Ylang Ylang: Oil of the Heart

Two nights ago I had a dream that I forgot about until last night. In the dream I was frantically dabbing essential oils of all kinds all over myself. I was handed an essential oil by someone to use. I was encouraged to use it generously. I read the name of the oil several times, repeating it to myself with the intention of remembering it.

The oil I was given was Ylang Ylang. I do not own this essential oil and am not very familiar with it, but my research indicates it is the best essential oil for healing the heart and getting back in touch with one’s inner child. It helps to release bottled up and buried emotions smoothly while nurturing the heart. It also reminds one that joy can be recovered by allowing the heart to feel all emotion fully.

Talk about the perfect message and oil for me right now!

Since I do not own this oil, I searched my oil blends to see if any contained this oil. I found that my most favorite oil blend – Serenity – contains Ylang Ylang. It is said that we are drawn to oils that we most need. This is definitely true for me as I have used more Serenity oil than any other oil I own. lol

Here is the DoTERRA information page for Ylang Ylang for those of you who are interested.

 

Dream: On Restriction

I traveled with a group of people to a large warehouse. The understanding here was that this was a place to stop and rest and was located on the way to my final destination. It felt as if I had been to this place many times on my way to “work”.

A man met me at the door and asked me for my car keys. I handed them to him and he let me inside. I understood that my car would be taken and parked somewhere. I was to stay the night in this place.

I was shown my cot and I laid down for the night. Unfortunately, I could not sleep. There were tons of people around me and most of them were awake and socializing. Their energy was high compared to mine and it make it impossible for me to sleep. I remember noticing that many of the people were in pairs or small groups yet I was all alone.

At one point, as it was approaching 10pm, I got restless because I could not sleep and people were still awake and socializing. I also got a little paranoid, feeling like this place was not where I was suppose to be. I got up and began to look for an exit but a woman saw me and questioned me. I told her, “I can’t sleep. I want to go back to my house and sleep there”. She said, “Okay. Let me get your keys”.

It took a while for her to return so I went to seek her out. I saw her standing at a back door and at her feet were two piles of dog crap. I warned her not to step in them and she turned and said, “You can’t come out here”. I withdrew.

The woman then brought me my keys but they were disconnected from the remote that unlocked and locked the car. She said she could not reconnect them – they were broken. I accepted this and left on foot.

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I was met by my Companion and three other guides. I was told that I was on restriction for an indeterminable amount of time. I am to rest and recuperate. I asked why and sensed a high amount of concern from my Team. I accepted this and understood.

I was told, “You are hurting. You are very, very sad.” I was then shown there has been a significant decrease in my Light. I was told they had not anticipated this intense of a reaction from me and were giving me time to heal before moving forward. I tried to make light of it but this time my Companion was the somber one. Not encouraging.

Apparently, I have not been allowing love into my heart. Recent events have further inhibited the flow. Like the keys in my dream, I am detached from entry into my heart. I am broken.

I asked, “What I am suppose to do now?” and was instructed to focus on my life. Immediately my thoughts turned to plans on how to resolve certain issues in my life.

Although I may be “broken” and disconnected from my heart, my heart is still pulling with an intense energy. It is interesting because the feeling from it is almost like someone swabbed the inside of my heart with menthol. There is a cold fire there. Other times it just hurts. I am getting use to it, though, as nothing I do seems to resolve it.

I could not return to sleep and tried to meditate. Not long after I saw and heard the number 1456. I assumed it was a year but got no more information. So I looked it up and found that it could indicate a change of residence or travel. Coincidentally (or not) my husband called me this morning on his way to work telling me he had an urge to take a trip east. I said I had also thought of doing this. He wants us to go on a road trip together. I am hoping he will agree to go to Florida.

 

Dream: Piranha Pond

A man took me and a group of people to a remote pond location. I could see the pond in front of us. It looked like a normal pond, like something you would see in a national park or some country area here in Texas. The water was dark and a bit murky making me wonder what was underneath.

Our guide stopped us just short of the pond and pointed to an animal standing on the far bank of the pond. It was a black lamb and we were told it was there as a sacrifice to offer to the piranhas that lived in the pond. Because the lamb would die soon he asked us if we wanted to bury it and put a cross on it’s grave. I saw the cross vividly in my mind and thought about whether we should bury the lamb. I said, “No. It’s just an animal. I don’t care what you do with it’s body”.

He then explained that after letting the piranhas eat the lamb they would be alerted to us being there so we needed to be careful. He then asked for volunteers and I understood that we were each to go into the water and then come back out. I raised my hand thinking I should just get it over with.

At this time I saw my sister was there and she had wandered off with a friend of mine. They were far away laughing and playing around and I remember being concerned at first and then not caring. It was her loss. There was a conscious recognition that in the past had this happened I would have been distraught over my sister taking my friend and not participating in what I was doing. It was nice to know I no longer carried that burden.

I walked into the murky water with the guide. Standing there, I saw a black cow in the water and noticed the piranhas were ignoring it. This made me feel better plus they were not bothering me, either. I then exited the water with my guide.

Interpretation

This dream if full of symbolism and insight. The piranha is representative of something eating away at my subconscious that needs to be addressed. The murky water represents the emotions surrounding this issue. The lamb represents something innocent and pure but since it is black it could indicate there is mourning or intense hurt related to this issue. It could also indicate a need to delve deeper into the subconscious. The sacrifice and acceptance of it indicates that I am willing to give up something for spiritual advancement. The black cow represents maternal instincts and in this case they are being protected.

Intervention

It has been a challenge navigating the last four or five days – well nearly the last month really. I have never in my life experienced such up’s and down’s and emotional intensity. This intensity started mid-December and does not seem to be letting up. It is almost painful for me to have such intensity of emotion. It makes me wonder if I have been navigating through this lifetime with an almost fully closed heart. Why else would I have not felt this before? How can I have been so emotionally closed off for so long? And what am I to do with this new openness? It is blissfully fantastic in one extreme and excruciatingly painful in another.

Honestly, I am struggling to deal with this new openness, especially the painful part. There has been an overflowing of emotion that should not be there, that feels alien or to belong to someone else. It is just there out of nowhere as if it were there all along. What a crazy, amazing thing to experience. There are no words!

With it comes a past life memory that just appeared. I don’t know when it was or really where it was, but it is vivid in all ways and the emotion linked to it is beyond intense. I can’t escape it so I just live it. Daily. The memory is still unfolding. When it does I will share it with you all.

Intervention

Everyone has their breaking point. I swear I’ve reached mine. I am so done with it all. I have been demanding to be let out of whatever contract(s) I signed. I have been angry and upset for four days straight now. I will go from a numb, almost calm sort of zombie-ness to an overflowing of emotion that stops me in my tracks. The up’s and down’s have to stop. NOW. I can’t live like this.

I recognized the gathering of my Team around me a couple of days ago. There has been healing in the night and very few dreams. The intensity of concern I feel from them makes me angry and sad and concerned. It makes my heart pull with a painful, stabbing intensity as well.

I was finally mentally able to focus on my guidance last night. One of my assistants was there who was energetically familiar to me. He gave me the name “Ken” and has been asking me questions and helping me process whatever it going on with me. My resistance to staying in my heart space was the first thing to be addressed. Oh crap is all I can say. It hurts there like nothing else and there is still an intense magnetic pull that is indescribable. I hate it and I love it at the same time. What confusion!

I was told to shut off my mind and just feel, so I did, and the intensity of the heart stabbing seemed to shoot right through my back at an angle that started at the High Heart and went into my solar plexus. There was no emotion, just a physical ache. I calmed substantially and fell asleep.

There are Choices, not Options

I startled awake at 3:30am from a vivid vision of the word, “Starseed”typed in boldface. I had a moment of confusion because I had just been dreaming about being at my mom’s house where a major ice and snow storm had shut everything down. It had gotten so cold that her chickens and even wild animals were freezing to death. When I woke an entire memory of intense discussions were seemingly placed in my mind as were vivid images of something not at all related to the cold dream I had just been in.

The vision that is most memorable was of the Earth’s sky changing from vivid blue to an ominous pale yellow color. The sky seemed to break apart, blasting outward and upward, and in broad daylight one could see the entire night sky. As I watched, thousands upon thousands of golden hued energy-people (souls?) began to ascend into the sky and blend with the yellow hues until they disappeared into the stars.

With this I remembered what occurred prior to this “rapture”. I had been discussing my Starseed origins with a small group of individuals. It was a serious talk, and one in which there was much upset, more on my part than theirs. In this discussion was my role as mother to my children, which I discussed in a previous post. There was also a discussion of all that has transpired up to this point in my life, though I cannot remember the specifics of it. I clearly recall being told, “There are choices, not options”. I saw that I could choose to shut off what has been happening with me. I could stop it. Permanently. But then I could not resume again. I would no longer see. I would no longer hear the call. It was clearly explained to me that this was not like last time when I shut down. This time it would be permanent. I would be left behind.

Of course, when I awoke I questioned all this. Hadn’t I already chosen to stay behind? Why then would it matter if I was left? In this I felt a sadness, a finality. Being left in this way was not the same. It was as if I would become deaf and blind to everything.

It was then explained to me that I had been given the opportunity to choose between Self and the Whole. I was told now is not the time to make decisions based upon selfish desires. I felt very much like I was being reprimanded here. This is why there are no “options” then? I choose to participate or I choose not to participate. That is it. There are no alternate routes.

I was reminded again of the egg within an egg dream I had not long ago. I saw the egg within as the Starseed, the innermost workings of me; the part of me connected to something more, something much bigger than myself. I could choose to let it lie dormant or allow it to hatch.

I was also reminded of a dream  I had in December, 2014. Something clicked and I just laughed at all the synchronicities involved.

Of the two choices I was given I must choose to participate. I am told it will only get more intense. I can’t say I am excited but it is better than being deaf and blind.

 

 

 

Nurturing the Starchild

My daughter asked me some questions last night about a dream she had. She began the conversation by asking, “Mommy, how many planets are there? Are there more than what we are taught about in school?”

“Yes, honey, there are many more,” I told her.

“How many?” she asked.

“Millions upon millions, maybe more,” I replied.

“Wow. Do we know about them? What are they like?”

“We don’t know because we can’t see them. They are very, very, very far away. So far away that we cannot get to them even remotely.”

She had a look of awe on her face and then got a very serious look and said, “I had a dream this morning. You were a teacher and I was in your class. Mommy, you were my teacher!”

“Really? How funny,” I said. I listened and she went on.

“We were looking at planets and there were so many but I was so happy that I was in your class.”

Questions About the Stars

My middle son has also been asking me questions. The other night he came outside to sit under the stars with me. He looked up and said, “Wow! It is so pretty! What is that star, mommy? Is that the sun?”

He was pointing to Betelgeuse and I told him, “No, that’s not the sun. That is Betelgeuse.”

“Oh. Where is the sun?”

“The sun is asleep on the other side of the Earth where it is day still.”

He took a while to process this, getting confused between the sun, the Earth and the stars and thinking the sun was each of the stars in the sky. He eventually began to understand and asked,”What are stars?”

“Stars are planets like Earth and some are other suns.”

“Oh, so that’s a planet and that’s a planet and that’s a planet (pointing to different stars)? What are their names?” He had so many questions.

I told him, “I don’t know all their names. I just like to look at them. Aren’t they pretty?”

He then sat with me for a while just looking up at the sky. It was cold so we snuggled in a blanket together.

Nurturing the Starchild

I recall discussing my children during dreamtime last night. I was shown my role in their awakening process. I am their “teacher”and a “living guide” in this lifetime. They are not my children by mistake. They chose me and my husband for a reason. Though my husband and I are very different in our beliefs and experiences thus far, we compliment each other and for a newly awakening Starchild this foundation would be completely necessary to successfully traverse the changes occurring now and in the future. We are both their teachers in this lifetime.

Upon waking all I could think about was the dream my daughter told me about and how similar it is to many of my own these days as I am relearning who I am.

The children of today, no matter their age, are going through the same process we are. In some ways this is easier because the younger they are, the less rigid belief systems, habits and conditioning they have acquired. But it can also be harder for them because they must rely on their parents and loved ones to guide them through the process. If they happen to have a non-awakened parent, then they can end up on a very lonely and difficult path.

I was reminded of my role as nurturer. Though it is highly demanding, exhausting, challenging, and mentally unrewarding, there is a purpose behind it and I am not to forget it. My children are already showing signs of being highly aware little Lights and my role is to encourage them to shine and help them gain the ability to keep their light shining on their own. What a seemingly impossible task especially when I am just learning how to do that for myself!

 

Stuck with You

Huey Lewis and the News – Stuck with You (1986)

I don’t know about you all, but the energies lately have thrown me into a tailspin. I read a recent astrological report which indicated the the 9th was an especially emotionally turbulent day. No kidding! Yesterday was no less tumultuous to me but I was too busy dealing with life issues to much notice my melancholy.

Mercury has been retrograde not even a week and I am already having technical difficulties. Usually it’s my husband who has the issues. Over the last two retrogrades his phone has given him issue. Well, it’s my turn now I guess! My phone works in all ways except to send and receive calls. It will sporadically send and receive (all day yesterday it did) but it is really annoying!

Then yesterday our hot water heater decided to overflow all over the garage and my husband had to spend most of the day replacing it. Thankfully he is a journeyman plumber so knows what he is doing but the water heater cost $500. Yuck!

On top of all this, we had planned my middle son’s 5th birthday party for that evening. So I spent all day preparing. Then a neighbor dropped his kid off and my husband agreed I would watch this little boy without telling me about it. What a mess! Imagine trying to clean house and prepare for a party with four kids age 7 and under running around – impossible!

Throughout the entire day I felt the pressure building inside me and I blew up on my husband around 3pm and hid in my bedroom for a little while until party plans brought me back out.

By the evening I was frazzled and sleep could not come soon enough.

When I woke up this morning I was angry at my Companion and Team for varying reasons I won’t get into. My Companion moved to my left side and was very close and not alone. I knew he was blocking Spirit, which I was pleased about. I have been so angry that I told him I would not channel anymore and was ready to stop blogging completely. I asked for no more nighttime travels to space or E.T. encounters. It is all too much for me right now.

Through all my upset I was hit over and over with warm heart hugs that spread throughout my body. Usually these settle me down but I just continued to yell at my Companion. Despite this, the hugs kept coming.

Once I settled down I began to hear a song playing in my head:

Yes, it’s true
(Yes, it’s true)
I am happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it’s true
(Yes, it’s true)
I’m so happy to be stuck with you
‘Cause I can see
(I can see)
That you’re happy to be stuck with me

Hahahaha! Who wouldn’t laugh? This is so like Steven to shove a song in my head about being “stuck” together and liking it! If I could strangle him I would.

No matter how angry or upset or depressed I get Steven always attempts to lighten my mood. I am usually too serious to laugh but this one was too funny.

But what is up with all these 80’s songs? Really?

Dream: Crustacean Fruit

I didn’t have many dreams last night. This is the only one I remember.

Dream: Crustacean Fruit

I was sitting in class with several other adults. I saw a man that was very attractive and watched him for a while. He and a friend were discussing a young woman with red hair. The man I was watching decided he would talk to her. I was disappointed and began comparing myself to the other women in the classroom. They all seemed so much younger than me. What was I doing in school anyway?

Then the man was coming to stay at my house. I remember being very nervous and tidying up the bathroom. When I opened the bathroom drawers to put away clutter I found my husband’s clothing stuffed inside. It was embarrassing to me. The man didn’t care, he was preparing to take a shower and talking about a trip. I remember he was short compared to my husband.

Then I was sitting with the same man. He handed me a large papaya fruit as he talked to me about his travels to South America, specifically Peru and Brazil. I remember discussing with him the energy of the area and how it was an area that needed attention at this time. I had never been there and was not interested in traveling there. I was interested in traveling to Australia. The man had never been there.

I took a bite of the papaya I had been given. It was fleshy and sweet. I asked, “What kind of fruit is this?” The man took it from me and then said, “You have to rip out the legs first” and took hold of some shrimp-like legs and ripped them out. I got grossed out then because the area I had taken the bite from had been where the creature’s head would have been.

Interpretation

I believe the first part of the dream pertains to me becoming distracted from my life lessons (class) temporarily. This distraction brought up an issue that I needed to inspect, thus the trip to the bathroom. Bathrooms indicate renewal or emotional release is needed. In this case such emotion release is related to my husband since his things were in all the drawers of the bathroom. The discussion about parts of the world is likely to represent my gridwork. This part of the dream was very vivid compared to the rest. The last part about the papaya fruit turning into a crustacean indicates that something sweet (fruit), in this case a healthy sex drive (papaya), brought up feelings of powerlessness and insignificance (crustacean).

 

Dream: Landslide and Barbie House

Yesterday was a wild day in many ways. I went to sleep very distraught for personal reasons I will not go into detail about on here. Let’s just say sometimes life really sticks it to you and I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I planned it.

Dream: Landslide

I was walking along a mountain road with a male friend whom I knew and trusted. I cannot remember his face now, just features and a warm, reassuring energy.

It became very obvious to me that I was completely naked as I walked this road. It didn’t bother me at all. In fact, it seemed that was how I was suppose to be – baring my all to the world.

As we walked we came to a landslide that was blocking the path upward. I remember feeling very, very sad as I climbed barefoot over large boulders and rocks with sharp edges. My friend was encouraging and so sympathetic that I am surprised I didn’t start to cry. I recall others also climbing over the debris. I suppose they also were confronting life in a similar way as myself otherwise why else would they be there?

Dream: Barbie House

After climbing over the rocks the path spread out into a field and I met up with a small group of people to debrief. It was dark outside and I could see the night sky. When we were done I went in search of a shower and I saw it was quite a distance away. I sprinted for it, feeling free in my nakedness and having energy beyond what I typically have in my waking life. I felt young and beautiful, too, and was proud of my appearance.

I took a shower and recall my friend talking to me as I did but of course I don’t remember what he said to me. When I exited the shower I sought out my deodorant and clothes but was instructed to look at where I was staying. So I took a look and saw what resembled a life-size section of a dollhouse. I got a tour of it and was shown a room with a bed, tall wardrobe and a small crib for a baby. I inspected the crib area noting it was made completely of plastic. I then looked at my bed but did not want to get into it.

Looking back on the dream, I recall knowing that my body was almost too perfect – like Barbie, which is why I called the dream Barbie House. When I was getting the tour of the house I remember hearing, “You have everything you ever wanted in life (with this I saw the typical American Dream scenario), aren’t you happy with it?”

Interpretation

When I awoke it was 4:30am and I was extremely sad and upset. I knew that the landslide dream was about the previous day’s events and I how I ended up feeling as if my life were crumbling down around me. My nakedness represented how I completely “exposed” myself. The shower was likely a representation of healing, though I felt anything but healed when I awoke.

The dollhouse dream was perhaps the most eye-opening for me. Not only was I being shown how picture perfect my life is but also how manufactured it is. We are taught that the ultimate goal of life is to get married, have kids, live in a house in the suburbs, and live happily-ever-after. But then what? What comes after “happily-ever-after”? The lack of fulfillment that comes with falling into the prefabricated middle-class, American dream creates a trap that is difficult to escape. How does anyone pretend to be happy with such a life? It is so empty.

I cried for a while, asking for help and healing. I fell into a dreamless sleep and when I awoke I felt calm and reassured. I have no idea what commenced but thankfully I no longer felt so hopeless.

 

Requisite Breaks Limited and Brief

I have been receiving many messages over the last week, all of which came so quickly and intensely that it has taken me this long to sort them out. All originated from my contact with Fleet and thus with Sananda himself.

  • Requisite breaks will be limited and brief. Take your rest when you can get it. Intensity will increase as the energy fluctuations regulate.
  • No rest for the weary. Those of you who are on this crazy roller coaster with me, the energy will continue to intensify up and through June. There is some kind of disturbance in the energy field of Earth; the grid is experiencing upheavals in certain areas. I specifically see the Middle East and Asia as areas of intense conversion right now. Many Gridworkers are spending much of their nights anchoring and stabilizing the energy in their assigned zones while others are being reassigned and liberated.
  • There will be limited periods of relief which may physically manifest in illness, melancholy, confusion, listlessness, lethargy and other ailments. Provide yourself with what you need when you need it.
  • Unification is another topic that I hear frequently. Unification of masculine and feminine and the lighting of the Divine Spark within. This was initiated when beacons were lit in December. The First Wave was called forward into action and the second entered an initiation stage.
  • There is currently an acceleration towards one’s intended path and the movement toward a coalescing of familial/soul groups. Instructions have been given though not all have accessed it at the human consciousness level at this time. Those of us who have consciously received are being allowed time to process and acclimate to their new path. This is individual and should not be rushed.
  • The tumbling forward motion that is the catalyst for accelerating frequencies and movement onto assigned paths is requisitioned by Earth herself. One does not make progress without the other. The signs are available to you if you should look.
  • Followers will seek and find. It is your purpose to make yourself accessible to them but to not allow them to become dependent upon your assistance. They must stand in their own power.
  • Step into your power; into your Truth. Remembrance brings understanding and Purpose.

Listen to Your Heart

Listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

This song was in my head when I woke up this morning. The song was released 1988, the year that came up in my dream. I have not heard this song in longer than I can remember. Yet I heard the music and chorus as I woke.

PUSH

Ever since yesterday I have been seemingly followed by an entourage in Spirit. The energy around me is sky high and I am struggling to stay present in this reality. I manage but it has been difficult, especially at night.

There are so many components to this that it is difficult to explain. I feel as if I am being pushed out of my current life in order to start a new one. It is like I am suppose to want to do this and it is obvious to me that a part of me does. Yet I feel unable to act. I feel very much a struggle between two Me’s. The message is to stay centered in my heart but that seems to be the source of the push and it gets incredibly strong if I stay there too long. And if I don’t stay there my head starts to hurt and I feel split in two and near panic. Then the energy is so intense and my guidance so persistent….I don’t know what to do.

Every day the part of me that is attached to this life is being worn down. I feel her losing her ground and I don’t know if I can stop it.

Intense Desire

On top of the continual push to change I have started to have intense sexual urges arise out of nowhere. I feel about ready to explode with sexual energy to the point that it is starting to come out in my dreams. This is crazy out of the ordinary for me. I feel like I did when I was a teenager in love. Way out of control! Thankfully I am so busy with life that it has not bothered me much. Plus, it is kind of nice. 🙂

Completely Open

As if the push to change and the intense desire is not enough, I am wide open to Spirit communication, especially in the early morning and evening hours. This morning I had to actually put up a bubble of protection around me and ask for all in spirit who were not part of my Team to be blocked. It helped, thankfully, but I have not had to do that in ages.

I had many odd message sneak through this morning. For example, I had a complete conversation with someone wanting to pass on a message to Josh Long. Another one come through unexpectedly who said, “I knew you when you were four years old and a fish”. This came out of the blue and startled me at first. “Fish??” I thought. After I had gotten over the message and stopped taking it literally, I laughed about it. When I was little I was in our swimming pool all day long in the warmer months. I was called a “fish” all the time by my parents and their friends because I was always in the water. Hahaha! I don’t know who it was in Spirit who came through but they brought back good memories for me. 🙂