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Meditation Reveals More

I had a chance yesterday afternoon to meditate for a little while. I was exhausted from not getting good sleep, so it was a nice reprieve.

Meditation Revelations

I focused on my third eye and heart which were not very responsive but did eventually respond. In the last couple of days my connection has been interrupted by my overemotional reaction to the soul retrieval work I unintentionally recalled. It brought tons of fear and old emotion to the surface.

My Companion brought with him a counseling energy as we discussed what was going on with me.

“It’s time to be decisive. Your considerations are noted. We are aware that you are not fully comfortable with that which has been presented thus far. It is important, however, to trust that which you have been given as it comes fully from Source. Before you can move onto your next step your mind must be focused, not distracted by Ego-driven questions or influenced by Ego-driven, illogical emotional outbursts”.

I spend some time mulling over what it is that is bothering me so much about what I have Remembered. It isn’t so much the upset caused by my soul retrieval work. I can handle emotional heaviness as it has been a burden I agreed to carry this life. What is bothering me is a feeling that whatever awaits me on the next step is enough to throw my current life and relationships into a tailspin. I have had similar big shifts in my life long ago and so the fear of such a change holds me back from wanting to see whatever it is that I am meant to.

Yet I know there is no going back and that my resistance only makes the next step that much more challenging and upsetting. I also know that I tend to overreact prematurely to the feeling of the upcoming change. Likely it is not as bad as it appears.

I Stay Behind

I fell into the in-between at some point and found myself walking down gray, stone steps. I felt to be descending into an underground room or similar. My awareness kicked in when there came over me a heavy, gentle energy that swayed me towards unconsciousness.

I immediately knew my Companion was taking me deep into my subconscious. What would have happened next is unknown to me because I woke and reprimanded him for trying to subdue me in such a way. I want to be conscious of what is going on!

There was a realization of what we were discussing then. I asked questions I already knew the answers to. Questions about the time when They would come retrieve those who were to be saved from the inevitable cataclysms in Earth’s future. I wondered if I would go, too, and instantly knew I was to stay behind. I knew why, even though I didn’t want to know. I was to stay to help gather as many as possible for the evacuation, to help them see, to help them to not be afraid. I would stay because that is what I do. I help.

This is definitely not something my Ego wanted to hear or know. But I am OK with it. There are many, many others like myself who will stay. Many of us who volunteered for this task will stay behind. There will so much to do here and Earth will not be a complete loss. We will rebuild it. And I love Earth. It feels like my child; like a part of me. I could never leave it.

This is not all in one lifetime. In this I Remembered why I will have two more lives here after this one. I had secretly hoped to get out of those lives and was reminded that I could choose to finish what I started here somewhere else. Unlike many of my Starseed brothers and sisters, I chose to create karma and have some repayment left. I felt and was similarly advised that Earth was the best and quickest option for settling those debts (I am almost done!). Specifically I heard, “Why stop now when we have come so far?” and saw a vision of marathon route and knew I only had a few miles left to go.

We Won’t Give Up

I felt and still feel the combined goal of those of my kind – the Starseeds. We came here because we love Earth and everything that she is – the good and the bad. We see her potential above all else and the potential of mankind as well. In this there is a combined effort to make sure she is not destroyed.

We won’t give up on her.

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Prompting from My Team

After yesterday’s sudden memory of dreamtime work, I found myself struggling with massive heart chakra fluctuations. I would go from feeling normal to suddenly being very emotional. I busied myself baking Christmas cookies for most of the day to avoid it, but there was always a feeling that my attention was needed elsewhere. There came with it an urge to sit at the computer and write, but I was afraid of what would come out.

Night Brings Memory

I desperately wanted to sleep and wake to a new day, but it seems that was not meant to be. I tossed and turned for a good three hours before I finally slept. In that time I would often slip into the in-between; on the edge of sleep and wakefulness. It was like when I crossed that “line” there was a floodgate opened and all that transpired previously – my “other” work – would return.

The memories would wake me up with a start and I would ask they be removed and they would. Yet some remained, enough for me to feel the urgency behind them and the prompting from my Team to allow these memories to remain.

Thankfully, I fell asleep and do not recall much of my dreams. I do remember once again being a teacher of children, this time high school aged. I felt very calm and composed despite their misbehavior. It is like I transformed into a much wiser, more patient guide to them compared to my actual time teaching in the physical.

I awoke much too early for my liking – 5:30. I felt immediately the presence of my Team. One was close and persistent. I would fall into the in-between and it seemed like he would slip into my consciousness symbols and memories. One such symbols I saw looked like a large pecan. I thought, “pecan” and was corrected by him – “chromosome”. I recognized the similarity and almost laughed but then got upset because I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to get me to remember something and I was set against it.

Another memory came to me in a very detailed image of blueprints. They appeared to be blueprints for the building of some kind of machine. It was curious and I knew it belonged to a type of aircraft and that part of the blueprints included the platform on which it would land. I was curious but then again pushed it away as if yelling, “No!” Yet the memory remains solid in my mind even now.

As I tried to settle into my heart center I felt this assistant nearby. I received communication from him on behalf of my Team. “We want you to Remember. It is of the utmost importance”.

I do want to, but then I don’t. I am conflicted.

I received communication that I would Remember. I was told I would be “visited”. I am not sure what that means nor do I really care. I can request it be saved in my subconscious to be remembered later.

Prompting 

Though I do not open the doors to the full communication, I can feel what it is They want me to do. They want me to fully accept what I Know and am Remembering. This includes sharing it with others. The reason I feel urged to write is to share what I am experiencing and Remembering. This is part of my mission here. It is meant to be more involved than I am allowing it to be.

I have a strong draw to connect with others like myself. At first I was just reading other blogs and websites and perusing Facebook. Now, though, I am feeling a strong urge to connect with certain groups and people – meaning send them emails or telephone them. I resist, though, because to connect with these group and people means I am accepting my experiences and knowingness fully. I am not sure I am there yet. Some of these groups and people are very “out there” in their beliefs and experiences. There are contactees, abductees, Starseeds, channelers, and others. I am drawn to them very strongly. I feel like I have to talk to them, but about what I have no idea.

Shifting into Alternate Dimensions

I wanted to add one more thing before I forget again. The reason I am struggling to fall asleep is that as I slip into the in-between I feel a strangeness come over me. It is an odd feeling that I cannot describe and it unsettles me. It reminds me of previous experiences I have had where I feel that pieces of me are leaving or returning. It scares me but really I should not be scared. When I feel this fear my Ego driven consciousness awakens and the feeling subsides. But it returns as soon as I near sleep.

I am told I am shifting into alternate dimensions. I cross over the veil or whatever it is that divides this world from the next. The feeling is my energy body moving out of my physical body but not in the way that is usual with an OBE. There are no vibrations like with OBE. It is subtler and hard for me to understand. It has to do with a new ability I have not fully awakened to (I am doing it but it has not fully integrated with this consciousness yet) and the crystalline body is involved.

When I shift is when the memories come flooding in. I feel different when this happens. Like I am me but I am not me. I suspect this feeling is my Companion taking the pilot seat and me stepping back. Except that I don’t step back. I freak out when the Knowingness and the strange feeling takes over.

I will say that the urges I am feeling to connect with others like myself and to speak up about what I am going through are getting stronger and stronger. I almost blurted out to my husband, “I am talking to aliens” but held back this morning because I was not ready to get into a long dialogue about it. But I suspect I will eventually blurt out something soon enough if this urgency, this prompting of such intensity, continues.

I know why I am so resistant. The urgency and the intensity of it scares me. I feel unable to control it and the things I Remember and experience. This creates fear and resistance from the Ego and is in the way. I am told I will “relinquish”. Probably. They are always right.

 

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Dream Work Remembered

After writing my last post, I kept feeling like I needed to write more, but I didn’t know what or why. I had a strange feeling following me, so I decided to go grocery shopping for Christmas cookie ingredients to get clear my head.

On the way home I had an unexpected vision of the Earth as if viewing it from space. When I saw it, I felt an intense sadness and suffocating grief come over me.

Then I remembered why.

Dream Work: Assisting the Preparation

All at once I remembered what I had been doing in my dreams. Early in the night I awakened from the most intensely emotionally disturbing dream ever. Thankfully the dream is almost completely erased from my mind. Images remain, as does the intense emotion and the memory of where it came from and why.

The images are of people of various ages and genders. I didn’t know any of them but there were hundreds, maybe thousands. I was trying to help them, trying to calm them down. They were all in despair and suffering from various stages of shock. Some were missing body parts. Others were injured in other ways such as abrasions on their face, hands, legs and arms. Some were looking for loved ones.

The scene they were coming out of was full of dust and debris making it hard for me to see. It seemed like a massive explosion or some kind of disaster area. I don’t know what happened whether it was an explosion or something else. All I know is what I saw and the intense emotion I felt for the people I was trying to help. I became so involved in what I was doing that I began to confuse them for people I know in my life. This is why I believe I became so distraught. I had been reminded to “remain objective” the day before. Had I done that I would not have taken on the emotion and pain all around me.

It felt like I had visited Hell in my sleep.

Relief Given

When I awoke I was crying in heaving sobs. My nose was so clogged and my pillow so wet that I must have been crying for a while. I don’t remember much of what happened when I woke except that I was aware that something horrible was going to happen and I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling. I asked to sleep, and so I returned to sleep quite quickly. Apparently I also was relieved of my memory because when I got up this morning I had absolutely no conscious memory of this at all (not the dream, not my tears or wet pillow – nothing). Just an odd feeling that was bothering me.

Memory Recovered

When all this came back to me on the drive home I was hit with such despair that I almost couldn’t breathe. My Companion took it away, though, just by saying, “It’s okay”. I felt the warm, loving energy come into my heart and spread out and I heaved a sigh of relief. But it was too late to avoid the memory. I had it back.

I instantly knew what I had been doing in my dream. I was assisting people who would be involved in a crisis that would end their lives. I instantly knew they were “preparing” – that they knew this is what they had agreed to. I am not sure why I was assisting but it was overwhelming to my Earth consciousness.

I cried when I saw the Earth in my vision because I feel loss for it. The feeling is what I would image I would feel if my own child were taken from me and destroyed right in front of my eyes.

I understand why I felt so weird this morning, now. I don’t want to scare anyone, but after this memory and experience and the emotion of it, I feel again that sense that time is running out.

There was also a strange feeling that there will come a time when I will “speak for them”. It is like They will make themselves known and people will be afraid and I, and others like me, will speak on their behalf to help calm people and explain why they came.

Honestly, when this kind of information comes to me and in such a way as this I think I must have woken up inside a movie or something. It is so bizarre. What the heck is going on?

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Dream: Golden Eagle

I slept deeply last night. After so many nights of fitful sleep, it was wonderful!

Dream: Class on Hold

I had a near-lucid dream in which I went into a classroom to wait for class to begin. There were other students there and we were all tired. Interestingly, there were sofas for us to sit on and so most of us were lying down and resting. I recall two men I was familiar with whom invited me to lay my head on their legs. I could not get comfortable because people kept talking.

There was a conversation about the class by two young people. One was complaining about how hard it was. I knew we were in a history class and I recall I said to him, “You guys always choose the hard history classes like “Asian History” or something. If you would just take Western Civ like you are suppose to it wouldn’t be so hard”.

I realized at that point that I had a Master’s degree and wondered if I even needed this history class. I then though I could use it towards this “new” degree.

A black woman was periodically poking her head in to check on us until class started. She did not want us sleeping and kept giving me “the look”. At one point she brought in toys to keep us occupied but they were given as gifts. I recall that I was called to the front by my husband and given a small box. When  I opened it, several interconnected, pink paperclips were inside. I knew they were to pin my wings back, like restrain them. They were so tiny, though, and I was insulted by the gift. My husband laughed.

I got another gift. – a barbie with accessories. I said, “You want me to play with this?” I took my barbie to the sofa and pretended to play with her while the black lady kept giving me the look. I couldn’t help but feel like everyone was laughing at me. I felt very “serious” compared to them and just wanted to sleep!

Dream: Golden Salt Rock 

Fed up with waiting for class to start (we were suppose to be resting!) I wandered to the edge of the classroom. It extended into a long hall and I saw a t.v. screen. I watched it even though the volume was turned off. The black woman checked on me and I told her I was watching the show. She was pleased I wasn’t sleeping.

As I watched, I saw a large room behind the screen. It was a cavernous-type room of a golden-brown color. It was separated from me by a large, glass window.  It looked like the inside of a cave. In the center was this very large, round rock. It was also golden in color but I knew it was a salt rock placed there for therapy and that the store was a massage therapy type business. The salt rock was massive and lit from the inside. It glowed a beautiful gold color and pulsated. I wanted badly to touch it. I saw several people receiving healing in an adjacent room. It peaked my interest.

Dream: Golden Eagle

Then I was walking along a high mountain path leading some people to where – I don’t know. There was this golden eagle just sitting on the side of the path. I picked it up, letting it sit on my left arm. It was massive and beautiful and I just wanted to take it with me. It seemed tame and I loved its golden plumage.

As I walked I looked at the ground and it was covered in snow drifts. I knew they were from an old snow and enjoyed hearing the crunch of my feet as I walked through it. I was talking to the group behind me. I felt like I was their leader and was informing them of what the symbolism of it all meant.

I placed the eagle in a snow drift and watched as it sunk down and then nestled inside it. I said, “Look, it is making a nest in the snow”.

Interpretations

The first class appears to be a dream about resting and waiting for a class to start – class symbolizing learning. I felt like an old pro and was very tired of the learning, it seems. Others were trying to cheer me up, but I seemed overly serious.

The salt rock felt to me to be symbolic of healing as did the entire massage therapy shop. I longed for this rejuvenation and the dream felt to me like I was reminiscing on old times or perhaps thinking of the future when I could get much needed healing.

The eagle dream was the most memorable. I could feel the eagle and really loved him. I carried him like an old friend. Eagles symbolize self-renewal and one’s connection to their spiritual side. I also feel it represents an acceptance of the spiritual side of myself. I was very carefree and accepting even though I was walking a treacherous mountain path.

Intergalactic Space Craft

I had instances before dream time where I was hearing about a space craft. I heard the name but only remember part of it – The Intergalactic something or rather. I saw it hovering just above Earth and saw the edge of it. It was a saucer but it was massive and I only saw the edge of it.

Before I could get the whole name, I yelled at my Team, “Stop it, I don’t want to know.  It’s just too weird!” But the information kept coming in and keeping me from sleeping. Of the information that got through, there was mention of “gathering” and “convening”. There were also flashes of light in my vision.

I finally dozed off at some point. However, I feel the “class” and all my dreams were symbolic of me being in this craft. I believe I went to “check-in” and that was where I stayed most of the night.

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Question and Messages

We present to you a question: Would you be willing to let us through so that we may assist huemanity through you? 

I am being presented with this question today. Yesterday as well. And before that, too.

 

Before being presented this morning with this question, I had seen in front of me many visions and heard many messages mixed in with them.

Straw

Representing a “conduit of consciousness”. It was golden in color and laying on its side. I felt this represented something I was currently doing, but had trouble understanding it.

stewardThe Earth

I saw a small, round object being passed from hand to hand by a group of people standing in a circle. It was hard to see, so I took a closer look. I saw that it was the Earth.

Message About Dreams vs Reality

As I was waking up I heard someone explaining how I had to return to the unknowingness now. I remember thinking, “Sleep is my real life and wake is my pretend life”.

Many Will Be Leaving

I had an entire communication with someone about the state of the world and how things would soon escalate. I was told, “Many are leaving. Many will be leaving”. I had a sadness at hearing this but a feeling that I knew this would happen.

Explosion in the Sky

I saw what appeared to be fire and then saw a very bright flash of light. I got the message: there will be an explosion in the sky and then you will see the Light. Look for the light.

What exactly some of these message mean are yet to be known. I will say that the last message seems to go with the message I got not long ago about a bright, white star-like object in the sky.

I plan on allowing my Companion through as requested, but I don’t truly understand how or what will result. I’ll keep you all posted.

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The Arcturians and the Team~ Navigating Higher Dimensional Grids-December 9, 2015.

Another synchronistic post that goes with what I experienced this morning. Thank you Maria.

Maria Bethencourt's avatarLightlover Journal

imageThe Arcturians and the Team~
Navigating Higher Dimensional Grids-December 9, 2015.

This next step in the Journey of Remembering is about fully stepping into your multidimensional Self.
Quantum jumping.
Accessing all multidimensional tools.
Unifying with your Angelic Self.

There is no longer a need to look at what was left behind,(3d),as you fully step into the unknown.

As you further expand into your Hearts and Remember, you constantly continue on the spiral of ascension into higher inner vibrational grids of Creation.
Each one a finer system of discernment, the ultimate goal to further connect in Oneness with Source, while experiencing individual physicality.

Each grid further assimilates integration within each soul and brings it closer to Oneness of Self.
ALL are Source expressing SELF in physicality.

Everything created is from Source Energy and Frequency.

Grids are a created frequency blueprint experience of oversouls.
These further separate into the lower dimensions as…

View original post 2,144 more words

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Anchoring the Grid

I was awakened at 4:30 am both by my Team and by my youngest who is teething. I attempted to return to sleep but found my mind inundated with information. I pleaded with my Team to shut it off – I wanted to sleep! Yet it continued even after I reinforced my “shielding”.

Eventually I felt I needed to just tune-in, so I settled on my back and focused on my heart space.

Preparation

I soon found myself in-between and in a lucid to semi-lucid state. I was meeting up with several members of a large-extended “family”. I recognized all of them but was there specifically to meet up with four individuals.

What we discussed is mostly lost to me now, but I do recall we were “preparing” for a birthday celebration. I remember seeing a dark haired woman who had long, wavy hair that reached her waist. She wore dark colored lipstick and was very familiar to me. There were two other women as well who were also familiar. One had brown hair and the other had lighter hair than mine (blonde). All were wearing dark dresses that reminded me of a coven of witches or a pagan ritual-type of scene.

There was a young man also with us who I looked upon as my little brother. He was tagging along as an observer as he was not quite ready to take part in our “ritual”. I remember being very fond of him, almost coddling him.

I was pulled from this meeting occasionally to consult and contemplate. In these times I would gain more lucidity. Each time I would see a scene as if looking out a window. It was always a beautiful scene of Fall with trees of varying colored leaves and rolling hillsides. I kept wanting to see the Rocky Mountains but it wasn’t the Rockies. I believe it was the Appalachian Mountains or at least the rolling hills near them.

When in these more lucid moments I would become aware of an energy seeming to flow both up and down my body in waves. It was a comfortable energy. It felt natural and pleasant.

OBE: Cut Short

In one of these periods where I could feel the energy, I knew I could exit my body and so in one fluid motion rolled out and immediately flew upward. I could not see well and immediately asked for more energy. I could see the outline of my home, the staircase to my left. I moved toward the front door and saw a barrier of energy in front of me. It appeared dark like everything else, but I recognized it as an entity (not a bad one). I instinctively knew the energy was there to stop me. I pushed past it (not through it ) and kept moving toward the door. I again asked for more energy but felt instead that I should not be OOB. I protested this and tried to force my own agenda. With a big rush, I was pulled back into my body and found myself back in my bed. The energy was still pulsing up and down my body and I returned to the in-between.

I was immediately reminded, “You cannot leave your body right now”. I requested more information. I got exactly that.

Anchoring the Grid and “Flash” Consciousness

I remembered what I had been doing when in the in-between. The people I was meeting were people I know from the internet but have never met in real life. I got their names – LightLover, Angel and Elizabeth. The young man I did not receive a name for.

I saw that we were working with the energy of the Earth. Specifically the new energy grid hat has been established to elevate the consciousness of Earth. I was told, “Holding” as an explanation of what we were doing with this energy. I saw that the energy (blue-green in color) was coming into each of us and we were essentially keeping it anchored and allowing the energy to expand outward.

I saw the energy grid and recognized we were the grid! This grid is being anchored and the energy held by individuals all over the planet. We are doing this work on a multidimensional level (subconscious for the most part). Yet I was being allowed to glimpse my part in it at this time.

I wondered to what purpose we were doing this and it was explained that we chose to hold the energy for those who could not. We integrate and transmute the energy for those who are currently unable to. This energy grid is the new template, the new Earth template, and one in which we will eventually move into permanently.

I was told this is “Phase 2” and that there are four phases. I did not request more information other than to ask what Phase 1 was. I only received information about the loss of animal species (extinction).

Finally, I heard that this event was a “Flash Consciousness” event. Similar to a “Flash Mob” but purposeful. Individuals are invited to these events to help push/shift consciousness up to a higher level. Apparently this morning at around 4:30am CST there was one of these events occurring not just here but in other locations all over the globe.

Science Commander

As I absorbed this information, I could feel the energy pulsing through my body and was aware of the light that was the Source of this energy. I relaxed into the feeling, enjoying the energy going up, down, up, down, up, down – root to crown, crown to root.

Then the young man from my previous in-between experience approached me and called me, “Commander”. I responded, “Yes?” and this brought me into a more conscious awareness. I wondered, “Me? Commander?” I heard, “Yes, Science Commander”.

I thought, “Science? What does that have to do with this? Why Science?” And I remembered my dream from the night before where I signed a contract to be a “Science Teacher”.

I received information then of the “scientific” aspect of this work I am doing. It is indeed a science, one that is on a whole other level than what we are familiar with here on Earth. I saw the grid, I saw the anchors all over the world (people anchors). I saw the “vessels” located at different strategic points in space above the Earth. These were rendezvous points where we “holders” go to “check-in” and receive information about the current state of Earth’s energies.

What is strange is that most of this information is not accessible to me now. It is there in a sort of visual but not in the scientific terminology it was when I received it. Yet I completely comprehend it and feel comfortable with it.

I was, last night, in the area of the Blue Ridge portion of the Appalachian Mountains of the U.S. Specifically I was around southern Tennessee, helping  to establish the anchors in that area. I was told I had been doing this work on the night of the 5th as well and that the next date is the 11th.

Not all the anchors are maintaining a holding pattern right now. This means some are unable to “hold” the energy for very long and so others must come in and take over. Eventually, the holders will remain 100% of the time and this exchange will be unnecessary. Until then, people like me make  “rounds” to help assist with the exchange as we already are able to hold (anchor) the energy all the time.

It is all very beautiful to behold. I wish I could show it to you.

 

 

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Dream: Wear Your Glasses

Just recalled a dream I had forgotten that I believe is significant.

Dream: Wear Your Glasses

I was driving to a party. I saw a row of houses lined up and spotted my destination. It was the only white house on the block. Not only was it white, but it was flat-topped, adobe style, stucco. The main area was lower than its two, taller sides which almost made it look like a miniature castle.

I did a u-turn and parked my car. As I opened the door, the host and hostess came out the door. As I got out of my car I said, “But I didn’t even knock yet”. They said, “We heard your arrival”. I recall vaguely hearing a bell ringing when I parked my car and thought it odd.

They escorted me inside. I was the first guest. I walked into the living area where there was a white, marble fireplace in the center. I recall seeing lots of wood molding and trim as well as flowers and nice furniture.

The host and hostess stood and watched me look around. Then one of them asked, “Don’t you want to put on your glasses?”

Surprised, I peered around the room, checking my vision. Did I need glasses? No, I could see quite well.

I told them, “No, I can see fine”.

Then they asked again, “Don’t you want to put on your glasses? It would help you see better”.

I said, “No, I don’t want to”.

Again, they asked me if I wanted to put on my glasses.

I thought about it. I had glasses, I remembered that, but I could see fine. I was seeing fine right at that moment. Yet the question was repeating.

My response this time was, “No, I don’t think so. If I put on my glasses then I will have to take them off again and then things just won’t look the same. I will know what I am not seeing and want to see it all the time”. I was sad about this but to me it made more sense to avoid the disappointment that would inevitably follow me taking my glasses off again.

Considerations

I told my mom about this dream and she said, “Sounds like you don’t want to see something”. True, very true. What? I suspect that I was being given the option to expand my awareness or perception in this body and for some reason I thought of the after-effects of having such an opportunity and felt it was not worth it.

I can completely understand why I would reason this way. So many, many times now I have had awe-inspiring, eye-opening, jaw-dropping revelations and/or experiences. And every time the wonder and awe of the experience leaves behind a gaping hole that cannot be filled by this physical experience. Physical life and what it has to offer doesn’t even come close.

I am left here longing for another experience to fill the hole; longing to return Home.

I suspect I was offered another glimpse into the unknown. With all the glimpses I have had up to this point, and all I have learned, I guess whatever it was caused me to feel the hole left behind would be too much for me right now.

I kinda want to kick the me in the dream right now. Grr!

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Message: You’re Starving

Yesterday morning upon waking, I heard very clearly a voice saying to me, “You’re starving”.

At the time, I had been awake quite some time and was grumpy because I did not want to get out of bed so early. The message came out of the blue when my mind had quieted and I was tuning into my third-eye and heart.

I was not hungry.

The voice was hoarse-sounding and came from directly in front of me. It did not startle me because it was quiet and seemed to come from within my mind rather than from some place physical. It was very obviously a male voice.

I have no idea who it was or why they would tell me I was starving. Of course, ever since then, I have been wondering what it means.

The most obvious would be that I was literally hungry. But this was not true at the time.

The next obvious was that this “hunger” is another kind of hunger, one that means a need or craving for something.

This makes much more sense to me.

Starving implies that I am more than hungry, too. This is complete lack of sustenance.

It makes me wonder how this applies and has me contemplating so much about my life. So far, I do not feel such a lack, but I do feel an emptiness inside still. Perhaps this emptiness is what the statement is referring to. Maybe I need to start trying to do something about it.

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Dream: Signing a Contract

I slept fitfully last night and woke way too early. I also awoke in a foul mood. It was as if I had been fighting with my Companion and Team during the night.

Dream: Signing a Contract

In this dream I was inside a school lab working hard on lesson plans. I had in front of me pages and pages of hand written plans.

A man came into the room and I told him, “I have almost completed plans for the entire year”. He acknowledged but appeared serious. He placed in front of me a single sheet of paper. I read it and knew it was a contract. At this time I felt I had been hired to be a middle school science teacher. I signed without resignation. I recall the date I wrote was 7/10.

Upset

When I awoke I was upset. The signing of the contract triggered me to wake and I had a resistance to it but I don’t know why. I suspect I have been asked to fulfill an obligation that is “mundane” in nature. That is what it feels like anyway.

As I was still in-between I was able to clearly see the man from the dream escorting a young man to meet me. I stopped the communication right then. I didn’t want to know anymore. I knew whatever the agreement was involved this man but by experience I also know that rarely do the people I see in my visions even slightly resemble the actual people I meet in life.

scorpionDream: Scorpions

When I fell back to sleep, I had a dream in which I leaned over and a bug fell out of my hair. I watched as it grew into a black scorpion. I had an urge to kill it but needed something to squash it with. I found a shoe but behind it was another scorpion. I ignored it and pursued the one that fell out of my hair because it was growing in front of my eyes.

I cornered it. It now appeared near the size of house cat and was shrieking like a wounded rabbit. It’s stomach was protruding and it almost began to look like something other than a scorpion.

I swatted at it but couldn’t get it. Then it fell into a deep, black pit. I knew the pit was deep and I heard it shrieking as it fell and as it hit the aluminum ladder that led to the bottom of the pit.

Warning

I awoke feeling the message was not a good one. This scorpion was symbolic of something I did not want to acknowledge. It falling down the pit only meant it was being pushed deeper when it needed to be confronted. It would come back up at some point and there was not avoiding it.

Other Dreams/Feelings

I had many other dreams, but they are all mixed up together now.

I recall one where I was being asked to help with making a birthday present for a man named Bruce. I preferred to be online chatting but there was a problem with my device. I was asked to “grind the crystals into a powder”. I asked why and was told it was part of the present and saw this device that appeared to send signals as it had two large speakers on it. In the middle was a cluster of crystals, blue in color. I told the person, “I don’t want to!” and refused to grind the crystals, instead going back to my device. I kept missing the messages I was getting, though.

In another dream I was teaching and a particular student was disruptive. I reacted unlike I would normally. I ignored him and just took away points from him. I recall he had really messed up things and another teacher commented, “Yeah, he does that”. Instead of being irritated by him and dreading teaching him I just took it all in stride. I had seen worse. I remember surprising myself in the dream because I did not think I would be so calm in such a situation.

I woke from this dream saying, “I don’t want to teach middle school! I hate middle school! Why is it always middle school?” I was reminded that I was teaching – not actually IN middle school. This did not make me feel better.

My overall feeling is that I am being asked to begin work on a particular part of my mission here. From the feeling and looks of it, the mission is continuing where I left off – likely something to do with education and children. Whatever it is, I am very unhappy about it. So much so that I began to ask to go Home again.