Category Archives: Ascension

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Preparing for the Next Stage

I am on day 12 of my purification and am feeling excellent except that I am now struggling to fall asleep at night. I blame the extra energy I have for that.

At this stage I am not noticing too many toxins and chemicals being released. There are occasional muscle twitches in my back and one nostril will stop up randomly, but other than that, nothing. I suspect the muscle twitches result from a release of tension in my back from all the time in the sauna. The stopped up nose could be allergies or maybe the nasal spray I used for so long through each of my three pregnancies.

I now look forward to the running and to the Niacin flush as it turns on full force in the midst of my runs.  I forgot how freeing it can be to run for long periods of time. Yesterday I did not want to stop running and actually extended my running time to 35 minutes. 🙂 I also find myself daring the Niacin to do its worst during my run. I kind of have the “no pain, no gain” idea going on. That is just how I am, though. I love to push my body to its limits. I also strongly believe that one’s mindset makes all the difference. Long ago I decided, “I control my body, my body doesn’t control me”.

Sleep Changes

As I mentioned already, falling asleep has become a challenge with all the extra energy I have. It takes me about 2 hours to fall asleep when before it would take literally minutes. I am also now waking up more frequently in the night like I did prior to starting the purification. I suspect my body has adjusted to the new routine and the increase in vitamins and minerals. I also find it interesting that these sleep patterns go hand-in-hand with the solar flare activity lately, which has been off the charts.

I awoke this morning from a very realistic dream in which I had accidentally killed a man and deciding if I should confess or try and hide it. I went to the police station and told the officer of my crime and he filled in a sheet. He left for a long time and I began to fret and worry if I had done the right thing. I ended up sneaking out the back door and running. The whole time I was escaping I knew that it was pointless as all the evidence pointed to me. I thought of all my options, even suicide, but recognized I had to take responsibility for my actions.

When I woke from this dream it was still very real to me and I had to reorient myself to present time. I literally awoke feeling I needed to prepare myself for a long stent in jail. Ha! I then recalled that while I was hiding from the law I was mowing a lawn and doing yard work. How odd!

Spiritual Changes – Preparing for the Next Stage

Yesterday, while in the sauna, I felt the familiar energy helmet sensation come on for a minute or so and then vanish. It happened again an hour or so later and now is just barely noticeable again.

I spend most of my sauna time reading Science Fiction books, so it is rare that I notice anything going on with my body/mind because I am so engrossed in my reading. I am currently reading, A Darkling Sea by James Cambias (great book!). Reading passes the time and keeps me from fixating on just how hot it is in the sauna (168 degrees).

Yesterday I would be pulled out of my reading by the strange helmet energy or a sudden thought unrelated to my reading. My guide would respond to my thoughts, which he hasn’t been doing for some time. He again communicated with me last night prior to bed saying to me, “You are large” and sending me a mental visual of my energy (aura) expanding way past my normal six to eight feet around my body. I was white and expansive and felt this body to be so very small. He then said, “You will remember again” when a memory of the amazing things I have experienced caused me to long for more. I asked if this meant that my “rest” was over, and he said, “Not just yet. We will ease you into it”. I know I am nearing completion of my purification, so this is likely why I am again receiving communication.

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No Rest for the Weary

I couldn’t fall to sleep last night. I had too much energy, which was odd after running for 30 minutes and then sitting in a hot sauna for four hours (with breaks of course). I was able to hear my guide on and off and had some moments where I would hear complete sentences but they are lost to me now. I recognized instantly that something was churning inside me, moving toward the forefront of my Earth consciousness.

The recognition of this was almost imperceptible, still is, but if I focus on my heart space, quiet my mind and just feel, it is there. The physical exhaustion that accompanies this purification of body has separated me from the usual communication periods that come with sleep. Yet there lingers a memory that so much is being accomplished in the beyond.

No Rest for the Weary

I have been observing the comments of others over the period of a couple of weeks. While I enjoy my deep, almost dreamless sleep and daily stability, others are struggling with intense Kundalini-type symptoms, general dis-ease and melancholy. The energy intensifies every day and the lull between each surge is near non-existent. It is the crescendo ever rising. It is adjust, adapt or fail.

And I hate to tell you all this, especially those of you who are struggling right now, but this is not going to let up anytime soon. The days of the long periods of normal, lower energy, are over. It is the push over the edge for some.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with this new normal, ask for assistance from your guides. Look inward for your answers, not outward, as you will find great confusion all around you. It is human nature to seek comfort in our similarities with others, to feel not alone, yet at this time the similarities can be very misleading and only add to the confusion.

There are some who are, like me, experiencing deep, rejuvenating sleep. Enjoy it, as it is your body adapting to the higher more intense energies. Though you may feel disconnected from your guides at this time, they are never far away. Know there is much occurring behind the scenes. Trust that all is well. You are in good hands.

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Manifestation Portal Opens Tonight: Message from the Council of Many

Though I am not feeling the climatic consciousness energies like many of you, I am noticing a shift from deep within me taking root. Perhaps this is because I already experienced a climax in consciousness back in May which has changed me, but I know there is more of an explanation than this.

Balance is the key, I am told, and the reason the current energies seem not to effect me like they do others. I feel them but am not disturbed; my perceptions not distorted by them.

I see in my mind what is currently happening to those being hit with these changes. Their light bodies are thrown askew quite violently from their physical bodies and so there is a distortion of perception. They sense this but cannot control it because their bodies are not yet in alignment. Mine are, I am told, and this balance allows me to integrate all experiences as One without the skewed time variations throwing me out of sync with the current reality.

You may ask, “How can I align my bodies?” or “How can I attain this balance?” There really is nothing you need to do and honestly, nothing more you can do that you are not already doing. Much of the changes are occurring outside this physical reality and only slivers of these changes are actually making it into your physical body consciousness. It can be quite confusing to this part of you who uses the mind to analyze and predict the future based upon all possible outcomes and past experience. These mechanisms are not viable to you in regards to the profound changes occurring within you (all of your bodies) at this time. Trust is key as is the relationship you have with your inner guidance at this time. So much calm, so much peace, awaits you within if you can only habitually go there and avoid the traps of the mind.

It is told to me that a portal opens tonight allowing us access to manifestation energies not yet available to us previously. These energies are an amplification of Source within each of us that opens within us a type of vortex of energy that when tapped into can expand and amplify thoughts in alignment with our purpose. Carefully consider what you want in your life at this time and announce it. Then trust that it will be so. In some cases you will only feel what it is that your Higher Self desires and that is all the better as it enhances the manifestation process even more. There will be no mental awareness of what it is that you desire, only a feeling that expands and saturates your experience in ways you have yet to perceive.

You may have already noticed similar energies at work in the last week. These energies have been building up to this weekend’s portal and have thus assisted you in the manifestation process. These “tools” allowed you to be at the ready for any such possible actions that may have been required of you. In some cases, all you needed do was be open to all possibility and accept into your experience that which would assist you toward your endeavors.

If you do not believe that such power resides within you, step back and observe the results of your manifestation as they materialize. It is your ability that create that sets you apart from the rest of the inhabitants of this planet. You have merely forgotten this part of You and have haphazardly manifested both good and bad so frequently that you have illogically attributed it all to “chance” or “fate”. Oh, but fate has nothing on you! You are the master of all devices. Remember [you will] your magnificence.

The portal opens tonight at midnight CST and peaking just before noon the next day, coinciding with the summer solstice. It will extend into the following week and materialization ability will continue to be enhanced throughout this time period extending through the remainder of summer months [until the planetary alignment disengages and moves into the 5th house of your conjunction] Note: the last part relates to my particular chart of which I am ignorant at this time so further research is needed. Any help here is appreciated.

Please let it be noted here that manifestation ability is and will be further enhanced when/as balance is achieved and maintained. This particular portal gives many access to this, their hidden potential, and the extension of such is dependent on the ability of the individual to maintain balance and reactivate long forgotten ability. Continued practice is encouraged. This ability is innate. Trust that it is so.

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Consciousness Crescendo – Message from the High Council

There will be soon a climax in consciousness that will be experienced by the many on Earth ascending at this time. It is so called a climax because there has not yet been such consciousness levels reached in these individuals until now. This is the culminating event in an ever building schematic previously laid out eons ago for the transcendent evolution of mankind.

In this event a superior knowingness will seem to descend upon those ready for such an experience. It will feel much as if your physical mind expands beyond a limit yet to be experienced. Your origins and purpose will again be revealed but this time with more definition and specificity. The gaps that were there before will be filled in and a pervasiveness of it will endow you with much of your Self which you have lost over countless incarnations.

Additionally, a calmness will overtake you that is such that you will feel ever more comfortable in your surroundings, in your physical vehicle and in your purpose. A dream-like quality may accompany this and a sense of homecoming that many of you have been seeking your entire lives will be palpable.

This climax in consciousness comes after a period of quiet and seemingly disconnect from Source. This in itself was an illusion set up in part due to the effects of the Egos return to the forefront during a time of adjustment and transition. There is a pattern in this process that you may now be noticing. Such patterns exist so that the full transformational effects can be felt and processed without resulting in supreme overwhelm of the mental mechanisms of the body. The physical vehicle is only capable of so much and should not be pushed beyond its limits. To do so would encourage sudden illness and dysfunction therein. Even with precautions, many have been experiencing physical alterations at varying degrees throughout their transformation. Therefore, do not be disappointed when this powerful and sublime crescendo, decrescendos, and leaves you wanting for more. The true test is in recognizing the illusion of its departure.

As always, we remind you to tune into the heart center and avoid the mind’s over-analytical tendencies. Trust the process. Give into the process. Release your fears, doubts and insecurities and this consciousness crescendo will shift you into the next level.

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Heart Center Adjustment

As I mentioned in my last post, I was unable to fall asleep last night. Part of it was my illness, but the other part had to do with an odd feeling in my heart space.

The feeling is hard to describe but it felt as if there was trapped energy there. I had requested help from my guides to fall asleep and was instructed to focus on my heart space. That is when the strange energy became very strong. It was not the normal pulling sensation nor the vortex-like spinning I am use to. Instead, it felt like my entire midsection from my collarbone to my pelvis was buzzing, jumping and shooting with electrical energy. It was not a comfortable feeling and reminded me somewhat of being anxious, but it was not the same.

Oddly, the sensation pulled me into the in-between and I lay there for so long I thought I must have fallen asleep because I don’t remember anything from that time period. I want to say I was in the in-between at least half an hour. When I regained awareness, the strange feeling was intensely apparent and large, like my entire mid-section were engulfed in electrically charged flames. I didn’t feel hot, though, just different, as if I were split in two but only in that part of my body.

I awoke and then went back into the strange sensation which now no longer bothered me, falling into a very deep sleep. My dreams were in an environment I have not been in before where the atmosphere is similarly charged with the same heart-space energy except in the dream the energy was deeply calming and felt like an extension of myself.

When I awoke there was a knowing that I had received intense healing. I also knew the illness I currently have is a direct result of some of the changes I am going through, My body is reacting to them, adjusting and correcting itself. I am glad a cold is all that resulted!

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Clearing the Path

My night was full of healing dreams last night. I had so many that it would be the longest post to write about them all. What seems to be happening, though, is that I am being guided through memories from my early life – teen years mostly. In one dream, I even ran into my high school friend’s father who died several years ago. I told him,”You look different”, and he asked me, “How?”  I said, “You don’t look so harsh”. Of course, this is a reflection of me more than him, but it was so very vivid that I wondered if I actually met him or if it was a dream creation of mine to help me learn.

I recall having a conversation about that high school friend, discussing how I felt I should still keep in touch with her. My guide asked me questions that I did not hear aloud and I reflected upon our severed relationship. I felt guilty for not being there for her during her cancer but then I realized we had drifted apart long before then. I remember saying, “We were too different”. At the end of that dream I realized that relationships are purposeful. She came into my life to help me and when she was no longer needed, she left. I acknowledged this and moved on.

In another dream I ran into an old coworker who I feel I wronged. I hugged her upon seeing her and she flinched as if I hurt her. She put her hand to her left shoulder and held it and I apologized asking, “Did I hurt you?” She did not reply and I realized she had a chip on her shoulder which I reminded her of. Her healing is not done and she is still bitter. I felt no remorse for what I did upon that realization. It is her burden to carry, not mine.

When I finally woke up for the day, I heard very clearly a voice say, “You are becoming crystalline”.

Chakras as Alarms?

When I went about my day today, I found my reactions to my husband were full of anger. I didn’t understand and could not hold back my spite towards him. I also noted a strange sensation in my second chakra. It was almost like that sinking feeling one gets in their stomach when they are nervous, but this was lower down and not very strong. I have never felt anything like it. I recall recognizing this feeling was out of place. I wondered, what was going to happen?

The day continued with me remaining irritated at him. It finally subsided later on after he told me something that upset me and I just accepted it and moved on with my day. Later on, however, I got onto the computer and happened to see an email he had typed. It was related to what he told me earlier in the day so I read it.

I became completely enraged by the email because 1. it revealed he had not told me the full truth and 2. the subject matter was something I should have been consulted about, but was not.

He left to take the kids to a party and I got to be home alone. I immediately remembered the second chakra feeling I had at the beginning of the day and I wondered, when did he send the email?

I checked the date and sure enough he had sent it the night before. Somehow, I had sensed his betrayal and a part of me knew. Had I just paid attention I would have known why I was so upset with him most of the day.

This betrayal is not the end of the end or anything, it is just about being able to trust my husband. This is a core issue in the realm of the second chakra which is all about relationships and creativity. My second chakra acted as an alarm to try and help me understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling, but I didn’t catch onto it. I will next time.

It is interesting to me that all this occurred today after receiving the message about becoming crystalline.

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The Unfolding: Message from the Peiadian High Council

Against the night there is a shuddering, a violent explosion of intent from which you have surfaced feeling a bit shaky and alone. You forget where you came from in this moment but within yourself you find remnants remain of that which you left behind. Your true Divinity flowers then from within, bursting from your heart space and opening up your human eyes to things which had previously been hidden from view. This is the unfolding of You; the taking of your rightful place in this Earthly life. You have been waiting for so long for this moment and it is now yours in all its glory. Awaken and rise up to take on this mission you have come to fulfill. It is a beautiful unfolding and we are pleased you have made it this far. We will wait for your next momentous leap, not far in the future. Until then, practice walking on your new shaky legs. Gain your footing and your stability. Move into wholeness and throw off uncertainty of purpose and any lack that remains from the fears that have been following you throughout this lifetime. It is you, all of it, but some of it need not be a hindrance. Toss it off and carry only what you need for this work is hard and tedious and thankless. We are grateful to have you in service again. Pleased are we that have supported you in this endeavor. Much love and togetherness is felt with each new step you take in the direction of the Light. Thank you. Bless you. Be You.

It is with a full heart that I typed this message from my Council. I do not fully understand it but I am beginning to feel different for lack of a better word. These last few days I have been wrought with such grief and confusion. There has been an intense struggle within going on. There are no words with which to try and describe it. No sense can be made of it. It is like a part of me put up a fight and lost. I know I am far from “there” yet, but there is a peace in knowing that I am past the point of no return.

I recognize now that I am integrating the Old more and more every day. I see her differently. I am not her anymore. She is something I created to withstand the hurt and pain of life here on Earth. She is the forgotten me, the me I left here while I focused on other things. I feel sympathy for her. I love her but she needs to find peace now. There is nothing so difficult as to welcome back a piece of yourself that you left behind. There is no memory in this other part. She Forgot so much and it is painful for her to Remember. So also is it painful for me.

What an odd feeling. I wish I could relate it better. Sorry.

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Dream: Soiled Wedding Gown

I again had a night full of vivid dreams. This time there was a theme. In several of my dreams I was either looking into a toilet or sitting on one and each time there was feces in it that was not mine. Yuck! Both times the feces would not flush even though the water would drain and new water would fill up the toilet.

Soiled Wedding Gown

In this particular dream I was hiding inside a bathroom stall. I say hiding but I am not sure I was doing that, but it felt like I was trying to stay unnoticed. I was sitting on the toilet, preparing to use it, when my dress got into the toilet water. I pulled up on the dress and saw that the white lace had been splattered with tan colored feces.

Grossed out, I attempted to clean it off by using the toilet water but saw that it was full of a very large turd. It was not mine and I did not want it there so I flushed the toilet. The poop remained as if stuck to the bottom of the toilet and I flushed it again. With the second flush, it went down the drain and clean water remained. I used it to clean up the dress but the spots would not completely wash out. I remember thinking, “Oh well, no one will notice”.

I then noticed my baby had found me and this caused me some upset as I wanted to be alone and there he was in my private space!. So, I got up to leave but saw that the entire silk underskirt of the dress had gotten into the water. Thankfully it was the clean water so I just squeezed out the water and went on my way. I remember thinking my dress was ruined but then reconsidering as everything that had been soiled on the dress was from either underneath or at the end of the train.

Interpretation

I awoke from this dream in the midst of an argument between my Ego self and my guide. This part of me was adamantly against the instructions we had recently received. My guide was asking me to listen to my heart and I fell into this space with ease and was immediately calm and knowing. The Ego self got quiet all at once and I understood the dream and the reason for her upset.

The wedding dress was an assessment of a personal relationship, in this case most likely my relationship with my family. The feces indicates areas of my life which I find repulsive and reject. I understand now that I was being shown these areas are still “soiled” and my reaction is that they are not a big deal in comparison to other issues I have had in the past.

The upset in this case was that my instructions are to remain where I am in life and continue to focus on my family while expanding myself spiritually. There was no other work to be done, no specific or exciting projects forthcoming and no relief from the daily grind of life that my Ego self was hoping to have.

It was then that I was taken to a place quite unexpectedly. Standing next to my guide I saw a lush green valley spread out in front and below me.  A river was winding toward the horizon where the sun was low in the sky and there was such magnificent colors that I thought it must be a painting I was in.

My guide said, “Do you see that river?”

I nodded, “Yes”.

He said, “That is your life, your path”.

I looked closer at the river. It was shallow with various higher areas of green grass in between dozens of channels. It appeared almost like a path with various roads which would diverge only to meet up again and then diverge again. There were many, many paths and I knew they were all possible routes I could take.alaska

So many options.

I understood then what he was showing me.

“It is easy”, I said to him. “The river is shallow enough to wade through”.

“Yes”, he confirmed.

“And I can choose to go any route I choose”, I said as I pointed to the paths the river took.

I remembered then my plan prior to this life which was to assist with the ascension. My job is to help others find their way. I do this through my writing and the relationships I have in my day-to-day life. My counseling came into my mind as did my relationship with my children.

I saw then that the other paths were mine to choose. They were not pre-planned. I could do whatever I wanted with the rest of my life. I could fill that time however I chose.

So much possibility but I did not know what I wanted to do. I wish I had planned these paths before coming.

“Whatever path you choose will be the right one. They are all part of your path”, my guide reminded me.

The Ego self wanted more, though. She wanted something grander. She wanted to scream to the world of her gifts, of her “specialness”. To set herself apart from the crowd. But to do that would destroy my purpose completely.

I then understood that I had to blend in; to do my work without being noticed or praised for it. To walk in my human shoes as a human does but with a knowingness of my origins and my purpose tucked inside my pockets.

It is probably the hardest life one could choose to live. It is the ultimate in humility and servitude.

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More Changes Coming

Something shifted between yesterday evening when I had the strange life review and this morning. There comes with this shift a strange feeling I can’t describe.

I am beginning to zone out again. So far it is not inhibiting my ability to write in my blog, but I suspect this will be coming based upon the odd sensations around my head at this moment. My eyes want to spontaneously close and I feel a strange tiredness. There will likely be a channeling coming soon. I can sense the communication channels are about to open.

My heart chakra is also very active again. It began last night during my review. The sensation came most intensely in my back and shot through to the front. It felt warm and comforting. Simultaneously, my second chakra became warm and tingly. It felt as if my uterus was receiving intense healing. The more emotion I felt at the memories, the more intense the energy in my chakras.

Currently, the heart sensation is extending to my third chakra and there is a sense of anticipation. I feel like a budding flower, ready to open and expand into its brilliance.

I am reminded now of something my guide told me not long ago about this process. He said, “It will be beautiful”.

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Unexpected Life Review

My husband has this weird habit of playing songs that my ex use to play all the time. When I ask him why he plays it, he says, “I like it”. Yet, most of the time he plays music we both like. So, him playing this music is out of character for him.

The music he plays comes from the exact albums my ex use to play over and over again when we were married. Specifically he plays George Strait, Amarillo by Morning (my ex’s all-time favorite song) and Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson songs. Last night he chose to play Merle Haggard Greatest Hits which was one my ex played frequently on our long commutes between Bozeman and Helena, MT.

When I heard the album playing songs I knew by heart, images began to flash through my mind of long ago. I was hit suddenly with these images and seemed unable to remove them from my mind. Mostly, I was seeing the mountains and grandeur of Montana, the houses I use to live in, and the routes to an from places we frequented. The detail was amazing!

There was also a memory of who I was at that time and she was so alien to me as was her actions and reactions to life. She was so selfish, angry and dark. I wondered to myself, “Why was I like that?” There came along with all this memory a deep regret for my lack of enjoying that part of my life and the immense beauty of the places in which I lived.

My memories then shifted to my childhood and images of the places I lived and the things I did began to pour in. These were less alien to me and there was little connection at all to the memory of my childhood. I remember visiting these childhood places while OOB and wondered, “Why do I not visit Montana when OOB?” I didn’t know.

Eventually I began to feel overwhelmingly hot. There was no sweat, either, just a core heat that seemed to radiate out from my center. This came and then went only to come back again. The memories of my life were still repeating and there was a question that came often with them, “Can you let it go?” There was also a statement I recall hearing, “Accept the Old you and the New you will be all that remains”.

Eventually, the memories stopped coming and I was able to just listen to the music as music. I even sang along to it while I cradled my youngest in my arms to help him get to sleep. I felt extremely tired and nearly fell asleep with him.

September 2002

I want to briefly discuss a memory that came while all this review was occurring. It was from the morning in which I woke to a voice telling me, “Get out now”. There was a discussion of this time in my life and a flash of memory of the months preceding this incident.

I had been extremely depressed for months. The depression had been there before but this was a very low, heavy kind of blackness. During this time I chose various outlets to relieve my depression. One of them was music. I went out and bought a guitar and taught myself to play it. I then composed songs. It was through these songs that I received help and my first “messages”. I didn’t know that was what it was at the time. I did keep a journal but did not write about these experiences for some reason. I wish I had.

This depression was so bad that thoughts of suicide were almost constantly on my mind. I did not tell anyone this, though. I kept it hidden and knew I would not have the courage to go through with it. I often prayed for God to end my life for me – freak accident or something like that. Of course, that never happened. I got very close to taking action toward ending my life, but couldn’t do it. It felt so very selfish and wrong. I don’t remember now my thoughts exactly but there was a feeling that a solution was coming.

Having these memories return made me wonder if perhaps a solution had come via that voice. Was there some kind of walk-in experience then? It seems very possible, even likely. I woke up to a voice telling me what to do and I didn’t question it. That was unlike the old me.

After I heard the voice, I left my husband within a week and found a new job within a month. Within four months I had done my first-ever meditation which seemed to activate something within me and within two months of that I quit the job I had just gotten, moved away, changed my name and changed everything about my life and my persona. The life I left behind did not feel like mine. It still feels that way. All of these actions are classic signs of a walk-in.

Even though I am now going through something very different than back then, I wonder if perhaps a similar process is happening?