Unexpected Kundalini surprise in a dream this morning. It’s the first time in a long while that I’ve felt good upon waking. 

But first another short dream, one where I see my grandmother.

Dream: Wrinkled

This dream is fuzzy now but when I had it, it was quite vivid.

I am outside near my grandparent’s chicken coup and rabbit hutches. It is dark and the scene seems to shift between being outside to a dark room. My grandmother is with me and when I realize it is her I apologize to her for having her run so much. In my mind I am seeing my grandmother sprinting across the yard. It feels like I am training her to help her lose weight and get in shape. I mention to her that she was 82 at the time and probably too old to be running. She reassures me that I did not cause her death. I feel somewhat better. 

The conversation shifts to old age and wrinkles. My grandmother mentions how old and wrinkled her face got as she aged. I see her face clearly, remembering fondly how beautiful she was. I tell her that I think her wrinkles are beautiful. They come from smiling and singing. I trace the smile lines around her cheeks and say the singing wrinkles are the most beautiful to me.

Message

I woke up remembering my grandmother and considering the messages in the dream. A whisper of a question came to me, “How long has it been since you last sang?” I knew the answer was, “Too long.”

The messages, hidden in symbolism in the first part, seem to point to out how I am fighting a losing battle. Trying to outrun old age doesn’t work. It finds us all. Getting older can be a beautiful thing. It feels like she was suggesting that I will “run” myself to death if I continue in the direction I am going. She, herself, did similar. The suggestion is to focus on “smiling” and “singing”, which to me means doing the things that bring me joy. Singing is one of them. I don’t smile or sing very much these days. 

The dream comes after I told my personal trainer I need to take a break. For two weeks I am going to take it easy. After that I will start back on training, hopefully with a new mindset. I struggle with the idea of stopping altogether because I know that I need to keep my body healthy and exercise is the way to go. However, too much and with the wrong goal in mind, will not make me happy. Love for one’s body doesn’t mean forcing it to look a particular way, it means listening to it, down to a cellular level even, in order to better gauge what it needs. 

Kundalini Dream: That’s Not the Problem

The dream begins with my return from a vacation with my family. We arrive at a classroom (life lesson). It resembles an elementary classroom. My memory of where I was is not accessible. All I recall is a plane followed by being at the classroom door. There is also memory of parting ways with someone, a man who accompanies me. 

The man, who I can’t see but is standing behind me, asks me a question before I enter the classroom. He asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to come to the library (to seek wisdom) with me?” When he asks me, I recognize the time is 4pm and that he is suggesting I skip school and go with him. I tell him I need to go but don’t speak any words. He sends me a feeling of, “Okay, your loss” and leaves. His general energy is positive and somewhat amused, like he is saying, “I told you so”, in advance.

When I walk into the classroom it is very full. All the desks have young students in them and a female teacher is at the front. I ask the teacher what is going on, why is my desk occupied? She tells me they are playing a game and points to the back of the classroom. She says, “You can sit there.” I see what looks like an upside down bucket (self-restraint). I think, “She wants me to sit on that?” I feel insulted but don’t argue. I look at the floor as I walk to the back of the room and sit in the makeshift “desk”. 

I observe the “game” for a while from the back of the classroom. It appears the students are enjoying themselves but I can’t remember any specifics about the game except that students would walk down the isles of desks one at a time. 

Looking around me, I see clothes hanging from hooks above my head. It reminds me of a souvenir shop. I see t-shirts and tank tops with various messages written on them. I decide I want one, because, why not? But I can’t see any I like. 

Meanwhile, the students are all very immersed in their game. I am invited to take part but decline the invitation. I am just not interested in playing. The sense I get here is that I don’t belong and is similar to how I often feel in life. I watch people “playing the game” all around me but rarely, if ever, participate. 

Then I get a text message on my phone. When I look at who sent it, I realize it is the man who dropped me at the classroom door. I think, “Why is he texting me?” The sense is that this man is just an acquaintance and not someone who would communicate with me outside of work hours. 

When I read the text I instantly realize this man is much more than he seems to be. The text itself is lost to me (which is disappointing!) but the feeling I get as I read it is very vivid. He tells me that what I am doing is not working and gives me a synopsis of my current life issues. The issues involve my current relationship specifically. I do, however, remember the last thing he said, which was, “But that’s not the problem.”  

As I read his text, my heart chakra exploded with bliss, feeling to open up to the point that it extended all the way to my feet. I instantly knew the man’s intentions. It was a complete surprise, totally unexpected. I had no resistance whatsoever. If there was any, it melted away. All I wanted to do was respond to his invitation with a “YES”.  

Let It Happen

Before I could ask him to elaborate on what he said, I woke up, heart still expanded and bliss pouring through my body. I was thinking, “Tell me what the problem is” as I woke and I was a bit miffed at myself for waking up before I could get an answer. I knew there wouldn’t be one. I would be left hanging, but I didn’t care. I was too caught up in the heart bliss. Oh how I’ve missed it!!

I remember thinking to myself, this (the heart bliss) is what I’ve been missing. I can have all the orgasmic, erotic, tantalizing Kundalini one can imagine, but without the heart bliss, it will always be lacking. Without the heart, the merging of Heaven and Earth cannot – WILL NOT – happen. 

To my surprise, the heart bliss remained for a long while after (at least an hour) and I dipped into the in-between where I communicated with the man in my dream who sent the text message. Whether he is a guide, a person, or both, I can’t say. We talked. My mind was going all over the place, questioning what this experience meant and wondering if there would be more. What I heard in response was, “Just let it happen”. Ha! Just like the song I wrote about here. 

A chorus of a song was going through my mind while I lay there floating in bliss. This is the part I recall:

Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

The more you say, the less I know
wherever you stray, I follow
I’m begging for you to take my hand
Wreck my plans, that’s my man

When I finally got out of bed for the day, I had a slight pulling in the left side of my chest. It wasn’t painful but it was enough that I knew a block had been released, or was releasing. This isn’t really much of a surprise because I have been so emotional lately. I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing some heavy duty clearing work in my sleep. 
Another song was going through my head as I got out of bed. It repeated:

And I want you to unravel me (but I heard “Remember me”)
Come closer, come closer……