Category Archives: Dreams

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Disappointment

Happy Father’s Day to all you father’s out there! Hope you have a great day.

My husband has gone off to ride motorcycles with his brothers today. He recently got his motorcycle license and is really into it. So his Father’s Day is going to be a good one.

I’ve been quite low mood lately. Just grumpy, pessimistic and disappointed. The messages I received about June 13th and “three weeks” seemed to have no purpose. Nothing significant has happened to indicate why I received these messages.

Some minor things have come up that may or may not be significant. I realized I have a sensitivity to wine last week when I had a couple of glasses of Pinot Noir. My nose became stuffy after around the third sip. This is normal for me so I disregarded. By the second glass, however, I had congestion and noticeable restriction when I breathed. I looked up my symptoms because as far back as I can remember I have always become congested when I drank wine. I finally thought maybe it was not normal. And there it was – alcohol sensitivity. In my case specifically sensitivity to wine. So no more wine for me I guess. BUT I do fine with Tequila!  🙂

Another thing that happened was a hair change. About two weeks ago I got my hair cut and then I dyed it darker to cover up the overly blonde ends I disliked. After washing my hair it curled quite a bit and even after brushing it straight it would curl up again. I let it dry naturally and had a significant amount of wavy curls. This surprised me but I figured it would go away. Well, it hasn’t. What was once straight hair with lots of body is now wavy/curly hair.

I had naturally curly hair as a baby and toddler. My best guess is that this change has to do with aging somehow.

Not much in dream recall these days. I sleep very deeply and struggle to remember details from my dreams for the most part. Some dreams survived in my memory from last night, though.

Dream: Vic’s

This dream was odd. The first thing I recall is being outside by a house in a suburb talking to a woman. She motioned to a truck (hard work) parked (delay) by the curb in front of the house. I walked over and saw a dark haired man lying under the truck face up. He was awake and looking up at me. For some reason this seemed completely normal. Then a light rain began to fall and he just lay there in it seemingly lost in thought. I said to him, “I sometimes like the rain, too, especially when it is like this.” I walked back to the house.

Then, I was in a grocery store (searching for alternative paths/choices) but it looked like the inside of a house to me. I volunteered to make a type of brownie(pleasure, indulgence) that was half blonde and half chocolate (maybe good/bad, yin/yang). I went to get the ingredients and found myself in a section of a house. All the lights were off. When I went in I said aloud, “Oh, I forgot this was Vic’s.” The women there was not very nice and scoffed at me asking me not to call it that. I noticed she was very uptight and grumpy about it. I turned to her and told her how grateful I was that she bought the store and was tending to it. I hugged her tight and burst into tears. It woke me.

Flash dream memory – I had hairy armpits (nonconforming to society). The hair was dark and almost as long as a man’s would be. I hid it and looked around to see if anyone noticed. Then decided it didn’t matter anyway.

Dream: Oklahoma to New York

In this dream I was traveling by plane with my husband to New York. He told me we could stop off in Oklahoma (hard work brings reward) on the way. I saw a map of Texas and Oklahoma along with some specific destinations. Remembering it now, I know I had dreamed of this map before.

He dropped me at a school and told me he would be meeting a friend at a bar in NY (new path) and would come get me when he was done. There is brief memory of traveling in a boat (emotion) at this time.

I walked into a school gymnasium and sat on the bleachers with the others. They were all very young, like 13 or so, and I felt way too old to be there. None of the students seemed to notice, though, so I might have looked their age for all know.

The teachers was up in front teaching about a subject I do not remember now. We were being instructed on how to do something but all I recall now is taking this large, blue ball, and rolling it around under my hip area. The ball was one of those plastic, bouncy balls about one foot in diameter.

For some reason I decided to take off my skirt and underwear (private self) when I used this ball. There was a male student sitting to my right so I made sure he didn’t see. I had on a long enough shirt to cover myself.

As class was being dismissed the young man asked me a question about the next class. I quickly put my skirt and underwear back on as I answered him. My answer indicated the next class was about female anatomy and I told him, “We’ll talk about breasts. You probably won’t be interested…well maybe you will.” I said this smiling.

Outside I waited for my husband to return. I sat on a bench in the hallway and had in my lap a laptop (communication). I closed it and it began to play what sounded like a movie in Spanish. The other students around me looked and started to giggle. I opened it and turned it off saying, “I thought I turned it off.”

My husband arrived and said his friend cancelled and we could continue our trip. From there I ended up inside a house waiting for him yet again. There was this bar in the kitchen (spiritual nourishment) and a large, German Shepherd dog (protection). I had a sandwich (wholeness) and put it on the bar. The dog began to sniff it and I three soda at him to get him to leave it alone. It soaked half my sandwich and the floor. I cleaned it up and ate the meat out of the sandwich.

The woman who owned the house came home and I told her about the spill. She asked if I cleaned it up and I said I had.

Then I was outside watching my husband sitting on a pier with a fishing pole (seeking answers) in his hand. I watched him catch a tiny catfish (hidden truths, deception, disappointment). I was talking to another man as I watched. A boat was in the distance and it felt like I had traveled on it. I remembered the earlier part of the dream before going to the class. I had been on the boat! Then I saw my husband catch another small catfish and commented on it saying, “He keeps catching catfish!”

Dream: Man Boobs

I was at a construction site (transitional phase in life). Someone mentioned they were building a hotel (seeking better life). I saw a great hole (seeking self-understanding) in the earth and went up to one of the workers to ask if it was for a swimming pool (cleansing). The man I approached apologized as he tried to cover himself. He had very large breasts (nourishment, love, nurturing) that looked like those of a woman. I said, “Don’t worry. I’ve seen it all before.”

I turned to the hole in the ground. It was a narrow rectangle. I asked the man with the boobs if it was for a pool and he said it was. I spoke to a worker on the other side of the hole, asking, “Will it be fiberglass or concrete?” He said, “Fiberglass.” I noted the pieces on the sides of the hole and said, “Oh, that’s them then?” He nodded his head. I said, “Fiberglass won’t last as long. Maybe half as long.” He said, “Actually only 30%.” Note: I suspect this part of the dream indicates that whatever reprieve I am seeking will not be permanent.

Music

When I woke this morning and other mornings this week, a particular song was going through my head:

“I’ll never be the same if we ever meet again” were the lyrics that kept going through my head. I haven’t heard this song since 2016 after I returned from Tennessee.

Another song followed this one and came later in the morning. The lyrics that I kept hearing, “If ever you’re in my arms again, this time I’ll hold you forever.”

Funny how both songs indicate what could happen, but only “if”.

The songs didn’t make me feel better. If anything I felt worse. I was wishing that I could go back to 2014 and erase every spiritual experience I had after that. All of it. Wipe it from my memory. I feel more dead now than I ever did before it all happened.

In fact, I went all the way back to 2003 when I made the decision to quit teaching and follow the spiritual path. What if I hadn’t done that? How would my life be different? Would it better? Would I be happier? If I had stayed at my teaching job, built my house  and lived for myself, maybe I could have avoided all of this. What if I had never awakened?

It seems to me that ignorance is bliss. Right now I long to be ignorant. I keep questioning my path and wondering about my “mission”. If I am here to shine my Light, I sure don’t feel like I am succeeding. In fact, this morning it sure felt like I am one of those who came to gather information and take it back with me when I die. This means all I am here to do is experience whatever I can. But I feel done with experiencing. Experience has sucked me dry. I don’t want any more please. I’ve had my fill, thank you.

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Cleansing Dreams and June 13th Message

Experiencing the drowsiness upon waking again. I must need the sleep.

Dream: Penguins

The dream began with me standing on a beach. The water was clear like a swimming pool. The waves came in slowly and rhythmically.

Suddenly, a flock are very large, gray birds swooped in and landed in the water. They had with them their young and as I watched the birds all began to resemble penguins. I yelled to my son who was with me, “Look! They must prefer this water because it is so calm and clear!” I watched them for a while, fascinated.

Then my daughter came running from around the side of the water. She was yelling and waving her arms to tell me she was there. I immediately motioned for her to stop. I didn’t want her to scare away the penguins. She didn’t stop and the water began to foam and the waves crashed into the beach, all previous rhythm lost. The penguins remained but I could not longer see them clearly through the foamy water. Eventually they retreated too deep to see.

I entered the water to get a better look and ran into a young man who was wading through the water. He saw me and said, “I know you!” Then he lovingly grabbed me around the waist and tossed me very high into the air as if I was a tiny child. I could feel the sensation of falling back down.

Dream: It’s Okay to Cry

Then the scene shifted and I was walking into a bathroom (cleansing and renewal). An older man was with me. His hair almost completely gray but his face indicating he was much younger. He was smiling and I knew he was the man from the water. He said, “Have you met my family? This is…..” and he went on to introduce different members as he walked past me into the bathroom.

Then I was inside the bathroom heading toward a stall. It was locked and I asked loudly if they were always locked. Someone called out, “Just open one.” I approached a stall and as I reached to open it, it opened and a woman came out grumbling about not being able to poop because of some medicine she was taking.

As the woman walked past me I looked more closely. She was covered from head to toe in white towels (protection). Where her skin was exposed it was red and raw as if it had peeled off. For some reason I knew she had cancer. I stopped her to ask her if she needed a hug. She turned and looked at me and said she didn’t, that she was okay. I said, “Come on. Hugs are good.” She came close and was talking, making excuses for this or that and making little sense. I wrapped my arms around her and gently pulled her toward me, hugging her close. She kept talking about things I can’t recall now. I could feel the thick towels and worried I would hurt her raw skin but I kept hugging her saying, “It’s okay to cry.”

Eventually the woman began to relax and emotion was evident in her voice. I only recall that I kept encouraging her to cry and continued to hug her close to me. The more emotion I felt from her, the more emotion I exhibited. Eventually I was sobbing as I was saying, “It’s okay to cry.”

Another woman walked into the bathroom and interrupted us. The women wrapped in the towels thanked me and left. I turned back to the stall she had been in and entered it. Inside there was no toilet, just a small hole in the ground. Used toilet paper surrounded the hole and it was quite dirty.

The women who interrupted us was waiting for me as I exited the stall. She resembled someone I went to high school with who was very tall – 6ft. The woman spoke to me about the women wearing the towel. I can’t recall what we talked about but whatever it was sent me back to the moment I was hugging the women and I began to sob. The emotion and tears woke me up.

It took me a while to get myself together. The emotion felt cleansing so I allowed it. The whole dream sequence felt cleansing.

A song kept coming into my head. The lyrics, “Wait if I’m on fire, how am I so deep in love? When I dream of dying I never feel so loved.”

Considerations

I slept for about 10 hours and when I woke I wanted to sleep 10 more. My body felt so relaxed and free from pain and I kept shifting in and out of the in-between.

I remember thinking about the part of the lyrics, “When I dream of dying…”, and thinking, “Funny, but I rarely dream of dying.” For some reason I kept thinking I might die soon but I was not concerned about it. It was just a passing thought that really didn’t feel to be mine.

There was a brief consideration about what would happen when I did. It seemed that my dreams would become my reality and there would be no more physical reality to interrupt them. I liked the idea and remember listing out all the things I hate about being in physical reality. I said, “It’s so heavy here. I hate feeling heavy all the time. I won’t miss that one bit. I hate having a body. I hate having to eat, to drink, to use the restroom.” Then I thought some more and said, “It’s not the body I hate really. I like this body. I just don’t like the survival part. I really hate surviving.”

I had a distinct feeling of what surviving feels like. It is a constant fear of the alternative – death – that is always there. Even when I am well-off, when I have all I could ever need, the feeling is still there, looming in the distance, reminding me that at any moment I could lose it all and be back in a position of scrambling to avoid death. And all the feelings that accompany the downward spiral toward death are feared – pain, despair, hopelessness, abandonment, hunger, starvation, cravings, and feelings I don’t even have words for – all the ways the body degrades as it heads toward inevitable death.

As I mull over all of this now, I wonder if I was being shown why I often ask for death when I am feeling tired and worn down by life. Death is an end to survival and to be free of survival and all that comes with it would be glorious.

June 13th

Though I haven’t written about this yet, I have had several dreams and incidents relating to this date. The first dream was on May 24th. In it I was with a man who I was dating in secret. We ended up at a ceremony inside a chapel where a huge bonfire was set. The dream ended with us playing a board game and saying our goodbyes. He left saying, “See you in three weeks.”

A week later or so I had another dream where I was having a conversation with my SIL. In it she said I had told her June 13th would be when something would happen. I can’t recall exactly what I told her. All I woke remembering was the date.

At work the next day I was thinking about the date. It felt familiar but I couldn’t figure out when I had heard it or why. As I sat at my desk I saw a flier I had been given a week prior. The date on it was June 13th. It is the date of a pool party being held for all the employees.

Still, it was odd and I couldn’t help but think of the message, “See you in three weeks.” The time frame matched up almost perfectly.

Then on Friday the same flier was sitting on my desk. I scanned over the date on it while in a bored state and read it silently to myself but rather than read what was actually there – “Thurs June 13” – I heard myself read, “Thumbs up.” At the time I was not fully aware of it happening until the “thumbs up” message seemed to repeat. Then I shocked back into present time and thought, “What?” and re-read the flier to make sure I was not seeing things.

So I guess I will see what happens on that day. Maybe nothing at all.

Penguins

The above dream is the second dream I’ve had in a week about penguins and clear, relaxing water.

On the same day I had the dream about June 13th (the one with my SIL) I had a dream about miniature penguins.

I had a dream of going on a trip to an island full of tiny, black and white birds that reminded me of miniature penguins (problems are not as big as they seem, keep you cool). I was on a boat (emotion) looking down in the clear, aqua-blue water (clarity) as they swam in the wake. I put my hand in and touched one. I was fascinated. They were about six inches long.

On the island I took pictures of them. They were everywhere and I had one of those Kodak disposable cameras.

The penguin dream I had last night was of much larger penguins and their babies. Again, I was fascinated by them and my memory of the dream was as if everything slowed as I focused in on them.

Penguins are not creatures I normally see in my dreams. I can’t remember ever seeing them before. They symbolize change, adapting to change, expecting the unexpected and solving problems in unconventional ways. For more information about penguin symbolism check out this website.

 

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Energy Reveals Trauma

The past week I have been sleeping very deeply and waking up in the mornings feeling as if I took a sleeping pill prior to bed. It has been very hard to get out of bed and my dreams have been difficult to remember. This morning, however, I did not feel overly tired upon waking and had some very memorable dream experiences.

Dream: School is Out

This dream is hard to recall now. I remember being inside a school. I was going to a classroom to help with the party. There were gifts for all the children lined up along the walls of the classroom. It felt like a mixture of the last day of school and the day before Christmas break.

The next thing I remember is standing outside with a couple of other people. I was with my partner who I think might have been in uniform, maybe a police (protection) uniform because it was blue. There was a woman and her partner with us. We were all smoking cigarettes (change needed). It felt like the woman and her partner were to be on our “team”, like part of a group. I was giving the woman advice. She had horrid anxiety attacks and I was telling her to use the tools in her toolbox like deep breathing and visualization. In my mind I could see how the tools, when used consistently, would lead to a lessening of the anxiety attacks. The woman eagerly listened to me and my advice, smiling and relaxing. In the end I put out my cigarette. The visual of putting it out and seeing the butt (end of a process) is very vivid.

Dream: Car Junkyard Spring

I was walking through a junkyard (repressed fear, anxiety) with my husband and one of our children. I could see old cars scattered here and there. The soil was light, like sand, and there was a deep pool of water (cleansing) that was springing forth from the ground. We got into the water. It was deep and cool. I believe it might have been muddy but that also could have been the color of the sand as seen through clear water.

While in the water I was looking at something my husband was working on that was sitting on the side of the pool of water. There was white paint (fresh outlook) that I took and painted the thing with. It might have been a boat but I don’t know now. It was about the size of a house cat. My husband came over and grabbed it, getting white paint all over himself. He was not happy about it and I told him I had painted it like he asked.

Then I was walking around looking at the place. There had been a lot of rain and the pools of water were quite high. I saw an older couple walking toward a section. They got in and disappeared from view. I noticed a large, hotel (period of transition) was built in the middle of the junkyard. It was yellow and tall and very few people were there. I wondered why they were not clearing out the junk and utilizing the spring.

I walked inside the hotel and it was practically empty. I walked past a laundry room (cleansing) and then an office. Inside was a lady at a desk. I asked her if she owned the place and had ever thought of buying up the land around her to make use of the spring. She seemed annoyed but explained that she used her part of the land and her family owned the rest. I told her about how the springs (unconscious mind, soul experiences) made me feel. I said they were “magnetic”, and “energetic” and “healing”. I told her, “If you ever are interested in allowing people to gather here to make use of this place, I would love to come.” Again, I emphasized just how wonderfully spiritual and healing the waters were. Something in my words triggered tears and I woke up sobbing.

I continued to cry after waking and had to get up to blow my nose. Somehow I was able to fall back to sleep.

Dream: Advice

I was standing in a shifty gray space. There was a car and some people. I overheard an argument. Someone was trying to keep a woman from doing something. I remember yelling, “STOP!” They did.

Still at the car scene and still not able to see well in the shifty environment, the man by the car began to converse with me. He was someone I knew and resembled the blonde guy on the show Supernatural. The discussion is hard to recall now but from what I recall we were discussing how he needed to get back to this woman he knew. He said that he had never felt such a strong connection with anyone, not even me. When I realized he said he had not felt a strong connection for me I said, “You did with me. You said you did.” He went on to describe this three-way love triangle type situation that involved himself, a woman and another man. They all felt the magnetic connection and bliss for and with each other. I remember seeing a photograph of them together, sitting on a sofa, entwined in each other’s embrace, faces revealing the bliss they were experiencing. I missed that feeling.

At some point I began to hear static, like a radio station, and music began playing very loudly in my ears. I felt as if I was wearing earbud and tried to adjust the volume. The scene shifted as I did this and I was walking into a brightly lit bedroom (private self). There was a large, queen sized bed in the center that was unmade (indecision). Toys littered the floor. The room was a mess.

I continued to talk to the man from before through the noise of the radio station blasting in my ears. I was asking him what his plans were. Was he going to go to NY?

As I waited for his response, a radio DJ’s voice was very loud in my ears and I remember being annoyed because it was keeping me from hearing the blonde man. I quickly made the bed (conclusion to issue) in the room, propped up a pillow and sat down, legs stretched out in front of me.

The blonde man answered me by telling me that I needed to go back to the introduction or beginning. He described it as the “easy” part, saying that one must get really good at the “easy” part before moving on to the next parts. In my mind I saw this large section of life. It was like a bubble, but thicker and bluish. I could see into it but there was nothing inside. Completely clear. This section was the “easy” part, the part that one must go through and get very good at before moving onto the next part. When I saw this and heard his words I understood completely and responded with, “Yeah, that makes sense.” At the time I was thinking how to be good at anything you must master it and that this introduction period, or easy period, is an opportunity to do that.

As I mulled over what I was told the radio station again got very loud. I turned it down and relaxed into the bed which began to moved back and forth ever so slightly as if I was laying on a raft in the water. I fell into the feeling and as I did a rush of ecstasy shot up from my root chakra into my lower chakras. It came in waves that were very intense and fast. As it rose I was hit with a mixture of pain and pleasure that ultimately woke me.

Energy Reveals Trauma

When the feelings subsided an energy lingered in my root and second chakras as well as in other places like along my spine between my shoulder blades and my third-eye and crown. A slight pain lingered in my second chakra area, it was achy like I was raw from having way too much sex. A song was going through my head – Why don’t you just meet me in the middle…

I decided to feel into the sensations of my body to see if they would tell me anything. The achy feeling stayed despite my feeling into it. I felt very tight and restricted on the inside, like the energy had forced its way into my second chakra and left it stretched and inflamed. The feeling seemed to be telling me that this sensation was the result of a physical assault, rape and trauma. Though the initial painful pleasure of the rising energy didn’t make me feel violated in any way, the after effects brought on a memory of being violated. My body’s response was to try and keep it from happening again. Energetically this would result in a restriction in flow in the second chakra.

The dream with the man and the strange love triangle may be a hint to the past trauma. The man I was talking to seems to have been someone I felt a magnetic attraction to. The feelings that I am able to contact from the dream were that he rejected me in some way and then denied our connection. There were hints of anger and betrayal but also upset over the fact that he was more interested in another and seemed to not even remember or even acknowledge what we had together. Finally, there was a sense of being invisible to him.

As I lingered in the in-between another song came to mind. I heard distinctly, “listen to your heart.”

 

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Dream: Candy & OBE: Cereal

I didn’t sleep much last night. My husband is out of town on business (NY this time) and that always causes interruptions in my sleep. I woke up at 4am from the below dream and couldn’t go back to sleep for over an hour from the thoughts it evoked.

Dream: Candy 

My mom (other version of self) and step-father asked me to go to Wal-Mart to return something for them. My mom handed me her ID and a bag of unopened, individually wrapped hard candies (pleasure, indulgence). I looked at the bag noticing most of the candies were green (healing, heart, emotion). My mom said something about two of the three being wrong or tasting wrong and then said,”We never opened the bag.” I told her I would return them.

Then I was driving in a car through a parking lot (delay) looking for a place to park. I noticed very few cars were up front so drove very fast through the isle toward the front. I kept an eye out for reverse lights so as to not get hit. I found a spot of close but had to wait on someone to back out, so I decided to go for a spot on the other side, the left, but noticed they were handicapped and so took the original spot once it opened.

Inside the store resembled a clothing store like JCPenney and not Wal-Mart. I remember walking down the isles toward an intersection. I stood in the middle of two intersecting isles and kind of zoned out. I do recall feeling energy rising up from my root and feeling the orgasmic bliss as I stood there where anyone and everyone could see me. At the time I think there was someone watching from the right. It felt like a male but I can’t recall much more than that.

When I came “back” from the bliss trip I had been on, I went up to a lady and asked for a return. I gave her my mom’s ID and told her I wanted to return the candy. She was nice and took the candy and processed the return without issue. We chatted a bit and I recall worrying there would be an issue because it was my mom’s return, not mine, and I did not have her credit card. I didn’t need it, though, and the lady sent me on my way asking me if I wanted to take the bag of candy with me. Another lady that worked there questioned her and told he that wasn’t the policy on returns. I remember turning toward the lady and reaching toward the bag as I told her I would take it. I don’t remember if I took it, though.

When I woke up my mind would not stop mulling over certain things and I ended up having to sleep on my stomach in order to calm myself down. Stomach sleeping tends to ease physical hunger, anxiety and over-active mind for me for some reason.

OBE: Cereal

I was not surprised to end up OOB.

I was downstairs in our kitchen. An older woman was talking to another woman about her problems. I heard her and began to talk to her about my dream and the problem I had been thinking of previously. The woman gave me a look of, “Did I ask? I was talking.” So I stopped talking and turned around toward the counter. An older man was standing by the sink. I said to him, “Does Adrian know about her birthday cake?” I saw a cake very clearly through the cabinets on a lower shelf. The old man said, “Shhh!” and came up behind me, put his hand over my left breast and pinched hard. He did this while pressing his entire body up against mine as if spooning me while standing. I said, “Ow! Sorry! If I see it there, wouldn’t she?” I was holding in my hand two plastic baggies. One was of ground coffee (awareness) and the other of cereal (trying something new). I remember feeling the man’s body very acutely and wondering why he was still standing up against me like that. I sensed he was aroused yet he did not have an erection.

My lucidity peaked suddenly. I shifted momentarily back to my body and then returned to the scene.

When I returned I was in the kitchen again and the old man was sitting next to a woman who looked a lot like my mom. I thought he must be my step-father and recall thinking about his erection problems and wanting to help him. I went up to him and felt from him a nervousness about my being close to him. He felt uncomfortable with his attraction to me and though I wanted to help I knew better than to push it on him. So, I decided to go toward the back door to go outside and explore and fly. I sensed if I did I would not be allowed, as if there was a lesson meant to be learned from the immediate scene alone. The minute I put my hand on the knob I shifted back into my body.

When I woke up I wondered if old men who could not maintain an erection had sexual dreams, if they experienced sexual arousal in dreams, and how the Kundalini would effect them physically. Would the K energy give them an erection they could maintain?

I’m not entirely sure what the “lesson” of the OBE was except that maybe I was being shown the cereal as a reminder of an OBE from long ago. In the OBE I was told,  when all you have is oatmeal, “sometimes you want cereal”. Now, when I see cereal in dreams and OBEs I know it has to do with a desire to change, a desire to shift things from the same ol’ same ol’ to something new and more interesting.

 

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Lucid Dream: The Garden

My family just returned from a five day trip to South Padre Island, Texas. It was nice though the drive is always a challenge. We took our dog, Monty, which made things even more interesting and fun. Extended family was also there at the same time. I’m not sure I liked that part, though. Too much pressure to do what the group wants tends to put a kink in my relaxation. I like to plan as I go.

This trip was mostly a lazy beach trip. We did very little besides the beach and pool. It was nice and relaxing. The kids had fun and the weather was perfect!

 

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May 20th

We left on the 20th, which if you have forgotten, was a date given to me by my guidance as a “heads up”. Turns out that morning I woke up crying from a dream in which I was asked a simple question, “Would you describe your life as warm or cold?” I answered, “Definitely cold.”

The dream went on from there with a discussion about why I thought as I did and me thinking of one particular time that I considered warm. This led to much grief and upset and I ended up waking in tears.

I also had a precognitive dream that suggests an issue at me and my husband’s place of employment. The past owner, who died many years ago now, was the one to give the message. He said point blank, “We are going down.” This was in reference to something happening on a particular construction job that was a missed and dominoes into a much bigger headache, one that could lead to the end of the company.

Lucid Dream – The Garden

Then this morning I woke from a strange dream I can’t recall now. When I returned to sleep I ended up lucid inside a space that was very calming and familiar to me. I was surrounded by people. Some were with me, others were standing around tables conversing. The tables were spread out around a garden with crushed stone paths, flowering vines, trickling waterfalls and pools, trees, shrubs, bushes, flowers, etc. There seemed to be a mountain of some sort near as well. I could perceive it as a sort of boundary to the garden and the rest of the garden seemed rectangular shape, almost like it was within a room.

Throughout the dream I was aware that the people in this garden were there to help me. Call them guides, my Team, or whatever, but I knew they were there FOR me. There were way more than I could count and all exuded a calm, peace-filled love and acceptance. I felt completely at ease with each of them.

Sometimes I would see someone that I recognized over the others, like a “friend” or at least someone I had memory of beyond that space. For example, I saw a very familiar dark haired woman with a bright smile. When I saw her I focused on her longer than the other and called her by name. We embraced and immediately passionately kissed and touched. I think I called her “Michelle” but can’t recall now. It is like names and conversations turn to gobbledygook in my mind once I wake. They swirl together like tie dye in my head. Literally. But only if I am not meant to remember them it seems.

I recall walking along with a guide or two talking and looking at the tables with people at them. It was almost like these were subject-specific “booths” to work through certain things. Like advice booths maybe.

Some things I recall being told were – “You are not use to looking like this.” This statement came along with reassurance and the sense that it was in reference to this life and this body. I remember feeling unsettled when I received this communication, as if the women telling me was trying to get me to understand why I felt like I did in this body and lifetime. When I heard her words I relaxed and accepted what was said as fact. It felt like truth.

I also remember being told, “This place is composed of people from your past, not your present and future.” It was not those exact words but the sense was that what I was experiencing was a kind of mingling with people I knew “before” (this life perhaps), which explained why I recognized them.

Every once in a while my lucidity would become so much that I would blink back into my physical body but every time I would relax and come back to this place. There was no doubt in my mind that the place was created for me, maybe even by me. It was Home, at least one of them, and I could feel it through and through. I encountered so many friends there and remember talking to them and recognizing their roles in my experience(s). They felt very much like guides but more than that. It is hard to explain.

In one particularly lucid moment I looked around at the garden and everyone vanished for a moment. I held my arms out in a T and began to spin in circles like a child would. I spun faster and faster until I entered a different scene from the perspective of what I think was a small child or infant. I could see a wooden nightstand next to a bed. The wall was covered in light colored wallpaper with tiny flowers on it. Near the floor I spotted a rip in the wallpaper and saw a dark almost black colored paint underneath. For some reason it felt like that rip was symbolic of the circumstances I found myself in.

Then I was watching from a different perspective, up in the corner of the room. I was looking at a woman dressed in very obviously 1960’s era clothing. Her hair was dark blonde and long with waves. She was talking to someone about making a choice, asking for advice on what to do. She was told that she had potential and did not need the added burden of a child. It felt like she was going to give up her child. Was that child me? I don’t know. I did not feel any attachment whatsoever to the scene I was witnessing. It was as if a scene from a movie or story. That is all.

I shifted back to my body momentarily and then back into the garden. I was standing in the very spot I had just been in before I spun into the other scene. Standing by a table were some “friends”. In front of me was the woman I had been with the entire time, though I can’t recall her features or anything now. I stared in front of me, the woman I was with seeming to be all around me but behind me specifically at this point. It was like I shifted into the middle of a conversation about my future and how to handle it. I remember being advised to “save” and I said, “Oh, you mean I will need to spend money and so have to save it.” In my mind flashes of buying necessities and such were coming to mind and I was thinking that the changes coming would mean I needed to be very smart in how I spent my money. I was told, “Not exactly.” I was advised again, “Save it.” I responded with, “Okay. I will save money.” At the time I was thinking to myself that I need to keep doing what I have already been doing with my paychecks.

There was more discussion then about what I would need to put my focus and attention on. It felt like we were talking about what I should eat but I am not so sure now. I was told to drink milk and heard the brand of milk. First I heard, “Science diet” and then “Hades”. I remember thinking, “What milk is called Hades?” I believe the conversation went with me asking, “Should I drink science diet?” And I heard back, “Milk.” That is when they gave me the name “Hades.”

My lucidity peaked again about this time. I remember seeing a man standing behind one of the tables. He was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. His features were very angular and I think he wore white. When I saw him I recognized him and immediately leaned in and kissed him. I could feel a tiny bit of his tongue in our kiss and I laughed and said, “I felt that! You always try and sneak in a bit of tongue.” It felt like he and I had history, what that history was I have no idea.

Near the front of the garden I heard lots of noise and a woman was complaining about the angels being allowed in too frequently. The woman was holding what looked like muddied white clothing. In the dream I remember wondering what the angels looked like and why they would be called in.

There is much of the experience that is lost to me now. I kept shifting back into my body and the longer I was in this garden place, the more lucid I became until eventually I did not shift back into it. When I woke I could feel energy in places of my body. The energy felt colored, the lighter the color, the more intense the energy. Like gold energy was the warmest and most active and blue the least. There was a massive golden energy around my left side that extended from my ribs to my pelvis.

I lingered in the in-between for a long while after and continued to converse with the female from my dream (who I never saw). I remember hearing the word “Vega” and also “Eniuanniki”. I saw it spelled as it was spoken and though it sounded familiar the way it was spelled did not match what I thought. There were lots of “i’s” and it reminded me of the word “Annunaki”. Honestly I don’t know if I was receiving the communication correctly. Maybe I was hearing more than one word? Hard to say now.

Considerations

After an experience like this it can be hard to put it all together into something that makes complete sense. The memories seem to have no order when I awake despite seeming to take place in order when they occur. It is like they are all happening at the same time to my mind and so it struggles to put it into Time order. So I am left only with a feeling and sense of this gift I was given.

First it feels that I was being shown a glimpse of Home and that it was given so that I recognized I was not alone. Yesterday as I was walking back from the beach to the hotel one last time, the gospel hymn, Softly and Tenderly was going through my head. Specifically, “Come home. Come home. Yea who are weary come home.” I actually sang the song as I walked to the hotel and recorded it on my Instagram feed.

Then I was being advised on something up and coming. I do not know for certain exactly what but during the dream I was thinking of being on my own again and concerns about money were on my mind. The advice to save and the strange Hades milk was given. Not sure what to think of the Hades milk! Milk = nourishment, abundance. Hades = underworld, wealth. Perhaps I am to drink abundance? Sounds like something my guides would tell me.

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Mother’s Day OBEs

Happy Mother’s Day!

It has been a while since I’ve had an OBE. This morning I woke at 6:40am feeling very rested and pleased with the quality of sleep I had. I was not eager to get up and start my day, though. So I decided to go back to sleep.

OBE 1

The first thing I recall is being in bed, covers up to my neck, snuggled in and feeling really drowsy. I kept hearing heavy metal music playing. At the time I knew the song but now I have no idea what song it was now. My husband got into bed and I physically felt the bed move with his weight. The movement and music signaled to me that I was dreaming.

As I lay there screens appeared in front of me of various scenes. My memory is foggy now but eventually, after seeing several and continuing to hear the music, I decided to go into one of the screens. When I did so my energy body shifted and I knew I was OOB.

Rather than emerge in the screen scene, I was standing inside an unfamiliar bedroom. The lights were off but I could see enough to make my way around the bed toward the door. Outside the room it resembled my Mom’s living room. I saw the front door and thought, “That was fast” in regards to the distance I traveled to get to the door. Also, I recognized my energy body was very, very balanced and had I not known I was OOB I would very likely have thought I was awake.

The interesting thing here is that as I started toward the door intent to go outside, the entire wall and door became transparent and I could see the front yard in vivid detail right through it. Then I was outside and immediately took flight. As I did I saw my dog Trooper running toward me. He was barking and not acting very nice, which is odd. I wasn’t phased, though, and turned around mid-flight to try and coax him into flight with me. He refused.

I turned back and flew up into the sky enjoying my freedom. I don’t recall much here of how I got to the next place I found myself but I know I flew along as I spoke with a male guide. The topic was about change I think and I remember hearing the word “Chiron”. I flew over a city with tall skyscrapers and typical city streets. To my right was a vast, dark body of water like a lake. The water seemed nearly black it was so dark and it was quite still. There was a broad city bridge to the left of it, like a parkway and I had the sense that someone waited for me there, perhaps the male guide I was talking to. So I stayed away from the bridge and water, observing as I hovered next to a tall apartment building.

As I stood there talking to this guide I seemed suddenly massive and the building like a model or toy in comparison. I looked into the tiny, lit window, saw no movement and then took off the roof. It was as if I was a giant curiously looking for the tiny creatures that lives in the world below.  I looked inside for people, saw none, and tossed the roof. Then I took another layer off. This time I saw a tiny person in a perfectly tiny kitchen. The person was unclothed and was smaller than a paperclip. I took the tiny body, which didn’t move or protest, and flung it over my shoulder in the direction of the water.

Suddenly disinterested, I shrank back down and flew into the city streets. I saw a small store, the name written on the sign stood out to me. It sounded very much like Chiron. I flew inside singing a song about change. People were gathered together inside. It was a bar I think but the lights were bright and the people were milling about seeming to be doing nothing in particular. I floated around the room looking each person in the face as I sang. The people reacted as if they did not know me. Most smiled or seemed curious as to who I was and why I was there. No one spoke, though, and I soon became bored. I had hoped to find someone there I felt a spiritual connection with.

False Awakening

Eventually the energy shifted and I was back in bed. At the time I thought I was awake but I was still OOB. I was thinking, “I need to write this down before I forget.” I remember noting the message of “Chiron” and there was another message about a type of healing modality but I can’t remember the word now. I got out of bed and saw an outline of light indicating a door to my right. I remember thinking it was the door to the bathroom showing through the bedroom closet. I thought, “Someone must have left the light on in the bathroom. I need to turn it off.”

As I headed toward the bedroom door, my husband said something to me. I think he said, “Don’t be gone too long.” I paused at the door. I sensed something was not right.  I headed into the living area and again it looked like my Mom’s house only the bathroom I was seeking was not there. This confused me. I felt like I needed to turn off the light. Where was I? What was I doing? I couldn’t remember my initial intent to type out my OBE before I forgot it.

OBE 2

My momentary confusion shifted me back to my body briefly. I knew I could exit despite the vibrations being almost nonexistent. My energy was so balanced that it was very difficult to discern what reality I found myself in. Ultimately I didn’t think but shifted to pure feeling/intuition, following that part of me that speaks without words.

Again I found myself very quickly moving from the bedroom to the living area. This time I didn’t pause at the front door but just moved through it into the front yard. Again it was transparent and offered no resistance as I passed through.

Outside I immediately took flight again. This time there was no dog. It was quite green and peaceful. In the distance, under a large oak tree, I saw two men sitting side by side on a wooden swing. Excited to see other people in what was very obviously my own personal universe, I floated over to them. I got there instantly and floated in front of them. I said, “Hi! Who are you?” The two men were identical. Twins. Both had dark hair and eyes, wore glasses and had beards. They appeared to be young and for a moment a flash of memory came to me of two twin boys. I knew these men were those boys and I recognized them. I knew them!

The two men looked at each other as if in silent communication. The man on the right (my left) got up from the swing and then seemed to vanish. I sensed that he needed to go; that his twin was meant to talk with me. I asked the remaining man, “Where did he go?” The man pointed to the thick trees and bushes behind me and said, “Just over there.” Oddly I seemed to understand completely, as if that location was where he belonged.

The man and I spoke for a little while after that. His face is still vivid to me but I have no idea who he was except maybe an aspect of myself there to provide guidance. The specifics of the conversations, as usual, are lost to me now. I seemed to immediately know he was there to provide guidance and based upon the feelings that arise from my memory of our encounter, I explained that I was unhappy and struggling with feeling unmotivated. Life feels to have no purpose anymore. My desire and motivation is low. I don’t understand why so little has changed in my world when so much has changed within. I wonder, what is the point of all my spiritual transformation if nothing in my physical world ever changes?

All of this was explained in an instant. I feel that it was communicated but there were no words, only a questioning look by me.

What I remember of his response was once sentence. He said, “You have to BE different.” In hearing this I knew that transformation within is just the first step. The next step is to take that inner transformation and transmute it into the physical.

My memory here is limited. The last thing I remember is receiving the message and seeing my guide’s face. My energy shifted and I once again went back to being in bed and struggling to differentiate between dream and reality.

It took me a bit but I managed to finally shifted fully back into my physical body. A song was going through my head. I mainly recall hearing, “So I stay…..”

 

 

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Dreams: Marshmallow Trees and Fortress Portal

The insomnia has passed. Yay! For a couple of days I had really deep, almost dreamless sleep, but now I think I have made up my lost hours. So, my dreams have returned in vivid detail.

Dream: Water Slide

I was at the top of a slide (going with the flow) looking down. A man was with me. I eagerly jumped down the slide and ended up going so fast that I jumped up over the side and then went up a section backwards. I was not phased by this and went to try again. The man mentioned that the more I practiced the better I would get. My second time around I went down without jumping over the side. I recall the water hitting me in the face making it hard for me to see and going up my nose. When I got to the bottom I went to yet another slide. This one was one of two up high on a wooden platform. I ran up the stairs to the top and looked down. It was a straight drop.

Dream: Marshmallow Trees

The dream seemed then to shift to another scene. This one was magical. It was very vivid and the colors bright like from out of a painting. We were on the water heading toward a place that reminded me of Hawaii. The water shimmered in the moonlight looking purple and blue.

On the island I was with other tourists looking around at everything. I recall my phone being my focus. I wanted to take pictures, specifically of the unique trees that were all over the island. The trees had fruit that looked like giant marshmallows. I picked one and ate it (enjoying the sweetness of life). Sure enough it tasted like marshmallow! I looked around for someone to take a picture of me beneath one of the trees. I asked a woman and she took some shots of me standing beneath the marshmallow laden branches.

A man who looked like a Hawaiian native was staring at me with disapproval in his eyes. I remember asking him about the trees, pointing to a marshmallow fruit that had some green spots on it. He said, “That’s mold (transformation).” I remember thinking that, like all fruit, this fruit must eventually rot and go bad. Nothing lasts forever.

Dream: Fortress Portal

Then I was walking down a white concrete road. As I walked a large, black Lab (on the right path) joined me. He was friendly and I petted him and continued to walk. I came to a very large building that, from the outside, looked like a solid, white concrete wall that went up for several stories. I couldn’t even see the roof. In front of me was the entrance, though, and through the double doors I could see lights and lots of vivid colors.

A woman welcomed me inside along with some others. She was in the kitchen preparing something to eat and behind her was a large, open room that was scattered with various furnishings – tables, lamps, and pianos (need to find my voice). It looked like it was being rearranged. I remember recognizing the space. I had seen it previously with many round, dining tables. It had been an elegant meeting hall of some kind. I said to her, “Weren’t you on a TV show…” She said, “No, I don’t believe so.” A person with me told me not to mention it as the woman was very touchy about the subject.

I observed everyone for a while, watching families seem to tour this very large building which I determined was much more than a mansion. It was a fortress (protection, healing). There were magnificent floor to ceiling, stone archways that led outside to a beautiful garden (growth, stability, potential).

I decided to venture outside into the garden. I remember building up my courage to do so and making certain to wear sunglasses (protection). I noticed as I walked outside there was rubble between the building and the gardens, as if some destruction had occurred. I carefully stepped over jagged, broken slabs of concrete and onto a path into the garden.

Once in the garden I seemed to be observing the others there. At a high point, like a hill, there would appear through a large, golden archway, people seemingly out of the blue. They were coming to visit someone standing on the hill. It was explained to me that these people were both from this person’s past and future. Something about witnessing this caused emotion to build until I was sobbing. The emotion was not grief. Instead it was a sense of relief, as if what I was seeing was proof of the Divine nature of things. It is hard to put into words. As I think of it now, I think I was seeing someone review/view a lifetime or maybe what it might be like for a person after they cross over to the Other Side.

When I woke I knew what I had seen was some kind of portal.

Considerations

All of the dreams were very vividly colored. In fact, that is what I recall the most about them. The colors were so vibrant and memorable. The island dream colors were like something out of a painting or a fairy tale; unrealistic and exaggerated almost. The marshmallows tasted sweet and just like I remember they should taste. The marshmallow trees seemed so real, as if somewhere they actually existed. Can you imagine? Marshmallow fruit? Yum!

Despite all the great dreams I woke up in a depressed mood. I’m not sure why. I mainly just wanted to stay asleep. Sometimes I wish to sleep forever, and this morning was one of those times. My dream activity is just so much more fulfilling than my physical life.

 

 

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Hello Insomnia, My Old Friend

For the past week I’ve been struggling to get to sleep at night. I’ll go two or three days with four or so hours of sleep and then, exhausted, sleep a full 8 hours or more. Then it starts all over again. Last night I was not able to fall asleep until past midnight despite going to bed around 10pm.

I’ve not been able to specifically pinpoint the reason for the insomnia yet. My mind isn’t overly active and, despite initial upset the first few times I experienced the insomnia, I am pretty relaxed and unconcerned about the lack of sleep. But even my body doesn’t feel tired. I am just AWAKE.

My best guess is that the insomnia is linked to the man I mentioned in a previous post, the one I connected with last August who just recently reconnected with me. We have been communicating daily since around April 7th. We are very tuned into each others energy and as a result I think my sleep cycle has been impacted by his. He tends to stay up late into the night working.

Last night, finding myself wide awake yet again, I decided to use the time to meditate. At first this proved difficult so I began to work with my energy. I began moving it from crown to feet and then cycling it back through over and over. Eventually I changed direction, moving my energy from feet to crown and back again. Throughout I focused on my third-eye and touched my tongue to the roof of my mouth as I breathed deeply, inhaling as the energy moved through my body and exhaling as it reached the top/bottom.

Hypnagogia and Short OBEs

With all the meditating and energy work, it is no surprise that the next thing I recall is an odd dream where I was walking along a creek looking at a creature I can’t recall. Something about the dream spiked my lucidity and the scene was replaced by very vivid and colorful hypnagogia (3D, movie-like moving patterns and shapes behind closed eyes). This hypnagogia reminded me of the Flower of Life except the circles that composed it rarely overlapped. The circles were various colors, all pastels and identical to the chakra colors. Each colored circle was spaced equidistant from the others, separated by numerous circles with no color. The entire image moved and breathed behind my closed eyes, seeming to flow along with my energy field which was vibrating quite noticeably.

There was a strong sense that this hypnagogia was different than other times I’ve experienced it. It seemed I was being given the opportunity to heal myself somehow. Yet, I did not recognized this straight away. Instead, I shifted OOB. It was seamless, as if I breathed myself out of my body.

I found myself in an unfamiliar house. A man was with me. I remember seeing him in front of me walking but all I recall of his form was that he was pale white, like ethereal; ghost-like. He was very obviously someone I knew because I felt connected to him, like he was friend or family.

The house we were in was as odd as he was. It seemed composed of walls but the walls were without substance. Yet they were dark and seemed solid. It was like we were inside a hologram of some sort. I could see through the walls if I chose and when I did they appeared to waver and shimmer.

I recall holding the man’s hand and then stopping and turning back. Memory of the hypnagogia came to mind and I knew that I needed to get back to that state. That I needed to take advantage of the opportunity to heal myself.

I let go of the man’s hand and shifted back into my body. I remember thinking about my heart charka as I did this, as if I knew healing was needed there.

As I returned, I was enveloped by the hypnagogia. It’s pulsating, breathing, warm energy/vibration wrapped around me. It was as if I became the hypnagogia and through it I began to be shown areas of my body that needed my attention. I recall talking to someone – a teacher I suppose. He asked me to listen to the energy, to observe and let it show me what I needed to see. The observation here was without sight. It was a feeling sense more than anything. I felt the vibrations at first all over. They seemed consistent but upon further inspection I noticed a distinct difference between the left and right sides of my body. The left side was stronger with “hot” spots. The most noticeable hot spots were just above my left hip and around the left side of my chest/heart area.

I remember hearing the voice asking me to look at the “petals” but I do not recall what happened next. There is a flash of memory of a flower, like a lotus, but that is all.

Dream – Tapping Into The Collective 

I woke briefly after that, returned to my meditation and finally drifted off to sleep.

There were many dreams from the night but one in particular woke me. It is hard to recall the specifics now because I was so tired and sleeping quite deeply. What I do recall is observing a scene. In the middle of a floor in a dark room were many figures made of clay. Each one about a foot or less in height. These figures were of people. A faceless person was standing over the figures. The person began to slowly and deliberately step on a figure until it was crushed. Then the person would go on to the next. And the next. And the next. As the person continued to step on the figures I heard someone ask, “How long will this be allowed to continue? Won’t you do something about it?” I then heard this woman call out, “Stop! Will no one stop it!”

There was with this voice an anguish and as I tuned into the emotion a full picture came to mind. I knew each figurine represented a person who was born with a physical or mental defect of some sort. Then each of the clay figures became a person with a story all their own. And all at once I knew their stories. All of them.

Suddenly I was the one crying out for someone to help them. My heart felt to be ripped out of my chest. As my dream self fell into a heap on the floor, I fell into my body as if pulled down by a heavy weight. Then that weight poured out of me in waves of despair.

As I woke and wiped away the tears, I felt a bit stunned. The emotion quickly faded but the memory of it was strong. Here I was experiencing something I had before. It seemed like I somehow tuned into a group of individuals and their Story. Just like in the past I had tuned into other groups – Native Americans and the Autistic – I must have tapped into the collective somehow, taking on the experiences of all those born less than perfect into this harsh world.

Then I remembered that prior to all his I had been shown the area of my heart as a place that needed attention. And I had gone to sleep focused on that area….

I could not sleep after that so I lingered in the in-between for at least an hour. I could feel energy in my body, moving along the left side primarily. My left kidney developed a sharp pain that briefly alarmed me, but it passed very quickly and I could feel the energy move up toward my heart. There is sat, pooling on the left side but there was no discomfort.

As I type this post there is a strong, almost hot energy encircling my throat. The healing continues…

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Dream: Topaz Engagement Ring

I have been sick with a cold since Sunday. It began as a sore throat that lasted almost two days and is now in the congestion phase. My nose can’t decide if it wants to be running, stopped up or clear. As a result of my sickness, sleep has not been very restful but somehow I continue to have very vivid dreams.

The Kundalini is making itself known again. When the K rose it felt very restricted and tight as it moved through each chakra. Unfortunately, it didn’t rise all the way to the crown but got stuck right at my rib cage, just below my heart. The feeling of it was cold, like someone placed an ice pack where the bottom of my bra would be. Not a typical K sensation for me.

Not long after falling to sleep I was awakened to yet another strange experience where I saw next to me individuals who seemed to be interacting with my energy and body. This time I saw very clearly four – two couples. One couple was on my left and the other on my right. The ones on my left were the most vivid. He had dark hair and was smiling from ear to ear. The woman I can’t recall very well now. Somehow they were familiar and I was not worried by whatever it was they were doing. They seemed to be hanging out and doing something with my energy body but I was most definitely an observer of it all. Yet there was still the very strange sensation of someone(s) taking over, as if shifting into and out of me. Hard to describe.

Dream: Topaz Engagement Ring

My cousin was getting married. I was to attend along with other members of my family. While we were waiting, I ordered fried chicken (overcoming fear and anxiety) for everyone. I knew most of my family liked it, so I wanted to make them happy. I didn’t eat any.

Then we were at the rehearsal. I was told that at a certain part of the ceremony I would be asked to come up and say a prayer (personal power). My mom would go up before me to say a prayer, too. I did not want to say a prayer. It made me feel uncomfortable. I asked my cousin if she could maybe take me out of the ceremony. She was disappointed and urged me to stay in it. It felt like she wanted me there in some way, especially since she had not chosen me to be a bride’s maid.

The day of the actual ceremony, I sat in the church (seeking spiritual guidance) pew listening to the minister talk about sacred union. We were all given a small cup of coffee (awareness) as part of the ceremony.  My mind was on my cousin and how she ended up marrying the groom. She had discovered she was pregnant (potential, growth) in June and so the wedding was planned for July. I remember thinking she was similar to me.

As the ceremony progressed the moment when I was to say the prayer came and went. The minister instead did a moment of silence, saving me from having to go up to the front. I was relieved because I had spent a good amount of time unsuccessfully trying to figure out what to say in the prayer.

After the wedding was over, I went into a side room and ran into my cousin’s son. He was butt naked (vulnerability, openness) and didn’t care. I remember telling him, “Sometimes I like to walk around naked, too.”

I walked down the hall and ran into someone I knew. We walked into a kitchen (spiritual nourishment) together but it was as if we were walking through a maze. My memory here is sketchy at best. I mostly recall seeing the metallic silver (spirituality) of the walls of the kitchen.

Then I was outside in a parking lot (period of delay) standing by a parked pick-up truck (hard work). Inside the truck sat the man I had been with in the kitchen. His appearance is hard to recall but he was plain looking with dark hair. I also knew he was the ex of someone from my family, like my sister.

We spoke briefly about how his relationship had ended. Then he turned to me holding something in his hand. It was a small, silver ring set with a single, large blue stone – topaz (fortune, good companionship). He said, “Will you marry me?” and handed me the ring. This caught me off guard but I was unable to respond because he got up and quickly walked – almost ran – away and around the truck. I followed him and found him back sitting in the truck. I smiled, climbed onto his lap and said, “Yes.”

From there we began to kiss passionately and the K energy began to manifest mostly in the lower chakras which ultimately woke me up.

 

 

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Dreams: Water Park and Archaeological Dig 

The energy lately has been interesting. I see posts and blogs all over the internet mentioning the energy shifting and the alignments in astrology being prime for making important decisions regarding “who we are”. Interestingly, I feel as if I experienced these shifts beforehand; anticipated them and so already did the work necessary to ride them out without issue. So when I read everyone talking about this or that right now – the energy is “moving” or “shifting”, they are tired, they are struggling with the intensity of the energy in various physical and emotional ways, I think, “Hmmm”.

Over a year ago I would have been there right along with them, reporting on the energy shifts, discussing my symptoms and how I’m managing, etc. Now I just don’t feel on the same wavelength. It is like I jumped up a notch to a different frequency. I’m not bragging or claiming I am more advanced or anything, just that perhaps at some point we move away from the majority and into our own “zone”. And really it does feel like soul families are doing this in groups, shifting into their own family “frequencies”. Sadly, some of my “family” members have not shifted with me. Many, actually. But then we are all on our own paths and just because we are not moving along together on the same wavelength now, doesn’t mean we won’t be later on.

It reminds me a dream/OBE experience I had not long ago where I was traveling along on the highway and I saw a soul family member off the road driving an ATV and doing his own thing. I knew his destination was the same as mine but he was taking the “long way”, paving his own path through the mountains, rocks and mud.

This current shift has me feeling quite good, clear and optimistic. I continue to experience healing Kundalini. Last night and this morning it was quite intense in my second chakra but I also felt it in my root, throat, third-eye and crown. The root energy was quite pleasurable. The rest of the energy just felt similar to a really strong Reiki treatment.

Dreams: Water Park and Archaeological Dig 

My dreams were strange and I can’t recall much of them now. There was one very vivid memory of being in a water park where the water had been turned off. I heard the water suddenly released into the park and I was trying to get to the bottom of the slide before it swept me away. I ended up walking along the side and avoiding the turbulent water which was quite muddy. There were moments I waded through standing water that was about knee high as I made my way to the bottom.

In another dream I was with a group observing this tower that looked like a circular space craft atop a pillar (like a space needle). A discussion was taking place about how the access had been blocked to the tower. A team would be sent on a kind of archaeological “dig” to determine what happened so long ago.

I remember visiting the inside of this space needle via my consciousness. It had been a research facility and all the old equipment sat unused and covered in dust. Someone told me that the scientists had discovered a rare species and were in the process of doing tests. The creature looked like a large segmented insect similar to a centipede or millipede. I watched the past play out in front of me. Two scientists, one male and the other female, were interacting with the creature. The woman was on the bottom and the man over the top seemingly floating. The creature crawled over the woman and connected to her at her throat. From there it grew this large pouch and laid it’s eggs there. The pouch was large and brown and grew in size over time.

While I observed this, my lower chakras were igniting with energy. My root became the most intense but I also felt pressure building in my second chakra.

Ultimately, the energy woke me and continued for a while after. The song, Black by Pearl Jam was in my mind. The part, “Tied [tattooed] to all I see, all that I am, tied [tattooed] to everything…” going over and over.

Considerations

The above song has come to me before but not with the words changed like that. It says to me that whatever I was “digging” up in that dream is tied to everything. It is directly influencing this life, my personality, my perspective.

The water park is a common dream of mine. I think it has to do with emotions and how I “ride them out”. In this case I try to outrun them and then end up walking beside them and observing them. I suppose this is not a bad thing. It is better to observe them than to be carried away by them.

The archaeological dig dream was likely about me digging into my second chakra issues and other blockages that are preventing progress. I have been doing self-healing, looking specifically at the second chakra and trying to untangle the energy there. I asked for more insight and I think the dream was showing me the depth of the blockage and what it is linked to. The space needle could be indicative of time and space, like an incident that is very old and not of this time and space. The centipede/millipede is about hidden dangers in digging up the past. The fact that it creates an egg sac on the throat of the woman is kind of creepy especially since I woke up with a sore throat. The danger is “multiplying” and creating issues at the throat chakra somehow.