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Merkabah Activated

Too much energy this morning to get my thoughts in order. I feel like I am going to explode I have so much energy swirling inside me. Whoa!

I don’t think I got more than a couple of hours of sleep last night, if that much. The energy settled over me as soon as I laid down. It was unlike any energy sensation I have had before and that is saying a lot. My entire chest and torso was lit up in an energy beyond energy and my crown was wide open. The energy was so strong, so intense, that it made it impossible for me to get comfortable. My entire body was jumping and pulsating and shifting. And when I closed my eyes I got symbols and information and crazy, hectic energy in my head that caused me to feel like I was going to skyrocket into oblivion. Powerful beyond powerful beyond powerful.

I was higher than I have ever been while in body. And I was completely in my body. There was no OBE, no in-between state, no lucid dreams. All of this was while I was fully awake. I felt every bit of it.

I saw pages of symbols, as if someone had written me a letter or I was reading a book. I have no idea what the symbols were now, sorry. I recall being in a place that was familiar but not any place that I have been to on Earth. Maybe it was an astral city, maybe another planet. I don’t know. Everything was gold there, like a light, white gold color, not the yellow gold of the metal. People were gathering there from all over. It was breathtakingly beautiful with a central garden and stairs that led from all around into the garden. There were geometric symbols carved into the stone, specifically the Merkabah and various circular patterns similar to the flower of life.

There was a feeling inside me that was really explosive and alive. I had an almost excruciatingly strong desire to have a make-out session. LOL Not sure why. I just wanted to share what I was feeling. I kept wishing I wasn’t alone but did not act on it. My husband would NOT understand. He would immediately assume I was initiating sex with him. NOT what I wanted. I just had so much love to share. It was just pouring out of my entire Being. Not just my heart, but every single chakra.

I also got more information on Atlantis and the Kundalini. I am still processing it, though. Not sure when I will share it.

The most crazy, powerful part of last night/this morning was the vivid recollection of being inside the Merkabah, feeling the top portion descend and connect with the bottom portion. Then it was spinning all around me and the energy was crazy. I would fall asleep and be thrown into wakefulness over and over again. My mind was unable to keep up and I am not sure how my body didn’t go into convulsions.

When I finally got out of bed, a bit dazed but still experiencing the flood of energy (still am now), the Merkabah was vivid in my mind and I knew mine had been activated. I know it’s a “big deal”, too, but am not sure how or why and don’t really care. All I care about is channeling all of this energy right now.

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On Lucidity

Today I am reminded of a message recently given to me by my guidance:

“If you can take what you have learned via the dreamstate – via your OBEs, via your communications with US, via your inner journey – and apply it to your waking state consciously and with intent you will see that your upsets and dramas over seemingly very large ordeals are surely a waste of your time and a distraction away from your true purpose here. It is in availing yourself of the opportunities you have been given via your spiritual insights and experiences that you will find the most success in this lifetime.”

This message reminder came along with a common saying and one I believe to be true – What you resist, persists.

I am the queen of avoidance (resistance). LOL

So I began to think of my OBEs. What lessons have they taught me? Have I been applying those lessons to waking life?

The evidence will be noted in both my waking and dreamstates. The lessons needed to be learned are more evident in the dreamstate because thought instantly creates reality. Here, in physicality, not so evident. Slower.

Part of being consciously aware is being lucid in waking life, not just in your dreamstate. The amount of lucidity that you have while dreaming is directly proportional to the amount of lucidity you have in your waking life. This is because the dream and the “reality” are one in the same.

On a positive note, I have made huge gains as evident by my dreams. My dreams are blending with my waking state more and more frequently. Often I cannot distinguish one from the other. Did I dream that? Or did that really happen? The answer: Yes. To both. lol

I won’t say “negative” but as a student of life, there are still many, many lessons yet to be learned. My avoidance of certain areas of waking life is beginning to catch up to me. My guidance has been trying to show me in my dreams and OBEs but I do not see. I don’t want to see.

In an OBE, if I do not want to see something and try to avoid it two things might happen: 1. I wake up or 2. I am trapped within the scene until I recognize what it is that needs recognizing and then I am free to move out of that scene. If I wake up, guess what happens if I go OOB again? Yep, I go right back to the scene I left. LOL

This is exactly the same thing that happens in waking life, too, just more slowly and with spaces of time between so that we think we have avoided what we want to avoid. We think, “I am free of [insert hellish situation or that which you wish to avoid]!” Then in a few months, years, even another lifetime, there we find ourselves right back in that situation.

I am not dense, I know this, many of you know this as well. It is true. Life repeats itself until the Truth is seen (lessons learned). If something continues to present itself, there is something still unseen.

At present, I am reminded of an OBE where I continued to come back to my teenage bedroom in my mother’s house over and over (9 times at least) regardless of how hard I tried to escape. I didn’t stay to learn what I needed to learn, so I kept returning. I am reminded of how conscious I was of this while it was occurring. Not very. 😦 In fact, my lucidity has been quite poor for a while now. It has dropped just in the last year.

Similarly, I am reminded of my waking life now. How are my actions similar to my actions in the above OBE scenario? Hahaha Exactly the same. So the solution? Stop trying to leave. Stay put and let life show me what it needs to show me. The lessons are right there to be learned, I just keep resisting them, trying to run from them. Why? Who knows. Probably attachment to outcome. Yep, that’s it.

And in staying put, allowing and accepting my present situation without trying to escape it, what will I find? Who knows. The key is to not over think it. It will find me and when it does and when I allow myself to see that which it shows me, I will be freed of it. This freedom could just be an acceptance of it or even finding joy in it. Ultimately it will free me up to change the scene if I still wish to do so. In an OBE this would be me materializing in a completely new place. 🙂

All of this goes along with following the heart as well. The mind is the one trying to go somewhere else, to greener pastures of whatever. Lucidity (awareness) moves up gradually on a gradient specific to the individual. The heart will tell the mind what to see, not the other way around. In an OBE, if I am not heart centered I am in what I call “the child” personality. I get nowhere in that state usually, but I have a lot of fun doing it. lol The child has been running rampant too long and wreaking havoc on my waking life as well. Love her and lovingly put her in her place (cage her more like it lol).

I hope this makes sense to you all. If not take what does and leave the rest. Or you can label me whatever you like and move on. 😉

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The Temple of Atlantis

Hope you all enjoyed the holiday yesterday. I took the day off. Rested and relaxed as my recent dreams have been indicating I needed to do. Toward the end of the day I got an urge to do yoga so I did so for 50 minutes during which I got flashes of a dream in which I was doing the exact poses I was doing in the particular routine. Most of the poses were for the sacral chakra, which was interesting.

I was awakened around 11:30am by another intense Kundalini dream experience which followed me into wakefulness. This was by far the most profound one yet. I know I keep saying that, bear with me. They just keep getting more and more profound!

Dream: Initiation by the Sisterhood

I don’t recall much of the dream. My sister was the primary focal point, though she was not really my sister but a “sister” character. I remember she was trying to encourage me to do something I normally wouldn’t do (typical of my real-life sister lol). I considered it sexual in nature and so interpreted it as such in the dream. She had asked me to curl up in child’s pose to allow her to insert something into my root chakra (you can see why I thought it was sexual!). I don’t know what she was inserting but when she did it woke me up straight away. Not because it hurt or sent a sexual sensation through my body, but because of the tremendously powerful energy that it created within me and the accompanying visions received.

I am now going to separate into sections my experiences. Be advised that all of the following occurred at the same time. It was instantaneous and very powerful.

swaryoga2top

The Kundalini Experience

I saw that she inserted what appeared to be a scepter or a rod of some sort. Never did I feel a sensation of this (thank God) but instead felt a burst of energy in my root chakra that was intensely powerful. It rumbled there, smoldering and waiting as if preparing to explode. At the same instant, a hollow, tube-like structure seemed to form up the central part of my body. One would think this means it followed my spine, but it felt to be in the very center of me and it was quite wide, probably at least as wide as the cardboard tube that holds paper towels. This I know to be Sushumna, the central channel, or nadi, through which the Kundalini flows. I felt Sushumna – every living, breathing inch of it.

Sushumna rose slowly and deliberately. When it reached a chakra that chakra would activate and when it did it felt like a warm, swirling ball of energy. I felt every one my chakras activate all the way to my crown. In the end, Sushumna was felt from my root all the way to my crown as well and I felt frozen in the position in which I found myself.

I was awake through the majority of this experience and it did not in itself alarm me. This is because the Kundalini was not at it’s full intensity. The root was contained but I did feel very intensely my heart and crown. I suspect had I been looking at my energy body at this time that I would have looked like a light show….or perhaps firework display? 🙂

Visions

The part that most alarmed me was that while still awake and experiencing the Kundalini I had the most realistic visions I have ever experienced and that is saying a lot. There was a merging of consciousness at this time that was experienced. That is the best explanation I can give. The feeling was like being sucked into a scene. My consciousness literally was pulled into another Time and place. Or maybe it was the present for there seemed to be no Time at all really. When I try to make sense of it or picture what it must have looked like, I think it must have looked like a blending of my mind with another’s. The image is like my entire head being stretched until it blurs and blends with the scene. Crazy, right!? lol I felt like I was tripping out but that even doesn’t come close to an accurate description.

The visions alarmed me. Not because they were scary but because they were familiar to me. I knew what I was seeing and understood it completely. There was instant Knowing. It was like, “Oh yeah, I remember now.”

I saw something even I am struggling to believe so bear with me and keep an open mind.

There was standing on either side of me two priests (not sure what else to call them). They were wearing distinctive clothing unlike any I have ever seen. It was like a mixture of Egyptian and Mayan. They were holding staves in their hands that were lit with fire on top. Everything was golden in color and the room seemed to be ablaze with fire but it was not hot and the only fire I saw was atop the staves.

These two priests were familiar and I had sudden Knowingness that what I was going through was practiced for thousands of years. It was a rite of passage, an initiation and connected to the priesthood.

At the same time, someone was talking to me but I did not see him. I heard him from all around me as if he were everywhere. I can’t remember now what all he said, but his voice was booming and it felt very surreal. I heard what sounded like Temple of Alantis (note it did NOT sound like Atlantis for there was no “T” heard).

I want to explain how this vision felt a little more. It felt like I was one with the scene. It was not just experiencing it as if I was present there. It was like the knowledge contained in it flowed as one with me. It was as if the Knowledge was mine when received; as if it had always been there.

By this time I was able to sit up and function as normal while this merged state continued (yeah I don’t know how either). I got out a pen and paper and began to write what I was receiving.

I see two priests holding staves of fire on the temple stairs. Steep pyramid rising up behind them resembling a Mayan temple. Fire everywhere. It is as if they [the priests] look into my soul and I looked into theirs. As if I can see into Time or maybe Time is within me. My root is filled with energy and all chakras are lit up but not completely. This is the Pillar; establishment of the Pillar. A rite of passage, one traveled by the initiates of the Temple of Alantis (Atlantis?). I hear Alantis but I think Atlantis. Where’s the T? Vast amounts of knowledge held here. I feel a part of me is activated. I am asked/told I am to do this – be a part of this – lighting the fires within. I am told the fires will rage within me and cannot be put out.

OMG I see the Temple again. There is a massive golden globe lit up with fire from within. It is hanging or hovering at the top of the stairs in the center of the Temple. it spins and the continents are glowing. They do not look like the ones from today. The Arc of the Covenant is from here – it contained ancient knowledge. It [the knowledge] was lost – burned – destroyed.

These images feel sacred in my mind – they are a part of me and these priests are as well. This is my ancient heritage.

There is memory that I did not write down at the time, but I will share now. It was that when Atlantis was destroyed priests (individuals) were sent out with the knowledge they were able to save. They were to share it so that it was not lost, but vast amounts of knowledge were still lost. Some was buried, but most was destroyed over time or distorted over time.

There was Knowing that I was going to receive this knowledge. I was not afraid of it nor was I nervous even.

There was memory of dedicating our lives to our “ancestors in the sky”. I don’t recall doing this myself per se. It was more like We did this but it was the shared memory of it rather than my own. Hard to describe.

My Considerations Afterward

After the energy settled and the merging ended, I was looking at my guides and thinking they were playing a joke on me, laughing at me from wherever they are. This is their personality so I wouldn’t put it past them. Ha!

I, personally, have little to no interest in Atlantis, Egypt, the Maya, or any of this part of our past other than a slight fascination and curiosity. The past life memory I have of being a priestess in Egypt was clarified. I don’t think it was Egypt that I saw/remembered from the life. It was most likely Atlantis. But now I am not sure. Maybe it was Egypt. Maybe it was Meso America. Maybe it was Atlantis. What I saw in this recent merging seemed to mix the two known civilizations. Which is which? Who knows.

All I know for sure is that the Kundalini is REAL. I felt it. And it is ALIVE. This is not just some energy that brings orgasmic sensations. It brings Knowledge far beyond anything I have ever experienced. I experienced BEING the Kundalini. WTF right? lol And the Kundalini wasn’t even fully active. I can’t imagine what I am about to experience as it is clear that I am prepped and ready for whatever it to come. Sushumna is open; completely clear (I felt it up to my crown) and ready. I should be excited, but I’m not. It still feels very much like a dream. And even if I am to receive this knowledge from the past, what am I suppose to do with it anyway? Oh, probably write a book. We’ll see if I am given the tools to do that as I feel completely unprepared and my knowledge inadequate for such a task.

And why did I hear Alantis and not Atlantis??

Edit: I wanted to add, when I awoke and the K was rising, I could still hear fireworks being set off in the neighborhood. I also believe that had I looked at the clock when I first woke up that it would have been 11:11pm. Wish I had looked.

 

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Dreams: Renewing Vows and Cat and Owl

Some more vivid dreams.

Dream: Renewing Vows

I was in a small dress shop with an older girlfriend and her daughter. She was taking me to the dresses, discussing which one’s we would buy. They had chosen these very gaudy, gowns with petticoats that made it nearly impossible for them to sit down. I remember saying that I wanted something less dressy, more casual. I looked at a slinky gown of white and gold. The older lady friend said, “Are you sure? You should go all-out for this!” I knew the event we were preparing for was my marriage ceremony, only this one was a renewal ceremony. We were already married.

We entered a restaurant and sat down at a table together to have dinner. Everyone seemed quite happy and excited but I was not feeling this way. I don’t remember what everyone was talking about but I felt like a whole lot of time was missing from my memory. I didn’t remember getting married and I definitely would not hang out with people like this. Who were they anyway?

My husband, who I did not recognize and seems only like a blur in my memory now, offered me a drink. It was orange colored and he said it was alcoholic. He said, “Give it a try. It is good. See for yourself.” I took the small cup of orange liquid and drank it. It tasted like juice. I said, “There’s no way this is alcoholic.” Everyone laughed but me.

Interpretation

The feeling here is that I was being reminded that my Counterpart and I were married and had been since the beginning of time. I do not recall this, of course, but a part of me does. In this dream the upcoming marriage was being discussed and was considered a renewal of vows because that is technically what it is. I was not comfortable with the situation because I have so many gaps in my memory that none of it fits. So I was downplaying the whole thing, thus choosing a less gaudy dress than the others. The orange drink is curious. I fully expected a strong alcoholic flavor but instead tasted the most sweetest juice I had ever tasted. Orange as a color denotes feeling fully alive.

Dream: Cat and Owl

The scene was inside an unfamiliar house. I was with my sister-in-law and she was talking about having another baby. She was also very concerned about money, trying to figure out where all of hers went and how to make ends meet. I was helping her with her considerations and talking to her about her budget.

I began to get semi-lucid in this dream. The signs were there to wake me up within the dream, but I never quite caught on.

I went into a room and then turned around and the door was missing. This made me feel very off and I got dizzy and disoriented within the dream for a moment. I touched the wall to reestablish myself in the scene. I could feel the texture and coolness of it and see the beige coloring. Afterward, I spotted the door and went back through it. My SIL said to me, “Hey, didn’t you go in the door over there? How did you come out here?” I was as confused as she was.

Then I was outside standing in the middle of a sidewalk. I was talking to someone but can’t remember about what and I do not remember seeing anyone there. Right in front of me, standing there staring at me, was the largest owl I had ever seen. He just stared at me and seemed almost like a statue except that he would occasionally blink his eyes. He was probably about the height of a small child, so very large. Larger than any owl I had ever seen.

I remember thinking I should take a picture because this was by far the strangest thing I had ever seen. At this point I was convinced the dream was real – this was really happening. Then a very large, orange, tabby cat approached me. He was nice but also way bigger than any normal cat should be. He came up to me purring and I petted him on the head but had the thought I should be careful because cats can be unpredictable and he might decide to bite me for no reason.

Then the cat went and stood right next to the massive owl and they both just stared at me.

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I felt myself come back into my body similar to what I feel when returning from an OBE. Yet I was not lucid enough in the dream to recognize this.

The owl is still very vivid in my mind. He was HUGE. And so strange. His head was very smooth with no feathers poking up indicative of the Great Horned Own who is my main animal totem. He was the typical mottled brown I am use to seeing and his eyes were yellowish.

Owls are symbolic of the subconscious, of expanded awareness, mysticism, and all things spiritual. They can see “beyond”.

The orange cat was also huge and stood nearly the same height as the owl. I have not seen cats for a while in my dreams. They typically symbolize feminine sexuality and sensuality. The orange, like in the dream before, is feeling alive and tuned into one’ senses. I kept worrying it would bite me, probably because I am worried my own sexual tendencies will bite me if I give into them. lol

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Velantium

I awoke around midnight from another dream experience that has me a bit shaken.

Dream: John 3:16

I was alone in a dark room. Prior to this there had been a brief episode of sliding down tubes similar to being on a water slide. I stood in the center of the this room and a light was shining down on me from above. I could not see the source of the light. The room was made of rough, dark stone and reminded me of a dungeon.

Scripture was being read aloud. I was reciting it. The specific scripture that I kept repeating was John 3:16:  

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

I was reciting other parts of this chapter of John, too, but I don’t remember it.

Eventually I was screaming this up at the light, hoping someone would hear me. I could hear others reciting the scriptures with me but I couldn’t see them. I remember being both the person standing there and the Observer of the scene. As the Observer I saw that the me standing there was draped in chains.

As I became more and more lucid, the scripture became more prominent and the scene less so. I focused on the 3:16 and somehow felt it corresponded to the month of March – March, 16 (2016).

Message: Velantium

I awoke from this dream with a start and feeling as if I had just been drowning. There was a panic I felt but it was not overwhelming. I was also very confused and disoriented so it took me a few seconds to get my bearings.

There was a group nearby in the shadows. I recognized them but because I was in such a frantic state still, their energy scared me and caused me to doubt their intentions. One Being stepped forward, just a silhouette. He had on his head a pointy headdress, which he took off and placed on the ground as he knelt in front of me. I recognized the headdress. I had seen it in a recent OBE on the lady/angel who had been standing over me. What was it? Was it a crown? Was it a helmet of some sort? Why was it pointy? And then I noticed all the others with who accompanied this Being who was kneeling down wore similar headdresses.

There came with this scene before me a feeling of not wanting to experience this, whatever it was. There was also a fear of what it meant and a knowing that it was not going to just “go away”. In realizing this there was an ever more fierce desire to escape the inescapable.

The group before me, whatever their origins, whoever they were, began to transmit messages. I was unable to do anything about receiving them. If I tried to remain awake, I was pulled into the in-between where visions and messages seemed to flood my mind.

I received this message:

17,900 years of waiting.

A great flood (vision of a room being flooded and feeling of connection to Altantis).

An army of mystics returns.

Velantium.

Eventually I returned to sleep. When I awoke later I felt calmer but the dream experience was still vivid in my mind. There still is a feeling that this, whatever it is, will not stop. It makes me feel a bit crazy on the one hand but on the other I feel totally sane, maybe more sane than ever.

I felt very much connected to the vision that came with the above message. I recognized it somehow. There was a conversation somewhere in the night with my guides reminding me that I could not ignore “the call”. The feeling is so intense that I want only to withdraw completely from this spiritual path and immerse myself in mundane things just to feel normal again.

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Dreams from Last Night

Dreams from last night. Probably why I woke up in a bad mood. lol

Dream: Keys to Any Car

I was in a mall-type environment at a gathering of teachers. While waiting I browsed a shop and dilly dallied around a while trying to decide whether I wanted to buy anything there or not. There were candles and other novelty items. I remember looking at a pillow for my daughter with a unicorn on it. It was $12 and I thought that too much.

I left the store to find some food but the food court there was made up of fast food type places, all of which I wanted nothing to do with. I wandered here and there, stepping over a bunch of sleeping people laid out on the floor. What was odd here is the floor was bright white and all the people were laying under white blankets.

I finally went through some doors that led to the parking lot. Suddenly I was not alone. There was a man with me who I never saw directly. We seemed to share thoughts. I remember thinking, ” I forgot where I parked my car.” I held my key fob in my hand and pressed it, hoping it would make my car beep and flash its lights. It did make a car’s lights flash and I heard a strange beeping that seemed similar to Morse Code. I went up to the car but since it wasn’t mine (it was a Datsun), I stepped back. My friend said, “Looks like your keys fit this car.” I said, “But it’s not mine.” He said, “It could be yours.” Then he held out his hand and there were two more key fobs. One was black, the other silver and much smaller. I looked at it and remember thinking, “All of these cars are mine.”  This is when I realized the entire parking lot was dusted in snow.

I went back inside and all the food shops were closing up. I was really hungry by this time and wished I had just gotten some of the Asian food there. I saw the Asian shop closing up and asked a young Asian lady why she was closing. She said, “It’s 1pm. Closing time.”

imagesInterpretation

Mall = choices and decisions in one’s life.

Pillow = comfort, relaxation and taking it easy on one’s self. Looks like I don’t want to take it easy on myself.

12 = message from one’s guides to not be hindered by old habits that need to be changed. Try to look at new experiences in a positive way.

Unicorn = idealism, hope and/or insight into a situation. It can also represent one-sided views.

White = purity, new beginnings, awakening, or a blank slate.

Sleeping people = aspects of my subconscious that I am not alert to. I see it as me not wanting to be alert to them because I avoid them.

Keys = opportunity.

Lost Car = dissatisfaction with some aspect of life. It means I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. This is my life story. lol

Snow = inhibitions. Something is holding me back.

Food = nourishment of one’s body, mind, soul, emotions, etc. I was wishing I had not delayed so long in choosing the food I wanted to eat.

Dream: Adopted Girl

I was presented with a tiny, Australian Shepherd puppy, a tri-colored one. I cradled it in my arms and saw it quite clearly. So cute! Someone was taking newborn photos of it and as soon as I recognized this, the puppy turned into a newborn baby girl. There was discussion as to whether I wanted to keep it. At first I wanted to. She was so cute. But then I worried about her being adopted. Who was her mother? What would she look like? What would she be like? Yet I kept snuggling her close. I instantly loved her.

Then it was like some time passed and I was inside this room with so many people that it almost seemed crowded. We were all sitting on couches with giant pillows. The main color was green but I also saw some in blue. I was discussing my baby with someone and ended up on a walkway in my mind during this discussion. I was with children who were running and playing. I ran after them and came upon a small, shrub-like tree laden with tiny, green, round fruit. I said, “Wow! There are 50 fruits on this tree!” The man with me said, “Yes, it’s an old avocado tree.” I said, “I love avocado!” He said, “Look on the ground. There may be some ripe ones still.” I looked and found several large avocados but they were all over ripe and no good for eating. The man said, “The tree is very old and nearing the end of its life.”

Then I was back in the room with all the people but I was sitting right in the middle of the avocado tree. I reached down and felt the over ripe avocados below me. Then, I saw very clearly a young woman with very white blonde hair. I knew instantly she was my daughter, the one who had just been a baby. I saw another blonde girl on the other side of the room. She was a bit younger and I knew she was the girl’s sister. What was odd is that everyone in the room had dark hair except these two girls (an myself I assume). The girl who was my daughter had earned the reputation of being very sexually promiscuous, unfortunately. I was not unhappy about it but remember seeing her flaunting her breasts and thinking she was very beautiful.

Interpretation

Puppy = playfulness or a blossoming friendship.

Baby = innocence and new beginnings. The fact that I was questioning whether to keep her indicates my uncertainty regarding the new beginning.

Pillows (again) = I need to take it easy, relax.

Green = healing

Blue = communication.

Avocado = rewards for hard work and persistence towards a goal. Being those on the tree were still maturing indicates that there is still some time to go before this goal is reached. The ones over ripe could indicate goals that have already been reached, the rewards for which have not yet been acknowledged.

Tree = hopes, desires, knowledge, self-development and individuation. Since the tree is nearing the end of its life it could indicate that this time in my life is nearing its end as well.

Hair = sensuality, seduction, vanity. Being it is white it could indicate potential exists here. I suspect that I am still struggling with these aspects of myself and so seeing it as my daughter.

images (1)Dream: School Bus

I was flying with a girl near a highway overpass. It was crowded with cars and we both flew up and selected a blue car to follow. I remember becoming the car and speeding down the road.

Then I was inside a school bus. My husband was driving. He was driving very reckless and was not being very nice, yelling about the traffic, etc. I remember looking out of the window at one point and seeing a family sitting in the back of a trailer. They were helping their son sell hamburgers to people so he could earn extra money. I remember being very impressed and telling my husband. He only focused on the fact that they were selling hamburgers which were not good for people.

The traffic slowed and I saw the cars stopped ahead. My husband yelled to me, “What road should we be on! Tell me now! Hurry! What road??” I could see highway 79 and told him, “79. Take that exit.” I pointed and he followed and I felt the bus lurch as he swerved and then slowed to take the exit. The last thing I remember was noticing that the exit had what appeared to be fencing on either side and a very sharp, 90 degree turn.

Interpretation

Car = life path. Being it is one on the highway overpass, perhaps I am choosing the “high road”? lol

Blue = communication.

School bus = indicates that an important life journey is about to take place, one that is needed for my spiritual growth. Considering my husband is driving and not being nice, I do not think I  will like this path. lol

Hamburger = dissatisfaction with some situation or relationship in your life. I know what that is. I talk about selling them and my husband doesn’t like it. Ha!

79 = shedding old aspects of life that no longer suit me or my True Self. It indicates that certain issues are coming to an end allowing for the new to come into my life.

Fence = obstacle that is standing in my way; feeling “fenced in” or confined within a relationship.

 

 

 

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On Dreams and Expectations

I’ve gotten several indicators that today is the day of my “new birthday”. Yet nothing so far has happened. I slept hard for the first time in over a week, though. Yay! I fasted all day on the 2nd as instructed, but it was a juice fast since I couldn’t handle no food at all. I even got to astral project during a nap twice yesterday! So why didn’t the Kundalini rising continue as foretold? Probably because I’m a schmuck.

I was not in a good mood when I woke up either. I was mad because there was no K energy and nothing happened after I spent all day fasting. I was being very hard on myself for falling for this “nonsense” – all of it from my connections to my Council, to Twin Flames, and soul exchanges. I even had it in my head to just stop writing in my blogs altogether. I have been doing so for long enough anyway – since 2011! 5 years of writing and I could have written several books in all that time instead of babbling away about random spiritual life happenings, dreams, OBEs and my rambling considerations of such things.

Taken In-Between

One of my guides was very close and I was pulled into the in-between where he was standing next to me. His size and coloring were immediately  apparent. He stood at least two feet taller than me and his coloration was of greens and blues that seemed to shift and move as if he were iridescent. Unfortunately, I could not see his face. He was most definitely not human!

We were inside a small viewing porticus looking over a beautiful, expansive city that extended as far as I could see. The land upon which the city was situated was very flat and I could see lights dotted about and in lines zig-zagging here and there indicating buildings and movement similar to one of our Earth cities. I was surprised to be there with him but immediately disinterested, feeling he was trying to distract me with other worldly delights. But this was not his intent at all. He spoke to me about this city, even giving it a location in space. I lost the name of the location almost immediately but knew this was a grand city whose primary purpose wast to extract a certain mineral resource that was not available on Earth. I recognized we were standing in some kind of viewing window overlooking this city from high above. I suspected then we were on some sort of space craft.

The mere presence of his energy caused me to immediately shift into my heart space. It’s like he flipped a switch and my mind shut down and my heart opened up.

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Discussing Expectation

Then he was talking to me, discussing expectation. I am upset because I feel I am not allowed to have future expectations. I think, “But this is what motivates me and gives me something to look forward to!”

My guide gave an example, then. He said, “If a man is shot, does he not bleed?” Yes, of course. Then he said, “There are some things you know will happen.” And the word, “Science” came to mind followed by the all familiar phrase (Newton’s Third Law of Motion), “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”

I thought about it and I understood. Sure. Whatever. That still makes me feel like crap because the information I get about spiritual things is by no means scientific. I have not studied what I am going through and neither have very many others. It is hard to find information about the K energy, about spiritual awakening, about all the stuff I am experiencing. There seems no specific pattern, no clear-cut stages, no “if this happens, then this happens”. It all seems up to chance.

My guide then explained that having hopes/dreams is not the same as having expectations or attaching to a certain expectation/outcome. It is the attachment to a certain outcome – the “putting all your eggs in one basket” approach – that is to be avoided. It is by doing this that we become upset when things don’t go as we would like. Instead, we should not hold any one outcome as better or worse than the other. We should accept the outcome as a learning experience, learn from it and be pleased we were allowed an opportunity to learn from it.

He then gave began explaining the purpose of dreams and as I typed this he came through quite easily and unexpectedly as if to reiterate his point:

“Dreams are the explosion of our creative potential into a specific targeted direction. Once we dream them, they are dreamed and we do not dwell on them long. They are gone as soon as they appear and we hold them not in our minds as the “one thing” we must or should have. Dreams are the canvas upon which we paint our life. Without them, we would have no life worth living for life indeed would be very drab.”

With this I was reminded of my projections and how when things within the astral environment change I do not flinch or allow it to cause me upset. I note it, accept it and move on, even if that object or thing happens to change multiple times within the projection. Very often I am surprisingly pleased that the change has occurred. It is viewed as “new” in that moment and like a child I find it amusing and fun.

For example, doors are always moving around in my dreams and my projections. They will start out where they are suppose to be and then reappear behind me or disappear altogether. I do notice this happening, or else I would not remember it at all, but I do not become upset or worried about it. I see the change and think, “That wasn’t there before” and immediately it is gone from my mind, nothing more than a mild curiosity that had I dwelt upon it would have distracted me from what I was there to learn and ultimately ended the projection altogether.

“So you see, my dear one, how our dreams allow us the opportunity to try on different realities so that we can choose correctly in this physical incarnation that which we would like to experience. I say “correctly” only so that you understand that we all have choices, multitudinous choices, from which to select and though all are correct not all will be tried and tested within the dream state. If you can take what you have learned via the dreamstate – via your OBEs, via your communications with US, via your inner journey – and apply it to your waking state consciously and with intent you will see that your upsets and dramas over seemingly very large ordeals are surely a waste of your time and a distraction away from your true purpose here. It is in availing yourself of the opportunities you have been given via your spiritual insights and experiences that you will find the most success in this lifetime.”

All of this I was surely not expecting upon rising this morning! What a surprise! “It does indeed give you something to chew on, does it not dear heart?” Yes, indeed.

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Nothing Like an Afternoon Projection….or Two

Despite a rough night and a full week of energy onslaught I took my guides’ advice and am doing a liquid fast today. I chose to incorporate juicing because my high-metabolism-body needs more than just water and lemon juice all day long to function properly. The fast started last night around 8pm and will go until tomorrow morning if I can make it that long. Approximately 36 hours.

So far so good. No major blood sugar drops. Only side effect thus far is a headache but that is because I skipped my daily cup of coffee. I had two different juice combinations for breakfast along with a hefty amount of water – an antioxidant one with strawberries, blueberries and lime and another that was carrot, apple and ginger.  I had a double round of a melon detox juice (yum!) and I did sneak a few bites of watermelon. I didn’t see the harm considering it is mostly water anyway. 😉 Just now I had a juice made of more greens than I normally eat in a day. Hoping that one does not come back to haunt me.

Since I am as exhausted as a mother with a newborn these days, I have been laying around most of the day. I only put forth effort when I make the juice and if you have ever juiced then you know it is quite an effort, especially to clean it afterward! My husband took the kids with him to help me out and so I went directly to bed. Of course, when I lay down I was not tired and my mind went through a gauntlet of thoughts. I felt my guidance, though, and as I became more and more relaxed, they became more and more present in my energy field.

Vision

They sent me a vision which was quite unexpected. I saw very clearly a man standing in green grass with a device in his hand. My attention was drawn to his feet which were completely bare. Then I noticed what he was doing: surveying. I laughed and came out of my reverie. Barefoot, just like I was in a recent dream. To me it means I have gotten to the point of allowing myself to feel vulnerable and freed of self-limiting beliefs. But it can also be a sign of indecision or a choice needing to be made. The surveying part was a message that me and my guides are preparing for what is ahead; making sure everything is exactly right. I was reassured that I am “ready”.

OBE: Spilling Milk

I should have known I would project. Laying there in bed in the middle of the afternoon, alone and with spiritual intent, I was reminded of the early days of my awakening. I use to take afternoon naps all the time to induce a conscious exit and then play for hours in the astral. So I said point blank to my guides, “I want to astral.”

The most common way to project for me is to go to sleep and then wake back up (WBTB) but since this was the afternoon I chose the meditation route. It was not long before I felt the energy settle over me like a blanket and my crown, third-eye and heart begin to buzz. What happens after is usually hynagogia but I skipped that part. It all just blacked out for a moment and then I heard noises as if my family was in the house. Of course, they weren’t in the house and I knew that, so as soon as I recognized the noises-off I sat up in bed and literally walked right out of my body. 🙂

I entered my old bedroom from high school. The colors were all gold and my vision was not as clear as I would have liked, but oh well. I still heard the noises that I had heard before but now I was able to focus on them. It was the sound of the television from the other room. I went through the door and into the living area, picked up my youngest child and went straight outside into the front yard.

Outside it was the middle of the day and the sun was almost too bright. I saw a bunch of people gathered in the driveway. I didn’t know them but I saw a man I thought I recognized standing with a woman I thought I recognized. Rather that talk to them, I took my son by the hand and led him up the gravel drive. It was very obvious to me then that I was barefoot, too. I remember thinking, “This normally would hurt my feet.” But there was no pain. I lifted up off the ground about a foot and led my son up the drive. What is odd is that I had in my hand a nearly empty gallon of milk and I was pouring the remaining contents on the ground as we flew up the drive. I was really happy to pour out the milk for some reason. lol

When we got to the end of the drive my son went to the mailbox and opened it up. He put something inside and I was about to ask him about it when the man who had been down by the car interrupted me. I don’t remember what he said but I knew him then. He was one of my guides. I don’t think I was suppose to be there either.

This guide was quite big and his hair was a nearly white blonde and shoulder length. He grabbed me and turned me toward him quite roughly. I was in a playful mood so didn’t care. I reached up and kissed him square on the lips. I think I was hoping for some Kundalini rising, but there was nothing like that.

He kissed me back but he also returned me to my bedroom and lingered there until I went back to my body. It was like he escorted me back. Ha!

OBE: Woman in a Headdress 

Whatever his message was, I don’t think I quite got it because as soon as I was back in my body I heard the noises-off again and knew I could exit. As soon as I began to sit up, I both saw and felt someone standing over me. My vision was not on yet so I began to open my eyes and squinted as I began to see the outline of a very beautiful woman take form. I think I had expected my blonde guide because I said to her, “You’re a woman!” I could see jewelry hanging off of her. It was gold and she appeared to have both a necklace and dangling earrings. She touched me on my back and rolled me toward her. Still in my playful mode I was thinking she was being sexual but I was not interested in that. I just wanted to see her more clearly. Unfortunately, it was like she was back lit so it was hard to make out any of her features. Whoever she was, she was quite beautiful energy-wise and from what I could see of her. She also was wearing some kind of very large headdress. The headdress was spiky and seemed to form a star over her head. The way she was moving my astral body I began to wonder why she was there. She kept rolling me back into bed and toward her, as if she was trying to lay me flat. Eventually she got what she wanted and my projection ended. Right before I went back into my body, though, I saw very clearly gold-tipped, white, feathered wings coming out of this woman’s back.

When I came back into my body I was laying on my back with my arms over my head. I don’t remember being in that position to begin with. I wanted to try and go back OOB but my energy seemed to fizzle. I got the message quite quickly that I needed to get up and get more “sustenance”. So I did.

 

 

 

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A Taste of Divinity

Exhausted is not the right word for how I feel this morning. Wrung out may fit better. lol

I began to get tired around 8pm but when I finally made it to bed around 9-10pm I felt wide awake. My guidance was right there in my face and close. I felt I should do yoga, so I did, thinking it may help relax me some. It did help with my lower back which has felt somewhat stiff since the Kundalini began to rise, but other than that it didn’t do much.

The minute I rolled on my side to try to sleep the energy began to pummel me. It was hitting me from above, the side, behind me – all directions and sporadically. The minute I closed my eyes my head began to spin and I remember opening them quickly and saying to my guidance, “Whoa! What are you doing to me?!” The vertigo was so intense that I became slightly nauseous from it.

I lay on my back hoping it would settle the energy and it did but my heart began to surge with energy up into my throat area and my head began to buzz with the energy helmet. I could sense my guidance right over the top of my head. I could feel very acutely my energy body and my physical body. This is not something I normally feel when wide awake. It is more common while in the in-between or prior to going OOB.

The energy stream continued to pummel me for hours. It sent me into an ecstatic high and my mind began to fill with all sorts of ideas about how to share my experiences. The urge to share was almost compulsive. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs to everyone telling them they have no idea what is coming! This wonderful, miraculous power that is US is RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW accessible!

What kind of download was this? I have no clue if it even was a download. When I think back on it and consider what my experience was like, it resembled Kundalini but coming from the top (crown) and going down into my high heart. But then it was not chakra by chakra either, it was all of my upper chakras at once and it was dizzying array of energetic sensations that I have no words to describe. My entire head was engulfed in energy and it snaked down the back of my neck, around the front of my neck and down into my heart. Where the energy hit my throat it felt explosive and alive, thus the urge to yell or sing or express myself right then and there.

But I didn’t. Instead I brainstormed. I need to do another video. Several videos. Soon. I need to express what is inside me somehow, some way.

I didn’t fall asleep until about 1am and only after I pleaded with my guidance to please let me sleep.

No surprise, I woke up with a headache.

I am fascinated by the Kundalini. I am absolutely in love with him/her/it. This experience is spectacularly Divine in every way. And I am told it is just the beginning. This is just a taste of what is to come.

 

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I’ve Been Zapped!

I’ve been up since 4am. Had a Kundalini rising episode again. They are getting more and more overwhelmingly intense. There was no way sleep was coming after this one. Nope.

Dream: LA 

There was a series of dreams prior to this one and even one that seemed to be going on simultaneously. But to avoid confusion I will stick to the one that resulted in the Kundalini rising.

I was inside a room that appeared to be made completely of a metallic type of a material. Everything was gray. Next to me was a small, spiral stair leading up. The whole scene reminded me of the inside of a ship, similar to what the inside of the USS Lexington looked like when I visited.

I was told to wait because the next shift was late, specifically the barber. I said I would wait but I really wanted to leave. It was cramped inside.

While I waited I turned on the computer monitor. It was very large, probably four by five feet. I was clicking on various icons and ended up on a porn site. Horrified, I tried to click out of it but was unable to. Everything I tried took me to more porn! lol What was odd is that the sites contained pictures of various E.T. women. I remember knowing where they were from – Sirius and Lyra specifically. The woman from Lyra looked like she was half feline! I can’t get the image out of my head even now. She looked like she had white fur growing along her spine that resembled a mink coat.

This is when the next shift arrived, the “barber”.Well, it was only one person, a man, and he was completely bald (a bald barber?). He came into the room carrying containers of food and said, “I brought take out” (second dream this week with take out). I knew who he was and was a bit shocked to see him. He came up to me and wrapped his arms around my midsection and kissed me passionately. I remember my entire body catching fire and I pushed him away and said, “Not now.”

There was knowingness that he was my “boyfriend” and he had been away. In the dream there was a time frame here but my memory is confused. It felt like 1 day but then I also swear it had been 15 months.

He then took me on a tour of LA. He showed me a restaurant. People were lined up waiting to get inside. I asked why the fuss and he said it was the location – some major film had been filmed there or around there. I remember thinking it was lame to wait all day in line for food just because of a location.

Next we were on the set of a film watching an actor as he played his role. I was interested but only because I knew his native language was not English. I was congratulated on recognizing this but I acted bored about it. I was still trying to figure out what exactly was going on through all of this. Why was I in LA? Why was I getting a tour? What is going on? lol

My thoughts were interrupted by yet another passionate kiss. Whoa. I became full-on lucid at this point and could feel everything very physically. The kiss knocked me off my feet and I remember sending a thought, “Please stop. I can’t do this.” There was no stopping it, though. It was like a whirlwind of energy rushing up my body that was so exquisite, so seductive, there was no way I could offer up any resistance to it. The entire time I felt myself participating in the kiss but it was like my body had a mind of its own. I was totally incapacitated.  Just when I think it can’t get anymore amazingly blissful, it does.

Of course, I woke myself up. lol Yet the energy continued swirling with fury from my root up to my throat, threatening to engulf me entirely. I think the reason I woke up was I kept holding my breath. Even after I woke up I kept holding my breath. How does one breathe through something like that?

I remembered that I needed to calm down and move the energy up and out of my root. But when I tried to do this, the energy hit my heart with such intensity that I again couldn’t breathe and felt like I would die from ecstasy. But really, can one die from ecstasy? Maybe?? lolol

The entire time I am awake and this energy is overwhelming me, I hear my Companion talking to me. I can’t remember all of what he said now, but I remember he repeated, “Let us help you” more than once. My thought was, “Us?”

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4am and No Sleep for Me

I glanced at my clock and it was just after 4am. I tried to return to sleep but the energy kept surging and my thoughts were not helping. If I even focused on my Companion a tiny bit my heart would explode and then it would all surge up again and make me breathless. And if I tried to recall my dreams the same thing happened. There was no escaping it.

It was also extremely hot in the room. lol

At one point I had calmed enough to feel the heaviness of sleep. I rolled over and settled down only to find my entire head and visual area hit with energy followed by the familiar sensation of hypnagogia. My eyes were closed but I could feel my astral eyes forced open. It was like a blast of energy opened them. In my visual field was an intense bright, white light. I mentally yelled, “No!” Little good that did! hahaha

In that instant I heard from within the center of my head an electrical, almost static buzzing sound. It was coming from directly in front of me and I heard it via my third-eye! WTF? Before I had a chance to think about it there came from this sound a blast of energy that went straight into the center of my head. It was like someone had aimed a laser beam of energy directly into my third-eye. I was zapped! Shocked, I felt my astral body jump. I also heard the zap with my third-eye. I have not heard in this way (internally while awake) in ages and it was through my crown. Never have I heard a noise via my third-eye.

Still in shock I heard my Companion say, “How was that?” He was smirking. NOT funny! Ahhhhh!

Well, there was no way sleep was coming after that. No way in hell. So I tried to relax and allow whatever was to come, to come. My heart was doing all kinds of crazy stuff as was my crown, third-eye, root – you name it, it was ablaze. Even now my heart is sparking up.

Purification Needed

Despite all of the energy flare ups that continued, I found myself pulled into the in-between by a female guide. She told me, “You need to keep your hands washed at all times.” Huh? What? She answered, “Purification ritual. You need to do one.” What an odd request and continually wash my hands? Why? What is odd is I actually felt compelled to wash my hands right then and there. Weird. I also remember now that I had visions of taking a bath when the Kundalini energy began to subside. All I wanted to do was “put out the fire.” lol

I recognized that I needed to research this. It is connected to Hinduism. I was also instructed to fast for an entire day. No food of any kind. Just liquids.

This female guide was very fussy, acting like a mother hen. The space she took me was highly decorated with textiles but very small. There was a feeling of “women only” and there came with this a thought of separating from men during the menstrual cycle. Another odd thing to add to a very eventful morning!