The cooler weather has hit Central Texas. That along with the earlier evenings as made sleep that much easier for me. My dreams brought more chakra activity and Kundalini realizations.
Dream
In this dream I was inside an RV or tiny home. The inside was very nicely done with light oak walls and floors. There was a man with me who I seemed to be in a romantic relationship with. He and I were standing in the kitchen. We were both smiling and laughing. Something about him made me feel young, vibrant and alive. He came close and put his hands on my hips, looking in my eyes and I responded by putting my hands on his shoulders and sliding them down to the front of his chest. His body felt younger than me and just touching him woke me up sexually. I explored his body with my hands and mentioned how much younger than me he felt to be. He leaned in and spoke in my ear saying he was worried I may get pregnant if we continued like we had been. I giggled and said, “I’m 50. I don’t think that is going to be an issue.” He kissed my neck and said “You can’t be much older than” and started listing ages, “29”…kiss…”35″…kiss. I laughed, enjoying the electric sensations each kiss sent up and down my body. I said, “There is still a chance but it is very low.”
The inside of the little house we were in seemed to get larger and I remember seeing that it had a steering wheel up front, so it was definitely an RV. The man I was with was up front and then came back to where I was in the kitchen area. He asked me if I would consider sharing him with another woman. In fact, it felt like he wanted me to join him with another woman – a threesome. While the electric energy between us was still present, ever inviting me into his arms, I hesitated. He leaned in and kissed me, encouraging me to agree. It was difficult but I told him, “I don’t want to share you with someone else.” His touch and kisses made it hard to stand my ground, but I did. I pulled away and told him I would not do it. It felt like, in that moment, I lost my chance with him because of my decision. I understood that he was fully sexually energized by our relationship and as such thought adding to that would be a good idea, but I knew it was not.
Interpretation
When I woke the Alan Walker song, “Alone” was going through my head. Specifically, “I know I’m not alone”. My second and third chakras were activated, also, especially the third chakra. I vaguely recall seeing water leaking out the back of the RV in the second dream. This water leakage was likely a flushing out of old, stagnant emotions and energy located in the second and third chakras. The RV is symbolic of my life journey and it’s clean and pristine condition is a positive sign. The man is likely my masculine side, showing me that my sexual and creative energies are still present no matter my age. This male part of me asked to share the energy with another which tested my boundaries. Normally I would agree in order to keep the peace and not lose the relationship but in the dream I stood my ground. So, all-in-all, the dream was meant to purge old, stagnant ideas, beliefs and emotion while helping me see that I have made great progress so far in this lifetime.
I also woke thinking of how I felt when I had my second K-connection. It was so amazing that I wanted to share it with as many people as I could. I wanted to become a “K-slut” for lack of a better description. It was short-lived but this dream reminded me of that feeling. My partner in the dream was activated and because of his newfound energy wanted to share it with more than one person. I know that such connections are sacred and to invite another into that energetic bond dilutes and corrupts it. Therefore, I stood my ground despite knowing it likely meant I would lose the relationship.
Kundalini Insight
I would describe the initial stages of my Kundalini journey as highly energetically charged and manic, characterized by extreme highs and lows. The highs were such that I lost sleep, felt restless and experienced surges of creative energy I could not contain. There were times I would just sit and cry in heaving sobs from the overwhelm and seeming inability to contain the Love and connection to All That Is. As a result, during those highs I looked to find ways to channel the Love and creative Source energy coursing through me. One such way was painting. I ended up painting 52 acrylic paintings that I later turned into the Light Code Oracle. Another way I channeled the energy was through Light Language. I learned that Light Language had healing qualities and have since used it to enhance my Reiki healing sessions.
The extreme lows were the most challenging. I was overwhelmed by past life information, often re-experiencing moments from other lifetimes that were traumatic and highly emotionally charged. For example, during one particularly intense downward spiral, I re-experienced my own hanging. The result was a near compulsion to repeat it in this life time, something very scary to endure. Thankfully, my awareness was such that I was able to allow that trauma to move through until it subsided. Similar to the extreme highs, the lows resulted in periods of insomnia and sometimes periods of extreme exhaustion where no matter how much sleep I got, I still felt tired.
I now understand that the extremes were the result of the K clearing energetic blocks in order to create a cleared, unobstructed channel (known as the Sushumna nadi), one clogged by lifetimes of stagnant energy intensified and compounded via this present lifetime experience. Thankfully, the K doesn’t do it all at once, though it might seem so when in the midst of it. It comes through in waves. For me, the first waves were the most intense, but over time they became less and less so. Now, though I am still experiencing clearings, they are mostly benign. I have more bliss than anything, and that, my friend, is the BEST part.
The insight I gained from last night is that my dreams are, and have always been, giving me a window into the deeper work being done by the K. While I believe most, if not all, of the major blocks have been cleared, there are still remnants. A healthy energetic flow systematically clears away lingering sluggish energy. Is mine healthy? My guides say, “Mostly”. lol So, that is a relief I suppose. Regardless, current beliefs and conditioning continue to create much that will need scouring and scrubbing away. The work of the K is truly never done.
Anyway, back to my dream insight. For those new to the high’s (and lows, but we are speaking of high’s here) of a Kundalini activation in the early stages, the usually highly sexually charged energy (the creative) can, and does, invigorate and enliven a previously “dead” energy system. Imagine a canvas painted in black and white suddenly splashed with color. Our biological drive as humans is creative in nature. This is our core both as spiritual Beings and as human beings. Creation in the biological sense equates to procreation (ie. sex).
So, it is completely normal to want to express ones innate creative capacity via sex.
However, to do so in the midst of an awakening is not advised. It can result in energetic contamination and entanglement (obsession). When you have sex with someone, you absorb their energetic imprints, emotional baggage and traumas. Even exchanging energy (physical sex or spiritual Union) with a single person during this time can disrupt an already unstable energy system. Doing so with many partners can cloud one’s intuition and stall the upward progression of the Kundalini. It directs the energy downward which can ground the energy and trap the person in an energetic loop of obsession, craving and fatigue. Ultimately, this trap can lead to Kundalini psychosis.
In my dream I recognized the trap and avoided it. I have learned that lesson through experience. The high’s and low’s I mentioned above are only exacerbated when the Ego gets involved and the Ego is what sends us looking for an energetic release (sex and partners).
What is the solution you might ask? Ignore the mind if you can. Shut it off. How? Channel the creative energy into a project or other creative endeavor. Follow your greatest excitement. When the lows inevitably move in, practice grounding such as: gentle yoga (child’s pose, savasana, legs-up-the-wall, other grounding poses), walks outside, Epsom salt baths, mindfulness meditation, and exercise (outside is best). Focus on activities that take you out of your head and into your body. If you struggle, find a good book or watch a mind numbing show for a little relief. The intensity will cause you to re-experience things you would rather not. Becoming the observer is best here. When you are not going through the intensely high highs and lows, practice becoming the observer. You can do this simply through mindfulness meditation and other meditation practices. And if it gets to be too much, you can always seek help through traditional means. Though some would advise against medications, I do not. I have found antidepressants helpful in the past as well as sleep aids and herbal supplements.
Image of garter snake encounter over the weekend. This one was cold so very passive, so much so that I was able to pick up and hold him/her. To me the encounter symbolizes the changes in the how I currently experience the Kundalini – much easier to handle.
