Category Archives: Dreams

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Dreams: Dead Babies and Life Review

I went to bed early feeling very conflicted yet again. My heart was painful – shooting pains straight to the center. It started to make me worry that I may have a heart issue. Of course, as soon as I began to worry the pain stopped.

Dream: Dead Babies

I had a very odd dream in which I was with a family. There was a young man with dark hair who I recall knowing since he was a boy. He was all grown up and was being given his old horse back. I remember seeing the horse and thinking it didn’t have much life left in it. Then a young, blonde girl who was in her early teens entered the scene and the feeling was that she and the man were to be married. There was some upset, though, and the church was having to deal with massive flooding in L.A. The flooding was so bad that it flooded the crypts of a church and tons of bodies were floating about in the murky water, the bodies of babies. I saw them piled up, one on top of the other. They all looked perfectly preserved, eyes open and naked like little cherub dolls. I was horrified in the dream and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The pile was as tall as a person! They explained that there would be more bodies and that these needed to be buried. I went to help, touching one of the babies whose eyes stared at me blankly. I remember wanting to chop them into little pieces, to destroy them. It was disturbing.

When I woke up it was 5am and I was very upset by the dream, feeling it indicated that my dreams and hopes for the future were “dead”. I agonized over it for a while, feeling unable to pull myself out of the despair. I saw each dead baby as a dream that would never come to fruition. Interestingly, when I looked it the symbolism, dead babies symbolizes the end of something that was once a part of me. What that something it is, I don’t know for sure, but it upset me.

Semi-Lucid Dream: Review

Somehow I fell back to sleep and entered into yet another dream scenario. In it I was in a car with one of my ex-boyfriends. I remember being happy to see him and feeling attracted to him, wanting to stay close to him. It was not a sexual attraction, just a desire to be close. We drove to a restaurant with our friends and went to get food from the buffet line. I went with him and watched as he ordered a salad. I ordered fried fish and began to return to the table.

Only I didn’t go to the table, instead I got back in my car and drove back toward my old house along the familiar route I took more times than I can count. I was going very, very fast and feeling pretty happy. I turned the corner and saw a dark haired man on a bicycle in front of me. He was pedaling as fast as I was driving but I was catching up quickly. I swerved and then turned around to avoid him but he turned and followed me. Both of us were extremely thrilled to be flying down the hill.

Then I saw a huge, black semi-truck barreling down the road toward me. I went into the ditch to avoid it and saw it as it flew by. It was so black that I couldn’t make out any identifying features other than the grill on the front. It was like someone had covered it in soot. It was almost imperceptible and I remember thinking it should have its headlights on.

I continued on the road and as I did I began to see images and memories of men who I had been in relationships with. These men, however, were men who had wronged me in some way, who had rejected, cheated or lied to me. There was so much information and memory all at once that it was like a life review of some sort. I remembered being “wronged” by these men and how it felt, how it tore at my heart but how I blocked ever feeling the pain and instead grew angry and resentful of them. I was reminded that I am not impervious to pain; that even if I don’t allow myself to feel and process the pain, that it is there nonetheless and needs to be confronted. I had a full-on memory of a dream encounter with one of my ex’s. The dream in it’s entirety was relived. This particular ex kissed another woman in a bar and told me about it and I ended it straight away. He later emailed me to see if what we had could be rekindled, apologizing for his behavior and leaving an opening for something to develop. I sent him a pic of my family and he got angry and critical saying to me, “Oh you fell for that bullshit” –  meaning the whole get married and have kids scenario. I also remembered the ex who was married and how he was awful with communication, often going weeks without any contact. How he promised things but never fulfilled those promises and then how he expected me to just fall into his arms after months of no contact.

All the time I was re-experiencing these memories I was floating above the road I traveled countless times to my old childhood home and the country home I sold in 2014. I became lucid toward the end of this and told my guides, “I want to go back.” “Back” meaning to the scene at the restaurant. As soon as I said this I saw the scene in front of me shift and the road and surrounding trees morphed into a beautiful green slide that I went down, closing my eyes and allowing the fall to take me where it would.

I found myself in the buffet line again and went and sat down. I sat next to my ex and there was recognition that all the times I had felt an intense attraction or draw to a man that I had been hurt or rejected. This was not to remind me that it would happen again but to remind me of the impact it had on me. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

Then I was very aware of being in my bed and hearing my daughter in the room. I talked to her, telling her it was okay, that she didn’t wake me. I knew I was dreaming but I had this overwhelming exhaustion that made it difficult to take charge of my dream and go OOB. Instead, I just allowed the dream scene and then woke up not long after.

When I woke up I felt 100% better than I did when I had fallen asleep at 5am. I am not sure why that is because the dream itself indicated I have issues with rejection that have not been addressed. The song “The Words” was going through my head again – “And I know, the scariest part is letting go, cause love is a ghost you can’t control….” I am a bit tired of hearing that song. What am I letting go of?

In-Between

Upon waking I felt much more heart centered and there were 12 guides around me. They said, “We are helping you.” I accepted this but there was a lot going through my mind and I kept slipping into the in-between. There was a vision of a cell phone that was completely black except the bottom which flashed 11:11. Then I had a flash of taking a pink hand towel and putting it on a towel rack in the garage. There was a short lucid dream in which I was asked for Tums and I handed the bottle to someone and heard myself say, “Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb…” like in the commercial. Finally, there was a sentence that woke me up completely. A male voice said, “We are rapists of ideology.”  That sentence woke me up. It is still bothering me because of its profundity.

Physically I have been feeling ill/lethargic. I am having digestive/stomach issues, heart pain, throat pain and headaches. Whatever I am clearing is BIG and I hope that it is over soon.

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Totem Visit and Dream

My primary totem animal made a surprise visit last night. My totem is the owl, specifically the Great Horned Owl, but any owl can bring me a message. Last night, after a particularly upsetting conversation with my husband, I was trying to settle into my heart but struggling because the doubt-monger-monster (lol) came to visit me and he was particularly difficult to conquer.

Anyway, my guidance was close and reminding me to focus on what I wanted and to Remember who I am and why I am here. As I began to calm down and reestablish connection with my heart, I heard a very loud hooting outside my window. It was incredibly loud, as if the owl was sitting on a branch right outside my window. I listened for about 5 minutes as two owls had a conversation, or maybe a “hoot-off” would be a better description (lol). They almost seemed to be arguing with one another and I got quite a kick out of it. After a while the hooting stopped as suddenly as it started.

I was surprised to have heard an owl so close. We live in the suburbs of Austin so wildlife is not very close by, though we do get visits by red tailed hawks, opossums and other critters. I think think this is only the second time in almost 3 years that I have had an encounter with an owl. I wish now I had taken a peek outside my window, but likely I wouldn’t have seen him since it was so dark.

These owls came to confirm the message just received by my guidance. They are telling me it is very important to Trust right now and to stay heart centered.

This encounter reminds me of yet another encounter I had completely forgotten about. On Saturday, while visiting my mom and after seeing the moth and butterfly, I witnessed two red tailed hawks in the sky. They appeared almost to be dancing with one another. I watched them for a good 10 minutes diving down very low and then soaring way up high in the sky. They called to each other as they did this. I felt blessed to have witnessed such an extraordinary event.

Dream: Mermaid Queen

I had a very curious dream this morning in which I was with a group of friends on a different planet. I believe it was a lesson/class in which we were discussing the history of this place. I recall seeing quite a bit of gold, gold in the atmosphere and gold in the buildings. We stood next to statues of the great rulers of this place and specifically focused on a Mermaid Queen as we stood beneath a towering, gold statue of a woman holding a staff in her hand. She did indeed have the tail of a fish. I remember mentioning my disbelief that such a woman ever existed. “This is all a myth. It can’t be real” I remember saying. The other rulers were also unbelievable to me. I recall now only that they reminded me of Greek and Roman mythology in their grandness and appearance.

As I shifted scenes in the dream I would seem to enter or become a sparkle of golden lights. It was as if we all dematerialized and then materialized into another scene. Each time I was acutely aware of the light we entered and understood that it was me.

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Dream: Lock Down

I was being led to a room where I was to stay. It resembled a complete apartment, yet it was specifically referred to in the dream as “hotel“.

When inside I immediately began to lock all the windows and doors. It was as if I was trying to protect myself from something, like I was going into lock down. The entire apartment was very clean and white with a yellowish hue in certain areas. I felt safe there.

I prepared to take a shower, gathering up my supplies to include a very large, white towel. As I went to close the door to the bathroom I heard someone talking. I went to investigate and there, sitting on a recliner and dressed from head to toe in white, was a very obese man talking on his cell phone. He was so large that he was too big for the chair, his body seeming to flood over the sides.

I was angry that he was in my space and yelled at him to get off the phone and get out. He looked at me, waved me away, and kept talking on the phone. The feeling from him was of amusement and I felt he was mocking me. I got angry, yelled again for him to “get out!” but he just turned, put his hand over the phone, and said, “I will only be a minute. This is important.” lol

Eventually I gave up and decided that I would just shut him in the room he was in and take my shower. I remember being a bit uncomfortable with being naked and exposed in his presence, even if he was locked in the other room. He was still in MY space and that was uncomfortable for me, yet I was allowing of it. At the same time I was thinking about how lazy and generally sloth-like the man was. I was extremely critical of him and his “faults” and this is why I wanted him OUT of my space.

Reflection

It seems to me that I was dealing with doubt in the first dream, doubts about my own femininity or just doubts in general. There may have been an actual visit to another time/place as well but so much of the dream seemed to vanish upon waking that it is hard to know.

The second dream is quite funny to me. This is the second time I have seen an obese man seemingly mocking me in my dreams. I always get furious, too. Thankfully, seeing an overweight or obese person symbolizes prosperity. Perhaps I am afraid of prosperity; of being happy? This makes sense and explains why I would try and lock the man up in one room and felt exposed in his presence. It does appear that I am getting past this frame of mind and recognizing my tendency to be critical and hard on myself. Perhaps I am ready to accept that I can be happy?

Messages

My guidance had shrunk down to 6 which is the lowest it has been as in some time. What is going on? I was told, “Transition.” It was made known to me that anything is possible and to not limit myself with my beliefs or preconceived notions about what can or cannot be.

I was also reminded to Remember who I am, my purpose/mission, and to not get tangled up in the energies of the situation I find myself in. They said to me, “We have always been, and always will be.” With this there was a sense of greater purpose felt, but specifics were not identifiable.

 

 

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Dream: Fireweed

I got to sleep in until almost 9pm, so nearly 11 hours. I must have needed the sleep. I have been sleeping very deeply and unable, for the most part, to remember my dreams. I was able to remember the last dream, however, and it was quite strange.

Dream: Fireweed

I was in Alaska for some reason and inside a very large, white pick-up truck. I was sitting in the passenger’s seat and a man told me, “Put your hands on the wheel with mine.” I did as I was told, putting my hands on the right side of the steering wheel. I saw his two hands join mine at the “10 and 2” position. He said told me “We” can do this together.

The truck was going very, very fast. As I approached a main highway I saw a man inside a truck waiting for me to turn. He was waving me to go and had a smile on his face. His truck was positioned right in the middle of the two lanes of traffic. Cars were speeding by in both directions. I realized he was telling me it was safe to go and I turned left in front of him and got into the far left lane of traffic and went through the light, which I assume was green, though I never saw it.

Then I was with a group of people and being welcomed into a house. I felt that I had been away a long time, that I knew these people and had visited them before. There was a small dark-haired boy, about the age of 7, who was there. He was unable to walk on his own but was extremely smart and articulate for his age. There were also strange looking dogs with long snouts resembling something from a Sci-Fi movie. Wolf hounds or something like that, which were gray and had strange fur. They were nice, though, and did as they were told.

I went inside the house and greeted my old friends. I recognized my friend Eric Starwalker and he stayed with me most of the dream. I was hungry and thirsty and the women there were offering me food and drink.

Then I was outside on a path with a man. He stopped and said, “I see something. Hold on.” He bent over to pick it up and I said, “It’s a snake skin. That’s the same snake we saw this time last year.” He picked up a snake skin and then rustled around in the leaves and found the snake. It was a vivid red and quite fat, almost looking like a worm except it was way too big for that. We both looked at it in amazement and I noticed it was twice the size it had been last year.

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The boy who couldn’t walk had been set down and was crying to see the snake. I went over and picked him up and let him see it. He was heavy but I liked holding him and wanted to keep holding him. He clung to me like a baby clings to his mom. Something was comforting about having him in my arms.

I carried the boy with me for some time. We went into the house and I sat the boy down.  At some point, my friend Eric and I had a long conversation about marijuana. He asked me how long it had been since I had smoked it and I told him 9 years. We had a long discussion then about the benefits of medicinal plants including marijuana, psilocybin and ayahuasca. I remember asking him if it was bad to include it as part of one’s spiritual practice. He told me it wasn’t bad if used properly.

Then I was sitting next to a man with dark hair who was somehow related to the young boy who I was so attached to. They were playing a game and he was showing me the characters of the game. They were inside a black box lined with a velvety material. The characters were literally characters, Light Codes, and of varying colors, and seemed magnetized to one another. The most prominent color was white but there was also blue and green. I remember wanting one of the blue ones for some reason and being fascinated by the characters. He told me, “I can teach you how to play if you like.” I was willing and felt a deep connection with the man.

I sat behind this dark haired man, very close to him with my legs up next to his. Our feet touched and then our legs and with this contact I could sense his thoughts/feelings. There was a draw here to be close to him then and I wrapped my arms around him from behind and began to kiss and snuggle his neck and shoulders.

There were messages being sent to me at this time in what appeared to be email but it was received in my mind. The message I saw was about Fireweed. It was like an information sheet and I saw the word, “FIREWEED” printed on the top and below it was a poem about the plant and its uses. My first thought was that this was about weed (marijuana) and since the email was from my friend Eric, I accepted the message as an invitation to smoke some with him, which I intended to do. The email background was entirely black and the letters were a crimson and seemed to shimmer as I read them.

Considerations

When I woke my first memory was of the little boy who was unable to walk but who was extremely smart. He liked me and clung to me and I felt very attached to him as if he was my own child. Similarly I was drawn to the dark haired man who was a relative or caretaker of this young boy. I suspect that they are one in the same and that the boy is the inner child of the man, who represented my counterpart.

I then remembered that I recently had a dream where a man had lost both of his legs. I was giving him a mediumship reading in the dream and remember he had lost his legs in battle. I suspect the loss of movement is what is being relayed by both dreams. This dream indicates that this loss of movement stems from childhood, perhaps around the age of 7.

The other interesting part of this dream is the entire discussion about medicinal plants to help one in expanding their awareness. Much of the dream was a discussion of such plants starting with marijuana and expanding to psilocybin and ayahuasca. In the dream I was very wary of using any of them and had directly asked if using them was a good idea. I was told yes and encouraged to explore them again as I had once done (well not ayahuasca). In my research of Fireweed (the Alaska state flower and a plant I am very familiar with since I lived there for over a year), I discovered that Fireweed was once used by early pioneers in ale as an intoxicating beverage that had hallucinatory potential when mixed with another plant. I never knew that! It may also be connected to the “fire” of the Kundanili and this symbolism is supported by the snake which was red and one I had seen before. The snake grew to double its size and there was reference to me finding it last year at this time. I suspect if I were to look through my blog posts from that time period I would find a Kundalini experience and maybe even a snake dream.

There was also encouragement in the dream to “take the wheel” that is my life. It was made very clear that I am not alone by the fact that another set of hands was on the wheel with mine. This message was reinforced by two songs that came to mind upon waking. They are songs I have received before as messages. The first was The Words by Christina Perri. The lyrics I heard were, “And I know, the scariest part is letting go..” The other song was by Counting Crows, A Murder of One. I was reminded of this song recently on my trip back from Tennessee. I had the idea to create a playlist of all the songs my guides have used to pass on messages to me. That song was one of the first used and has been used multiple times over the years. It was used when I lived in Alaska so it is not a surprise that it came up again after a dream of being in Alaska. This morning the specific part was, of course, the “Change, change, change” part. That is typically the message it is used to convey.

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Beckoning: Life Form, Life Tunnel

It has taken me most of the day to remember the guidance I received this morning. I have been preoccupied with writing about my time in Tennessee. You can read what I remembered about my walk-in experience here if you are interested.

Dream: No Identity

Firstly, I had an odd dream. In it I was in a grocery store with unfamiliar people. I was disoriented and somehow lost my purse. I found it at the exit just laying on the floor. Concerned that it may have been snatched and all my valuables stolen, I picked it up and went through it. I found everything in its place despite it obviously being moved around. I remember looking around and feeling watched and unsafe. There were dark men on the sidewalk passing me by and it made me nervous.

While outside sitting on a bench, a stranger came up to me and asked me if I needed a ride home. I didn’t remember where home was and was quite confused. I remember telling the woman this and her telling me she would take care of me.

I got into her white pick-up truck and watched out the window as she drove us to her house, looking at the small country towns we drove through and still wondering where I was. I remember entering the town, even was told the name, but I can’t remember it now.

The woman took me into the house and introduced me to her father. He asked me some questions and by this time I remembered that I had a husband and looked for my phone, which I found. Unfortunately, I had no idea how to contact him or communicate with him. Somehow the father of this woman was able to get my husband on the phone and his response was negative, like I was a nuisance and it irritated him to have to come and get me. Toward the end of the dream I seemed to get more and more confused and disoriented. There was an 18 year old boy, the brother of the woman who helped me. He was especially interested in me and was commenting on my appearance. This woke me up.

Guidance

When I woke up it was 5:45am and I was wide awake. My first thoughts were on the amazing time I had just had in Tennessee and an overwhelming amount of love for my counterpart flooded my heart. I had questions and was asking what was going on with my energy. How had I changed? What was going to happen next? What, if anything, should I do?

I remember shifting into the in-between several times. The information that came to me was that I was heading into “the next stage” of this journey/transformation. I asked what it was and didn’t get an answer that made any sense. My guidance kept saying that I would be taking a “step up” and that he (my counterpart) was there to help me, as I was to help him. Thinking now it could be that we will both be asked to “step up” as part of this next stage.  I asked about how my energy had changed. I sense I am different. I fell into the in-between again around this time and saw a very bright sign with huge yellow letters on it back lit with white light. The sign read:

Beckoning
Life Form
Life Tunnel

This woke me up and I wondered what it meant. I got up to write it down because I realized I was losing most, if not all of the information that was coming through.

My thoughts returned to my counterpart and what was ahead for us. My heart chakra was so lit up with bliss energy that there was no way I could return to sleep.

Right before I got out of bed I began to hear a song in my head and sang along. It was Pat Benatar, “Love is a Battlefield.” I use to love her when I was growing up. 🙂 I hadn’t heard the song in ages. The specific part that was repeating was:

We are young
heartache to heartache we stand
no promises no demands
love is a battlefield
we are strong
no one can tell us we’re wrong
searching our hearts for so long
both of us knowing love is a battlefield

I don’t know if this song as a message is a good one. lol It’s sure making me think I have a battle waiting for me. I like the song, though. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It’s from 1983. 🙂

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Lucid Dream: The God 10 Effect

I woke at 4am after yet another very good, deep sleep. I was wide awake and my guidance was close. As is normal, I tried to get comfortable and found it difficult. Turned to my right. Not quite right. Turned to my left. Not quite right. My guidance interjected at this time and said, “Balance”. I recognized the symbolism straight away. Left – feminine (my preferred side to sleep on). Right – masculine. This is the body, the mind is the opposite of this. Anyway, for a while now I have been most comfortable sleeping on my back and whenever I have an experience – lucid dream, OBE, in-between, Kundalini – I come back to my physical body laying on my back. It occurred to me then that perhaps my shift to sleeping in this position (I have always been a side-sleeper) is more than just body preference. Perhaps it is a reflection of my own inner Shift? From what my guidance was sending, this conclusion seems correct.

From this point a conversation commenced about finding balance and what that looked like on a mental level. I have a tendency to go to extremes one way and then the other. I very rarely sit in the middle, unmoving and solid. The pendulum is always moving and balance is but a moment that passes quickly as I shift to yet another extreme. It was explained that to be in the center and balanced is the goal. This is the location of the Observer.

This conversation was brought about because of my concern at noticing that I have absolutely no excitement regarding my upcoming trip to Tennessee. There is a temptation to cancel it and just stay home and mope. Ha!

Funny enough, I was able to drift into the in-between and then into a lucid dream.

Lucid Dream: The God 10 Effect

I was both watching and being a young woman who was very disconnected from reality and found it difficult to focus on normal life tasks. She was spaced out. She heard a “voice” in her head that kept her on track. He sometimes appeared to her in the form of a very normal looking, clean-cut man with brown hair. She/me was in a department store shopping. She forgot who she was, where she was and what she was doing. The voice directed her to the cashier. She walked up to the cashier who asked her to fill out a slip before check-out and then asked her for her ID and payment. The girl turned and crawled into her car, which was sitting right next to her inside the store. Sitting in the passenger seat she reached into her wallet and saw her driver’s license was missing. In the moment I took over. Recognizing I was dreaming I thought, “This is a dream and I can make the license appear.” It did and I gave it to the cashier with a check written to the amount of $33.33. I saw my license number on the check and thought, “I didn’t need the ID after all.”

While checking out, the car began to slowly creep forward despite being in park. The girl pulled up the emergency brake but the car kept moving. The girl realized it was not going to stop so she jumped into the driver’s seat and put on the brake.

Then the girl took the shirt she bought and began to leave but forgot again who she was and where she was. The voice told her, “There’s your car.” She saw a silver car in the parking lot. It looked like a Ford Flex and the license plate read 333 3333. In the dream I recognized this sign and took note of it but did not take over the dream and continued to observe.

She sat down at a table and the scene shifted. The voice was the man talking to another woman (who was also me). They both sat down to eat lunch and observed the girl sitting alone talking to herself. They thought she was crazy and the girl, recognizing this, pretended to hold a phone and then ended her conversation.

She got up and began to leave and I became very lucid. There was a distinct feeling here that is hard to describe. It was like I had been looking through a screen door and I was finally able to focus and see past the screen to the scene beyond. There was a sense of being in multiple places all at once; of perceiving everything all at once and being able to see the big picture.

The scene shifted and became a television screen. There written clear as day was the title of the show, “The God 10 Effect.” The credits began and I remember saying, “I like this show. I want to watch more.” Then the very last image was the production company and it said, “The X Files”.

 

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Camping Lessons and E.T. Dream Visitation

The full moon camping trip was a success despite not turning out exactly as I had planned. My entire family – husband and three kids – came along and made things very interesting. The different personalities combined to make things very chaotic at times. My daughter was especially dramatic, which isn’t new. I am not sure if it is a Taurus trait or not, but she has a hard time dealing with change of any kind.

Lessons learned:

Make a check-list beforehand. I packed everyone’s stuff into the car and forgot my own stuff -everything I needed for the ceremony, trip, etc. Thankfully the campsite was not far from our house.

Inflatable beds are a must-have.

Do NOT make your first meal after a three day, gluten-free, dairy-free, meat-free cleanse be hot dogs, beans and Fritos. Ha! BAD idea.

Dreams

I don’t know if it was the fact that I was sleeping in a tent or the energy of the full moon, or both, but I did not sleep very much. When I did sleep, I was awakened either by coyotes howling close by, dogs barking at the coyotes, or my middle son sleepwalking and jumping onto my air mattress. lol

When I did sleep I had really crazy dreams and messages from my guidance.

There was an entire dream sequence about my husband and an incident that never happened but in the dream I was convinced it had. In the dream he referenced a specific conversation we had in the past. He mentioned that he knew at that moment that I didn’t love him anymore. We had a long talk in the dream about this past conversation, his realizations and our relationship.

Then there was talk with my guidance about the talk I had with my husband in the dream. The message was clear that I needed to look more closely at my relationship. I had a very resistant feeling to what we were discussing.

As I was waking from this dream I saw a man-sized cockroach and said to my guides, “Really? Really? Please just let me sleep!”

In another dream I was with a group of people that resembled teenagers. They were all dressed in black and had piercings and tattoos. The females of the group, including me, were being prepared to be sent out for work. Plastic wrap was being inserted between the skin and the underwear. I inquired as to why this was and was told it was to protect the skin from contact. I remember thinking we were going to have sexual contact. I laughed about it but the other women were not laughing. Then there was focus on a couple who were always together. The sense was that they were pair bonded.

I was sent to an arena or stadium that was under construction and being rearranged. When I arrived I was told a step was missing and to be careful. I saw a huge hole where the step should have been and was told it was being turned into a walkway that would stretch right across the arena. I turned to see who it was who was telling me this and saw I was surrounded by E.T.s of a race I cannot identify because now in my memory their faces are a complete blur. All I recall is black and gray. I do remember they were wearing uniforms and there was a military feeling. My human mind wants to say they looked like they had on skeleton masks but I know that in reality they were not wearing masks. In the dream I was surprised at their appearance but was not afraid of them despite them being so close to me and completely surrounding me.

When I woke up from this dream it was suddenly and I felt strange. There was a feeling that I am being prepared to work with whoever it was in my dreams. My suspicion is that more E.T. contact is coming.

 

 

 

 

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Dream and Kundalini

Not even 8 hours into my cleanse in preparation for the full moon and I am already having experiences suggestive of what is to come.

Dream: Water Bubble

I woke up at 4am crying. I wasn’t sobbing but it was enough to get my pillow wet. In the dream I had been flying over a mountain looking down. The people had created new banks for the river and it was snaking around the mountain. I recall asking what would happen when it flooded and was told it would be diverted without causing overflow. The river was beautiful and clear.

Then I was at the river and going into it. I watched as a speed boat jumped the small channel that separated the river and the lake it was going into. There was white sand and the water was sparkling and clear. I followed, walking through the shallow water.

Above me was a ride of some sort. People were getting into these bubbles that were completely filled with water. As the water filled up and covered their noses and mouths, a tube would be inserted into their mouth. It was like a respirator. Then off they would go, their little bubble attached to a metal track above, just like a roller coaster. I watched a young girl get in and I tried to talk to her but she motioned that she could not talk. There was upset here. She was frightened and I was trying to help her not be afraid. I felt her emotions and the feeling of the tube in my throat and the inability to speak despite wanting to.

Then I saw someone I knew. She was in a sour mood and I made a joke to try to make her smile. She got very upset with me, though, and another girl came in to intervene, explaining that I loved her and was only trying to help. For some reason, though, the rejection by this girl was very upsetting to me. I felt powerless to change the situation and make her feel better. I felt guilty for saying anything to her in the first place and making her feel bad. The guilt was overpowering. This is when I woke up in tears.

When I woke I knew the dream was about healing, specifically my throat chakra. I could feel my heart in my throat. The emotion was so intense that it felt stuck in my throat. It was a familiar feeling. Every time I get really upset and cry I have the same feeling in my throat.

I could not go back to sleep and lay there for some time with energy in my heart, crown and throat. I was made aware of things in my life which make me feel like the dream did. At one point I felt I needed to lay on my stomach and returned to sleep.

Lucid to OBE: Kundalini 

I entered into a room I had selected out of many. I felt very tired and so laid down on a mat on the floor, stomach down. As I lay there my lucidity began to increase and I became aware of multiple dreams occurring simultaneously.

In one I was talking to someone about my mom’s gray cat. Back in July I had a dream about him. He was injured badly and walking around with skin peeled off his back and hind legs, blood everywhere. I told my mom about it and about a month later she accidentally ran over the cat. In the dream I was talking about how the cat would come visit me to tell me things. This particular message was that my younger sister and my mom had a misunderstanding about something. At the same time I was sitting next to that sister at three computer monitors. Somehow I had logged onto all three and could not log off. It turned out I was controlling all three from one central area.

There was superimposed over this another scene. I was in the jungle somewhere with a group of people. We heard a strangled sort of hoarse crying out. I felt to avoid it and walked away to safety. Then I realized what the sound was. It was a tiger and I knew that had I gone to investigate it would have surely eaten me.

While witnessing these “dreams”, I heard chanting. It was very calm and very relaxing. I liked it. It was familiar somehow. The sound made my entire body warm and vibrate. That’s when my root chakra began to swirl and intensify. My entire lower back was a swirling mass of warm energy. The energy sparked energy in my heart and I could feel the chakras sync up, almost like they were communicating. It was a wonderful feeling, not at all sexual, but very calming and soothing.

Then I heard what sounded like someone going through a bag. I could feel them touch the right side of my head and my right arm. It was feather light and made me curious. The sound was so audible that I recognized instantly that I was OOB.

At the same time I could feel hands on my lower back. The energy was swirling with such intensity by this time that my awareness peaked. I felt guided to calm down. To “allow”, though I did not hear any words. I could feel a guide nearby and assumed he was the one “touching” me.

Eventually, the chakra sensations brought on full lucidity and I could not just lay there without seeing who it was that was above me on my right. I lifted myself up to have a look, but no one was there. The energetic sensations in my root was so strong by this time that there was no “allowing” on my part, though I did focus on my third-eye to avoid putting too much focus on my root.

Then I heard, “That is enough for now” and I came back to my body fully.

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Vivid Dreams

The last couple of nights have been full of dreams. Just last night I had so many I lost count. This post is for documenting some of these dreams for future reference.

Painting

In one dream I was painting a picture of a person. I was filling in a drawing with a skin-like color for the person. I mixed the colors and made the skin darker than my own. I don’t know who I was painting but he/she was definitely tan compared to me. I was receiving instruction on painting and sitting at a round, white table. I remember getting up to toss out my paint water and I tossed it in a sink and the water splattered a bit. A woman advised me to ask permission first. She didn’t see the mess I had made and I felt bad that I had not asked before tossing my water. I went back to my table to paint and put my brush into the water to rinse it. The water turned a vivid yellow when it had been a murky brownish color. I remember thinking that it wouldn’t matter on the painting but then I saw the yellow and thought I had made a mistake.

Shower

I was in a stall that resembled a bathroom stall but it was very obviously a shower stall. My mother-in-law was in the adjacent stall and when I got into the shower she offered me a pretzel. After my shower, I took a pretzel shaped like a handgun from her.

Mammogram

I was in a very modern-like home – all white and clean. My sister was there and she was talking about getting a mammogram. My mom was in this conversation, too. My mom said she had found a lump in her breast and told the doctor who had not seen it. Turned out the lump was benign but the doctor made her go through all kinds up upset to find out the results. The advice was to trust my intuition and to not allow fear to rule my decisions/thoughts. My mom said had she not been afraid of what might have been she would have made the decision to not over analyze the mammogram screen and would never have told the doctor to begin with, saving herself lots of misery.

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Party

At the same house I sat down at a computer my sister had on her lap. It resembled a computer device for a child with bright colors and a bumper around the edge. The name of the user was an “Abd” word. In my mind I was thinking abacus, like for math. I remember thinking that it was a strange name and laughing about it. Now I wonder if it said, Abdicate.

There was a fuss over me in this dream, like there was a celebration or meeting or party specifically for me. I remember seeing people outside the window and knowing I was the reason they had come. I was standing in the room with a mother figure and looked up. I saw a white ceiling fan and where the light should have been was a large bird’s nest. A very tiny, black bird was flying around. It was so cute and I watched it as it seemed to practice flying. I then saw two other tiny birds and then the mother, who was a large, black bird with shiny feathers. I watched them, fascinated and pointed them out to the woman I was with. Then I saw the nest catch fire from underneath. Flames were licking the bottom of the fan and the birds were flying around oblivious to the fire. I thought about how the fire was why they were evacuating the nest. They had to learn to fly or they would be consumed.

I went outside to the party. I remember seeing white tables with people and a wooden porch that was elevated a bit off the ground. I walked up the steps and a group of people saw me and were waving, smiling and heckling me. This was when I realized I was inside a very large costume of some sort. It felt like I had a bubble around me and I could feel the over-sized hands of the suit. One man had laughed at me and I tried to flip him off but the fingers of the suit were so large that I had trouble controlling them. I was able to do it though and everyone, even me, got a good laugh out of it. I remember seeing my ex-father-in-law lounging in the corner with a beer. There was discussion about how well he had done for himself in his life (career-wise). Specifically about how he had managed to make a good living without ever having gone to college. There were several others who had done the same thing. There was mention of how it was time to rest for a job well done.

I remember mentioning the tiny black birds and describing them as baby chickens but with the wings of a bird and all black. Cute like that. I was fascinated still with the birds. They were seemingly immature yet able to fly perfectly. I referred to them as “swallows”.

Short Shopping

I was in a store shopping for shorts. I stood at a rack with some other women looking for my size in a pair of fairly short blue jean shorts. I saw most of the rack were size 5 but I kept looking for size 6. I selected a pair but then saw another I liked and went to it. This pair was a longer, meant for hiking or some kind of outdoor sport because it was that breathable, loose material. I selected a size 6 right away but never put them on.

Symbolism

  • Painting – I need to express my creative side more.
  • Yellow – Fear or inability to make a decision.
  • Shower – purification, renewal, cleansing.
  • Pretzel – preoccupation with a particular issue and indecision on how to handle it. The fact that it is shaped like a gun suggests that I feel my indecision is harmful to me.
  • Mammogram – doubting my own feminine power. Good advice is given here – trust my intuition.
  • Computer – information.
  • Abdicate – Still not sure on the “abd” word. If it is abdicate it means “surrender” or “let go”.
  • Swallow – purity, renewal, never-ending joy and fresh beginnings.
  • Fan – Refers to changes in life, suggestive of calming down after an emotional outpouring.
  • Fire/burning nest – there is a situation that can no longer be avoided.
  • Costume – not being completely honest with myself. Projecting an image to others that is not true of Self.
  • Shorts – ready to reveal more about myself and be more open.
  • Number 6 – relates to problem solving and the need for stability in all areas of life.
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Intensive Healing and Monad Message

So last night was once again a vivid dream night, though no lucid dreams. There were several significant dreams and messages.

Intensive Healing Session

In this dream I had selected a woman to give me healing. She offered it free of charge. I was in a bedroom that reminded me of a hotel. There was low light, a bed, and a bathroom. The woman came in and told me that I needed healing in certain areas. I don’t recall all of them, but I do remember the pelvic region was heavily focused on by the healer. What was odd is that we were both completely naked. There was nothing sexual here, though. I recall watching her and thinking she was beautiful despite her body being slightly flawed (based on American standards of female beauty that is). I do remember her having dark hair and I believe her name was Linda. I believe she is a guide I’ve spent time with in the past.

At one point, we faced each other. We both opened up our legs completely forming a V, then touching our toes together which formed a diamond shape. When this happened, I don’t recall the healing itself as I was transported to a large, dark pool or lake. I could see through the water, though, so the water was clear. I was just swimming in it in the dark I guess. I was under the water at first and panicked, struggling for air. I did not realize I was asleep (non-lucid dream). I could see the surface of the water about a 2 feet over my head but I couldn’t get to it. I remember feeling like my lungs would burst. At some point, though, when they didn’t burst, I must have recognized the pointlessness of my struggle because I looked down below me. Hundreds of feet below me were several people waiting in the depths. They were looking up at me and encouraging. I stopped thinking about getting out of the water. Instead, I decided I needed to go to these people. I swam down to meet them and the scene goes dark.

Then I was laying flat on my back on the bed. The woman healer was over me and explained that I needed to take it easy for some time. I needed to make sure I didn’t overdo it. I got up immediately and began talking about things I needed to do. She gave me this look like, “See, you will overdo it.” I couldn’t just lay there! She explained that all my layers had been realigned and that I needed to wait until they were “set”. It was as if they were still in process of alignment. I saw the layers in front of me like a visual being presented to me. It looked like my aura but it was like a rainbow of blues – indigo, violet, blue, navy, etc. The woman again stressed the importance of rest.

Messages

When I woke up this morning there was remnants of several other dreams, but there is no reason to go into detail on them. I was feeling very hopeless and apathetic again. It is the impatience I have. Things aren’t moving fast enough. It is like I’m in slow motion and life, this drudgery, jut keeps going and going with no end in sight.

I was told at some point (can’t remember when, it all blurs into one memory) about my Soul Family. The word monad kept being brought up. The word moab came up alongside the concept of monads. Anyway, there was a knowing that 12 composed the monad and that these 12 were somehow coalescing now, into One. There was confusion here because it appeared that my 12 guides were also the 12 members of my monad.  Yet with this it also felt as if these 12 were all in physical bodies at this time (but perhaps linear times needs to be thrown out here?). I didn’t quite understand it but in my dreams I was trying to make sense of it because I was explaining it to a woman alongside the I-Ching. When I woke up this message was reiterated.

There was memory of the number 5 appearing and reappearing in my dreams. This number is about healing and well-being.

In another dream there were two individuals with over sized ears. The ears were as large as a hand. The two individuals were mother and daughter. The daughter had just auditioned for the Voice and won a place on the show. My interpretation is that I need to listen, or be acutely aware of something being said to me by my guidance. The Voice may represent my own voice and expression.

I had many flashes of messages as I was in the in-between, also. I saw very clearly my physical counterpart’s name but the first letter was very large. I also saw an entire passage about Walk-In’s, though I was unable to read it. The word “Walk-In” was prominent, though. Both of these came one after the other and were placed as if a billboard in my mind. I heard very audibly my name, but it was like a calm whisper. It was a reminder be patient and Trust.

In my curiosity and need to understand the message about my monad, I came across this article. Though I am not yet finished reading it, I already find it highly resonate of what I have been previously told by my Team.

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Challenging Times Ahead

The whole house slept in longer this morning. I guess the energies are to blame. Even I slept through until 6 when I normally wake up around 5am. There is a geomagnetic storm currently raging.

I woke up crying again. This was a sad, mourning kind of crying but it was not related to anyone’s death. It was more like I felt sad for myself and this life. Like I was mourning the loss of me. My immediate thought was that I am going through a death process. Once again shedding a part of myself that needs to be let go of.

Dream: Total Withdrawal

The dream which initiated the crying was an odd one. I witnessed two individuals discussing my fate. One said to the other, “I think it is time she moves out.” In the dream, I perceived the conversation to be going on between members of my family, so my mom and my cousin. .

I did not argue with the decision and moved where I was told. I was taken to a mobile home situated outside my grandparent’s home. I remember being introduced to another tenant, a man who shifted into a woman after our meeting. There was a brief interaction where the Spanish word, “nombre” was brought up. Why we were speaking in Spanish I don’t know but the man/woman corrected me and assumed I only spoke Spanish. I let it be and left.

On my way to my new home, which was a silver, older model mobile home like one would find in a mobile home park, I thought about how “off” the energy of this place felt to me. It was unnerving and I just wanted to retreat and hide in my new home. I remember seeing there were two other mobile homes identical to mine. There was also a large house where my grandparent’s garage use to be.

I went into my new home and heard a noise like the wind. I noticed the windows above the bed were open. I closed and locked them. There was this music being played that was quite loud. It was like someone had left the radio on. I realized it was coming from the big house. It was like someone had it on a loud speaker and was projecting it.

I went outside and looked at the house because the noise was keeping me from sleeping. I saw a man being ushered into one of the other mobile homes. He was a short, slightly fat man. The mobile home he was going into was like mine. I remember thinking that it was far below my standards and very out of date, likely needing a lot of upkeep.

I had this apathetic feeling wash over me. Everything about this scene was wrong. The energy from the people, the place I was being forced to live, the radio noise, the strangeness of the scene. I decided right then and there I was not going to pay my rent. I remember thinking, “What will they do to me? Kick me out?” I decided to pay my utility bills and just retreat into my home and not come out until I was forced to. I didn’t want to get a job and be in this rat race anymore. What was the point?

When I woke up I was crying but not a lot. I just felt so sad and hopeless about this place I find myself in. I immediately saw the mobile home as this place (Earth). I said to my Companion, “This place is a prison.” He agreed and reminded me that I was here to get out of it. He then reminded me to think positive, to focus on those things which I wanted and to try and stay in my heart. He told me, “These are challenging times.”

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Dream: Holiday

I fell into another dream. In this one I was in a kitchen. It was very small, like the inside of an RV. There was a woman standing in front of the stove. She was cooking eggs. I recognized her as my cousin (not the same one from the previous dream). She said hi and went on with her cooking. The feeling here was that I was not going to get treated like a guest but more like a roommate. I joined her and picked up a pan to make eggs for myself. There was a cracked egg already in the pan but it had something in it, like debris or dirt. I commented on it and she suggested I just pick out the pieces, which I did.

My cousin told me she would be going on vacation soon. She said she was going to a week long spa retreat. I envied her. This conversation was going on while I was taking a shower. I remember wishing I could go with her. I thought about how well off my cousin was. They make over $200k a year and this gave her the freedom to do whatever she wanted whenever. I so wished that I could just go somewhere and be pampered for a full week, to leave behind my worries and responsibilities.

When I woke up from this dream I was again convinced that I wanted no part in this anymore. It is not that I don’t want to live but I no longer want to play the game that society has presented me with. There came with this a strong desire to drop all my possessions and just withdraw completely. There is also a feeling that I am not with the people or in the place I should be. That I should be moving about, like a gypsie. And finally a feeling that I should be with my spiritual family/soul group, specifically my counterpart.