Author Archives

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Download via the Heart

Once again I sense an energy shift. It is subtle. I would not have noticed had I not focused on my heart center.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and my universe feels so large and expansive. There were messages streaming in and I felt so connected to the past, present and future all at once. It was – IS – all at once.

A friend had posted on FB a Bashar video. I am not sure why, but I listened to it. The minute Bashar began to speak, my third eye lit up and I had memories hit me all at once and suddenly yet at the same time it was as if they had always been and I had never forgotten. Here is the video in case you are curious (thanks Karin!).

The memories included recent events that I had never consciously acknowledged. Some came from dream conversations lost after a night of deep, wonderfully healing sleep. Others came from a deep, inner knowingness that I have always had but my conscious mind does not wish to confront for fear that they might be true.

I believe the Bashar video was there to confirm that my memories and my understanding of other me’s (inter-dimensionally) whom I have met and interacted with are in fact what I have considered them to be but would not allow myself to accept.

The me who came into my consciousness in May, the one who revealed my Starseed origins and introduce a level of bliss that I did not think existed, is in stasis somewhere and learning via incarnations, preparing via this incarnation and communication and connecting with the Earth me, now in this time. The explanation Bashar gave of how he communicated through the channel Darryl was so similar that I could not dismiss it.

Also, his description of himself – gray, bald, short – brought instantly a memory of an OBE in which I stared in the mirror and saw looking back at me an image of a similar being.

While all this information was registering and clicking into place, I felt the familiar downloading sensation that indicates a channel is opening. Yet the sensation was not in my head but…in my heart. And the more I let it flow, the more it surged up into my throat creating a feeling of a need to swallow and an emotional surge upward that caused me to want to cry with joy.

And although I have been sad these last few days, weeks even, for the loss of connection with this Higher aspect of me and the amazing bliss that it brings, I realize now that I have entered completely into a new stage of expansion. The resistance I had been feeling originating, of course, in the Ego, and preventing me from feeling the new experience and integrating it wholly.

The “I am done” knowingness scared me and made it seem that there was no more adventure to be had. But I see now that the adventure is here and that the connection is here in the living. It is not living like I was before. This is a new kind of living.

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Options, Options

The morning started out sour. Thankfully, I was able to return to sleep and when I awoke the sour feeling was replaced with reluctant acceptance. With this acceptance came the message, “One day at a time, one step at a time” along with the vision of putting one foot in front of the other. I understood and remembered in the past how often times when I have thought nothing could change and life would never get better that it did – eventually. Not that life is that bad at the moment.

Heart-to-Heart

This Venus retrograde is getting tiring and that is one reason why I awoke in a sour mood. My husband and I had long talk last night, prompted by his overall dissatisfaction with life. At first I thought he was telling me that he wanted to split up and found myself holding my breath and thinking the worst. I focused on my heart center and felt I should just listen to him since it is not often we get to talk without disruption. He needed me to listen.

Eventually the movement of the energy of my husband, its force and intensity, began to lessen. I could literally feel it lighten and stop moving toward me. I recognized that he had been throwing it at me and had I not focused on my heart I would have become overwhelmed by it.

Now that the energy was more neutral the real talking could begin, and it did. We ended up with a productive chat and what is outrageous about it is that my husband and I began talking about empathy and he used the analogy of a strength training workout! Such synchronicity as I had just written the same analogy that morning and he was not aware that I had.

Fly Little Bird, Fly

I slept easily after our talk but, like I said, I awoke not very happy. I knew upon waking that my days of spiritual epiphanies, Kundalini bliss and wholeness/connection with my Higher Self were over. The message in my head was clear as it said, “I am done”. So final, so earth-shattering in its simplicity.

I tried to pretend I did not know what the message meant, but I did/do. It means that the process has reached a plateau. The baton has been passed. It’s my turn to learn to fly and I am being nudged over the side of the nest.

The last time this happened I met my husband and began my family. It was indeed a wild ride. What is to come of this one? I don’t know yet, but the signs are there.

Options, Options

Interestingly, the first sign of change has been presented to me. After years of waiting, my husband has finally negotiated with his employer a change in pay that increases his base pay significantly while lowering his bonus pay. Though this is not ideal (husband hates it) that increase in base pay has been something I have pushed him to do since 2011. The increase in pay means I don’t need to work anymore.

The possibilities are endless and the freedom of this change is palpable. We have already discussed the options. He wants to eventually leave his job and build his own company. I want to stay home and work on the business that I am trying to build. I also want to be home to watch my children, to teach my 4-year-old and prepare him for school, and to find balance in my life.

Options:

  1. I leave my job and focus on building my business, home school my preschooler and help my husband plan and build his business. Pros – I get what I want, husband gets what he wants. Cons – loss of extra income, loss of medical insurance.
  2. I stay at my job until the end of the year to save up money for my husband’s business. Pros – surplus of income, keep medical insurance.

I am not sure what I want to do right now. I am finding myself resistant to leaving work just yet. They need me there. To leave early presents my employer with trying to find a replacement during a non-ideal time. It also leaves my students with no counselor.

But all my life I have wanted to not have to work; to be able to do as I pleased without financial worry.

What would you do?

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Spiritual Training

As this day unfolds more and more of the conversation I had with my Companion last night comes back to me.

Spiritual Training

I am currently in a period of spiritual training, one in which I am re-developing spiritual abilities long lost or gone very rusty. The analogy was presented to me of that of weight training, probably because that is what I am doing for my physical body at this time. It was asked for me to consider how weight training works. I responded that you increase the weight for different muscle groups in order to strengthen the muscle. It takes months of repetitive motion, of lifting increasingly more and more weight, for the muscle to respond and grow in size. One also has to eat more and supplement with protein to make sure the muscle has the right nutrients needed to respond to training.

Similarly, we must train spiritual abilities that have long gone dormant for lack of use. We must be routine in this training and not slack off for to slack off and grow lazy in such training will quickly lead to the deterioration of ability. Like muscle, our ability must be strengthened over time and nourished from within.

Empathy: Friend or Foe?

I had a dream last night that related to this analogy.

I entered a room that I vaguely recognized. Laying on a table were two bugs of marijuana, as if to remind me of drug use and its effect on one’s spiritual ability.

Then a young girl dressed in orange and bound in handcuffs came out a side door. She was frazzled and nearly ran into me. I was carrying my littlest in my arms, but he was much younger, perhaps 4 months old. Her face touched him and she smiled. I instantly felt sympathy for her and began talking calmly with her.

“You like babies, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she replied.

I let her touch his chubby arm and briefly she seemed happy.

She began to look nervous and was looking around as if to find a way to escape. I looked at her closely. She had freckles and long, thin dark blonde hair. She was about 4 inches shorter than me.

She looked me in the face and said, “You know me, don’t you? Why don’t you give readings anymore?”

Not surprised, I answered, “I can still, but I don’t. You don’t need a reading. You already know”.

She didn’t seem convinced.

Then two men came out and began to transport her away. She resisted, trying to stay with me. I leaned forward and told her, “You’re an empath. You can tell what I am thinking, feeling. You feel the answers”.

They began to take her away and I called out to her, “Being an empath can help you! But be careful, it can also hurt you”.

Considerations

Only just now did I put the dream and the analogy together. They seem important, as if the spiritual training is needed in this area or else there will be consequences.

Empathy is telepathy here in the physical. Honestly, I think as we develop the gift further we will be fully telepathic. Unfortunately, at this time the gift is untrained and poorly utilized. The Ego misinterprets the signals and disbelief is rampant.

I was born empathic and I suffered greatly from it in my youth. I did not know my feelings from the feelings of my parents and during their divorce my life became a living hell. That was when I first started wanting to go Home. I use to say over and over, “I wish I was dead”.

I continued to feel others thoughts throughout school. I isolated myself to protect myself. This technique worked but I became bitter and angry. People’s words did not match the feelings they sent out. Everyone was lying!

As an adult I have grown use to this hypocrisy. I have learned, by chance, how to differentiate my feelings and thoughts from those around me. I am not perfect at it and there is much to be learned. Apparently I am being reminded that this spiritual “muscle” needs building.

The intense energy of the Shift is wreaking havoc all around. I had thought I was impervious to it, but I am thinking now that I am not. Not at all. The negative energy, the thoughts and emotions, they are bombarding me more than ever. A closed heart does nothing to stop the bombardment. It infiltrates even the most impenetrable defenses.

I believe this message was given to me so I would not be so hard on myself. There is a reason, an explanation, for all the crazy changes lately.

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Lucid Dream: My House

After a rollercoaster of a day caused my blood sugar fluctuations, I went to bed on a low asking for assistance from my Team.

Lucid Dream: My House

I began to gain lucidity while walking into a room in a house that I knew was mine. The room was mostly empty except for some bags on the floor near a closet that were partially unpacked. I saw some clothing on the floor and walked past it toward a dark haired man who was sitting on the floor in the closet.

I knew this man but was not 100% familiar with who he was. I sat down next to him, cross-legged, about two feet away. He was also sitting cross-legged as if meditating. Perhaps that is what we were doing?

During this time I had thoughts and knowingness about this man. I knew we didn’t talk much; our conversations were without words through a deep connection. Yet I felt distant from him and hesitant to interact with him, even without words. There was a memory of us being separated and using our deep connection to stay in touch.

I remember looking upon him fondly with recognition. My conscious mind tried to match his face to my memories. He appeared similar to an ex-boyfriend of mine and the feeling that came off of him was calm and reassuring, similar to how that ex use to make me feel when he hugged me.

Then I was watching this dark haired man from a distance as he interacted with a friend. I was at first jealous and suspected him of cheating on me, but then I saw that the woman he was interacting happily with was quite pregnant. She seemed near the end of her pregnancy, her huge stomach draped in a vibrant, dark blue maternity blouse.

Relieved, I continued to watch from a distance, gliding through empty rooms and cream-colored walls. There was a feeling that I had been away for a long time. The feeling was similar to when a loved one moves overseas to a distant land and has been gone for twenty or more years.

I entered a room, finally exposing myself, and stopped a woman and said, “Why are you in my house?” I don’t think it was the same pregnant woman but am not sure because as soon as I spoke to her she vanished.

Then I spotted the man in the closet, this time standing. When I saw him I immediately went to him and he outstretched his arms. I saw his face shift at this time, the jawline becoming more square and prominent. Did he look like Robin Williams?

He said to me very audibly, “You have’t been yourself lately”.

In that instant I felt ashamed. I said, “I know. I’m sorry”.

A flood of images came into my mind but most are lost to me now. All I can recall now is that I remember being hermit-like, shunning social situations with others and rejecting the emotional connection with family.

I fell into his arms and felt an amazing relief rush over me. The feeling was that I finally came Home and could relax because now I was safe and would always be cared for. I wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Conversation

The hug caused me to fully awaken and I immediately grieved for the loss of the feeling I had just had.

“I want to go back”, I told him.

I knew that the man was me, my Higher Self. I also knew the other characters were me as well, even the pregnant woman.

The image of Robin Williams came on strongly this time. It was his face I saw in the dream. Does this represent my current state? I thought again about the message I received the night before: Rewire-Retrial.

It was obvious that I had entered once again a state of emergency and so my Companion had initiated contact. This time I was resistant and angry, all the feelings rising to the surface.

We talked for about an hour as my Companion reassured me that this was not a real emergency, just a downward spiral that needed correcting, which was easily done. I did not feel this way, of course. I explained that I was tired of failing to stay centered; the rollercoaster was getting tiresome and every contact with him caused the homesickness to worsen and abandonment issues to arise. I didn’t understand why I would torture myself like this.

He repeated over and over that he had never left and asked if he could help me. I rejected his offer initially but toward the end of our discussion I finally gave in and accepted it.

He told me that I needed to let him take the reigns once again. I felt like a failure for ever taking them back. He reminded me of advice I had given to a student just the day before: “If at first your don’t succeed, try, try again”.

I asked him if the process would be like it was in May and he said, “Not this time”. I understood this to mean it would be more work on my part; it would not just be something that happened as easily as it did before.

When I awoke in the morning I felt him near and he asked me if I was ready and I responded that I was not sure. I am still not sure I can do it. It seems like too much work.

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Light-Headed Low Blood Sugar Blues

Yesterday was yet another not-so-good day.

Light-Headed Low Blood Sugar Blues

I am two weeks into my new workout regime which consists of strength training and cardio 4 times a week. My goal is to gain muscle and lose fat. I have a personal trainer every other week, so this week I am on my own.

This workout started with 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer. About 15 minutes in I began to zone out and feel faint. Right as I ended the workout I had to get off and walk around to shake off the jitters.

I heard my guide say, “You are not grounded” and this made sense. So I did an ab circuit and after I felt good enough to do the rest of my workout. However, by the time I got into the car to drive home I was shaky again and had to eat a protein bar. Thankfully it worked by the time I got to the grocery store.

These episodes are low blood sugar episodes and I am very familiar with them. Unfortunately, they trigger mild panic attacks and I hate those. My heart felt weird, like it does when the chakra is activated, and this is hard to ignore. I was talking myself down from panic most of the drive to the store.

The rest of the day I ate like a never-ending pit. Yet the low blood-sugar blues hit me hard in the evening. All this means is that I get irritable and cranky, tired and quick to anger. I ate and ate, hoping to fix the issue but it seemed not to be enough. I was absolutely awful last night because of it.

I lost my temper so many times last night I have lost count. Everything set me off. Then things kept going wrong.

My youngest was in a strange mood, crying and going into a rage when I would not pick him up. He got so mad at me that he started ramming his whole little body into a door to show me how mad he was! He cried endlessly for over an hour even when I held him.

My son’s endless tantrum throwing caused me to be late to the bus stop to pick up my daughter and I got a call to come pick her up at the school. My MIL went to get her but was late and that made us late for my daughter’s eye appointment. Then the eye appointment dragged on and on well into dinner time. Turns out she needed reading glasses (WTF?) so we went to get some for her at Wal-Mart and so did not eat until well after 6pm.

This delay of dinner time was the last straw. I guess my body just is not adapting as well to the changes imposed upon it. I will have to plan better in the future!

BTW, it’s Normal

It is normal for one’s metabolism to increase significantly when they start a weight lifting routine like I did. In two weeks I have lost 4 pounds despite increasing my caloric intake from 1600/day to 2100/day. I am now going to have to increase my calories to 2300/day. This is very hard for me to do and I actually gag on food because I get so tired of eating it. Hopefully my metabolism levels out soon!

Yet I suspect that all this physical change mixed with the spiritual changes I have been experiencing is the cause for the significant reaction I had yesterday to an otherwise “normal” workout. I was told a while back to lay off the intense weight lifting and I did at that time and felt recently it was okay to resume. I still feel it is, however, I think more needs to be done to make the transition less bumpy.

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Rewired

The 180 degree shift in perspective I experienced on the 1st was brief. It barely lasted 24 hours. The day after was difficult with me falling back into pessimism and doubt. It didn’t help that I stupidly drank some wine so I ended up with only 5 hours total sleep.

Events from Yesterday

It actually started the night before last when my husband got mad at me because I wanted to be alone and he didn’t. He saw this as me “rejecting” him and went into a “tantrum” of sorts. The last thing he said to me was that he thought maybe we should consider “other” options for our marriage. These kinds of phrases are becoming more and more his weapon against me and I should have known it was nothing other than hot air, but it bothered me nonetheless. This, along with the one glass of wine I drank kept me up until 1am.

The next morning I awoke grumpy and went to work without incident. The day went fine but I could not shake the unease caused by my husband’s words the night before. I spent the day thinking about my life and what I wanted to keep and what I didn’t want to keep. Sadly, I was ready to throw it all to the wind and this bothered me immensely. Where was my heart in all this? Non-existent it seemed. Note: Apparently Venus retrograde invites reflection upon relationships to determine if they should stay or go but to hold off on the decision until after it goes direct. Venus goes direct on the 8th but I do not plan to make any changes.

When I got home it was like chaos had hit with a vengeance. My mother-in-law watches my two youngest during the day. She had been instructed to not let them upstairs unattended, but apparently she forgot and I discovered a pair of my eyeglasses had been twisted backward. Thankfully they were the old pair but my new, $400 pair was missing. I went searching and found them safe and sound but covered in little fingerprints.

What was really crazy is that my MIL had done damage all on her own. She had gotten a spoon stuck in the garbage disposal and somehow flushed one of my baby’s shirts down the toilet!

My remedy to this awful mess at home was to lock myself in my bedroom and do 35 minutes of heart-centered yoga. Ahhh!

Rewired

I went to bed wanting the day to disappear and asking questions of my Companion about the purpose of all this and how to fix it all. He responded, but I don’t recall now what he said (this seems to be the pattern these days). I meditated myself to sleep and had more strange dreams.

In one dream I was depositing a $5,200 something check. In another I went to an airport and found a black and white cat in a bag on the elevator. Then I was discussing going on a trip to the Caribbean but I could not take my “boss” with me. At this point I suffered extreme sadness and loneliness as I was told that this trip was a solo trip.

When I awoke I felt somber and asked why I had been told, “We will bring you Home” only to have not have this happen. I was told that Home was within me and that I had misunderstood the message. This, of course, only made me more depressed. It was explained to me that I was being “rewired” but at the same time I heard “retrial”. I felt them to be one in the same.

Strange Memories Resurfacing and Evaporating

Finally, I have strange past-life memories resurfacing at odd times. Mostly, I do not remember them after I have them resurface. It is like they are rising up out of me like smoke, disappearing as they escape. Sometime I can regain the memory, but this is unusual.

One such memory of remembering returned to me while driving. I suddenly remembered waking up one night and remembering suddenly that I had once murdered my own child by drowning him. The memory was not as vivid as the extreme guilt that came with it and I thought to myself, “I should be punished”. With this thought came my Companion’s words, “Haven’t you been punished enough?” and I recalled the life before this one where my own father had drowned me when I was only a child. With this memory came the realization that I have been holding onto the belief that I deserve to be miserable for what I did and that I have been punishing myself ever since. With this belief came also the belief that I was not a good parent. I saw the Karmic cycle and at first thought the child I had drowned had drown me in a later life. I knew this was not the case as it was the actual emotional loss that was cycling, not the relationship. Karma is not revenge, it is a self-inflicted purging.

This all occurred in mere seconds. The words of my guide seemed to help evaporate the feelings that arose within me and I fell asleep quite quickly upon their erasure, the memory of it gone as quickly as it arrives. Yet, it returned to me the next day only to again be lost. I only remembered it yet again when I began to fall asleep that night.

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Thank Heavens for September!

I don’t know about you, but the last few days have been heavy ones for me. The energy seemed stifled and often I felt trapped in a corner without knowing why. Strangely, I was able to remain pretty calm despite this. I could observe the storm brewing deep inside me and I let it brew but kept it from escaping – for the most part.

Then last night, at about 8pm CST, the storm was gone. The energy of it vanished and I felt myself rise up to a higher vibration almost instantly. It was a night and day experience. For the first time in a while my spirits were lifted and my pessimism replaced with a strange optimism. Since I was tired and preparing for bed, I didn’t try to analyze what happened, I just meditated myself to sleep.

I awoke 2 hours later quite suddenly. I saw that the clock said 10:40pm. “That can’t be right”, I thought. So I checked the clock in the hall. Hmm. It really was 10:40pm.

Exchange

Then next time I awoke it was from a dream in which I was discussing an affair I had with Tom Cruise (really not my type). I awoke in the midst of a strong energy rising through my lower three chakras. It had a strong sexual pull with it but was also quite distinctly something else. The energy, unfortunately, hit my second and third chakras in a painful twisted way, but was not so painful as to make me want the energy to stop rising upward.

I let the energy linger for some time but sent a questioning thought to my Companion. The reply was simply, “Exchange” and I knew that the old energy in these chakras was being exchanged for new energy. In my mind a longer explanation came to me suddenly. This exchange had already occurred in the upper chakras and “pain” from this exchange was simply the new energy breaking through old blockages.

Still very optimistic, I let my Companion know that I would be happy to have more similar experiences. The energy was pleasant and persuasive. I could feel the hope and optimism created by the 2nd chakra and willed it to expand. I have missed it!

Peaceful Optimism

After the exchange experience, I fell into a deep sleep and vivid dreams. Every time I would wake up, I felt to have been asleep for many more hours than I had. There was also a strange, heavy energy settled over my head similar to the energy helmet I am use to. My third eye chakra was also active.

The peaceful, optimistic feeling is still with me. Life no longer seems grueling and difficult like it has felt most of August. Relief came with September and I am truly grateful I persevered to this point.

Note: I began taking Maca root yesterday afternoon. Since this is my first experience taking it, I am not sure if it is the cause of this change in mood or if it is indeed an energy shift. It is likely both, but if it is the Maca then it is my new best friend. 🙂

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OBE: Goddess of the Night

I took a melatonin to ensure I got a good night’s sleep, and I did.

I awoke sometime in the middle of the night to my youngest screaming. My husband tended to him but I could not go back to sleep right away. I requested to astral and positioned myself on my back to prepare.

OBE: Goddess of the Night

I entered a brief dream in which I was a teacher in a classroom. I recall seeing the student desks lined up and looking at the class roster. The pages of all the classes had five to seven names and dates lined up in chart format. However, there was no accounting for attendance. A student was telling me she had been absent but I had no memory of her being gone and since I had not taken attendance I could only guess when she had been present in my class. There was a moment where I was thinking about how to fix the issue, briefly recalling that the attendance clerk often sent in discrepancies to teachers. I figured this was the solution and went back to my desk.

At my desk my awareness suddenly came on all at once. I became aware of being in my body and felt subtle vibrations as I exited. I did not feel the exit was purposeful yet at the same time it obviously was. There was a feeling of being along for the ride here along with a sense of anticipation.

The moment I exited my body I turned to look back at the desk I had just been sitting at. The classroom environment surrounded me but was shifty and there was brief awareness that that my dream was dematerializing. There was also the familiar golden hue and it also seemed to move. All in all it was as if I were looking through eye glasses that distorted the image.

Hoping to see my body I focused upon the desk but found that it was not there. Instead I saw very clearly my bed with the covers down. There was no body in the bed, however, and looking at the bed caused me to feel pulled toward my physical body. I felt my vision darken and knew to move away from the bed as quickly as possible. As i moved away I saw the bed amid the classroom and it looked very peculiar.

At this point I lifted up into the air and went directly to the window behind the teacher’s desk. The window was very vivid and solid, unlike the rest of the scene. I pushed against it, testing to see if I could go through it. It would not budge so I quickly opened it and pushed through the screen to get outside.

Through the window, I lifted up into the night sky. Immediately I began to sing loudly, “I am the Goddess of the night”. I repeated this phrase in song over and over as I explored my environment.

It was very dark outside except for what seemed to be very bright, white lights. I knew I had just left a school building so I figured I must be in a parking lot and the light was just the parking lot lights. The air was crisp and it was raining. I cold feel tiny, pinpricks of cold as the rain hit my skin and wondered if it was in fact sleet and not rain.

In the distance I could see the highway but the white lights distorted my vision and I could not focus on much past arm’s length from my body. In my memory now all I recall is blackness dotted with extremely bright, white light and the sensation of the tiny, pinpricks of cold hitting my skin on my arms and face.

Still singing, I attempted to move toward the left but my thoughts interrupted the singing. I had the idea hit me of being left outside in the cold with only a short sleeved shirt and shorts. I saw myself curled upon on the side walk as the sleet pelted me all over, soaking me and causing me to shiver intensely. This thought pulled me back into my body quite fast. Upon re-entry I felt a knot in my midsection and curled up in a ball in pain. The pain felt very much like IBS and it would not subside.

I went to the bathroom hoping that getting up would help the pain, but when I laid back down it returned. I asked for healing and felt it come as soon as I asked along with a gentle all-over body energetic hug from my guide. I fell asleep soon after, not again exiting my body.

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Supermoon Energy: Dreams and a Familiar

My sleep last night was fitful and less than restful. It could be the result of an intense 1.25 hour workout with a physical trainer yesterday afternoon or it could be that the energies of last night’s supermoon were to blame. Regardless, I was waking frequently and feeling wide awake despite my physical body’s extreme fatigue.

Dreams

I don’t recall my dreams in much detail and the one I do are strange and make little sense. In one my family bought a new house for $375,000. It was tall, wooden and built on stilts. Below it was a pond that stretched from one side to the other. The pond was probably the most vivid part of the dream. There were reeds along its banks and the water was dark as if it held many mysteries. I felt quite happy to see it and remember thinking, “I always wanted a house with a pond”.

There was another dream in which I was inside a place feeling as if I had just materialized there out of thin air. I felt disoriented at first as I took in my surroundings. There was a feeling of being at a gym, but it did not seem like one at all but more like a waiting area. I was introduced to a couple of women but one seemed like a man and I stared at her for a while trying to figure out if she was a man or a woman. I finally decided she was a man-woman.

Finally, I had another dream of water. In this one, it was raining quite hard and I was in a very nice house with tall glass windows that looked out upon a white patio that stretched for quite a distance. Three neighborhood boys knocked on the door asking to swim. They were holding books in their hands and I asked them if they had permission. They said yes, so I told them they could swim in the Jacuzzi. They went out in the rain to swim and later came back but had left their books. I went to retrieve them complaining of how they ruined them.

When I awoke I felt very disconcerted. It seemed something was very wrong and I felt the coyote I had seen the previous day was proof that I was being tricked. I thought the strange feeling that an energy shift was coming must have been a lie and coyote was there to laugh at me for believing it. I felt duped.

Visions and Messages

I managed to fall back into the in-between. While there, I often slipped into the dream state and then would come back to the in-between. I did this one and off for some time, the dreams often lost as soon as I became lucid.

In one of the in-between lucid moments I was shown a bedroom. It was very obviously a child’s bedroom; a little boy’s. When I saw it, I recognized it as mine and looked at how neat and tidy it was. I also noted that the items and furniture were very expensive and there was way more than any little boy could ever hope to have.

I remember as I recognized it as mine that I said, “That was 1966”. This brought me to full awareness as I tried to rationalize the year. When I awoke I did the math. The life-before-last I died in 1963. The life after that I was a boy and recalled dying in 1972 at around the age of 6 or 7. That would mean that if the room I saw from 1966 was mine, that it would have been mine when I was very, very young. I wondered briefly why I was being shown my old bedroom. Perhaps I was very rich in that life? I don’t remember.

I fell back into the in-between and was talking with someone during this time. I don’t now recall all of the conversation but as I began to awaken fully I heard someone tell me, “…..you have an honored familiar”. I instantly recognized the word familiar and wondered what it was was.

You Have a Familiar

Though I don’t remember everything that occurred during the in-between, I do remember that the conversation that started all the above came out of me telling my Higher Self that I did not want to stay in life and asking him why he insisted that I/we stay. He, of course, answered, “You have a lot of work to do”. I was/am tired of hearing this and asked, “Why does it matter what work I do? Is the human race so important? What difference does it make what I do while I am here?”

It is perhaps from this conversation that the messages came. Maybe I was given the message that I had a familiar so that I would know help is on its way. For what exactly, I am unsure. Whether I will meet this helper, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I believe in familiars.

by

Something’s Up

Perhaps it is the solar flare activity again or maybe there is another influx of ascension energy (or maybe the two are one in the same?), but I can sense a shift about to take place.

It is hard to put my finger on the exact feeling, so it is hard to describe how it feels. What I will say about the feeling is that it is similar to being put on alert when there is an approaching storm; like a tornado warning. It is not all doom and gloom but more like there is a possibility that something will affect me and my immediate surroundings.

I am, of course, taking it all in stride. There is no immediate threat to me, if threat is even the right word. Like in a tornado warning, I am not concerned. We get them (tornado warnings) all the time in Texas and very rarely does it result in anything other than a thunderstorm. Similarly, I have been through many, many energetic shifts on this path of ascension and so I am use to nothing much happening.

Last night was when the shift in energy became most noticeable. I was watching T.V. and my attention was drawn away from the screen to my Higher Self and that was when the alert feeling occurred. Later, I did 55 minutes of Hatha Yoga and felt my head begin to buzz with energy. This was soon followed by my third eye. The energy then snaked down to my throat area and settled about where my thyroid is located. I became so relaxed during this meditation break that when the woman’s voice returned my entire body twitched because I had forgotten I was doing a video.

When I settled down to sleep I again felt the alert feeling and thought perhaps I would have one of my interesting and somewhat intense nightly excursions OOB. But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, I slept very deeply and had many dreams, one in which I met up with my ex-husband and then watched as streamers of light shot off into the starry sky over an ocean of blue dotted with tropical islands.

When I awoke the song A Rush of Blood to the Head was going through my head as was the song, Come Home. The latter was just the part of the song that says, “So, come home” and the former the part, “And they call as they beckon you on, They said, Start as you mean to go on”.

The feeling is still here today. It is something I just can’t quite put my finger on. So I stay on alert to whatever is coming.