shoes likely represent the children of the world in general. My main concern is them. My group is seeking to help the victims.

Finally, the degree I am seeking is at the forefront of my mind. The main word that stood out was “group” but I knew my degree had to do with communication as well. Considering just last night I was boarding a train to my new school and was wearing a choker around my neck (throat chakra), I think this part of the dream very significant.

 

 

 

 

 

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Dream: Race Car Romance

It’s been a busy weekend and I continue to be pretty tired in the evenings with little dream recall. Last night I was especially tired because I went on a 4+ mile run-walk with my husband before dinner. So, by bedtime my eyes were very droopy and I fell asleep quickly.

Prior to bed I asked my guidance to allow me to see “heaven”. I asked to be shown where I will go when I die. Mostly, I was just curious. If I was shown the afterlife that awaits me (I believe everyone has their own “heaven”) I don’t remember it. What I remember instead is a strange dream.

Dream: Race Car Romance

The dream began with me being in my bedroom from when I was in middle school. Instead of it looking like a normal bedroom it was filled with deep water and I was swimming in it, occasionally diving deep into its depths. I believe I was not in my human form but am unsure what form I took. It felt like I was a car but then I saw myself as human but then also fish-like (mermaid maybe). Sometimes I would dive too deep into this water and someone would have to rescue me and pull me up to the surface before I drowned.

I was pulled up time and time again until the last time I finally paid attention to what was going on. Around me was a crowd of onlookers in a circle around me and my savior, a man who I felt I recognized but couldn’t place. His face shifted from a color, like a blue color, to a human face with dark hair and eyes. He seemed short or child-like, as did I, and I remember thinking in that moment that I finally recognized him. I knew I would fall for him as many victims fall for those that save them. As I had this thought I was looking at this man and feeling that, “Uh oh” feeling deep within me as if I knew he represented something significant and would bring into my life swift change more powerful than I had known before.

The dream shifted and the water was gone. I was standing on solid ground in my bedroom looking at a white bookshelf. On the top of the shelf was a stack of paper. I was taking pieces sheet by sheet looking for a blank one to draw on but each sheet had on it drawings of cars. Some had color on them, like a child had colored them, but as I pulled more out the drawings had less and less color until they were without color altogether. All the drawings were of race cars with rocket-like pipes coming out the sides and other alterations that made them look like rockets or spaceships with four tires. They were obviously built for speed.

As I looked through the drawings I recognized some were telling a story. I said to someone, “Oh, it’s a love story.” And I remember seeing two cartoon-like cars interacting as the pages flipped quickly and moved like a movie.

Then I was selecting a shirt to wear with the help of another girl. The shirt I selected had a race car on it also and was vividly colored. I mostly remember the color blue but there were streaks of yellow and white as well. It reminded me of something a super hero would wear. What is interesting is the shirt had two pieces. The back piece went over the shoulders like a cape and flowed down my back to my waist. The front piece snapped around the neck and covered my chest only. I remember the girl helping me put on the front piece, snapping it snugly into place around my neck. It felt tight but not restrictive.

Then I was told it was time to go and I got into a line to board a bus. It felt like I was in school and I remember seeing many people around me all going to their individual destinations. The bus I was boarding seemed more like a train or tram. It was sleek and aerodynamic as if it could go very, very fast.

Considerations

When I woke from the dream the presence of a guide was in front of me. I heard, “It’s time to go.” I didn’t know what he meant but it felt important. I thought, “Time to go Home?” He said, “No.” But my first thought was that I was about to die. I started worrying about my doctor appointment on Friday and thought I might get a phone call indicating something is wrong with my blood work. This concern quickly passed, though.

My guess, based on the dream, is that my guide is referring to something else, something fast and maybe life changing. A race car can indicate moving in the “fast lane” or fast movement. It can also represent a race of some sort and arriving at a destination fast. A car in a dream usually represents an individual’s life path or the path they travel with others. It is dependent upon the type of car. A race car is not a family car, so this is likely a symbol of my personal path.

In my dream I seem to shift between being a car and being something else, something more human and fish-like. I dive into the water (subconscious) and have to be rescued. I am rescued by the same man many times and finally recognize him. When I see him I feel that I will fall in love with him while also recognizing his role in my life. The feeling I get is significant and comes with a type of nervousness that I have felt in life before, where I want to run away out of fear but also stay out of fascination and desire to know what will happen next.

When I see him there is a crowd of people standing all around us. They stand back and form a circle similar to what happens when a person is rescued from near death in real life.

The strange race car clothing seems to indicate that I will take on a new persona. Clothing is how we present ourselves to the world. The clothing snaps around my throat in the front. This could symbolize my voice. It is not constricted.

As I board the bus/train I feel to be going to school but am also in a school so perhaps it is symbolic of a specific lesson I am about to learn that is related to a life lesson that is on-going. The bus/train looks like it will go fast so maybe a very fast-paced lesson.

This song was going through my head as I woke:

“I can be your hero baby. I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever. You can take my breath away….”

When I went for my morning walk today I saw the sun through the thick clouds. It looked like the moon but I know the moon is not full right now and so this confirmed it was the sun. I was reminded of a dream/OBE I had long ago where I saw the sun and the moon in the sky, side by side slowly moving closer together. I knew this symbolized the masculine (sun) and the feminine (moon) coming closer and closer together until they merged. I looked at the sun-moon in the sky and said to myself, “The sun is the moon is the sun”.

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Dream: Struck by Lightning

Not a whole lot to report here. Lost of mundane things mostly. Today I had a well woman physical, which I haven’t had since 2014 (can you tell I hate them? lol). I told my doctor about my heart speed-up scare and she confirmed that it was likely low blood sugar. 🙂 I also had a full blood panel done because I haven’t had blood work since 2016. The results won’t come in until next week. Next, I have to schedule a mammogram because I am now “over 40” (in other words old).

Another interesting event was that I had my DNA analyzed through 23 and Me. The results came in this week. I am 64.2% British and Irish, 19.1% French and German, 2.4% Scandinavian and Broadly Northwestern European is the rest. I thought I had more German but it seems not. lol I also discovered someone I’ve known for around a decade is my 4th cousin! Sadly, all I discovered were many distant relatives. No close relatives from either side of the family show up. Health-wise I am not a carrier of any of the 44 genes for specific diseases and issues they tested for. The only thing of any significance that came up is that I have a slightly higher risk of having Celiac disease and age related macular degeneration. Weird!

I have completed 40 days+ of the Wahe Guru mantra meditation and have not noticed anything life changing. I do relax easier in the evenings but that is about it. I got the idea the other night to begin a visualization meditation at night instead of the mantra meditation I have been doing. So I have been trying to visualize what I want but it is hard because I seem not to be able to “see” physical things I want really well. That is probably because physical things are not very interesting to me. I mostly just want enough money to never have to worry about survival needs again. Mostly I just want to feel a certain way and I can visualize how I want to feel much better. So I have been trying to focus on the heart connected feeling or just a general openness in my heart. I also focus on feeling joy and fulfillment.

Visions of Note

In the past few weeks I have had some interesting visions and messages come through.

I had a vision that was very clear upon waking one morning, probably about two weeks ago now. In the vision I saw the painting in my room that is called “Integration”. I was going into the painting on a bicycle. It was so real that I thought I was actually sitting up in bed experiencing it but when I blinked I was in bed lying on my side. I was probably dreaming or in the in-between.

A message from myself that was interesting came around the same time. I caught myself talking to someone about someone who I recognized as me in another body. I said, “Oh that is my 6th body. I don’t control it”. All I remember after that is that the “body” of this other me was yellow.

Then in one day I had two syncs. The first came when I woke up with a song in my head. Minutes after waking I had to jump in the car to take my daughter to the bus stop because it was raining and the same song and line was playing! This was the song and the part that kept going over in my head was “She said I don’t look like me no more no more. I said I’m just tired, she said you’re just tired”:

Later that same day, I was reading a blog and the poster mentioned she got interrupted because her doorbell rang. The instant I read “doorbell” my own doorbell rang! LOL

Dream: Struck by Lightning 

I woke from a dream sometime around 3am. In the dream I was watching a small house via a screen. It almost looked like it was a piece of art, framed, but the picture was moving like a TV. The house had dark, nearly black smoke billowing out of the top. The billows were rounded and went high into the sky. I had a camera in my hand and began to take photos of it and as I did this I seemed to enter the picture with the house.

Then I was lying on the ground dressed in a white leotard, legs spread in a V shape. A bolt of lightning came down and hit me in my root chakra. I remember it did not hurt nor did it feel odd at all. I told someone who was with me, “I’m okay. I feel fine.”

This scene woke me up and I felt my entire body covered in a heaviness and subtle vibrations. I felt very drowsy but my mind was alert. A conversation had been on-going between myself and a guide who I could feel near me as if he were standing in front of me. This guide and I had been talking about what I wanted in life and I told him, “To be out of this body” and I was saying, “I don’t care how it happens – in a body bag, in OBEs, taken Home via spacecraft or whatever.” My guide was saying, “I don’t think that is what you really want. I think you want….connection.”

The more aware I became of the conversation the more it began to fade, our words disappearing, replaced only by the heaviness in my body and a feeling almost like passing out except I was already “out”.

When I regained control is when I heard the word “connection” and with hearing it I felt a pull within as if I were being called to embrace the familiar feeling of surrender followed by ecstasy that comes with the K. I resisted and told my guide, “It is not good for me. It upsets my life.”

I told my guidance that I prefer the security of my current relationship even if that means I have no deep connection(s) in my life. The idea of leaving behind my security to search for a connected relationship (whether with myself or another) does not appeal to me.

My mind wandered back to the idea that I may do better in a relationship with a woman and the more I thought about it, the more it appealed to me. My guidance seemed to indicate this would not happen. I wondered why not but did not ask because the answer seemed to be that it was not part of the plan.

I ended up in a dream where I was in school, purposefully breaking the rules by choosing to be with a woman. I found great joy in this and was giddy like a child as I danced up and down a line of students while watching the expression of a “teacher” as I kissed the woman. I remember my hair being pinned up and me taking it down as I danced. The other woman was also doing this.

There was a whole section of the dream where I was talking to others in my class about returning to my 30’s. One guy was holding a newborn in his hands and I said, “I had all my babies in my 30’s.” I remember saying, “If I could be any age again it would be in the decade of my 30’s.”

As the dream drew to an end, I remember hearing the song Unchained Melody and singing along – “Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me. I’ll be coming home, wait for me…”

When I woke I felt that the dream was about feeling free to be myself. I often feel confined in this world and unable to be who I really am because of all the rules and expectations placed upon me by society – Be nice to this person, don’t say anything they don’t want to hear, etc. I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders each time I have to interact with other people because of these rules. Sometimes that weight gets so heavy that I break down into tears from the exhaustion of it.

I began to think of what I said about being in my 30’s again. As I pondered it I realized I would go back to age 30 exactly and make different choices. I would not build my house on my Mom’s land. Instead I would have stayed at my job at the time. I would have opted out of a family entirely. This all came as a result of thinking how I trapped myself by falling for the idea that having a family would somehow fulfill me. In fact, I see this whole world and life in a human body as a trap. I remember thinking, “If I could go back, I would go back to the time before my birth and opt out then. My mom would have miscarried and I would have been saved from this existence.”

I sometimes feel guilty for bringing my children into this world. Now they, too, are trapped by it. 😦

Lightning Dream Symbol

I have had K dreams where I am hit by lightning before so I suspect this symbol indicates the K energy will be fired up by some kind of catalyst. I find it strange, though, that I feel nothing when it strikes. Instead I sit there and say, “I’m okay. I feel fine.” I think the truth is that I am not okay. And no, I don’t feel “fine”. Perhaps my guide is right and being out of this body is not my goal but rather finding Divine Connection while in this body.

The smoldering house is likely symbolic of my life and how the energy is still burning, but slowly, creating a black smoke out the top of the house (my life/body). Maybe the black smoke symbolizes a blackness within me – the empty pit of nothingness that resides there. Or maybe it is just what remains of what could be smothered out over and over again by my refusal to let the flames ignite again. Or maybe it is some kind of signal fire? I wonder if anyone can see it?

I recognize that the K causes me to feel a need to make changes because that is its purpose. But I do not want to change and feel the energy of the desire brought by the Kundalini is not something to be sought after. It doesn’t last but it makes one think it will. It is deceptive and intoxicating. To reach for it will only result in suffering – not only self-suffering but also the suffering of those I love. I may be unhappy now, mostly from boredom and disconnect, but at least I am not suffering. I am secure and have many blessings. That has to be worth something.

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OBE and Message: Go to Florida

After hearing my husband brag about an OBE he had two nights ago, I went to bed last night feeling a bit jealous. I have been sleeping really deeply lately so my dreams are often lost upon waking. The tiredness keeps me from lucid dreams and OBEs so when I wake I feel like I’m missing out. So I said to my guidance, “I would really like something interesting to happen tonight.”

Something woke me up around 2am. I have no clue what but I ended up going downstairs to get a drink and was wide awake by the time I got back in bed. Seeing the perfect opportunity to try WBTB (wake back to bed), I began to repeat in my mind, “I am now out of body” over and over. To be honest, I have never tried the repeat method but heard an online friend of mine has success with it so I figured, why not?

As I was repeating “I am now out of body” one of my guides reminded me to set an intention for my projection. I thought about it and told him I wanted to be shown what I need to see (one of my favorite intentions) and when I can go Home (lol) because I have been so, so bored lately.

OBE

I don’t know when I shifted because I can’t recall feeling any vibrations. What I recall next is sitting in my bed as the body of a warm cat pushed itself against my hands. The cat was purring and I could see it was brown tabby. I remember thinking, “I don’t own a cat….” and then realizing I was OOB and could take over the experience. I chose not to take control, though, instead allowing the experience to show me what I had asked to be shown.

As I petted the cat (female sexuality, femininity), I heard music in my mind and sang along to the familiar song while also recognizing it was a message from my guides or Higher Self in response to my request to be allowed to cut this life short out of “boredom”. I wish I could remember the song now but all I can recall is that it was something like, “Why give up now when you’ve come so far?” Knowing it was a message I needed to remember, I grabbed a pencil and began to write it down on a piece of paper.

Then I noticed that the paper was covered in algebra problems and I remember thinking it would be a nice way to occupy my mind and time. So I set to solving the equations but also knew it, too, was a message. Algebra and math was always easy for me in school. I loved the challenge and the step-by-step process and rules to follow. So perhaps there is something in life that is similar?

Recognizing the messages I had been waiting for had been revealed, I got up and took over the OBE, flying out of my bedroom and down the stairs to the front door. When I opened the front door it flew open and disappeared. Outside the sky changed from dreary, dark and rainy to blue skies and a brilliant day. In front of me was a forest of Magnolia trees (a strong will and resolve to make changes in life when needed). When I noticed them I felt giddy with glee.

As I flew among the trees I saw that the dreary, rainy skies were all around me but I was left untouched inside my bubble of light. I remember thinking the rain and dreariness would surely get me, but my bubble of light remained and I took thrill in this.

Then a force began to pull me upward. I surrendered to it, allowing myself to be pulled upward with greater and greater speed. My eyes automatically closed but every once in a while I would peek out and I would see those Magnolia trees below me. I smiled and then shifted back into my body.

Message: Go to Florida

When I shifted back to my body I remained in the in-between as I thought of the OBE I had just had. My memory here is faded, though. I know I went back OOB but I don’t remember anything about it except talking to someone and being told, “Go to Florida.”

When I woke I struggled to remember the song I had been singing in my OBE. For some reason the song, A Whole New World was in my head, but I know that was not the song. The section of the song that was repeating, “I can show you the world….let me share this whole new world with you.”

I am not sure what the message about Florida is all about. lol It felt like when the opportunity arises I should go, whenever – if ever – that is.

Overall, a nice OBE if not a little odd. 🙂

 

 

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On to 2020

I know I’ve been quiet and not posting much these days. This doesn’t mean nothing is going on just that I’ve been focused on other things. I hope you are all fairing well in 2020 so far.

The energy and shifts have been quite intense and promise to remain so. I don’t know if this will continue throughout the year but if it does I am ready and willing to ride whatever storm(s) of change it brings. I have already been given glimpses of my own year to come and the sense is that action rather than passive observation will be on the agenda as the year unfolds. My husband even mentioned to me last week that he felt 2020 would be similar to 2014, which for us was all about massive change. We witnessed a marriage, a death, two births (one our own), the sale of our house, and a move to another city. I changed jobs twice and began to experience intense Kundalini dreams, prophetic visions/messages and just a sense that it was time to seriously step into my role in helping with the ascension here on Earth.

I have already jumped into my “work” and am being reminded to take it one step at a time so as to not overwhelm myself. The first item on my list was to edit my Light Code Oracle deck guidebook, which I completed yesterday. 🙂 The guidebook was far too large to fit into the bag alongside the cards and had some minor grammatical and formatting errors I wanted to fix. I had wanted to create a box for the cards to go in but decided against it since I rarely see people who use tarot and oracle cards use the box. The little black velvet, drawstring bag works much better in my opinion.

At some point I want to get my artwork professionally scanned so I can sell prints but currently this is not financially viable. I am exploring other options such as taking high definition photos and creating the digital files on my own.

Right now I am exploring how to gradually begin offering readings and other services out of my home. I never stopped offering them really but I stopped advertising and going to metaphysical fairs back in 2007. So far I have found some places to advertise but looking at the metaphysical fair option has me feeling uncertain. I don’t feel like jumping right back in will work out well. I have to build back up to my previous confidence level first. I’m also not sure what services to offer this time around. The services I use to offer don’t feel right to me now for some reason – those being psychic and mediumship readings specifically.

I may decide to focus on selling my Light Code Oracle deck. Right now I utilize the GameCrafter website who produces and sells the decks as they are ordered. I don’t do much advertising. As a result I haven’t sold many decks. I have the option to bulk order the decks and sell and ship them myself, which I could do in person and via Amazon. If I do this it means I must dedicate myself, my time and resources and so I am still thinking about whether I want to go in that direction.

As far as regular, mundane life choices, I come up for a raise and promotion at work in February. If I receive the compensation I have requested, I will continue on in the position which allows me to work from home up to four days a week. If not, I will resign and focus on more spiritually motivated work.

That same month my husband and his brother will be signing a contract that give them each 20% stock in the company officially making him and his brother co-owners. This in itself will be a huge shift. It also means I will likely get my promotion without issue.

I recently signed up for medical insurance which begins this month. After the heart speed-up incident I had last August, I felt I should at least get checked out. I have an appointment in two weeks for a full, well-woman exam and physical. I don’t know if bloodwork will be part of it or not but it is at least a step toward monitoring my health. My last physical was in 2014 and I have not been to a doctor for any medical issues since that time. Since I haven’t had any other strange heart incidents my guess is that it had a spiritual source rather than a physical one. We’ll see.

Finally, I have been intuitively sensing some major issues up-coming for my sister and my mom. Whether these issues will blow up into full-blown change is up to them but yesterday morning I woke up very concerned and worried over what I was sensing. I had to remind myself to be the passive observer rather than jump into judgment and criticism. The injustices I perceived are likely a result of my own unhealed issues rather than the reality of the situation.

For those of you reading this, what do you intuitively perceive for 2020? Will it be like 2014? Will it really be a year of “clarity” and “vision” like I have heard so many others predict? I would love your thoughts.