Category Archives: Dreams

by

Dream Message and OBE: I Need Somebody

Today I leave for Hawaii. It also happens to be my co-worker’s funeral. Unfortunately, our flight plans overlap the funeral so we won’t be able to attend.

My husband has been home since Wednesday. As a result I have experienced much relief of stress. It is wonderful!

There has been some odd happenings, though. For example, I heard “On the Road Again” five times in one evening. Three times on the way to visit my mom (a 40 minute drive) and two times on the drive home. What is even more odd is that when we arrived the song just began to play and when we turned on the car to leave – three hours later – the song was just ending! How crazy is that?

Two nights ago I had a dream in which a woman was showing me how to “see”. It was energetic mostly and I woke up wondering about it. The energy shifted up into my third-eye and then I experienced a force behind my eyes that I have felt before. It was as if my eyes were someone else’s.

Then last night I felt a female presence put her hand on my left shoulder. I felt others in Spirit with her and there was a message, “We will help you.”

Dream: Message About Panic

The beginning is fuzzy but I remember being in a kitchen, opening a fridge and pulling out a large melon. I asked my MIL,”Do you want some cantaloupe?” and she said, “What kind?” I told her it was a different kind and showed her. It looked more like a gourde than a cantaloupe and when I cut it open it was full of seeds. I placed it in front of a cat that was sitting at the table like a child. The cat was very sad and I wanted to help so I offered it some of the cut open fruit. I said to it, “Is it too hot? Here, have some of the meat.” I placed some of the meat on the plate. It looked like ground beef. The cat shifted into what looked like a little boy.

I was then heading to a household with the cat/boy. Inside I encountered a husband and wife. The husband was very angry and told me I was not wanted there. It felt like we had a history. There was a small boy on the floor playing with Legos. He looked sad and told me that things weren’t the same with his friend gone. He said he use to play all day with his friend. I remember explaining to his parents the situation and tried to describe the boy’s sadness. I said, “What if someone – what if you were to get a divorce after being married 20 years. How would it make you feel?” The man got very angry at me, saying, “How dare you….!” I then switched it and said, “Okay, what if I got a divorce. How do you think it would make me feel?” He was still very angry, face red and seemed like he might hurt me physically. Yet I still approached him and put my hand on his heart. I asked again, “How do you feel?”

He didn’t answer but I saw words in his heart. They were all kinds of emotion in statements – I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel loved… and on and on. He seemed not to know how to answer. I remember telling him, “Panic is how grace and love enter the body. Look there.”

After hearing myself say this, I turned to the wife who was standing behind me. I asked her, “How do you feel?” She opened her arms and I placed my head on her heart (she was very tall). She said to me, “My life is a mess.” By the time she said this I was already sobbing, tears pouring down my cheeks and my nose stopping up. The woman just stood there and let me cry.

The emotion and what had just transpired brought me to full lucidity and I woke up.

When I woke I could not forgot what I had told the man and knew it was me giving myself a message. “Panic is how grace and love enter the body. Look there.” Wow. I got up and wrote it down intent on not forgetting it.

OBE: I Need Somebody

It took me a while to go back to sleep and I had the thought that I might project, but did not set an intention to.

The last thing I remember thinking about was preparing for my trip to Hawaii today and charging my new wireless earbuds for the long flight.

The next thing I know I am aware of being in my room talking to someone but I can’t recall the conversation. The room was dark and there was music playing – a song I recognized. It was very loud, complete with all the music and vocals. The lyrics were, “All I need is a miracle. All I need is you…” When I heard it I said aloud, “All I need is me.” I felt proud of myself for saying/knowing this. I saw myself in my mind as being Whole in Self. It appeared as a shadow part of me merging with a more solid me.

I was then certain I could shift OOB. The energy didn’t feel quite right but I did not hesitate and with ease I found myself hovering beside my bed facing the large window beside it.

My energy was shifty and I knew I needed to move away from my body but I was so pleased with myself that I lingered a while and looked around. The room was dark but light was coming in through the window. The window was cracked open at the bottom and the top was covered in ivy and small flowers that looked to be woven into it. I remember thinking I should say, “Clarity now!” to improve my energy but I thought, “I don’t need that” and so never said it.

Then a very large dragonfly flew in front of me. It turned and looked directly at me. It’s eyes were glassy and reflective, its body metallic silver. It was HUGE, like the size of a small house cat! In awe I smiled in delight and thanked it for visiting me. It hovered in front of me for a while inviting me to follow it out the window. I remember staring at it a while, taking in my “gift” and then accepting its invitation. It flew out the tiny crack in the window and I followed, seeming to shrink in size as I flew through.

The first thing I noticed is that outside my window was a large blanket laying on top of the branches of a tree that was just below. In reality there is no tree. Then I saw another blanket further down. I remember saying, “Looks like my kids tried to escape by climbing out the window.” I paused and said with pride, “But I’m flying out!”

Then I encountered an ivy wall that seemed impenetrable. It had white flowers in it, just like the ivy in the bedroom. I remember thinking, “I could go through” but then deciding to go over it. I flew up and over and the wall vanished.

The street outside my house was lit up and the neighbor’s house had two helicopters hovering over the driveway and parked car. There were flashing red lights on the helicopters indicating police or emergency vehicles.

I hovered there a while thinking of what to do next. I had not planned on going OOB and really had no clue what I wanted to do. I figured I would explore and so headed toward the road. I flew down as if to land on my feet but stopped short and hovered there.

When I looked at my neighbor’s house again the helicopters resembled the dragonfly in size and I seemed to have shifted size as well, growing back to my full height. I realized I had shrunk to go through the window and so my perception shifted to that of my size and the helicopters looked large as life. Now, they seemed like mere toys!

Again I did not know what to do with myself and hesitated before lifting off to explore. Sadly, I shifted slowly back into my body.

I lingered for a while in the in-between and mulled over my experience. The song I heard originally shifted to, “I need somebody, somebody like you.” I remembered the previous song and so the lyrics kept going through my head in unison – “I need somebody…all I need is a miracle, all I need is you….”

Then I was standing next to my physical counterpart. The number 56 came to mind right before I saw him and I realized I was talking to his future self. We hugged and I asked him, “How are you doing?” He said, “Not good. I’m so lonely.” I told him, “You know I’m here. All you have to do is ask.” He nodded.

He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt with the hood up. I took down the hood and said, “You don’t need to hide from me.” I fully recognized the sweatshirt as him feeling he needed to protect himself and shield his vulnerability.

After this I had a very life-like experience of opening my front door after hearing knocking. On the other side was a large, white cat purring and rubbing up against the house. This sight of this woke me up fully and I could not go back to sleep.

Considerations

The first dream seems to be about my masculine and feminine sides represented by the cat (feminine) and boy as well as the husband and wife. The message is still prominent in my memory and seems to be an answer to my questions about the panic episodes I’ve been having. My best guess to it’s meaning is that the panic is a result of not accepting God’s (Source) grace and love into my heart. The wife’s reply about her life being a mess seemed to be my own consideration about my life coming through.

The OBE was a nice gift, especially after the tears from the dream before it. The dragonfly symbol/message was especially memorable. The dragonfly seems to go along with the music message – It’s where the water flows. It’s where the wind blows.

The OBE also seems to bring a message about perspective. We tend to blow things out of proportion when in reality they are not very big at all.

All in all I feel positive about both experiences. Plus, it is nice to have these after such a long break. Right now I have a similar feeling as to when I went to Tennessee in 2016. Not sure why, but I feel a heart expansion is taking place and hopefully it will be less traumatic than last time!

by

Dream: Failed Test, Re-Test Required

Feeling much better this morning. My husband will be home this week, offering me a welcome reprieve from single-parenting. I believe much of my panic and anxiety stems from the added pressure/stress of having to do everything on my own while he is gone. Much of the time when panic arises I am thinking, “I am all alone….” and worrying about my children and who would take care of them if I were to be injured or killed. That’s only one concern, of course, but to rid myself of it would be nice.

My dreams seem to indicate my resistance is lessening as well.

Dream: Failed Test, Re-Test Required

The dream began in a high school cafeteria (spiritual nourishment). I was sitting alongside my classmates as someone passed back our practice exams (major life lesson). The person next to me got theirs. I was looking at theirs as I received mine. There were red marks all over it, which I knew wasn’t a good sign.

When I looked down at my exam I saw an entire sheet was filled out in red ink. My score was written at the top:

70%
-9.5pts for failure to fill out info sheet
Final grade: 62%

The sheet filled out with red was the info sheet (important information being relayed) filled in for me. I turned to the people around me and told them how unfair I thought it was. I slowly became more and more angry. It was completely ridiculous to me that I would pass only to fail for not filling out an info sheet I had never received. I told the people around me I was not going to re-take the test, that it was unfair and was just a practice test anyway.

Eventually I got up and talked to the lady “proctor”. She reminded me of someone who worked at my high school. I showed her my exam and asked her to explain. She told me that I should have filled out the info sheet, that everyone got one and the instructions were clear. She pointed to the instructions and my signature below saying I had read them. I yelled, “Yes, I see! I have signed this for every exam without reading it and had no issues. Why would I read it this time?”

She told me I would just have to re-take (re-do lesson) it. I told her I would not and began to accuse her of purposefully targeting me because I was smart. I showed her my last two test scores, both 90%. She shook her head and looked down as she repeated that I would have to re-test. Furious. I called her a f*** bi**ch well aware of everyone staring at me, and turned and walked away.

My anger woke me up. I was shocked at how angry I had gotten in the dream. After a few minutes I fell asleep and returned to the dream.

I was sitting next to a young man who I called Jose. He was waiting to get his test results and looked pensive. I told him my story, how unfair it was and to be ready for similar news.

Then a female classmate came and sat down. I knew the woman I had cussed out was her mother and I apologized to her for my behavior and told her my story, too. She seemed not bothered and we caught up for a bit.

Meanwhile, Jose got his test results – 73%. I congratulated him and he seemed relieved. He left and the woman and I left together.

We walked out to the parking lot (delay) talking and then she was ahead of me catching up with a long time friend and getting into a car (life path). I realized she forgot about me and I walked alone thinking of the past and how nice it was to have girl friends, even if superficial. There was a fence (barrier to progress) across the path and I went around it but soon realized I had parked in the other direction. I opted to walk the long way around to get to my car.

There is memory of walking through my old high school only it had been renovated. A woman and I talked about how they paid a $40k bonus for their new coach. I called it a waste of money. They had added a gym space in the front that could be washed with a hose after gym class. I walked through a class commenting on how I should have been a gym teacher because it was much more fun.

Then I am with my son walking along neighborhood streets and houses. A group was gathered around the new principal who was telling them something and mentioned directions being included on flyers. He had no example and I volunteered mine, showing him a part of a ripped sheet (I had ripped it in anger earlier). I remember thinking critical thoughts about him. At the end I thought he was “not so bad”.

We continued to walk and came upon a driveway (the body, or homebase). We had to maneuver around some fish tanks on the floor and my son knocked one over, spilling fish. We caught them and returned them to their tanks. The owner came out and helped us at the end. I remember commenting on one small fish and he told me they were put into tanks with other types of fish to encourage their bright colors.

Interpretation 

My sense about the dream is that it reflects a discussion about my present upsets. I am told that I failed an exam and have to re-test. It feels unfair because it is caused by missing information and my lack of attention to detail. There is also a lack of concern about my barely passing grade in the dream. I usually want to get at least an A. To be satisfied with a 70 is unusual. I feel unfairly targeted as well, as if someone is purposefully making me re-test. I realized now that it is me doing this because I expect much more from myself (an A instead of a C).

When I return to the dream I am apologetic and supportive of a classmate. I have no jealousy when he passes his exam. There is a literal walk down memory lane and I realize I miss having female friends and companionship. I also realize many of my past friends have long forgotten about me. I think I am missing aspects of myself and my past, longing for companionship even if it is not deep and meaningful.

The parking lot is delay and I walk the long way around to get to my car. The gym represents me facing myself and reviewing past actions. The fish are insights from my subconscious mind. The one fish in particular is small and brightly colored and the man indicates variety made him that way. I believe this is a message that a variety of life experience lends toward a more “colorful” result (more lessons and learning).

I seem to be slowly recovering from my anger throughout the dream until I feel lighter and more sane overall. Thus, when I woke I felt very different than I did after the first angry section of the dream.

Considerations

Since waking I have been feeling more open to other options and seeing blessings in my life where once I only saw problems and difficulty. There are resources I have at my disposal that I can use to further my progress.

The phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” comes to mind here.

So, if I have to remain in my current situation, then I might as well make the most of it. We have money enough to take more trips and my job offers me the freedom to work from home or anywhere actually. One of the things I should do is get more “therapy”; sessions like I have done in the past. These propelled me further than anything and could potentially help me with many of my present upsets and areas I am struggling to overcome on my own. Investing in myself in this way would be beneficial overall and keep me busy, freeing me from routine and boredom.

I wish my dreams told me specifically what areas I “failed” but sadly the only part I remember is that the subject was math. Math is symbolic of logic and this can be connected to the masculine energy, solving problems, taking action, making decisions, analyzing outcomes, being less emotional and more decisive overall. My failure was in accepting less from myself, so cutting corners to barely get by, while also ignoring directions. How furious were you when your teacher handed back a paper indicating you failed just because you forgot to put your name on it? Ha! M guides are saying very clearly, “Pay attention. Listen. Follow directions.”

Interestingly, a little after I woke, part of a song was going through my head. Just this part – “It’s where the water flows. It’s where the wind blows.” How very odd.

 

 

by

Dream: Paper Sheets

In the early morning hours of the 28th of February, my coworker with lung cancer that metastasized to her brain, passed away peacefully in her sleep. She was 70 years old.

I knew that she had passed when I woke that morning. No one needed to tell me. I had struggled to fall asleep as it was and didn’t finally sleep until around midnight. My boss had talked with me briefly on the the phone earlier that evening and told me she had been asleep for over 24 hours and the hospice nurse had informed her that it would be any time. So my boss went to be by her side and sent the nurse home. She sat with her until she passed and has since been making all the arrangements.

Her funeral is the morning of March 8th, the same day my husband and I leave for Hawaii. It will be difficult to catch our flight but we plan on attending, staying a short bit, and then catching our flight to San Fran and on to Honolulu.

Though I am sad to lose my friend and coworker, I am more jealous that she gets to move on and be free of the burden of life. I always feel that way when someone passes away. And I really don’t want to go to the funeral. Funerals are for the living, not the dead, and I feel no reason to be there in person nor do I want to view a vacant body in a casket.

Calm

The night before last I felt a lightening of the energy, like a small amount of weight lifted from me. With it I remember saying to myself, “Something good is coming.” Nothing yet has occurred but the entire day I felt calm and relaxed.

The commute to work was uneventful and easy – like it is suppose to be. No anxiety or panic. In fact, I had an instance where it was quite surreal. A song came on I had never heard before – Have You Ever by Brandy.

The lyrics made me think of my physical counterpart briefly and in a good way. I did not react with tears or grief but instead felt quite pleasant. And as the chorus was playing I pulled up behind a large semi-truck and noticed the license plate was from Tennessee. Laughing to myself, I recognized the synchronicity of it. Not long after, other songs played in succession, that seemed altogether to be a message and by the time I arrived at work I felt relief and even joy. I remember thinking that maybe, just maybe, I had made it through the panic and despair to the other side.

Unfortunately, my stomach started bothering me toward the end of the day and I left early (again) and went home. The rest of the evening went smoothly but I was bored and passed the time watching videos on FB and in a hurry to get to sleep. I have gone through periods in my life like this where I can’t wait to get to bed each night and wish the days would just hurry up and pass. Sleep is my vacation and I very much wish I could sleep away my life at times.

Dream: Paper Sheets

I met up with my best friend who appeared to be the one from high school but at times another from later in my life. She had recently moved into her own apartment and was feeling really down and out so I had come to visit and offer my support.

When I arrived at her apartment I was trying to remember what it looked like and memories from waking reality were going through my mind. Inside, I found my friend and we talked a while. She told me she left her husband and was working a job during the day as a waitress. I remember mentioning half of my time was volunteer work and that I need to ask for money in return. I saw myself as a part-time tutor and briefly it seemed like my best friend was me.

My friend made just enough money to get by. I recognized that she was making her situation out to be worse than it was. She was doing just fine. She was sad and a bit down but I pointed out that if she held on she would get through the hard part. I saw her working and later upgrading to a nicer place and better pay. I saw her smiling and self-confident. She couldn’t see any of this, though, and continued to be sad.

It felt like I would be spending the night. I sat on a bed and my friend came and sat next to me holding something. She said, “I made this for you.” It was a long, green vine that was very long and twisted, with pink flowers and a small bird’s nest attached to the end. She showed me the nest and said, “It’s a nest for you.” I took the gift and looked closely at the nest and thanked my friend.

We then kissed one another and embraced. We kissed for a long time until my friend pulled away. I apologized but she was okay with it. I then asked her if she ever considered us to be more than friends. She said she had but she did not want to explore that possibility then and there. She was overwhelmed with life and the complications of it.

Suddenly, the front door swung inward with a burst of wind. My friend ran up to close it and said it was broken. I noticed it was swollen from water damage and that its hinges were rusted completely off. I pushed with all my might and secured it in the frame but huge gaps were visible and it could fall off any minute. I told my friend she should get management to fix it. She said it was like that when she moved in.

I went back to the bed where I would be sleeping for the night. Scattered across it were various square sheets of paper of various colors. I remember thinking it odd they were there as I curled up to sleep. I thought, “Paper sheets – ‘bed sheets’ of paper”. I kept looking at the door worried it would fall down but it never did.

Interpretation

When I woke up my lower abdomen was tender as if I had been receiving healing in dreamtime. The dream was vivid in my memory and I wondered about it. It is obvious that the “best friend” is a version of me. I can’t help but think she represents a potential path or part of myself that feels uncertainty about the future.

The most vivid dream symbol is the bed and the colorful, thin paper sheets all over the bed. Sheets in general represent the covering of unconscious and/or intimate feelings. Paper indicates a choice is about to be given to me in waking life. Being there are many pieces of different colored paper, it could represent all the various choices available to me. The paper is partially see-through, like tissue paper for a gift. So, perhaps, I am being shown potential parts of a “gift” or selecting what goes along with a gift. It is hard to say. The see-through aspect indicates I am getting a glimpse of the unconscious.

The door could represent access either being blocked or opened. The door is warped, meaning it was exposed to large amounts of water. Water = emotion. This indicates that emotion is hindering access in some way. The hinges are rusted and broken. Hinges represent the link between the spiritual and physical. I mention that the door needs to be repaired and worry the door will fall down. This suggests that I fear what is being kept out by the door. There is something on the other side I do not want to let in. This in itself represents my own blocking of something unwanted, but likely needed for healing.

It could also be that my “door” is broken from too much emotion and is causing me to struggle to maintain the balance between the spiritual and physical. Subconscious issues are seeping through and I am unable to differentiate between past and present emotion.

The next most memorable symbol is the vines with a nest made for me by my friend. A nest is protection, feeling at home, comfort and new opportunities. Vines represent ambitions, thoughts and/or ideas. They can also represent a clingy relationship. Pink represents unconditional love and nurturing.

Based upon this dream symbolism it seems I am being shown the source of the problems I have been having with anxiety, panic and overall “energy sickness”. There is too much emotion. So much that it is affecting my ability to maintain balance and manage the flow of emotion (the door won’t shut all the way). This emotion overload could be related to my heart being just too wide open or it could be the result of my refusal to confront and heal what it coming up. The positive side to this is my openness to loving myself which is evident in my embracing my friend in the dream and asking her to reciprocate.

 

by

Digging In

Reached out to an online friend yesterday for some advice on everything that is happening with me – the strange “this is not my life” feeling, the anxiety and panic, the energy sickness, the high emotion.

We chatted for a long while yesterday and last night. Here is something she advised:

Well…if you don’t know what you want to do, but you want to be whole. I’d try my best to stop looking at anyone at all and focus back on you even though you’re so tired and not happy yet, and you feel like you’re getting somewhere then stay there and go within until spirit guides you elsewhere! It’s all about timing. Let the brain stop running circles on you. Maybe some cranial sacral would assist your thoughts! Clues!

The bottom line spiritually….from my guides and yours pow wow downloads they’re giving me. You’re getting caught in fear and doubt and your nervous system is telling you so and you need help. You’re not asking for help, you’re feeling alone. That’s your doubt of self. You need to learn new skills. Don’t rely on the kundalini it takes you up and out. Do something down here. You’re sort of on that line of fear often and you’re so sick of ‘falling’ or going backwards whatever language you use. But you need to embody. You’re flying all night and don’t want to come in fully. One foot in one foot out. There’s a way for you to change this you just won’t go there yet. It’s a place you delay seeing if you keep looking outside of you. All your tools are within you already and you’re just unfolding. Slowly. As one should. Pay attention to the nervousness. Sit with it. Where’s the fear coming from? From what? Where? Why? You already know. You just need to ask it, the body. Come. Into. The. Body! You’ve got outside in now go inside out.

There was much more but to summarize it was as I had suspected but not fully acknowledge. Perhaps as part of a temporary amnesia that I agreed to in order to fully integrate into the body and perhaps as a part of the remergence/reformation of ego, one that is more inline and in tune with my purpose and heart.

Earlier in this journey, I had similar panic episodes to what I am having now. They passed and were easier to handle but only because I observed them rather than becoming the effect of them. Similar to now, they would start with a sudden realization of my body, where I was, how I felt, etc. It was as if I shot directly into the body, grounded it in, suddenly and fully, which made all the senses almost painfully acute. Now, though, this perception remains for much longer and all the feelings are difficult to ignore. Thus, the panic episodes and feeling a need to run or get out.

It was advised by my friend to focus on the body, communicate with it and let it tell/show me what it needs. This was also what my guidance suggested and what caused me to have teary episodes on my commutes to and from work. I hate crying, though, so I stopped the feeling into my body on my commute and other trips. It just looks like I have more to purge and allow. I made the decision to keep looking, to keep listening, and try and resolve the residual grief and other emotions surfacing. I asked for help doing this prior to bed.

Last night I took a very long Epsom salt bath. Afterward I experienced a sadness that led to tears over the death of my dog, Trooper. Ugh! I cannot believe I am still grieving when he has been dead since 2012! Later I had more tears over my physical counterpart. The depth of the pit of grief I carry seems to have no bottom.

This morning my stomach is not happy. When I woke my back ached near my kidneys. Once awake it shifted to my intestines and I am back to similar symptoms as I experienced previously where my stomach hurts and I just don’t feel well. I will be staying home to work today if I don’t start feeling better soon.

Dreams

I slept very deeply with plenty of dreams. Once I was awakened in tears from a dream about Trooper. In the dream I was talking to an older lady with short hair who was taking care of him for me. I went to visit and saw him behind a fence made of panels of glass. He was very old looking and walking strangely, like he had been injured or was just crippled from old age. He leaped up toward me when he saw me. I was happy to see him but my grief got in the way. The woman and I sang together songs I can’t remember now and it seemed to help. She encouraged me to sing, so I did. She assured me she would take good care of him for me. I left him with her but broke down in tears as I departed. This woke me and I continued to cry.

There was another dream where I was with a group of people. We all seemed young, like 20’s. Myself and some others sat down at consoles and put on headsets to do our work. It was like we were physically plugged into the system somehow. I had just put on my headset when one of the men pointed out that something was wrong. I looked at him and some of the others and noticed their teeth were becoming shaded with gray and black. They all immediately took off their headsets as did I and the shading slowly faded. I remember being told it had to do with high radiation levels and to try again later. My own teeth were shaded and I felt a bit ill (likely physical seeping into my dream).

Then I was traveling on a motorbike along a country road with tall trees on either side. I took a sharp left and my bike suddenly seemed like a large, white work truck. As I turned around I felt a bit off, like I was confused or anxious. A young woman on a bike stopped me and asked me if I could give her a lift home. Her bike looked odd, like a four-wheeled type that was close to the ground. She told me her name and all about her family. I felt something was not right about her but agreed to give her a lift.

When we arrived at where she lived, it was the same place I did. Distrusting her, I took her to the entrance and used my key to open the door. I would not use the code in case she was trying to steal it. Inside, she asked me to help her locate her apartment but gave me a different name. This confirmed she was lying to me so I would not help her and made sure not to take her near my apartment.

Interpretation

When I woke I was really tired and shifted to lay on my back. My heart felt to be beating a thousand miles a minute but when I took my pulse my heartbeat was normal. It was odd. I had a headache and my lower back ached.

The dream about Trooper was likely to help me with the lingering feelings of guilt over his death. I saw him as old and decrepit even though I know that he is whole and happy on the Other Side because I have seen him before. The singing in the dream was likely to help me raise my vibration. The woman seemed to be his caretaker.

The teeth dream was strange. Teeth have to do with one’s feelings of control, or lack of it. When the teeth rot it is an invitation to handle unfinished business. To dig into those things that have been avoided and resolve them.

The last dream seems to be about my own distrust of myself, or an aspect of myself. The woman was young, married, with no kids. I recall telling her that she was lucky. She asked me if I was happy and I shrugged my shoulders. Thoughts of how exhausted parenting was and how I had so little time to myself came to mind. I advised the woman to enjoy her life – her “perfect” life. I told her, “Looks like you have it all.” When she questioned me, I said, “A house, a job and a husband you love.” I distrusted her story, though, as if I did not believe anyone could be happy with those things. In considering the whole dream, it feels like life has left me disillusioned. The “American dream” turned out to be a crock of shit and I no longer believe happiness comes from attaining it.

by

Dream: Haunted History

I’ve been continuing to have the energy sick feeling I wrote about previously. It comes in different forms but I recognize it as the same energy. Back in December and January it made me feel ill inside and out to the point of wanting to up and run out of work, my life, etc. The panic attacks increased after that and continue. Now the feeling is more like a discomfort from within where my life feels strange, like not my own. Yesterday this feeling crept up on me while working from home. I tried to ignore it but couldn’t. I just felt weird! Like I’m not in the right place. I didn’t want to run or leave right then and there but it did upset me. I can’t find a source of it, really, but it makes me want to step back and out, observe and evaluate and then put things right. Yet I don’t know what ‘right’ is!

What is even stranger is that lately when I have this feeling intensely like this, my husband will usually call me not long after. Yesterday that is exactly what happened! While in the midst of feeling the ick he called and told me he was feeling bad and wanted to come home. It makes me wonder if the energy is somehow linked to him but then in the past it seems not to have been specifically him but other around me who were either physically ill (like my coworker with cancer) or just had erratic or negative energy.

I am at a loss as to what the cause of this energy is as much as I am at a loss as to the cause of my anxiety. They are more than likely linked, though. Anxiety and fear stem primarily from the third chakra but also from the root chakra, especially when linked to feelings of insecurity or instability. Based upon recent energetic experiences and dreams I have no doubt that my lower three chakras are clearing. I specifically asked for help with the second and being all the chakras are linked, especially those located above and below a blocked one, I am not surprised by some of my symptoms.

Most recently my dreams suggest a return to past issues that need healing. Again. Sigh. The clearing/healing seems never to end! Last night I had yet another dream that left me a bit bothered upon waking. In fact, I struggled to return to sleep after.

Dream: Haunted History

Most of the dream took place in a large parking lot. I recall meeting up with my physical counterpart there as if on a “date”. The entire time I noticed he was acting strange, like distracted and unfocused. His energy was the most obvious. It was “off” and I could tell he was in a dark place emotionally and spiritually. I remember thinking more than once that I was glad we were not physically around each other because his energy was so unbalanced that it was almost repellent.

I remember walking with him around the parking lot as we talked. He didn’t say much but when he did the energy behind his words indicated that he was not really present, like he was putting up a front. I stopped by a parked car and told him about something that happened when I was a child. The story I told him was that my family went to the beach and my mom had me and my sister go to the car to wait. With keys in hand we went to the car but a man intercepted us and tried to take the keys. I mentioned that we often waited in the car. Since these incidences never happened in this life, I suspect the story was symbolic.

We walked some more and the parking lot filled with people sitting at tables talking and eating. I recall telling him my favorite candy was peanut butter cups. I asked, “Did you know that?” He said he did not. Then, someone called to him about his younger brother Michael needing him. He excused himself and said he had to go. He said, “I will call you. Or, you can call me. You have my number, right?” He flashed his phone screen to me and I saw a number with a 7 in it. I said, “Yeah, yeah I have it.” Then he rushed away.

Alone now, the parking lot seemed more like a restaurant and I felt like a waitress. Someone near me began to reminisce about the past and pointed out a large globe in the restaurant. There was suspicion that it was haunted and I investigated, only I ended up inside a restroom. The door would move on its own and I tested it and saw it move. On my way out of the restroom I saw the globe. It was spinning and had my writing on it indicating locations across the world.

Suddenly, I heard my name called and saw my physical counterpart in the distance waving his arms over his head. I went to him. He was standing next to a very large, red pick-up. It was massive and had an extended cab with the door open. Excited, he showed me three seats and how each had a luggage compartment behind them. He invited me to go with him and I declined. I remember thinking there was no way I was going with him in that thing when his energy felt the way it did.

Interpretation

I woke suddenly then concerned with the low vibration coming off my physical counterpart. I remember thinking, “Wow. He must really be in a dark place right now. How can he be in such denial?” The avoidance in his energy was really obvious and it was sad to me.

A parking lot is delay or waiting. When you park your car (life path) there is no progress or movement. In the dream it felt like a long waiting period, which makes sense. The story I told about waiting could be that I was recalling waiting for him at other times. A peanut butter cup likely indicates lack of understanding or difficulty communicating my thoughts/emotions, specifically love.

When he is called away it suggests the distractions he is having have to do with a “brother”, likely someone he is helping out. Him telling me to call him indicates he does not want to sever communication.

The globe being haunted feels to me like I am haunted by our history together. When my psychical counterpart comes back to show me his red truck and invites me along I decline. A truck is “work” and red is the root chakra, so security, survival, foundations. The seats had space for luggage, which is baggage one carries to include responsibilities and things they cannot let go of. The invitation was not appealing to me. It felt like he was inviting me into his mess. I wanted no part in it.

I don’t know as of yet if my declining indicates avoidance on my part or not.

I fell into the in-between as I attempted to go to sleep. I remember hearing myself talking to someone. The word “test” brought me out of my reverie.

Dream: Airport and Stolen Phone

I fell to sleep after that and found myself at an airport standing in line to board a plane. I was told the flight was continuous. In my mind I saw it flying in circles and never landing. Despite this knowledge, I still intended to board the plane.

Then I was running and met up with a near exhausted man wearing regular clothing and a heavy jacket. I asked, “Have you been running a long time?” Through heavy breathing he nodded yes and then asked, “Can I borrow your phone?” It felt like he wanted to know where he was but then he said, “I need to call my wife.” We are running side-by-side and I get out my phone and ask, “Sure. Who is your wife?” He said,”The Reverend Jessup.” I think the name odd and feel something is off about the man. He reaches toward me, indicating he wants my phone. I unlock my phone, hesitate and then hand it to him. He takes it and then sprints to the right across heavy traffic. I reach for his arm and end up taking off his jacket. Another man tries to retrieve my phone but there are too many cars. I think, “I should’ve known.”

My phone being stolen woke me up. For some reason I started thinking of something that happened a long time ago, when I was a teenager. My mom had just filed for bankruptcy  and was doing very poorly financially. We had many animals, cats and dogs, that needed veterinary care she could not afford. Our beloved cat had an abscess that was killing her. My mom asked my grandfather to shoot her. Similarly, we had two dogs that came to our house after being dumped by their owners. Both were big and liked to kill goats, costing my mom the money to replace the goats. My mom could not afford to take care of them and could not afford to pay the fees the pound would impose. She asked my grandfather to take care of them as well.

One day I came home from school and the dogs were gone as was our cat. I knew what happened and was very upset by it.

For some reason these lost pets were on my mind. Just thinking of them made my entire body tense up. I saw my white cat Whiskers and the black and white dogs also. It was horrible the amount of upset this caused me to think of them losing their lives that way. It also upset me to think of how it might have made my grandfather feel.

Eventually I wondered why this memory came up. My guidance asked me to feel through it. Dogs are protection. Since one was black and one was white then it may represent yin and yang. Cats are female sexuality. The feelings I was having was very similar to the decimated feeling I have been having related to my physical counterpart. There is also a sense of unfairness and outrage at mistreatment of innocent creatures, or the innocent in general. I have always struggled with the way the cycle of life works and how something must die for another thing to live.

Honestly, I don’t know why all this came up still. It just adds to all the weirdness I’ve been experiencing lately!

 

by

Intense Vibrations and Dream: Job Offer in Georgia

Rough morning. My middle child had a fever last night and woke up not feeling well (headache, body aches). I took his temperature but he had just drank some water so it was at 98.9° meaning it’s probably much higher but the water lowered it temporarily. So, he is staying home from school today. My oldest was in tears this morning when I woke her, refusing to get out of bed and begging to sleep longer. She later told me she couldn’t sleep. When I asked when she fell asleep she said she was looking at her watch all night long so didn’t know. 😦 She wasn’t complaining of feeling sick, so I sent her to school but told her if she stared feeling unwell to go to the nurse.

I really am not a morning person so all this activity at 6:30am makes me a grumpy person!

Yesterday, I was completely bored which led to me feeling tired. I did go grocery shopping and took the kids to Pets Mart to check out the animals they had up for adoption, but I felt uneasy the whole time. The grocery store was really unpleasant because of the anxiety that was threatening to turn into a panic attack. Ugh!

I took a bath with Epsom salts when I got home but after, when putting on body lotion afterward, my left hand cramped up from the thumb to the middle and I couldn’t use it. If I did try to move it it hurt terribly. After a bit it went away. However, I have been noticing for quite a while that my left hand feels different than my right. The tendons feel tight in comparison.

So, of course, I panicked a bit about my hand thinking it meant I was getting MS or something. lol I had a flash of a vision a while back (2 years ago maybe) where I lost grip in my hands. Memory of this vision returned and so I assumed the worse. It is likely nothing, though.

By bedtime I was feeling a bit down again. I can’t seem to shake the feeling of impending doom I’ve been having, it’s like I am going to die and am just waiting for the moment to get here.

Weird Energy

After falling asleep I woke suddenly from a vivid dream in which I was reciting a code used to teleport to another place. I could feel the energy of teleportation and everything. It was a very strange feeling! The dream was likely the result of watching Stargate SG1 before bed. lol But it was so vivid that I got up to write it down and then decided it was not worth it so went back to bed. It was only 10:20pm when I woke.

Not long after drifting back to sleep I was awakened suddenly but by very strong vibrations. They hit me on either side of my lower back near the kidney area. The vibrations were very focused and curved through my lower back as if hooking into my ovaries. The result was an almost violent jolt of energy that surged through my second chakra. Within seconds of becoming aware of the vibrations my vision was taken over, again almost violently, by hynagogia. It was like my eyelids were peeled back but they, of course, were closed. I could do nothing but allow and saw millions of tiny bubbles in dark tones undulating rhythmically with the vibrations.

Not long after, everything settled and the vibrations calmed and then stopped. If I had allowed it I could have gone OOB but I was way too aware for that. The whole experience left me wondering.

Dream: Job Offer in Georgia

The rest of the night was occupied by a lengthy dream where I was offered a job in Georgia. I was asked to use my degree in education to work with children. The work was similar to what I have done in the past and one of my ex-bosses offered it to me out of the blue.

I remember being in my old bedroom at my mom’s house when she offered me the job. She advised me to get my resume ready and to prepare to relocate. I got out of bed and began to dress, taking off my shirt and putting on a white bra. There was a man in the bed and so I turned my back on him but felt fine dressing in front of him. My ex-boss advised me not to do that and put a blanket up between me and the man. I laughed it off because it seemed unnecessary. I told her that in co-ed military quarters it was normal. I had an entire visual in my mind of it, too, like it was a past experience of mine. Also, the movie Starship Troopers came to mind. LOL

Though I don’t recall who the man was, I do remember he had dark hair and seemed to be a co-worker.

My ex-boss and I then traveled to where my new job would be – Georgia. She and I discussed the route first and I saw a map in my mind. There were two routes mapped out. The routes were along the interstates. One I took when I went to Tennessee – the northerly route – and the other was southerly along the coast. I saw a calculation of the miles and remember telling her, “Wouldn’t the southern route be faster?” The southern route mileage was less considering the location was in central Georgia. But we were going to “fly” there.

For a split second I remembered I knew someone who lived in Georgia and not very far at all from where I was going.

At the location I was introduced to a very stern lady who seemed like a head mistress. We were in a very large mansion-like place. She told me there were rules there but I can’t remember them now, I just recall a classroom like environment and certain tasks I was suppose to know how to do. Everyone else did them but I had neglected to in the past. I was reminded of how I often shirk my duties in jobs until I am forced to do them by a supervisor. There were male co-workers present but I only remember seeing them doing teacher “stuff”.

I went into the kitchen to make myself a bite to eat and my ex-boss was there but she looked like my MIL. I asked if I could make myself some food and she said I could. I also asked where everyone else was, it was oddly empty. I was told I was at a temporary location until the main building was finished. The one I was in was 30 stories and so I was shocked they were building a bigger one.

Then I was reporting to a large, circular classroom. There were seats in a semicircle like in a lecture hall. I remember seeing stairs leading down toward it with women of all shapes and sizes. I looked for one of the women who had come with me. She had strawberry blonde hair but I didn’t recognize her. The gathering felt very important but I don’t know why.

Later, I went outside to investigate the new building we were to eventually work in. I recall walking along a long, cement path/road. I looked up at the trees as I walked and felt a bit in awe of everything. Here I was in Georgia starting a new life, a new job. It all felt surreal. The trees seemed to blur in my vision, like I was flying and I felt really positive. I looked ahead and began to run toward a construction site. It felt really, really good to run with the wind in my hair. It was humid, but I didn’t care.

When I arrived at the site I saw piles of sandy dirt and men in gear. As I ran I noticed water on the cement and slipped and fell on my bottom. One of the men started laughing and I laughed, too. I got up and began to run and purposefully slide on the water as if it was a slip-in-slide. Another woman, one of my co-workers, came out and played with me. She looked a lot like me but was more cautious. The last thing I recall is sliding on my stomach.

_74219715_change

Message

When I woke I was thinking it odd that I was dreaming about getting a job in GA. Then I swear I both heard and read a message but I cut off the message, saying, “I don’t want to talk to you.” I think I was being asked what was wrong.

The dream was just too odd to ignore. At one point a guide said to me, “You can’t avoid it. Things are about to change.” I remember answering, “I know.”

Interpretation

Rather than go through all the dream symbolism, I will just say what the dream feels to be symbolic of as a whole. It feels like I am about to be offered a chance to take a job, job here being a purpose or mission perhaps. The fact that the job seems to be as a teacher/counselor might indicate that I am meant to help someone(s). A bra is support, so I will have support. The blanket is protection, so I will have protection. I am warned to not be so open, so maybe I need to be cautious when around the male gender? The visual of the map is likely to show me where this mission is focused. Georgia could be symbolic or maybe an actual location. It is hard to tell here, but I know Georgia was very much the focus of the entire dream.

The construction site also seems significant to me. It means something is being built, in this case a large school or similar (lesson). The piles of sandy dirt feel to be for the foundation. So perhaps I will be building foundations? My running and playing gives me a good feeling; hopeful and playful.

Overall the dream leaves me with a good feeling, but also curious.

 

 

by

Kundalini Dream: White Wedding

Unexpected but welcomed experiences last night.

Warning: May be TMI for some of you (or maybe not).

Kundalini Dream: White Wedding

The beginning of the dream is difficult to remember. There was discussion about wedding (becoming Whole, Union) preparations with my family. I recall the man who was to give me away looked like my ex-step-father, which is weird. The family was all staying in a hotel and I was being led around and given lots of instructions. I recall not really understanding fully what was going on. It was like I was in a dreamy haze, not sure if any of it was really going to happen.

I recall mentioning that I was already married and wondering how a marriage was going to work. I remember being told to think of it as a renewal of our vows but that didn’t match up in my mind. The man I was “renewing” my vows with was not the same man I was married to. Perhaps I was confusing the dream with reality at this point, which is quite common in dreams where I am just on the verge of becoming lucid.

At one point I was talking with a young, blonde man (aspect of self) who was approximately 20 years old. We were in his hotel room (getting away, relaxation) and he was frantic about what he had been told regarding it. He said that there was no ventilation in the room and that someone had cut off the air so that he would slowly suffocate (feeling trapped, anxious). The memory of this part of the dream is actually seeing the interaction between him and this awful, cruel person who seemed intent on scaring the poor boy.

I looked at the window (new perspective, insight) over the bed, pointing it out to him, and said, “But you have a window.” He said, “It won’t open. I am going to die in here.” I went over to the window and slid the entire front down and off of it. Cool air flowed in. I said, “See. It’s open now. You will be just fine.”

The young man was quite relieved. We both sat on the bed and talked about the upcoming wedding.

The dream got strange here. The lighting shifts in my memory and everything gets darker. A man is with me who I recognized as the man I will be marrying very soon – the next day. He has dark hair and feels older than me. Just being near him is intoxicating and I find myself pressing myself up against him and becoming very aroused. He is returning my affection and the energy just goes higher and higher to the point that I am completely blissed-out on the energy of us.

The whole time this energy is rising there is discussion about the upcoming marriage. There seems to be another man in the room talking to me. He is standing near the door and I cannot recall his face. His energy reminds me of a guide’s energy, very to the point and stoic.

It is hard to remember what this guide said, though, because I was thoroughly into the man I was with. I remember saying I could not wait to be married. It felt like we were having sex right there in front of the guide but I don’t think “sex” is the right word. Whatever it was, I was experiencing multiple orgasmic waves throughout my body. I haven’t experienced anything like it before and the more I interacted with the man, the more intense it became to the point that I was surprised I was able to stand it. It felt like the energy was cycling through me – root to crown and back again – and speeding up, building to the point of unheard of levels of ecstasy.

Despite the pleasure I was experiencing, there was a conversation on-going. I remember seeing my wedding gown and being told I needed to get ready. The man I was with (we were on the floor) suddenly sat up and said something about losing his gum (sticky situation or feeling vulnerable). He sounded a bit angry but it didn’t phase me. I looked, located a piece of yellow (solar plexus, control, fear) gum on the floor, pointed it out and said, “It’s okay. It’s right there.”

That is when the voice of the guide told me to get my shoes (new approach on life) on. I jumped up, energy still cycling through my body, and looked for my shoes. I recall seeing a flash of my own face. I had a large, crusty sore (holding in some negative emotion) on my face (self-identity). I grabbed one tennis shoe that looked like it fit a child (innocence, curiosity) and then found the other.

I woke up suddenly from the dream. The energy of my interactions with the man still flowing through me. It felt fantastic!

Two songs were going through my mind as I woke: White Wedding and You Oughta Know.

The lyrics going through my head were: “And I’m here to remind you, of the mess you made when you went away”.

The lyrics from this one were: “It’s a nice day to start again. It’s a nice day for a white wedding.”

Yeah, strange combination. It felt like a message that would be something like, “Sorry about the mess I made when I left. Can we start again? It’s a nice day for a white wedding.”

OBE: Two’s

Somehow I ended up asleep, or in the in-between, because the next thing I recall is being lucid standing outside next to a tall, wooden privacy fence (division within self). It was dark and I was very obviously OOB. It took me a bit to get my wits about me because I had not expected to go OOB, but once I did I enjoyed every moment of it.

I climbed up on the fence, somewhat floating but feeling pulled down toward the ground. I felt and then saw a dog (protection, fidelity) below and behind me. He was barking but I did not feel fear. He felt like my deceased dog, Trooper. My focus was on the clusters of white flowers that just appeared in the air near me. The first was a single, white daisy (love, sensuality). I plucked it from the air and then let it fall down toward the dog. He snatched it up in his mouth and I said, “Good boy!”

Then I spotted a cluster of white flowers floating above the fence. I floated up and inspected them for a bit. They were beautiful and delicate. I remember feeling joy at seeing them and knowing they were a message of good things to come.

I could see the entire back yard from the top of the fence. I saw a swimming pool (cleansing, renewal) to my right and other yards with fences. I tried to fly up but kept being pulled down. So I just let myself float down. I was saying something as I floated down. I think it was something like, “Take me where you will.”

As I floated I hovered close to the ground and then was pulled along for a while. I was completely at ease and happy. The scene shifted, I felt it shift, and then I was standing in my bedroom. The door was in the wrong place and open to a hallway that isn’t there in real life. I walked into the hallway and encountered my daughter. I could hear her and my son talking very loudly. My daughter walked past me followed by another version of herself. I realized there were two of her and they were from different time periods. I smiled and continued walking down the hallway thinking, “There is more than one of everyone here.”

In the kitchen I encountered my sons sitting at a table. They were saying, “We’re hungry.” I got out some thick, peanut butter stuff. My middle son rejected his and I encouraged him to try it because it was almond butter (peace). I recall there being two of both my sons.

Then I went into the living area. Laying on the sofa I found my ex-husband and two versions of me, both with short hair. One I recognized as me when I was quite young. The other as me about a decade ago. Both of these other versions of me were aware of me and talking to each other and my ex. My ex said something about how I was not me, it could not be me. I looked closely at the other two me’s, noting “when” these me’s existed and concluded aloud, “No. I’m better.” Then I smiled and said, “Look, my hair is much longer now.” I showed him my hair that was pulled back into a ponytail (girlhood, putting one’s hair up).

My ex accepted this and I remember asking permission to get closer to him. We kissed and the kiss was quite real. I kept kissing him, fully enjoying the sensation of it. I remember saying, “You always were a good kisser.” This made me curious about sex. Would it also be good? I asked him and he agreed that it was okay. So we had sex right there on the sofa. It was all very real feeling.

Once awake I was shocked at just how much sexual activity occurred in one night! First, the Kundalini full body orgasms that were beyond amazing and intoxicating – Divine. Then the very physical versions which far exceeded any orgasms I’ve had in this body in this lifetime (but then all dream orgasms are much better than awake ones IMO).

I have not had an OBE since January and before that had one in December. OBEs are few and far between these days and I have not had one quite like this in a long while. I feel absolutely wonderful this morning. Completely satisfied in more than one way. So grateful for these experiences. They came just when needed.

 

by

Dream: Shifting Poles

Woke up again this morning not knowing what day of the week it was and struggling to figure it out. lol This has been happening since my husband left the end of January. I don’t panic when it happens but it is odd!

At work yesterday I signed the checks I cut to pay invoices. I am officially a co-signer on the business bank account. I made sure not to look at the check amounts because some were over $50K and I am a little freaked that I am signing checks for that amount! There will be many more checks in the future, some topping $100K so I have to get use to it I guess.

I realized last night that this change in my job duties indicates a longer term position than I originally considered when I took the job. In fact, the next step (months away I hope) is to replace my supervisor/coworker, the one who is now under hospice care at home waiting to die from cancer in her brain. 😦 I will likely be put on salary soon and my pay will increase steadily as I prove myself more and more competent.

I honestly don’t know what to think of all this. I am neutral, really. Ten years ago, if anyone had asked me where I would be at this time in my life I would not have seen this type of career path, that is for sure! I always saw myself as a teacher and counselor. It just goes to show how life can take us in unexpected directions, directions we choose via our thoughts and intentions. My decision to stop working in the educational system and find a new path resulted in this path but only because I did not resist it. Otherwise, I might still be a stay-at-home mom struggling to figure out what I wanted to do with myself once my youngest started school.

I went to visit my friend/coworker with cancer at her home last week. She was in good spirits but has lost the ability to use her legs. So she is bed bound and spends much of her time sleeping. Her cognitive ability seems unchanged, though, and she was her usual self. Sadly, she looked to have aged 10+ years overnight. Her weight is only 85lbs now and she should weigh 130lbs. The good news is she is not in any pain and appears very peaceful for the most part. She continues to talk as if she is going to fully recover and return to work anytime. Denial perhaps? Or maybe just her personality as she tends to be very optimistic. Right now she is holding on to see her only child and son. He just got released from prison and she has not seen him in over 20 years. He is expected to visit in a few months (he’s on probation now). Thus, it looks like my dream prediction of June might come to pass as my friend’s death month.

Yesterday my husband once again triggered me into thinking all hope is lost for our marriage. I just can’t get him to see things my way when it comes to money/finance and if I can’t then he will continue to be untrustworthy in that department. I can’t see where we are going as a couple and, like my job, I feel a bit neutral about all of it right now. It seems like I am in the midst of a lesson on surrender and Trust. Maybe I am doing well considering I am not reacting like I would normally. There are so many things the me from a decade ago would be doing now that I am not – like talking to my mom and inviting her into my problems, doing things to “punish” my husband so he knows he is “wrong”, and just letting my Ego-child throw her tantrums. I have instead been allowing myself to feel the uncomfortable emotions rather than getting angry and vengeful for the hurt I am feeling.

I am also trying really hard not to look into my future to try and predict what will happen next. It is easy to think of all the scenarios but it does me no good if I can’t decide what I want to happen. There are continual internal reminders to focus on what I want and not on what I don’t want. Since thinking of what I want often leads to the don’t wants I have just been trying to keep my mind blank. If I am thinking of something it is usually the Kundalini bliss and wanting that to be a permanent part of my life experience. Even then I think, “But……” because my current reality doesn’t seem to lead to the possibility of what I want. With that I have to remind myself that what I can see presently is limited. So much is unknown and that is okay.

Most recently I have asked my guidance to help me clear the blockages in my energy field. I want to be a clear conduit for the Kundalini and I am not that at present. There are many layers of blockages and, though I have cleared many already, there are more.

sunset

Dream: Shifting Poles

Strange yet very vivid dream last night about the shifting of the magnetic poles.

I was on a trip with my youngest. We were walking along an overgrown path, heading north. It felt like Alaska but it didn’t look like Alaska. My son was in front of me, much smaller than he is now. I stayed behind him to keep him in my sight. The scene was absolutely beautiful. There were fields of sunflowers (spiritual guidance, perserverence) to our right. Hills covered in giant sunflowers and rolling hills in the distance that took my breath away. To our left were massive clusters of white flowers, like Begonias. I said to my son, “Look out for butterflies.” As I said this, a massive Monarch butterfly (transformation) flew past me, brushing up against my cheek. I thought the white flowers must be milkweed (hope and happiness).

The path kept narrowing and eventually we could not proceed because it turned into a cliff edge (hard times ahead). I told my son to turn around as I looked over the edge and could not see the bottom.

As we made our way back I saw a man standing in the middle of the path behind us. He looked at me strangely and I felt a bit weirded out. His hair was shoulder length, he had very pale skin and he just stared at me. He asked me something and I paused. He reached out and touched the ends of my hair asking me if I normally kept my hair so long. I remember answering him and him placing both his palms on my upper back as if he wanted something from me. I lingered a bit and then told him I had to catch up to my son. I almost became lucid from the man’s touch.

When I turned around, my son was on some train tracks that extended out over some water and just ended mid-air. I warned him to be careful and he slipped over the edge onto a bunch of jagged rocks. He was completely fearless. I looked below and saw canoes and all kinds of boats (journey, exploration). I remember thinking it had not been there before and being a bit confused about direction.

My son then ran over the bridge and I followed. We ended up on a moving ship (emotional journey). One minute the bridge ended over open water and the next we were on a boat!

Once on board I saw a completely naked man walk past. I said to the captain, “Was that a naked man?” He said, “Some people are.” Then I went to look for my daughter who I saw go out on the deck.

The next thing I recall is sitting inside a bus (following the crowd) or train traveling with a group. We were in Alaska (it seemed). I realized the road I had been on previously with my son was not the road we were now on. I had been lost. I exclaimed to the group, “Now I know where we are! The shifting poles must have led me in the wrong direction! North is no longer the north it use to be.”

The bus came to a stop and everyone got out. I stopped and stared at the gold and orange foliage of the trees and the rays of sunlight pouring through. The sunset (endings) was spectacular and I got out my camera to take a photo only it wouldn’t work. When I looked through the camera the colors were gone and it was turning dark.

Eventually I realized I must be out of pictures and opened up my camera to pull out 35mm film that indicated there were only 15 photos on it. I was upset because I had no more film. A man offered me a new roll. The sense from the man was he was different and I did not know what to think of his energy. I can’t remember what he looks like now but somehow we were connected. He called and ordered food over the phone and I asked him where he was staying. He kept saying to me that he was stuck there because his partner was so slow. It seemed his partner was a male and wanted to sight see and the man did want to linger.

Considerations

When I woke I didn’t know what to think of the dream. Overall, the feeling I had upon waking was good. I felt rested and calm. The dream itself seemed to be hopeful. The visuals of the sunflowers, butterfly and milkweed was very vivid, still is. The man who touched my upper back is also vivid but I can’t see his face. I can’t quite place the odd feeling I got from the man. Was I afraid of him? Was he giving me a warning? I can’t say. Perhaps his hands were meant as healing or maybe he was pushing me, trying to get me on the right path?

Ships are a common dream symbol for me. They indicate emotion and healing, delving under the surface into the subconscious. Yay. Not.

The message about the poles shifting is interesting as well. In the dream I realized I had been going the wrong way. The road was still in the same place but magnetic north moved. Since I was using a compass to go north I went that way and the road was now more to the west. Perhaps this is a message that I need to stick to the road. IDK. So weird!