I awoke at 3am and then at 5:30am in tears. Really? Sigh. I hate this purge crap.

Dream: Apartment Search in Mexico

This dream began with me traveling into a town in Mexico with my mom. We were discussing where I would live. As we drove, the road beneath us turned white with strips of white granite at intersections. I told her, “Oh I can see so much better now! I like it when the roads look like this. If I were going to live anywhere it would be here.” She said, “Downtown?” I said, “Yes, I like this area.”

As we continued the area began to get more ghetto-like, with shabby one bedroom apartments and narrow, crumbling asphalt roads. I mentioned this was an area I would not live in and that the apartments cost $200-$400 month. I added that mostly college students lived there. It was pretty grungy.

Then we were outside and my mom was wanting to stop and get some ice cream. We stood across the road from a coffee shop and she went in, asking me repeatedly if I wanted something sweet. I said, “No, I’m stuffed” and I really felt full to the point of wanting to vomit. She went inside and got some ice cream. When I saw it I nearly threw up.

Then my mom was talking about the construction of a new home. I saw its brilliant white walls and immaculate, new condition. I was sad, though, and ignored her and her excitement seemed only to make me sadder.

Dream: Date in Mexico

The dream shifted and I was heading into a restaurant to meet my counterpart for a date. I saw him sitting at a small, white table waiting for me and instantly smiled. Then I saw he was not alone. He had brought with him a blonde woman who was dressed very professionally in a silver dress suit with high heels. They were sitting together with their laptops open and she was jabbering away. I remember thinking, “Why did he bring her??” When he saw me he looked uncomfortable and said, “I hope you don’t mind but she wanted to come along.” I remember thinking it a bad idea and feeling like the third wheel.

I watched them talk for some time, feeling uncomfortable and twiddling my thumbs. Then I heard him mention his new laptop and show how it could roll up, tube like. This peaked my interest and I went over to see for myself. I mentioned how I could only see it useful for painting and got out a paint brush and painted the laptop screen with white paint. Neither seemed to notice and I felt instantly stupid and apologized, grabbing a cloth to clean it off.

As I cleaned the screen they continued chatting. I ended up having to use paint thinner to get it clean. As I was rinsing the rag a woman sitting at the bar began to heave and cough. She began to throw up blood. I felt sorry for her but did nothing. Someone said she was a hemophiliac and it was normal and not to worry. The whole time everyone, even me, spoke Spanish.

Then my “brother” was there and it was his birthday. I mentioned he was 9 years old, but said, “nino” instead of the number. Then I remembered he was 10 and said, “No, he’s 10!” but I said, “Domingo” instead of “diez.” Everyone began to sing happy birthday in Spanish.

My counterpart and the blonde woman were still jabbering away, totally oblivious to me, so I left. As I left I asked someone behind the counter for help but got my words mixed up and had to tell him I didn’t know how to say it in Spanish. He pointed me toward the door and others came to assist me.

I got into a car and sped off, feeling very sad and rejected and wondering what I had done wrong. I recall following a route through the rough part of town and then taking a turnpike toward the newer section of the city. I looked at my reflection in the car mirror and I looked pretty bad. My face had large dry scabs and I looked pale and old. I compared myself to the blonde woman and realized I was no match for her.

Dream: Dead Dogs and Lost Car

At some point I parked and walked for a long time, talking to someone about how I felt. I ended up walking into the back of a brand new restaurant kitchen. The people watched me but said nothing. I went up through to the front and found them serving samples to a select few. I went directly to the door and outside where a woman dressed in a blue suit put a microphone up to my face and asked me if I was the owner. I stood there silent and shocked. Another woman came out and told me it was the grand opening of the restaurant and they thought I owned it. I told the reporter I had no idea and left feeling confused about how I had gotten there.

I walked searching for my car but did not know where I was. The city I was in was obviously not in Mexico. Everyone spoke English. It was also clean and modern. I wandered in the dark streets for a while lost and eventually ran into a woman walking her two dogs, one tiny and black the other large and white. She asked if I needed help, I said I did. She resembled the blonde woman from before but was not as nicely dressed.

We talked for a while, but I only remember feeling very sad. We were at a parking lot and I told her, “I can’t find my car.” She said, “I bet I know where you parked it.” I looked over the parking lot and saw some cars and several bloated, dead, white dogs. I remembered my dog Trooper then and knew he was in my car. I began to worry he would die. The woman reassured me he would be fine.

She asked me to tell her what was wrong and I told her about the failed date and how I felt rejected and unable to compete with the blonde woman. All I remember her saying now was, “But he asked you to come didn’t he?” I nodded. She said, “Then he wanted you there.” Her reassurance didn’t help and I began to worry more about my dog, thinking he was all I had left. I began to cry.

When I woke up the song, Come Monday was going over and over in my head. Specifically, “Come Monday, it’ll be alright. Come Monday, I’ll be holding you tight.”

Interpretation

The above three dreams were like one. When I woke I was beside myself with upset, still crying, and feeling confused and disoriented. When I remembered my current life and situation it compounded my upset. The woman in the dream, all professional, pretty and flawless, was in my mind. I saw her as perfect and me as flawed and undesirable. My mother in the first dream was also her, though I saw her differently – more mother-like. In all three parts she was happy, confident, and positive, jabbering away without a care in the world. 

I am certain we are discussing my emotional state in the beginning (apartments). I wish to overcome it but the reality is I am in poor condition (rundown apartments). I believe the professional woman is what I desire to be and the version I present to others. I hide the undesirable version of myself because I know she will be rejected for her unworthiness. My upset about my “true” self is apparent throughout the dream series and I feel it is the reason my counterpart rejects me. The new home at the end of the first part is to show me that the future holds promise. I am unwilling to look at it, though, still caught up in despair.

The boy in the dream looked like my brother. I suspect he represents my counterpart on some level, my masculine aspect. Domingo likely relates to spirituality, spiritual nourishment. The woman vomiting blood could be a deep emotional purging or cleansing and a cry for help. 

I can’t find my car or where I parked it. I feel unable to find my path, lost in life. The parking lot indicates a need for rest. The dead dogs represent loss or loss of a friend. 

I think the song was trying to give me hope that this too, will pass. I hope so. I am so very tired of feeling like this. Plus, Lunes comes after Domingo. lol

Dream: Grieving

I was at a home located on my grandparents land with a small group of friends. The dream scene was familiar but nothing like reality. We heard a young boy cry out and several of us went out after him in the dark. I remember not being able to see as I ran up the road. Ahead of me it was dark but behind me it was so bright I couldn’t see.

Then I was in a bathroom with a young boy. The bathroom was also his bedroom, though. His parents were throwing a party and it was quite loud. He stayed in his room to stay out of trouble. Someone said since his room and the bathroom were in the same room it was the perfect place for a friend to sneak in and molest him. I was horrified and worried about the boy.

The person I was with questioned the boy but he did not give out any information except that his parents often had parties and he hid there for his own protection. I remember recognizing the place and getting confused between the dream and reality. Someone asked the boy to give five positive events that happened in 2016. When they asked him, I began thinking of my own but ended up talking about my grandfather. I suddenly missed him horribly and began to cry. I remember saying, “I haven’t seen him in my dreams in so long. I hope he’s okay.” I heard back, “He’s okay. Don’t worry.”

I was still talking about him when I woke up.

Interpretation

I feel I was exploring parts of myself that need inspection in all of the dreams I had. When I woke from this dream I was thinking of all the male figures in my life who I loved and lost. My grandfather came to mind first followed by my father and then others in my life who have gone, not necessarily in death. I felt such horrible loss and I remember thinking “Why does everyone I love leave me?” This is not true, of course, but that is the place I found myself in when I awoke.

2016

I did think of 5 significant events in 2016 eventually. Mt. Shasta in May, Nashville in October, meeting my counterpart in October, the emotional/empathic overload of November and December, and all the Kundalini rising incidents inundating the year. And in the midst of it all was the fabulous time I had getting to know my counterpart along the way. It was a great year for the most part and I would not give it back for anything. I learned so much about myself and grew exponentially. It wasn’t always easy, but then who grows when life is easy?

A night filled with dreams, many of which had me waking up upset or angry.

Dream: Lost on a Cruise Ship

I entered a cruise ship with a group and was assigned my room. I don’t recall ever going inside, though. Instead, I walked the halls with a portly young man talking about my grandmother and how I can communicate with her even though she is dead. Specifically, I told him about how she visited me in a dream and my mother and I made her a chocolate cake and reminisced about how much I use to love cooking with her. I continued to tell him all kinds of things about my life and spiritual experiences. I held nothing back. He listened, at first very interested and then becoming quieter and quieter. When I was finished telling him everything (and I mean everything) about myself he made an excuse that he had to be somewhere and got away from me quickly. When I tried to follow him, he literally ran away and I received a feeling from him of, “Get away from me! You’re nuts!” I felt completely destroyed by his reaction. Never had I shared everything about myself so openly and honestly. What I said was genuine and came from my heart. I trusted him wholeheartedly and he rejected me outright and with such fear and rejection that I was left feeling obliterated and spiritually desiccated.

Then I went looking for my room. I thought I was in room #112 so went toward the front. I saw the maitre D of the hotel go into the room I thought was mine. Something felt wrong so I walked past and decided to go to the front desk because I had no key. I stood there with two blonde girls, sisters, and requested a new key. The man at the desk asked if the girls were mine, I said no. I was given a new key and saw my room number was 68.

I went looking for my room and went through hallway after hallway unable to find it. I found rooms 67 and 69 but my room was missing. I went up an open elevator with others as I looked. The operator of the elevator had a negative energy. Strangely I shifted into him while I was also myself. He pushed a button and let out a swarm of zombies. I remember being relieved and allowed myself to be overcome by them, relishing the dead feeling over the awful rejection I had previously experienced.

Interpretation

To be on a cruise represents an emotional journey. In this case, it has to do with coping with feelings of rejection. Being locked out of my room indicates I am feeling unable to shift into a new state of mind or personal identity. The numbers of the room indicate what I am rejecting and/or searching for. I never find my new room, instead being swept up in negativity and allowing myself to succumb to the zombies and feeling “dead”. The feeling from this dream is that I made a decision to never open myself up to another because it is too painful. In the dream, at the moment the man rejected me I remember thinking, “I knew this would happen. That’s why I never reveal my True Self to anyone.” My choice is to remain closed off and dead rather than feel the pain that results.

Dream: Toy Ark

I walked to a school and interacted with others who I knew. There was a woman struggling with a boy who would not come into the school. She asked for my help and I obliged. I spoke to the boy and he seemed to trust me. He had a small toy with him that fit in the palm of his hand. I saw that it was Noah’s Ark and had tiny animals in white that fit into slots in the toy. I commented on it and how well he put it together. The dream gets fuzzy here but the next thing I recall is holding the boy close to me while covered with a blanket. I felt motherly and recognized he needed to feel loved and secure. I gave that to him willingly. A woman came to retrieve him and I nudged him, making his little toy fall and pieces dislodge. I picked it up, apologizing and placing the pieces back. I saw the deck of the ark and a tiny, white angel figure was in the middle. The figure began to move on its own, walking across the deck.

Interpretation

This dream intrigues me. The boy I think is an aspect of me. An ark is symbolic of Wholeness and the preservation and protection of something valuable. I end up holding the boy close and recognizing his need for love, protection and security. I cradle him close to me and feel a connection to him. Then I see the ark, the tiny angel walking across it, which could indicate Divine assistance toward Wholeness.

Dream: Possum and Fruit

I was inside my old childhood home. My friend David was there sitting at a desk. It was dark and difficult to see. Strangely, the room shifted into a room with screened windows. I don’t recall what I said to David but he left and I was sitting at the computer searching for something, a video I think. I found a DVD was in the drive and there were two files on it, both of them videos I had made where I discussed my OBEs and answered questions. It was not what I was looking for so I gave up.

Something moved below me and I saw a small, adolescent opossum. It was fuzzy and gray and appeared like a pet. I saw it crawl up on the face of a child, the boy from the previous dream, and seem to sniff around. I shooed it away and it ran and hid under a bush. I worried about how it had gotten inside and found a rip in the window screen of an open window. I went to close the window and saw both an opossum and a large dog trying to get in. I closed the window.

Then I went outside to check the bush near the window, suspecting it was the opossum’s den. I found my friend had stashed fruits there. One was a very large, rotting mango and the other fruits were spiky and unfamiliar. I picked up a spiky fruit and it was ripe. It was orange with some yellowing sections. I remember wanting to eat it, but I kept it instead, and asked someone if they wanted it. Then the opossum ran out from under the bush.

Interpretation

I’m not sure what the first part represents. Perhaps I am discussing my spiritual experiences and teaching others about OBEs? The opossum looks like a pet. Funny enough, I keep seeing them in my back yard at night lately. Opossum brings the message that something is not what it seems and to inspect it further. My shutting the window indicates I feel abandoned. The torn screen indicates my optimism has been destroyed. The mango represents sexuality and/or lust. It is rotten so I leave it. Rotten fruit indicates a missed opportunity and/or a premature ending to a relationship. The other fruit is one I did not recognize but it looks something like the image above. Fruit in general represents growth, abundance and financial gain. Since it has spikes on it, maybe these things could be uncomfortable for me? I’m not sure but I give it away.

Dream: Parking Lot Robbery

I was driving by a parking lot and saw something suspicious. I went to investigate and realized the parking area was being robbed. I drove over a barricade and stopped near the kiosk to call for help. Inside, I grabbed a radio handle and called into it, “911”. They responded and I told them the parking lot was being robbed. Then I heard voices approaching so hid beneath the counter. They could hear the radio dispatcher replying so came into the small building and found me hiding there. They were just kids and I confronted them, asking them to stop what they were doing. The kids held up guns, but they were green, see-through water guns. I remember thinking they were idiots to use guns like that. Just as I took the guns from them, a young girl came up holding a gun that looked real but then held it out to me. I took the gun and realized it, too, was a water gun. The dispatcher was saying something over the radio about the parking lot being “community” and “donation only”. Then a male voice responded, “That’s why it is a perfect target.” The three kids stood there with me and some of their team were yelling at them to get out and running past toward the exit. That is when I both heard and saw the sirens of an emergency vehicle approaching.

Interpretation

Parking lots indicate I need to slow down. Robbery suggests an identity crisis or that I am suffering from a major loss. 911 indicates that I am seeking help. It can also indicate that I need immediate assistance with the crisis I find myself in. There is also the angel number meaning but I feel it is more the dream symbol meaning. The “robbers” end up shooting water guns. Water guns indicate I am having difficulty expressing my true feelings. The sirens represent a warning and act to focus attention on the problem at hand.

Some strange dreams last night.

Dream: Full Moon Camera

I was standing outside in a familiar place with a person I can’t identify. It was dark and there was a full moon. I was pointing at it and said, “I want to take a picture but my camera had a lousy phone. Do you think you could take a picture of it for me?” The person just pointed at the moon. I looked closer, trying to see clearer and then the moon began to descend toward me. It had a metallic cord attached to it and the moon part became this giant moon eye that opened and closed. As I focused on it, it began to resemble a camera but had this beam of white light coming out of the lens. The moon camera and I just stared back at each other, the light not bothering me, and this eventually woke me up.

Full moon – Represents completeness/Wholeness. The fact that it turned into a camera causes me to wonder if maybe I need to inspect something about or within myself.

When I woke from this dream I thought about an OBE ET encounter I had once where a light that looked like the moon was used to draw my attention away from some energy work being done on me. The moon camera was really alien-looking in the dream. It was familiar, though, and I was not afraid. I assume it was meant to illuminate me somehow, though seeing it only woke me up.

Dream: Kindergarten

Me and a group of three other students were led into a Kindergarten classroom. We were shown our desks and then got sent to pick up our work packets. I went to a table and saw my packet on top, my name clearly written in bold letters. There was one large piece of paper on the bottom the size of poster board that resembled a map. I saw it was to be colored and this disappointed me. I thought the work way too easy and I sulked some at my desk while a blonde boy excitedly talked and jabbered. He irritated me because he was not following the rules and would get us all in trouble. There was also a student I remember who was not at our table but was familiar. I knew him as my brother but he was older than the other kids, had dark hair and eyes, and spoke only Spanish. Our teacher was old with salt and pepper gray hair but I remember him being a substitute.

The number 5 was repeated over and over during this time. Not only was I 5 years old but we were counting something and 5 came up several times while I was talking to my brother. I was counting up to 5 and he was saying  it was 6.

We were taken out of class and I got distracted on the way by a small nest situated on the grass near the building. There were three, yellow chicks with brown markings and strange bills. I worried they were too exposed and knew a storm was coming so I went into a warehouse to find something to cover them. My brother was with me. I found nothing and so returned to the nest and found the mother there with the chicks. When they saw me, though, they ran to me like I was their mother. Looking at the mother more closely I realized she was a Kiwi bird. I also noticed there was one egg still in the nest but it was mushy, very obviously rotten.

Kindergarten – Represents a transitional life phase and unresolved feelings of separation.

Nest – Comfort, home, new opportunities. 

Kiwi – Represents a situation I am trying to hide from or avoid.

Ducklings – The baby Kiwis looked like ducks. Ducks symbolize a situation one is trying to “duck” or avoid. They also carry the message of “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck”. Some things are too obvious to deny.

Rotten egg – Eggs represent birth and creative potential. In this case these things must have gone bad. 

Interpretation

When I had this dream I was very upset that I had been sent “back” to Kindergarten. I was in a sour mood but set on following the rules and being a “good girl”. That is why the boy was irritating to me. I didn’t want any attention drawn to me because I was set against getting in trouble. This strikes me as very symbolic of how I approach life sometimes. Something that stands out to me is that the packet had my nickname “Dayna” on it rather than my legal name. Usually I see my legal name in dreams, so perhaps it reflects that I have changed and  it also seemed like someone was trying to get my attention.

The baby chicks and Kiwi mother were very vivid in the dream and much of my attention was focused on them. I wanted to save them and spent a long time looking for something to cover them from the “storm”. They could symbolize something I am trying to avoid (seems to be a theme in this dream anyway) but they may also symbolize me and my three children and me trying to protect them from what I view as a “storm”. My “brother” tagged along with me in the dream. We interacted but I cannot remember any of that part. It is like it has been wiped from my memory.

This week has been non-eventful. Spiritually, there is nothing much to report besides continued strange dreams and an occasional ear ringing. Emotionally, I am pretty stable but experienced some depression around the full moon. That is gone now. I continue to have little to no interest in spiritual topics. I have been ignoring FB and spiritually related posts and feel repelled by some topics which previously would have intrigued me. Light Language is one of those topics as well as energy shifts/reports, gamma ray bursts, walk-in’s, predicted portals, stargates, galactic alignments, ETs…well most everything. It seems like I am throwing off old clothing and replacing it with something new. What that is exactly, I’m not sure, but right now I really just feel like throwing in the towel on all the things spiritual. Disengaged.

On a positive note, I am experiencing physical balance once again. Whatever happened to my physical body back in October did a number on it and threw my system into major confusion. I have no explanation but I felt it and it sucked. My hormones were especially out of sync and are finally coming back into balance. I also don’t have the abdominal discomfort that I was experiencing in November and December. I feel really good compared to the last three months and for that I am extremely grateful, especially since everyone around me (my husband and half of my coworkers) are struggling with nasty allergy symptoms and have been since the last week of 2016. Me, no allergies whatsoever. Happy dance!

I wanted to share some of the dreams I’ve been having throughout this week to give you an idea of what is going on under the surface. I love how dreams allow one to look into the deeper realms of their subconscious and see what is going on behind the scenes. Plus, I’ve been told I’m in contract negotiations again. Yay. Whatever. Yeah, that’s my attitude in a nutshell right now.

Dream: Stolen Apples and Hot Air Balloon

I was at my mom’s house looking at an apple tree. It was covered in apples, at least 50. A person came, picked them and put them in a basket. Then the basket full of apples was stolen. I was shown another apple tree that only produced one apple at most per year. It did not produce any this year. Then there was another tree that had just died from lack of care. A final tree thrived despite not being cared for. It was not fruit bearing. I remember being told November was the best month to pick the apples and so I assumed that I would have to wait until this November for the next harvest.

Then I looked up and saw a brilliant hot air balloon rising into the sky. I took a photo of it, zooming in on the balloon. It was rainbow colored. I turned and saw the location from which they were taking off. A man asked if I wanted to take a ride in one. I said no. I then watched another balloon take off and took video of it but the sun was too bright and blinded me.

Apple – knowledge, wisdom, prosperity. Perhaps I feel these things have been stolen from me? Since November came up, maybe that was the month they were stolen? That was a really difficult month for me. The other trees may have been aspects of my life. One didn’t produce, one died and the one that was not fruit bearing thrived. Perhaps this means I need to just be happy with no fruit?

Hot air balloon – time to overcome depression, a process of individuation, or a spiritual quest. Can symbolize a need to become elevated. I didn’t want to take a ride so maybe I am hesitant to continue the journey. I know the depression part won’t happen. I’ve been depressed most of my life. 

Taking picture/video – Need to focus on something. In this case, the balloon (depression? Spiritual elevation? not sure). 

Dream: Foal

This one made me happy. 🙂

I was in the woods crossing a metal bridge made of sections that moved as I walked over it. I had tried to skip the bridge but was directed to walk over it. On the other side I saw horses. A foal ran up to me and nuzzled me, pushing his head into my body. I hugged him and felt such joy. He was newborn, a fuzzy brown and white mustang.

Bridge – important decision and/or critical junction point has been reached. Transitional period and can indicate a connection between two things has been made.

Foal – New understanding, fresh energy. 

Horse – strength, power and endurance.

Dream: Upside Down Bowl

I was pouring cereal into a bowl and saw that the bowl was upside down. Then I noticed the cereal had raisins in it. I mentioned I didn’t want raisins and began to pick them out one by one.

Bowl – one’s sense of security. Since it’s upside down perhaps I feel like my life has been turned upside down. Yep that’s probably it.

Cereal – represents new project or stage in one’s life.

Raisins – negative forces in one’s life. 

Dream: 8 Dead Cats

This dream came the morning of a day of major emotional purging.

I was in a hotel and heard a commotion from outside. I looked out the window and saw what looked like the legs of a white, hoofed animal. I went down to investigate. Opening the front door I saw a horrid scene. There were dead cats strewn all over the road and people standing there, mouths open. It was obvious the cats had been hit by a car. Some had guts pouring out of their bodies. There was blood everywhere. I counted them. There were 8.

Hotel- Transitional period in life, shift in personality. Temporary escape from life.

Cat – independence, feminine sexuality, power, and creativity. Since they were slaughtered it could be that I feel this part of me has been destroyed (very true). 8 is my life path number and is similar in meaning to the symbolism of the cat. 

Visions

While in the in-between I have been receiving visions of the numbers 1, 11, 111, and 1111 in neon blue. This happened on at least three separate occasions that I can remember this week. In one instance I saw a sign that flashed first 1, then 11, then 111, then 1111, as if in sequence. When I tried to ignored it, it flashed again. Really irritating! Not surprisingly I keep seeing those numbers in my waking life. One day a boy wearing a jersey with a big blue 11 written on it came by me twice in the same day.