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Which Path Will You Take?

I have one more lesson to share with you all from this morning.

I was shown a path. It began at a river and ended at a cabin on the other side of a tall mountain range. I was shown how, when planned, the journey is practically a straight line. One wades across the river, takes a path through a dark forest and climbs the steep mountains before reaching a cozy cabin where they rest, refresh and move on to the next stage of the journey. When planned, the path from the river to the cabin is hard but since the destination is known, the planner of the path is sure the journey will take a day, no less.

This is the plan prior to life.

The planner forgets that when the path is trod upon from within a human body the destination, and all obstacles along the way, are forgotten. The cabin is suppose to be on the other side of the mountains, but the traveler is not certain of this. To them it is but a dream they are quickly forgetting.

After wading across a cold river, they are tired, wet and cold. Their feet are cut and bleeding. Their stomachs empty. When walking through the dark forest they become hungry and tired, their feet swollen and bruised. The journey seems never to end and they stop to rest their weary body before they even reach the end of the forest. The next day, they reach the base of the mountains. They look up at an unimaginable climb. Sore, tired and without reassurance to help them know how far they have come, they begin to doubt. The decision is made that there is no point in even attempting to cross the mountains for there is no way they will ever make it. And they don’t even know for sure the cabin exists. In fact, they have now convinced themselves there is no cabin there at all.

The decision is then made to turn back. But they don’t wish to once again cross the cold river, so they take a detour, trying to find their way around it, back to where they started, for at least they know where their journey began and their is no evidence of the “dream” of the cabin.

What was planned as a short, one day journey has now stretched into half a lifetime or more. The cabin was always there, but the memory of it is lost and the human condition has destroyed any chance of it ever being revived.

This is what happens to us when we incarnate on Earth in a human body. Our plan so simple and straight forward, is plagued by doubt, physical, mental and emotional discomfort, lack of faith, and no trust in our selves or in our hearts.

But the first path can be the path we travel while in this body if we let our hearts lead us and not our minds.

How many times have you turned around to avoid the mountains? How many times have you walked in circles to avoid the cold river? What discomforts have led you on a path that is not your own?

This was what I was presented with this morning. This is why we so often feel lost in life. For we are lost to our hearts and so also lost to our path.

I don’t know about you but those mountains don’t look half as bad as they did 30 years ago. And I would rather get to the cozy cabin than spend another night in a dark, cold forest. 🙂

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Happy Birthday: 2 Years Strong

WordPress tells me my blog is 2 today. 🙂 Yay!

I wanted to take this time to thank all of you for your support along the way. Thank you to my many lurkers who don’t comment – I know you are there as my stats say it is so.  🙂

I also wanted to thank all the people from across the world who come and visit my blog. The other day the United States, which always ranks #1 for viewers, was pushed from it’s #1 slot by Sweden. 🙂 Then on several days in a row by India. This was a complete shock to me as I had no idea anyone in those countries was taking much interest in what I had to say. So, since I don’t much check stats over time, I looked at last year. In one year over 115 countries visited this blog. Wow.

With birthdays comes the birthday wish. For me, all I wish is to keep writing and to have something spiritually significant and consciousness related to write about. Believe it or not, I don’t want my blog to be about what seems like a never-ending journey down a rabbit hole. I would love for it to have a conclusion. A happy conclusion. Yes, the journey itself will never end – we are infinite beings living a finite experience – but I do hope that this leg of it will conclude and a new journey, one of “wholeness”, will begin. This is my wish for 2016. Tie up loose ends. Finish what I started. Get to the “destination” and then set out on a new adventure, one where I am complete; where I am Home wherever I am.

I hope you will continue to join me and share your own experiences along the way.

 

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Taking My Mask Off

Adzekiel had more messages for me. This new level I am to go to will be preparation work; preparation for the “new” me. He explained that I will be asked to take my “mask off”. With this I received an image of my face and me slowly taking off make-up with a cotton ball. I saw no obvious signs of make-up but the message was clear.

I am familiar with seeing “masks” in my dreams and OBEs. I have seen a white cream all over my own face as well as the face of others. It looks like clown make-up when I see it and makes my face look very “off” and fake. Thankfully in this current vision the white make-up was not present. 🙂

The understanding of what this means was slow to come. I asked, “What it is I will have to do?”  He said I will need to “speak and write my truth”. No more hiding in the shadows. No more pretending I am like everyone else when I’m not. With that a scenario played out in my mind of talking with a member of our church and telling them I was preparing to walk-out and let another aspect walk-in. The expression I imagined on their face was priceless. I did not feel I could do it, though.

It is terrifying to me.

He said, “You do not have to do it all at once. It should be gradual, but it must be done.”

He explained that my personality change will be very obvious to those closest to me. They will notice. I was not told what this “personality change” would look like but the feeling sent to me made me squirm a bit with nervousness.

I was also warned that my gifts will begin to manifest more strongly. I am not sure what this means, either. I have been told this before but nothing major has come of it as of yet.

During this conversation my crown and third-eye chakra were buzzing. I could not shake the feeling I had either. This feels very, very important. Necessary. Unavoidable.

I am not sure I will be able to pretend all of this (the braid-in/walk-in situation) is not real for much longer.

 

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Adviser Adzekiel and the Requiem Room

I asked to project again but knew that a break was needed. My body needed rest as did my mind. So no projections last night.

Adviser Adzekiel 

I was awakened several times last night from children. Each time I had that lovely drowsy feeling that lulls one back into sleep. However, I also have knowing that I had been busy in my sleep and tried to retrieve my dreams as proof. This is when one of my guides interrupted, telling me, “Remember not your dreams but what is behind them.”

During one of my early morning wakings, after just having dream in which I had been at a university receiving my test results, I awoke and once again attempted to retrieve my dreams. I felt the presence of my guide and as soon as I would attempt a retrieval the dream would vanish and the feeling with it. It was very odd but not an unfamiliar experience.

This guide remained ever present and quite big, though not intrusive. His energy was very gentle and not at all dominant. It was as if he were a passive observer but I know better than that. At one point I asked him who he was and he gave me the name, “Adzekiel”. I was not familiar with the name and asked it to be repeated because I didn’t think the “d” should be there. However, that is the name and it was confirmed.

He showed me who he was visually and I was surprised to see a long flowing, white robe. Around his neck he wore a golden sash. I was immediately reminded of an OBE where I met up with several individuals who appeared similar. I could not make out his face but I saw dark hair. I asked where his black robe was because I remembered black. He said, “I can wear black if you like, but I usually wear white.” I got the feeling this is because of his role. I asked if he always appeared male. He said, “We can appear however we choose.” I asked him why he chose male. He answered, “Because you prefer it.” I then asked, “What do you prefer to look like?” Then I saw his image change and his hair became long and blonde and he was very obviously female. I questioned this and he said, “We [all of us] are both male and female.” I knew this already but still it was nice to hear.

I asked what his role is. “Are you on my Council?” He said, “I am part of your ‘Team’ – as you call it.” Trying to figure out exactly what he did and why he was wearing a different color, I asked more questions. In the end it was determined that he was more of an adviser to me than my guides in black. Those in black are involved in my life plan on a daily basis while he is called in at certain times when advisement is needed. He also stated he was an adviser to many others, others not just of my group. He told me, “You will find my name is used by others [channels].” I got the feeling he was a member of the Council, but he avoided this term and used another, which I cannot recall now.

Requiem Room

In my dream I had been in a library-like setting. It had wood walls with tall bookshelves and comfortable seating. I was with a small group of individuals and we were discussing our test results and our classes. The environment and discussion reminded me very much of a university. I had successfully passed my final test for “History” and was progressing to the next class. There was a feeling of relief on my part – like I no longer had to worry about some past pattern repeating. A male student who was part of my group did not receive such great news. I saw his test returned to him with marks indicating areas that needed improvement. I felt very sorry for him and knew he would remain in his class for a while longer.

I asked where we had been and was told it was of no consequence. However, I heard the word, “Requiem” pop into my head straight away and knew we had been in the Requiem Room. I could not understand why the term requiem was being used to describe the room. In my mind it was a piece of music. However, I found that it’s Latin origins indicate that it means “Rest”. This makes perfect sense and is so much better than being told we were in the “Rest Room”. lol 😉

New Level

Adzekiel announced to me that I was moving to “the next level”, whatever that means. As you know, I have heard this before. I move to another level often it seems. The “briefing” I received after this announcement came in the form of me “feeling” the information and interpreting that feeling with my mind.

My dream was first to be “felt” out. I was again instructed to not focus on the dream but to Remember what was behind the dream. It was easier than I realized and I knew what my “Test” was and why I passed it. Apparently, the feelings and urges I had pertaining to finances and needing a job were part of this test. I had an overwhelming knowingness that these feelings were old patterns being released, some mine and some the “groups” (world’s). Also, my actions were being observed. Would I resist and ignore my “instructions”? Or would I give into them? I did resist, somewhat, but ultimately I was open to finding work and did search many times for it. However, none ever felt right. So this was the test that I passed.

With this understanding I felt something had shifted and I no longer needed to find work. My husband would have advances in his work (he has been very unhappy) and my focus could remain on my spiritual journey. Yay!! Writing is the focus and I have been asked if I would be open to writing a book. I am, since I have already written one, but no further instructions have been given. There was a nudge from Adzekiel at this time to proceed with creating a new blog outlining my walk-in experiences. I felt this nudge strongly and was told this would be “foundation work”. He told me, “There will be many walk-ins”. I have little time – less than 7 months – for the plan is for great change is to happen around my 40th birthday and they pertain to the walk-in. Woah.

I knew the male class member in my dream had not been completely successful. I felt he was close to me but not “family” and learned quickly that my classmates and I were not part of the same soul family. There were two men and three woman, including me, in our small class. Classes are organized and dispersed often and members are picked based upon the similarity of need. My soul family may or may not be included depending on their need/level. Interesting!

 

 

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The Rest of It

Now that I have time, I will post the rest (that I can remember).

I was wide awake and it was 4:30am. By this time I had been speaking with the Beings for a good hour and there was so much energy coursing through me that I began to think I would not fall to sleep. Then it dawned on me to ask, so I did. “Please help me go back to sleep.” Within minutes I was hit with the heaviness that signaled sleep and not long after entered into semi-lucid and lucid dream states.

Dream: Letter from Lisa

Most of this dream is lost to me now. In it I was presented with a letter. It was typed and had many, many paragraphs. It was signed simply, “Lisa.”

I recall hearing a woman reading me the letter. It was a letter about adjusting to life in a physical body. It was very detailed to include incubation and assimilation. I remember not liking those terms. Apparently I am “assimilating”.

The letter was about this woman’s personal experience assimilating to the human physical body. She had been in it for 15 years and was still struggling to adapt and make adjustments. The information in the letter was very scientific in some ways, almost like a report. I remember thinking that she was much older than 15 years old and recognizing she was a walk-in.

I became lucid toward the end and that is when I saw the signature at the bottom – Lisa. I wondered if I knew her.

Lucid Dream: Conversation with Barbara

In this dream I had an in-depth conversation with a woman named Barbara. I called her by her name several times and I remember her to be older than me, maybe in her 50s. I also remember auburn hair but I cannot recall her face.

We were conversing about raising children, specifically about routine. She asked me, “You don’t put them to bed when they aren’t tired do you?” I responded, “Yeah I do. When they are asleep is one of the only times I get to be alone!” She implied that routine was not good. This is the opposite of what I was taught. Children thrive on routine. It acts as a stabilizing influence and helps them feel safe. Yet this woman was adamant that routine was against our true nature and was part of the reason we get stuck in a rut (routine). I remember quoting different psychologists and discussing behaviorism, social psychology, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) and many other related topics. We did not argue, we had a very good conversation and I awoke from it still hearing her voice and feeling an affinity for this woman, Barbara. Now I wonder now if maybe she was on to something. I don’t know how many times I have cursed myself for getting too comfortable with my routines. They have a tendency to box a person in.

The In-Between

Between dreams I was in the in-between. For those of you not familiar with what this space is, I was told it is a place where “past, present and future exist at the same time”. In other words, it is between time. However, what it feels like to me is being in a very deeply relaxed state where my mind is receptive to communication with my guides, Spirit, and apparently ETs. I am usually aware of being both in my body and above it at the same time. It is often devoid of color, like a blank slate, but communication comes both in words and vivid visions that play behind my eyelids like real-time movies. Sometimes I get pulled into these visions and my perceptions turn on as if I am awake and from here I can easily go OOB. Other times I remain an observer.

Simply put, the in-between is accessed via the trance state. I don’t know how many of you can go there, but for me it is my Home away from Home and I go there every day/night. Sometimes I am “called” there and am instantly there.

When I was in-between with the three Beings they were just out of my line of sight as if they did not want me to see them. Instead I could only feel and sense them. I knew they were E.T.s by their energy and flashes of the little gray men from movies and pictures kept coming to mind. I don’t know how I feel about that, really.

Their communication with me was both in words and visions. However, I was told several times by them, “Your vocabulary is insufficient for our purposes.” LOL

You may wonder why I don’t just get up and channel when these kinds of experience happen to me. Believe me, I wanted to, but I have found that if I get up, the movement of my physical body breaks the trance state and then disrupts the flow of information. Once that flow is disrupted I never know if I will be able to resume the communication at the same level. So I am stuck having to decide: 1. Stay and get tons of information but risk losing half of it because my brain won’t be able to retain it all. or 2. Get up and write down everything I can remember up to that point and risk not receiving anymore information. Sometimes I am lucky and the information keeps coming because I am wide open. I can tell when these times are and last night was not one of those times. So I chose to stay in the in-between and thus forgot half of what I was told. I’m sorry. I will try to do better next time.

Other Messages Tidbits

I was not alone on the craft I visited. I can’t remember who was with me – sorry. However, I did wonder where all the men were. It seemed to be oddly female dominated. I was told there are more females than men who are going through this “process”. This was done purposefully because of the receptivity of the female body/brain/organism. Not that we are “superior” necessarily but that it offers a better probability for success. I don’t understand everything they told me but my understanding is that men are prone to ignore or completely miss the messages that come through. Interesting. So hey, if you are a man and on this journey – congrats! You have beat the odds!! 😉

I am told I am receiving adjustments on board a craft of some kind two to three times a week. Talk about shock to me! Then I remembered a dream I had the night before last which I assumed was not worth mentioning on my blog. I will just say there were triplets in it. No coincidence.

Finally, I had high knowingness that I was going to begin to Remember more….again. So will my soul family. And we will continue to Remember each other. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I am still processing the last round of Remembering and trust me it was quite an eye-opener. I will never be the same. If one round of major Remembering can do that, what will the next one do? I shudder to think but apparently I passed the point of no return a long, long time ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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We are Yeshua

When I awoke from the OBE the three Beings were to my left. I saw them each as light but I knew immediately that they were E.T.s and that my OBE had been with them. They were the “midget men” who I knew were also the Prophet. I asked them, “Who are you?” They responded as one, “We are Yeshua.”

So much commenced after this that I am not sure where to start and I will most likely forget to include everything. So forgive me in advance. I will do my best as I know this is important for more than just me.

These Beings are very ancient and they communicated as such. They have been the caretakers of Earth from the beginning. They are not those who participated in the seeding of Earth, though. They made this very clear. They are of the group who have been called The Many, The Elohim, Melchizedek and other names I cannot think of at the moment. I asked why they always give me Biblical names and was told, “They are Our names.”

They told me they traveled from a different time but also showed me what this looked like. It was literally like they stepped into this time but it would be like they traveled a very, very long time to get here. I suspect what I was shown was them coming from their dimension to ours, but it literally looked like they just crossed over some kind of barrier, like a line in space. It was a dark line. They were on one side and we were on the other.

I asked what they were doing and was told, “You can reproduce better now.” I thought back, “Reproduce? I don’t want to reproduce. I’m fixed.” But then I realized this was their way of saying “sex” and understood that they view sex for what it is – reproduction. It is nothing but that. Curious.

We discussed how my previous lucid dream was my conscious mind’s way of interpreting the events prior to the OBE. I was on board a craft somewhere and was witnessing someone else have some kind of procedure done. I was told that I have a disgust for “reproduction” and that I needed to remove it for it was not accurate and something I picked up from the incarnation cycle. I recognized this disgust right away. My dream was just a reflection of it.

When I met the woman in my dream who was preparing to connect her laptop, I was told that I would be meeting with these Beings. For some reason it scared me and I started to cry. They explained that my human reaction is fear first – thus my reaction. They said they will help me find acceptance and understanding. For now the scenes I recall will be comfortable and at an acceptable level. Eventually they will be less and less so, but only to the extent that I can handle it.

I recall that the light I was looking at was the light used in whatever procedure they were doing. I recall seeing six 1 inch cubed crystals, similar to a dream I recently had. I didn’t see it in the OBE but recalled it almost immediately after I woke. These crystals were used on me but I am not sure what for.

This procedure is not the upgrade that is coming. It was a preparation for it. When I was told this my heart chakra began to light up and I was enveloped in an energy hug that fully surrounded my entire mid-section. I felt that there would be more heart chakra energy with the next upgrade. I melted into it for a bit, enjoying it.

The maps and diagrams I saw were almost forgotten but it was like they reminded me of them because the memory just appeared in my head. I tried and tried to remember the information but it was not forthcoming. I knew I was not meant to know. The information was about the agenda of Team Dark and the harvesting of humans. There is a purposeful increase in population beyond the ability of the Earth to support. It is disturbing but I am not sure why.

I asked why they were visiting me. They said to me, “You are special. You were chosen out of a group of volunteers”. I have been hearing that I am “special” ever since my first communications with my guide. I hate hearing it. So I said to them, “But there are a lot of us.” They responded, “Not as many as you might think.” They then said I was given “gifts”. This I understood to be my spiritual abilities but I did not ask. They explained that I needed to be “clear”. I believe this was what they had been doing in my OBE. I have specific judgments towards sex and intimacy that need to be sorted.

We also talked about the exchange that was soon to take place. It will occur after I am “cleared” (not really sure what that means). The exchange involves another aspect taking over and the current me going into stasis. I asked where I would go and was shown what appeared to be a pod made out of a fabric-like material with a zipper that went all the way around. I saw inside of it a woman – me – asleep and holding an infant. I understood that for me what happens while the other aspect is in control will appear like a very vivid dream. Interesting. I was told also that as they begin to allow me to retain memories of my interactions with them that they will surround me in a “calm” unlike anything I have ever experienced. I got a visual of being surrounded in what looked like a silken cocoon of energy. I am open that that. 🙂

There is more but this is getting too long and I have to get on with my day. I will write more later.

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OBE: Good Vibrations

Since I was told I would soon be experiencing another upgrade soon, I asked if I could astral project. I got the go-ahead and so requested again prior to sleep.

Lucid Dream: Uncomfortable Sexual Situation

I found myself inside a dorm room with several other young people. For some reason we were all in one bed together. A young woman with brown hair was entertaining two boys. She was very sexually promiscuous and proceeded to have sex with one boy while the other watched. I was in bed with them with my back turned trying to ignore it all and thinking, “Is she really? Are they really?” This brought me into semi-lucidity.

I finally had enough when I felt something wet on my leg. Disgusted I got out and retreated to the bathroom where I found a bed inside one of the stalls. I tried to lay down and rest there but felt I needed to return to the dorm room.

When I came back out I was inside a large common area and people were everywhere with bags and boxes in their hands. Moving. I saw a young woman who was getting cords and wires together to set up her laptop. She inquired if I was ready. When I saw her I got a very uncomfortable feeling and began to cry. I said, “No, I don’t want to!” With my upset I felt my lucidity increase and the scene shifted.

OBE: Good Vibrations

Then I was drifting in the in-between receiving information about the future plans of Earth. At the time it was like a huge screen was in front of me and it had all sorts of data and graphs on it. The main parts I recall are the maps of various places on Earth. They had horizontal lines of different colors over the top of them. Each line had words inside with a set goal. It was very political but I can’t remember anything that was written and it really bothers me because I know it is important!

Then I was looking at a demographic map of the U.S. The areas where the population was low were marked as areas that needed attention. The goal was to move people to these places. This I didn’t understand but I didn’t question. These desolate areas were important but I am not sure how. I specifically recall thinking these areas would include the states of North and South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Idaho and parts of Utah. I did not consider any Midwestern states which surprises me.

Then I was hearing a discussion about travelers who were to visit these low population areas. I heard about a prophet who was very ancient and often traveled to these places to visit certain people.

Then I was observing a field. It reminded me of the fields in Montana – sage brush and grass everywhere. In front of me were three identical midgets. They had brown hair and short beards. I knew they were the Prophet I had just heard about. They had traveled a very long way to be here and I knew they were important so I was very curious about them.

They spoke to a man who was standing in the field. I never actually saw him, though, just felt he was there. When these little men spoke they spoke as if they were one person. One would start talking and the next would pick up in the middle of the sentence and then the third would pick up where the other left off. It continued like this. Not one of them ever finished a sentence without the others. I don’t remember what they said, though.

This is when I entered the scene with full lucidity. I was OOB before but not actually in any specific space. At this point it was like I was shifted into the scene.

The midgets vanished. The unseen man vanished. I was laying horizontally on a hard surface. I could see the sagebrush field in my peripheral vision. My attention was completely focused on the night sky above me. There were millions of stars and my vision was so completely clear that I was in awe while also a bit confused as to what was going on.

I felt the three men around me then but they were not men any longer. I could not see them but I felt them. One stood at my feet and one was on my left and the other on my right at around my stomach area.

I felt a pressure in my root chakra and then an intense vibration. It shot up through the root chakra along my spine and spread out. These vibrations were not like any I have ever experienced while OOB or receiving K energy. It literally felt like someone had put one of those vibrating massagers inside me or a very, very, very long dildo. lol

Startled, my first thought was that these Beings were trying to sexually stimulate me. I tensed up, anticipating that my body would respond. However, I felt absolutely no sexual response from my body at all. I also felt that I needed to not focus on my physical body and to just allow the vibrations to continue.

That is when I felt (was told?) to focus on “the light”. Prior to this I had not seen any light, yet there, high in the night sky, was a very large, almost moon-sized, perfectly white light. It was just off to the right and I focused on it as instructed. What is weird is that I perceived there was another light shining behind me and my conscious mind imagined it to be a street light. It also felt like the light behind me and the light in the sky were one and the same.

The vibrations continued for some time. I felt them from my root chakra through my 2nd chakra and there was a rod-shaped central area they seemed to emanate from. The vibrations spread all the way through my hips and lower abdomen and even down my thighs some. I knew that when the light in the sky disappeared that the vibrations would stop.

The light disappeared and the vibrations stopped.

Then it was over as suddenly as it started and I was on my hands and knees staring out across a sagebrush field. It was dark outside and the stars shown so brightly and were so absolutely clear that I was once again in awe. It reminded me of a night long ago when I slept under the stars in the mountains of Montana – so intensely beautiful.

I looked around and said aloud to my guides, “What do I do now?”

I woke up almost immediately afterward.  The Beings were still with me. I will write about what happened next in the next post.

 

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Upgrade Approaching

It’s been an odd day.

First, something felt off this morning and it lasted until about noon. I had a feeling in my gut that was not going away. Since I had the urge to look for a job, I searched online and it only made the feeling in my gut turn into an anxiety in my heart chakra. When I finally stopped the job search all off feelings vanished as if they were never there to begin with.

Later, during my youngest’s nap, I took some time alone outside and just stared up at the cloudless sky. I had been having trouble thinking all day and so I had no thoughts. My mind was just blank. That’s when one of my guides announced to me, “There will be an upgrade soon. We have been preparing you. It will be intense.” Funny enough, I didn’t bat an eye. I am so use to these kinds of announcements that I just wanted to know when. The answer was predictable: “Soon.” My feeling was that it was likely to hit me in the middle of the night. I said, “I can’t handle anymore crazy emotional up’s and down’s.” His response to that was, “You need to be clear.” Okay. So that likely means I need to have some tissue on hand. Or maybe it will be one of those intense crown chakra blasts this time? Who knows. I will just wait and see.

After that, I went to get the mail with my daughter. A neighbor was there getting hers as well and I instantly recognized her. She had lost her husband right before Christmas and talked to me in-depth one day about her struggle to make it through the holidays. I almost asked her how she was but hesitated because my daughter was there with me and I knew the woman’s deceased husband was right there and wanting to pass on a message. He followed me home telling me how he wanted to tell his wife he was with their cat and giving me the name “Grace”. I felt bad but at the same time I had no idea how I would have approached the subject with my neighbor.

As I prepared my bath just a while ago I asked about the coming upgrade. Was everyone going to experience this? I was told that the upgrades will not hit everyone at the same time nor in the same way. I was shown that I am cycling through them. Each one will clear something new, taking off more and more layers. It will cycle through pretty fast I am told, much faster than I have previously experienced (meaning weeks pass rather than months I guess?).

I must say that I’m not looking forward to this. Based upon my most recent emotional outpouring followed by awful intestinal flu, I am not sure I can take much more. Oh wait, that was the “preparation”…. Hmmm Well, at least they told me the upgrade is coming and it will be “intense”. I am trying to remember what happened the last time they used the word intense. I can’t remember. Not surprised being my brain is not working.

 

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Allowing the Exchange

Something shifted for me yesterday and is still in process. It is subtle. Had I not taken the time to meditate and tune in, I likely would not have noticed it at all.

Most of the day yesterday I felt “off”. There was a feeling I couldn’t quite figure out and my mind was not up to par. I keep forgetting things. Small things mostly, but then I forgot my daughter had early out and so missed picking her up at the bus stop! This is so not like me. I am usually on top of everything but my mind is just not cooperating. Really, this mental fog has been going on for some time but now I seem to not care if I forget. I figure if it is important enough I will remember. Otherwise, it must be inconsequential. And really, missing the bus was no big deal. I just jumped in the car and picked her up at school and then all three kids got to play at the school playground. It all works out in the end. Why bother worrying?

Allowing the Exchange

Around 3pm I took a few moments to lay down and tune in. My heart chakra instantly began to pull all the way through to my back. Momentarily I was pleased but then when I got up the heart intensity ceased. However, as soon as I tuned in it would reappear.

When I did my evening meditation my heart lit up again but only slightly. My mind has been somewhat in overdrive from focusing on 3D stuff so it took extra effort on my part to shut it down. As soon as I did one of my guides asked, “What can we do to help you?” This threw me completely. I don’t think I have ever been asked that question. I had no idea how to answer!

Then I was asked, “What do you feel?” Instead of focusing on my emotions like I normally do, for some reason I began to focus on the sensations in my body. I noticed immediately a strange sensation within my brain. It is hard to describe but it felt like I was not alone in there – like someone else was present. There was a strange pressure from within that I had not notice before.

Again I don’t know why but I knew this other presence was part of me, had been part of me, for some time. I will use the word braid in since I have no other way to describe the relationship I have with this other aspect. She/he’s been with me for some time but the upgrades and adjustments to my brain have only recently progressed enough to allow a further integration. This is the only way I know the describe it. I feel completely loonie just considering it, but then again I don’t.

I felt an urge to withdraw and allow this other aspect to come forward. It is hard to describe how I did this but I was able to. That was when it got strange. I became a witness to this other me conversing with my guide. The other me answered the question I had just been asked – “What can we do for you?” He (but really there is no gender associated) said something about making adjustments to this life slowly so as to not cause panic. I was referred to as something else but I can’t recall the term used to describe me. It was something like controlling entity or something like that.

There was so much more conveyed without words. It was like a knowingness from this other aspect seeped into my consciousness. As it did I became completely compliant and relieved.  I was thinking, “Finally something is happening!” I wanted desperately for it to happen all at once. “It” being the exchange. My guide reminded me it must occur gradually and I asked him if he had ever done it before and he said, “No, but I have witnessed many.”

Memories

I had memories resurface from my life. All at once. It was like a floodgate opened but they came in one at a time. I remembered a time probably around 2000 when I was living in Alaska. I had prayed and prayed for God to take away my fear. I was terrified to make a move I knew I needed to make. In fact, I remember I seemed to be afraid of everything. I realized that now I am rarely afraid. I still have fear, but compared to back then I appear almost fearless. Wow.

I remembered that prior to that I had been writing a novel. It is long gone now probably as I left it when I left my ex-husband. However, the book was almost halfway complete. It was about a woman who had paranormal experiences. She was married with children and had just moved into her new home. Then Spirit began to visit her – first in her dreams then in her waking life. She also had encounters with E.T.s. The last chapter I wrote about was her being “called” into the mountains where she was met by a very large UFO. I wrote this in 1998-99 five years before my awakening. I still remember the book as vivid pictures in my mind. It was so very real to me at the time. Looking back on it now I wonder if I had been perceiving something of my own future and just didn’t realize that is what it was.

After allowing my braided-in aspect to come forward and the memory floodgates opened I continued to feel strange. I fell asleep and awoke at 4am feeling an intense need to get a job. I am really, really not liking the idea but this feeling is so intensely strong that I don’t know if I can resist it.

 

 

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Birth and Death

I had a multiple choice question presented to me this morning. It just appeared in my mind as clear as day while I cuddled with my youngest after being awakened way too early.

The question appeared like this:

Which is the most difficult?

A. Birth

B. Marriage

C. Children

D. Death

My answer woke me up. I responded instantaneously: Birth. Hahahaha

I am not 100% sure that the middle two options are accurate. I have no doubt about options A and D.

I honestly think we never really get over being born, at least I never really did. I am still adjusting. My mom likes to tell the story of my birth because I was her most difficult delivery. Why? I was born breech and back then they didn’t just automatically give a c-section. They had my mom deliver me and it was no easy task. Apparently my butt came out first. LOL I like to say in response to my mom’s story, “I changed my mind and tried to crawl back in.”

Unlike most people, I have memory of my birth. The main memory of it is the pain of being squished. I got a horrible charlie horse. My left foot cramped up when I re-experienced my birth and did not settle down until I had gone over it several times. I remember the bright lights hurting my eyes. Then the cold and the warmth as they wrapped me in a blanket. Then the most beautiful sky blue eyes and an instant calm. I was later told my grandmother was the first to hold me. Her eyes were the color of the sky.

Though physical birth is difficult, it is far from the end.

I look forward to death. Just saying. I think of all of the options, death is the easiest. We get to go Home. We get to rest and celebrate our life accomplishments. Every time someone in my life dies I am jealous. I don’t grieve their passing like everyone else. I celebrate their homecoming. They are the lucky ones. I hope that when I leave this body and return Home my family and friends will celebrate with me rather than grieve for me.