Category Archives: Dreams

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Dream: Fireweed

I got to sleep in until almost 9pm, so nearly 11 hours. I must have needed the sleep. I have been sleeping very deeply and unable, for the most part, to remember my dreams. I was able to remember the last dream, however, and it was quite strange.

Dream: Fireweed

I was in Alaska for some reason and inside a very large, white pick-up truck. I was sitting in the passenger’s seat and a man told me, “Put your hands on the wheel with mine.” I did as I was told, putting my hands on the right side of the steering wheel. I saw his two hands join mine at the “10 and 2” position. He said told me “We” can do this together.

The truck was going very, very fast. As I approached a main highway I saw a man inside a truck waiting for me to turn. He was waving me to go and had a smile on his face. His truck was positioned right in the middle of the two lanes of traffic. Cars were speeding by in both directions. I realized he was telling me it was safe to go and I turned left in front of him and got into the far left lane of traffic and went through the light, which I assume was green, though I never saw it.

Then I was with a group of people and being welcomed into a house. I felt that I had been away a long time, that I knew these people and had visited them before. There was a small dark-haired boy, about the age of 7, who was there. He was unable to walk on his own but was extremely smart and articulate for his age. There were also strange looking dogs with long snouts resembling something from a Sci-Fi movie. Wolf hounds or something like that, which were gray and had strange fur. They were nice, though, and did as they were told.

I went inside the house and greeted my old friends. I recognized my friend Eric Starwalker and he stayed with me most of the dream. I was hungry and thirsty and the women there were offering me food and drink.

Then I was outside on a path with a man. He stopped and said, “I see something. Hold on.” He bent over to pick it up and I said, “It’s a snake skin. That’s the same snake we saw this time last year.” He picked up a snake skin and then rustled around in the leaves and found the snake. It was a vivid red and quite fat, almost looking like a worm except it was way too big for that. We both looked at it in amazement and I noticed it was twice the size it had been last year.

groundsnake-baby

The boy who couldn’t walk had been set down and was crying to see the snake. I went over and picked him up and let him see it. He was heavy but I liked holding him and wanted to keep holding him. He clung to me like a baby clings to his mom. Something was comforting about having him in my arms.

I carried the boy with me for some time. We went into the house and I sat the boy down.  At some point, my friend Eric and I had a long conversation about marijuana. He asked me how long it had been since I had smoked it and I told him 9 years. We had a long discussion then about the benefits of medicinal plants including marijuana, psilocybin and ayahuasca. I remember asking him if it was bad to include it as part of one’s spiritual practice. He told me it wasn’t bad if used properly.

Then I was sitting next to a man with dark hair who was somehow related to the young boy who I was so attached to. They were playing a game and he was showing me the characters of the game. They were inside a black box lined with a velvety material. The characters were literally characters, Light Codes, and of varying colors, and seemed magnetized to one another. The most prominent color was white but there was also blue and green. I remember wanting one of the blue ones for some reason and being fascinated by the characters. He told me, “I can teach you how to play if you like.” I was willing and felt a deep connection with the man.

I sat behind this dark haired man, very close to him with my legs up next to his. Our feet touched and then our legs and with this contact I could sense his thoughts/feelings. There was a draw here to be close to him then and I wrapped my arms around him from behind and began to kiss and snuggle his neck and shoulders.

There were messages being sent to me at this time in what appeared to be email but it was received in my mind. The message I saw was about Fireweed. It was like an information sheet and I saw the word, “FIREWEED” printed on the top and below it was a poem about the plant and its uses. My first thought was that this was about weed (marijuana) and since the email was from my friend Eric, I accepted the message as an invitation to smoke some with him, which I intended to do. The email background was entirely black and the letters were a crimson and seemed to shimmer as I read them.

Considerations

When I woke my first memory was of the little boy who was unable to walk but who was extremely smart. He liked me and clung to me and I felt very attached to him as if he was my own child. Similarly I was drawn to the dark haired man who was a relative or caretaker of this young boy. I suspect that they are one in the same and that the boy is the inner child of the man, who represented my counterpart.

I then remembered that I recently had a dream where a man had lost both of his legs. I was giving him a mediumship reading in the dream and remember he had lost his legs in battle. I suspect the loss of movement is what is being relayed by both dreams. This dream indicates that this loss of movement stems from childhood, perhaps around the age of 7.

The other interesting part of this dream is the entire discussion about medicinal plants to help one in expanding their awareness. Much of the dream was a discussion of such plants starting with marijuana and expanding to psilocybin and ayahuasca. In the dream I was very wary of using any of them and had directly asked if using them was a good idea. I was told yes and encouraged to explore them again as I had once done (well not ayahuasca). In my research of Fireweed (the Alaska state flower and a plant I am very familiar with since I lived there for over a year), I discovered that Fireweed was once used by early pioneers in ale as an intoxicating beverage that had hallucinatory potential when mixed with another plant. I never knew that! It may also be connected to the “fire” of the Kundanili and this symbolism is supported by the snake which was red and one I had seen before. The snake grew to double its size and there was reference to me finding it last year at this time. I suspect if I were to look through my blog posts from that time period I would find a Kundalini experience and maybe even a snake dream.

There was also encouragement in the dream to “take the wheel” that is my life. It was made very clear that I am not alone by the fact that another set of hands was on the wheel with mine. This message was reinforced by two songs that came to mind upon waking. They are songs I have received before as messages. The first was The Words by Christina Perri. The lyrics I heard were, “And I know, the scariest part is letting go..” The other song was by Counting Crows, A Murder of One. I was reminded of this song recently on my trip back from Tennessee. I had the idea to create a playlist of all the songs my guides have used to pass on messages to me. That song was one of the first used and has been used multiple times over the years. It was used when I lived in Alaska so it is not a surprise that it came up again after a dream of being in Alaska. This morning the specific part was, of course, the “Change, change, change” part. That is typically the message it is used to convey.

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Beckoning: Life Form, Life Tunnel

It has taken me most of the day to remember the guidance I received this morning. I have been preoccupied with writing about my time in Tennessee. You can read what I remembered about my walk-in experience here if you are interested.

Dream: No Identity

Firstly, I had an odd dream. In it I was in a grocery store with unfamiliar people. I was disoriented and somehow lost my purse. I found it at the exit just laying on the floor. Concerned that it may have been snatched and all my valuables stolen, I picked it up and went through it. I found everything in its place despite it obviously being moved around. I remember looking around and feeling watched and unsafe. There were dark men on the sidewalk passing me by and it made me nervous.

While outside sitting on a bench, a stranger came up to me and asked me if I needed a ride home. I didn’t remember where home was and was quite confused. I remember telling the woman this and her telling me she would take care of me.

I got into her white pick-up truck and watched out the window as she drove us to her house, looking at the small country towns we drove through and still wondering where I was. I remember entering the town, even was told the name, but I can’t remember it now.

The woman took me into the house and introduced me to her father. He asked me some questions and by this time I remembered that I had a husband and looked for my phone, which I found. Unfortunately, I had no idea how to contact him or communicate with him. Somehow the father of this woman was able to get my husband on the phone and his response was negative, like I was a nuisance and it irritated him to have to come and get me. Toward the end of the dream I seemed to get more and more confused and disoriented. There was an 18 year old boy, the brother of the woman who helped me. He was especially interested in me and was commenting on my appearance. This woke me up.

Guidance

When I woke up it was 5:45am and I was wide awake. My first thoughts were on the amazing time I had just had in Tennessee and an overwhelming amount of love for my counterpart flooded my heart. I had questions and was asking what was going on with my energy. How had I changed? What was going to happen next? What, if anything, should I do?

I remember shifting into the in-between several times. The information that came to me was that I was heading into “the next stage” of this journey/transformation. I asked what it was and didn’t get an answer that made any sense. My guidance kept saying that I would be taking a “step up” and that he (my counterpart) was there to help me, as I was to help him. Thinking now it could be that we will both be asked to “step up” as part of this next stage.  I asked about how my energy had changed. I sense I am different. I fell into the in-between again around this time and saw a very bright sign with huge yellow letters on it back lit with white light. The sign read:

Beckoning
Life Form
Life Tunnel

This woke me up and I wondered what it meant. I got up to write it down because I realized I was losing most, if not all of the information that was coming through.

My thoughts returned to my counterpart and what was ahead for us. My heart chakra was so lit up with bliss energy that there was no way I could return to sleep.

Right before I got out of bed I began to hear a song in my head and sang along. It was Pat Benatar, “Love is a Battlefield.” I use to love her when I was growing up. 🙂 I hadn’t heard the song in ages. The specific part that was repeating was:

We are young
heartache to heartache we stand
no promises no demands
love is a battlefield
we are strong
no one can tell us we’re wrong
searching our hearts for so long
both of us knowing love is a battlefield

I don’t know if this song as a message is a good one. lol It’s sure making me think I have a battle waiting for me. I like the song, though. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It’s from 1983. 🙂

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Lucid Dream: The God 10 Effect

I woke at 4am after yet another very good, deep sleep. I was wide awake and my guidance was close. As is normal, I tried to get comfortable and found it difficult. Turned to my right. Not quite right. Turned to my left. Not quite right. My guidance interjected at this time and said, “Balance”. I recognized the symbolism straight away. Left – feminine (my preferred side to sleep on). Right – masculine. This is the body, the mind is the opposite of this. Anyway, for a while now I have been most comfortable sleeping on my back and whenever I have an experience – lucid dream, OBE, in-between, Kundalini – I come back to my physical body laying on my back. It occurred to me then that perhaps my shift to sleeping in this position (I have always been a side-sleeper) is more than just body preference. Perhaps it is a reflection of my own inner Shift? From what my guidance was sending, this conclusion seems correct.

From this point a conversation commenced about finding balance and what that looked like on a mental level. I have a tendency to go to extremes one way and then the other. I very rarely sit in the middle, unmoving and solid. The pendulum is always moving and balance is but a moment that passes quickly as I shift to yet another extreme. It was explained that to be in the center and balanced is the goal. This is the location of the Observer.

This conversation was brought about because of my concern at noticing that I have absolutely no excitement regarding my upcoming trip to Tennessee. There is a temptation to cancel it and just stay home and mope. Ha!

Funny enough, I was able to drift into the in-between and then into a lucid dream.

Lucid Dream: The God 10 Effect

I was both watching and being a young woman who was very disconnected from reality and found it difficult to focus on normal life tasks. She was spaced out. She heard a “voice” in her head that kept her on track. He sometimes appeared to her in the form of a very normal looking, clean-cut man with brown hair. She/me was in a department store shopping. She forgot who she was, where she was and what she was doing. The voice directed her to the cashier. She walked up to the cashier who asked her to fill out a slip before check-out and then asked her for her ID and payment. The girl turned and crawled into her car, which was sitting right next to her inside the store. Sitting in the passenger seat she reached into her wallet and saw her driver’s license was missing. In the moment I took over. Recognizing I was dreaming I thought, “This is a dream and I can make the license appear.” It did and I gave it to the cashier with a check written to the amount of $33.33. I saw my license number on the check and thought, “I didn’t need the ID after all.”

While checking out, the car began to slowly creep forward despite being in park. The girl pulled up the emergency brake but the car kept moving. The girl realized it was not going to stop so she jumped into the driver’s seat and put on the brake.

Then the girl took the shirt she bought and began to leave but forgot again who she was and where she was. The voice told her, “There’s your car.” She saw a silver car in the parking lot. It looked like a Ford Flex and the license plate read 333 3333. In the dream I recognized this sign and took note of it but did not take over the dream and continued to observe.

She sat down at a table and the scene shifted. The voice was the man talking to another woman (who was also me). They both sat down to eat lunch and observed the girl sitting alone talking to herself. They thought she was crazy and the girl, recognizing this, pretended to hold a phone and then ended her conversation.

She got up and began to leave and I became very lucid. There was a distinct feeling here that is hard to describe. It was like I had been looking through a screen door and I was finally able to focus and see past the screen to the scene beyond. There was a sense of being in multiple places all at once; of perceiving everything all at once and being able to see the big picture.

The scene shifted and became a television screen. There written clear as day was the title of the show, “The God 10 Effect.” The credits began and I remember saying, “I like this show. I want to watch more.” Then the very last image was the production company and it said, “The X Files”.

 

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Camping Lessons and E.T. Dream Visitation

The full moon camping trip was a success despite not turning out exactly as I had planned. My entire family – husband and three kids – came along and made things very interesting. The different personalities combined to make things very chaotic at times. My daughter was especially dramatic, which isn’t new. I am not sure if it is a Taurus trait or not, but she has a hard time dealing with change of any kind.

Lessons learned:

Make a check-list beforehand. I packed everyone’s stuff into the car and forgot my own stuff -everything I needed for the ceremony, trip, etc. Thankfully the campsite was not far from our house.

Inflatable beds are a must-have.

Do NOT make your first meal after a three day, gluten-free, dairy-free, meat-free cleanse be hot dogs, beans and Fritos. Ha! BAD idea.

Dreams

I don’t know if it was the fact that I was sleeping in a tent or the energy of the full moon, or both, but I did not sleep very much. When I did sleep, I was awakened either by coyotes howling close by, dogs barking at the coyotes, or my middle son sleepwalking and jumping onto my air mattress. lol

When I did sleep I had really crazy dreams and messages from my guidance.

There was an entire dream sequence about my husband and an incident that never happened but in the dream I was convinced it had. In the dream he referenced a specific conversation we had in the past. He mentioned that he knew at that moment that I didn’t love him anymore. We had a long talk in the dream about this past conversation, his realizations and our relationship.

Then there was talk with my guidance about the talk I had with my husband in the dream. The message was clear that I needed to look more closely at my relationship. I had a very resistant feeling to what we were discussing.

As I was waking from this dream I saw a man-sized cockroach and said to my guides, “Really? Really? Please just let me sleep!”

In another dream I was with a group of people that resembled teenagers. They were all dressed in black and had piercings and tattoos. The females of the group, including me, were being prepared to be sent out for work. Plastic wrap was being inserted between the skin and the underwear. I inquired as to why this was and was told it was to protect the skin from contact. I remember thinking we were going to have sexual contact. I laughed about it but the other women were not laughing. Then there was focus on a couple who were always together. The sense was that they were pair bonded.

I was sent to an arena or stadium that was under construction and being rearranged. When I arrived I was told a step was missing and to be careful. I saw a huge hole where the step should have been and was told it was being turned into a walkway that would stretch right across the arena. I turned to see who it was who was telling me this and saw I was surrounded by E.T.s of a race I cannot identify because now in my memory their faces are a complete blur. All I recall is black and gray. I do remember they were wearing uniforms and there was a military feeling. My human mind wants to say they looked like they had on skeleton masks but I know that in reality they were not wearing masks. In the dream I was surprised at their appearance but was not afraid of them despite them being so close to me and completely surrounding me.

When I woke up from this dream it was suddenly and I felt strange. There was a feeling that I am being prepared to work with whoever it was in my dreams. My suspicion is that more E.T. contact is coming.

 

 

 

 

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Dream and Kundalini

Not even 8 hours into my cleanse in preparation for the full moon and I am already having experiences suggestive of what is to come.

Dream: Water Bubble

I woke up at 4am crying. I wasn’t sobbing but it was enough to get my pillow wet. In the dream I had been flying over a mountain looking down. The people had created new banks for the river and it was snaking around the mountain. I recall asking what would happen when it flooded and was told it would be diverted without causing overflow. The river was beautiful and clear.

Then I was at the river and going into it. I watched as a speed boat jumped the small channel that separated the river and the lake it was going into. There was white sand and the water was sparkling and clear. I followed, walking through the shallow water.

Above me was a ride of some sort. People were getting into these bubbles that were completely filled with water. As the water filled up and covered their noses and mouths, a tube would be inserted into their mouth. It was like a respirator. Then off they would go, their little bubble attached to a metal track above, just like a roller coaster. I watched a young girl get in and I tried to talk to her but she motioned that she could not talk. There was upset here. She was frightened and I was trying to help her not be afraid. I felt her emotions and the feeling of the tube in my throat and the inability to speak despite wanting to.

Then I saw someone I knew. She was in a sour mood and I made a joke to try to make her smile. She got very upset with me, though, and another girl came in to intervene, explaining that I loved her and was only trying to help. For some reason, though, the rejection by this girl was very upsetting to me. I felt powerless to change the situation and make her feel better. I felt guilty for saying anything to her in the first place and making her feel bad. The guilt was overpowering. This is when I woke up in tears.

When I woke I knew the dream was about healing, specifically my throat chakra. I could feel my heart in my throat. The emotion was so intense that it felt stuck in my throat. It was a familiar feeling. Every time I get really upset and cry I have the same feeling in my throat.

I could not go back to sleep and lay there for some time with energy in my heart, crown and throat. I was made aware of things in my life which make me feel like the dream did. At one point I felt I needed to lay on my stomach and returned to sleep.

Lucid to OBE: Kundalini 

I entered into a room I had selected out of many. I felt very tired and so laid down on a mat on the floor, stomach down. As I lay there my lucidity began to increase and I became aware of multiple dreams occurring simultaneously.

In one I was talking to someone about my mom’s gray cat. Back in July I had a dream about him. He was injured badly and walking around with skin peeled off his back and hind legs, blood everywhere. I told my mom about it and about a month later she accidentally ran over the cat. In the dream I was talking about how the cat would come visit me to tell me things. This particular message was that my younger sister and my mom had a misunderstanding about something. At the same time I was sitting next to that sister at three computer monitors. Somehow I had logged onto all three and could not log off. It turned out I was controlling all three from one central area.

There was superimposed over this another scene. I was in the jungle somewhere with a group of people. We heard a strangled sort of hoarse crying out. I felt to avoid it and walked away to safety. Then I realized what the sound was. It was a tiger and I knew that had I gone to investigate it would have surely eaten me.

While witnessing these “dreams”, I heard chanting. It was very calm and very relaxing. I liked it. It was familiar somehow. The sound made my entire body warm and vibrate. That’s when my root chakra began to swirl and intensify. My entire lower back was a swirling mass of warm energy. The energy sparked energy in my heart and I could feel the chakras sync up, almost like they were communicating. It was a wonderful feeling, not at all sexual, but very calming and soothing.

Then I heard what sounded like someone going through a bag. I could feel them touch the right side of my head and my right arm. It was feather light and made me curious. The sound was so audible that I recognized instantly that I was OOB.

At the same time I could feel hands on my lower back. The energy was swirling with such intensity by this time that my awareness peaked. I felt guided to calm down. To “allow”, though I did not hear any words. I could feel a guide nearby and assumed he was the one “touching” me.

Eventually, the chakra sensations brought on full lucidity and I could not just lay there without seeing who it was that was above me on my right. I lifted myself up to have a look, but no one was there. The energetic sensations in my root was so strong by this time that there was no “allowing” on my part, though I did focus on my third-eye to avoid putting too much focus on my root.

Then I heard, “That is enough for now” and I came back to my body fully.

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Vivid Dreams

The last couple of nights have been full of dreams. Just last night I had so many I lost count. This post is for documenting some of these dreams for future reference.

Painting

In one dream I was painting a picture of a person. I was filling in a drawing with a skin-like color for the person. I mixed the colors and made the skin darker than my own. I don’t know who I was painting but he/she was definitely tan compared to me. I was receiving instruction on painting and sitting at a round, white table. I remember getting up to toss out my paint water and I tossed it in a sink and the water splattered a bit. A woman advised me to ask permission first. She didn’t see the mess I had made and I felt bad that I had not asked before tossing my water. I went back to my table to paint and put my brush into the water to rinse it. The water turned a vivid yellow when it had been a murky brownish color. I remember thinking that it wouldn’t matter on the painting but then I saw the yellow and thought I had made a mistake.

Shower

I was in a stall that resembled a bathroom stall but it was very obviously a shower stall. My mother-in-law was in the adjacent stall and when I got into the shower she offered me a pretzel. After my shower, I took a pretzel shaped like a handgun from her.

Mammogram

I was in a very modern-like home – all white and clean. My sister was there and she was talking about getting a mammogram. My mom was in this conversation, too. My mom said she had found a lump in her breast and told the doctor who had not seen it. Turned out the lump was benign but the doctor made her go through all kinds up upset to find out the results. The advice was to trust my intuition and to not allow fear to rule my decisions/thoughts. My mom said had she not been afraid of what might have been she would have made the decision to not over analyze the mammogram screen and would never have told the doctor to begin with, saving herself lots of misery.

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Party

At the same house I sat down at a computer my sister had on her lap. It resembled a computer device for a child with bright colors and a bumper around the edge. The name of the user was an “Abd” word. In my mind I was thinking abacus, like for math. I remember thinking that it was a strange name and laughing about it. Now I wonder if it said, Abdicate.

There was a fuss over me in this dream, like there was a celebration or meeting or party specifically for me. I remember seeing people outside the window and knowing I was the reason they had come. I was standing in the room with a mother figure and looked up. I saw a white ceiling fan and where the light should have been was a large bird’s nest. A very tiny, black bird was flying around. It was so cute and I watched it as it seemed to practice flying. I then saw two other tiny birds and then the mother, who was a large, black bird with shiny feathers. I watched them, fascinated and pointed them out to the woman I was with. Then I saw the nest catch fire from underneath. Flames were licking the bottom of the fan and the birds were flying around oblivious to the fire. I thought about how the fire was why they were evacuating the nest. They had to learn to fly or they would be consumed.

I went outside to the party. I remember seeing white tables with people and a wooden porch that was elevated a bit off the ground. I walked up the steps and a group of people saw me and were waving, smiling and heckling me. This was when I realized I was inside a very large costume of some sort. It felt like I had a bubble around me and I could feel the over-sized hands of the suit. One man had laughed at me and I tried to flip him off but the fingers of the suit were so large that I had trouble controlling them. I was able to do it though and everyone, even me, got a good laugh out of it. I remember seeing my ex-father-in-law lounging in the corner with a beer. There was discussion about how well he had done for himself in his life (career-wise). Specifically about how he had managed to make a good living without ever having gone to college. There were several others who had done the same thing. There was mention of how it was time to rest for a job well done.

I remember mentioning the tiny black birds and describing them as baby chickens but with the wings of a bird and all black. Cute like that. I was fascinated still with the birds. They were seemingly immature yet able to fly perfectly. I referred to them as “swallows”.

Short Shopping

I was in a store shopping for shorts. I stood at a rack with some other women looking for my size in a pair of fairly short blue jean shorts. I saw most of the rack were size 5 but I kept looking for size 6. I selected a pair but then saw another I liked and went to it. This pair was a longer, meant for hiking or some kind of outdoor sport because it was that breathable, loose material. I selected a size 6 right away but never put them on.

Symbolism

  • Painting – I need to express my creative side more.
  • Yellow – Fear or inability to make a decision.
  • Shower – purification, renewal, cleansing.
  • Pretzel – preoccupation with a particular issue and indecision on how to handle it. The fact that it is shaped like a gun suggests that I feel my indecision is harmful to me.
  • Mammogram – doubting my own feminine power. Good advice is given here – trust my intuition.
  • Computer – information.
  • Abdicate – Still not sure on the “abd” word. If it is abdicate it means “surrender” or “let go”.
  • Swallow – purity, renewal, never-ending joy and fresh beginnings.
  • Fan – Refers to changes in life, suggestive of calming down after an emotional outpouring.
  • Fire/burning nest – there is a situation that can no longer be avoided.
  • Costume – not being completely honest with myself. Projecting an image to others that is not true of Self.
  • Shorts – ready to reveal more about myself and be more open.
  • Number 6 – relates to problem solving and the need for stability in all areas of life.
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Intensive Healing and Monad Message

So last night was once again a vivid dream night, though no lucid dreams. There were several significant dreams and messages.

Intensive Healing Session

In this dream I had selected a woman to give me healing. She offered it free of charge. I was in a bedroom that reminded me of a hotel. There was low light, a bed, and a bathroom. The woman came in and told me that I needed healing in certain areas. I don’t recall all of them, but I do remember the pelvic region was heavily focused on by the healer. What was odd is that we were both completely naked. There was nothing sexual here, though. I recall watching her and thinking she was beautiful despite her body being slightly flawed (based on American standards of female beauty that is). I do remember her having dark hair and I believe her name was Linda. I believe she is a guide I’ve spent time with in the past.

At one point, we faced each other. We both opened up our legs completely forming a V, then touching our toes together which formed a diamond shape. When this happened, I don’t recall the healing itself as I was transported to a large, dark pool or lake. I could see through the water, though, so the water was clear. I was just swimming in it in the dark I guess. I was under the water at first and panicked, struggling for air. I did not realize I was asleep (non-lucid dream). I could see the surface of the water about a 2 feet over my head but I couldn’t get to it. I remember feeling like my lungs would burst. At some point, though, when they didn’t burst, I must have recognized the pointlessness of my struggle because I looked down below me. Hundreds of feet below me were several people waiting in the depths. They were looking up at me and encouraging. I stopped thinking about getting out of the water. Instead, I decided I needed to go to these people. I swam down to meet them and the scene goes dark.

Then I was laying flat on my back on the bed. The woman healer was over me and explained that I needed to take it easy for some time. I needed to make sure I didn’t overdo it. I got up immediately and began talking about things I needed to do. She gave me this look like, “See, you will overdo it.” I couldn’t just lay there! She explained that all my layers had been realigned and that I needed to wait until they were “set”. It was as if they were still in process of alignment. I saw the layers in front of me like a visual being presented to me. It looked like my aura but it was like a rainbow of blues – indigo, violet, blue, navy, etc. The woman again stressed the importance of rest.

Messages

When I woke up this morning there was remnants of several other dreams, but there is no reason to go into detail on them. I was feeling very hopeless and apathetic again. It is the impatience I have. Things aren’t moving fast enough. It is like I’m in slow motion and life, this drudgery, jut keeps going and going with no end in sight.

I was told at some point (can’t remember when, it all blurs into one memory) about my Soul Family. The word monad kept being brought up. The word moab came up alongside the concept of monads. Anyway, there was a knowing that 12 composed the monad and that these 12 were somehow coalescing now, into One. There was confusion here because it appeared that my 12 guides were also the 12 members of my monad.  Yet with this it also felt as if these 12 were all in physical bodies at this time (but perhaps linear times needs to be thrown out here?). I didn’t quite understand it but in my dreams I was trying to make sense of it because I was explaining it to a woman alongside the I-Ching. When I woke up this message was reiterated.

There was memory of the number 5 appearing and reappearing in my dreams. This number is about healing and well-being.

In another dream there were two individuals with over sized ears. The ears were as large as a hand. The two individuals were mother and daughter. The daughter had just auditioned for the Voice and won a place on the show. My interpretation is that I need to listen, or be acutely aware of something being said to me by my guidance. The Voice may represent my own voice and expression.

I had many flashes of messages as I was in the in-between, also. I saw very clearly my physical counterpart’s name but the first letter was very large. I also saw an entire passage about Walk-In’s, though I was unable to read it. The word “Walk-In” was prominent, though. Both of these came one after the other and were placed as if a billboard in my mind. I heard very audibly my name, but it was like a calm whisper. It was a reminder be patient and Trust.

In my curiosity and need to understand the message about my monad, I came across this article. Though I am not yet finished reading it, I already find it highly resonate of what I have been previously told by my Team.

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Challenging Times Ahead

The whole house slept in longer this morning. I guess the energies are to blame. Even I slept through until 6 when I normally wake up around 5am. There is a geomagnetic storm currently raging.

I woke up crying again. This was a sad, mourning kind of crying but it was not related to anyone’s death. It was more like I felt sad for myself and this life. Like I was mourning the loss of me. My immediate thought was that I am going through a death process. Once again shedding a part of myself that needs to be let go of.

Dream: Total Withdrawal

The dream which initiated the crying was an odd one. I witnessed two individuals discussing my fate. One said to the other, “I think it is time she moves out.” In the dream, I perceived the conversation to be going on between members of my family, so my mom and my cousin. .

I did not argue with the decision and moved where I was told. I was taken to a mobile home situated outside my grandparent’s home. I remember being introduced to another tenant, a man who shifted into a woman after our meeting. There was a brief interaction where the Spanish word, “nombre” was brought up. Why we were speaking in Spanish I don’t know but the man/woman corrected me and assumed I only spoke Spanish. I let it be and left.

On my way to my new home, which was a silver, older model mobile home like one would find in a mobile home park, I thought about how “off” the energy of this place felt to me. It was unnerving and I just wanted to retreat and hide in my new home. I remember seeing there were two other mobile homes identical to mine. There was also a large house where my grandparent’s garage use to be.

I went into my new home and heard a noise like the wind. I noticed the windows above the bed were open. I closed and locked them. There was this music being played that was quite loud. It was like someone had left the radio on. I realized it was coming from the big house. It was like someone had it on a loud speaker and was projecting it.

I went outside and looked at the house because the noise was keeping me from sleeping. I saw a man being ushered into one of the other mobile homes. He was a short, slightly fat man. The mobile home he was going into was like mine. I remember thinking that it was far below my standards and very out of date, likely needing a lot of upkeep.

I had this apathetic feeling wash over me. Everything about this scene was wrong. The energy from the people, the place I was being forced to live, the radio noise, the strangeness of the scene. I decided right then and there I was not going to pay my rent. I remember thinking, “What will they do to me? Kick me out?” I decided to pay my utility bills and just retreat into my home and not come out until I was forced to. I didn’t want to get a job and be in this rat race anymore. What was the point?

When I woke up I was crying but not a lot. I just felt so sad and hopeless about this place I find myself in. I immediately saw the mobile home as this place (Earth). I said to my Companion, “This place is a prison.” He agreed and reminded me that I was here to get out of it. He then reminded me to think positive, to focus on those things which I wanted and to try and stay in my heart. He told me, “These are challenging times.”

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Dream: Holiday

I fell into another dream. In this one I was in a kitchen. It was very small, like the inside of an RV. There was a woman standing in front of the stove. She was cooking eggs. I recognized her as my cousin (not the same one from the previous dream). She said hi and went on with her cooking. The feeling here was that I was not going to get treated like a guest but more like a roommate. I joined her and picked up a pan to make eggs for myself. There was a cracked egg already in the pan but it had something in it, like debris or dirt. I commented on it and she suggested I just pick out the pieces, which I did.

My cousin told me she would be going on vacation soon. She said she was going to a week long spa retreat. I envied her. This conversation was going on while I was taking a shower. I remember wishing I could go with her. I thought about how well off my cousin was. They make over $200k a year and this gave her the freedom to do whatever she wanted whenever. I so wished that I could just go somewhere and be pampered for a full week, to leave behind my worries and responsibilities.

When I woke up from this dream I was again convinced that I wanted no part in this anymore. It is not that I don’t want to live but I no longer want to play the game that society has presented me with. There came with this a strong desire to drop all my possessions and just withdraw completely. There is also a feeling that I am not with the people or in the place I should be. That I should be moving about, like a gypsie. And finally a feeling that I should be with my spiritual family/soul group, specifically my counterpart.

 

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Lucid Dream: The Giggles

For some reason I have been having tons of lucid dreams. I had two the night before last and then one last night as well along with quite a few semi-lucid dreams.

Lucid Dream: The Giggles

I was in a classroom adjacent to another classroom. I went next door and spoke to the teacher there. He reminded me of someone I know online, but his energy was that of my counterpart. There was conversation about weight lifting at this time. He was lifting 5lb plates and trying to get in shape. I remember telling him that I thought he could lift more than that. He joked that I was trying to coach him so that I could get him to look like I wanted him. There was a feeling here that he and my team of guides were teasing me about my exercise routine. There was most definitely a feeling from this teacher friend that he was romantically interested in me. I remember thinking it inappropriate because I was married. My consideration obviously amused him.

At this point a woman began to sing and I looked around the room for something to accompany her with. I saw two drums in the room and a large gong. I thought about playing them and then decided against it for some reason, yet I could hear the drums very distinctly as if someone was playing them. I mentioned the gong to the teacher and he said it would not have been a good idea. I said to him, “Yeah, they are loud. My mom had one.” I realized after that had I hit the gong it would have made me too lucid.

Then I was talking to a Hispanic woman and she was discussing the after-effects of pregnancy. She was laughing and joking about giving birth, even pretending to push out a baby. Then she joked about the double tummy that was left behind and even showed me hers which was quite large with massive stretch marks. She did have a tummy under a tummy, too. She asked me if I had this after pregnancy and I told her no but we joked about it.

This is when the man came back into the room. He asked what we were laughing about and the woman made a joke to him about male childbirth that I can’t remember now. He thought it was funny, though. I believe it was about ejaculation because after the comment I had a can of whipping cream and was spraying him in the face with it. It hit him in the eye and I burst out laughing. Then I put it all around his neck. Something about this was extremely funny to me because I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. It was a deep belly laugh that felt wonderful.

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Conversation

I woke up laughing hard. My heart chakra was warm and expansive and I felt relaxed and happy. I immediately thanked my Companion because he had done what I asked him to do – meet me in my dreams.

Afterwards we talked for a bit. I felt so much love for him, like we were old friends and reconnecting. All the dark, angry, confused feelings I had been having vanished and I felt comfortable and happy. There was also a return to wanting to be with him; to come into Union. He commented that what I was feeling was my True Self, that with him I was free to be me.

The connection with him fired up the Kundalini briefly. My heart was an expanse of warmth and there would be occasional shots of energy from my heart straight to my root and then back up again. My resistance toward the experience completely melted away.

This dream experience is a great example of the relationship I have with my Companion (spiritual counterpart) and team of guides. There is a lot of playful energy between us and an eternal love and peace. The entire lucid experience was of my group making fun of my very human considerations. Thankfully, I saw the humor in it as well.

Dream: Anything for Love

I managed to fall back to sleep despite the Kundalini activity. The dream I ended up in was semi-lucid. I was with a man who owned a red Ferrari. I remember looking at it, opening the doors which opened up over our heads. The man in the dream was wearing armor. I remember he looked huge, like some kind of action hero. I can’t remember his face very well, but I think there was brown hair.

He took me for a ride in his Ferrari and as he drove he kept taking out this bottle filled with a bright orange liquid. He would fill the cap with the liquid and drink it like he was drinking liquor and he would close his eyes like he was getting high. I watched him do this and finally asked him what it was he was drinking. I remember thinking he must be a drug addict. I also knew we were a couple and had been for a while and I had resisted asking him about this strange, orange elixir.

He pulled up to a house and took another swig of the stuff. I felt uncomfortable and told him we should not park there because someone would wonder why we were there. But he was out of it. A man came out of the house. He was dressed in black. When I saw him, I jumped out of the car and had this huge shotgun. I shot the man dead before he could alert anyone to our being there. I was shocked that I had done this but felt I would do it again in a heartbeat for him (my partner). That is when I noticed the car to our right was a long, black hearse. There was a man standing there looking at me in shock. I realized then that I was wearing a police uniform and so was my partner sitting in the car.

My partner and I ran from the car and into a field near a school. A blonde woman saw us and showed us to a large, multi-storied house. We went inside and I realized it was a safehouse.  I felt like a criminal for some reason.

Then we were down by the car preparing to leave and ran into three more police officers. I was scared they would recognize me and arrest me, but they were friendly and helpful. My partner and I spoke to them for a while about art and he was showing them paintings that we had done. I recall seeing a painting I had done of him. It was very detailed. He was naked and laying down. All I remember now is his chest and face. He was very handsome but again not anyone I recognized. There was also a sketch in pencil of the two of us laying in bed naked, our bodies intertwined. We were holding hands over the top of both of our heads. The feeling from it was beautiful. I recognized myself in the sketch but his face was hidden. The main image I recall is us holding hands and the feeling here was of complete and utter devotion. There was a feeling that I would do anything for him.

Kundalini Signs

When I woke up from this dream I again felt very at ease and calm. I continue to feel this way. It is like I spent the entire night being hugged and comforted. Yet when I woke I had visions of a symbol that was written in fire. The fire was alive, moving and sparking. I don’t remember the symbol now except that there were three dots that were sparking out towards me.

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Dreams and Divine Calling

I slept really hard, so hard that when I woke up and saw the clock showing 10:30pm I was certain the clock was wrong. I had gone to bed at 9pm and must have immediately passed out. I had been warned prior to going to sleep by one of my guides. He said to me, “You will be disoriented and not know what time it is.”

Dream: Twin Teacher

I had several vivid dreams but have forgotten the majority of them now. One I remember is walking into a classroom and seeing a man. He had dark hair and a go-T. He was familiar to me but I did not want to see him. I knew he came because he was romantically interested in me. He was smiling and very friendly, but I was thinking for some reason that I was also male. Why I thought this, I don’t know, but in the dream I saw myself as looking almost identical to him! I told him, “We can’t be together. We are twins (brothers).” He asked me where I wanted him to go in the classroom because he came to take over the class (substitute) for me while I was gone. He saw my desk and pointed to it and said, “That looks like a good place.” He was quite pushy but he was smiling and obviously trying to be funny. I didn’t think it was funny.

Since he wouldn’t leave, I decided to leave, but he followed me. He smiled the whole time and I kept feeling him behind me, like he was my shadow.

Then we were by a pool. It was not familiar to me. Usually I go to my Mom’s pool but this one, though it was also in the ground, was different and set farther from the house by a pathway. It had taller trees around it and there was more patio space.

I saw the dark haired man lounging by the pool. He had grown enormously fat for some reason and was laying next to a young girl who I identified as the owner’s daughter. The man was dressed from head to toe in black – black button up t-shirt and black cargo jeans. I was furious with him for some reason and kept asking him to give me back my keys. He acted like he didn’t hear me at first, then like he didn’t know what I was talking about. Frustrated, I put my hand into his right jean pocket to search for them but found nothing. He laughed and another person, the woman who owned the house, produced the keys. She tossed them at me and he caught them and then tried to keep them away from me. Finally, though, he put them on the patio table and I snatched them up and went back toward the house.

The owner of the house went with me to the back, sliding glass door. Still unfamiliar to me, I stopped short of going in because there was light colored carpet on the inside and I did not want to get it dirty. So I wiped my feet on the mat outside the door. So did the woman. This is when I noticed the owner/woman was dark skinned. I saw my reflection in the door and saw I was also dark skinned and quite petite, young and pretty.

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Dream: Yellow Paint

In this dream I was with a group of “family” but the only person I recognized was my older sister. I remember we were staying together at a house. Our packed bags were up against the wall and the house itself had a golden hue to it. For some reason I had lost my contact lenses. A friend, who was not present, had some and she had told all of us if we needed anything we could borrow her stuff. So I borrowed her contact and put them in. I remember them being over sized and uncomfortable. I also recall getting into a car while wearing them and not being able to see well in the dark, nearly rear ending another car.

Then I was inside a room that was like a restaurant but also a school, it seemed to be both. We were taking a test but there was this young girl who was having a rough time. I was sent to recover her but got distracted by a bucket of yellow paint. I decided to paint my legs with it. The young woman was distressed because she was on her period and was also complaining about her age. She was 37. She was embarrassed about being on her period and I advised her to go for a run to help with the cramps and blood flow issues. I then reassured her that she was still young, comparing her age to my own and telling her I had a baby at her age. I was able to recover her but the main memory here is of painting my legs yellow.

Interpretations

My initial feeling about the first dream is that I was having a discussion with my counterpart who obviously had more of a sense of human than me. He is always much more laid back and humorous than I am but sometimes it is very frustrating, as was evident in the dream. I was resisting being with my counterpart the entire dream. He is the one, though, who “holds the keys”. The fact that he was very fat is symbolic of prosperity but can also go along with the saying, “It ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.” The latter would be appropriate considering the humor here. The carpet was white in this dream. White is spirituality and carpet represents one’s foundation.

In the second dream I seem to be trying to see something more clearly but am unable to. There is fear of losing control or having a collision. The luggage (another common theme) indicates that which I am carrying around with me – burdens, responsibilities, desires, etc. The paint is a recurring symbol, like the luggage. In this instance I am painting myself yellow. Body paint is self-acceptance. Yellow represents happiness, harmony and wisdom. Menstruation indicates an end to difficult times and a beginning of relaxation. Some pent up tension/worry is being released.

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Conversation with Guide

When I woke up I was exhausted and a guide who called himself “Justice” was with me. I am not sure if this guide was male or female, maybe androgynous, but I got an entire talking to about my Divine Calling. It is not often that a guide shares with me some of their own past experiences, but this one did. She/he said that they understood my hesitation. She (in this instance the guide seemed more female) told me that she had similar situations in her past lives. I asked how they were similar and she said that she had stayed in an unhappy marriage many times. She said in one she stayed even though she was often beaten and emotional abused by her husband. I extended my sympathies to her because in a past life I also stayed in an abusive relationship so I understood her experience all too well. However, this was not the case this time. So, I  justified why I should stay – gave all the reasons I could think of, the main one being I was meant to be there for my children. I also remember saying, “I made my bed so now I get to sleep in it.” This I said in regards to having children and the responsibility that comes with being a mother/parent. Of course, this guide had a good response for every justification I gave.

I finally told this guide to leave me alone. I actually told them all to leave me alone. lol Not only was I tired and wanted to try and get more sleep before I had to get up and do my mommy job of getting my kids on the bus, but I was fed up with my guides hounding me. This is when Justice said to me, “What does your heart tell you?” Without meaning to, I focused on my heart. I suppose it is a habit now. When I did this I knew more than I wanted to know. Justice then said to me, “It’s your Divine calling.” This infuriated me and I said back, “Since when do you tell me what my calling is?” I was reminded I have a choice, then, but that when there is a soul contract made at the soul (HS) level it will eventually be fulfilled regardless. For some reason this calmed me and I said, “Good. I would rather be forced into this decision. It is just too hard to do on my own.”