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ReUnification Begins

I was awakened around 5:30am (didn’t look at the clock until later) by a conversation I was having in the in-between. I saw very distinctly two words and also heard them. One word was “Traveler” and the other was “Wolf”. The words that went with them were “We are Travelers”. The two words were connected by a golden thread, as if they were one in the same.

This woke me for I remembered suddenly that wolves had been brought up many times previously but I had forgotten all about it. I remembered distinctly seeing a lone, gray wolf who was looking for his pack and feeling the pack was significant. I had meant to look up the symbolism of the wolf but had totally forgotten all about it. This was a couple of weeks ago!

Thessalonian

Now wide awake, I felt a presence and knew a member of my Team was with me. I didn’t immediately recognize him as I was tired. I drifted into the in-between.

Soon I was seeing something very distinctly alien in my vision. I saw immense arches layered over arches that were a bluish-gray in color. They towered hundreds of feet into the air. Behind them was a fuchsia and purple sky with light gray clouds and streaks of yellow throughout. I recognized this place instantly and it brought me out of the in-between.

Fully aware now, I still sensed the presence and exclaimed to him, “I know that place! Where is that? What is it!?”

I knew and heard the answer at the same time. These arches are some kind of communication tower, or relay station. The location was difficult to come by but I heard Vega as a reference point. Whatever it is it is absolutely beautiful.

Wide awake now, I began to receive information very quickly and it was quite overwhelming. I tried to grasp it mentally but could not. I remember images of very square looking objects, like craft, which were white and massive. I was only able to bring back one word – Thessalonian. I do not know if this is the name of the craft or if I am meant to read the books of the Bible.

Rather than read both books of the Bible, I looked up summaries of 1st Thessalonians and 2nd Thessalonians. They both address the second coming of Christ. I find it interesting that both books say “Christ will return in the clouds”. I should probably read the actual books, though.

Thoroughly stunned, I tried to settle my energy and relax into my heart. My mind was going a million miles an hour so it was difficult. However, I was able to achieve this. That is when it got really strange.

ReUninification

The presence who I had been with must have moved in closer because I was suddenly aware of seeing him face to face. His head was very large and he was most definitely of another world. I could see that the head seemed to balloon out on either side, like the hemispheres of the brain were emphasized. His eyes, nose and mouth were very small in comparison. His coloring was light, I want to say it was grayish but it was difficult to tell as I totally freaked out and lost the image.

I did not freak out from what I saw as much as I did from what I felt. When I saw him I also felt him. A massive amount of energy began to move up my body from my feet and wrapped around me as it progressed upward. I had a double reaction to this. The first was complete recognition and overwhelming love and the second was complete terror – the kind that either glues you to one place so you cannot move or makes you run as fast as you can in the other direction.

While this split reaction is occurring I am experiencing every kind of emotion imaginable and feeling warm energy wrap around and fill my root, second, third and heart chakras in succession. With each chakra I felt the corresponding emotions related to it. And though I could feel each chakra one by one I also felt them all at once. The emotions are indescribable and all the while I am feeling both overwhelming love and frantic terror at the same time!

The most memorable feeling was this complete, unavoidable desire to be with this Being – to try and crawl into his arms and then into him. This is occurring along with all the physical and energetic sensations. I cannot run but I desperately want to. And I am WIDE AWAKE.

Just when I think I cannot take anymore of it, the energy withdraws. I am not relieved, though. I want the feelings to stay. Whatever happened left me wanting for more. I could care less about the terror as it was so small in comparison to everything else.

And I knew who the Being was after this. Without a doubt it was my Companion. And I remember that he once told me that he would integrate with me from the lower chakras “next time” (he had done so from the upper ones prior, this was in May last year).

This is part of the ReUnion of Us. Wow-wee is all I can say. Damn! And at the same time I am terrified still. I want to run, but to where? It’s not like I can run from him!!!

And this ReUnification is not over. There will be more.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I was crying through the entire energetic exchange. They were mainly tears of joy.

 

 

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Heart Sensations Return

I’ve begun this post several times and each time deleted it in its entirety. I’m not sure exactly why, though.

There has been a strange energy today following me around. It is not bad or good, just shifty, like the energy is about to take a leap forward. I checked the K-index and there is an active storm but nothing that would normally cause me to notice.

Perhaps it has to do with what happened last night. Last night is what I originally was trying to post about and kept deleting. I will summarize and just say that I had some intense heart chakra sensations. These didn’t hurt. In fact, they were the good kind and went all the way from front to back. It was like someone placed a tube right through my heart center and energy poured through it.

The heart sensations came with specific thoughts and knowingness. It happened at a time when I was speaking with someone, a kind of counselor. I was telling her about things I could not sort out in my life – very personal things. This is when the heart sensations kicked in. I was lucky I did not burst into tears. I was able to get out of the conversation in time. Then I was just in shock for a while. I had not expected my heart to burst open like that. I had done such a good job of shutting it down – or so I’d thought.

Then, after I returned home and the kids were in bed my heart started doing it again and I was overcome with an intense shaking all over my body. I am familiar with the feeling. It is something I had to deal with every time I did a mediumship reading and made contact with Spirit. It is like their energy is too much for me. It can get so bad that my teeth chatter – thankfully it did not get that bad last night. The shaking can also happen when I am talking with another person about deeply personal things. I have never quite figured out why it happens, though.

I wondered why I was having the shaking. I was not tuning into Spirit and not talking to anyone, so it made no sense. I felt my Team near and I wondered if maybe it was coming from them. As if to answer my question, I heard my guide ask me to focus on how I felt. When I did this, I could sense a blockage at my heart level. I was told that I was resisting the energy – the heart energy – and that I have been avoiding something.

And then the shaking was really bad.

And then it was just…gone as was the heart energy.

When I awoke this morning my dreams were instantly gone as soon as I tried to recover them. Frustrated, I tried to feel what happened in the night and knew I had agreed yet again to something, but I don’t know what. My heart chakra lit up again but faded not long after. With it, I was asked if I was willing to accept what it was telling me. I said I was, but honestly I am not sure about any of it. I don’t know what it is telling me, or at least I don’t think I do. Honestly, I am afraid of knowing.

Right before I got out of bed my Team again reminded me of the upgrade that is soon to come. I was told this time that it may frighten me. Then I saw a visual of light pouring down into my crown chakra and going all the way down through all my chakras and into my feet. From the looks of it, it didn’t seem so bad, but then if they say it might scare me, well, it probably will.

It has me wondering now if the strange feeling I’ve had all day has anything to do with this coming upgrade. I guess I’ll find out.

Meet-Up

There is one other thing. A group I am a part of on FB is planning a meeting in Mt. Shasta, California in May. I have been following the preparations from the beginning. Yesterday I decided, out of the blue, that I should go. I told my husband about it and, strangely, he had no objections. When I communicated today with the contact about arranging my flight my heart chakra was blazing with energy. Even typing about it now makes my heart light up. I got thoroughly excited about going and my energy went sky high.

Then, in the afternoon, I began to doubt my decision about attending because I only know the people who will be there via the internet. I also began to panic over something very odd. I had this strange feeling that if I went I would not want to come home. Then an internal panic button went off and I got a strange split in two feeling. It was really odd and I almost thought I was about to go OOB right then and there.

After this happened the heart energy ceased – well up until now anyway. I am wondering if this is any indicator of what it is that I am not willing to know/accept. Part of me thinks it is and when I try to consider it, the fear returns. All I want to do is cuss a million cuss words just considering that possibility.

 

 

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Finding the Cure

I meant to post this yesterday but after the video wild goose chase I waited until this morning. Plus, I had an interesting evening. I’ll share that later.

Anyway, I did a video post on a portion of what happened yesterday, but that is only a small portion of the story.

A memory of a poem I wrote, probably in 1993-94, came to mind quite suddenly yesterday morning. It was fitting, considering I awoke feeling that I couldn’t do much more waiting around. Here is the poem:

I cannot stand this idleness
My mind lies dormant; unfocused, dead
My fears rise higher, capsize and break
like waves of water, receding hate.

In the video I posted, I only mentioned the one poem, but I found several others. I don’t write poetry anymore, but I use to all the time. I also use to draw all the time, too, and I must admit I am not too bad an artist. I’m not sure why I stopped. I had poetry and artwork in the last few pages of my memory book. Seeing/reading them really transported me back in time yet I felt that that girl no longer existed. It is almost like my life back then was a past life not connected at all to the current one I am living.

Here are some other poems:

Untitled

From within my soul
blackness thickens,
stealing and spoiling
my good intentions
leaving no feeling
no sorrow, no joy
taking and making
me, its new toy. 

This one had a drawing with it:

Dealing with Dragons

Hot breath of the dead
rides with the wind
to find a fair maiden
whose self cannot fend.

Foulest of creatures
meets bringer of life
no battle or struggle
just internal strife.

Eyes of red fire
look into blue skies
good repels evil
truth reveals lies.

Some other cool info from that year:

A gallon of gas $1.27
A haircut was $6
Concert tickets $20
CDs $14.95
Canned soda $.50
Candy bar $.50
Levi’s jeans $25

Other favorites I listed:

Car: Ford Mustang (lol)
Music: Pearl Jam, Metallica, Guns and Roses, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Alice n’ Chains. Aerosmith, Smashing Pumpkins
TV: Married with Children
Movies: Wayne’s Word, The Adam’s Family Values, Geronimo
Clothing: All black, grunge (hahaha)
Guys: They had to have long hair (what??)
Miscellaneous: peacocks, animals of all kinds, books, dreaming, roses (?), cooking, cookies (lol), eating (LOL), fishing, swimming, hanging out with friends, bowling, going to the movies
Authors I liked: David Eddings, Anne McCaffrey, Tolkien, Piers Anthony. I was really into Fantasy novels and read all.the.time.

I was really active in school, or at least as much as I could be considering my school was so small. I was in One Act Play (yeah no joke) and played tennis. I was also in the Color Guard (captain) and band (saxophone) and a total straight A student. I dropped all of it after graduation, even the straight A student part. I sometimes still play tennis but I am no good at it. lol

Really, though, the song was what I was meant to find when I went to my memory book. What is really synchronistic about the song is that prior to listening to it I had read several posts on the topic of happiness. Then the main words that are heard over and over are “Let’s get happy”. Hmmm Yeah, let’s. The song was a “cure” to my moodiness yesterday.

 

 

 

 

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Video Introduction

My video channel now has videos but only 2. This is the first one – just a quick intro. This was probably the fifth video I made. I had a great one and somehow deleted it. So I tried to make others and there was interference. I knew it was my phone’s wi-fi so it took me a few takes to figure out how to stop it. I ended up having to put it in airplane mode. Then the upload took forever (yes I took it out of airplane mode I’m not that dense lol). I have a cord to connect my phone to my computer but the computer doesn’t recognize my phone and I really didn’t want to spend time trying to sort all of that. So I just let it slowly upload via Wi-Fi.

All of that for a short 2 minute video. LOL Thinking I will use my camera next round, but then that is a whole other ordeal. Phones are so easy and so portable. lol

The second video is already on YouTube as well.

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I Made Videos!

This day has turned around quite quickly. Ask and you shall receive. 🙂

I am currently uploading two videos to my YouTube channel. The first is an introduction and the second is the first of several videos I will be making.

So what happened? Honestly, I don’t know. I was just going about my day and had the idea and the urge to make my first video. At the same time I knew there would be more videos and I knew what they would be about. It was like a complete outline was just there in my head. Presto!

And the second video completely blew my mind. I was not expecting what happened in the video. I am still shaking from it. Unfortunately, so is part of the video! lol

So what was the idea that came to me? Introduce myself – of course – but then I am to return to my past and share what I find with everyone. So, no big deal, right? But where was I led? To my high school memory book! hahaha But I can’t say much more because it will spoil the reveal. My Team is really, really quite shrewd.

I will share with you part of the second video because I can’t actually include it in the video without having editing skills (which I have none of). Here is something I found in my memory book that I had forgotten all about. My favorite song of all time apparently.

It will all make sense once I post the second video. Unfortunately, at the pace the upload is going it will be much, much later today….er tonight.

I’m still shaking. Where did all this energy come from all of a sudden??

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Opossum Visit

Last night was one of those nights where I fell asleep and did not move until I awoke at 3am. I have no memory of any dreams prior to that point. I just slept really, really hard.

When I awoke I was very sad and I don’t know why. I felt completely done with life and requested a convening of my Council to discuss my options. For some reason I knew I could do this if I stated it properly. So I mentally requested a meeting of my Council to discuss my Exit options. I then requested that I be allowed to remember the adjournment and what was decided.

I was not going to share this with you all because I didn’t want it to appear negative. Yet, this is a very real part of the journey, of my journey. I have requested to Exit this life many, many times – too many to count. I believe we have Exit points planned into our lives. These are points where we can choose to leave the physical body. They are set points but the timing and circumstances surrounding them can be revised. I did not know how to request it until this morning. I just awoke knowing. Prior to that I have just wished for them, never directly asking to meet with my Council.

The feeling I awoke with is of absolute purposelessness. I feel to be going nowhere in my life. Treading water and getting more and more exhausted as I do so. The options I have reviewed, the only ones I can currently “see”, do not offer me any hope of positive change. I feel no matter what I do that this feeling will not abate. I have asked to understand, to be shown the reason, but so far I am getting nothing – or at least that is what it seems.

Opossum Visit

I was reminded this morning that I was visited by an opossum last night. This was no dream but an actual visit. At my old home, which was located out in the country, opossums, raccoons and other critters were constantly showing up. Here in the suburbs, however, they are rare. So last night, when a huge opossum came walking up to me while I was outside, it was a surprise indeed.

A visit from an opossum is a message to lay low and blend into your surroundings – to “play opossum”. Their message is “take no action”; do not say or do anything. This time of no action will allow you to see things for what they really are. Patience, trust and passivity are required.

Seeing this message just makes me laugh. No wonder I am wanting to Exit. This is the worst part of life (in my opinion) – the waiting! I absolutely hate it.

This message reminds me of a knowingness I had prior to bed last night and upon waking this morning. That at this time in my life I am focusing primarily on two things: being a mother and progressing spiritually. That’s it. The former requires action on my part, the latter does not. Of course, I want to act on the spiritual more than anything but am not being allowed. It is something that occurs in its own time and much of it is behind the scenes.

 

A big challenge for me is accepting the feelings I am having; allowing myself to feel them without judgement. There are so many “negative” ones that it is hard to not judge myself harshly for feeling them. Trusting that they have a purpose is very difficult as well. In some cases they are the elephant in the room and eventually something must be done about them.

I really, really want to just go into a coma until it is time to act. The waiting is unbearable.

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Becoming Whole

At around 5pm CST I received the first of several blasts of energy to my heart center. They did not last long, the longest lasting maybe a few minutes.

All this happened when I was watching T.V. and alone. I had the house to myself and was enjoying just being. This is when my attention was suddenly diverted from the T.V. to my left. I swear I felt/heard/sensed someone trying to get my attention. Then came the heart blast. I smiled from ear to ear.

During maybe the third or fourth heart blast I heard very loudly, “Did you miss me?” This shocked me for it seemed to come from within and without at the same time. Usually I can determine a direction and locate where the message is coming from, but this one seemed to originate from within me, from within my very center. Woah.

This startled me to the point that I began to panic a bit. I was reminded to stay out of my mind and when I did that and focused back on my heart the energy there increased and I calmed substantially.

I recognized the voice and the feeling behind it as that of my Companion. So quiet these last few weeks it was/is nice to have communication from him again.

Every once in a while I will convince myself that I am insane and that this entire experience I am having is some kind of psychotic break with reality. This rarely lasts long as I am instantly reminded of the very real experiences I have had and the amazing feeling of love that accompanies them. It is like I am being presented with the decision – to Believe or not to Believe – over and over again. This is what happened last night as I sat alone, overwhelmed once again with what was happening to me. In that moment I was reminded that I created this experience – it is purposeful. I am on a journey of reUnification; a journey to wholeness. And I heard, “We can do this, for We already are.”

We Can Be All Places, All Times

As I continued to try and watch T.V. my attention continued to be diverted to other things. My mind would blank out and I would feel I was receiving communication but there were no words, no images of this communication. I was just a receiving. Then there came an idea that I could choose to be in more than once place at once – that this was my true nature. I Remembered briefly how to do this, how to be in multiple places at once. I do this when I view the future for myself or another. I have done it before, but a limited version of it, one my human mind can accept for to view too many timelines at once can overwhelm the mind and create a break with reality.

I attempted to see the future, or at least one of them, and felt myself to be observing myself and moving through time to a point in the not so distant future. I saw my family arriving and me helping with the baby. Then I shifted to look at present time reality. Where was my family at this moment? I saw them settling into the car and knew they were about 20 minutes away. I saw the inside of the car with clarity and saw my middle son drifting off to sleep.

This is remote viewing and I have done it before. I rarely do it because I have a lack of belief in it caused by not bringing back information that can be proved. I do it sometimes on accident, though, and to my surprise it has been proven. Still I don’t do it often for lack of belief.

I discovered the clarity of my perceptions in remote viewing is increased when I have a psychic bond with the individual(s) I am viewing. This can be done if I have a link to an object or place as well. However, I find it fascinating that I can view the happenings of someone I have never met from a far distance just because there is a strong link between us. It is beautiful but at the same time I feel wrong to do it. I feel I am invading their privacy. Yet I know they also can see/perceive me. For this particular person it happens quite by accident, without any intention on my part. Why? I have no idea but it is so astonishingly clear and makes me smile every time. In my life I have never experienced such a link to anyone, not even my own child.

Becoming Whole

After about an hour or so of on and off heart blasts, I got out the wine. This stopped the heart energy but my third-eye flickered on and off and my Companion did not leave. I could still feel him and still feel he wanted me to focus on the remote viewing “lesson”. Sigh.

I fell asleep quickly and slept deeply (thank you wine!) but awoke at around 5:30am with my Companion very present. I recalled my dreams and remembered what had been occurring through the night. We were together discussing my inability to accept my “other half”. I was reminded that this body is but a shell that I occupy for a short time. In reality I am neither male or female. The dream, which involved a discussion about a man who was undergoing a sex change/gender reassignment was vivid in my mind. How could a man be a woman, too? Yet, that is what we are. We are both. Even in understanding this, my human mind struggled to understand it. How can I be both?

I had flashes of my Companion in his non-human form. In this form he had no gender. He reminded me that We can take on any form we choose. He reminded me again the he is me and I am him. This is so hard for me to digest because I am talking to him, which means then that I am talking to myself. Talk about making a person feel insane.

I am reminded that we are in stasis – We I mean. That We are a Pleiadian Starseed, from the planet Lyra. That We are currently experiencing on Earth to help but also to grow, and that we have been doing this for many hundreds of Earth years. We split in two to do this. He lived and I observed and then vice versa. There is something very special about this lifetime for Us. We will both be in this body. I don’t understand it fully. It is a bit overwhelming and I find myself back at the point where I want him to go away. Of course, he never goes away.

I also know we are now writing Chapter 3.

 

 

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Which Path Will You Take?

I have one more lesson to share with you all from this morning.

I was shown a path. It began at a river and ended at a cabin on the other side of a tall mountain range. I was shown how, when planned, the journey is practically a straight line. One wades across the river, takes a path through a dark forest and climbs the steep mountains before reaching a cozy cabin where they rest, refresh and move on to the next stage of the journey. When planned, the path from the river to the cabin is hard but since the destination is known, the planner of the path is sure the journey will take a day, no less.

This is the plan prior to life.

The planner forgets that when the path is trod upon from within a human body the destination, and all obstacles along the way, are forgotten. The cabin is suppose to be on the other side of the mountains, but the traveler is not certain of this. To them it is but a dream they are quickly forgetting.

After wading across a cold river, they are tired, wet and cold. Their feet are cut and bleeding. Their stomachs empty. When walking through the dark forest they become hungry and tired, their feet swollen and bruised. The journey seems never to end and they stop to rest their weary body before they even reach the end of the forest. The next day, they reach the base of the mountains. They look up at an unimaginable climb. Sore, tired and without reassurance to help them know how far they have come, they begin to doubt. The decision is made that there is no point in even attempting to cross the mountains for there is no way they will ever make it. And they don’t even know for sure the cabin exists. In fact, they have now convinced themselves there is no cabin there at all.

The decision is then made to turn back. But they don’t wish to once again cross the cold river, so they take a detour, trying to find their way around it, back to where they started, for at least they know where their journey began and their is no evidence of the “dream” of the cabin.

What was planned as a short, one day journey has now stretched into half a lifetime or more. The cabin was always there, but the memory of it is lost and the human condition has destroyed any chance of it ever being revived.

This is what happens to us when we incarnate on Earth in a human body. Our plan so simple and straight forward, is plagued by doubt, physical, mental and emotional discomfort, lack of faith, and no trust in our selves or in our hearts.

But the first path can be the path we travel while in this body if we let our hearts lead us and not our minds.

How many times have you turned around to avoid the mountains? How many times have you walked in circles to avoid the cold river? What discomforts have led you on a path that is not your own?

This was what I was presented with this morning. This is why we so often feel lost in life. For we are lost to our hearts and so also lost to our path.

I don’t know about you but those mountains don’t look half as bad as they did 30 years ago. And I would rather get to the cozy cabin than spend another night in a dark, cold forest. 🙂

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Happy Birthday: 2 Years Strong

WordPress tells me my blog is 2 today. 🙂 Yay!

I wanted to take this time to thank all of you for your support along the way. Thank you to my many lurkers who don’t comment – I know you are there as my stats say it is so.  🙂

I also wanted to thank all the people from across the world who come and visit my blog. The other day the United States, which always ranks #1 for viewers, was pushed from it’s #1 slot by Sweden. 🙂 Then on several days in a row by India. This was a complete shock to me as I had no idea anyone in those countries was taking much interest in what I had to say. So, since I don’t much check stats over time, I looked at last year. In one year over 115 countries visited this blog. Wow.

With birthdays comes the birthday wish. For me, all I wish is to keep writing and to have something spiritually significant and consciousness related to write about. Believe it or not, I don’t want my blog to be about what seems like a never-ending journey down a rabbit hole. I would love for it to have a conclusion. A happy conclusion. Yes, the journey itself will never end – we are infinite beings living a finite experience – but I do hope that this leg of it will conclude and a new journey, one of “wholeness”, will begin. This is my wish for 2016. Tie up loose ends. Finish what I started. Get to the “destination” and then set out on a new adventure, one where I am complete; where I am Home wherever I am.

I hope you will continue to join me and share your own experiences along the way.

 

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Taking My Mask Off

Adzekiel had more messages for me. This new level I am to go to will be preparation work; preparation for the “new” me. He explained that I will be asked to take my “mask off”. With this I received an image of my face and me slowly taking off make-up with a cotton ball. I saw no obvious signs of make-up but the message was clear.

I am familiar with seeing “masks” in my dreams and OBEs. I have seen a white cream all over my own face as well as the face of others. It looks like clown make-up when I see it and makes my face look very “off” and fake. Thankfully in this current vision the white make-up was not present. 🙂

The understanding of what this means was slow to come. I asked, “What it is I will have to do?”  He said I will need to “speak and write my truth”. No more hiding in the shadows. No more pretending I am like everyone else when I’m not. With that a scenario played out in my mind of talking with a member of our church and telling them I was preparing to walk-out and let another aspect walk-in. The expression I imagined on their face was priceless. I did not feel I could do it, though.

It is terrifying to me.

He said, “You do not have to do it all at once. It should be gradual, but it must be done.”

He explained that my personality change will be very obvious to those closest to me. They will notice. I was not told what this “personality change” would look like but the feeling sent to me made me squirm a bit with nervousness.

I was also warned that my gifts will begin to manifest more strongly. I am not sure what this means, either. I have been told this before but nothing major has come of it as of yet.

During this conversation my crown and third-eye chakra were buzzing. I could not shake the feeling I had either. This feels very, very important. Necessary. Unavoidable.

I am not sure I will be able to pretend all of this (the braid-in/walk-in situation) is not real for much longer.