I’ve been having some trouble getting a solid night’s sleep lately, waking frequently throughout the night and then way too early in the morning. Thankfully, I got a solid night’s sleep last night, but I woke at 5:30am.

I had awakened sobbing from a dream. All I recall now of the dream was warning two people, one was my cousin, not to go walking in a certain place. It was flooded and there were snakes. Their response was to get angry and yell, “We told you to stop telling us that!”. Hurt by their anger, I said, “I was just trying to help.” My heart hurt as I burst into tears.

I tried to clear my thoughts and meditate because my guidance recently told me to take advantage of Dusk and Dawn to set an intention for the day. Unfortunately, my mind was very awake, so it took some time to clear them.

Dream: Asleep on the Job

I was at a gathering at work. We were outside but it looked like inside, so my guess is it was at one of the shops. I was extremely tired. All I wanted to do was sleep. So I found my husband to see if we could go home. He was super talkative and extroverted (like normal) and eventually left me and went off to do something. He left a wad of money in his seat. I grabbed it to keep it safe. I only recall the $100 bill but there was more.

The dream continues with me finding places to sleep, drifting off and then waking myself up with thoughts of things I needed to do. I would even prepare chairs with blankets and pillows to get comfy. lol

In one instance I was “sleeping” and thinking of my “other” job where I worked at a school either as a teacher or counselor or both. I kept thinking I needed to go check-in or I would lose my job. There were memories of the building, the parking lot, even the inside. That time, I woke up and hurried back to the main building to prepare to go to my other job before it got too late.

Inside I passed a line of employees. My husband was there and offered me a plastic square with various pills attached. He said, “Take it.” I said, “I already took my vitamins this morning.” Each employee took their pills and went into a room. I asked what they were doing. He said, “Playing a new game.” In my mind I saw a video game reminiscent of Space Armada.

I bypassed the line and went upstairs, passed an “exit” that also felt like a bathroom and entered the only room there – a bedroom. There was a large bed under a window. I climbed in, happy to get some sleep. I remember thinking, “I feel safe here.” When I looked around the room I saw a bedroom but knew it was also my “office”.

Again, I drifted in and out of sleep. Again I was thinking of my other job. I kept thinking to myself, “Just a little longer. I’m sooooo tired.” My thoughts would be answered with a visual of a clock showing it was nearly 3pm.

OBE: You Are Fire of the Sun

At some point I recognized my intense tiredness was a clue as was my “other” job. I thought, “I don’t have another job. I must be dreaming.” In that instance I felt the bed I was in was in many places at the same time – in my house in my current reality and also in other places and times. It was also as if the bed, with me in it, spun around as my perspective shifted.

Fully lucid now, I decided to try and get up and out of the bed but was uncertain because it all felt so real. Ultimately, I opted to rock back and forth for a bit in hopes of rolling out of my body. I did this a while and then shifted to a back and forth motion. The entire time I was mentally communicating with someone and I vaguely recall them advising me.

When I left my body it was quick and seamless. I stood there for a moment and then rushed out of the room and down the stairs. Trying to fly wasn’t working so I walked.

At the bottom of the stairs I saw my MIL and another woman sitting with paper in hand. They were focused on some task. Behind them were rows upon rows of bicycles. Hundreds! I remember being disinterested in running into the same things I always did when OOB, so I jumped up, floating over the tops of the bikes intent on exiting the scene.

As I flew the sense of freedom was wonderful. I began to rise higher and higher into the sky. Faster and faster. What is interesting is that I held onto one of the bicycles (to journey alone, independently) as I flew. Below me I could see the city lights and above me the stars.

Eventually the speed at which I was rising was phenomenal and I closed my eyes saying to my guide, “Slower. Slower please.” I did slow down but kept moving up into space. I remember not knowing what I wanted to do with this OBE. So I said to my guide, “Show me what I need to know.” I paused reconsidering, and said, “Take me into space. Take me to another planet.”

For a moment I felt to be nowhere. All movement ceased and I experienced the typical shift that takes me to a new place. My vision came on clearly and I was floating through outer space towards a light.

The next thing I remember is falling very far and dropping into water. I did not go under the water but bobbed to the top. It was all dark up until that point when suddenly the lights turned on. I was in the most blue water I’ve ever seen. It was crystal clear. Ahead of me was a beach and above me a brilliant blue, cloudless sky.

Someone told me to put my feet down because it was shallow. Sure enough I could stand and walked up toward the beach.

The sand was pure white and all along the beach were parked oversized construction vehicles of all sorts. They looked to be abandoned, though. I went to investigate, flying up and around them. Wherever I am must be home to giants, I thought.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement so flew toward it. Just beyond the beach was a small town. The dwellings were all brown and reminded me of a cardboard material. People were walking through the narrow streets. They looked human.

Someone saw me and I flew up as I said, “Hello.” Many stopped and gasped, mouths open, frozen where they stood. I heard someone say, “What is she wearing?” I have no idea if I was wearing anything, nor did I care.

I flew around for a bit, explaining to them I was not from their planet. I began to tell them about the things I ate. One man was holding large, green leaves that curled around the edges. I pointed at them and said, “I could eat that.” But then the man looked as if he were counting them. I said, “Oh. It looks like you use them for money here.”

There was a commotion behind me and I knew they were intent on catching me to study me. I was flying, though, and knew they wouldn’t not be able to.

Then I shifted suddenly back to where my physical body was. My vision went black and then turned back on. I was aware of being very tired and once again laying in the bed. I wanted to go back to the planet and was talking to someone. This time I heard the voice of this other person. It was a male voice and appeared to be coming from a large, blue floating capsule of some sort. In my memory it reminds me a blue pill (could mean blissful ignorance). It even had two white stripes on each end.

I can’t recall what the voice said but it was a distinct voice, very gruff. I realized that I could go back to the planet just by willing it, so I did despite the voice reminding me that the people there wanted to capture me.

Then I was floating over the sandy beach area. The blue of the sky was so vibrant! Below was what looked like woven, straw baskets. A man was standing on top of one of the basket lids. Again it was as if giants made the baskets. They were enormous!

I flew down and landed on the lid near the man. I found it was bouncy and began to jump on it like a trampoline. It was super fun! The man was asking me to stop jumping. I knew his intention was to capture me so I made it a game, getting close to him and then jumping out of his reach.

He pleaded with me to stop so I did and landed next to him. We sat down and I looked at him curious about this human-looking alien. I said to him, “You look like me.” He nodded. Looking at him I noted the differences. For one, his head was oversized, as were his ears and eyes. In my memory he is almost like a caricature drawing and the Mad Libs kid comes to mind, too.

I said, “You have five fingers like me but three toes.” I touched his large toe and noted how the other two toes bent toward the big one. The small toes seemed to have no function at all.

The man reached over and touched my toes. He paused as he touched one of my smaller ones. He said, “You have the mark like me.” I said, “Do I?” He pointed at a tiny white streak across my toenail. He said, “See that? You are fire of the sun. No one can look directly at you.” In my mind I saw a streak of a blue flame. I confirmed, “Sounds like me.” Then he said, “You are a beacon.”

I got the feeling from his words and the images in my mind that I am never truly seen by others.

Without warning I was pulled back to my physical body. The sensation of it was fluid and smooth.

Considerations – Human Design

It has been a while since I’ve had an OBE. I’m glad I asked to be shown what I needed to see. I find that those OBEs where I direct what happens tend to do very little for me these days.

This one appears to be a reminder. In the past I was shown/told that I am a beacon, as are others like me. I thought of a lighthouse back then. Now, though, it seems the message is that, as a beacon, I will never truly be seen. This feels accurate to me. I don’t feel seen in this body. I feel invisible to most others. How odd that my “fire” goes unseen? If I am so bright, if I am indeed a “beacon”, one would think others couldn’t help but see me? But the message was clear, they are drawn to me but never really see me, for to look directly at me would “blind” them, much like when one looks directly at the sun.

A while ago now, a friend of mine introduced me to Human Design. When I think of the message in this OBE and the other messages I’ve been receiving, my Human Design result came to mind. I am a Projector.

Not only are Projectors gifted with the ability to recognize, we are given attributes that are designed to be recognized. We are magnetic beings, designed to attract attention. It is the frequency of our Aura that draws someone who sees and recognizes us for the particular qualities we carry and thereby invite our guidance into their lives. In fulfilling that recognition, we find our signature of success.

The Art of Being a Projector

I believe the dream I had prior to my OBE was a reminder that I am not doing my true work but instead choosing to “sleep” on the job. My true work is as a teacher/counselor (even Projector says this). Yet at this time in my life I do not feel drawn to teach or counsel. The motivation is gone.

I also recently had an astrological chart done. For some reason the nodes come to mind. My South Node is in Taurus and the 3rd House. When I look up what I was told about it, I see that it involves feeling safe and being in my “safe place”. You can see that in my dream. My safe place is my bed. If you were to ask me my favorite place to be, it would be in bed, surrounded by fluffy pillows, sleeping. When I am asleep I feel closest to Home. I feel safe.

My North Node is where I shine – my astrological destiny. I believe (if my notes are correct) it is Scorpio and the 9th House – spirituality, foreign travel/people, transcending the material, diving deep and the transpersonal. And I do feel most alive when these things are a part of my life. Right now they most definitely are NOT.

I stopped writing here because I suddenly felt no reason to continue. So I went on my morning walk. For some reason writing this post left me unsettled and depressed. To never be seen is an awful fate. How lonely.

A song came to my mind and I kept singing it as I walked.

When I returned home I was reminded of a message I received not long ago – You will be seen. So perhaps I can be seen, but it is rare. This gives me some hope I guess.