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The Next Stage of “Contact” has been Initiated

The three Beings who have been in communication with me for a while now came forward again this morning. It was quite unexpected a I was wide awake when contact was made. They introduced themselves with a very vivid vision. In it I saw are large, almost moon-sized sphere of light fly in from the left of my visual field, slowly move across my line of sight and then stop on the right side of my visual field. The sphere glowed and did not have clearly defined edges. It also contained a myriad of colors blending and swirling within it. I was able to differentiate the colors blue, pink and yellow but there were more.

Upon seeing this I became completely alert and tensed up. Though wide awake at the time, I felt energy sensations in varying areas of my body. My legs felt energized as did my arms and there was a major concentration of energy located right behind my left ear that spread across the entire back of my head (temporal/Broca’s area and occipital lobes). My third-eye and heart chakras were buzzing as well. Note: As this is not my first experience like this, I theorize that these Beings are able to manipulate/activate certain areas of the brain to better communicate and initiate contact.

This time the voice of the three Beings was much closer and I had an immediate fear reaction which then turned to shame. I felt Them request to move closer and I just could not agree to this. The closer They got the more my fear kicked in and since I couldn’t control it distance was needed.

They asked what I thought of seeing Them (as a sphere of light) and if I believed I could handle such an encounter in the physical. I honestly didn’t know how to answer but I feel if it was merely a sphere of light that I would probably not go hide in a corner. lol But if I felt Them in conjunction with seeing the sphere I likely would have a fear reaction. The sensation They bring is so huge and overwhelmingly alien that it is hard to not reject it.

They then began to show me bits and pieces of the bodies They occupy when “working” on me in the in-between and/or OOB. I had seen such images before and rejected them, thinking I had made them up. But here they were again just focused on specific parts. For example, I was shown their eyes very close up. They were large, almond-shaped, dark eyes with no whites and when they blinked they had two eyelids that came together in the center. They also had a third eyelid that was clear and covered the entire eye.

grayblue

This is the color of their skin.

I was shown their skin up close. It was grayish-blue and tended to shimmer in the light, making it look more blue than gray. It was also very porous and rough-looking compared to our skin; less elastic and supple.

Then I was shown the neck area and told it was a hand’s width (four fingers) in length – my hand anyway. This is narrower than a human neck. I saw a windpipe, though.

I began to reject these images at this time. I guess I was just too conscious and could not accept that any of what I was being shown could possibly be real. Despite this, I was given information that I did not ask for. lol

Communication: They are telepathic with the use of a symbolic “alphabet”. The symbols, when sent, are imbued with the essence of the Being who is sending them. It is like the symbols contain the backstory or the history that goes along with the message. The symbols are also not two dimensional, though to us they would seem so. I saw they were three dimensional with depth.

Collective Consciousness: They are all connected to one another, though they are also individuals. They always feel the collective; are one with the collective. Their knowing is so much more developed than our own. Some part of me remembered this connection with a collective consciousness and it made me wonder if I was one of them. I was told I was not, that I was called in to help Earth, as were many others.

Objective: They reiterated that they are the caretakers of humanity, but this time they explained that they are also collecting genetic information (thus their “work” on me). I saw/heard/knew that They were here when “Atlantis was evacuated”. Their role was the “preparation of the evacuees”. With this came an image of a great flash of light. They shared with me that they and two other E.T. species are preparing to make contact – are making contact currently. I tried to get a name for their species but all I was able to ascertain is that they are a “hybrid” race and have been observing humanity since the very beginning. The other two races I was shown but not given names. One looks very much human and the other also has human characteristics. I was reminded of Bashar and the Essassani and Yahyel. Perhaps these are the other two races?

Message: They came to tell us that this next stage in “contact” has been initiated. Contact with those who have been adequately upgraded will commence. Those with which They have already made contact can expect more contact, contact which will be more revealing and “real” to the contactee. Those who have yet acknowledged that they have been contacted by an other worldly Being will now be presented with more visuals and experiences which definitively points to contact of an extraterrestrial nature.

It was clarified that the contactees are few; that only those who have been “adequately upgraded” will experience contact. Therefore, the majority will be oblivious to Them. Others, those not yet ready to acknowledge such contact, will continue with their development/upgrades until they are ready for contact. Some of this group never will be, though.

Warning: They gave me a warning to share. They are very concerned about the increase in the use of recreational drugs. Specifically, certain drugs that are widely popular (marijuana specifically) and now becoming “legal” can be detrimental to individuals who are being upgraded. They remind us that the use of hallucinogens and psychedelics should be limited; used only in times when the individual is needing spiritual guidance or looking for specific answers. I saw a visual of Native American uses of similar drugs and the reverence they are given. This is how these drugs are meant to be used. To overuse or abuse these drugs (use them on a regular basis rather than once every few years or more) can make the individual very vulnerable and expose them to issues they are not yet ready to confront. It also enhances the Egoic reaction to stimuli. Thus, fear and paranoia can result. How can They contact us without inciting fear if we are under the influence of such drugs?

I was reminded of my own experience with such drugs, years ago, and understood immediately the truth behind Their warnings. If you are a contactee or are on the path to ascension and receiving upgrades, avoid these drugs like the plague. They will only set you back. They will induce fear, exacerbate the Ego, and could result in a psychotic break. This can also be true of certain psychiatric meditations such as: anti-anxiety medications (Xanax), various anti-psychotic medications, as well as stimulant medications (Adderal).

 

 

 

 

 

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The Fragmented Self

There was much behind-the-scenes work going on last night, not just for me but many others. We are preparing for the ultimate shift, one in which we will be completely transformed. How many are going through this? I am unsure. All I know now is that my soul group are all going through this together. Some are a bit slower than others, but we are all transforming and at lightning speed, too.

I received a clearer understanding of my particular situation. I just woke up knowing it. My transformation is best termed a “walk-in” but the meaning of this was clarified for me (thank goodness!).

I am integrating a higher aspect. This kind of walk-in is very common and usually temporary. However, I feel my particular case is more permanent as there will be a complete exchange of one aspect (the old) with the other (the new). Currently I am “shedding” the layers that compose the “old” me. I have been asked to return to my past – to review memories, journals, etc. If you wish to follow this life review, you can visit my YouTube channel as I am making videos of what I find along the way.

I realized that this is part of the shedding process. A life review of sorts, preparing me for the exchange. It involves more healing and letting go. It is getting easier as I progress, too. I have been doing this healing for a  very, very long time.

The Fragmented Self

A memory from long ago surfaced this morning. I had previously been told by my Companion that I was “fragmented” and later referred to this as my “Fragmented Self”. Essentially, when life gets tough – the tough run and hide (lol) – or at least I do. When there is trauma, a part of Us splits off. This is coping mechanism and very well known in psychology. It was explained to me that I have to retrieve these fragments in order to become Whole. Some call this soul retrieval. I just call it hard work. lol

 I wrote about it in my blog on July 26, 2011. Here is what I wrote:

At some point, a part of me fragmented away from my self in order to create a me that would survive in this body and do well in life. Unfortunately, the memory of that event is strung out over many years [and lifetimes] and it will take time to regain. But with that memory will come clarity. The clarity is the de-fragmentation of my self. I have already felt the  beginnings of it. Tiny moments of complete and utter calmness and knowingness. It is beautiful. And I intend to get to the point where that calmness and clarity will stay. I intend to reunite myself with myself. I think I am on the right path, too.

All this time I have been retrieving fragments. All this time I have been healing a gaping wound that I have carried with me life after life.

I have experienced the return of these fragments over time. At first I just noticed something was “different” but in recent years I have actually felt these fragments return. These fragments are parts of me on other paths as well – my multidimensional aspects. They shattered and went other directions, into a different “times” or dimension. All of this also involves the collapsing of timelines. It is like all of who I thought I was, who I could be and who I am, is coalescing. As I get more parts, as the pieces come together, I begin to Remember more and this snowballs and more and more parts are returned to Me. It is really a beautiful thing.

Rebirth

In my dreams last night I was preparing for my rebirth. There was much discussion on what was coming. Unfortunately, I recall that the present personality that is in charge was not made fully aware. Thus, I was “sleeping” through much of the conversation. I recall snuggling up inside a sleeping bag while my “class” got on a bus to go on a field trip. There were moments when I tried very hard to wake myself up but the heaviness of sleep kept beckoning and I would ultimately give into it. It was during this “sleep” that the majority of the conversations (negotiations) were taking place. I am told that this is for my own protection as I am not yet ready to fully participate.

Every day I feel a little more of the new me and little less of the old me.

There is a feeling of anticipation along with fear with all of this. Who will I be when this is all over and done with? Also, what do I do then? What will my path be? So many questions arise. Yet at the same time I know that this exchange is ultimately the whole reason for this life and the ones leading up to it. I will be reborn into wholeness.

 

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Lucid Group Meeting

Yesterday’s energies really hit me hard last night. I took a hot bath with Lavender essential oil and then tried to sleep but was wide awake. My ears began to ring intensely at this time. This was one of those ear ringing episodes where it felt like pressure inside my head and the sound kept getting louder and then softer, louder, softer. This went on for the longest I have ever experienced ear ringing and my third-eye was intensely pulling. I quieted my mind and tried to focus on the ringing and that caused my crown to start to pull with energy as well. At this point it had mostly been my left ear but then my right ear started to ring as well and the sounds joined in the center of my mind. It was like they were located just behind my nose area. I could see a pyramid shape from my eyes and nose to this singular point in the middle of my brain. The sounds were of multiple pitches and it was extraordinary!

I am told I am perceiving frequency fluctuations within my energy body. This was first told to me in the middle of the day yesterday by on of my Team members. I had noticed his voice was very distorted and low. It was like one of those voice distorting devices used on cop shows. I had heard this before, years ago while OOB and it had totally freaked me out because I had thought it was a “bad” thing, like a “demon” (how naive). After this, I continued to hear his voice in my mind in this way. So, apparently these intense shifts in vibration/frequency this time around are really impacting my perceptions!

Lucid Group Meeting

I slept very hard and had numerous dreams.Rather than go into the dreams, I will continue to look behind the dream at what was really going on. My guidance is telling me this is the best way to look at my dreams now.

After waking at around 1am I asked to project. I felt this was denied but didn’t care and went back to sleep.

I found myself attending a gathering of “family”. I remember there being 7 of us but more were on their way. The locations was a very beautiful estate out in a secluded area. The house itself was reminiscent of a place I had seen on a trip to L.A. as was the grounds on which it was located. Everything was green and pristine.

I went up to a group who was standing on the veranda that overlooked rolling hills and a large swimming pool. We were discussing the year 1989 (why does this year keep coming up!?). In the dream, someone had gone missing around this time and we were talking about him. We talked about him as if he were my father. I thought of all the people I was with as my “brothers and sisters”.

This is when I met a young man whom I referred to as my “step-brother”. He appeared younger than I with long, curly dark blonde hair. The hair style he was wearing was like something out of the 70’s disco era. lol When we met we exchanged information automatically. It was like I had his whole life story in my head!

He told me he was born in 1962 (why did he look so young then!?) and was very proud of a car he owned – now an antique. A Ford something or rather, I think a Mustang. I remember knowing that most of my “group” came into bodies before me. I had been delayed because I had to abort my last life in 1971 (so I had been born in the 60s). Most of my group, then, are in their late 40’s to early 60’s. Makes me feel a bit left behind. lol

At this time another member of my group made herself known. She was an Asian woman with long black hair who also appeared young. I didn’t get info from her like I did the man, but she did show me part of her life. She had been to China or lived there and was “of service” to others. She was drinking a cup of tea when we were talking. It was in a small, porcelain cup.

Then my attention was focused back on the man who seemed genuinely interested in “catching up”. He showed me that he had gone through a tough time with his Earth family. Someone had died and not left a will and there was conflict in the family because of this. It felt like a really negative situation. I felt bad for him.

Then he embraced me and, since I felt I had known him forever, I embraced him back. I was very lucid at this point and remember that he wanted more than just a hug. It was like he was asking for permission to be more than just a brother to me. Kind of weird! But then I was open to this. Talk about incest! LOL

We kissed and I reached around and put my hands up under his shirt and embraced him. I could feel everything as if I was in the physical. I felt his shoulders and back and I could feel his lips and tongue as we kissed. I was fully into all of it, too, without any concern about cheating on my husband. It was really nice and so perfectly real!

We made out for a long time it seemed and I had no sexual urges turn on. My heart, however, was blazing intensely. This intensity is what ultimately woke me up. As I awoke I could still feel him and taste his lips. I did not want to wake up.

Soul Family

When I awoke I asked the guide who was present, “Who was he? Is he in a physical body?” I heard the name “David” and knew he was in a physical body right now. I was told that most of my group are in bodies presently.

I was then reminded that I had been told They were going to help me with my reaction to “family” so that I would not be overwhelmed (like I was in yesterday’s K experience). I realized that this lucid dream was exactly that. I felt a similar attraction to this man but I did not feel overwhelmed. There was no repulsion whatsoever. I felt connected to him – as if we were two branches of the same tree. There was a wholeness present – a feeling that his experiences were mine and mine were his. I specifically remember feeling that he was a brother to me. This is not the first time I have felt such a connection.

I was reminded of the ReUnion message I got not long ago. There was Knowing that we were all going to come together and I had to be ready for this. “Ready” in this particular instance means I need to not overreact because many recognitions and feelings will arise for all involved. I have little concern if the reUnion is similar to this dream. However, if it is like the previous night’s dream I think I would pass out from such a meeting. LOL

I also thought about the message I got that this summer was going to be “hot”. It appears that I am already heading down that road. If I keep having dreams like this one it is likely I will be one hot and bothered woman by this summer. hahaha!

 

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Today’s Energy

Just an FYI – I won’t be posting all my videos here. So check out my YouTube channel if you are interested in other ones. 

So the energy is intense today isn’t it? I’ve been riding the wave all day long and on one of those energy high’s I love so much. We are in the midst of an intense upgrade if you haven’t noticed. Looks like my Team wasn’t kidding when they warned me of its coming 8 days ago. Soon = Soon, this time around. lol

I’ve discovered that, for me at least, focusing on my heart center at this time is not the way to go. If I focus there I go into brain-dead mode and feel like I am floating around in La-La land. No good. I have kids to take care of and life to live. I can’t function in La-La land. So, I’ve been outside most of this beautiful Spring (yes I said Spring) day. It is near 80 degrees today in Texas with clear skies and blooming trees. That ground hog wasn’t joking when he said Spring was coming early!

Speaking of “ground” hogs (lol),I have been focusing all day on grounding, grounding, grounding. Yet even though I keep doing grounding things – being outside, exercise, essential oils, staying hydrated, eating grounding foods – I am still feeling my energy is all over the place. Thankfully I am at home and not interacting with groups of people or trying to have two-way communication with an adult. 😉

Yet I am still on this amazing high and feel so full of energy and information that I am ready to burst. I feel like a can of soda that has been shaken and shaken and shaken and when opened will spew it’s contents all over the place. This upgrade is indeed intense and I can’t seem to channel all this extra energy no matter how hard I try! If you watch the video, though I sound out of it (brain fog), my eyes are so dang blue! I don’t have a clue why they did that other than to blame all this crazy energy. The whole time I was trying to talk in the video I was spacing out and forgetting things. Talk about La-La land!

Oh, I just remembered. I was told, two days in a row now (keep forgetting) that there are “craft” of the inter-dimensional kind above Ecuador, Spain and Paris, France. I don’t know why They tell me such things. When I asked why, They told me these areas were areas that need attention – unstable energy that looks like jagged lines of green and yellows. Apparently the grid is still in flux and needing reinforcement. How this correlates to what is going on globally is beyond me. I don’t have time to watch the news and if I did my I would likely go into zone-out mode. I would love to hear if you all know, though. Fill me in. 😉

 

 

 

 

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777

Believe-it-or-not, after this morning’s Kundalini rising experience, I was able to return to sleep.

Dream: Super Car

In this dream I was putting my baby into the backseat of my car and my brother-in-law commented on it. He said, “That looks like a super fast car.” I shut the door and looked at it, noting that it has all these spoilers and strange rocket boosters on it. I said, “Where did those come from?” After inspection I said, “Oh, those will go away once I start driving.”

Then I was at a small building where some teachers worked. It was all run down and they were asking if I could take the place of a woman who was retiring. I thought about it and then said, “I would rather have a part-time job and one that was more laid back. This one seems pretty stressful.” The woman who was leaving the job asked, “Have you ever had a c-section?” I didn’t know how it applied to our conversation but I answered, “Yes.” She said, “I’ve had 52 of them”. I was shocked and said, “You had 52 babies!?” She laughed and said, “No, I’ve performed 52 surgeries.” (52; 5+2=7)

Then I somehow fell asleep next to one of the students. When I awoke everyone was gathered in a small room. I told them I didn’t want the job and needed to go and then I was standing in a parking lot. I couldn’t find my car and was looking around for it. I found it down the street and got inside. It drove itself and talked to me (reminded me of the show Knight Rider one of my all-time favs lol). I remember that it was dark and then suddenly light as we sped down a narrow road.

777

I awoke suddenly and in my visual field saw very clearly: 777.

The dream I had made me feel good for some reason. I have dreams of cars all the time. The car symbolizes, for me at least, my life path. It is important to note the condition of the car and who is driving and how I feel when in the car. In this particular dream the car is all souped-up with spoilers, chrome exhaust, racing stripes, etc. It was my car only really, really nice. lol When inside of it I felt powerful and was not afraid. The car also went very, very fast and though I was behind the wheel, I felt not to be the one driving it. It is interesting that it spoke to me, too. Based upon all the indicators, it looks like my path is being propelled forward by an unseen force, one that is comfortable to me and with whom I feel I can communicate.

The 777 is also a good omen. Looks like my spiritual path is on the fast track and it is going well. 🙂

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Yeshua Returns

After the intense Kundalini rising episode, I began to Remember the backstory.

Though I recall the dream in vivid detail, I recalled that I was once again with the three Beings who gave me the name Yeshua the last time they were with me. I saw very vividly the bright light hanging in the night sky and remember once again staring at it while They “worked” on me. The white star, or whatever it is, seems to mesmerize me in such a way that I become “frozen” – unable to physically move or wake up in my body.

I recognized the energy of these three Beings when I awoke. I knew they were facilitating the Kundalini energy. But how?

They told me that they use crystals and that these crystals magnify the electromagnetic field (aura?) to the point that it forces “balance” in the vortexes (chakras) of this field.

Then I recalled that prior to the coffin dream and K energy, I had been in conversation with my Council. I only recall talking to one person, but this one spoke for them all. I was in deep conversation with them; a conversation about my lack of will to live and my feeling of being “done” with life. This perfectly aligns with the symbolism of the coffin from the dream.

Another part of the conversation I had been having with my Council was some kind of activation. It involved DNA/RNA but I don’t know or remember enough about it to really understand or explain it now. I recall shifting into another “body” – going back and forth between my current body and this new one. The feeling of the memory is odd. Indescribable.

I am beginning to shake uncontrollably as I type this and my heart is lighting up and I am suddenly very, very scared. It is an illogical fear for I am completely safe, sitting here at my computer. Yet my heart says, “Run as fast as you can”. Ugh!

Whoever these Beings are who are helping me scare the bejesus out of me. Yet I know that I have nothing to fear. I also feel very strongly that my time with them is far from over. They are going to keep coming back, or I am going to keep going to Them. I don’t know what to do with the emotions that come with this realization. There is nowhere to run to. Nowhere to hide. What do They want?

I keep going to my heart center but that is where They are!

I am at a point now (again) that I really want all of this to just go away. Unfortunately, I know this won’t happen.

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Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead (Kundalini)

The energy shifted yesterday afternoon putting me in a not-so-good mood. I went to bed very grumpy and snapping at my kids. I also had problems with focusing on more than one thing. For example, while driving, my son was jabbering away about something – very happy – and I struggled to focus on driving and him at the same time. I felt on the edge of losing it and my eyes would not focus well either. It was really weird!

At bedtime I had a glass of wine to settle my nerves. I knew another energetic surge was coming.

Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead

I was inside a large, open house laying in a bed. To my left was a very ornate coffin with the lid closed. A woman, the caretaker I presume, walked past preparing to shut down for the night. I was uncomfortable with sleeping next to the coffin. I swear I saw it shake and kept wanting to open the lid.

I told the woman, “I can’t sleep next to a coffin. Is there somewhere else I can sleep?” She said, “Certainly. You can sleep over there.” She pointed to an adjacent room. I saw a nicely made bed with yellow covers and feminine design.

I went to the new bedroom but noticed there was no wall between the rooms which meant I was still sleeping next to the coffin! I saw the foot of the coffin was very close to the bed and again I thought I saw it shift like someone was alive inside! This totally creeped me out.

I went to the restroom to get ready for bed. As I was sitting on the toilet a very large black man opened the door. I tried to hide myself (I was totally naked) but couldn’t completely. The man reacted with surprise and then did not leave but just stared at me. I got a weird feeling when this happened.

He approached me and I froze. I was overcome with mixed emotions. On one hand I was completely drawn to him, on the other I was terrified. He was the complete opposite of the type of man I would be interested in yet a part of me was drawn to him for that exact reason. He was very large – at least 6’5″, and bulging with muscles. He was also either naked or close to it. I just remember seeing his upper half and face. Just being next to him made me feel very, very small.

The closer he got to me the more emotion I felt. It was that split feeling all over again! I felt the repulsion/attraction and began to think, “I can’t do this. I’m married!” Eventually I started saying this out loud, as if saying it would somehow fix everything.

This is when I became lucid. At this point he was face to face with me and I was squirming while also not able to move. I felt paralyzed! All of my lower chakras were blazing and I was overcome with the most intense desire I have ever felt and it was not letting up – it was escalating! The energy was moving up, up, up and my heart was catching fire. I had no idea what to do. I was completely caught up in the desirous feeling while also screaming out, “I can’t! I’m married!!” over and over. I laugh thinking about it now but at the time I was totally freaking out.

I remembered being instructed to focus on my heart when I was feeling fear so I tried that. Problem was that my heart was caught up in this desirous fire that was enveloping me. I don’t recall thinking about that, though. My only thoughts were that I was being unfaithful. At the same time I was trying to convince myself that it was okay and my husband would never know (LOL!).

So what did I do? I threw out both of my hands and began to focus on the palms of my hands. I could barely do this, though, because the man had completely embraced me and we were wrapped around each other – braided into one another! We were completely blending, braiding, into one another.White and black. Black and white. Like Yin and Yang.

The last thing I remember is seeing that both of my palms had vortexes of energy spiraling in them. They looked like they contained tiny, rotating galaxies! I could see the sparkling stars swirling in them!

2000px-Yin_yang.svgAfterward

The spirals in my palms woke me up. When I awoke the energy was still coursing through my lower three chakras and my heart was settling down. I literally woke up squirming. The energy was so intense that my body was involuntarily jerking and swaying back and forth. I yelled out, “I want to go back!” This surprised me. WTF? Here I had been both terrified and electrified and wanted more? Hahaha

The energy began to settle after a bit. My heart continued to pull with energy, though.

I wondered why I keep resisting. What was I afraid of? This is not the first time I have reacted in such a way to the advances of a “man” in my dreams. Something about the energy rising terrifies me. With my wondering came memories. Past life memories.

The one that was most pronounced was from a life when I had been a child slave in the U.S. I was about 12 years old and a group of white men gang raped me. As each would take their turn they would place a wood plank over my throat to keep me from screaming out. My windpipe was crushed. I almost died but I didn’t.

The other memory was of being hung in the Middle Ages. I had been male and caught fornicating.

My throat chakra began to blaze when these memories hit me. I heard from one of my guides, “These memories/lives will clear.” Okay.

I looked at the clock and it was 3:30am. I spent the next hour or so thinking about the experience and the symbolism. The coffin was especially interesting to me. I was scared of it. I think it was me inside the coffin. Part of me feels “dead” and I believe the entire experience was meant to get me to realize that I am literally being born again.

I also wonder – what will happen if I don’t resist the raising of this energy? It was so unbearably intense. So intense that I felt I would die from it but at the same time I felt that I would experience something akin to breaking into a million pieces of me or expanding into a million pieces of me. This would bring an ecstasy beyond words. Wow.

God help me.

 

 

 

 

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Mid-Life Crisis?

The energy yesterday was so calm and nice wasn’t it? Or maybe it was just me acclimating to the “upgrade” I received that morning. Not really sure upgrade is the right term, but who knows. Something happened that was intense and significant and left me in a brain fog calm most of the day.

Last night I had dreams all night long and I remembered them. Not only that, but when I awoke in the middle of the night I returned to the dreams as soon as I fell back to sleep. Pretty cool except that the dreams were not very interesting.

When I awoke at 5:30am (I did check the clock this time) I was in tears. Sigh. Really? Come on! I am so done with this crying crap! Ugh!

Anyway, here is what was going on in my sleep.

Class: Creating Dreams

This was not the actual dream. I don’t remember the dream now as it is not important. What I do remember is that after the dream and while still in the dreamstate, I was aware of being with a group of familiar lucid dreamers and astral projectors. I know them all from online, but have not met any of them in person (yet). We were discussing how to create dreams. I can’t remember the exact conversation now but when I awoke I knew that I had been in a class about how to stage dreams for the human consciousness so that they addressed certain issues. In this particular class we were learning how to do this for our own waking consciousness. Wow.

I remember we “selected appropriate symbols”, symbols that our waking consciousness would recognize. Some are universal symbols but most are not. Most are symbols we, ourselves, attribute significance and meaning to. We use this collection of symbols to construct our dreams and communicate with ourselves. It is fascinating!

This is also done to communicate with others. We can do this while still in life or while in between lives. We access others’ symbols and use them to communicate via the dreamstate. I knew about this because my father and other relatives have done this with me both in lucid states and during projection.

Mid-life Crisis?

The rest of my dreams fit together like a story. I recall being with my sisters, much younger than today, and catching a school bus. I also remember seeing a young girl who had hurt her left ankle and was calling for help. I assisted her, putting her ankle on ice. Then she transformed into a chubby infant. I played with her and cuddled with her, talking to her in baby talk and just filled with love for her.

It was while I was playing with this baby girl that I said to her, “I can’t have anymore babies.” This caused me to fill with such an intense sadness and I burst into tears.

When I awoke one of my guides was with me. I immediately checked his appearance and he looked human (relief lol). I didn’t ask which one he was. I didn’t care. I was still too upset and confused over the dream.

I realized that I was grieving a loss of my youth. I suddenly felt very old and the saying, “Youth is wasted on the young” popped into my head.

It seemed very much like I had wasted my life, my youth.

I wondered then if I was entering into a mid-life crisis. Perhaps that is why I have been feeling so split – one part of me wants to leave everything I have behind and begin anew and the other wants to stay right where I am so that I don’t hurt anyone. I feel young, yet when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. I look tired and beaten down by life compared to when I was in my 20’s. And when I consider making the drastic changes to my life that I feel the urge to make, I think my age will ruin it all; that I will run out of time, out of energy, out of physical attractiveness.

He’s My Mirror

Then I realized that the very feelings I had for my Companion yesterday morning – the combined intense attraction and repulsion – I also have for myself. I love who I have become on the inside – as a person – but when I look at my outside (physical body/ life) I don’t like what I see. Now these feelings are much less intense than what they were yesterday, but I can see it – feel it – just the same. It is like when I felt him, I felt myself.

Karmic Attachments

Then I saw the patterns, karmic patterns, and was confused. In my past lives, I have been in this situation before. I had made both choice options available to me now. So which is the karmic path I am to avoid? Then I was reminded that karma is not a path, it is attachment to a certain path or decision. The attachment is formed by beliefs we have about what is “right” and what is “wrong”. Karma allows us to sort through these beliefs and release ourselves from them. It really doesn’t matter what decision I make – the “selfish” one or the “right” one. What matters is that I release myself from the judgments I place on myself. If I can make a decision and be fully secure in that decision and not judge myself for it, then I can detach from it and thus break the karmic cycle.

I asked why I was being shown all of this. I was told, “We love you. We want you to be happy.” But be happy at what cost? This is where I am currently stuck. Mid-life sucks.

Lot’s to digest. Not sure I can not judge myself. Man this is hard.

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Message from the Council of Many: Port-holes are Available

You are growing. Like a sapling. Like a tree. The nutrients you need are always provided, yet sometimes you will not drink of the love provided. It is love that is your greatest sustenance. Why do you not drink of it?

Do you not see the lacking of love within you? It is in lack that you have grown forgetful and with every lost memory of your Self, of your origins, that lacking grows and becomes ever more emboldened within you. This is where Darkness thrives. Do not be a nurturer of Darkness, of the lacking of love.

Port-holes are available. From these openings of love…which, by the way are located within you, at such a deep level that most are unaware of their existence….you can draw forth more of your Self. You can drink of the love that is You. We are providing you evidence of these port-holes. All you need do is listen. Feel. Breathe. And from there you will enter. Admittance is always free. There is no charge. There is no loss. There are no repercussions. Only finding Self. Finding You.

You ask about the Fear. What is it? How can you defeat it? This is a question often asked and the answer is simple for if you find your Self – Love – then fear is nothing but an afterthought, a candle in the wind. When you are Love, there is no room for fear. That is your answer. Simple, is it not?

You have been so long without Love, without the feeling – the Being of – embodiment of love, that you have forgotten how it feels. With this forgetfulness often arises fear for the human fears what they do not understand. It is such that we are asking that you bypass the human emotions for Hue-man Knowing. There is a difference here – a very obvious difference. For Knowing is feeling without immersion, without becoming feeling. It is the lack of reaction to feeling. It is objectivity and understanding…the reciprocity of Self and Experience.

We will continue to come to you, to offer you our assistance and foster your growth. It is with great anticipation that we await your return.

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We are Travelers

This morning after the intense experience with my Companion, I Remembered and was told some things. Just trying to type this right now is making me shake with energy and my heart is buzzing.

First, I will go back to the message about Travelers and wolves. I knew my group is small and that we travel together always. We are all intricately connected. We sense each other. We communicate with each other. We are a “pack” and are connected as such. We do not normally physically connect while in our physical bodies while we are “traveling” but for some reason we are doing so this time around.

We are Travelers, at least that is how I remember our group. It is like we are called/sent to a specific place to do our work and then, when we are done, we leave. Together.

I don’t know if Travler is the same as Wanderer. Maybe. I have to feel that one out for a bit.

I was told that I was being “fostered” at this time. I don’t really understand it, but I guess it makes sense. We, our group, is suppose to Remember. It is part of our purpose so as to facilitate the changes occurring on Earth. I recalled briefly that we are here to help bring Earth out of the darkness, a darkness that has been in effect for a very, very long time. I chose to experience this darkness via incarnations prior to this incarnation so that I would better understand the experience of it. It is like a total cut-off feeling. Cut-off from the Wholeness. Hard to explain really, but I felt it, recognized it when I felt my Companion this morning.

Our group is small, probably only five or six members. I was not allowed to see how many exactly, but that is okay with me. The overwhelming heart sensations I am having and have been having since this contact is enough for me to know it is truth. The shaking is driving me crazy.

I was also told that my Companion is initiating the “exchange”, or has been. I really don’t know what to think of it but the experience I just had was very real and very overwhelming in so many ways that cannot be expressed.

I had asked for all this to be made “more real” because it has been so easy for me to dismiss as my imagination or a dream. I was reminded of this request this morning. Haha. Very funny.

All I can say is that now I know why I have not met any members of my group face-to-face yet. If meeting them causes the feeling I felt this morning then I know I would run all the way to Timbuktu to avoid them. It is an instant repulsion-attraction, crazy mixed up feeling! Yeah, I know, you wonder how you can have both feelings at once. Well you can. Trust me.