Category Archives: Dreams

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Message: Collision, and Night-Long Dream #2

I couldn’t sleep last night and I was real tired. Not sure what caused it. Maybe the ridiculously warm temps here in Texas? I was in the mid-80’s! It was around midnight when I finally did fall asleep but woke soon after startled from an upsetting dream.

Dream: Collision

I was driving a car along the country roads where I grew up. My daughter was in the passenger side sitting on the edge of the open window. I felt to be in a hurry as she chatted happily about random subjects. 

As we approached a familiar area of road I saw people standing along the side of the road. It appeared they were waiting for the bus. I told my daughter to get down. She asked why and, annoyed, I snapped back, “Because they will see you!” I was more concerned what people would think than of her safety. 

I slowed down as I got closer to the people. A little girl, scarcely a toddler, wandering out into the road in front of me. I slammed on my brakes to avoid her and her mother came out into the road to get her. The woman came to my window and apologized. That is when I saw the road was actually full of all sorts of people milling about. What were they doing wandering in the road so early in the morning? All of the them were wearing light colored clothes and it reminded me of a scene from the show, The 4400. 

Somehow my dog, Monty, got out of the car. I hadn’t even realized he was with us. I jumped out and called him. He was standing in the road, happy to be around all the people. He was so comfortable he lay down in the middle of the road. 

As I went to grab his leash, a vehicle drove through the crowd, ignoring people and….Monty. I watched in horror as the car ran over his head, crushing his snout. I heard him whelp in pain but what was the worst is I saw in detail how his little face was crushed. 

Lesson and Message

The shock and what was running through my mind woke me. I felt panic as I lay there and then knew I would not be falling back to sleep anytime soon because the dream brought of memories of all the pets I’ve lost in my life. I also worried the dream was a premonition. What would I do if something like that happened in real life? I knew I would prefer to avoid it at all costs, like I did when my poor Trooper was put to sleep. I couldn’t confront it so I stayed in the lobby and let the vet take my place by his side. I also refused to see the dead bodies of my other pets after they died. I wondered why I did that.

It was at this point a guide said, “Death isn’t pretty.” It was the same guide energy from the other night. 

As I attempted to return to sleep, I entered the in-between where a word came to mind, “Collision”. It was then I understood the reason for the dream.

On February 3rd, I experienced something unusual as I was driving to work. That morning I had awakened from a night-long dream and the entire day felt odd. For the first time in years I was in “La La Land” as I call it, which indicates my crown is more open than usual. 

A song came on the radio, one I hadn’t heard in years: Collide.

I was waiting at a red light as it played, still off in La La Land, when I noticed a large semi-truck was right on my bumper. I ignored it but then I swear I felt him tap my bumper. I thought, “Did he just hit me?” I wasn’t sure but waved my hand out my window to see what he would do. Not long after he honked his horn and got out of his truck. I thought this meant he did hit me so I got out of my car. I asked, “Did you hit me?” He said, “No.” I checked my bumper and it was fine. So, I got back in my car as the song played, “You and I collide.” I thought it very strange and felt I must have imagined the bumper tap because of the song. But I know I felt him tap my bumper because I felt the car lurch forward! Still in La La Land, I continued on to work, feeling somewhere in-between this world and another.

Later on that same day another song started playing while I was editing a spreadsheet for work. It shifted me into La La Land immediately. It was like someone whispering to me, “Pay attention….”.

The song? Crash Into Me. Yep. 

And now I am hearing, “Collision”. 

From that point on, this guide began to discuss the lesson being presented for inspection. I remembered how it took me 5 years to get a new dog after Trooper died. I didn’t think I would ever get another dog, but I did. This memory was linked to other memories, memories of my other dogs but also of times in my life where I experienced a “collision”. Usually, these collisions were not pleasant and involved death, but not always, at least not actual death. 

Collision = Unexpected change or a life “shake-up”.

My guide asked me to consider what would have happened had I never had my other dogs. What would happen if I didn’t agree to have those relationships that never panned out? 

The whole point was that to experience joy, pleasure, or any other positive emotion, one must open themselves up to the possibility. Take a risk. Open your heart. Be vulnerable. But doing that also opens one up to the potential for great pain and suffering. The pain of loss is difficult to bear and over time some completely close themselves off to things which bring them joy and pleasure in order to avoid the inevitable loss. 

I knew this was true for me.

But I did get another dog in the end, didn’t I? It took me five years but I did despite knowing, at some point, I will lose him, too. Ultimately, I decided that having a loyal companion who loved me unconditionally was worth the pain and loss. I did try to not attach, but I know I have because this dream really upset me.

With human relationships I tend to keep others at a distance. I never fully open up to anyone. I am so very cautious. The minute someone gives me an indication that they are untrustworthy, I shut down completely. I may appear open, but I’m not.

As it is, the only time I completely opened up in this lifetime, my heart got smashed, so why would I open up again and risk that kind of debilitating pain? That was one hell of a collision!

The last thing I remember thinking before falling asleep was considering that it had been five years since my heart connection. It took me five years to forget before I got another dog. Perhaps I have forgotten enough of my past pain that I might open up my heart again? 

As I type this I can’t help but think another “collision” is coming.

Night Long Dream #2

And so I entered into a dream that continued through the night even after waking several times.

The dream began in a restaurant. I was with someone I know from online. I recognized him immediately. As we sat waiting to order I saw a part of him I didn’t know. When the waitress took too long to take our order he was quite vocal about it to the point that others in the restaurant heard him. I just laughed it off, not really embarrassed and knowing it was just part of who he was. Eventually, his eggs came as ordered – sunny side up. They looked raw to me as I arranged his toast on the plate and handed it to him. He ate the food quickly seeming famished. 

I remember knowing an entire story had played out before this scene so I asked my guide, “I want to see what happened.” From this point, I began to recount how this man and I had gotten to the restaurant. 

First, there was memory of making plans to meet up at an airport somewhere. I would fly in from Texas and he would fly in from his state. When we met up, the man no longer looked like his does in this life. Instead, he looked like the man from my previous night-long dream, but younger.

From there, we went to a hotel where we had separate rooms across the hall from each other. The receptionist met us and showed up to our rooms. Again, the man was quite vocal and gruff. He was most definitely a “brute” who wanted things his way and was not afraid to make it known to others when things were not what he wanted.

Inside our rooms we planned our day. I remember he was talking very loudly and putting up a front as this very strong, masculine man who had no weaknesses. But I knew him better than that so every time he was loud to the point that it would put someone off and scare them away, I laughed it off and said something to soothe him. He would then smile. It was like we had own our little secret world.

Throughout the dream I kept waking up and returning to sleep. I was aware that I was still talking to my guide and that my considerations were directing the dream. 

In one part of the dream we were preparing to head back home. I remember waiting in a lobby, maybe at the airport, where I filled a water bottle. I also remember visiting a restaurant. It felt like the man was constantly talking loudly while I remained happily silent and calm. He had lots of complaints but I took none seriously. 

In the last part of the dream I remember the man looked like my heart connection. I remember taking an earlier flight home than was previously agreed upon but he didn’t know it. I arrived home and hours later received a text from him saying his plane had landed. I told him I was already there, waiting. He asked how and I said I caught an earlier flight, one at 11am while his left at 3pm.

Interpretation

The feeling from the dream is that I was being shown relationships I have had in this lifetime and how they are linked to other lifetimes. I recognized all the men. The first man in the restaurant was behaving like a previous version of himself. He was quite brazen, bold and outspoken. He did not care if he hurt other peoples’ feelings. He was use to getting what he wanted. 

An alternate version of the man appeared in most of the dream. He was a younger version of the man in my dream from Feb 3. Our connection revealed itself as special, at least in that we knew each other well enough that I did not take his demanding behavior personally. I easily calmed him and there was an unspoken understanding between us. 

It seems that the shifting of the appearance of the man was there to indicate that all masculines are One. They may take on different forms and personalities and live different lives, but in essence they are the same energy. This has been discussed with me in the past, it has just been many years now.

Like the last night-long dream, it seems this guide is attempting to get me to open up and reconsider a past decision. He denies this when I ask, though, saying instead, “I am here to help”.

The last thing I remember hearing is me saying to him, “I will live a normal life.” I’m not sure what kind of “normal”, maybe my kind of “normal”, because this life has been anything but normal! 

Image source – http://www.nasa.gov

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Dream: Driving a Bus and Music Messages

Busy night. I had a night-long dream. One of those the continues even after waking up and seems to have a story-like feel to it. It wasn’t too vivid, though, so pieces are missing from my memory now that I am fully awake and starting my day.

Dream: Driving a Bus

The beginning is hazy but I remember ending up driving a school bus despite not really wanting to. Someone or something created the need for this. The need resulted from my partner being taken in another bus. I was to follow behind in my bus. I remember driving on the highway and taking sharp turns to get to a location out in the country. The feeling along the way was that I was being pushed in this direction as if by a momentum or pressure from a group. I don’t remember anyone being on the bus with me, though, just that a guide or energy was next to me. 

There is a brief memory of seeing my partner at the location when I arrived but he was being kept separate from me and was always off in the distance. I could see him but I couldn’t get to him. 

At some point my group began to materialize. I remember seeing faces but can’t recall them now. I do feel my family in physical reality was part of this group, especially my children. 

We were taken to a location where a movie was being filmed. The location was chosen for the specific architecture. It reminded me of an archeological dig site in the middle east or fertile crescent area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. There were partially uncovered walls from ancient buildings. These walls were uncovered enough that one could walk through the buildings. The walls were about knee to waist high. Below the old buildings and down some stairs was a busy highway. It was quite loud from all the passing cars and traffic. I remember thinking it an odd choice to shoot a movie scene.

I watched as everyone arrived on set. An older man stood out from the crowd. I knew he was the producer of the movie. He was short, had a protruding belly and gray hair. He was also quite hairy because I remember seeing hair poking through the collar of his shirt. His arms were also quite hairy. All the hair was graying. He felt to be of a different origin than myself. Grecian maybe? Like someone I would have seen on an ancient coin or old painting of someone from long ago.

There was a backstory going on at the same time but I don’t remember it enough to recount it here. While this story was being filmed I found myself inside a very large, king-sized bed next to the man and I felt others were in the bed also but never saw them. I remember talking to the man about the shoot location. How were they going to filter out all the noise from passing traffic? He said they would mute the sound and then fill it in later.

Towards the end of the dream I became very conscious of the man being close to me in this huge bed. He was pointing out a tree growing inside one of the houses on the hill where the filming was taking place. The tree was fairly short and squat, like something that would grow in an arid climate. It reminded me of an olive tree. Its branches were twisted and gnarled and it had tiny leaves growing on it. I could see all of this in my mind’s eye as if through a window.

The man wrapped his legs around me. I could feel his body hair up against my body and wondered if he was naked. Then I remember someone asking me, “Are you naked?” I didn’t know. I remember saying, “I just got a new sweater.” In my mind’s eye I saw a very comfortable, baby blue sweater. 

I began to gain lucidity at this time because I recognized that the sweater represented protection and to be naked represented trust and openness. For some reason I did not trust this man but I knew there was no reason not to.

The man brought my attention back to the tree. He said they selected the location for the film for a very specific reason. As I looked at the tree I noticed it was covered in faces, the faces of cats and kittens. I thought it very strange but answered the man with, “Oh! I see!” and said something about how rare such trees were. The faces on it began to move as if alive.

The last thing I remember was being in bed with this man. He was on my right facing away from me laying on his side. I felt his legs reach back and hook through my own, pulling me up close to him so that we were spooning. I remember him asking if I wanted to connect with him. I said it was okay. This is when I saw a visual of my sweater coming off as if being told that trust was needed.

This is when I woke up but entered into the in-between where the man and I continued to communicate.

Discussion

What was said was intermixed with various songs and visuals which makes it hard to relay the conversation word-for-word. What I remember most was being asked to reconsider a decision that was made. I was asked what I felt more than once and why I felt the way I did. I don’t recall really understanding some of the feelings I contacted nor the reasons I felt them. I do remember that part of the discussion was in my decision to limit Kundalini connections and interactions to dreamtime. It felt like I was being told that I had moved past that stage and now needed to take what I’d learned and apply it to physical reality. 

Whoever I was talking to was asking permission to contact me and as this was happening songs came into my mind. Just parts of them, though. 

The song first was Lovesong and “I will always love you” was repeated with the melody as messages were coming through. It was more telepathic, though, full of feeling. The only words I recall came from the song.

I kept trying to leave the conversation as I was mostly awake by this time, but a feeling kept saying, “Don’t go” and so I lingered in bed and continued to receive communication. Each time I wanted to end off, a song would come to mind. The lyrics I heard came from the song, More Than You Know – “I just need to get it off my chest, yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know….”.

Dream Interpretation

A school bus is indicative of a life lesson. The fact that I am driving the bus shows that I am in control and directing the lesson while others follow in my lead. The split from a partner in this case indicates a split from a decision, lesson or path that involved a partner. I feel pressured to return to this lesson by an unknown energy to my left and ultimately pursue the other bus and my partner. There isn’t really a resistance to the request but I feel pressure.

The setting of the movie feels like I am being shown something from my past. It would have been in a location from long ago, likely in the fertile crescent. The archeological dig indicates this past has been partially revealed but only the foundations remain. The man in the dream, or the producer, is unfamiliar to me and this part of the dream feels to be a communication from him to me. 

The king-sized bed could be an indicator that I am lucid. Beds, for me, are my safe place. They are comfortable and cozy. I go to my bed for privacy, peace and relaxation. Beds can indicate avoidance of something, also. The fact that this man is in bed with me indicates he is able to penetrate my defenses. He is with me in my safe place. The sweater I am wearing indicates I am not fully open to this, though, and he is since he is naked. He is facing away from me which I feel is him communicating to me that he is not a threat. The fact that I allow him to intertwine his legs with mine indicates I am partially open to him occupying my space.  The visual I see of my sweater taken off is a communication from him. I am being asked to trust. I don’t do this in the dream but I do remember being confused as to whether I am naked or not. I can’t tell.

The trees with cat faces is unusual. Trees are about the cycle of life, knowledge, and wisdom. This tree is short, gnarled and obviously very old. Cats in my dreams tend to symbolize the feminine, feminine sexuality and the Kundalini energy. Often in my dreams they are annoyances to me, rubbing up against my leg or showing up in strange places where I am unable to avoid them. I’ve had dreams where an entire hoard of cats was pursuing me on a mountain top and I was trying to get away but was overcome by them. I’ve also had dreams where a cat was dying or sick, but those a rare. I’ve never seen cat faces on a tree, though. My best guess is that the cat faced tree represents feminine wisdom and growth. The cat faces are like fruits on the tree, so perhaps a cycle of life or lifetimes has matured, produced fruit and is ripe for the picking? 

I do know that a part of me wanted to linger in the in-between this morning. I felt pulled toward the in-between, similar to how how I felt when I was made to drive the bus in my dream. 

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OBE: Laser Beam

Before bed last night, I was watching, Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind – Contact Has Begun. I didn’t finish but had just started Part 3. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. I wasn’t very inclined toward the content in Part 1, but Part 2 got my attention.

I’m pretty sure the film impacted my dreams and early morning OBE.

Dream: Planter

I was standing in knee-high flood waters (strong, turbulent emotion). The water was frothy and brown. It churned around me and then subsided.

I walked through a mess of items that was left behind. Trash, mostly. Ahead of me I saw my sister and realized I was at the spot where her RV home was located. She was walking about picking up items. She came up to me and told me she was trying to get Mom to buy her a planter (hope for the future). I thought it a ridiculous idea considering her current state and suggested she use one of the many pieces of junk laying around. I even showed her how, giving her several examples of items she could use.

I noticed she was already using items as planters for various cactuses (mistrust, isolation). Some of them looked sickly. I told her she might consider using an old cooler, one with wheels. This gave me another idea and I suggested she use a small wagon.

Somehow I ended up going to “the house”, which I assume was located nearby but I don’t remember how I got to it. It was very nice and had so many rooms that there was no way just one family could occupy it. I spoke to someone about this as I walked through a living area.

A woman was with me and showed me to a child’s room. It was full of all kinds of items. The woman suggested giving the items to my daughter (child aspect). “Do you think she would like this room?” I said, “Yes! She would LOVE this room!” I explored some of the shelves and one was full of tiny, glass figurines. I remember thinking she might struggle to keep the figurines organized. I, myself, would have loved the room as a girl.

Then I realized I needed to go to the bathroom ( seeking relief) and excused myself to go find one. I ended up going through a very heavy, steel door. When I turned around to latch it I had to really put all my bodyweight into the door to move it in place and latch it closed.

The bathroom itself was not a normal one. It had a very nice sitting area with sofas and a big table. To my right was a full kitchen. The walls were made of bricks and I couldn’t see a toilet anywhere. I went to search the hall behind the kitchen when I heard someone push open the heavy, steel door.

Surprised they got in even though I had locked it, I went to investigate. When I saw two men and a woman standing there I said in an annoyed tone, “Why are you in here!? I locked the door!” One of the men, who looked a lot like my uncle, said something in a harsh tone. It was something like, “Why do you always have to be like this?” I suddenly felt very ashamed but in defense of myself I said, “I had to use the bathroom.” But the feeling of shame lingered and I wondered to myself, “Why do I always act this way?” I could feel a heavy energy forming in my core. It moved upward quickly and I began to sob.

I woke up crying and a little confused. I was upset because the way I acted in the dream is so typical of my life. I end up confused afterward wondering, “Why did I do that?” It feels like I have no control over the things I do and say sometimes. Like someone else is doing it! What is that about?

A guide was close and encouraging. It felt like he wanted me to look.

Memory

A memory came to me, one from many years ago during my first year in college. I was working as a waitress in the town where I graduated even though my college was about 30 minutes away. I had worked there since high school and they asked me to help because they were short staffed. I ended up being the top waitress and so often ended up giving orders to the other waitress, most of which were in high school.

One waitress in particular resented the fact that I told her what to do. I remember asking her to clean the bathroom, checking her work, and seeing she had done nothing despite saying she had cleaned it. I called her on it, she confessed and back talked me, but went back and cleaned it with me watching.

A few days later I was going out to my car. I had recently gotten it as a gift from my Mom. Some of the waitresses were standing near it. The bitter one walked away smirking. At my car, one of the waitresses told me the bitter one had keyed my car. Sure enough the back of car had a long, deep mark on it.

I went to the owner and told him about it. He confronted the waitress and she confessed and he made her apologize. I demanded more be done, but he refused. I wanted him to fire her. My Mom contacted the girl’s mom and tried to get compensation for the damage but nothing ever materialized. I felt so betrayed by the owner that I quit very soon after. I didn’t want to work at a place that condoned childish behavior.

This memory was long ago discarded but now it was back. I realized I was being shown the memory because I had missed something. So I inspected how I had treated the girl and my reaction. I also considered the girl’s perspective and my boss’s.

Ultimately, I realized the girl’s family was likely very poor. I also knew my boss only hired girls who needed the job – for various reasons, he was kind-hearted. He was also short-staffed so would not want to fire someone for something they did off shift.

My tendencies when I was young were I to act without thinking. I often came across to others as unyielding and harsh. I am and always have been blunt and tend to speak my mind. I don’t often consider how others might receive me. I most definitely did not give this girl any respect and treated her like a child, scolding her for trying to avoid doing her job. Yet, when I considered her background, I sympathized for her. She was young and inexperienced. She saw my car as something expensive (it wasn’t but to her it was). She wanted me to feel what she felt and the only thing she knew to do was key my car. In the end, I could care less. I didn’t buy that car, my Mom did. I ended up trading it in on a much better one later. And that poor girl would likely have to work three times as hard as me to get a car like that!

But, honestly, she was not a good worker. She was lazy and idle, preferring to chat with her “friends” (they ratted her out) and linger in the kitchen. She often ignored her tables and I had to take up the slack. When I called her out, she couldn’t handle it.

In the end, though, I recognized that everyone in this memory was me. I treat myself harshly. I also forgive and give second chances, like my boss. All of it, every single part of the memory, was me. And my response to my guide’s questioning energy was understanding of this fact.

So how then do I explain feeling unable to control my response to others? I realized I behaved just as I was meant to. I may not know the full reasoning but it will be clear at some point.

OBE: Laser Beam

I became aware of hearing a radio playing in my room. The sound became very loud to the point that I knew what I was hearing were noises-off. I kept peeling away from my sleeping body to see the source of the music. I could see an alarm clock far across the room and had a “memory” of messing with the controls. I thought it must have gone off like it does sometimes when I push the sleep button on accident.

When I lay back down in my sleeping body is when I realized, 1. I was not in my bedroom but in one from my past. 2. I was already OOB because I could feel my astral body shift off my sleeping one when I moved. Because it all felt so real, I sat there contemplating whether I should test my theory. Eventually, I just sat up and floated out of my sleeping body and landed by the side of the bed near the open bedroom door.

My vision was shifty and dark indicating I was likely in a lower portion of the astral. I walked up to the front door and held my hands in front of my face to try and see them. I saw nothing but still said, “Clarity now” but I knew it wouldn’t work this time.

I flew outside where it was also dark. I couldn’t figure out if it was my vision that was turned off or if it was really dark. I felt my astral body pulled upward and said to whoever was in control, “Not so fast” and “No, I don’t want to go too high (meaning space).” I attempted to see below and occasionally got a glimpse of tree branches with newly sprouted, bright green leaves. At another time I saw the starry sky overhead in such detail it was surprising.

I’m not sure why I was resistant to the pull but I kept asking someone – “It” – to keep me fairly low to the ground. I did not want to go “to space” which is where I felt “It” wanted to take me.

Ultimately, this struggle brought me back to my sleeping body but I did not leave the astral. Instead, I made my way back outside. I don’t remember much of this trip except that I began to sing at the top of my lungs. This cleared my vision to the point that I realized it was indeed dark outside. I was able to see the area around my Mom’s house and flew around as I sang. I don’t remember what I was singing but I do know I was using my singing voice to talk to “It”, that powerful force that was still attempting to take me “up there”.

At one point I spotted a solid black pickup truck parked by the house. I was still singing and remember saying something to “It” about the truck. I wanted to see someone inside and had hoped I could manifest them, but it was empty. So, I picked up the truck and carried it with me up into the sky. It had no weight at all and for some reason I liked having it close to me. Eventually, the truck’s windows became black like the rest of the vehicle and it took on an unfamiliar shape. It was elongated with rounded corners and I was extremely shiny to the point that if I wasn’t looking for it, I wouldn’t have seen it. It would have blended in with the night; become invisible.

I grew bored of flying and wanted more interaction. This brought me back to my body once again. This time, though, I was talking to “It” when I heard a loud bang. I jumped and went to the window where the noise originated. To my surprise I saw someone outside facing me. I couldn’t tell who it was at first because the blinds were in the way. Looking more closely I recognized the person. I thought, “It’s my daughter!” I banged on the window in response and saw her smile and laugh. She had been trying to scare me.

I quickly flew to the front door and outside to meet her. We hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I asked her, “How did you get here?” She pointed to a vehicle parked at the end of the sidewalk. I saw a dark colored SUV. The passenger window was rolled down.

Excited to have my daughter with me, I urged her to come flying with me. I flew up to the treetops. From that vantage point the full moon was visible. It was low in the sky and extremely oversized; massive. It wasn’t white but had a yellow tinge and the “face” of the moon was quite distinct. Excited, I yelled, “Look! It’s the full moon!” It took my breath away and so I figured it would also interest my daughter. It didn’t. She went her own way.

Realizing I was now alone, I went down to the waiting vehicle to see who had brought my daughter to me. I peered inside and saw two young Hispanic girls. The one in the driver’s seat had a small child in her lap. I said, “Oh, you have a baby!” and then corrected myself, “No, a child, with you.” In the back seat were more children. They had blankets and were not sitting in the seat but snuggling together behind the driver’s seat. I said to them, ‘You should put on your seatbelts.” The driver said, “We will.”

That’s when I noticed something odd. The two older girls had very large guns with them. They were black and I saw no distinguishing marks but I assumed they were machine guns by their size. I said, “You have guns?” They didn’t look concerned so I reached toward the gun the passenger was holding. She handed it to me barrel first and it was heavy and cold in my hand. Feeling the weight of it I said, “Woah.” I knew it was dangerous to take the gun barrel first but she didn’t even flinch.

I wondered if it was loaded so turned away from the car and aimed the gun at the darkness beyond. When I fired it did not make any noise. Instead, a green dot appeared in the distance. It was fairly large and just hovered there. I questioned the girl, “This is a flare gun?” She nodded her head. I asked who it was for. She said, “Protectors. They will come now.” In my mind I envisioned an army of armed men in black would be coming soon but knew that was inaccurate. I didn’t know if I should be worried or not, so stood there watching the green light. It wasn’t fading and was very obvious in the darkness.

The last thing I recall is seeing two Rottweilers intertwined, curled up together as if sleeping but their faces indicated they were on alert. Their positioning reminded me of the Yin-Yang symbol.

I returned to my sleeping body and lingered there for a while. My body was uncomfortable. My left arm a bit numb. So I settled into my body, moved my arm and opened my eyes.

Part of a song repeated in my head, “Don’t you worry child, heaven’s got a plan for you.”

Considerations

The movie I was watching was on my mind as I fell asleep. I was talking to one of my guides throughout the movie. I was curious about CE-5, the method/project used to make contact. I thought about trying it but realized I had no interest in getting the E.T. to materialize for me. They already did, back in 1989. They seem to come to me without me asking or calling them. In fact, I think the guides I speak to are Them.

The last portion of my OBE reflects what I watched. The green light, specifically, is like the laser pointers used to point out the craft in the night sky. Like other OBEs, the “force” I feel pulling me was present, but this time, rather than assume that force was me, it felt to be an Other. I also did not want to go “up” despite knowing from previous experience that it often means I will be taken to extraordinary places.

I did ask to resume Contact, which could mean anything, really. I never initiated Contact to begin with and would never ask Them to come display themselves as proof they exist. I already Believe and have reached what the participants of CE-5 are seeking on my own. Yet, I do feel They have more to teach me. All I can do is ask Them to show me what I need. And it appears I needed to be reminded that we are all One, as per my first dream.

Next time I plan to just go “up there” when they start tugging on my astral body. I already know what happens. I speed up to the point I can’t imagine going any faster. I lose my astral vision, enter the void, and “blink” to a new location.

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Dream: E.T. Message “The Alarm Will Go Off.”

So much has been going on since I last posted. The motivated and free-flowing feeling I had in my last post continues and seems to be growing. Yet there still remains with it a feeling that I need to go with the flow and not take action unless appropriate in the moment.

During my days I have been smiling frequently and listening to music I normally would not listen to. The music is upbeat, mostly dance and pop music by more recent artists. I find myself dancing to the music as I work at my computer. My body seems to want to move on its own and I can’t help but burst into a huge grin and go with it. I find myself listening to music more often, too. I like to take long walks and listen to the same music, singing along while I walk. No telling who has heard me and thought me odd but I don’t care!

In the evenings I feel to be not alone so much so that I can’t help but wonder what is going on. Often I feel this unreal sorta feeling, like I am between time, not here nor there. When I get like this it feels like a part of me is communicating with someone, but I can’t quite catch what is being said.

Last night, before bed I got this feeling that someone (Spirit?) was close by. There was a presence directly in front of me that felt to be asking for my attention. I acknowledged it and continued to watch my show, which just happened to be about NDEs. As I watched the show I was filled with K energy that originated from around my lower back and spread throughout my body. It was a warm, comforting energy that wrapped around me, filled me and then just stayed with me while I watched my show. It felt like I was being asked to pay attention as if a message was forthcoming. My dreams appear to support this.

Dream: Two Doors 

I was at work. It was not the building where I normally work (symbolic of my life path) but reminded me of an old, downtown building with multiple floors. I sat at a long, rectangular table with coworkers I didn’t recognize. I was bored and feeling somewhat out of place. I can’t recall what everyone was discussing but it was something to do with preparations and updates to the business. 

At one point I remember holding in my hand a large, balloon type object. For some reason, in my boredom, I began to press myself against it and felt my root chakra activate. It seemed like I was just trying to keep myself occupied during my boredom because the feeling I had the whole time is that I didn’t want to be there and didn’t belong there. 

Eventually I opted to leave. As I walked toward the door I looked at people who walked past me. I realized there was nothing I could do to help them. They didn’t even see me. They were asleep. The expressions on their faces told me they were focused. They were all “workers” (HD Generating types). I remember thinking, “I’m not like them. I’m not a worker.” 

A woman who reminded me of someone I know, was playing with her baby and son. She had rolled her baby to one end of a space and was going to retrieve her son. It was some kind of game where she took them back and forth between spots along a designated path. Back and forth, over and over, repetitively (symbolic of cycles repeating). 

I saw the exit (option to change path) ahead and walked toward it. I went through the door that led to the building’s main entrance/exit. When I reached the area where the door to the outside should’ve been, there were two older people standing there, confused. Someone had renovated the space so that the door was moved. Now there were two doors instead of one. One was up a short set of stairs to the right and another was to the left on the ground floor. I somehow knew the door up the stairs was to another place and time. It felt like a dimensional portal. The other door went to city streets similar to somewhere in New York City and to the present time and world. 

I opted to take the door up the stairs. When I opened the door I was suddenly floating in the air up high above a vast landscape. The land below was riddled with brilliant white crystal shards. They glowed and it reminded me of the movie The Dark Crystal. The land itself was almost barren. It looked like an explosion had occurred there. I immediately knew the crystal shards needed to be reunited and felt that a part of myself went to work doing this. I watched a man float about and take pieces of the crystal and heal the land by touching the pieces to various parts. In one such instance I watched him touch a piece of crystal to the ground and a white, glowing liquid flowed out of it into the land. Eventually the man shoved the largest piece of the crystal into the heart of the land which was some distance away at the lowest point. When he did this, the landscape transformed immediately into a beautiful paradise with lush, rolling green plains, tall, snow capped mountains and vast river systems. There was color everywhere and it was fantastically beautiful. I had a feeling of awe and knew that I had chosen the correct door. 

Dream: E.T. Message

I can’t recall the parts leading up to the end of this dream, which is disappointing, but the part I do recall is likely the most important anyway. 

I was standing with a group of people and my attention went to this small, floating, silver disc. The people with me didn’t see it, though. I recognized it was a E.T. craft and so spoke to it. I asked it, “Who are you? Why are you here?” 

The craft seemed to be able to communicate with me via telepathy. There was a visual as I received a message of an up and coming “test”. I saw test materials – a pencil and paper among other things. My attention turned to a timer sitting next to the paper and pencil. It looked like one of those kitchen timers – round, red, with a white clock face. I remember hearing “the timer will go off” or “the alarm will go off” and then something would happen, something like an explosion or event of some kind. I replied that I wasn’t worried about the test and knew I would pass it because I had passed it many times before.

By this time, the silver disc was no longer part of my dream experience. I had entered into the in-between.

As I lingered in the in-between I remember catching myself talking to someone as if I was trying to summarize something I had been told. I said, “So, I will be split into two”. This brought me to full awareness and out of my reverie. 

Afterward, I wondered about the E.T. portion of the dream. It has been so long since I had any E.T. contact. But was it E.T. contact? And what did the messages mean? What would this “alarm” be? So odd!

Other Considerations

I can’t help but notice that in the first dream I was thinking of those around me as “workers” and thought of Human Design and the Generating types of the world, which compose more than 70% of the population. They are “the workers”, they are here to “respond”. Lately in my daily life, I have been recognizing that I cannot help them if they don’t want my help, if they don’t ask for my help. If I try, they won’t hear me and will likely be irritated by anything and everything I say to try and help. So in the dream, as in my life, I just want to get out of the space they occupy. Why would I want to be where I’m not wanted or acknowledged for what I have to offer?

The dream itself seems to be a reflection of how I have been feeling in general lately. Bored. Unseen. Unacknowledged. Of course, I am also feeling joyful and carefree, but behind that I still have this restless energy that wants to do something, to be of assistance to others. Yet, I observe all around me people doing what that woman was doing in the dream. They are going back and forth, repeating patterns, unaware and happy to remain so. I realize there is nothing I can do to help them. I would love to find an exit to another world like I did in the dream, a world where I can make a difference, where I am seen. And I think, in a way, that is exactly what I am doing when I turn on my music and dance. I am going to another world, my own world, one where I can make a difference even if no one else notices.

That is the beauty in being a 2nd line (HD). We dance to the beat of our own drum. The creator of HD says 2nd line Hermits are there on the first floor of the house (1st lines are in the basement), dancing to the beat of their own drum. They are happy to remain alone in their little worlds. In fact, their motto is “Leave me alone!” lol The windows are open, however, and others can see inside. They are curious, drawn to the 2nd line/Hermit because they see in them something they desire. They know the 2nd line knows something they do not. Others come knocking, asking the 2nd line to let them in but we often ignore their knocks because, mostly, we just don’t want to be bothered. lol It takes someone very special to draw us out of our “caves”. Someone or something, VERY special.

Maybe the “alarm” from the message in my second dream is what it will take to get my attention? Who knows, but for now I am happy to be dancing in my own little world for a while. I am happy there being left alone. It would take quite a bit of ruckus for me to stop my dancing and answer the call, that is for sure!

Featured Image from The Definitive Book of Human Design, the house analogy of the lines of the hexagram (HD personality profiles).

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Kundalini Dream and Message: This is What You Came For

A very active night. Previously, about three days ago now, I told my guidance that I was willing to have Kundalini encounters in dreamtime. I did not expect that it would happen so quickly, though!

Kundalini Dream

I’m with an older man whose looks I can’t recall. I think he is heavy set with dark hair and a beard. I watch as he picks up a tiny, newborn kitten (the feminine). It is weak and he doesn’t think it has a chance. I tell him otherwise, take it from him and explain that I use to raise baby squirrels (locking away emotion) when I was young. At this point I recall thinking the kitten was a squirrel.

I feed the kitten milk using a syringe. The man is still skeptical but I can tell the kitten has the will the live by the way it eagerly takes to the milk.

Then I’m in a room that reminds me of a library but I don’t see any books. There are rectangular, wooden desks and someone I know from work is sitting at one. I am nursing him to health. It appears that he was the kitten and now he is better and stronger. I show him a schedule of when to take his medicine and what dose but the medicine is written in weight – 1lb.

We discuss his progress and he says, “I did 5lbs today.” I advise him to be cautious and not to rush things. With this I realize his parents are not his parents but caretakers. I know them, also, and wonder why they abandoned him. When we talk about this he seems very sad. In fact, I can feel what he feels and so am quite sympathetic. I know in time he will just get stronger and so I keep encouraging him.

Then two other people come into the room. One I recognize. It is my SIL. The other is a woman I do not know. As the woman is leaving, my SIL says something like “Go with God” (she would never say this in real life) and the woman turns back and says, “God has nothing to do with it.” My SIL rolls her eyes but the other woman never sees it.

Seeing my SIL roll her eyes, I call her out, telling her something to the effect that for every time she rolls her eyes, someone is doing the same to her four times as much.

I turn around, feeling very sad for some reason, and crawl into bed (not sure where my bed comes from but it was there). I curl up on my left side in the fetal position. I can see the man I am helping looking at me. He looks concerned and comes over to comfort me. He says something but I can’t recall what. It feels like he is offering to hold and comfort me. I allow him to join me in bed.

I begin to cry as he crawls into bed on my right and spoons with me, wrapping his arms around me. I can feel how open and vulnerable he is – I am. In him I recognize aspects of myself.

A warm energy hits my heart and root at the same time and spreads throughout my body in all directions. It is absolutely beautiful! The feeling takes my breath away. I am Home.

Sadly, I woke up in that instant, tears still streaming down my cheeks, the beautifully warm energy still swirling around my body. It was especially noticeable in my heart chakra. Oh how I have missed the heart bliss!!!

I remember hearing a song playing in my head and a guide being nearby. The song was Come Away With Me by Nora Jones. The specific lyrics I heard were, “Come away with me on a bus….and I want to wake up with the rain falling on a tin roof…”

I remember saying to my guidance, “I really like him.” I said this because I recognized the man as he is not a newcomer to my dreams. He isn’t a frequent visitor but I have seen him in my dreams at least 5 times over the last four or five years. Usually we are just friendly, having long discussions as we sit facing each other. He tells me about his life, how he feels, his concerns, worries, and plans. In one he was telling me what he wanted in a partner. Specifically, that he wants to marry and have a family of his own, but his relationships don’t ever seem to pan out despite lasting years sometimes. He has also expressed interest in me but has not acted on it because I am married and I am 10 years older than him. I do not fit with his goals, specifically that he wants children of his own. My response has always been understanding, acceptance and compassion.

Never has the Kundalini been present in dreams where he was involved. I don’t even know if he is conscious of meeting me in dreamtime. If he is, he has never mentioned it, but then I have never asked him.

So, when I woke from this dream I was somewhat concerned about what it might mean. I have long wondered what was going. Why do we keep meeting up in dreamtime? Are we just soul family helping each other out?

I considered talking to him the next time I saw him and fell back to sleep with this on my mind.

Dream: This is What You Came For

The same coworker from my previous dream is present. I am listening to him talk to a friend. He is explaining how he is still recovering from his most recent breakup. He is very sad and lonely. I recognize this feeling, this melancholia, because I have felt it, also. He is Homesick, searching for something he cannot quite put his finger on and feeling lost and worn down by all his perceived failures.

For some reason I am on the ground below him facing up. It is quite odd but they don’t seem to notice I am there. The woman tells him that he needs to take his time and heal. She reminds him there is no rush.

As I listen I become extremely emotional and begin to cry. I know that if this man and I were to get involved that it would be an impossible situation. Our age difference alone would be a challenge, but there are so many other factors involved. I remember thinking how unfair and painful these types of connections can be. I think, “I don’t want to hurt anyone else.”

My tears wake me up and I lay in bed in for a while, again wondering what the hell is going on.

Another song is going through my head. The lyrics are, “Baby, this is what you came for. Lightning strikes every time that she moves.” But the end part, after “lightning strikes” is muted. It is as if I am being reminded that my purpose here involves the Kundalini and that “lightning” will strike.

My guide is present with me there is a discussion between us. I only recall bits of it now. I remember knowing my energy tends to draw in others. That it is just the way I am. I should not blame myself but just be aware of it and cautious. Then I recall being shown a piece of mail, like a FedEx envelope. I hear, “Express mail” and “Two days”, but I know it is not “mail” but rather symbolic of communication. So, in two days I will receive communication?

Dream: Melting Ice Cream

I am in a kitchen (nourishment). There are young children of various ages around me. I am thinking of my diary (worry) and memories of this very large pad of paper comes to mind. It is gigantic, about four feet by two feet! In it I am writing very personal things, some of which involved the coworker all my other dreams have been about. I lay the pad down. When I see it, I am reminded of very ancient papyrus. It is stained and worn, like I’ve been writing in it since the beginning of time.

Then I am outside, the man from the previous dreams is still my focus. It seems like I am gathering information on him. Spying on him? IDK but I am definitely observing. I turn around and see what looks like my diary rolled up and being pushed along by the wind. Worried someone will find it and read it, I frantically run after it. I tell a woman to stop it and she puts down her foot and it stops but then falls down near some stairs. When I go to retrieve it, I find it is not my dairy at all but a laundry hamper full of pillows (comfort, safety, protection) and other items, mostly various fabrics. I offer it to the other young women around me. They come and take what they want and I select two pillows. My diary is no longer on my mind. Instead I seem to want to encourage the women to take pillows from the basket.

Next, I end up in the kitchen with children. I open the refrigerator (feeling cold or frigid sexually). It is nearly empty. I open one of the drawers and begin to write in ink on the bottom of the drawer. I see my handwriting on the inside of the other empty drawers, too. When I realize that others could see what I am writing, I erase the ink with my fingers.

That is when I discover ice cream pops (desire, youth, lust) of various kinds inside one of the drawers. They are melting (failures). Some have bites taken out of them. I realize the children had snuck the ice cream and then hidden it in the fridge because they were afraid of being caught.

I sternly ask the children which one of them did it. They try to lie but I am able to get confessions from some of them. I explain it is wasteful. They apologize.

There is this one young girl who I speak to briefly. She had left one of the ice creams inside. I said, “Wow! You have grown so much! You’re taller than me now!” I look up at her. She has long, dark hair and a medium complexion. I know she was Hispanic and I also know who her mother is. I gave her a huge hug and am very proud of her.

Then another young, Hispanic woman came over. She opened her arms up wide and the young woman said, “She wants a hug, too.” The two young women together pulled me into a three-way hug. It felt warm and comforting and I immediately began to cry. The emotion I was feeling was a mixture of relief and Homesickness.

When I wake I am feeling grief over my age and my lost youth. The years flew by and I am already in my 40’s. I realize that I need to really cherish these years of my life because, one day very soon, they will be gone. My children will grow up and have lives of their own I don’t want to be left regretting not spending more time with them. Every day is precious and should not be taken for granted.

Interpretation

I woke in tears yet again. The above two songs kept repeating in my head. I consider my dreams and their symbolism. My conclusion is that I am being encouraged to heal and allow the Kundalini to show me the path.

There are obvious fears holding me back. Mainly that the Kundalini has a tendency to bring about painful experiences for myself and others. That is why I pull out of the first dream before the energy is able to fill me up completely. But it is not just fear of hurt that causes me to pull away. It is also the memory of Home and how homesick it makes me when I experience Home again. This reality is so harsh and ugly in comparison and I end up horribly depressed when I come “back down”.

111, 1111

I’ve also been seeing 111 and 1111 quite a bit lately. I see it on the clock almost daily. In fact, one of the visions I had this morning while in the in-between was of 1111. Then today, I noticed my stats:

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Kundalini Dream: Have Dinner with Me

The vivid dreams continue……

Dream: Have Dinner with Me

The dream began outside in a stadium(firmness of purpose to finish what was started and achieve goals). I was walking along bleachers and saw this very small man. I went up to him and commented on his appearance, taking his hand into my own and saying, “You hands are proportional to your body.” He said, “I’m a dwarf (stunted growth, holding back emotion). I look young but I am 32.” I smiled and responded with, “Really? Wow. I’m 36.” My memory of the little man is vivid. He looked just like a miniature man. He had tanned skin, muscles and a few wrinkles. His face was etched with fine lines and he had fair hair. He was like a realistic doll, maybe about three feet tall.

There was a man with him who spoke to me at that time. Somehow he and I ended up in a different scene. The bleachers disappeared and we were walking into an event hall (likely indicative of “Kundalini events”, of which I’ve had many). The room was decorated in dark colors and we were dressed in formal attire. I remember saying to the man, “I come here all the time”. It felt like he and I met at this event hall, as if I had gone to these events many times but this was the first time he had attended.

The next thing I know I am in my mom’s bedroom (private self). The man is with me and we are laying on the bed together (my happy, relaxed place). Across from us is a walk-in closet (space to store or keep things hidden). Though I can’t recall what exactly was said, I remember talking to the man and him being very forward with me. What his energy said is more memorable to me than his words anyway. An amazingly erotic energy was coming from him and sparking in me a desire that was hard to ignore. I remember laughing quite a bit. I felt playful around him and began to try and get away from him. It felt like a game of tag almost with me moving away from him and him grabbing me and pulling me back to him. Each time his energy would envelope me and I would feel overcome with desire and longing.

Still laughing, I crawled into the walk-in closet (“closeting” myself or my emotions). The light was on and my face was at the level of the shoe rack. The man was behind me. I continued to laugh playfully as I inched my way into the closet, moving shoes (various approaches to life) out of my way. I grabbed a pair of dress boots (strength, victory) and put them on top of other shoes on the rack to my left (the feminine). I commented, “I have way too many shoes!” I could feel the man’s energy as he inched his way closer, still hovering over me. He grabbed onto my waistband and I laughed playfully as I stared at rows of shoes in the golden hued closet. The energy intensified and I began to lose my breath.

Suddenly the man stood up in the doorway of the closet. I turned around and looked at him. I don’t remember what he looked like, though, which is unfortunate. He said, “Have dinner with me.” I laughed and said, “Why don’t we just have sex and get it over with.” 

Dream: Hidden Apartment

I was in an apartment (emotional state) hallway (transition period). I was tending to the children who suddenly burst out a hallway exit and onto the streets. I went out to gather them up and complained to my husband for not keeping a better eye on them. 

When I came back inside I walked down the hallway. At the end was a door (barrier to growth, closed off). To the right was another door, a closet. An older man with a beer gut opened a door on the left and took me into the door at the end of the hallway. Inside was a very neglected space with an old sofa, a window and a dresser. I remember being surprised it was there and that it was only one very tiny room. I walked back out into the hall and turned back to look through the still open door. The man’s friends were inside the room and for a moment it reminded me of a scene from The Godfather. The air in the room was hazy with clouds of smoke.  I could see a group of men sitting on the yellow plaid sofa inside. They were smoking and drinking. One looked at me. It made me feel very uncomfortable. 

Still in the hallway, I looked where the closet on my right had been. Instead of a door I saw a shelf with various first aid supplies on it. 

The scene shifted and I was looking again at the room at the end of the hallway. I felt like a child and there were other children with me. Curious about the room, we went inside to explore. Again the room was in disarray but this time there was a door in the back. The old man who had previously shown me the room was there but he was grossly overweight. He was wearing white underwear with a white undershirt. The room was very dirty, like it hadn’t been cleaned in years. Items were strewn all over. The floors, furniture and walls had splatter marks all over them. 

One child with me needed to use the bathroom so I ventured through the door at the back of the room hoping to find a bathroom. There was a bathroom but it was nasty. Two toilets were on the back wall on either side of a sink. There was also a urinal. Everything with a drain was clogged, stuffed with toilet paper and filled to the rim with nasty water. I told the child, who looked like my youngest, to use the sink to pee because it was the least clogged and the toilets were unusable. When he peed in the sink it also overflowed and I had to pull my son away from the nasty water.  

The obese man then showed me another room even farther back. It was a bedroom that had been closed off for quite some time. It was not as nasty as the other parts of the apartment. I did not go in but could see a bed with white linens inside. 

Considerations

The first dream appears to be an invitation to continue with my clearing work via the Kundalini. As has been my tendency for the past year or so, I avoided the opportunity, choosing to instead “hide in a closet”. I knew immediately the closet was about closeting my emotion. I am trying to hide from something. What? I’m not sure but it likely involves high emotion. 

The shoes in the dream are all on the left side of the closet. The left represents the feminine. The shoes represent all the past roles I’ve played. The boots indicate success in regards to the feminine aspect.

The dwarf in the dream seems significant. I believe he is there to bring attention to my masculine aspect which is stunted and not able to grow into his full potential.

The second dream may be a sneak peak at what is holding me back. The hidden apartment indicates a part of myself that has been neglected. This wound is full of negative emotion that has become stuck and is clogging up my energy body. It may be a partial memory of aspects of a past life or lives, lives where the masculine is seen in a negative light. The connection to The Godfather could be indicative I view some part of my past as “bad” or “corrupt”. The morbidly obese man could represent the masculine energy; gluttony, over indulgence, lack of self-care. 

While the second dream may be pointing to my past lives, it could also just be there to remind me of the many negative beliefs I have about men from this lifetime. From this life experience I have become wary of men in general. I do not trust them. Their number one motivation is sex. They attend to their own needs first. They generally view females as a their servants. We are there to cook their meals, tend to their children, clean their house, wash their clothes, and provide them with sex on demand. So, to put it simply, men are scum.

Yeah, sad, but I can’t help how I feel. The older I get, the more convinced I am that my observations are accurate. Find me one man whose primary motivation is not sex. Just one. And I bet if I do find one he long ago lost the ability to get an erection.

So it’s no wonder that my response in my dream to the man’s invitation to dinner was what it was. Let’s just have sex and get it over with. In the end, isn’t that why he invited me to dinner in the first place? Why tiptoe around the obvious?

Featured image source – http://www.istockphoto.com

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Dream: Teaching Government – and a Message: The Light Will Prevail

I was in a car driving in Montana. I watched the beautiful scenery fly by through the car window. The trees had a vibrant orange foliage. The colors, blurred by the speed of the car, formed what appeared to be smear of orange on the window.

I knew I was going to report to my new job. I was unsure what I would find. As we rounded the bend I saw a large building and thought, “That must be the school.” 

When I walked up to the school building, teachers were rushing about and I could not find anyone to get directions from. I saw the front desk and went to inquire there. The counter was long and gray with a second counter below it for people on the other side to rest against. It reminded me of a teller’s station at a bank. The receptionists were on the phones talking or talking to people at the counter. I overheard their conversations. They were discussing a new policy to ensure no one came into the building infected. Everyone, even the teachers, had to wait in a long line to enter the building. They had their temperature taken and were given an amount of time to wait before interacting with others. 

When I got to the front of the line and spoke to the receptionist I told her I was the new teacher. She asked me what I was going to teach and I said, “Government”. She congratulated me and instructed me to check in, which meant I had to go through the line. 

I walked around to the side of the building and bypassed the line in order to observe everyone around me. It was all very odd to me the way they operated this school – the lines, the mini-quarantine, the metal detector-like boxes everyone had to walk through. They even had little gates that lifted only when a person was granted access. 

When I went through the line I somehow managed to avoid the same stringent inspection. They asked me where I had been and I said, “I was on a walk”. They told me, “Stand over there.” I think I was told I had to quarantine for a whole day but that isn’t what happened, so maybe it was 1 hour? 

A nice woman approached me and gave me keys to my classroom along with some other materials that I would need. I remember a rolling chair that had a compartment on the back where I could hide things. A bag of chips was in the compartment when she demonstrated how it worked. There was a cover that went over the back of the chair. The chair also had a way to position the chair to make it easier to get out of it. I thought it all a bit too much but it was cool regardless. 

Then the woman asked me about my plans. Did I tend to create lesson plans well in advance or as needed? I told her I liked to have an outline for the entire year and several weeks of plans written. She seemed to disapprove and explained that it was expected that I create lessons daily because government was a subject that required students to really master each topic before moving onto the next topic. I nodded my agreement and said that every lesson could be adjusted to the needs of the class. I remember thinking of how the subject itself could be very difficult for some students to master.

The woman also explained that I would be jumping right into teaching. The previous teacher would not be there to assist. I had assumed he would be so this made me a little apprehensive. 

I looked down at the keys to my classroom and decided I would go take a look at it. I had to get into yet another line. This time a student came up to me and smiled. She told me she would be in my class and was highly energetic. I greeted her warmly but I began to second guess my decision to teach there. I wondered if I was under contract. Could I leave whenever I wanted? 

The next thing I remember is being in a car with the woman who had given me my introduction. We were heading to the nearest town which was 30 minutes away. The town was where I would be staying while I was there. I remember asking about the distance and the woman said the school was at least 30 minutes from any town. I again thought about changing my mind. Did I really want to have that long of a commute? A commute that long in the winter could be brutal. 

As we drove I looked out the window and commented on the river. I think my daughter was there. I pointed out that the rivers in Montana were three times the size of the rivers in Texas. All I could see out both sides of the car was this massive river. It was very turbulent with rocks poking out in places. 

A man who happened to be in the car with us was asking me about Texas rivers. He said he owned land in New Braunsfels. I told him about tubing on the Comal River. In my mind I saw the crystal clear waters of the much smaller Comal River. In comparison to the river I was seeing out the window, the Comal was so much more beautiful with its emerald green, clear water and calmer, lazy current.

Considerations

It seemed like the dream was a warning of what lies ahead. When I woke I was thinking of the info I received in a dream in 2013 that told of the Corona Virus and a “change in government” that would happen around 2022.

For me, Montana is symbolic of my journey. As one travels through life, they encounter mountains and valleys. The mountains are the challenges, the valleys are the calmer, easier periods. In many of my recent dreams, I’ve recalled conversations with others about possibly relocating to Montana. I have declined those invitations, indicating that the harsh winters are just too much for me. Now, in this dream, I am moving to MT to teach government. I can’t say for sure if “government” is directly related to my own journey, a Collective lesson, or both. Based upon the virus precautions I observe in the dream, I can’t help but think I am being shown a glimpse of a possible future, one where the US is requiring everyone go through stringent protocols in order to just live their lives. This may mean long lines, temperatures taken, vaccines given, quarantines required, etc. 

The discussion I have about lesson plans seems to be a warning that it would be advisable that I not make any long-term plans at this time. Instead, it is suggested that I take it day-by-day, changing my plans as needed and adjusting to “student” needs. It could also indicate that there is no set path at this time; that the Collective is experiencing a type of “zero point” and so no one path is THE path, but instead all paths are available and open to us. 

When I write about this zero point I see a single point that then explodes into a starburst pattern in all directions. 

The massive river I see indicates a period of turbulence and challenge. I am contrasting this to a calmer river – perhaps a period in my life. In the dream I wonder if I can change my mind. I see the crystal clear, emerald green waters of the Comal River as preferable to the massive and turbulent water of the river I feel surrounded by in the car. 

It felt like I was being encouraged to enjoy this time in my life because major change would be coming. It feels like that change is not something I can control, like it will happen around me via the changing political climate in the US – and likely the world as a whole. I heard, as I awoke, that the Light will prevail in the end. It wasn’t just the Light in general, but my own, also. 

Pic of my personal journal with the prediction (#19)

I was reminded of a list of predictions I was given early into my spiritual journey. So, I opened up one of two, three-inch binders that hold a printout of my personal journal. 

I found the list of predictions for the next 50 years. It was written in August, 2003. One of those predictions did have to do with the political climate in the US.  

“[A] Political party shift will occur in the middle part of the fifty year period. Two new political parties will emerge and Democratic and Republican moderates will merge into a new party.” 

Considering I wrote down these predictions in 2003, the “middle part” would be around 2026. This is very soon! 

I find it difficult to imagine that the Democrats and Republicans would “merge” in any way, but it is possible. The political parties in the US have undergone numerous shifts throughout history. At one point the Republican party was more like today’s Democratic party. So, anything is possible. In fact, I was thinking just this morning how during the Civil War the term “radical” was used as much as the word “liberal” is used today to describe members of a political party with more extreme beliefs. 

I suppose this dream could be considered quite ominous but I prefer to focus on the message I received as I awoke: The Light will prevail.

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Snow Day and Dream: Flying!

We got snow in Central Texas a couple of days ago. There is still some on the ground. Usually snow, if it sticks, only lasts a few hours this far south but we got 4 inches of snow and the temperatures have stayed pretty low, especially over night.

While I like snow, I don’t like it enough that I want it to stick around for two days. Please, weather, warm up enough to melt it all! I prefer warmer weather to this frigid, bone-chilling, cold.

Still, though, snow can be quite lovely. The sound of it falling, the perfect blanket of white covering all imperfections on the ground, the way it illuminates everything…..

Here are some pictures I took. Enjoy!

Dream: Flying!

I couldn’t sleep last night for some reason. When I did finally sleep I had a dream that continued even after I woke several times.

The dream started out with me observing a military operation that was a coverup. The military would send children to “safe places”, but in reality they were taking them to a place where they would eventually be killed. I watched as several groups of siblings were taken away with permission from their parents. I protested quite loudly but no one would listen to me. So I watched this process unfold, unable to do anything to stop it. It was awful. It felt so real and was so upsetting that when I woke I believed I had relived a past life.

When I returned to sleep I was running and hiding. There was still this sense that the military was up to no good. There were dogs on my trail and I kept hiding under trees and in bushes hoping to avoid capture. I ran under some low hanging branches of a tree and tried to climb up off the ground. As I did this, a dog ran up under the tree with me. My last thoughts were, “Fine! I guess I will just get caught” as I looked down at this fluffy, golden colored dog who obviously was not there to do me any harm.

I woke again, this time asking to go OOB or at least to get a dream that was more positive and fun.

The military theme continued. This time, having been “caught”, I was ushered into a large classroom/gymnasium area. It was one of many and the one I was put in was across the hall from another one. Inside this classroom I was asked to wait and get settled. I remember seeing a whiteboard with writing on it and some drawings by previous students. I believe the students were in and out of the room while I was in it.

It was too cold in my classroom so I adjusted the thermostat. As I did so, a woman “teacher”, dressed in a brown military uniform, came over. I made an excuse but she said she was just tying to get to the eggs. She leaned over me and grabbed something, an egg. I remember thinking that what I was seeing as a classroom was not what she was seeing/experiencing. I briefly saw into her “world” and realized I was standing in a kitchen in front of the refrigerator.

My classroom then became a mixture of the two scenes. I saw a trash bag and people cleaning up after a meal right in front of the teacher’s desk. Inside the bag I could see a piece of paper with handwriting on it. I read a bit of it. It appeared to be an observation of me by someone I know in life. What they wrote was inaccurate. I remember thinking, “He can’t think that about me.” So I went and dug through the trash when the woman left the room. Turns out it the piece of paper was hand written notes by me describing arguments I’ve had with my husband. One of them was over something at work. I was embarrassed that this was out in the open for everyone to see because the arguments were very childish and a waste of time and energy.

Eventually I grew bored, grabbed the key to my room, unlocked it and so went across the hall with my dog (not sure where he came from). When I got to the other classroom I began to unlock it. A military woman came and stood next to me. I could see that inside the classroom a whole group of higher ranking military personnel were inside. The woman indicated I was turning the key the wrong way. I felt scrutinized, so went back to my classroom.

When I got inside the room had changed. It was a massive gymnasium-type space filled with students wearing PT clothing (gray sweat pants and shirts). The male PT officer came in and began directing the activities. He had in his hand a PVC pipe and selected students to demonstrate to the group how to do pullups. He pointed to me. I said, “Me?” He nodded “yes” so I went up to him. He asked me if I knew how to do a pullup. I said I did. He then instructed me to grasp the pipe with palms facing toward me. I said, “You mean chin-up then.” I showed him I knew how to do one but when I grabbed hold of the pipe I began to float. I became weightless. It took some practice but I did the chin-up easily, knocking out ten reps without issue. The officer congratulated me in front of the class for good form.

Once I was freed of being in the spotlight, I wanted to float more so I begged the PT officer to let me. He nodded that I could and I began to float and propel myself all over. I ended up flying everywhere, zigzagging across the room as if I was on a bungie cord. I invited other students to join me. Some looked at me like I was the “bad” student, standing below me with disapproving faces. Some joined in on the fun.

Eventually, I was flying with two men through a tunnel. The men were telling me it was time to settle and get back to work. I was flying over the tops of their heads messing with their hats. Both had plastic water bottle caps on their hats, which I picked up and inspected, thinking, “Why are these here?”

Interpretation

This dream seems to one of those where I am semi-aware of a conversation or situation that is not meant to consciously recalled. Therefore, I end up experiencing two settings overlapping. One is in a home, the other a classroom/gym.

There is definitely an emotional past life or current life situation being discussed. The military is symbolic of a serious situation or lesson/struggle I am involved in and discussing. Something is happening to individuals who I feel are innocent or unknowing and I am unable to bring attention to the situation. I feel powerless to help and this causes me great upset. Based upon my emotions and reaction to the dream, it feels like these “innocents” are humans who are not yet “awake” and so not unlike innocent children who I want to protect. These children are being lied to and manipulated and it ultimately leads to their demise. So, it is a Collective dream.

The seriousness of the dream and whatever is being discussed takes its toll so I ask for a reprieve and am given it. Though I don’t become lucid, it was very real, as if I were fully lucid. The flying was amazing! I wanted to go back to that part of the dream when I awoke.

Interesting enough, the symbolism in the end is the most revealing. Going through a tunnel while being told it is time to get back to work is symbolic of my return to the body and physical life here on Earth – I need to focus on doing what I came here to do. The bottlecaps symbolize my roots and connections to humanity.

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Vision: Tidal Wave

Woke this morning and had a vision as I was considering my life at present. I saw a tidal wave coming up over my head. It never hit because I came out of my reverie.

I instantly began thinking of the omens I have seen on my walks since we returned home from Montana. The first was a dead rabbit. Yesterday I found a dead dove in the middle of the field as if it just decided to lay down and take a nap.

Tidal wave symbolism – appears when one is under a great deal of pressure or is going through significant life change. The water aspect is all about emotion and in the form of a tidal wave it is a surge of emotion where one feels overwhelmed or unable to cope with what is happening in their life. Usually these changes have to do with procrastination or avoidance of one’s true feelings about something.

Dead dove symbolism – to see a dead dove means an ending to a significant relationship. Because doves mate for life, when one dies the other often sits by the body of their loved one to their own detriment, meaning they will often die, too. So, to see a dead dove indicates a major loss that brings with it great change. It represents the cycle of death and rebirth.

Dead rabbit symbolism – I already touched briefly on this symbol but I will repeat it. A dead rabbit is indicative of loss, usually the loss of a family, family member or loved one who is like family. 

Altogether these omens and visions seem to point to a great change. At first I worried it meant the death of a family member, and I suppose it could mean that, but eventually I just let it be. I know from previous sightings of dead doves that this omen indicates an end to a relationship, at least for me. In the past I was forced to let go of someone, so it was a symbolic death. I can’t recall ever seeing a dead rabbit before. As for tidal waves, I’ve had visions of them before but cannot recall a specific incident related to those visions.

From experience I know that trying to prepare myself by going through every possible scenario never works. I have to just wait and see.

Dream Theme: Ants

I’ve also had two dreams recently about ants. The first was on New Years Eve:

Dream: Burning Ant Bed

I was talking to someone about my credits in History and considering just taking 5 more classes to get my Master’s in the subject. I remember talking about how easy writing papers was and how the subject came naturally to me. I recall seeing my daughter’s name spelled two ways in a paper I was reading and pointing it out to her but her being grumpy about it.

Then I was walking through campus and noticed large, modern houses were built pretty much everywhere. A three story white, modern home was in a very odd place, like right on the corner of the sidewalk. I walked a bit talking to someone about the campus when I saw a ant bed near the sidewalk. I decided to set it on fire to kill the ants when a small, black and white puppy came over and stood in the center of the burning ant bed. I watched it, shocked but somewhat curious as to what it was doing. Eventually, noticing its paws were raw and bleeding, I plucked it out of the burning bed and inspected it. It seemed okay but it would need bandages.

I went to the house I had gone past and saw my FB friend Betty. I showed her the puppy and she was like, “Oh dear, the nuns won’t like this.” Then a nun wearing all white came by and Betty gave her the puppy to treat. I walked away, worried I would be asked lots of questions. I felt guilty for letting the poor pup burn and for setting the fire. I walked past Betty’s husband and told him my worries and then woke up.

Interpretation: History class symbolizes a life lesson that I am discussing. Perhaps the lesson relates to my own karma? I seem to feel fine about completing a degree in it, confident that I can do it. When I woke my first thought about it was that I am starting to feel better about my ability to complete karmic contracts in this lifetime. Since my daughter’s name comes up, it could be that I am considering my children and my karma with them and their father. My guess is the 5 classes could be a time period of 5 years or maybe just 5 more incidents or milestones that must be reached.

Ants in general symbolize hard work. A whole colony of ants is likely accomplishments made with one’s group or team. An ant colony can symbolize startling changes that are occurring in my life. Because I am burning the colony it could mean that I am attempting to destroy or end relationships. The puppy might represent someone in my life who is young and growing who I want to protect. I see the puppy being burned. Eventually I save it but feel guilty because I didn’t save it sooner and so it is wounded. I’m not sure what the nun means but it could be that I give up control to a higher power.

Dream: Drowning Ants

In the second dream I was outside watching a family playing with a water hose in their backyard. The dad was spraying the kids and they were enjoying getting wet. Then I walked over to the edge of the yard where I saw an ant bed. It had been drenched with water. I took a stick and began to push into the ant bed, tearing it apart to look inside. The ants were waterlogged and desperately clung to my stick. I saw them and marveled at them just like I did as a child.

Interpretation: Ants are about teamwork, hard work, creating something through cooperation. Ant beds must be about community or family or the Collective. Water doesn’t typically kill ants, it just slows them down. Water is symbolic of emotion usually. I am using a stick to look at the ants like I did as a child. It is as if I am observing how “emotion” effects the group. I’m not sure which group but it is, likely “Family” because I had been watching a family play with a water hose. 

Nothingness

In addition to all of the above, I have been feeling this strange feeling of being in between life cycles. It is the open feeling, like I am waiting to be shown the next step. Where earlier in the Fall months I was feeling ready to make drastic life changes and considering doing so, now I feel as if I need nothing at all. It isn’t necessarily a peaceful feeling but more a feeling of nothingness, as if I an drifting in a void. Where I am usually seeking a glimpse of future available paths, now there is no seeking beyond the present. I don’t seem to care. It isn’t apathy, either, it is…..nothingness.

To be honest, the feeling is not one I am comfortable with. So last night I attempted to dig within a bit to try and tap into any remaining emotion that might need release. I have a tendency to bury emotion, especially emotions that are overwhelming or difficult to handle, and sometimes the only way to move that emotion up and out is to do a bit of digging. Besides, often, for me at least, no feeling is a symptom of too much feeling.

I was able to contact some emotion, emotion connected to a past event from over 5 years ago now. There was very little emotion remaining but enough to bring some tears. And, of course, I was confronted with what I can only describe as a hole in my heart that when inspected doesn’t reveal anything except emptiness. I am very familiar with it. It seems to be a part of my Being, as if I were born with it. 

Where in the past I would attempt to fill this hole with whatever I could, I have learned that it is pointless. Nothing external will work. In fact, I am not even sure a hole actually exists but is instead a belief most likely compounded by perceived rejection and abandonment by others. 

Mostly I feel ready. For what? I have no idea but I guess that is the point. 

Edit: After I wrote this post I went on my morning walk. Within a minute I found the playing card I had seen some time ago. When I first saw it, it was the 6 of Hearts, but today when I saw it the 6 of Hearts part was completely gone. The weather must have destroyed it. So it was a completely blank playing card and a validation of what I just wrote. I feel “blank”, just like the card.

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Back from Montana and Surprise OBE

Happy New Year!

We returned from Montana last night. I didn’t get much sleep because there were as many fireworks as the 4th of July. Never heard so much noise on New Year’s Even before. I hate to burst everyone’s bubble of hope, but I highly doubt 2021 will be much better than 2020 no matter how much you celebrate it’s passing. The world has a tough decade ahead and this is not just me being a pessimist.

To give you an idea of what I feel is coming up this year (at least for me), I was met by a gruesome sight on my morning walk. Right before I saw the below image, I had been wondering what 2021 would bring:

A dead rabbit. 😦 This is symbolic of loss, usually the loss of a relationship, friendship or family connection.

Not far from the rabbit was a flathead screwdriver.

My guess is there is quite a bit of work to be done this year.

Montana Trip

But this post isn’t about what is to come, it’s about my trip and how I ended the year.

My children did excellent for their first time traveling by plane. Everything went smoothly with some added bonuses. We got a rental upgrade and a room upgrade when we arrived in Bozeman, the weather was perfect, the roads were clear and the air not too cold. We spent the first day on the slopes of Bridger Bowl Ski Area and the last day near the same ski area at a place called Crosscut Mountain Sports Center where we tried cross country skiing. All three skiing adventures were firsts for my kids. My husband had never tried cross country skiing and I had not done either type of skiing for at least 20 years.

I spent the first two days with my youngest and did not really doing any downhill skiing, which didn’t bother me because, though I can do it, I never really found it fun. I don’t enjoy going fast and do not like heights. When I was young I had plenty of experiences with downhill skiing but put it on my “been there, done it, got the t-shirt” list. I prefer cross country skiing to the downhill version so much that I actually owned my own skis, boots and poles when I lived in Bozeman. 🙂

We didn’t get to do much more than that except on the last day when we visited the Museum of the Rockies on the MSU campus. We ended our day activities before 5pm when the sun set.

I had no past issues come up during this visit. Bozeman has changed dramatically in the last 20 years! When I lived there every native Montanan complained about the number of Californians moving in, buying up land and pushing up the cost of nearly everything. I remember someone once saying their (the Californian’s) goal in Bozeman was to make it “the next Aspen” – a vacation destination during both summer and winter months. Looks like they met their goal. The small town is now full of every modern convenience and there was little left of the sleepy little college mountain town I once loved. Bozeman no longer resembles “genuine” Montana living. Instead, it feels very much like Austin does – dotted with “McMansions”, homes built to look “modern” and expensive, sidewalks and trails made for suburban living, and expensive designer shops everywhere.

Very few people I encountered in Bozeman were locals. They didn’t have the typical Montana accent. Most were from out-of-state, college students lured by the outdoors, the mountain skiing, and proximity to Yellowstone National Park. In fact, on the ski slopes we were told that there were a lot of Texans skiing on the days we were there. Ha! I met a family from Georgia and Louisiana, too. There were more “ya’lls” being spoken than “you guys” that is for sure. More “Coke” drinkers than “Pop” drinkers. Sigh.

We stayed at a hotel that was located in what was once a huge field adjacent to the Costco. The entire field was full of hotels, shops and restaurants. It really did look freakily like Austin! They even had an Outback Steakhouse, a Target, a Ross, and other shops similar to the ones I frequent near my home. My first reaction was, “WTF! What happened to the field!?” lol When I left in 2000 there was Wal-Mart (across town) and Costco and that is about it.

All in all, the trip was a good one but not a healing one. Old memories didn’t resurface. There was one exception, though. On one of our many drives through the city, I saw the Bozeman Inn and said to my husband as I turned and pointed, “Wal-Mart is over there”. Sure enough, past the next light there it was, just as I remembered. I must have driven that route a hundred times. So I guess some of Bozeman is still the same as it was 20 years ago. 🙂

Surprise OBE December 29th

On the second night of our stay I had a surprise OBE. I made sure to write it down to record when I returned, so here it is.

I remember talking to someone who told me that he would love to meet me for lunch when I was in New York. I remember thinking it odd. “I’m not in New York and won’t be….”I thought. When I realized I was dreaming, I decided to exit my body even though I felt for sure I was wide awake.

Sure enough I easily left my body. I went toward the door and ended up outside my mom’s house standing next to a large pick-up truck. I knew that if I opened the door my guide would be inside. Excited, I went toward the door but was pulled upward at lightning fast speeds, up, up into space. I felt strongly from within, “No….” Ugh! I couldn’t do anything except allow and when I did I ended up standing in front of a door.

I opened the door. When I went inside I saw an Indian woman and her two sons. When they saw me they totally freaked out and began to run away from me, muttering something about ghosts. I called to them, telling them it was okay and showing them I was as real as them. They seemed to know me and I felt that I must be a grandmother to the boy. I went up to him and kissed him and ruffled his hair, speaking to him the whole time. Some part of me intimately knew this family.

I remember as I spoke that my voice was masculine and I questioned this but then decided to let it go. I knew if I tried to analyze it I would end my OBE and I wanted to stay. I thought, “Who cares if I sound like a man?” lol

The family relaxed and then showed me how the home had changed. I was taken to the back where they were putting in a huge swimming pool. I explored it and discovered there were two pools. The first was cold and deep. The second was shallow and warm with little kiddie pools and a tube slide. I got into the second pool with the two kids and ended up lost in a dream within a dream. I believe I was talking about a past life and ended up reliving it.

When I came back to my body it was by choice. I remember thinking, “I’m ready to go back now.”

Pictures

I will leave you with a few pics of our trip. Most are pics of the mountains but there is also a pic of a T-Rex at the Museum of the Rockies, the MSU Campus sign and the image of the mountains through the windows of the airport. No pics of me and my family, though. Keeping those to myself.

Enjoy!