8 Months

I overslept this morning and my daughter almost missed the bus. When I woke up I heard the bus beeping which means the driver was waiting for her. My husband had been awake and never woke her up or prepared her. She flew out of bed and onto the bus unprepared. I made him take her what she forgot but I really wish I could rely on my husband for something so simple. I needed the extra sleep!

My tiredness is just increasing. I suppose the major geomagnetic storm a couple of days ago is the culprit. During the day the constant message/knowingness I am getting is to focus on life and get my shit together. For what? I have no clue, but apparently I need to do some things.

There was a message not long ago about integrating. It came to me quite suddenly and makes sense. The living between two worlds sensation that I have been experiencing since 2003 has long become my normal but I have always felt a distinct difference between the two worlds I have lived in. Now it seems that that distinction is fading. The two worlds seem more and more blended. My waking life is an active integration of the two. No longer are my spiritual experiences distinctly separate from my mundane experiences. The two are becoming one and the same.

There is a part of me that desires for the separation to remain. There is a sadness that this time is coming to an end. Yet I know that this integration of the two worlds within me is meant to be an example for others because eventually this will be everyone’s experience.

I hate to tell you this (those who are just beginning this journey or those who have not yet taken that first step) but the integration, the embodiment, is not looking to be some grand enlightenment or explosion of knowingness. From the way I am seeing it now, it just seems normal. Yes, I have had some grand experiences, some intense moments of knowingness, some enlightened periods where I feel the Oneness and vastness that is Me/We. But like all things experienced multiple times from within this human form, I have become normalized to the experience. It just IS.

I’m not saying all the work has not been worth it. Nor am I saying that I am done. We are never truly “done” anyway. What I am saying is that life keeps on and so do we regardless of the spiritual experiences and advances we have made. Life in itself IS a spiritual experience within the limits of the physical.

That vision I had of myself in 2003, of walking between worlds – on one side the physical/mundane/3D reality and on the other side life in Spirit/4D/5d and beyond – those two worlds are merging. Within US. Every day my life reveals to me how those two worlds are being experienced as One and the same. It can be amazingly beautiful but at the same time very intensely harsh and eye-opening. The days of retreating into my spiritual haven are gone. My haven is everywhere and in everything now. My spiritual experiences are now mixed into my waking life and my waking life is now mixed into the spiritual.

My mind is undergoing a major change in and of itself. This is where the blending of the two worlds is most noticeable. I have memories surface in my waking hours that are not from this timeline. This is now normal to me and I just let it flow. For example, I had a memory of a woman that I met and knew to avoid her, yet I had never met her in this timeline and as soon as I realized that, the memory of her vanished and could not be contacted. I will also catch myself having conversations throughout my day about things unrelated to my current life but very obviously related to another life in some other timeline. Sometimes they are conversations with my guides and other times they are full interactions with individuals not related to my guidance. This is my experience of the merging of the two worlds. This will also be everyone’s experience in some shape or form eventually.

Incidences such as these will just increase. Thankfully I am not confused by them as I have learned to navigate my mind and these timelines as if they are in this one. It does intrigue me when I become suddenly aware of these different lives/timelines and I use to try to seek out more information. I have learned this is pointless as my focus needs to be here, in this moment. Besides, I can choose to put my attention wherever I want whenever I want.

The challenge for me is to change my way of thinking of these two worlds. Well right there – TWO – hahaha! That is false in itself and I need to change my thinking right there. In considering the two as separate I constantly desire to be on the other side. This side I relate to as the world of Spirit, the Divine, the inexpiable, the limitless, the infinite and eternal. This side I relate to all that I feel I am not or am not able to be/achieve within this reality. My heart knows this separateness is false. My mind still needs to adjust. Majorly. lol

So now I understand what is to occur in the next 8 months. My mind needs to catch up to my heart. The integration period needs extending. My poor mind is still stuck in duality. Even as my experiences show me daily that this is false, my mind habitually shifts into rationalizing every experiences to match the reality it wishes to create. The movie screens of the mind and the heart need to be synced. The two must project the same image.

 

Astrological Forecast

I wanted to share with you all the forecast I received from Litebeing (Linda) not long ago. She did an excellent job and I am so very grateful to her for her insights and wonderful explanation of everything.  I highly recommend her! Thanks so much Linda!

Some members of my Walk-in group on FB have been discussing astrology and how the walk-in manifests in one’s chart. There has been mention of YODs being a significant indicator of a walk-in as well as the planets Neptune, Uranus and Pluto. During my next solar return I just happen to have a YOD in my chart. This in combination with the three planets listed above and the fact that my guidance has already told me to expect major changes during my 40th year has me thinking everything is lining up for a walk-in-type event for me. We’ll see I guess.

Astrological Forecast Notes

Mars: Up until end of June it is in Sagittarius which means a tendency to be “called” by my career and to be more social. It also increases the romantic relationship front. These in combination have the potential to exacerbate family issues and ambivalence. All I can say is God help me until June! lol My first thought was that this will increase the conflict I have with my husband who does not agree with me giving readings or being vocal about my experiences. If I feel I need to then I am sure many arguments will ensue.

Jupiter: Prominent in my chart, which she says is a GOOD thing. Up through August social relationships will be on the rise. I will feel more alive. By Oct this shifts to more focus on the occult, going deep within, being more analytical and intuitive, powerful and sexual. Jupiter tends to make everything bigger, accentuates things.

Saturn: Until August more focus on career. Saturn may cause a tendency to be more melancholy and depressed but if I am willing to work this could be a good time career-wise. Since I tend towards the melancholy I suspect I will be depressed. Plus, I am turning 40 so not sure I will be wanting to celebrate. lol In Nov/Dec there is a high likelihood for arguments especially with men. LOL Delays in relationships and testing of relationships also likely. In February relationships become more balanced and there is stability all around, especially money-wise. Practical love. Is there such a thing? Added bonus is that someone with a lot of Saturn influence like me tends to be more mature and patient. I laughed at the patient part.

Uranus: Not much to say here. For me it has to do with finance and self-esteem. Since I don’t have issues with money then it is likely self-esteem that is the focus for me.

Neptune: The planet Neptune is about creativity, spirituality, and dissolving of reality. It has been in my chart since Feb 2003 and is in the 1st house. It coincides with my first awakening which is no coincidence. It will remain until 2021. At age 40 I hit a developmental cycle which will propel me into public view, increase creativity, exaggerate mood (ugh), and increase psychic and empathic connections. I confirmed that I have already been told that my 40th birthday is significant this year. Looks like another major spiritual upswing is coming.

Pluto: In my chart until 2030 in the 12th house (dreams/unconscious). Pluto is intense, transformative; about purging, releasing, rebirth.. Lots of information comes in dreams. Hard to initiate action. Others come to me. I attract others and circumstances to me. Currently Pluto is in 7th house in my progressed chart which is good – self-learning, healing relationships with men, more sexual. I shared with her how I have witnessed in my life how relationship find me not the other way around. Friends befriend me, not the other way around. Men pursue me. Jobs find me, too. If I have in my mind where I want to work or what kind of job, I find it almost immediately. Few interviews, usually just one or two, and I know before I step foot in the place if it will produce a job. Pretty cool really. Maybe this is why my guides tell me that I am “good at life” and at manifesting?

Asteroid Ceres: Makes me a nurturer, focused mother, protector, very maternal, focused on health and food. This can also cause much grief. hahaha

Solar Return (from 40th birthday this year to 41st next year)

10th and 11th houses rule this year. 10th = career, 11th = social life, groups

She said to me, “This is a public year for you.” Yay? lol

I have a YOD which she says is rare and called the “finger of God” so a very, very good thing to have. I only have it this year, it is not normally in my chart. The 3rd (communication), 5th (love/romance) and 10th (social/public) houses makeup the YOD. At the same time my 11th house (community) is “packed”. She says my social outlets are related to my purpose.

Progression Chart (how my chart progresses over time)

Currently my sun is in Virgo, my moon is in Taurus and my Ascendant is in Aries.

Aries makes me more fiery. Moon in Taurus means I’m more stable and grounded. Aries likely will make me more athletic. She says my 7th house (primary relationships) is “packed” with the focus being on partnerships – teaming up with another.

Jupiter is in Gemini which will likely cause me to have an urge to teach and find reward and self-worth in teaching.

Overall she says my Aquarius ascendant makes me “strange”, but then she is one too so we got a good laugh at this.

She also said that based upon my chart I should be a total extrovert. That I’m a “tuning fork”, I impart wisdom to others, I combine psychology with healing and the occult and I travel. I have a Trine that is the mark of a psychic/intuitive as well.

Overall it sounds like a good year with lots of interesting changes ahead. I am intrigued about the social aspect because right now that is pretty nonexistent. The travel part is also curious to me. I don’t consider myself a traveler, though I traveled quite a bit in my 20’s. So far I have been to: Mexico, Canada, Honduras, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand plus almost every state in the US. Already this year I have a trip planned to Mt. Shasta at the end of this month. My husband wants me to go with him to North Dakota in June. I have yet to decide if I will.

Thus far I already notice the shift towards career-oriented thinking. The public aspect has yet to really show up, but I can see myself shifting in that direction already. I suspect June-July will begin to reveal more.

Mother’s Day OBE

It isn’t a grand OBE but since they are so few and far between, I will take what I can get.

I found myself sitting on a sofa in my house. Feeling very tired, I struggled to stay awake. No one was nearby and there was a strange sensation about me that made me a bit restless. Yet at the same time I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep.

For some reason my thoughts are hazy. I remember feeling that I was not dreaming – that I was awake. Yet at the same time I struggled with this consideration and kept trying to figure out how to wake up in the dream I was obviously in.

In this lucid state I fell to sleep only to find myself OOB and floating above some plants in my back yard. They were tropical looking plants, their bright green leaves sparkling with dew. They were spectacular and I kept inspecting them because looking at them brought me great joy. Even now the visual of these teardrop-shaped leaves is ingrained in my memory.

Then I was back in my body within the lucid dream. The shift from within this dream to OBE and then back seemed to awaken me even more. I recognized my house but everything was in the wrong place. The sofa I was sitting on was in the dining room and not at all where it should have been. My thoughts are still hard to contact here but I do recall that I stated over and over, “I am OOB. I am OOB.” I said it a good 10-15 times. As I did, I recall shifting out of my body in the lucid dream and feeling a tug back to my body that was very, very strong. There was also a very strong pull into unconsciousness that I was fighting. I felt as if a rubber band was around my lucid self and the self sitting on the sofa in the dream. Very strange!

There were thoughts at this time that I would surely fail to exit my body. But by some miracle I was able to separate completely. As soon as I did, I shifted out of the dining room into the backyard and up into the sky. I looked for the teardrop leaves that I had seen earlier but my vision was all gray, like storm clouds muddling the scenery. I did spot them but their previously green, luminous leaves were a solid, light gray.

I looked up at the sky which was covered in gray clouds and said, “I want to see light.” The sky began to lighten and I felt myself lighten along with it. And the more light I felt, the more I felt pulled upward and into the sky. But I did not want to go up into the sky. I wanted to stay and inspect the beauty that surrounded me. Despite my desire to explore, the sky kept pulling me up, up, up and I feared I would be taken out into space. I don’t know why I got afraid when I felt this pull. I consciously know that it is a signal that I am shifting to a higher level; that my vibration is rising. Yet this time I feared it.

My vision blacked out and instead of shifting into a different scene I felt myself re-enter my sleeping body. The vibrations were really erratic though and a bit disturbing. Something felt very off about the energy and I rejected it. I did not want to return so perhaps that is why it felt so off? It was like I was being shaken very vigorously and had I been awake it most certainly would have made me nauseous.

 

 

The Ankh

I awoke this morning in a similar state to how I fell asleep but without the dizzy spells. In this state I was speaking with someone and repeated a name several times. Or at least at the time I thought it was a name. The only part of it I remember now is Ankh. I specifically recall the name had two syllables but the first part – Ankh – is all I could recall once fully awake.

Not long ago I was given the name Hermes by one of my guides. Hermes is linked to the caduceus which in turn is connected to the Kundalini. In this article the caduceus is also linked to the Ankh.

I have Egyptian connections via past lives. These have just recently been revealed to me but I do not have nor have I ever had a specific interest or fascination with ancient Egypt. Yet this morning when I heard the name I knew instinctively that it was Egyptian in origin and my first thought was that I needed to look up Akhenaten. My first thought when I read about Akhenaten was Ancient Alien theory. This is mentioned in the above link. I connected this with my Starseed origins but did not overthink it.

I am not sure what all of these symbols mean yet. Since they continue to arise in my conscious mind I must assume there is a reason.

The Rainbow

Last night, quite suddenly, I recognized a symbol that had been presented to me for the last 24 hours multiple times. Sometimes I am quite dense, especially now.

The Rainbow

The first time the rainbow came to me was when I published the last post on this blog. I was searching for pictures and in my mind I saw a brilliant rainbow connecting Earth to the Heavens. It seemed like a bridge so I of course thought of the Rainbow Bridge. Since my first thought was this was related to pets and not me, I chose a different picture and moved on with my day.

I had to visit the orthodontist to fix an issue that had come up with my braces. I have a slight overbite and they had to place bite turbos in the back but they had worn down and so had to be replaced. They put a new kind of turbo behind the front of my teeth. I now look like I have tiny vampire fangs behind my front teeth. lol These turbos cause me to talk with a slight lisp. They gave me a sheet to read over and over to help me to correct the lisp. The sheet was called “Rainbow Passage”. I read through it once without making a connection.

Finally, as I was trying to sleep last night, I entered into a strange kind of semi-delirium. I would seem to fall into a semi-trance type state briefly. This would border on sleep but I never would actually fall to sleep. Then I would recollect things that had happened but seemed to have no time frame attached. I also had dizzy spells with this – like my entire world would be spinning. Since I have never passed out but have come close I can only guess that what happened to me last night was that I passed out/fainted several times only to return disoriented. It is hard now to recollect everything that occurred during this time but one memory that I returned with was being instructed to immerse myself in the rainbow, allowing each color to permeate my Being. It was when this memory surfaced that I connected the other rainbow messages and understood.

There was so much knowingness when I would surface from these episodes of unconsciousness that I remember wanting to get out of bed and write it all down. Yet my guidance encouraged me to return to sleep and with their encouragement I lost all interest in remembering and fell asleep. It was a very strange incident and I’m not sure what to make of it.

Rainbow Symbolism

Rainbows have long been associated with following one’s heart and purpose. To make it to the end of the rainbow is celebrating as a great accomplishment. There is also the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow representing one’s dreams come true. Unfortunately, the pot of gold is often never found which can represent one’s endless search for something that will never be.

My vision of the rainbow bridge, however, suggests a connecting of my Earthly Self with my spiritual Self. To me this indicates balance and receptivity. This article explains the many meanings of the rainbow and the messages it brings.

It is especially interesting to me that the rainbow can represent ascension. I received a message on Wednesday. The message was, “You will be married in two days”. I understood this to mean a spiritual marriage. Since today will mark the second day, I suppose I will see if this “marriage”comes to pass.

Dream: Heart Maze

I went to bed with questions, lots of them. One in particular was about the coming ReUnion phase.

Dream: Heart Maze

I was having a discussion with someone I know from the internet. I could hear her very clearly and she had a distinct accent. I am not sure what kind of accent it was, but I remember seeing her screen name flash in front of me several times. She was addressing my fears about the ReUnion phase and what it would mean for me.

There is much missing from the dream now because it was the first dream of the evening and I awoke right after. I thought about writing it down but was too tired and so set the intention to remember it. I should have written it down.

In the discussion I do recall that she directly answered my question about whether the phase meant I would meet more individuals with whom I had a strong heart connection. I don’t feel I can handle anymore such connections and so was worried more were coming. She said right out, “It is inevitable.” hahaha

She then showed me why it was inevitable. There is little memory of her words now, but the images are quite vivid. I saw the human heart up close. Inside of it was a maze. It looked like one of those maze games inside of a small plastic container. The object of those games it to get a tiny silver ball through the entire maze just by moving the container.

I saw the “heart maze” and inside was the tiny ball. The woman explained that the paths of this maze were not clear. Sometimes I would come up against resistance. I saw then a blockage in the maze that looked like a small piece of debris. The silver ball could not pass through. She explained these were emotions and that in order to remove the blockages I must allow the emotions to flow. It was stressed that too much focus on the emotional debris would keep it in place.

I remember she told me that these connections were a blessing and to welcome them with open arms. She was very encouraging and positive. The overall feeling was that these connections were mutually agreed-upon and spiritually supportive. A blessing and a gift.

I wish now I could remember everything she said, but the feeling when I awoke was that the heart connections were meant to help clear these blockages. The connections blow through several blockages and clear more of the path than if they do not occur. I remember making a mental connection with the video game Pac-Man. The connections give me super powers to blast through the blockages. lol

I awoke feeling very grateful to my friend for helping me with this understanding. However, I am still not looking forward to the ReUnion phase. I think I prefer clearing out my blockages one at a time to gaining superpowers from a partnership. lol

OBE: Human DNA

I awoke at 5:30am wide awake and determined to fix my life. lol I got up and got a drink of water to try and calm down because even though I was prepared to do some drastic things at that very moment, I knew better than to do anything when in such a state.

I returned to bed at 5:55am and tried to meditate. It didn’t work too well at first but slowly the irritation melted away. The last thing I remember is hearing the tiny footsteps of one of my children as they went downstairs. I remember thinking, “That’s it. I’m going to have to get up soon.” Then I remembered it was Sunday and realized I didn’t have to get up. So I rolled over onto my left side to sleep.

Lucid to OBE: The Plan

I found myself in a dark room along with two others both of them men I think. I couldn’t see well but the energy was good and so I assumed the lights were just off. One man in particular was very close to me. I could feel his arm next to mine. This brought on full lucidty and I knew I was OOB. I looked at my hands and said, “Clarity now” and could feel and see everything stabilize. Still feeling the man so close to me I began to immediately want one thing: sex. LOL

I kept trying to get the man interested in me but he was talking strangely. Talking about a “plan” that needed to be worked on and asking the other guy if he had gotten the information. The whole conversation reminded me of a James Bond movie or “Black Ops” type stuff. I was not in the least interested in what they were saying, though.

The man I was interested in kept walking away from me as he was talking. I was aware of a door and heard someone enter and them whispering. Still not caring, I got the attention of the guy and tried to kiss him and he sent me a message telepathically that this was not what we were suppose to be doing. lolol Looking back on this now I am sure I was in my child personality – all bubbly and high energy and a bit sporadic. I definitely don’t listen well when I am “the child”.

At some point I lost connection and shifted into my body. I could feel the energy still prime to go back out, so I did.

OBE: Human DNA

Back in the scene again, I immediately went back to trying to get the guy interested in me. The conversation continued about this “plan” but I was oblivious. Instead, I wanted to play.

Looking up I noticed a staircase and grabbed onto the railing. I swung up and around it and then landed right on top of the man. I still can’t see him but this time he allows me to embrace him and kiss him, but something is weird about it. I did’t physically feel him but instead it felt like a blob of plastic. And it is like I am kissing air. Undeterred I hear him say something like, “There, I’m done.” I say back to him, “I want to see you.” I strain my eyes through the darkness to try and see him. I see an outline and move closer and then he ducks out of the way. He does this several times until I grab onto him and push him down onto the floor.

Finally thinking I will be able to see this mystery man, I look down at the person whose shoulders I have my hands on. My vision suddenly brightens up, like someone turned on the lights. In front of me is not a man at all but a small girl with long, blonde hair. When I see her I let her get up and she looks at me a bit stunned. I’m stunned briefly but then see a flash of color through the windows. “Fireworks!” I yell to the girl. She looks confused. I say to her, “Come on! Let’s go see!” I grab her hand and she resists, pulling back, but I am bigger and stronger and just drag her along behind me.

I go right through the door – no resistance. It is like it just disappears. The girl is right behind me but I don’t feel like I am dragging her anymore.

We fly out into the road and I can see the bright reds, blues and whites of what I assume is fireworks. At the same time, a small child comes running toward us. He is all alone and couldn’t be more than 3 or 4 years old. I say aloud, “There’s a kid coming.” I heard a boy’s voice respond but I never see who it comes from.

I turn to see who is speaking to me but my attention is drawn to my own house. It is bigger than life and so grand looking, the white bricks gleaming. It resembles a mansion. I also notice that we are standing lower than we should be. There is a small, stone stair that leads up to the house. Being this stair is not there in real life, I take note of it wondering briefly where I am.

I still see fireworks and hear booming but am confused because no fireworks I’ve ever seen looked this way. I say aloud, “I wonder what it is?” and send a mental thought wondering why the colors were not streaming down like fireworks do. And hear a male voice say, “It’s human DNA.” And I think, “Of course.”

I grab the little girl’s hand and we fly toward the noise and lights. We are stopped suddenly by a black military Hummer. Men in black and gray military garb wearing black hats and carrying radios hang out the windows and glare at us. This is when I begin to think the fireworks are not fireworks but flares and the booms are guns.

Curious and with absolutely no fear, I float down the street and see tall apartment buildings to my left. I hear yelling. I stop and look up and on a balcony above there are several men in black with guns. They are pointing their guns at civilians who are wearing their night clothes and very obviously afraid. I hear a gun go off and one of the men in black yells. I see a woman, obviously terrified, follow orders and stand where she is told. There is a line of scared civilians behind her. I know a man had just been killed and shudder a bit from the knowledge of this.

We continue down the street which has now morphed into some unfamiliar city. It reminds me of the UK but I have not been to many European cities so it could have been anywhere. The reason it reminded me of the UK is that there were shops on the lower levels of the buildings and above them were apartments where people lived. The buildings were very close together. Quite cramped for space. This is what I saw when I visited London.

I saw on the streets two men standing and watching the commotion on the balcony above. They look foreign but their skin tone is white and both look to be in their 50’s. One was smoking a cigarette. I asked them if they were going to do anything. The man with the cigarette said something like, “We don’t get involved” and they both shrugged their shoulders. Both were wearing a red cloth armband and their clothing reminded me of clothing a rebel or militia member would wear. The color was mostly green but it was not a uniform. It was familiar to me but now I cannot place it.

There was a realization at this time that pulled me back into my body. My last thought was, “Too many of us are bystanders.” And I felt so sad about how few of us were trying to help. It was like the entire OBE was a lesson on the state of the world and why it was the way it was. Too many bystanders.

Message

Back in my body I sensed my guides near and said, “I want to go back.” I knew my energy was not right but despite that I still tried to return. Instead I ended up in the in-between with several guides around me. It was like the first OBE – the scene was dark and I could not see anyone’s face.

I could sense the presence of both male and female energy. Still trying to will myself back into the scene, I kept trying to catch the right wave of vibrations to exit. When it became clear that I was not suppose to leave, I settled down.

Then I heard a male voice say, “You have six keys left.” In front of me I saw an illuminated golden key ring and six small, golden keys dangling from it. Before I had a chance to think about it I heard a woman’s voice say, “We’ve been trying to tell you. You can’t act prematurely. There’s still six left to go.”

There was more said without words. I knew these were the ones helping me, who have been helping me for a while now. There was a sense that I was not being very cooperative and this was their attempt to get me to listen. The message was clear, “Now was not the time to take action. These feelings will pass.”

Edit: I took 100mg B6 prior to bed. I’m starting to think B6 is my ticket to OBE. lol

Waterfall

From the minute I woke up this morning until just a few moments ago, reminders of the waterfall in my most recent dream have been everywhere.

When I went down for breakfast this morning, this was on the counter:

img_20160416_173349.jpg

Drawing of Angel Falls by my daughter, Adrian.

I had not seen the drawing before this morning, but I knew immediately what it was and my dream came straight into my mind.

Shrugging it off, I went about my day only to see an article in my news feed with this picture attached:

waterfall2

So now I am taking notice. What did I miss about the waterfall in my dream? Obviously I missed something or else I wouldn’t be seeing waterfalls first thing in the morning!

So I looked up the dream interpretation of waterfall:

To see a waterfall in your dream is symbolic of letting go. You are releasing all those pent up emotions and negative feelings. Alternatively, the dream represents your goals and desires. In particular, if the waterfall is clear, then it represents revitalization, regeneration and renewal. Source: www.dreammoods.com

Ok. Got it. Great. Can I move on with my day now?

Well, my day has royally sucked. I don’t know if it because I didn’t get much sleep or if it something in the air (energy) today, but I have been very, very down on myself all day. I held back the emotion of it most of the day but eventually it hit me full force and all I could do was allow it to flow. I absolutely hate the feelings that came up and have not been too easy a charge for my guides today I am sure.

Then I get a message from a friend about my waterfall dream and how beautiful it was. Though I am pleased to get the message, there is the waterfall coming up again!

I put it out of my mind. Again. My frame of mind at this point is, “Whatever. Go away (guides).”

Then I am in tears because everything in my life doesn’t fit and I don’t know what to do about all that has happened to me since December. There is an awful feeling that I will feel like this for the rest of my life. That nothing is ever going to get better.

Then memories of last night come up. My husband and I were suppose to go to a concert but he got the address wrong and by the time he figured it out we would have been over an hour late for it. So we gave the tickets to friends and went out to eat. The topic (he brought it up) was divorce. Not ours but his best friend from high school was getting divorced after 16 years of marriage. My husband went on to tell me all the similarities between us and them. What is weird is that he rarely talks to this friend, had reached out to him months ago and just now received a call and this was the news he was given. Things were really feeling surreal and I felt uneasy for some reason. So I ordered a 20 ounce margarita. lol

As the evening went on, the subject shifted and my husband was asking me about a particular person. Well alcohol makes me very happy. I’m a happy drunk (well I was buzzed anyway). lol So when we talked about this person I smiled so big and could not help it. I could feel myself come alive and though I tried to stop it and hide it, it was too late. My husband saw it and said, “See! Look how you light up!” Oops! And I kept smiling after and laughing, making excuses for myself and eventually it all blew over. I think I smiled for the next three hours straight, though.

And the contrast between that happy high and this miserable low I now found myself in was just too much. I told my guides that I couldn’t take it anymore. Then life interrupted and I sucked it all up and moved on. You gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Later, I sat down to reply to an email. As I finished up the reply I looked to my left and saw the words, “Let It Go.” Hahaha! Those words were written on a piece of music sitting on top of my husband’s keyboard. From the movie Frozen. You may have heard of it….:)

Now I am still obviously dense because even though I have the messages, I am wondering, “Let go of what?” And as I type this I am reminded of a moment today when I was feeling so, so much and every feeling was conflicting with another feeling and I was thinking, “I shouldn’t be feeling this” and “What is wrong with me” and so on and so forth. I remember being told amidst my upset, “What is wrong with feeling what you feel?” With this came the idea to pay attention to those very feelings.

Ha! Me, pay attention to my feelings? hahahaha

And now I am thinking that maybe I have been letting go all along, just letting go of the wrong thing. Maybe. But then I still doubt. I have no clue. I’m hopeless.

Another ReUnion Phase Ahead

The preparation stage is nearing an end. Are you ready for the next stage of transformation?

The energy “pressure” has been building all week. Geomagnetic storms, sun spots, gamma ray bursts, and planets going retrograde (Pluto, Mars, Saturn and soon Mercury). I was unable to sleep last night and when I awoke this morning I heard, “A ReUnion phase is approaching that will last through the end of July.” Ahhhh!

My understanding of just what is meant by “ReUnion” has shifted over the last four months. December, 2015, is the first time I heard the word used by my guidance. At the time, I assumed it just meant that I would meet up somehow with others of my soul family. How the “meeting” would occur, I didn’t know, but I assumed I would be connecting with others in the physical in some way, shape or form, presumably via the internet because I don’t get out much and don’t really know many in my area similar to myself.

I now know just how naive I was…still am most likely. I am reminded as I type, “You are just a child.” Hahaha I am almost 40! Yet I know what They mean. Spiritually, I am still learning to walk…… No. They say. “More like ride a bike.” That’s better, I suppose. lol

They show me that this ReUnion phase, like the past ones (and there have been many more than just the one last December) is a necessary part of the process of becoming Whole. Pieces of our Self are brought back to us. Reunited.

This ReUnion can come in numerous forms from meeting up with a kindred (twin?) soul in the physical to aggressive healing at all levels. There are so, so many ways one can reUnite with those “lost” pieces of Self. Though there are numerous ways this ReUnion can present itself, know that whatever form visits you it will be life-changing on some level. These intense periods are meant to push, push, push you past whatever is holding you back. Think of it as an eruption of Self from the inside while, simultaneously, fragments of Self are flowing back like metal slivers are attracted to a magnet.

I have learned from my past experience with this type of acceleration that remaining the Observer is best. The last time around I failed miserably at doing this. When I hear that another ReUnion is likely in the next few month, I hold my breath for a bit because I am not sure I can handle anymore. Yet I am reassured that I can. Glad my guidance has so much faith in me!

 

 

Songs as Messages

I’ve been meaning to post the below song for a few days. It sat in my drafts folder for far too long. Since another song is on my mind this morning, I figured I would post them both.

Message maybe? I specifically hear the part of the chorus that says, “Come along and you’ll see what it’s like to be free.” 🙂

Then this morning a song accompanied the heart fire bliss that made me laugh out loud. I have heard it before from my guides but it felt more appropriate than ever this morning. When my husband heard it was on my mind, he insisted that he play it loudly first thing.