Author Archives

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A Message in an Email

Have to share this because it is such a perfect example of how the universe (and my guides) sends messages.

Backstory – I have been periodically applying for positions here and there as I feel guided. A couple of weeks ago I applied to Pearson. The work is part-time and seasonal and most of the jobs are for scoring tests. I figured I would go ahead and apply since I am trying to avoid traditional work right now.

Last night I was checking my email and noticed a message in my inbox which had been there since 1pm. Not sure why I didn’t notice it until 9pm, but it was meant to be that way I am sure. This is what the message title was: Offer to work the Tennessee 2016 – Geometry. 

I saw the word “Tennessee” first and nearly fell out of my chair. Then I looked closer and laughed some more. And then some more. Too frickin’ crazy! LOL

The closer I looked the more I understood. There was no way I was going to be able to take the job. Why? Well for one, they wanted an answer the day the email was sent. Then, IF I was to take the offer I would have to bust my butt to get paperwork in and meet with HR by Friday so that I could go to training on Monday full-time for a week. The job would then continue until the end of the month with overtime expected (nights and weekends).

Since I received the email at 9pm there was no way to figure out childcare or scheduling. My husband was already asleep and no amount of nudging him was going to wake him up. My MIL, the person who would watch the kids, would have freaked out if I asked her last minute to babysit. So it just wasn’t feasible to take the offer. So I declined it.

Good news is, there are many offers coming as they are always scoring. Also, the location is 7 minutes from our house. 🙂 Nothing more convenient than that.

So it is obvious that this job offer had only one purpose: to get a message across to me. Go to Tennessee in 2016. I assume that “Geometry” is significant here, too. Sacred geometry maybe? Lots of significance there. Pretty cool!

Bad news: I woke up with an ear infection in my right ear. Boo! The Kundalini is probably to blame. On a positive note, I have medicated drops from the last one. Also, since the issue is in my ear it suggests that the K is doing its work up near the third-eye. Progress is being made. Still, it sucks. My first ever ear infection was when I was 31. Since then I have had a couple more. Never anything serious, just outer ear, but they HURT! And I can’t hear a darned thing.

 

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OBE: What’s Your Intent?

I woke at 5am hearing the chorus to the Steve Miller Band song, Fly Like an Eagle,  in my head: Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin, into the future…” lol I could hear the music and everything. So weird! I was hungry so went and got a snack and went back to bed.

Lucid Dream: Come Back Down

The scene just seemed to appear before me. I suspect because of a sudden increase in lucidity. What triggered it, I don’t know. It was a beautiful, sunny day. No clouds in the sky and a warm breeze. I was looking up at the sky at an object that was just hovering there. I was not focused on the object, so the memory of it now is blurry, but I remember enough to know it was a UFO. It was silver and blended into the sky around the edges making it appear like a misshapen, discolored cloud.

What I was focus on was a person hanging off the end of a white parachute. The parachute was not descending, it was ascending up toward the ship. There was a long rope that dangled from the person all the way to the ground. I watched as the parachute slowly rose higher and higher, the parachute full of air.

Then what seemed like an invisible pair of scissors came out of nowhere and clipped the rope that was dangling from the person. The rope fell the the ground in a heap. The parachute instantly lost the air that was inflating it and became a mass of white fabric that dove toward the ground like an arrow.

The person, just a tiny dot of white, began to fall as well but then it was as if an invisible hand yanked on the remaining rope connected to him. The person flew into the ground with such force that a cloud of dust and debris went flying up into the air.

From where I was standing it looked like a tiny atomic bomb went off. I was astonished but not worried about the guy. I knew he would not be hurt. For some reason I kept thinking he was like a cartoon character. lol

The debris cloud made me question what was going on. Where was I? I looked around me and saw that I was standing on a narrow dirt road. Alongside of me was tall, green grass that was swaying in the breeze. Small trees were in the distance and the blue, cloudless sky seemed to take up almost all of my visual field. It was beautiful!

Everything was so realistic but I knew I was dreaming. Wow. I decided to look at myself and held both my arms out in front of me. There they were completely solid looking and normal. No distortions or fuzziness. I moved my hands just to be sure.

Then, I looked down at my legs and saw them, too. I was wearing shorts and white tennis shoes. Then I looked at my mid-section, even pulling up my shirt and looking at my stomach and pulling out my waistband to see if I was “all there”. LOL Which I was. I remember thinking, “So…. all of me is here.” Funny! I am still laughing about this part.

My last thought was, “This is the most lucid dream I have ever had.” BTW, this isn’t true but at the time it sure felt like it.

OBE: What’s Your Intent?

I do not recall going back into my body, but the next thing I remember is being in my bed and fighting the energy sensations I was having. It was not intense but the energy was making me feel fidgety. I had this urge to move. In my memory this time is confusing and it is hard to decipher exactly what was going on. What I am guessing is that I was fighting going OOB but that particular thought was not among the many I remember having.

There was this sensation of something around my neck. It felt like a neck pillow. I also felt something covering my eye. It was annoying and I blamed it for my restlessness.

At one point I realized something: They were trying to get me to get out of bed. They wanted me to stand up. “They” being my guidance I guess. Reluctantly I sat up in bed and then just stood up. The restless energy ceased immediately. I still had the pillow around my neck. By this time I was thinking, “I can’t take it off. It will make me wake up.” But then I was like, “I don’t care.” And I ripped the darn thing off my neck and threw it on the ground. The lightness I felt was a relief! It felt like something was on my back as well, like clothing of some sort. I ripped it off, too. There was a feeling with this action, like I was freeing myself from self-imposed bondage.

I was afraid to open my eyes. I peaked out a half closed eye lid and saw a normal bedroom. It was dark but my vision was super crisp. I sensed I was in my mom’s bedroom (why? lol) but it was not her bedroom. Again, I felt completely solid and normal. No frantic energy or heaviness. It was so real, so solid, that I kept arguing with myself about whether I was OOB or not. lol

Eventually I just accepted I was OOB. I also knew I was being guided by someone in my head. I felt urged to move, so I left the bedroom. When I went out the door, I fully expected to see the kitchen but it was on the wrong side of the room and it was no kitchen I had ever been to. The wall opposite of me was all cabinets, with a sink, dishwasher and pantry. The cabinets were white and the appliances all silver. There was a small window over the sink. Very country-like but modern and pretty. To the right was the door that went outside. It was white with a fairly large, curtained window.

Despite the unfamiliarity, I was still convinced I was at my mom’s house (weird). I went directly to the door and right through it. Outside it was still dark and directly in front of me was the swimming pool. It was lit up and sparkling blue. When I saw it I felt an increase in energy and ran toward it, diving right into it despite seeing the surface of the water had some dead bugs floating on top.I remember considering the nasty dead bugs but decided I shouldn’t care because it was a dream anyway. lol

I have not been underwater while OOB in a long time and the feeling of it was welcomed. One of my absolute favorite things to do when OOB is go under water. While under the water, my eyes were open and I could see the surface covered in the dead bugs and also the light making patterns in the water. I took a deep breath in because I knew my tendency was to hold my breath.

I was in the shallow end so stood up and let the water trickle down my face. I could feel every tiny drop, the coolness of it thrilled me. I kept thinking, “This is so real!” lol

As I stood there, I remember wondering what I should do next. This is when I heard a voice ask me, “What is your intent?” My answer was, “I don’t know.” I was about to say, “I just want to have fun” but I was practically jerked out of the scene and slammed back into my physical body.

Afterward

Back in my body the energy was crazy wild and my heart was beating super fast and irregular. Had I not done this a thousand times I would have thought I was dying. My crown was completely open and my breathing irregular as well. It was quite disturbing and it took a very long time for it to stop. I haven’t had my heart doing such weird things since pregnancy (it was common for me to have irregular heart rhythm in the last trimester because of increased blood volume).

While I was waiting for my energy to settled I was again asked, “What is your intent?” I still didn’t know. I realized the entire OBE and previous lucid dream was a lesson. I was being asked to choose; to make up my mind about what I wanted to do rather than just randomly go where the wind blows. While OOB I had no desire to do anything in particular. Similarly, I have no desire to do anything in particular in my waking life. My only intention was to “play”. LOL I suppose that is similar to my waking life as well, but I am not doing very much of it.

Almost 40 minutes after returning to my body, I finally got out of bed. It took that long for the energy to settle and it is still not completely settled. My head hurt when I stood up and then I felt sick to my stomach the whole time I was eating breakfast.

I think I understand what the lucid dream was trying to show me. I need to stay grounded; to come back down to Earth. I’m here for a reason and need to stop “playing around” with my head in the clouds.

The OBE is still very vivid and the message quite annoying. I wish my guidance would stop trying to force me to make a decision. I can’t make up my mind. Sorry. So shoot me. This is me in a nutshell: ambivalent about life. Do I go this way? Or that way? Do I want this? Or that? I don’t ever seem to know for sure.

It was made very clear to me, though, that until I make a decision I will remain in limbo land. Stuck as “life keeps on slippin into the future”. Hahahaha

 

 

 

 

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Revisiting 2006

 

I’ve been having this strange feeling that I am missing something, something that should be obvious. Kind of like I’m not seeing the forest for the trees. The feeling has been nagging me for over a week now. I hate being nagged!

In considering this feeling, I am reminded of the worst part of my Dark Night in 2005. What is happening now that corresponds to what happened then?

There are major difference, of course. I was unemployed in 2005 time and had hit rock bottom. Though I am unemployed now, it is by choice and I am by no means near rock bottom.  The depression in 2005 was the worst ever. It seemed I never stopped crying and no path, no option seemed attractive to me. So I stayed stuck and dug myself deeper into the pit of despair. Currently, I would not call what I am experiencing as depression. It is melancholy sometimes and definitely lack of motivation, but nothing like what I experienced in 2005.

The similarities are that I am resisting movement toward a certain path. Back then, it was the path away from my spiritual calling and it infuriated me that I would be asked to go back to teaching. I refused and as long as I did so, I was miserable. I had episodes that scared the bejesus out of me as well. So much that I ended up seeking out a psychiatrist who said I was having psychotic breaks and was Bipolar (lol). Thankfully, now the resistance is not manifesting so traumatically. Plus, the movement is back toward a spiritual path. I should be jumping for joy, but I’m not. Instead, I am resisting. I’m super suspicious,  wondering if my guidance is leading me down the rabbit hole once again. Been there, done that, don’t wanna go back to that if I can avoid it. Back then I called it “delusions of grandeur”. haha

The primary difference between now and then is that this time my heart is online. It is strikingly obvious to me, though, that my reaction to the coming change in direction of my life is almost identical. I’m afraid of change. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of failure. Afraid to believe that maybe, just maybe I will get what I’ve always wanted. Huh?

2006

I read recently that astrologically, this year corresponds to 2006. The life issues and lessons you did not successfully learn or that still need some learning will come up for re-inspection. I suspect this is why memories of the Fall of 2005 are returning to me. It’s a heads up. Hey, you, looks like you didn’t finish this there issue. Time to pay the piper. lol

2006 was a pretty good year. I reluctantly (more like forced to) followed my guidance and got a teaching job, relocated, lived on my own and began to rebuild my life. I learned that I enjoyed being single (hey hey!) and after multiple lame relationships decided I didn’t need anyone but myself. No more men. No more BS. lol And I integrated the spiritual back into my life despite the fact that I had been led to discard it. I recognized that just because I was being led to work a mundane job did not mean I had to stop being spiritual or doing what I enjoyed.

I wouldn’t say I had beaten the Dark Night but in 2006 I was definitely emerging back into the light. Finding my footing. Reconnecting with mySelf. By that December I was in my own Power more than any other time in my life. Pretty awesome, huh?

So it has me wondering, what exactly am I needing to tweak from 2005-2006? Obviously, there is the “follow your heart” message. Got that one loud and clear. In 2005 it nearly drowned me to resist where I was being led. Damn I am stubborn. lol

The being alone, being at peace with aloneness lesson was well-learned. In fact, I would love to learn that one again. Meaning? Probably not a lesson this time around. Ha! Thinking it may be a lesson in reverse considering I have been in cave mode so long. How many people and energies does it take to break me? One? Hahaha

And the “done with men” lesson? Hmmm Not sure there. Maybe still needs some tweaking. lol In looking at it more carefully, though, I think that lesson was more standing in my own power and not thinking I somehow needed a man in my life. Feeling I do need to revisit that one. I just need to remember what my own Power feels like and not give it away so willingly. (OMG thinking I will cry now that I am re-reading this part)

The other lesson is balance. Balancing the spiritual and mundane in my life, specifically career-wise. It CAN be done. I did it. Successfully. Had I not met my now husband in 2007 I would probably have continued to do it successfully. I suspect my spiritual business would have made the same or more money as my teaching job back then had I continued with it. Instead, I chose to dump it altogether. The idea of starting a family won out over my spiritual goals and aspirations. At the time, it seemed to be the path I was suppose to take and I have no doubt it was now. And yeah, I chose to go all-out 3D. Sucker! 🙂

So there is likely a return to that lesson coming as well. Hmmm. And there was with that a taste of the unexpected. The universe brought to me what I needed and I didn’t even know I needed/wanted it.

I also learned that when you don’t resist the path you are meant to be on, the universe provides in abundance. When I accepted I was to return to teaching I was offered work without even having to put forth much effort. It actually irritated me back then because, well, I didn’t want to be on that path. lol

Okay, well I think that is it but maybe more will reveal itself in time. A lot happened in 2006. I grew exponentially – by leaps upon leaps and bounds. Perhaps remembering this is to give me strength for the coming year. Remember I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and thrived despite myself, so I can do it again if need be. <—–BINGO.

 

 

 

 

 

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Lucid Dream: Panther

I couldn’t sleep last night. I was wound up, bursting with energy. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am. I don’t feel tired this morning despite waking at 7am.

Lucid Dream: Panther

I was having a dream where I was talking with someone about happiness. I had a realization which I stated in the dream. It was something like, “No wonder I’m never happy. My expectations ruin it for me.” This statement brought on lucidity and the scene shifted.

I was in a car with two other women. One was a black women with exceptionally long dreadlocks. She was quite pretty and I remember wishing I looked like her. We were talking about various things, but I can’t recall the discussion now other than remembering something about a grocery store and a full versus empty shopping cart.

The black woman was driving the car and going quite fast. She made a turn at a very high speed and the car fish tailed to a stop in the ditch next to the gate leading onto some rural property. It looked like a ranch of some sort out in the middle of nowhere. When I realized the car was swerving and might crash, I escaped out the window and floated next to the car watching it come to a stop.

Then I was standing on the gravel road in between the fence posts that marked the entrance to the ranch. I saw this massive, black panther standing in front of me. It was huge and had massive canines. I was nervous and looked to see if I could find my companions but they had vanished. I was alone, face-to-face with a black panther!

The large cat rushed toward me and I huddled down to protect myself. It pounced and landed on my back and then put its massive mouth over my head as if it were going to eat me. But rather than eat me, it seemed to be playing with me and felt more like a dog than a cat. I could feel the weight of it on my back and feel the heat of its breath and its massive teeth.

I wast thinking, “Is he friendly?” Nothing he did indicated that he was going to hurt me, yet I was still not sure. I stood up and he let me stand. For some reason he was playfully jumping around like a dog waiting for his owner to throw a stick for him to fetch. I got it in my mind to pick up a rock and throw it. When I did, the panther chased after the rock. I remember thinking, “How do I get out of here?” Despite the panther being friendly, all I could think of was how to get away from him.

The large cat came loping back with the rock and dropped it at my feet, asking me to throw it again. I was plotting my escape when I felt the energy of re-entry into my physical body pull me out of the scene.

Hypnagogia

Upon return to my body I was hit with intense hypnagogic imagery. It was all in black, white and gray and there were symbols strategically placed in a grid pattern that covered my entire visual field. It had depth (3D) and reminded me of coordinates or the plotting of some kind of graph. The symbols were varied and it was most definitely some kind of language. What language, I don’t know. I recall seeing the number 3 but it was not numerical. As I try to remember the symbols, Ancient Cyrillic comes to mind. Just so happens that the 3 is one of the symbols in this language. hahaha

cyrillic

My entire crown was lit up with so much energy it felt as if my head were going to explode. It didn’t hurt but it was uncomfortable and my entire body stiffened making it impossible to relax.

I tried to direct the images I was seeing by willing them to change. I tried to give them color. I tried to shift it into a scene or a picture that I could walk into. Nothing worked. The only change that resulted was that the symbols were replaced by millions of tiny 3D bubbles all in gray and white. They started out tiny and got larger and larger until at the top of my visual field they seemed to pop or burst open. Circles upon circles upon circles.

strawberries-800

Dream: Strawberry Field and Message

I saw in front of me a field of beautiful, red, ripe strawberries. They were lined up and perfect in every way. When I saw them, though, I rejected them. There is no way strawberries could be that perfect. I replaced the image with a field of half rotten strawberries. The rows and columns had huge gaps in them where the strawberries had been taken out. To me this felt more comfortable but there was most definitely an upset with this scene. I preferred the first but felt it was impossible. It made more sense that the strawberries be imperfect, rotting or missing.

Someone was with me and they were trying to convince me that the first field of strawberries was a possibility. I don’t recall how he looked, just his energy. He had such hope and his belief was stronger than my own. He took my hand and said to me, “Let’s pave a new path.” I let him take my hand but I did not go with him. What he was promising was a fantasy world. I would be stupid to follow him. Yet not going with him was agonizing.

I woke up feeling really awful and hopeless.

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Noticing

Another lesson of the OBE is on noticing. I am still learning it, still integrating it, but I want to share with you what I have realized thus far.

While OOB, I learned early on never to focus too much on anything while in the astral. To focus on something too long resulted in a loss of energy and ultimately a shift back into my physical body. I did not want that, of course, so I stopped focusing on things and learned quickly how to maintain a projection for hours.

It occurred to me just a couple of days ago that noticing is also used in meditation quite often. You are to “notice” the thoughts that enter your mind but then let them pass. You did this by not looking at them which in turns leads to focusing on them which in turn can lead to falling into a movie in your head (dream) and ultimately falling asleep. Have you ever done this while meditating? Then you failed to just “notice” your thoughts. I fall asleep all the time in my meditations. Then I end up OOB when I run into the noticing problem head-on. Oh, look a talking horse. Don’t notice. Don’t notice. Crap. I noticed! Back in my body. LOL

What I have realized from over 13 years of astral projection is that I was shown how much I tend to fixate on things. As I became more aware of this while OOB, I noticed how my energy seemed to be sucked out of me when I was focused on something or someone in my projection. At first I thought it was just me losing lucidity and so I would try to look at my hands or say, “Clarity now”. But this didn’t always work. You might ask, “Wouldn’t looking at your hands be focusing?” Yes and no. Yes you are putting your attention on something, but since it is your own hand and familiar and not out of the ordinary to your perception of reality, it serves to stabilize your energy. Also, what I have learned about focusing in the astral is that your energy is sent to that which you focus upon. If you are focusing on yourself/astral body, well then your build your energy (if that makes sense).

It is the same in waking life, just the energy dynamics are less noticeable. If you know what to look for, though, you can feel the energy exchange as it occurs. I have felt it.

This is the example I gave my husband when I was telling him about my realization:

When you are driving down the highway, you notice the environment – the cars, the signs, the road, the weather, etc. You do not focus on these things, you just notice them. You notice until something is not right then you focus when you have to on that particular thing. So if a car swerved into your path, you would focus on it for that instant and react as needed and then return to noticing.

If you were to instead focus on something purposefully while driving, you would find your perception altered as your energy shifted toward that thing. For example, have you ever been a passenger and focused on the wheels of a car driving next to you? What happens to your perception of your movement or the other car’s movement? In my experience, it always feels like I am getting closer to that car or the other car is swerving into our lane, when in reality neither is happening. It always freaks me out so I don’t do that anymore. lol

So this conversation got the attention of my husband (yay for small victories!). He has a work situation that this applies to. He recognized that his focus on his boss exhausts him. He feels his energy snuffed out when he interacts with her. He understood it was because he was focusing on her too much rather than just taking notice of her. To take notice of a human (ha just caught this! why did I write human?) is to look at them without judgement; to see them as they are and allow them to be that while allowing you to be you. The energy does not intermix.

It’s all a lesson on controlling your own energy (Self). It can be applied to all life situations which involve the exchange of energy. It also works in considering one’s resistance to things/people/situations.

The saying, “That which you resist, persists” stems from the noticing lesson, also. To resist something means you are putting your energy into resisting (fixating). Pushing against the energy. Sometimes even creating a ridge of energy (if you can imagine a mountain this is how it feels) to hold back the person/situation/thing. In a projection, resistance results in the loss of energy just like focus does. It is focus on avoidance.

I know this is a lot to digest. Even I am probably over thinking it, but I can see how it all connects and it is fascinating to me. All of it, everything we do, everything we are is energy. I will be more cognizant of my energy in the coming days. What am I giving away my energy to? Does it serve me to do so? If not, I need to reign it in.

 

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Dream: Protection

Meant to share this earlier.

Dream: Protection

I’m inside a house that is unfamiliar. It is a small house and there is a section (fireplace?) that is barred on three sides with wrought iron decorative railing/fencing. One section, however, is missing. The missing section is pointed out to me by my adviser. He shows me via telepathy a visual of someone sneaking into the house and taking it. This someone comes into the house frequently and takes things. Little things usually, so no one will notice them missing. The person is taking bigger things now, feeling brazen. The reason this someone can get inside is because the door was left unlocked. In fact, all the windows and doors to the house were unlocked. I remember stating that my husband is the culprit. He purposefully leaves the doors and windows unlocked. He does this with his car, too.

I walked across the street to an identical house. The door is wide open. Unlocked. I feel upset by this. I shut the door and there is concern. What will this person take next? How can I assure they won’t get back in when my husband purposefully leaves everything unlocked?

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I was concerned and a bit alarmed. My first thought was that I needed to put up protection, like the invoking the violet flame or putting a bubble of protective energy around myself. But this didn’t make sense. I felt protected in that way. So what is this dream about?

Then I thought that I needed to change all the passwords on my accounts. I did this, this morning just in case. lol Can’t be too careful.

The dream kept returning to me despite being lost more than once. I suspect there is a message in there about my marriage since it is my husband who leaves everything unlocked. Robbery symbolizes an identity crisis or loss in life. Leaving something unlocked represents a kind of insecurity; being left wide open to outside threat. I also feel I have no control over the actions of my husband based upon the second house and my feelings about it being left unlocked.

In considering this, I will say that recently our relationship has shifted quite a bit. My husband is being more allowing of my spiritual connections and beliefs. Not that he agrees with them, but that he is allowing me to have that, to be who I am. Of course, when it gets in the way of his wants and beliefs he quickly shifts gears. I don’t know what to think of it all really. Perhaps this is why I feel unable to control him in the dream? I don’t know what to expect anymore.

It could also be that I am letting my husband be in control of me/my life/my path and should not be. Perhaps he is a threat that I am not seeing? The allowance of him into my space is potentially harmful. He is stealing from me. Hmmm. Something to consider………Ugh that interpretation feels spot on. What do I do what that??? [insert expletives]. How do you lock out a spouse? Okay, don’t answer that question it’s rhetorical. Really. lol

 

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Geysers of Kundalini

When we were warned the energy would get more and more intense as this year progressed, I really didn’t think anything of it. But this energy intensity is through the roof and has been (for me at least) since the solstice. I am like a walking zombie most days. Lack of sleep, Kundalini energy pouring through me all.day.long, constant downloads of information, feeling a direct link with the universe/my Council/my Team. This is just way over my head (mind). I can’t keep up.

Thankfully, I did get some sleep last night. BUT – hahaha – guess what? Yep. The K visited. Surprise. Surprise. lol I laugh because that’s all I can do. It is kinda funny. My guides are probably all having popcorn, drinking beer and having a good ol’ time watching this movie that is my life. My Dad is probably there laughing so loud no one can hear what’s going on. Hi Dad! lol No one needs to “hear” anything anyway. It’s all visible in my aura of fireworks and firecrackers.

Dream: Geysers

I reported to a new teaching job. When I did, I was talking one-on-one with my supervisor who had black hair and was my age. He was asking me questions. The one I recall was: Do you like football or tennis? I knew he was asking because they probably wanted me to coach, but football? Really? lol I told him I liked tennis and use to play in high school. He wrote it down and then showed me a map of the Middle East. He pointed to Kuwait and then went over to Afghanistan and pointed at it. This confused me but I connected it to the position I was being considered for. It knew somehow the job was to teach history. The first country corresponded to football and the second to tennis (I know, weird!). The map was so vivid, too. It was like each “teacher” was stationed in a country to “teach”. I felt like I was about to be deployed to serve overseas.

He was about to leave when I asked, “Um, do I get my own classroom?” He replied, “We actually don’t know what position we will be putting you in yet.” Then it was like I was lifted up into the air by some unseen force. As I hovered there with someone I was shown a forest. We were just above the treeline and the forest was quite dense. Then I heard and saw multiple geysers erupting all over the forest.

The water from the geysers was powerful and they were exploding all around me. In this instant my root chakra exploded and a powerful surge of energy shot up through my lower chakras. This woke me up instantly and the surge continued. There was no controlling any of it so I just allowed it. Plus, it was quite pleasant anyway. LOL

Energy and Messages

Thankfully, the energy was bearable but it left me quite sexually frustrated. Lately, when the K hits me like this it leaves me feeling all “hot and bothered” as my mom would put it. This is the K everyone knows best. If you had asked me about Kundalini years ago my reply would have been “sexual energy”. I now know this is not completely true, but my most recent encounters with her are proving she does have quite a sexual appetite.

For approximately an hour I lay there unable to shut off the energy and my lower chakras remained lit up. My lower body felt completely hollow. It actually felt like I had no lower body the energy was so enormous there.

Some may wonder if actually having sex would fix this issue. My answer is – no. It would only exacerbate it. Trust me. lol My advice to anyone in the midst of this kind of energy: do nothing; allow. Oh and try to shut off your mind. That is really hard to do.

While waiting patiently for things to settle down, messages were constantly coming in via my crown. No shutting that down and there were so many that it will be hard to recount them all.

I saw a visual of a large, round watermelon whose fruit was almost completely gone. There were only a few remnants remaining and they were being spooned out. I understood this to be symbolic of my root chakra. It was being completely stripped down; emptied of its contents. I don’t really understand the symbolism but it was explained to me that when it was completely empty it would be refilled with “new” material/energy. The new energy would then surge into the above chakras and clean out any remaining residue in the same way.

With this I saw a pyramid with its base at my feet and the tip at my heart chakra. I was shown the energy filling up the pyramid. I heard with this very clearly: Ishtar. I also heard Ashtar. I feel this was purposeful as my dream indicated I was reporting for reassignment and I have had many memories of being on board ships and even meeting Ashtar himself.

Continued Energy Work

I was able to return to sleep (yay!) and fell into a dream in which I was filling a huge, empty swimming pool with water from a garden hose. I got dirty as I hauled the hose to the side of the pool. The pool itself was not made of concrete but of earth and huge chunks of mud were falling off the sides into the pool as I filled it. I remember watering the grass along the side to try and prevent this.

When I woke the energy was still present in my lower chakras and I could feel it move up, then recede. Up, down, up, down. Really weird. My crown was still active – wide open. Two Beings were positioned on either side of me. I was curled on my side at the time and I was told to lay on my back. When I did, I could hear tones in my ears. Right ear first, then left. I had the urge to reply with a vocalized tone, which did. Again, very strange.

Image source: http://www.clockworld.info/MX/photos/8923007/la-presa/

 

 

 

 

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Merkabah Activated

Too much energy this morning to get my thoughts in order. I feel like I am going to explode I have so much energy swirling inside me. Whoa!

I don’t think I got more than a couple of hours of sleep last night, if that much. The energy settled over me as soon as I laid down. It was unlike any energy sensation I have had before and that is saying a lot. My entire chest and torso was lit up in an energy beyond energy and my crown was wide open. The energy was so strong, so intense, that it made it impossible for me to get comfortable. My entire body was jumping and pulsating and shifting. And when I closed my eyes I got symbols and information and crazy, hectic energy in my head that caused me to feel like I was going to skyrocket into oblivion. Powerful beyond powerful beyond powerful.

I was higher than I have ever been while in body. And I was completely in my body. There was no OBE, no in-between state, no lucid dreams. All of this was while I was fully awake. I felt every bit of it.

I saw pages of symbols, as if someone had written me a letter or I was reading a book. I have no idea what the symbols were now, sorry. I recall being in a place that was familiar but not any place that I have been to on Earth. Maybe it was an astral city, maybe another planet. I don’t know. Everything was gold there, like a light, white gold color, not the yellow gold of the metal. People were gathering there from all over. It was breathtakingly beautiful with a central garden and stairs that led from all around into the garden. There were geometric symbols carved into the stone, specifically the Merkabah and various circular patterns similar to the flower of life.

There was a feeling inside me that was really explosive and alive. I had an almost excruciatingly strong desire to have a make-out session. LOL Not sure why. I just wanted to share what I was feeling. I kept wishing I wasn’t alone but did not act on it. My husband would NOT understand. He would immediately assume I was initiating sex with him. NOT what I wanted. I just had so much love to share. It was just pouring out of my entire Being. Not just my heart, but every single chakra.

I also got more information on Atlantis and the Kundalini. I am still processing it, though. Not sure when I will share it.

The most crazy, powerful part of last night/this morning was the vivid recollection of being inside the Merkabah, feeling the top portion descend and connect with the bottom portion. Then it was spinning all around me and the energy was crazy. I would fall asleep and be thrown into wakefulness over and over again. My mind was unable to keep up and I am not sure how my body didn’t go into convulsions.

When I finally got out of bed, a bit dazed but still experiencing the flood of energy (still am now), the Merkabah was vivid in my mind and I knew mine had been activated. I know it’s a “big deal”, too, but am not sure how or why and don’t really care. All I care about is channeling all of this energy right now.

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On Lucidity

Today I am reminded of a message recently given to me by my guidance:

“If you can take what you have learned via the dreamstate – via your OBEs, via your communications with US, via your inner journey – and apply it to your waking state consciously and with intent you will see that your upsets and dramas over seemingly very large ordeals are surely a waste of your time and a distraction away from your true purpose here. It is in availing yourself of the opportunities you have been given via your spiritual insights and experiences that you will find the most success in this lifetime.”

This message reminder came along with a common saying and one I believe to be true – What you resist, persists.

I am the queen of avoidance (resistance). LOL

So I began to think of my OBEs. What lessons have they taught me? Have I been applying those lessons to waking life?

The evidence will be noted in both my waking and dreamstates. The lessons needed to be learned are more evident in the dreamstate because thought instantly creates reality. Here, in physicality, not so evident. Slower.

Part of being consciously aware is being lucid in waking life, not just in your dreamstate. The amount of lucidity that you have while dreaming is directly proportional to the amount of lucidity you have in your waking life. This is because the dream and the “reality” are one in the same.

On a positive note, I have made huge gains as evident by my dreams. My dreams are blending with my waking state more and more frequently. Often I cannot distinguish one from the other. Did I dream that? Or did that really happen? The answer: Yes. To both. lol

I won’t say “negative” but as a student of life, there are still many, many lessons yet to be learned. My avoidance of certain areas of waking life is beginning to catch up to me. My guidance has been trying to show me in my dreams and OBEs but I do not see. I don’t want to see.

In an OBE, if I do not want to see something and try to avoid it two things might happen: 1. I wake up or 2. I am trapped within the scene until I recognize what it is that needs recognizing and then I am free to move out of that scene. If I wake up, guess what happens if I go OOB again? Yep, I go right back to the scene I left. LOL

This is exactly the same thing that happens in waking life, too, just more slowly and with spaces of time between so that we think we have avoided what we want to avoid. We think, “I am free of [insert hellish situation or that which you wish to avoid]!” Then in a few months, years, even another lifetime, there we find ourselves right back in that situation.

I am not dense, I know this, many of you know this as well. It is true. Life repeats itself until the Truth is seen (lessons learned). If something continues to present itself, there is something still unseen.

At present, I am reminded of an OBE where I continued to come back to my teenage bedroom in my mother’s house over and over (9 times at least) regardless of how hard I tried to escape. I didn’t stay to learn what I needed to learn, so I kept returning. I am reminded of how conscious I was of this while it was occurring. Not very. 😦 In fact, my lucidity has been quite poor for a while now. It has dropped just in the last year.

Similarly, I am reminded of my waking life now. How are my actions similar to my actions in the above OBE scenario? Hahaha Exactly the same. So the solution? Stop trying to leave. Stay put and let life show me what it needs to show me. The lessons are right there to be learned, I just keep resisting them, trying to run from them. Why? Who knows. Probably attachment to outcome. Yep, that’s it.

And in staying put, allowing and accepting my present situation without trying to escape it, what will I find? Who knows. The key is to not over think it. It will find me and when it does and when I allow myself to see that which it shows me, I will be freed of it. This freedom could just be an acceptance of it or even finding joy in it. Ultimately it will free me up to change the scene if I still wish to do so. In an OBE this would be me materializing in a completely new place. 🙂

All of this goes along with following the heart as well. The mind is the one trying to go somewhere else, to greener pastures of whatever. Lucidity (awareness) moves up gradually on a gradient specific to the individual. The heart will tell the mind what to see, not the other way around. In an OBE, if I am not heart centered I am in what I call “the child” personality. I get nowhere in that state usually, but I have a lot of fun doing it. lol The child has been running rampant too long and wreaking havoc on my waking life as well. Love her and lovingly put her in her place (cage her more like it lol).

I hope this makes sense to you all. If not take what does and leave the rest. Or you can label me whatever you like and move on. 😉

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The Temple of Atlantis

Hope you all enjoyed the holiday yesterday. I took the day off. Rested and relaxed as my recent dreams have been indicating I needed to do. Toward the end of the day I got an urge to do yoga so I did so for 50 minutes during which I got flashes of a dream in which I was doing the exact poses I was doing in the particular routine. Most of the poses were for the sacral chakra, which was interesting.

I was awakened around 11:30am by another intense Kundalini dream experience which followed me into wakefulness. This was by far the most profound one yet. I know I keep saying that, bear with me. They just keep getting more and more profound!

Dream: Initiation by the Sisterhood

I don’t recall much of the dream. My sister was the primary focal point, though she was not really my sister but a “sister” character. I remember she was trying to encourage me to do something I normally wouldn’t do (typical of my real-life sister lol). I considered it sexual in nature and so interpreted it as such in the dream. She had asked me to curl up in child’s pose to allow her to insert something into my root chakra (you can see why I thought it was sexual!). I don’t know what she was inserting but when she did it woke me up straight away. Not because it hurt or sent a sexual sensation through my body, but because of the tremendously powerful energy that it created within me and the accompanying visions received.

I am now going to separate into sections my experiences. Be advised that all of the following occurred at the same time. It was instantaneous and very powerful.

swaryoga2top

The Kundalini Experience

I saw that she inserted what appeared to be a scepter or a rod of some sort. Never did I feel a sensation of this (thank God) but instead felt a burst of energy in my root chakra that was intensely powerful. It rumbled there, smoldering and waiting as if preparing to explode. At the same instant, a hollow, tube-like structure seemed to form up the central part of my body. One would think this means it followed my spine, but it felt to be in the very center of me and it was quite wide, probably at least as wide as the cardboard tube that holds paper towels. This I know to be Sushumna, the central channel, or nadi, through which the Kundalini flows. I felt Sushumna – every living, breathing inch of it.

Sushumna rose slowly and deliberately. When it reached a chakra that chakra would activate and when it did it felt like a warm, swirling ball of energy. I felt every one my chakras activate all the way to my crown. In the end, Sushumna was felt from my root all the way to my crown as well and I felt frozen in the position in which I found myself.

I was awake through the majority of this experience and it did not in itself alarm me. This is because the Kundalini was not at it’s full intensity. The root was contained but I did feel very intensely my heart and crown. I suspect had I been looking at my energy body at this time that I would have looked like a light show….or perhaps firework display? 🙂

Visions

The part that most alarmed me was that while still awake and experiencing the Kundalini I had the most realistic visions I have ever experienced and that is saying a lot. There was a merging of consciousness at this time that was experienced. That is the best explanation I can give. The feeling was like being sucked into a scene. My consciousness literally was pulled into another Time and place. Or maybe it was the present for there seemed to be no Time at all really. When I try to make sense of it or picture what it must have looked like, I think it must have looked like a blending of my mind with another’s. The image is like my entire head being stretched until it blurs and blends with the scene. Crazy, right!? lol I felt like I was tripping out but that even doesn’t come close to an accurate description.

The visions alarmed me. Not because they were scary but because they were familiar to me. I knew what I was seeing and understood it completely. There was instant Knowing. It was like, “Oh yeah, I remember now.”

I saw something even I am struggling to believe so bear with me and keep an open mind.

There was standing on either side of me two priests (not sure what else to call them). They were wearing distinctive clothing unlike any I have ever seen. It was like a mixture of Egyptian and Mayan. They were holding staves in their hands that were lit with fire on top. Everything was golden in color and the room seemed to be ablaze with fire but it was not hot and the only fire I saw was atop the staves.

These two priests were familiar and I had sudden Knowingness that what I was going through was practiced for thousands of years. It was a rite of passage, an initiation and connected to the priesthood.

At the same time, someone was talking to me but I did not see him. I heard him from all around me as if he were everywhere. I can’t remember now what all he said, but his voice was booming and it felt very surreal. I heard what sounded like Temple of Alantis (note it did NOT sound like Atlantis for there was no “T” heard).

I want to explain how this vision felt a little more. It felt like I was one with the scene. It was not just experiencing it as if I was present there. It was like the knowledge contained in it flowed as one with me. It was as if the Knowledge was mine when received; as if it had always been there.

By this time I was able to sit up and function as normal while this merged state continued (yeah I don’t know how either). I got out a pen and paper and began to write what I was receiving.

I see two priests holding staves of fire on the temple stairs. Steep pyramid rising up behind them resembling a Mayan temple. Fire everywhere. It is as if they [the priests] look into my soul and I looked into theirs. As if I can see into Time or maybe Time is within me. My root is filled with energy and all chakras are lit up but not completely. This is the Pillar; establishment of the Pillar. A rite of passage, one traveled by the initiates of the Temple of Alantis (Atlantis?). I hear Alantis but I think Atlantis. Where’s the T? Vast amounts of knowledge held here. I feel a part of me is activated. I am asked/told I am to do this – be a part of this – lighting the fires within. I am told the fires will rage within me and cannot be put out.

OMG I see the Temple again. There is a massive golden globe lit up with fire from within. It is hanging or hovering at the top of the stairs in the center of the Temple. it spins and the continents are glowing. They do not look like the ones from today. The Arc of the Covenant is from here – it contained ancient knowledge. It [the knowledge] was lost – burned – destroyed.

These images feel sacred in my mind – they are a part of me and these priests are as well. This is my ancient heritage.

There is memory that I did not write down at the time, but I will share now. It was that when Atlantis was destroyed priests (individuals) were sent out with the knowledge they were able to save. They were to share it so that it was not lost, but vast amounts of knowledge were still lost. Some was buried, but most was destroyed over time or distorted over time.

There was Knowing that I was going to receive this knowledge. I was not afraid of it nor was I nervous even.

There was memory of dedicating our lives to our “ancestors in the sky”. I don’t recall doing this myself per se. It was more like We did this but it was the shared memory of it rather than my own. Hard to describe.

My Considerations Afterward

After the energy settled and the merging ended, I was looking at my guides and thinking they were playing a joke on me, laughing at me from wherever they are. This is their personality so I wouldn’t put it past them. Ha!

I, personally, have little to no interest in Atlantis, Egypt, the Maya, or any of this part of our past other than a slight fascination and curiosity. The past life memory I have of being a priestess in Egypt was clarified. I don’t think it was Egypt that I saw/remembered from the life. It was most likely Atlantis. But now I am not sure. Maybe it was Egypt. Maybe it was Meso America. Maybe it was Atlantis. What I saw in this recent merging seemed to mix the two known civilizations. Which is which? Who knows.

All I know for sure is that the Kundalini is REAL. I felt it. And it is ALIVE. This is not just some energy that brings orgasmic sensations. It brings Knowledge far beyond anything I have ever experienced. I experienced BEING the Kundalini. WTF right? lol And the Kundalini wasn’t even fully active. I can’t imagine what I am about to experience as it is clear that I am prepped and ready for whatever it to come. Sushumna is open; completely clear (I felt it up to my crown) and ready. I should be excited, but I’m not. It still feels very much like a dream. And even if I am to receive this knowledge from the past, what am I suppose to do with it anyway? Oh, probably write a book. We’ll see if I am given the tools to do that as I feel completely unprepared and my knowledge inadequate for such a task.

And why did I hear Alantis and not Atlantis??

Edit: I wanted to add, when I awoke and the K was rising, I could still hear fireworks being set off in the neighborhood. I also believe that had I looked at the clock when I first woke up that it would have been 11:11pm. Wish I had looked.