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Dream: Wedding Preparations

Woke at 4:30am again. I seem not to be able to sleep past that time this week. Prior to waking I had been in an interesting dream.

Dream: Wedding Preparations

I was in the mansion of my soon-to-be husband. Family was gathering, though most were not family I recognized. Some were people I knew in this life, like my best friend in high school. Everyone was gathering for dinner and my fiance was offering appetizers and trying to get everyone to feel comfortable. I felt a bit nervous and uncertain. I was close to lucidity but never crossed that threshold.

My finance offered me peanut brittle and I passed at first saying I couldn’t eat the peanuts. Eventually I took a small bite without peanuts in it. The taste was sweet and I remember that it settled my nerves. I recognized my fiance from previous dreams. He had dark hair, medium skin tone, was tall and thin and older than me. He had deep smile lines and was an ordinary looking man.

I spoke with my finance for a while, specifically about my past marriages and how this one was different. There was concern on my part about our wedding night. I had never had relations with him and was worried about how it would be. I wondered what it would be like to make love being ours was an arranged marriage.

At some point a child showed me a new computer tablet. It had all brand new apps on it and we were looking at them, wondering how to use them. I remember being curious but not overly excited. I was still nervous.

Considerations

When I woke I knew this dream was significant. I have had other similar dreams and all of them seem to indicate a wedding coming soon. My guidance has been giving me messages about the full moon for a while in the dreamstate. There were four and this month, January, would be the last of the four (the first dream was in October 2016). Considering my most recent dreams indicate a merging of the masculine and feminine is taking place, everything seems to be adding up. I still felt nervous when I woke and a bit uneasy. I am trying not to overthink it.

 

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The Swami and Renunciation

One of the things I experienced this morning was waking in the midst of speaking to someone. I don’t recall what I said now but it woke me up twice. Twice with the same word spoken. The word  wasn’t familiar and sounded foreign so I wrote it down in my sleepy state before I lost it. What I wrote down was: Swo-me.

Later today, while at work, after forgetting completely about speaking the word, it came back to me. I searched Google for anything close but ran into nothing. So I thought about the spelling because I likely spelled it wrong. I was tired and just wrote the sounds I was speaking. So, I typed in swomi and came up with swami. That was the word. I had just misspelled it.

I wish now I remembered what I said. I only recall that the word was in reference to a person. To me? To someone else? I don’t know. Sigh. Memory can be so difficult when sleepy.

I read an article about what a swami is and found it fascinating. I also find it fascinating, once again, that my guidance, through the in-between state, had led me all the way across the globe to India and Hinduisim!

Swami means “master” but so much more than that. The author states:

The act of becoming a swami is not so much an acting of becoming, of adding on, of allegiance, as it is an act of setting aside, of renunciation. A swami is a monk, one who has set aside all of the limited, worldly pursuits, so as to devote full time effort to the direct experience of the highest spiritual realization, and to the service of others along those lines.

It represents setting aside one’s identity and  embracing the Whole. Ha! How appropriate!

The rest of the article is also informative and I suggest you read it if only to learn something new for the day. The whole article feels like a message to me. The part of the article that most resonates with me is What is Renunciation located at the bottom of the article in the link above.

These parts stood out to me:

Renunciation is not, definitely not, an abandoning of any duties. Those who have any claims on him first renounce their claims on him and grant him their happy permission to let go. Theirs is no less an act of renunciation, more difficult, because they have yet to struggle with the world. He renounces because his karma with them has been fulfilled; all he leaves behind is their happy thoughts about him.

The above confirms so much of what I have been intuiting about my current karmic situations.

H. H. Swami Rama says that human beings are an unfinished product. A swami is the finished product, ideally speaking; or aspiring to become a finished product soon, in this very life; this is the ultimate in human evolution.

Wow..

In the life of a spiritual seeker or teacher there comes a moment when a decision can no longer be postponed. One passes through emotions like those of a bride: sadness at separation from past love, looking forward to a future of a different expansion of love, enhancing oneself. All weak emotion is to be watched and conquered–not by suppressing it but by merging the little love into the greater one……..Such a moment is a moment of dying; dying to one’s erstwhile limited self. The renunciate performs that ceremony to himself which is normally performed by relatives following the funeral of someone physically dead.

The final section, The Basis of Renunciation, list seven principles as the basis. They are:

  1. The renunciate directs all his energy toward the attainment of the goal of life, realization.

  2. He does not waste time and energy pursuing desires based on self-interest.

  3. The renunciate’s journey is inward; it is neither action nor inaction nor retreat. It consists of performing actions mentally and directing the mind and its modifications inward rather than toward the external world.

  4. Non-attachment is attained spontaneously because the renunciate is not involved with objects; they have all been consciously renounced.

  5. With pure reason all the samskaras are burned in the fire of knowledge.

  6. There remains only one desire: the desire for Self-realization. That desire does not motivate one to do actions in the external world but becomes a means to build determination, will power, and one-pointedness. Therefore such desire is an essential means rather than an obstacle in the path of sadhana.

  7. In the path of renunciation, Self-realization alone is the goal, and any action that does not become a means is firmly rejected and renounced. There is no half-here and half-there; total dedication and devotion are essential limbs for renunciation.

What this means for me, I am still unsure. Perhaps it is just that one of my guides is a swami and I was speaking to him. Perhaps this guide wanted me to explore this definition of “master”. It would not be the first time I have been led in this direction. Feels like I should have been born in India this life! lol

I hope this post sparks a Remembering in you as well. 🙂

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Day #4 and Dream: Saxophone

Day 4 of my gratefulness challenge. Today I am grateful for:

  • Sleep. 🙂 I always want more but am happy for what I get. I had awful insomnia from 2011-2013 on and off.
  • Heaters, especially space heaters. It is still too cold here in Texas for my liking!
  • Coffee – goes with the cold days! I didn’t start drinking coffee until I lived in Alaska back in 2001-2002. Nothing like negative temps to drive you to a habit even if it is a tasty one.
  • Sight (vision). I use to have awful eyesight (can you say blind?) and got Lasik in 2000. Even though I have to wear glasses/contacts now my vision is pretty decent even without correction. Every day I wake up and can see my alarm clock without having to get within a foot of it is a good day!
  • Friends and helpful neighbors. My neighbor is a godsend for watching my littlest on short notice.

Speaking of insomnia, I’ve been awake since 4:30am but am glad I got the 6 hours I got. Seems like I don’t need near as much sleep as I use to these days.

Dream: Saxophone

I had a marathon of dreams last night but this one is worth recounting.

I walked into a small classroom building that was very obviously a music room with carpeted walls. There were instrument cases all around and I spotted a saxophone case. I played sax in high school so I opened up the case and pulled it out. Even though I knew it wasn’t mine, I played a few notes and was pleased I hadn’t lost the ability to play. It sounded nice and smooth. I played a scale, noticing the sound and feel of the pads as I played. Eventually I put it back in the case. However, I decided to fill the case with water. I don’t know why I did this. After I left I worried about it because I knew the water would rot the pads. I hesitated several times and finally chose to go back to empty the water and fix my mistake. Unfortunately, the kids were coming back to the room so I didn’t go in.

Then I was talking to the student whose sax I had flooded. The student had short, black hair and appeared to be a boy but then I thought, “This is a girl!” However, there were no identifying features to prove gender. The student told me that he/she had stayed home sick the day he/she found the sax flooded and was very hurt that someone would do such a thing. Then he/she didn’t return to school but stayed in bed with his/her dog who was elderly and sick. I remember him/her showing me a photo of his/her twin – a child with short, blonde hair  who was also genderless. Both children were about 8-9 years of age. The dark haired one told me all about his/her twin and was eager to share but this is when I woke up.

Interpretation

It’s interesting to me that I keep having dreams with adults and children whose gender is undefinable. They appear asexual. The twin theme is also recurring.

The saxophone is a dream symbol I can’t recall ever having. To see and/or play a saxophone in a dream indicates a need to express one’s self from deep within. It also indicates I’ve made a deep connection with someone. Water is emotion so since I flooded the sax with water, perhaps I flooded the person I have a deep connection with, with emotion? Considering the person’s whose sax I flooded was dark haired and a twin, I suspect that the emotional overload is this other’s person’s and that I am the cause. I felt bad in the dream and wanted to correct my mistake.

Additionally, a sick dog represents a neglected friendship.

Finally, I keep having dreams with elements of music especially being either a part of or seeing an orchestra, though they are never playing music but preparing to. Orchestras represent inner integration, resolution and harmony and incorporating various aspects of one’s life for smooth functioning. It appears that I am working on or preparing to integrate various aspects.

I am hoping this dream and others like it are a positive sign of my progress. It is hard to tell, especially since I keep waking up from these kinds of dreams feeling very pessimistic.

 

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Day #3 and Dreams

Day #3 of the gratefulness challenge.

I am grateful for:

  • A warm coat on a cold day. It was 37 degrees outside this morning!
  • Singing.
  • Children.
  • My intuition.
  • Source/God.

Some dreams from this morning.

Dream: Zombies

This dream was primarily me avoiding zombies and lasted a good chunk of the night. I ended up going in through a window to try and get away from hoards of zombies and found some inside. A person was in there saying not to worry, these zombies were tamed and under this person’s control. There were 50. I remember thinking, “Oh wow, you can tame them?” lol

Dream: Shasta

I was traveling with my family through the mountains of California. We were going to visit Mt. Shasta and the mountains were dotted with bicycles and gear left behind by travelers. I received a message via text by a person who I know as Helen. She was apologizing for not knowing me in her dreams and telling me that I had moved past a certain point, a point she had not been able to pass yet. This made me “see” things in the dreamstate that others could not. She was under the tutelage of another person we both know. I recognized her in the dream but did not become lucid. I was also talking to my cousin via phone and he was telling me the restaurant would be open soon (continued from another dream). I remember the reception was bad because of the mountains. As we got to the top I remember someone asking what would happen when it got dark. I said the mountains would light up. I saw them dotted with lights. It was beautiful.

Dream: Discussing the Feminine Energy

I was inside a restaurant that had closed but would soon be opening again. I was arranging tables along the wall and talking to a man. After arranging the tables, I met up with one of my guides. I hugged him and felt a familiar energy, not his but mine. It came with a longing to embody my female energy completely but I needed a male counterpart in order to do so. I asked my guide, “Can you do this for me?” He replied, “No, only your counterpart can.”

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Day #2 and Dreams

Day two of my gratefulness challenge and I’m already seeing changes in my mood. As I drove into work I was actually thinking of all the things I am grateful for and by the time I arrived I had my five for today and then some. My entire day was brighter because of it.

I am grateful for:

  • Music. I don’t know where I’d be without it!
  • Sunrises. Today’s was especially spectacular.
  • Alone time. I really enjoy my commute to and from work especially. Probably because I get to be alone AND listen to music at the same time! 🙂
  • Nature in all it’s forms.
  • Dreams. I don’t think I need to go into detail here. You all know how much I love my dreams.

Speaking of dreams…

I had some of note that I wish to document.

Dream: Renovated House

I was in my sister’s old bedroom. I was not alone and commented that I knew where I was. I saw the gold, shag carpet and then it shifted into an almost white, more modern carpet. We walked into the hallway and I looked into the bathroom and noticed that it was nothing like I recall. I said to my friend, “We renovated it all. I don’t like it.” For some reason I missed the gold and green laminate. lol

Interpretation

I think this dream is an indicator of positive change. The house in the dream was from my very early years, the first house I ever lived in. That it is renovated indicates a renovation of that time period.

Dream: Red Snake

I was with a group and discussing a video that was taken. I entered into the video as we talked. I saw my brother standing by a swollen creek that was barred by two, silver chains. I ventured beyond them to investigate and saw a large, python-like red snake. I took video of it, capturing it’s almost 6 foot length. Then, as I turned to leave, I noticed it was chasing me. I was not afraid but called to my friends to find them. I asked, “Where are you?” They called back, “Four!” I saw large signs on a pier and located the number 4. I climbed up to the pier and the snake was behind me. He grabbed my leg and squeezed but I kicked him off.

Interpretation

Video in this dream is indicative of the past and past issues/challenges/lessons. The first video is one I am going into, which is more about current issues than past. The snake is most definitely the Kundalini. It’s color could be related to the root chakra. It chases me and I often feel like the K energy is pursuing me, so this makes sense. The number 4 could be representing this numerological cycle for me. I have entered into a 4 year.

Dream: Intruder

I left the snake and joined my group. We continued to discuss videos and I uploaded several of my past – one from 5th grade and one from Halloween. I noticed a stranger was sending me PMs and I didn’t know him but he seemed to know me. He had a name like Vishtu, something foreign. His English was bad and he wouldn’t stop PM’ing me so I blocked him.

Then we talked about a man that kept coming into the house uninvited. I said I didn’t want him in the house. As I said this, I could see the man. He was a blonde man I don’t recognize. A man I was with said to me, “Then we’ll fix it.” He pulled out a gun and shot the blonde intruder in the heart and he fell to the ground.

Interpretation

Again the videos are reviewing the past. In this particular dream I think I was avoiding something or someone related to my past, though who is uncertain. Perhaps it is the man who I feel is intruding in my “house”. This is likely an aspect of me I wish to kill off and which is killed off in the dream.

 

 

 

 

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Gratefulness Challenge

Today I read an article discussing how to make yourself more optimistic. Since I consider myself a realist (pessimist in denial lol) I figured I would read it all the way through. One of the suggestions was to write down five things every day that you are grateful for. Do it for one week and see how it changes your perspective. I thought it was a good idea, so started today. Funny enough, when I got home tonight a friend on FB had posted that she was participating in a gratefulness challenge. Ha! Love how the universe works!!!

So here are my 5 things for today in no particular order. 🙂

I am grateful for:

  • The sun and warmth today. A thunderstorm hit in the early morning hours but as the sun rose, the sky cleared and it warmed to 72 degrees. My kind of day!
  • My three beautiful children. They bring me joy every day.
  • My health.
  • My job and the financial security it brings me.
  • My home/Home.

I plan to do this for at least a week, maybe longer. I will try to post daily, but that may or may not happen considering I am back to work full-time. Join me if you like! 🙂

In Other News…..

I woke my two oldest up early and sent them to the bus stop and they didn’t have school today. Ooops! lolol

All day my heart chakra has been fired up – higher heart, too. My throat has also been very active. Feels like a snake is wound around it and trying to choke me. Ugh. Thankfully, no sickness. Knock on wood.

During my lunch break I saw this sitting across from me:

img_20170102_140259202_hdr.jpg

No big deal except that it is. I saw it the first time on 12/12/16 and forgot about it. It came along with more 11’s than I could count. When I saw it today I laughed because I realized this box has been sitting there the entire time I’ve been working at this place. Look really closely where it comes from…..

img_20170102_183238.jpg

Sometimes I think Tennessee is stalking me. LOL

Finally, just because it was so odd – On my commute home today at 4pm I was behind two very obviously drunk drivers. One was on a four lane highway scaring everyone who tried to pass them, the other on the interstate. I mentally sent them a note: New Year’s Eve was two days ago…. 😉

 

 

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2017: Newborn Butterfly Stage

Today has been a beautiful day. I spent most of it at my Mom’s house in the country. I took a long walk with my daughter down a dirt path into the woods. While we walked, she stopped and exclaimed, “Mom! Look! A butterfly!” I looked at it and was instantly sad because it appeared to have a broken wing. I told her to leave it alone because the last one I found like that died and I hated seeing such a beautiful creature die. She refused to leave it, though, saying, “I want to take it and show Nana!” As she picked it up, it attempted to fly out of her hand but fell to the ground. I thought, “Great sign for the new year….”

She kept the little butterfly in her hand through the rest of the walk mentioning how it kept fluttering in her hands. I didn’t think much about it, trying to avoid thinking of it as a bad sign.

When we got to my Mom’s house she immediately showed them. She wanted me to take a picture, so I got up real close to take a shot. When I got close, though, I realized the butterfly was not wounded at all. In fact, it was newly born! It’s bottom wings were still wrinkled. No wonder it couldn’t fly!

This is the picture I took. If you look at the bottom wings, you will see they are still wrinkled. This butterfly was not very old. My daughter thought it was a Monarch but it’s top wings were speckled and almost completely orange so I knew it wasn’t. Turns out it’s a Monarch look-a-like called a Queen Butterfly.

newborn-butterfly

Newborn Queen butterfly

After taking the picture I told my daughter to put the butterfly outside in a safe place so it’s wings could finish drying. She didn’t want to and kept letting it crawl around on her. It was very active. Finally, she did take it outside and put it near a small bush. Thankfully it was in the 70’s today. Here’s hoping it was able to finally take flight.

2017

2017 is a 1 year numerologically speaking. We end 2016, a 9 year, completing a cycle and now a new cycle begins. The butterfly sign today confirms this. I am blown away by the perfection of this sign for 2017. Not only has my guidance given me ample messages regarding the transformative stage I we have been in all of 2016, but they have also hinted that soon it will be time to test our wings and only when we have risen up in flight will we see with new eyes.

For many of us, we will feel unsteady this year as we get our bearings in our new Light bodies. There may be confusion, indecision, life upheaval and pitfalls as we test our newly formed wings and try to fly. Imagine what that newborn butterfly must have been feeling when it found itself on the middle of the road and couldn’t fly away to safety. I think many of us will feel like that butterfly – inexperienced, exposed, nervous, maybe even a bit frightened.

For most of 2017 we will be getting our bearings; learning to use our new “equipment”. What that means exactly will likely be different for everyone. I already feel unsteady as 2016 comes to an end. There is a nervousness but also a curiosity. I also don’t feel quite like myself and am questioning myself and my intentions. I feel somewhat like my  soul compass has been re-calibrated.

We will not be alone, however. Part of this new birth is finding our new families and migrating toward them. No, this will not all happen in 2017. It takes sometimes up to 2-3 hours for a newborn butterfly’s wings to be ready for flight. Similarly, we will need time to adjust and prepare. So think of 2017 as that preparation period. We will need lots of patience for we will know we are changed but will be held back by circumstance (wings still wet). For those of you like me (impatient to get going!) this feeling of being held back, of having to wait after we’ve waited for so long to get here, will test our limits. Patience – my favorite word – is what I am hearing now. Sigh.

Here….we…….GO!

 

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Dreams and OBE: Opting Out

Some interesting dreams for a couple of nights and an OBE that I wish to document.

Dream: Golden Pyramid

I was inside a large garage. I can’t remember what we were doing but the back door of the garage was open and I saw a very large, golden pyramid in the garden outside of it. It glowed and I remember feeling drawn to it.

Interpretation

Pyramids suggest major changes will occur over a short period of time.

Dream: Inside-Out

I owned two cars. One was silver and the other was black. Both were being worked on. I was having my mom pick up the silver car from the shop. I recall placing a $20 bill under the seat. When I described the car to her, I saw the image of it in my mind. The entire car was inside out, like a piece of clothing. I remember telling her it was this way on purpose. I could see the black car sitting idle in the grass.

Interpretation

The two cars are two distinct paths. The silver one is the main focus. It is turned inside out, indicating something similar is taking place regarding this path. The number 20 is about being positive and trusting that things are unfolding as they should.

Dream: Peeling Face

I was looking in the mirror and peeling huge chunks of skin off my face. The chunks of skin were at least an inch deep. As I peeled them off, I looked at them in my hand. Chunks of flesh. I remember feeling embarrassed of what I might look like and trying to hide the peeled portions of my face with my hair. Yet, when I looked in the mirror, expecting to see red and raw patches on my face, I saw only small bits of flaky skin here and there. I looked normal. No damage done.

Interpretation

I believe this represents a questioning of my identity or maybe a rejection of aspects of it.

Dream: Torn Sleeping Bags

I was a child roaming through a field dotted with jagged rocks and shrubs. I stopped at a rock and played with two yellow, toy trucks. I needed to use the bathroom so did so, just standing right by the rock. I remember feeling like a boy but having the body of a girl. It was very realistic in the dream. Realizing this, I searched for something to wipe with. I walked to my right, searching for something that might work. I saw sleeping bags in the treetops. They looked like they had been tossed there by a storm. They were ripped and blowing in the breeze. I picked up a piece of torn fabric from a red sleeping bad.

Interpretation

There seems to be a recognition of being both masculine and feminine in this dream. The urination is purification and cleansing of negative or repressed emotions. Sleeping bags represent warmth and protection. Being they are torn it could symbolize a feeling of exposure.

Dream: Check-Out

I was in a hotel suite with a friend from high school. I remember commenting on how long and beautiful her hair was and feeling very comfortable with her. We were lounging about preparing to leave and taking our time when there was a loud bang on the window. My friend when to investigate noticing they were trying to break in. She closed the window and then they moved to the front door, banging hard. She opened the door a bit and looked outside. There was a family standing there with a key wanting in. After a brief discussion it was determined that we had failed to check-out when we were suppose to, so we rushed to get packed and ready and asked the family to wait. We were too slow and they were in a hurry so we let them in. They began to dress in swimsuits and I got mad saying they were just in a hurry to get on the water slides. My friend decided to get back into bed at this time and I lingered because of her. The family was fine with this, saying we could just share the room, but I couldn’t imagine us all fitting. There weren’t enough beds. There was a sharing of food here, too, specifically avocado, which I ate. I recall discussing the options for check-out then. We had been told to check-out at 11am and we hadn’t. So the next option was 5pm.

Interpretation

The first thing I noticed from this dream is that the friend I was with was no longer my enemy which has been a pattern in my dreams since high school. Another thing was that we were at a water park, which has also been a repeating dream theme, but this time we were leaving. Water parks represent feeling emotionally fulfilled, so I am no longer feeling that way. There is a delay, not wanting to leave, but I am angry about it, suggesting that I am feeling disconnected from the emotions related to the stay. I want to “check-out”. The avocado represents reward in return for effort.

OBE: Opting Out

I became aware of vibrations and could tell my energy body was floating and separating from my physical body I lingered here as my vision turned on and found myself floating over treetops and rolling hills. The sky was filled with low hanging, gray storm clouds but it was not raining. I looked down and saw the silver railings of a paved bridge. I floated over the edge, looking down at the trees below. I was very high up. My guidance said, “You can leave your body now if you want.” I looked up again, considering taking flight, and then looked down. The urge I had was to just jump, allowing myself to fall to my death. This felt preferable to flying. I knew if I chose to fly that I would just return to my body after and I rejected this. My emotion was flat. The scene blinked and I was above rugged, snow topped mountains. I looked down, looked at them and rejected them, too. My guidance sent back  an, “OK” and the vibrations faltered, became jagged and my awareness came back to my body.

When I woke I was in a very low emotional state. I noticed that the OBE reflected my desire to exit this life.

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11101

Woke at 4:40am and couldn’t go back to sleep. Sigh. I had returning to work on my mind, too. Probably because I have to go back on Monday. 😦 So I wasn’t in a very good mood. It took me a while to relax and center in my heart but I only fell into the in-between, never sleep.

All day yesterday I was feeling this anticipatory energy. It bothered me because I couldn’t identify the source. The feeling was similar to that first day of school feeling. Nervous anticipation. I had to go shopping while I had this energy, so I did, but it followed met through the store. Despite the strangeness of it, people kept smiling at me, looking directly in my eyes, and talking to me. This is unusual so I noticed. I was with my youngest and focusing on him, smiling, joking around, so maybe that attracted their attention. Or maybe my Light was brighter than usual?

One old woman stopped me to talk to me about her grandson and how he was pretending to read, reading to her “Bras and panties” on a pretend sign he saw on the highway. lol She had a nice, gentle, grandmotherly energy and I could see her return to that memory like she was there when she told me. She even got up really close to me, nearly touching me, to tell me her story. 🙂

When I checked out, the energy began to dissipate. It was about 1pm that I sensed it settle. Then I heard the cashier say, “After your discounts your total came to $111.01.” That stopped me mid-sentence and I looked at the register and laughed. As I paid the bill I told her, “111. I see that number all the time. It follows me.” She said, “Really? That’s odd.” lol Not to me.

When I looked at the receipt later on I noticed that not only was the total showing tons of 1’s but the items purchased equaled 11 and so did the sale and total savings. Ha! 11 overload. Funny enough as I am writing this, I am reminded that as I left the store, receipt in hand, I noted the time was 1:01pm.

After that, the energy stabilized and I felt much better. Perhaps the energy was transitional which is why it felt so first-day-of-school-like. 🙂 Some people, like me, get nervous with transitions, while others, like the old lady, are old pros at them and may even look forward to the change they bring.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with an old friend. Our second visit this week. Our two little ones played while our husbands took the older ones to an outdoor family recreation center. So, we got to chat with less distraction – no distraction once our little ones both took naps. 🙂

My energy soared during the visit. It was so nice. Unfortunately, my energy plummeted by evening.

Time is on Your Side

So back to this morning. When I woke in a sour mood and struggled to return to my heart, this song was in my head, specifically: “Time is on your side, it’s on your side now. Not pushing you down and all around, it’s no cause for concern.” Love Coldplay.

 

 

 

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Belief is Limitation

There was a Shift yesterday that came in quietly, but I noticed it. For me, it was subtle at first. I almost didn’t notice except that I became a bit overwhelmed for no real reason. Later, while watching the last two episodes of the OA, I had a visitor in Spirit who approached me from my left. He was a guide, but not mine. His presence was obvious and when his message was given, he left. Afterward, I was overcome with emotion.

Dream: Pending Release

I slept deeply with few dreams. After waking early in the morning, I returned to sleep and entered into a vivid dream.

I was inside a large, cinder block room. It was an old, previously abandoned prison. I was an employee, my main job was to clean up.

I was intrigued by the people who visited there, renting the space. A man who seemed familiar, came in along with some others. They were teaching spiritual classes on various topics. My eyes followed this particular man for a while as I tried to figure out my draw to him. He was a normal looking man but his hair was very long, almost to his waist. He had eyes that drew me in and when he looked at me I felt he was speaking to me, though I heard no words.

I lingered near him, listening to what he was saying to a couple. He was discussing astrology with them and I remember the woman saying she was an Aquarius. The couple had never had children and she used astrology as her reasoning for this, citing that she just never felt a need to have them. My interest got the better of me and I interjected, saying to the group, “I have an Aquarius rising and I have three children.”

After this, the man and I locked eyes and I felt nervous, looking down and walking away and back to my cleaning duties. He went on with his teaching and I stayed nearby, observing the other teachers and their classes. I recall seeing a man I knew back in 2003-2004, a business owner who allowed me to do readings in his store. I knew him as Big Mike. When I saw him, I smiled and he recognized me. I went up to him and hugged him, feeling the familiarity of his embrace. He was wearing what I recall him wearing when I knew him, long, flowing, colorful moo-moo-like clothing that hid his obesity.

There was a scene here where I was looking at a piece of paper on which I had written a question. A man came up to it and wrote in big letters, “GOD” and said, “That is better.” I looked at my question and read it back to myself. I can’t remember now what I had written but the answer to it was, “Ask God.”

There was an entire music-related scene here. I heard the music and recognized it. The people listening to it were familiar. I swear one was my cousin. I heard the name Metallica, but the song I heard sounded more like Gun n’ Roses or ACDC to me. I remember hearing a particular part of the song – no,no,no…. and on and on. I told my cousin it was not Metallica. lol

As it got later, I found myself mopping the floor. I was instructed to do it a certain way and saw that the floor turned into this brown, shag carpet. I picked up my mop and all the fibers of it were gone leaving only a nub. I got another mop that was old and grungy and began to mop and disturbed a group of red ants that were eating dead cockroaches. There was an interruption here where two women came in and searched every third locker for a bomb. I remember trying to help.

Then I was talking to a woman I once knew in 2003-2004. She told me she and her husband had adopted a baby boy. I looked down and saw a baby curled up inside my mop bucket. I pointed to him and she smiled. For some reason I was painting  picture of a tree with bare branches. I used pink paint from another bucket but as I painted, it was mucking up and too thick so I had to remove it. It came off in layers, some thick with fibers.

As I prepared to leave, I noted the time. 12:15am. Another employee left and said goodbye. I remember knowing I would stay until 12:30 and looking forward to my drive home.

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Messages

When I awoke I did a lot of shifting in and out of the in-between. There were messages that came quickly. Often I would repeat these messages over and over again until I would come to full awareness.

The first one I received was the God message from the dream. It came into my mind vividly and I noted it, recognizing that the message was to seek guidance from Source/God. I knew how to do this. Focus on my heart. So I did. With this I felt a welling up of pressure in my chakras, especially the lower three, and fell immediately into the in-between.

There was one message I saw and/or repeated at least 7 times. I even wrote it down thinking I was awake. Finally, somehow I managed to pull myself out of the in-between. There was strong energy in all my lower chakras. My root chakra felt to be expanded to my knees and my solar plexus was pushing upward toward my heart. I got out of bed, got a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote down the messages.

Everything we are is right outside our belief. 

When you have belief, you have limitation.

I slipped briefly into the in-between where I found myself standing in front of a pile of what looked like strips of pink meat. I was gathering it up and sliding it toward the edge of the table where I gathered it into my arms. I repeated several times, “I can say goodbye. I can say goodbye. I CAN say goodbye.”

This woke me up because I felt from my guidance a questioning, like, “Can you?”

Then I saw very clearly written in my mind:

When_________happens, I will __________.

As soon as I recognized it I heard:

Conditional thinking.

Every time I fell into the in-between messages would come through and I would be prompted to write them down. So that’s what I did.

If you feel it, DO IT.

What do you want to do?

Go to the mountains.

Then DO IT. 

With this last message and conversation I finally was too awake. I stayed in bed, feeling the strange energy swirling through my entire body. Chakras seeming to push on each other. I kept imaging myself getting into my car and driving to the mountains. With this I had thoughts, wondering what I would do when I got there, wondering about my job. There was an entire conversation about my job, too. I was being asked if I wanted to go back. I do not. Then I was hearing that if I didn’t want to go back, why go back? I remember saying I needed the money and then being asked about my beliefs about money. The conversation got too much for me. I kept remembering the first message: “Everything we are is right outside our belief.” It was too hard for me to take it all in. Overwhelming even.

My guidance reminded me over and over, “It’s simple. If you feel it, do it.”

Right now my head feels weird. Energy is pooling around the back of it and stretching around the sides of my nose. It is a familiar feeling, one I haven’t had in a long time. It is like something is pushing down from above, via my crown.It makes me feel unfocused and I am fighting the drift into the in-between even as I sit here typing.

The time of 12:30 continues to come to mind. I am wondering if it is not a time, but a date?