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Balance is Key

“I won’t do this alone. We are partners in this”.

That is what my guide/Higher Self said to me early this morning.

I had just awakened from a dream in which I was sitting in a booth next to an elderly African American man. I recall him very clearly, both the way he looked and the way he felt. He had kind eyes. The kind of eyes with wrinkles etched deeply around them in an arc from years of smiling. He had patches of gray in his nappy hair and age spots dotted his face. He had a face that likened him to Morgan Freeman, though he was much older.

His energy was soft and calming, filled with love and a deep understanding of me that I cannot remember feeling in this life before. There was a timelessness about him, as if he were ancient beyond understanding and I felt very honored to be in his presence.

He reached over and gingerly took my hand in his. There were no words spoken yet I knew this man was asking me to come be with him. Recognizing this I agonized over the choice. I badly wanted to be with him yet my mind kept going back to my current husband. For some reason I felt that the choice required that I leave my husband behind and my loyalty to him was/is fierce. My family is very important to me and I felt overwhelmed by the choice I felt I was being asked to make.

We sat together like this for some time. I continued to battle from within while he sat with me, holding my hand and surrounding me with acceptance and love. It was obvious to me that I would choose him and the fear of losing all I have was overpowering. Each time I would panic he would send a wave of love toward me. I felt it rise up from my root chakra. It moved upward along the back of my spine. I felt it rise all the way up between my shoulder blades. It was tingly and nice but I resisted it, worried again about betraying my husband. At the same time I desperately wanted to let the energy find my heart and anticipated the amazing feeling that would accompany it. Yet I could not let it reach my heart, not yet.

I awoke to the energy spiraling up my spine. I was laying on my back and my guide/Higher Self was all around me. I knew instantly the elderly man in my dream had been him. I was overcome with emotion at this and there was finally an understanding of just how beautiful I am. An understanding the he was me and I was him and that he would be patient and loving through the process. He would not rush me and he would not force me into anything I did not want or was not ready for. And that is when he said, “I won’t do this alone. We are partners in this”. And I felt such relief at this statement because I worried that I had no choice; that I was merely along for the ride. It was now obvious to me that I had a say and that when I was reluctant, my Higher Self would hold my hand and gingerly take me through the process of clearing whatever it was that was holding me back.

In response my guide/Higher Self said, “Be kind to yourself” and I remembered the lesson I learned about my inner child. At the memory he asked me to consider the choices ahead. When I began to grow fearful he again reminded me to remember my inner child and to treat her with kindness, patience and love. When I did this I wanted to cry and there was approval felt from my Higher Self.

Wide Awake

It was 3:30am and I could not return to sleep. My mind was very awake and I felt rested and ready for the day. I contemplated just getting up and getting ready for the day but knew my body would tire much too quickly if I did. I asked my guide, “Help me to sleep” and he said, “Lay on your back” and so I did, but I do not really like sleeping on my back. He said, “Your heart is more open this way”. I accepted this. But my mind was full of thoughts and would not quiet. He then said to me, “Listen. Focus on your heart”. And so I did and the thoughts stopped and I felt the energy in my heart surge. This has been happening when I focus on my heart and listen.

I lay there for a while without thought and an odd thing became noticeable to me. At times I would be very aware of my heartbeat. Sometimes it would beat loudly in my ears, racing. Then, almost as soon as it would start, it would fade out and be quiet again. I did not feel it beating in my chest, I just heard it. I was instructed to not focus on it but I couldn’t help but hear it when the beating would intensify. Eventually, though, I must have fallen asleep despite the distraction.

Dreams

My dreams were nothing like the thoughts that had been keeping me awake. They continued the conversation I had been having with my guide/Higher Self. The most vivid one was of me returning to the same university campus I had been in in another recent dream. The university was very grande and ancient looking and I was late for class. Interestingly, I went onto campus in a wheelchair and was the teacher, not the student. I entered my classroom and there was a science lad underway. I knew my first period was off so I questioned the instructor who apologized for using my classroom without prior notice.

I left and headed for my History class. In this class I would be the student. I also knew where the class was held. This is in contrast to my last dream in which I felt lost and could not remember my schedule. I headed to the second floor and the room number 10.

I awoke again, the dream very vivid in my mind and my guide/Higher Self once again felt to be all around me. It was 5:00am and I knew I still had an hour before I needed to get up. Again I was not tired and thought about just getting up but my guide/Higher Self instructed me to stay and to again focus on my heart. I did, the buzzing energy in my heart intensified and information began to pour into me from my Higher Self.

PendulumRound Two

Through this communication I recognized that during this phase in my merging that I was working from the root chakra upward while in the first phase (the one that started in 2003) I had been working from the crown down. I saw this process occurring and being helped along by guides and assistants. This made sense to me as when I first became aware of my guides and spiritual gifts it seemed to come all at once and I seemed ill prepared to handle the responsibility of it. I spent most of my time very ungrounded. This was only intensified by my denial of my physical life and responsibilities.

Rather than view this merging process as something planned and enacted by some higher power than myself, I began to see it as a process being played out between the part of me who Forgets and the part who Remembers. The part who Remembers is the teacher and the part who Forgets is the pupil. As the teacher, the part of me who Remembers must adjust the lessons and the process based upon the response of the pupil. If the pupil cannot handle one method, then another one is employed. And another, and another, and so on and so forth until the pupil is responsive.

During round one, though I was responsive in the beginning, the process was overwhelming and I hadn’t gained enough life experience to handle it properly. It was then determined, by us both, that a delay was needed and a new method was employed for this second phase.

So here I am, slowly moving through this round and finding it much easier and less chaotic than the first. I recognize that it is because I have matured and gained in experience. Specifically, the experiences I have had of motherhood were/are necessary.  Without them I would not have the compassion for myself that is needed to progress. I also have the lessons learned from the previous round and the Ego has grown weaker as a result.

Balance is Key

I now understand just how important it is to remained balanced through this process. In the first phase I immersed myself in the spiritual and denied the physical to the point that I became very out of balance. A result was near insanity and complete misery as I fell into a deep depression. I remember the discussion I had with my guide/Higher Self at the time I was losing touch with physical reality. I saw in my mind a pendulum and recognized that I had only allowed it to swing to one side, the spiritual. I was told it was time to let the pendulum swing the other way. Eventually, I saw that the pendulum would swing both directions, maintaining a balance between both worlds. But first I had to live the other extreme which denied the spiritual. I did this for nearly five years.

Now I am being asked to reintegrate the spiritual and find balance. It comes with the same feeling of trepidation that came with the end of the last phase. This time, though, I feel more prepared. My view of my guide/Higher Self is shifting noticeably. Rather than feeling intimidated like a schoolgirl entering the principal’s office when he speaks to me, I feel honor and reverence in his presence. I am beginning to identify him as me.

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From OBE to Life

Today, after struggling horribly this morning with a most unsettling energy that made me shiver all over from the intensity of it, I followed the advice of my guide and left the house and the computer behind. While in my car the energy was hitting my head and my whole body was near convulsions as I tried to drive. I hit a stop light and had to calm myself as the thought hit me that I may pass out. I even began to sense the darkness entering my vision from the sides. I remembered to breathe and focus on my heart and by the time I reached my destination I was feeling better.

I spent the entire day out and about, most of it outside. I even took a walk with my husband and went to the playground with my children. As the day progressed I found myself noticing people that I normally would not notice. There was a man in the grocery store having a conversation on a cell phone. I couldn’t help but overhear what he was saying. He was from out of town and had no money, his debit card was broken and he could not reach his sister to get help. I passed him several times and wanted to stop and ask him, “How can I help?” There was an urge to do this but I resisted, thinking, “What if he is lying?” or “He will find help”. I did not end up talking to him and left the store without seeing him again. I now wish I had at least tried to help him.

Later, as I was stopped at a stop light, I saw a man with a sign asking for money. This is common where I live and I normally don’t take much notice. Yet for some reason I kept thinking, “I could give him some money” and wanted to. The more I looked at him, the more I tuned into his energy and felt compassion for him. I knew he was not normally one to ask for handouts.

The light changed and my chance was lost but the feeling of compassion remained.

On my way home I saw more homeless on the other corner. I felt bad for them as well and wondered about them. I even imagined yelling out to them from across the busy road but then decided against it for fear one would put themselves in harms way. Also, their energy was more muddled than the man I saw previously and I knew they would not appreciate my help.

homelessNudges

I did not have time to really contemplate much of anything all day, yet little tidbits of information did not wholly go unnoticed. I kept returning to my computer feeling I should write at least something of my experiences but the urge was never there. My mind was totally blank.

I decided to do some yoga and relax some and then again sat at the computer. I kept reading and re-reading the other post I wrote today as if I trying to not forget it. In the midst of reading over another one of my posts from earlier this year a thought hit me, a memory of a cognition I had earlier in the day. I thought, “I need to write about that”.

And here I am, writing and my mind is not clouded or muddled.

This morning after I got the message to leave (and I felt it urgently), I was preparing to leave the house. I felt hungry and instantly knew I needed to eat and felt led to the fridge to make myself a protein smoothie. I remember feeling consciously pushed in this direction and I did not resist.

This same nudging continued throughout the day. I called my husband out of the blue (nudge, nudge) and invited him for lunch. I told him I wanted to talk to him about what was going on with me. I remember thinking to myself, “I do?”

When we sat down, I had no idea what I wanted to say. We sat outside (which is out of character for me) and I listened to him, completely without any other thought than to hear what he had to say. When he finished I effortlessly told him what I wanted to tell him. It came out so well, without a glitch and I said something very out of character. My husband, of course, was pleased and I was speechless. When he asked me about it I told him, “I came here not knowing what I would say and then I just said all that”.

It was not that I didn’t want to say what I said. I did. What is odd here is that, normally, I have trouble hearing my husband as he talks about his work which is very boring to me. This time I was thinking of nothing but what he said. I had not one moment of anxiety caused by thinking ahead.

And I recognized that I spent the entire day –  in the moment!

Later, a thought hit me out of the blue and I nearly forgot about it except that it came back to me, as if I had put all this day’s events together somehow without consciously thinking about it.

I realized that these urges I have been receiving, I have gotten over and over again while OOB. Sometimes I go with the “suggestions” and other times I don’t. What has been occurring most recently in my OBEs is that when I do not follow the suggestions I pop back into my body. I lose that which I most want – to be OOB – because I do not listen.

And that is when it hit me: Perhaps that is what has been going on my entire life. I have not been listening and have missed that which I really wanted, to be happy and at peace, because I didn’t listen.

I know it seems small to those of you who consistently listen to your Higher Self, but to me this is HUGE. I am stubborn and I do not like to feel “controlled”. I have been getting messages for as long as I can remember from my guide to “listen”. I never really understood until today.

I listened (for the most part anyway) and my day was good. Pleasant. Positive. Balanced. I was more in the moment than I have ever been. My mind was not a mess of thoughts.

So there is a positive to all this kundalini and based just upon today I can’t wait to see what other positives come of it. And I hear my guide say to me, “Imagine that every day was like today and that is what you will have tenfold”.

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New Direction

Since my experience on the 12th I have been processing the changes that resulted. I cannot put into words what happened/is happening. It is just a process that has a definite end result. The in-between period, the time of reorganization, has begun. How long it will last, I do not know for sure, but I do know that it will last as long as it takes for me to come back into balance.

Too Many Thoughts

I find my thoughts being pulled in many different directions. I am struggling to find time to direct those thoughts and I want badly to do so because they are not going away. I feel drawn more than ever to put my thoughts into words but when I try to organize them in a presentable way, I cannot. For me, this is a conundrum. I am, by nature, very good at organizing my thoughts into easily understandable sentences and paragraphs that flow together in a easy-to-read fashion. This comes from years of schooling and essay writing. Yet I feel split into so many different directions, the ideas piling up on top of one another and threatening to overwhelm me.

I am near tears writing this because I cannot seem to get myself to focus on any one thing for very long. When I try I feel like my head is going to explode in frustration as I struggle to form my thoughts. What is happening to me!?

I see this as an energy adjustment from head to toe with each layer of my aura being affected. There is white light radiating downward and all kinds of colors intermingled, the most prominent of these colors is blue, lavender, pink, and fuchsia. I am not sure how kundalini usually works or if there is a “usual” way, but from what I am shown, my kundalini is coming into my center from both directions, above and below. I am told this disrupts more than just my energy. I guess my thoughts are being affected as well?

This in effect is the “rewiring” I have seen so often written about online and in channeled messages and such. I finally understand it. I am being told to be patient with myself and being reassured that the thoughts and ideas I am trying to get a handle on will not “disappear” but will be available to me at the time they are meant to be shared.

Symptoms

And so I give up on trying to control this as it is obvious I am to become a passenger in this car down the road to awakening. I am a horrible backseat driver (ask my poor husband) so this will be a challenge. However, if my Higher Self is anything like me, he/she will not be one to give in to my complaints and whining. Thankfully I have a feeling he/she is much more compassionate and understanding than I typically am.

I am being urged to present my symptoms to you all and since these thoughts are the ones that are easily accessible and clear in my mind, I will submit to them and the guidance of my Higher Self.

  • Headache the comes and goes
  • Lower back pain
  • Increased thirst
  • Increased hunger
  • Increased energy fluctuations
  • Sweating
  • Sporadic energy “bursts” from heart, third chakra and head
  • Sporadic “lightening” bolts of energy from bottom and top of body
  • Increased desire to lay on my stomach when sleeping
  • Inability to sleep with another person (going on for 2 years now)
  • High energy
  • Periods of deep, dreamless sleep
  • Increased instances of OBEs, visions and other phenomenon
  • Vision fluctuations
  • Increased perceptivity
  • Sensitivity to food, drugs, alcohol
  • Disorganized thoughts; confusion
  • Spontaneous instances of physical body detoxification which results in illness, digestive changes, metabolism fluctuations
  • Sudden mood swings

_74219715_changeNew Direction

And again the word “conundrum” comes into my mind. This word is not a usual one for me which brings me to suspect that part of the changes occurring is a rewiring of my brain. It means, “A confusing or difficult problem or situation”. And I had to look it up because, well, I am a mommy now not a college student. Anyway, it is so very perfect a word to describe my situation. It is confusing! But this is a confusion beyond anything I have ever experienced. If I weren’t sure this is the direct result of my spiritual awakening/ascension I would surely be considering seeking professional help!

And I remember I have been here before. Years ago during my first attempt at this transformation (the one I stopped), I recall feeling similarly and it causing me to be certain I was very much indeed going insane. I was so thoroughly convinced of this fact that I went to a psychiatrist who promptly diagnosed me as Bipolar II. Ha! I even took the nasty little anti-psychotic drug she prescribed. I only lasted four days on it because I knew it was NOT right and I was NOT crazy. In actuality, the drug was making me feel crazier! Anyway, I have been here before and I am being guided/told “the only way out is through”.

This new direction, this uncharted territory, is what I am afraid of. I can feel the fear in my third chakra as it rises in me at the very thought of allowing my Higher Self to take charge. I am being asked to step back. Me. The one who has been in control (or the illusion thereof) of this body, mind and life for 38 years! How dare he/she! Yet I am so not resistant, believe-it-or-not. I am ready for this. But I am afraid. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid that I will go crazy. Afraid that I will get lost somewhere in the confusion of my thoughts and never find my way back.

This new direction is literally to give over access of my thoughts to my Higher Self. So far I am understanding this to mean that whenever I am faced with the feeling of confusion that rises in intensity whenever I focus on the many thoughts floating haphazardly through my mind, I am to immediately focus upon my heart and be still. When I do this, the confusion dissipates and there is calm. And when I do this a thought stream appears that is coherent and clearly separate.

As I try to process this I feel the fear rising and I suppress it, swallowing hard. I want to freak out and think, think, think it to death, but I can’t. It is like someone has put a tourniquet on my mind. The only thought that comes through is to focus on my heart, listen and trust. When I do that, my head and heart both buzz with energy. My head almost feels as if I will pass out the energy is so intense.

And I have an urge to get out. Out of the house and outside. Live life. Focus on life, even if it is boring and mundane. This is where I will find balance. And I need that right now.

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Easing the Symptoms of Ascension – Part 4

The final way to diminish the symptoms of ascension is to live through the heart, not the mind.

Living through the Heart

Ultimately, ascension, when complete, results in the individual living from their heart. But, in the interim, one must practice living through the heart in order to avoid living through the mind. The more one follows their heart, or how a situation or decision feels, the less overwhelming their ascension symptoms. Living through the heart may seem simple, but for most it is not. It involves listening to your Higher Self, which is not always easy, especially when in the midst of life’s chaotic rhythm.

Meditation

One can become more in tune with their heart via meditation. A simple meditation focused upon the heart center is all that is needed. There are many guided healing meditations to be found on the internet that focus upon the heart center. I suggest doing one of these daily but if you cannot then at least once a week. It only takes a few minutes and can make a load of difference.

If you are unsure which heart mediation to do, I suggest the Opening the Heart Guided Meditation at Mediation Oasis. They have a podcast free to download and I have used this meditation many times. It is 27 minutes long, so make sure you have at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted alone time.

Intuition

Messages from the Higher Self simply put are intuition. They are the gut feelings that tell you to think twice about a decision or situation. They are the feelings of dread that hit you for no reason. They are the feelings of love that pour through you for no reason. In a nutshell, these messages are intuitive, they are feelings.

Whenever you are making a decision that is difficult and you don’t know what to do, listen to your heart. Focus on how making the decision makes you feel. For example, if you are struggling to decide whether you should stay at your current job or leave it you can focus on how each decision makes your feel when you think about it. If leaving your current job gives you the same feeling as staying then it likely means wait. If one gives you a sinking feeling then that one is likely the one you should not do.

Living through the heart is not by any means easy, but it does get easier with practice. I will not say that I am an expert at it but I am getting better. What is great about ascension is that when it is over, living through the heart will be second nature.

Final Thoughts

You now know the ways you can effectively diminish your uncomfortable ascension symptoms:

1. Ground properly and consistently.
2. Avoid contact with overly emotional, negative or otherwise unbalanced individuals.
3. Live through the heart, not the mind.
If you make these three things a habit in your daily life, then you may be able to come through the ascension process feeling a little worn and a bit ragged, but none the worse for your travels. If you find that you are struggling despite doing these three things then I suggest you increase the time you spend doing these three things. It could be that you need a little bit more grounding, a little less contact with unfamiliar people and a little more focus upon your heart. Whatever happens, don’t cut yourself off completely from your loved ones and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes even the strong get weak and need a helping hand.

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Earth, Fire, Air and Water

I can’t sleep and feel I need to write this so here I go.

The 12/12 “activation” or portal or whatever it is called is real. At least for me, anyway.

There are no words to really describe what is happening to me as I type this. I am still not sure even what is happening but I know it is good. I also know that what my guide told me is true: I cannot stop it.

Earth, Fire, Air and Water

In my dream I was speaking with others, several others, at least four. I don’t recall the conversation now, but I remember some parts of it. 1. I was voicing my concern about not knowing how to handle an energy exchange that was going on, at least it feels like we were discussing energy. 2. The energy exchange had to do with the elements. 3. Others were helping and the message was that I needed to communicate with the elements of this energy.

What I recall most vividly is talking to an “element” who was very obviously masculine, yet at the same time I did not feel particularly feminine. I could see the communication in my mind, typed out. When I responded it was also typed out. This went on for some time within a “void”. It was as if I were floating in this void but I do not recall feeling as if I were floating. The words elude me now, but I do remember reaching out to this masculine energy and speaking to him about the elements. I believe, though I don’t remember exactly, that I was trying to blend “water” with “fire” but then “earth” was also discussed so I am at a loss as to which element exactly I was portraying and which one the masculine presence was portraying.

When it was decided that I would go through with whatever I was doing (energy work?) I felt myself very much to be laying down with my back to this masculine energy. I felt him/it (the energy) gingerly reach out to me and wrap around me from behind. It was like a hug, but nothing like any hug I have ever known. What is very important here is that this energy was patient, understanding and deeply connected to me. He was approaching me tentatively and with such care that I felt completely and utterly open and trusting towards him. I surrendered to him and the energy intensified, filling me to my core and exploding out my midsection.

I awoke in this energy very rigid, my body feeling contorted and stiff as the energy seemed to skewer me at an angle. It entered from below my root and shot up through my center. It did not hurt but it was odd and I could not get a grasp on my feelings. In fact, I had such odd feelings that I do not know how to describe them except to say that they were muted and confused. I felt I should cry, but I had no tears and no welling up of emotion. I felt I should cry out in ecstasy, but there was no ecstasy to be felt. My mind was awake but I could not think. It was like I was frozen.

My guide was near and he seemed to be the source of this odd calm or frozen emotional feeling I was having. The gentleness with which he handled me is beyond words. I tried to understand what was going on, but all he would say was, “You are changing”. I understood this to be true but I didn’t know why, or how.

I focused on the energy because it was still very much alive within me. It felt to me to be writhing and moving around in a zigzag or winding pattern. It moved upward and I held my breath anticipating it hitting my heart chakra, but it never did. My guide said, “It is fear”, but I felt no fear. How can you have fear but not feel it??

I then became very uncomfortably aware that I needed to pee. I also felt my upper back arching and I could not relax it. My head began to throb dully and I could feel my higher chakras shooting energy upward, but like all of the energy, it was gentle and no emotion came of it. I literally felt like my body was a channel of energy and I was just its confused, observing participant.

I eventually got up and the energy continued. After I used the restroom and satiated my thirst I became horribly hungry. I tried to return to sleep but had to eat. So I went down to eat.

Knowing

I checked the time and it was 12:50am. I had been awake for some time and suspected the beginning of this event occurred right after midnight. On 12/12. 12/12/14. I guess the message was true. But what of the veil that was to lift? I didn’t/don’t understand the message’s significance. Yet.

I attempted to sleep but so many questions flooded my mind (along with the energy that even now is lingering). My guide asked me to answer them from within and I suddenly knew the answers and the calm in the knowingness with them is beyond words.

I knew/was told my path, my purpose on Earth, was soon to be revealed to me. I knew it involved helping others who were both here and those that were not yet here. It is hard to put into words what I knew./know but it is as if my job is to be a channel between worlds, a conduit allowing consciousness to flow unhindered in both directions. If I could draw a picture it would be of me, my body, floating as if laying sideways on my side, with energy coursing through me. The energy has no exit and no entrance, it just is. Like a lightening bolt, it shoots through my center and pours out of me in all directions. I am immobilized and my body is not mine, it is a tool I use to do my work.

I am aware of much above, behind and all around me. It is consciousness and it is ever expansive. I feel those who are that consciousness, waiting. They are all one now, but will not remain that way. They are waiting. They are waiting. They are waiting. It keeps repeating and it makes me want to burst out in tears that are filled with every emotion imaginable.

And I still hear my guide say, “You are afraid”, and I understand. I am afraid but it is of something I do not quite understand yet. It is immense and I feel the burden of it, but I cannot express the feeling. It sits in my core and the energy fills it and explodes outward.

I don’t think there are words for what is happening. If there were, I for sure would know them.

And I hear my guide, my most beloved, patient, caring, nurturing and loving Higher Self, say, “Yes. It will continue” when I wonder if I will ever fall back to sleep. I know I will, but I have to write this first.

I thought of calling a friend who is likely fast asleep, hundreds of miles away with her family all around her. I do not want to burden her with….what? I do not even know. I call out to her with my soul and I feel connections to others I know but have never met. Some on FB some I have yet to meet. Who are they? I know them but I do not remember them.

Kundalini

It is irrevocable what is happening to me. There is nothing I can do but I am not resistant. I know the energy is best termed “kundalini” and I am now a believer that the serpent resides within me and is coiling, twisting and pushing its way upward to the light above. I am the light and the serpent is reaching toward me. I can feel the energy from above pushing downward as much as I feel the energy below coursing upward. When they meet there will be union and I am almost there. If I could just get past my fear.

My guide tells me, “You are clear”, but I wonder if I am only clear in one chakra as I can feel the blockage in the dullness of the energy shooting out of my second and third chakras. Thankfully it is not painful and I am pleased at that, though I know if I push too hard, rush what is happening, that I could be in agony. Not just a physical agony but a mental one as well.

It is true that this must progress slowly. That the process must not be altered but allowed to go on unhindered. But then again I cannot stop it now can I?

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Dead End

I had a discouraging vision this morning upon waking. I saw very clearly a Dead End sign close up, as if I were standing just a couple of feet away from it. Because of the vision, I struggled to find a happy mood, worried it meant that I was again coming to a standstill in my spiritual development. I decided to exercise and spend time with my children. Thankfully, this brightened my mood and now I am less worried about the vision.

According to dreammoods.com:

To dream that have reached a dead end indicates that you have come to an abrupt end in the pursuit of your goals. You must find another way to achieve your goals because the current path is not working out. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you are going nowhere. Perhaps, the dream is symbolic of a dead end job or a dead end relationship. You need to reevaluate your options.

I had asked a question that I wanted an answer to a couple of nights ago and the more I think about the vision of the dead end sign, the more I think that it is the answer to my question. I will know sooner or later if I am right about that. I hope I am right and that the alternative is not where the dead end is.

foalsTwin Foals

My sleep since last Sunday has been very deep and almost dreamless. I have lots of energy when I go to bed again, yet I am able to fall asleep without incident. Then I sleep almost exactly 8 hours and wake up fully refreshed and unable to return to sleep. I have been a bit disappointed in the mornings because it is the return to sleep that often sends me OOB.

Last night’s dreams were lost to me until just about an hour ago when suddenly a couple came back to me. The first was a dream about my cousin and her horse. In reality, my cousin’s horse died on my birthday this year. He was very old, so it was not unexpected. He was white and his name was Tzar. But in the dream my cousin had died and a new person was moving into her home. I must have been near lucid because I kept questioning my dream characters, telling them my cousin did not die, her horse did, and correcting them. It bothered me to see a stranger moving into my cousin’s home.

Eventually I went to the barn and saw that my cousin’s horse was still alive. This also bothered me and I remember thinking, “Wait, Tzar is dead, not my cousin”. Yet there was the horse standing there looking perfectly alive. Then I saw he had two twin foals with him. They were newborn and running about. I remember questioning this as well because Tzar is male and could not have babies!

To see a foal in one’s dream indicates a new task is at hand and with it comes new energy. The foals had tons of energy and since there were two of them it could mean that I will have double the energy in this new undertaking. The energy part makes sense because I have definitely had more energy than usual.

One Breast

The other dream that came back to me was very odd. In the dream I was at my mother’s house and taking a bath. I don’t remember all the specifics of the dream, but I was undressing and about to climb into the tub when I looked down at my naked body and saw one breast in the center of my chest. I remember thinking it odd and that it looked like an eyeball to me, kinda like a cyclops except with one boob instead of one eye. lol I did not laugh in the dream, though. Instead, I questioned it and remember speaking to someone about it, a woman. I recall remembering that I had a surgery to remove one breast. I don’t know why I had the surgery, though. It seemed like I chose to remove the breast, not that I was ill with breast cancer or anything.

After discussing the surgery, I turned and looked in the mirror and saw first a visual of myself naked with both breasts. Then the visual shifted and there I was with only one. Except this time the one breast was on the left side where it should have been and there was smooth skin on the right. I remember liking the smooth side and a part of me went back to my youth when I had no breasts and wished to be that way again.

Symbolically, I guess it is normal to dream of only having one breast because dreammoods.com says that to dream of one breasts indicates feelings of being undesirable. I do not feel this describes me at all, though, so I wonder if perhaps it has more to do with my heart chakra than my breasts especially since I saw the one breast in the center where the heart chakra would be. I did like the idea of not having breasts, but I have always felt that way. Perhaps I have an issue with being a woman? I can relate to that!

Weird Week

So far this week has been weird for me. Not only has my mood been all over the place but my time at work has been super busy and productive. I have felt more in tune with the people I work with and as a result have helped in my role as counselor more than in previous weeks. Not only that but my help was sought out rather than my seeking people to help. At the end of both of my days at work this week I have been proud of my accomplishments with a positive outlook about the future. This is not abnormal but this much of it in one week is not common for me.

At the end of the days I do not work I also feel I have accomplished quite a bit and the day feels full and complete. Today even, I feel I have accomplished a lot, even though the day has not be much different than any other.

I have been thinking about tomorrow. It is the date I heard in a recent OBE where my guide told me, “The veil will be lifted”. I have concluded that it is likely that the date has no significance other than it being revealed in my OBE. Perhaps something will happen, perhaps not. My worry about the “dead end” message in my vision is that it concerns the 12/12/14 date and that my current path to spiritual enlightenment is inadequate and I must take a new route. Yet perhaps there is no need to worry? Perhaps the dead end is a good sign – a sign telling me “Not this way” so that I know there is  another way and it will be revealed to me soon.

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Easing the Symptoms of Ascension – Part 3

The next way to diminish the symptoms of ascension is to avoid contact with overly emotional, negative or otherwise unbalanced individuals.

Avoid Negative Energy Sources

As one’s aura expands the individual becomes more and more susceptible to the energy of others. Take, for example, the two-foot circular personal space zone that most people have. Anything that encroaches upon the “personal space zone” causes an individual to feel uneasy, uncomfortable and vulnerable. Consider that your two-foot personal space zone is now expanded to be five or six feet. That means anyone within that vicinity will have an impact upon you. Listen because this is important!

Now you are feeling uncomfortable, uneasy and vulnerable when someone enters your 5-6 foot personal space. Since most people commonly enter into this particular zone without hesitation because they are use to the two-foot zone you will find that you are having to deal with the above feelings at ten times the intensity because you have ten times more people entering into your zone!

My guide stresses the importance of taking care in who we allow ourselves to come into close proximity with (that now means 5-6ft away). When another person enters this personal zone an exchange of energy occurs. For most, this exchange is barely perceptible, but to the ascending individual this exchange is like hot coals hitting a calm, cold sea. Sizzling! It can make your nerves feel raw and make you want to run the other way fast. If the person who enters your zone happens to be a very negative or unbalanced individual then they may begin to rub off on you, causing you to spiral out of balance and take on their emotions. Not good.

Of course, we can’t all be permanent hermits but we can avoid unnecessary interactions. There are ways to block the exchange of energy, but until you are fully balanced and able to maintain that balance, protection mechanisms must be put into place. Remaining grounded is one. Another is learning how to control and retract your energy. This simply means that when you “touch” (meaning your energy intermingles with another energy) another person’s energy and you do not like it, mentally imagine a clear bubble around yourself and then retract it closer and closer to you until you no longer feel their energy.

I, personally, have withdrawn and become more and more antisocial in order to adapt to my expanding personal space. I have slowly been reemerging and allowing my energy to blend with more and more people especially people I trust or who I find do not hold negative energy around them. I have learned to send out my energy and “touch” their energy to test it. I have done this mostly subconsciously up to this point but am now becoming more and more aware that I am doing it. Before now, I mostly pulled my own energy close to me and avoided most everyone, even family. However, this is not healthy and can cause its own problems.

It takes practice to be able to control your new, expanding aura/personal space. During this transition you may find that you need more time alone, time to reflect and to grow accustomed to your new energy. It is quite normal to go through antisocial periods but be cautious about just how much time alone you spend. Being alone for too long can be destructive as we are social creatures and need interaction. So when you do interact with others, make sure you interact with those who make you feel energized or whose energy does not cause you to feel uneasy. This also takes practice but if you focus upon how you feel in the company of others you will soon discover who to be around and who not to be around.

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Easing the Symptoms of Ascension – Part 2

In part 1, we discussed the changes that occur with our energy as a result of ascension. To summarize, those who have begun the ascension process are moving from living from their solar plexus to living from their heart. The shift is not all at once. It takes place over time during which new energy channels are formed. All of this change eventually effects the individual and becomes noticeable as symptoms of ascension. These symptoms are often unpleasant and some are even outright scary.

Because of my own struggle with the symptoms of ascension, I asked my guide to help me better handle them. Is there something I could be doing to help ease these irritating, sometimes scary, symptoms? The answer was:

1. Ground properly and consistently.
2. Avoid contact with overly emotional, negative or otherwise unbalanced individuals.
3. Live through the heart, not the mind.

In part 2 I cover grounding, what it is, and the different methods of grounding.

Grounding

Grounding is defined as a practice that connects your energy with that of the Earth’s energy. Being grounded allows you to be present and connected with your physical Self and creates a bridge between your physical and spiritual Self. Grounding also allows you to expel unwanted or excess energy.

During the ascension process, energy in general is shifting, changing direction and expanding. This change causes blockages in the various chakras to become more pronounced as more energy builds up behind blockages. Grounding allows an individuals to dispel excess energy and smooth the flow of energy throughout so that the buildup of energy is reduced, thus reducing the symptoms of the buildup. If not grounded properly, the ascension symptoms one experiences are more pronounced. Additionally, if you are not grounded properly while also resisting or denying the ascension process you create blockages in the lower chakras which restrict energy flow, thus increasing the negative symptoms of ascension.

There are many ways to ground:

1. Meditation
2. Exercise (indoor or outdoor)
3. Crystals
4. Immersion in nature
5. Food

Meditation

A simple meditation where you focus on your own body and energy is enough to ground you. There are many meditation exercises available free on the internet that are specific to grounding. The simplest meditation exercise is to imagine you are growing roots from the bottom of your feet and allowing those roots to stretch deep into the Earth. While doing this, you visualize your branches reaching high into the air and spreading out. Click here for a good grounding meditation.

Exercise

Any physical exercise is grounding. You do not have to run a mile or life heavy weight. Simply taking a stroll outside in nature is enough. Physical movement not only increases circulation, strengthens your heart and lungs and is overall beneficial to your physical body, but it also increases the flow and strength of your auric energy in a similar fashion. Additionally, there is a mental release associated with physical exercises that allows one to function in “the moment”.

For me, physical exercise is moving meditation. I find that I need to stay physically active several days a week to maintain balance. For me, personally, the more rigorous the exercise, the better. As I have gotten older and the strenuous exercise takes more of a toll on my body, I have integrated yoga into my routine.

Crystals

If you like rocks and other minerals, you may find that handling crystals has a grounding effect on you. The best grounding crystals are black tourmaline, jasper, bloodstone, and green aventurine, though there are many crystals that will work. To use crystals to help you ground, simply hold one for a while or carry one in your pocket or purse.

When I had my first awakening, I found that holding crystals was very helpful, especially if I held any type of quartz crystal. I used it so often that I carried one around with me all day long and any time I felt “off” I would hold onto it and imagine its energy coursing through me. It calmed me down and helped me think more clearly. I love my rose quartz!

Immersion in Nature

Immersion in nature is another way to ground. You can immerse yourself in any of the four elements – earth, air, fire and water. The key to immersion is to surround yourself either physically or energetically by Earth’s energy. Some examples of immersion are: taking a hot, mineral bath; taking full, deep breaths of outside air; sitting next to a roaring fire; or walking around barefoot in the dirt and grass. I have known people to even cover themselves in mud in order to feel more grounded.

You can also use essential oils, which are of the Earth, to assist in your grounding. I was introduced to essential oils by a close friend of mine during my last pregnancy. I found myself attracted to certain oils right away and didn’t hesitate when the opportunity arose for me to become a consultant. Later, my friend sent me a book called Emotions & Essential Oils and a whole new method of healing and spiritual growth opened up to me. I began to use essential oils to help clear blockages and heal deep internal issues. I did this by listening to my Higher Self who steered toward the oils I needed. Currently, I have been using essential oils to ground and release fear. I have found Patchouli and Frankincense work best for these goals.

Food

Finally, and often times overlooked, is that you can become more or less grounded depending on the food you eat. When I asked for assistance in helping myself with ascension symptoms, grounding through food was the top area that came up. Over two years ago I was led to begin to eat “clean”. This means I cut nearly all sugar and refined foods out of my diet, increased my protein consumption, and ate more leafy green vegetables. The more pure the food, the more pure the energy the food provides your body with. My guide’s actual words were, “Be mindful of what you put into your body as it effects how your body processes and adapts to Kundalini”. The visual I got was that highly processes foods have defunct energy signatures filled with erratic and broken lines. The more pure and organic a food source, the more pure and unadulterated the energy it provides your body.

If you are interested in clean eating, check out Tosca Reno’s website. She has authored several books and cookbooks on clean eating, I own her Eat Clean Diet Cookbook and have read her Just the Rules book. For me, this diet has helped me immensely with my high anxiety and overall unsettled feeling. Cutting sugar has helped stabilize my mood and increasing my vegetables (I hardly ate any before!) gave me more energy and stamina. Finally, increasing protein and decreasing carbs not only helped ground me but it also decreased my body fat levels while making me feel full for longer periods. So, overall, changing your eating is a win-win all around!

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Easing the Symptoms of Ascension – Part 1

Since my most recent experience on November 30th I am told, “there has been much adjustment to energetic changes”. The “pattern of energy” has shifted and new “channels” have been created to direct this energy. Though I am not really certain what all of this means, I most definitely have noticed the changes which have risen to the surface as a result.

Energetically I am recovering from an illness. A part of me suspects this illness was brought on by the sudden opening of chakras long closed while another part thinks it is all regular viral infection as the rest of my family has had the same virus. Spiritually within the span of less than a week I have had drastic emotional ups and downs. I have felt sad, depressed, lonely, hopeful, energized, fearful, anxious, nervous, and introspective all at different times. The lows lasted about a day as did the highs. Thankfully the fearful part did not last more than an hour or so.

In considering all the physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual changes that I have been experiencing, I became curious about why I was experiencing these changes. Specifically, I wanted to know I there was any way to help ease the symptoms I have been experiencing.

Background

Energetically, there is much change occurring. I had a strong urge to draw what was going on. What I ended up drawing was a picture of the aura and the directional flow of the energy. Though the drawing is rough and not exactly what I envisioned, it is good enough to get the general idea of how energy flow shifts. The size of the paper was not enough to show just how large the aura extends.

visual

Directional flow of the energy of an individual living from the heart center.

The patterns of energy I was shown are depicted by arrows. The heart chakra is intended to be the center of this directional flow. When balanced, an individual will live from the heart and direct energy from this central point. The arrow going up is the energy that composes the spiritual aspects of the individual. It extends all the way up through the 12 chakras and I am told those chakras extend 7 more above that. The arrow going down is the energy of the chakras that connect the spirit to the physical. These chakras are focused upon survival in the physical and sensations and emotions associated with life in the physical. The arrows going to the left and right are the energy of the aura as it expands due to the increase in energy as the spiritual centers open and align. Energy of a fully ascended individual extends many more feet out from their physical body than the energy of someone who has not ascended.

This directional flow is needed to maintain balance. If this balance is maintained, the individual will feel good physical, emotionally and spiritually and their ability to manifest their desires will increase exponentially.

During the ascension process, however, balance is lacking. This is because the individual who has not yet ascended mostly lives energetically through the lower chakras – chakras 1-5. Their center is not via the heart chakra but via either the third, even sometimes the second or first. The aura of an individual living through the solar plexus (third chakra) is much smaller in comparison to an individual living through the heart chakra.

The directional flow of energy of a person living from the solar plexus.

The directional flow of energy of a person living through the solar plexus.

When someone begins to ascend their higher chakras open up. When this happens, the shift in energy must be balanced out. However this process is typically not smooth. Individuals often attempt to control the experience either logically explaining away what is happening to them, refusing to confront individual issues, and maintaining self-induced ignorance that anything at all is happening to them. The very act of doing this causes imbalance to be maintained rather than balance. Also inherent to ascension is clearing limiting beliefs, recalling past lives, and a myriad of other changes. These changes are not usually accepted by the individual and this rejection further exacerbates the problem.

As you can see by comparing the two drawings, when the “shift” occurs, there is a literal shift from the third chakra to the fourth. Individuals living from the third chakra are more focused on living for themselves. Their thinking is linear and focused more on the material and logical than the spiritual. When living from the heart center, the “I am” thinking expands into the “We are” and feelings become dominant over logic. This expansion occurs at all levels of the energy system and there is a ripple effect across all levels and dimensions of the individual. So, in a nutshell, the “shift” occurs all over.

Methods to Diminish Ascension Symptoms

When inquiring about how to diminish my own uncomfortable ascension symptoms, I was given three key things I must do.

1. Ground properly and consistently.
2. Avoid contact with overly emotional, negative or otherwise unbalanced individuals.
3. Live through the heart, not the mind.

I will cover each of these in more detail in separate posts.

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Message in the Trees

This won’t be a long post but I wanted to at least share this with you all because it is so utterly astonishing to me.

Today while I was doing my normal workout at home I noticed an odd, green, circular shape in the back of the room. It appeared to be glowing or maybe a reflection that was being cast onto the window. What also was odd to me is that when I looked closer I clearly saw the number 7 jump out at me from the center of the green circle. I actually stopped what I was doing and went to take a closer look. When I did, I saw it was clearly not a glowing green orb or a reflection but it was a cluster of leaves at the end of one branch of a tree. As you can see in the picture most of the leaves are all gone now being Fall is in full swing. Yet, for some reason, this small bundle of leaves remains.

I was astonished at what I saw and so took the picture in case it went and disappeared on me. It didn’t disappear, it is still there, the number 7 still more obvious to me than the green leaves or the old rusty car in the background.

The number 7 has a meaning. This is what is written on Joanne Sacred Scribes Angel Numbers blog:

The mystical number 7 resonates with the energies of spiritual awakening, accepting and developing spiritual gifts and enlightenment, intuition and inner-knowing, introspection and understanding others, determination and persistence of purpose, good fortune and inner-wisdom.
Angel Number 7 tells of a beneficial time with obstacles overcome and successes realized.  Your angels are happy with your life choices and are telling you that you are currently on the ‘right path’.  You are encouraged to keep up the good work you have been doing as you are successfully serving your soul purpose and life mission and your angels are supporting you all the way.  Positive things will flow freely towards you, and this will assist you along your journey.
Angel Number 7 also suggests that you look to further developing your personal spirituality and encourage others to do the same.
Angel Number 7 encourages you to take up a spiritually-based practice, profession and/or career if you are so inclined.