Category Archives: Dreams

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Dream: House Renovations

Before bed last night I asked to know what was in my future.

Dream: House Renovation

I had a very in-depth dream about renovating a house. It was not a familiar house but resembled an older Craftsman home. There had been an addition at one point of a bedroom that had been later renovated into a large, walk-in pantry or closet.

In the beginning of the dream, my computer ran out of battery. What is funny is that the computer is a desktop so no battery needed. It was plugged in alongside three other computers but this one, mine, was dead and needed to be recharged. I was upset about this but recall seeing the blue light turn on and using another computer instead of mine for the interim. The computer sat in a shallow pan of water while it charged, too. It was really strange. I had on a large headset and was plugged into one of the other computers. It reminded me of an information stream via music. I don’t recall hearing music but the feeling was that this was my “lifeline”.

Then my husband, who I never quite got a good look at, was inviting a neighbor into the house to help renovate the peeling plaster and other areas. The main focus was this closet. It had very tall ceilings and the top two feet had been plastered wrong and was coming off in chunks. It had also only been painted halfway and old, brown carpet covered a four foot by five foot section leaving the rest of the floor bare. The walls in the hall were also only partially painted with tape up as if someone had been interrupted while painting. The color of the hall was a vibrant blue.

Soon there were several neighbors coming inside to help. I was focused on my children and ignored them for the most part. I remember wearing my pajamas and not caring about my appearance. At one point I lay down in the bed and felt I needed to justify my actions to one of the neighbors by saying, “I’m tired.” There was quite a bit of movement and work being done on the house.

I went back into the closet and one of the neighbors was up in the corner removing plaster. He said someone had used the wrong sponge and it was all dried out. The room had been cleared of all objects and I remember thinking a shelf was going to be put that went along the top of the room. I began to tear up the carpet. There was this cable that was sticking out of the floor. It appeared to go down into the basement. I pulled on it and it seemed to want to come all the way out. I left it alone, though, as I was afraid it was connected to something important.

Then I was standing in the bathroom talking to a man who I assume was one of my guides. We were inspecting the walls and I told him, “I want all the plaster replaced with drywall. I hate the plaster and it will just peel and crumble.” The man asked me if this was a good idea especially since I would likely be moving in the next couple of years. I thought about it, as if his comment about the time period triggered a memory of something.

I began to gain lucidity at this point and the dream kind of blacks out. The last thing I recall is hearing a man say to me, “All I want to hear from you is that you love me.” This woke me up straight away. My heart was warm and there was a brief shot of energy to my root and up again. That’s when it occurred to me that this dream was in response to my question.

Interpretation

It appears that my future holds a lot of work on myself.

  • Renovating – looking at life from a new perspective.
  • Battery – since it is dead I am feeling emotionally exhausted.
  • Computer – information.
  • Closet – something in life I have kept hidden from myself and/or others.
  • Plaster – there is a matter I am trying to resolve or settle. I wanted it gone and was fixated on it in the dream because it was peeling and crumbling.
  • Drywall – a desire for privacy.
  • Bathroom – purification and self-renewal.
  • Carpet – self-protection and/or life foundation, the carpet is brown and old/worn. Brown indicates practicality, domestic bliss, material comfort.
  • Paint – expression of inner emotions.
  • Blue – truth, wisdom, heaven, devotion, tranquility, openness.
  • Cable – stamina; since it is linked to something deeper then likely so is my stamina.

When I woke the feeling was that I want to reformat my life; renovate it but I don’t feel like I have the energy or information to do what needs to be done. There is a very strong apathetic feeling in regards to my life situation.

Self-Love

The last statement which woke me up triggered an entire inner dialogue about self-love. It also triggered a mind vs. heart conflict, one that has been on-going for some time. I asked my guides, “Why can’t things just be consistent?” The answer was that it would be if I would just stay in my heart. But what my heart tells me seems to trigger tons of negative self-talk. I was asked, “Don’t you deserve to be happy?” And this is when the self-love came into the conversation.

I was asked by my guidance, “If this was one of your children, what would you do?” Hahaha Well of course I would help them get what they wanted in any way I could. I want them to be happy.

It became very clear to me then that I was not treating myself the way I should. If I treated myself like I treat one of my children, if I loved myself the same as I love them, there would be no inner conflict. I would follow my heart and be done with it.

This brought up a whole string of beliefs for inspection. Beliefs about love. Beliefs about relationships. Beliefs about happiness. These are all born in the mind. The heart doesn’t have beliefs, it just has love and the potential to create love. After being overwhelmed by all my beliefs I was kinda wishing my brain would be wiped clean so that I could follow my heart without constant interference. Spiritual lobotomy? lol

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Dream: Roller Coaster

Dream I found in my drafts folder from 14th, July, 2016.

Dream: Roller Coaster

I was with an adviser. He gave me a tall glass of what I assumed was juice. It was completely green, though. I drank it. The information was provided to me that I needed to continue juicing and that it would be a good idea to prepare my body for the incoming energies by increasing the amount of veggies in my diet. I was told I have not been eating near enough veggies.

The scene shifts and I am with my family at an amusement park. I don’t know what park as it was not familiar so I will say it was similar to Disney World.

I watched as my daughter was drawn to this ride because it has a princess character over the front of the entrance. My husband was all excited and got all three kids into the coaster car with him. He then told me to get in, too. I did not feel like I had a choice.

There was no room for me. None. I sat in the middle squeezed between two of my children. The bar that comes down to secure everyone missed me. I had to hold on to the metal seat as the car began to move forward.

The roller coaster was suppose to be for little kids but the first thing I saw was this huge ramp up. It reminded me of the ride known as Greased Lightening from Astro World (now closed). We went quickly to the top of the ramp and then flew down backwards toward the other side where there was an identical ramp. In the dream I could feel the ride as if I were on it. The motion, the speed, everything. I wasn’t having fun, though. I was grabbing hold of the metal of the seat for dear life because I was not strapped in and knew we would be upside down more than once. Ahhh!

Interpretation

The roller coaster symbolizes frequent ups and downs in life. In this case they are caused by my family, particularly my husband. There is not security in this. I don’t fit in the car. The rail doesn’t secure me in the car. I could fall out at any moment. All these things cause me to think that some things in my life are or maybe will cause me to feel this way.

 

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Dream: Symbol in the Sky

I am just documenting these dreams.

Dream: Memory Sifting

I was aware of the purpose of this dream when I awoke. It was merely me sifting through memories (sorting them).

I was sitting in a van with my husband who was in the driver’s seat. We had packed a cooler in the back and were heading somewhere together. He pulled up next to another van. One of my close friends was at the wheel. I saw her and said, “Let’s invite her and her kids!” My husband looked at me and said, “No, I don’t think so.” He pulled away and I looked out the window at my friend who had a curious look on her face.

As he drove, I was angry at him and told him, “I won’t go with you.” I crawled to the back, opened the cooler and began making a sandwich for myself. I knew he was taking me to “his people” and I didn’t want to associate with them.

Then I had a visual of a mobile home whose roof and walls had been blown away revealing only a sofa and a few pieces of furniture. I knew this represented my old high school friend’s dad who passed away long ago. For some reason I thought the house had been destroyed by fire but there was no evidence of it. In the dream I felt sorry for my friend but decided to put it aside since it was her life, not mine.

I materialized into another scene. This time I was inside a home with a bunch of women. It was a lactation group. There was an odd sensation then of my milk coming in (only a nursing mom would know the feeling) and I began to massage my breasts to help the milk come down. lol I was hit with all kinds of inadequacy feelings at this time – I’m not a good mother because I don’t want to breastfeed. I’m selfish. I let my children down. And on and on. I felt unfairly criticized by others for my opinions and choices. It seemed like the other mother’s in the group disapproved and I wanted to do what was right despite feeling utterly exhausted and unable.

Then I was looking down at a plate in front of me. It looked like it contained little wads of dough shaped like large peanuts. There were two labeled sections. One said, “Regular milk” and the other said, “Breast milk.” I looked at it and was a bit grossed out thinking I was looking at dried up milk pieces.

The women each had plates similar to mine. Some had these bits in both categories, some in only one or the other. They were sharing their plates with each other – eating pieces of this dried milk. I almost gagged in the dream at the thought of it. lol

I tried to walk past unseen, hoping to not be noticed, but the leader stopped me and asked me for my plate. I saw very distinctly the different proportions of milk globs on my plate. The “Regular Milk” category had three times that of the “Breast Milk” one. The woman took a piece from both and then mentioned how the breast milk one tasted so much better and was healthier. I gagged when I saw her eating it. Then she asked me to taste and to my surprise I did.

Eating it brought in a flood of memories and realizations. I saw that my choices should not have been judge so harshly. I saw that had it not been for formula that my oldest and youngest children would have likely have been malnourished (or needed a wet nurse). I had PPD after my daughter’s birth and was suffering from major anemia and recovering from a c-section after the birth of my youngest. My daughter couldn’t latch on and was born three weeks early and had major digestive issues (reflux). I saw that I had given what I could. I saw that I mourned the loss of my milk.

In the dream I saw my breasts again and felt the familiar sensation of the milk coming down. I missed it and grieved the loss of it every time.

I awoke upset and feeling very sad. I miss having a baby. I miss the experience of being that close, that loved, that needed. There is nothing like it. Now my youngest is growing up and needing me less and less. I can’t have anymore children. Even though I wouldn’t want one really anyway, a part of me would have a dozen more children just to feel that bond/connection again; just to experience pregnancy and all that comes with it good and bad all over again. I feel old now, dried up and withering away. My body no longer able to give and sustain life. It is such an integral part of being a woman. I never realized it until now.

It is apparent to me that I need to let myself grieve the passing of this part of me but also embrace the new role I play in the lives of my children. Just because I can’t birth anymore, just because they are growing, doesn’t make me any less a mother.

Dream: Symbol in the Sky

I was flying along a road in the middle of an estuary. The water was a vivid blue and there were people all around fishing. There was a sense that this was a special time or event.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of the sun, except it was not the sun. It was a very large symbol in the sky. It had always been there but caught my attention because I suddenly noticed the outer petals of this symbol were glowing a very pale, bluish color. The blue was the same color as the water below – a kind of blue-green or aqua. It was absolutely beautiful and I could not take my eyes off of it. I said to my friend, “It is glowing!” In my mind I knew this was not the sun, it was a space craft of some sort.

Then the scene around me changed. The estuary vanished and I was in the middle of an ancient city, one that was familiar but I couldn’t place. The buildings were of an ancient architecture and all had a light, pale gold color to them. As if the stone they were made from was molded and smoothed.

There was a catastrophic event taking place. The sky was grumbling despite the sun being out. Huge chunks of hail bigger than my fist, some even larger than that, were falling from the sky and causing devastation to the structures. People were in terror, running through the streets yelling to me to take cover. I just stood, looking up at the symbol in the sky, watching it. It hovered like a space craft and moved, morphing into a luminous, blue snake across the sky. I was in awe of it and felt completely and utterly at peace. I knew no harm would come to me. All around me the chaos continued. Buildings began to crumble, water flooded in and covered the city. Yet still I remained, unharmed, separate from the scene, watching as the aqua-blue colored snaked through the sky and hid behind the clouds.

When I awoke I knew the symbol I saw had a name but I couldn’t remember it. I also knew it resembled the symbols for the chakras but I wasn’t sure which chakra. The color was bluish, but I was certain it was not the throat chakra. The crown then? No. I am not sure which one but the symbolism was not lost to me. This chakra was opening in me, bringing in ancient knowledge that was once lost. My guidance confirmed. I still felt awe in remembering it. It was beautiful.

The symbol I saw was most similar to this one but with petals (no dots) on the outside, like a lotus, which is why I connected it to the chakras.

sriChakra1

The image comes from this website. It is called the SriChakra:

The Shaktas, or followers of Shakti worship, consider the Sri Yantra, or Sri Chakra, the holiest among them.

The Sri Chakra is conceived as Shiva-Shakti. The diagram consists of a series of triangles around a small central circle called the bindu. Thebindu represents the Shiva-Shakti in union, from which the rest of the diagram, representing the cosmos, is evolved. Enclosing the bindu and superimposed on each other are the four Shiva triangles (Srikanthas) pointing upwards, and five Shakti triangles (Shiva-Yuvatis) pointing downwards. These constitute the nine dhatus, or basic categories, of the universe, evolving from the Supreme Mother represented by thebindu. The triangles are surrounded by two circles of lotuses, one with eight petals (Vasudala) and the other with sixteen petals (Kalasra). Outside these, are three circles (mekhalatraya) and a rectangular enclosure (Bhupura) of three lines for the whole figure, with entrances on the four sides.

It just so happens that this website links to an article about Tantric Yoga. lol

 

 

 

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I’m Done With School

I woke myself up several times last night yelling in excitement, “I’m done with school!” Once, when I awoke, my Companion was there cheering me on. Too funny!

Now I know that as infinite spiritual Beings, we are never truly done with learning (school). So why was I so excited? What happened to bring up so much relief, so much exaltation at the very notion that I was finished with school?

My dreams suggest I have moved past a pivotal point in my spiritual journey. Specifically, a point I have revisited time and time again in my dreams: high school. There was a memorable dream last night where I was with a group of familiar high school classmates. I wore no makeup (big deal for me at that time in my life) and though at first I was very aware of what I was wearing, I didn’t care one bit about it. Even when someone spoke to me about my appearance I acted proud of how I appeared and bored with their criticism. Throughout the dream I was disconnecting from that group, individuating from the experience. Very significant I must say. I hope to never return to high school in my dreams again! lol

Dream: Peach Trees

In another dream I was in a large white van. A woman was driving. She got distracted and I remember saying to her, “Where are you going?” She tried to self-correct and ended up knocking the van on its side. We got out and she was frazzled and I told her to just sit it back up and we could drive out. While she was doing (she was lifting it up with her bare hands) this I wandered around in the field we were in. There were deep ruts in the grass and peach trees with very, over large peaches on them. They were almost ripe and I found them very irresistible.

When I walked over to the trees I ran into this obstruction. It was green and covered with dirt and grass but it was pliable and I realized that it was a mechanical structure used to hold back water. I was standing on the bottom of what use to be a lake. The water was dried up and the structure was the old floodgate.

I inspected the fruit and found it was not yet ripe. I saw a couple walking toward me and heard their toddler yelling with joy. I commented on it, saying he was a very joyous little boy. They looked at me like I was crazy. I ignored them.

Someone was with me and showed me a very large peach. She pointed to what looked like a knot of wood in the center of the peach. She said it was very rare. The peach had grown around the knot. I looked at it closely and saw what looked like a rotten patch. It fell off and I saw what seemed like decay inside.

Upon closer inspection I saw very clearly three very tiny, fragile baby birds. I said, “Oh, a bird built it’s nest inside!” I was upset because now that the peach was removed the mother may not find her babies. The woman with me set it inside a pile of dirt and rocks that was as high as we were. I heard her say the bird was a white starling. I saw in my mind a fairly large bird that was completely white. I wondered how it could even fit inside the tiny nest! The woman with me was reassuring me that the mother bird would find her babies and not abandoned them despite them being moved. I believed her and the dream ended.

Georgia_peaches-usa

Interpretation

I was reminded of the waterfall and damn symbolism that came up recently. Apparently I have overcome this obstacle and now the water has receded so I can see what is underneath. In this case it is peaches. Peaches symbolize pleasure and joy and indicate that things are going well. The nest of birds suggests the birth of something new that needs to be tended to. When I awoke I couldn’t recall the type of bird and heard very distinctly “starling”. I understood this to be related to Starseed but in an immature form – like a baby Starseed. I didn’t even know if such a bird existed – but it does.

Dream: Last 5 Minutes

I was attending a lecture inside what resembled a church. There were pews and everything and someone was standing behind a podium located at the front of the room. I heard the announcement that during the last 5 minutes someone would speak a few words. Part of what was said was, “For those of you who may like to leave early, it is advised that you stay.” At that moment I was trying to sneak out without being seen. Everyone looked at me and I made some excuse and went back to my seat.

Then three people in wheelchairs rolled in and surrounded me. I thought it odd that they were in wheelchairs and they made it impossible for me to leave.

Dream: Visiting Friend

This dream then reminded me of a previous dream in which we had a guest who was a college professor. The professor was familiar and had driven many miles to meet me (from Cambridge). I recognized him as someone who I have communicated with online and wondered why he was in my dream. This didn’t wake me up, though. I had a concern that he was romantically interested in me but this thought was dispelled quiet quickly. It was known that he only wished to help and I was reminded of the worth of the relationships which I am building at this time.

We had all retired to bed when I heard noise and got up to investigate. I walked around to the front of the house and saw the garage door had been opened. Then I ran into my mom (we were at her house). My mom was being very nasty in the dream – irritable. She said they only got 5 minutes of sleep. I said, “Only 15 minutes?” She said to me, “You didn’t listen to what I said. I said 5 minutes.”  The professor friend had been out with a female friend of his during the night and had not slept either. He was preparing to go for a hike. I remember looking at his boots and noting he wore brown, leather, hiking boots.

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Dream: Transformation

After this morning’s Kundalini rising, I returned to sleep and fell into a vivid dream which I feel I should record.

Dream: Transformation

I was with family in a very large house, mansion maybe. My sisters and I were together with our brother. My brother and I had a very strong bond. We were “joined at the hip” and my sisters often commented about it and were suspicious about our deep connection.

Sometime later it occurred to us (me and my brother) that we were in love with each other and wanted a romantic relationship. I openly admitted this to my sisters and family, telling them that I didn’t care what they thought. It was empowering to follow my heart and ignore their objections.

The dream shifted and we were discussing a very unsettling family situation. A male family member and his wife mistreated their infant son and had four very vicious dogs. He also had a sporty vehicle he loved and kept immaculate. He and his wife often had violent arguments in front of their son, hitting each other, cursing, and yelling. This upset me because it was damaging the child. The child picked up this behavior and so treated others like this, even his own parents. It was not unusual for him to try to strangle his father in his sleep because this is what he had seen his father doing to his mother.

So we took the car and secretly sold it for $9,500, way beneath its value. We took one of the black, vicious dogs and made it docile – wiped its memory and made it like a new puppy. It became very loving, sensitive and cautious. At one point I picked up the baby boy and tried to cuddle with him. He did not know how to respond to hugs. It was like he had never had one. I decided to fix that with more love and hugs.

I took the now docile dog to my home to live because to send him back to his old home would likely lead to his demise. When I brought the dog into my home, the dog shifted into a young woman with long black hair. I showed her the house and the rooms of her siblings. She especially enjoyed her younger sister’s room and wanted to stay and explore the toys in it. She followed directions very well and thrived on love and attention.

She was very new to being a human – never been human before – so I was showing her how to be human. She really loved red wine, though, and often over indulged. I remember this causing upset in the family because she did not know how to control her consumption of wine.

Considerations

I believe this dream is me trying to make sense of the Kundalini experience I had this morning. It is like a continuation of the lesson. I can see very clearly a transformation taking place within myself which is obvious in the dream. What is done to the baby, dog and car are happening to me in various ways. The young woman is the new me, or the me who needs training. She is like a blank slate and needs to be taught how to live in a human body. She tends to overindulge, however.

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Lucid Dream: Panther

I couldn’t sleep last night. I was wound up, bursting with energy. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am. I don’t feel tired this morning despite waking at 7am.

Lucid Dream: Panther

I was having a dream where I was talking with someone about happiness. I had a realization which I stated in the dream. It was something like, “No wonder I’m never happy. My expectations ruin it for me.” This statement brought on lucidity and the scene shifted.

I was in a car with two other women. One was a black women with exceptionally long dreadlocks. She was quite pretty and I remember wishing I looked like her. We were talking about various things, but I can’t recall the discussion now other than remembering something about a grocery store and a full versus empty shopping cart.

The black woman was driving the car and going quite fast. She made a turn at a very high speed and the car fish tailed to a stop in the ditch next to the gate leading onto some rural property. It looked like a ranch of some sort out in the middle of nowhere. When I realized the car was swerving and might crash, I escaped out the window and floated next to the car watching it come to a stop.

Then I was standing on the gravel road in between the fence posts that marked the entrance to the ranch. I saw this massive, black panther standing in front of me. It was huge and had massive canines. I was nervous and looked to see if I could find my companions but they had vanished. I was alone, face-to-face with a black panther!

The large cat rushed toward me and I huddled down to protect myself. It pounced and landed on my back and then put its massive mouth over my head as if it were going to eat me. But rather than eat me, it seemed to be playing with me and felt more like a dog than a cat. I could feel the weight of it on my back and feel the heat of its breath and its massive teeth.

I wast thinking, “Is he friendly?” Nothing he did indicated that he was going to hurt me, yet I was still not sure. I stood up and he let me stand. For some reason he was playfully jumping around like a dog waiting for his owner to throw a stick for him to fetch. I got it in my mind to pick up a rock and throw it. When I did, the panther chased after the rock. I remember thinking, “How do I get out of here?” Despite the panther being friendly, all I could think of was how to get away from him.

The large cat came loping back with the rock and dropped it at my feet, asking me to throw it again. I was plotting my escape when I felt the energy of re-entry into my physical body pull me out of the scene.

Hypnagogia

Upon return to my body I was hit with intense hypnagogic imagery. It was all in black, white and gray and there were symbols strategically placed in a grid pattern that covered my entire visual field. It had depth (3D) and reminded me of coordinates or the plotting of some kind of graph. The symbols were varied and it was most definitely some kind of language. What language, I don’t know. I recall seeing the number 3 but it was not numerical. As I try to remember the symbols, Ancient Cyrillic comes to mind. Just so happens that the 3 is one of the symbols in this language. hahaha

cyrillic

My entire crown was lit up with so much energy it felt as if my head were going to explode. It didn’t hurt but it was uncomfortable and my entire body stiffened making it impossible to relax.

I tried to direct the images I was seeing by willing them to change. I tried to give them color. I tried to shift it into a scene or a picture that I could walk into. Nothing worked. The only change that resulted was that the symbols were replaced by millions of tiny 3D bubbles all in gray and white. They started out tiny and got larger and larger until at the top of my visual field they seemed to pop or burst open. Circles upon circles upon circles.

strawberries-800

Dream: Strawberry Field and Message

I saw in front of me a field of beautiful, red, ripe strawberries. They were lined up and perfect in every way. When I saw them, though, I rejected them. There is no way strawberries could be that perfect. I replaced the image with a field of half rotten strawberries. The rows and columns had huge gaps in them where the strawberries had been taken out. To me this felt more comfortable but there was most definitely an upset with this scene. I preferred the first but felt it was impossible. It made more sense that the strawberries be imperfect, rotting or missing.

Someone was with me and they were trying to convince me that the first field of strawberries was a possibility. I don’t recall how he looked, just his energy. He had such hope and his belief was stronger than my own. He took my hand and said to me, “Let’s pave a new path.” I let him take my hand but I did not go with him. What he was promising was a fantasy world. I would be stupid to follow him. Yet not going with him was agonizing.

I woke up feeling really awful and hopeless.

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Dream: Protection

Meant to share this earlier.

Dream: Protection

I’m inside a house that is unfamiliar. It is a small house and there is a section (fireplace?) that is barred on three sides with wrought iron decorative railing/fencing. One section, however, is missing. The missing section is pointed out to me by my adviser. He shows me via telepathy a visual of someone sneaking into the house and taking it. This someone comes into the house frequently and takes things. Little things usually, so no one will notice them missing. The person is taking bigger things now, feeling brazen. The reason this someone can get inside is because the door was left unlocked. In fact, all the windows and doors to the house were unlocked. I remember stating that my husband is the culprit. He purposefully leaves the doors and windows unlocked. He does this with his car, too.

I walked across the street to an identical house. The door is wide open. Unlocked. I feel upset by this. I shut the door and there is concern. What will this person take next? How can I assure they won’t get back in when my husband purposefully leaves everything unlocked?

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I was concerned and a bit alarmed. My first thought was that I needed to put up protection, like the invoking the violet flame or putting a bubble of protective energy around myself. But this didn’t make sense. I felt protected in that way. So what is this dream about?

Then I thought that I needed to change all the passwords on my accounts. I did this, this morning just in case. lol Can’t be too careful.

The dream kept returning to me despite being lost more than once. I suspect there is a message in there about my marriage since it is my husband who leaves everything unlocked. Robbery symbolizes an identity crisis or loss in life. Leaving something unlocked represents a kind of insecurity; being left wide open to outside threat. I also feel I have no control over the actions of my husband based upon the second house and my feelings about it being left unlocked.

In considering this, I will say that recently our relationship has shifted quite a bit. My husband is being more allowing of my spiritual connections and beliefs. Not that he agrees with them, but that he is allowing me to have that, to be who I am. Of course, when it gets in the way of his wants and beliefs he quickly shifts gears. I don’t know what to think of it all really. Perhaps this is why I feel unable to control him in the dream? I don’t know what to expect anymore.

It could also be that I am letting my husband be in control of me/my life/my path and should not be. Perhaps he is a threat that I am not seeing? The allowance of him into my space is potentially harmful. He is stealing from me. Hmmm. Something to consider………Ugh that interpretation feels spot on. What do I do what that??? [insert expletives]. How do you lock out a spouse? Okay, don’t answer that question it’s rhetorical. Really. lol

 

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Dreams: Renewing Vows and Cat and Owl

Some more vivid dreams.

Dream: Renewing Vows

I was in a small dress shop with an older girlfriend and her daughter. She was taking me to the dresses, discussing which one’s we would buy. They had chosen these very gaudy, gowns with petticoats that made it nearly impossible for them to sit down. I remember saying that I wanted something less dressy, more casual. I looked at a slinky gown of white and gold. The older lady friend said, “Are you sure? You should go all-out for this!” I knew the event we were preparing for was my marriage ceremony, only this one was a renewal ceremony. We were already married.

We entered a restaurant and sat down at a table together to have dinner. Everyone seemed quite happy and excited but I was not feeling this way. I don’t remember what everyone was talking about but I felt like a whole lot of time was missing from my memory. I didn’t remember getting married and I definitely would not hang out with people like this. Who were they anyway?

My husband, who I did not recognize and seems only like a blur in my memory now, offered me a drink. It was orange colored and he said it was alcoholic. He said, “Give it a try. It is good. See for yourself.” I took the small cup of orange liquid and drank it. It tasted like juice. I said, “There’s no way this is alcoholic.” Everyone laughed but me.

Interpretation

The feeling here is that I was being reminded that my Counterpart and I were married and had been since the beginning of time. I do not recall this, of course, but a part of me does. In this dream the upcoming marriage was being discussed and was considered a renewal of vows because that is technically what it is. I was not comfortable with the situation because I have so many gaps in my memory that none of it fits. So I was downplaying the whole thing, thus choosing a less gaudy dress than the others. The orange drink is curious. I fully expected a strong alcoholic flavor but instead tasted the most sweetest juice I had ever tasted. Orange as a color denotes feeling fully alive.

Dream: Cat and Owl

The scene was inside an unfamiliar house. I was with my sister-in-law and she was talking about having another baby. She was also very concerned about money, trying to figure out where all of hers went and how to make ends meet. I was helping her with her considerations and talking to her about her budget.

I began to get semi-lucid in this dream. The signs were there to wake me up within the dream, but I never quite caught on.

I went into a room and then turned around and the door was missing. This made me feel very off and I got dizzy and disoriented within the dream for a moment. I touched the wall to reestablish myself in the scene. I could feel the texture and coolness of it and see the beige coloring. Afterward, I spotted the door and went back through it. My SIL said to me, “Hey, didn’t you go in the door over there? How did you come out here?” I was as confused as she was.

Then I was outside standing in the middle of a sidewalk. I was talking to someone but can’t remember about what and I do not remember seeing anyone there. Right in front of me, standing there staring at me, was the largest owl I had ever seen. He just stared at me and seemed almost like a statue except that he would occasionally blink his eyes. He was probably about the height of a small child, so very large. Larger than any owl I had ever seen.

I remember thinking I should take a picture because this was by far the strangest thing I had ever seen. At this point I was convinced the dream was real – this was really happening. Then a very large, orange, tabby cat approached me. He was nice but also way bigger than any normal cat should be. He came up to me purring and I petted him on the head but had the thought I should be careful because cats can be unpredictable and he might decide to bite me for no reason.

Then the cat went and stood right next to the massive owl and they both just stared at me.

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I felt myself come back into my body similar to what I feel when returning from an OBE. Yet I was not lucid enough in the dream to recognize this.

The owl is still very vivid in my mind. He was HUGE. And so strange. His head was very smooth with no feathers poking up indicative of the Great Horned Own who is my main animal totem. He was the typical mottled brown I am use to seeing and his eyes were yellowish.

Owls are symbolic of the subconscious, of expanded awareness, mysticism, and all things spiritual. They can see “beyond”.

The orange cat was also huge and stood nearly the same height as the owl. I have not seen cats for a while in my dreams. They typically symbolize feminine sexuality and sensuality. The orange, like in the dream before, is feeling alive and tuned into one’ senses. I kept worrying it would bite me, probably because I am worried my own sexual tendencies will bite me if I give into them. lol

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Velantium

I awoke around midnight from another dream experience that has me a bit shaken.

Dream: John 3:16

I was alone in a dark room. Prior to this there had been a brief episode of sliding down tubes similar to being on a water slide. I stood in the center of the this room and a light was shining down on me from above. I could not see the source of the light. The room was made of rough, dark stone and reminded me of a dungeon.

Scripture was being read aloud. I was reciting it. The specific scripture that I kept repeating was John 3:16:  

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

I was reciting other parts of this chapter of John, too, but I don’t remember it.

Eventually I was screaming this up at the light, hoping someone would hear me. I could hear others reciting the scriptures with me but I couldn’t see them. I remember being both the person standing there and the Observer of the scene. As the Observer I saw that the me standing there was draped in chains.

As I became more and more lucid, the scripture became more prominent and the scene less so. I focused on the 3:16 and somehow felt it corresponded to the month of March – March, 16 (2016).

Message: Velantium

I awoke from this dream with a start and feeling as if I had just been drowning. There was a panic I felt but it was not overwhelming. I was also very confused and disoriented so it took me a few seconds to get my bearings.

There was a group nearby in the shadows. I recognized them but because I was in such a frantic state still, their energy scared me and caused me to doubt their intentions. One Being stepped forward, just a silhouette. He had on his head a pointy headdress, which he took off and placed on the ground as he knelt in front of me. I recognized the headdress. I had seen it in a recent OBE on the lady/angel who had been standing over me. What was it? Was it a crown? Was it a helmet of some sort? Why was it pointy? And then I noticed all the others with who accompanied this Being who was kneeling down wore similar headdresses.

There came with this scene before me a feeling of not wanting to experience this, whatever it was. There was also a fear of what it meant and a knowing that it was not going to just “go away”. In realizing this there was an ever more fierce desire to escape the inescapable.

The group before me, whatever their origins, whoever they were, began to transmit messages. I was unable to do anything about receiving them. If I tried to remain awake, I was pulled into the in-between where visions and messages seemed to flood my mind.

I received this message:

17,900 years of waiting.

A great flood (vision of a room being flooded and feeling of connection to Altantis).

An army of mystics returns.

Velantium.

Eventually I returned to sleep. When I awoke later I felt calmer but the dream experience was still vivid in my mind. There still is a feeling that this, whatever it is, will not stop. It makes me feel a bit crazy on the one hand but on the other I feel totally sane, maybe more sane than ever.

I felt very much connected to the vision that came with the above message. I recognized it somehow. There was a conversation somewhere in the night with my guides reminding me that I could not ignore “the call”. The feeling is so intense that I want only to withdraw completely from this spiritual path and immerse myself in mundane things just to feel normal again.

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Dreams from Last Night

Dreams from last night. Probably why I woke up in a bad mood. lol

Dream: Keys to Any Car

I was in a mall-type environment at a gathering of teachers. While waiting I browsed a shop and dilly dallied around a while trying to decide whether I wanted to buy anything there or not. There were candles and other novelty items. I remember looking at a pillow for my daughter with a unicorn on it. It was $12 and I thought that too much.

I left the store to find some food but the food court there was made up of fast food type places, all of which I wanted nothing to do with. I wandered here and there, stepping over a bunch of sleeping people laid out on the floor. What was odd here is the floor was bright white and all the people were laying under white blankets.

I finally went through some doors that led to the parking lot. Suddenly I was not alone. There was a man with me who I never saw directly. We seemed to share thoughts. I remember thinking, ” I forgot where I parked my car.” I held my key fob in my hand and pressed it, hoping it would make my car beep and flash its lights. It did make a car’s lights flash and I heard a strange beeping that seemed similar to Morse Code. I went up to the car but since it wasn’t mine (it was a Datsun), I stepped back. My friend said, “Looks like your keys fit this car.” I said, “But it’s not mine.” He said, “It could be yours.” Then he held out his hand and there were two more key fobs. One was black, the other silver and much smaller. I looked at it and remember thinking, “All of these cars are mine.”  This is when I realized the entire parking lot was dusted in snow.

I went back inside and all the food shops were closing up. I was really hungry by this time and wished I had just gotten some of the Asian food there. I saw the Asian shop closing up and asked a young Asian lady why she was closing. She said, “It’s 1pm. Closing time.”

imagesInterpretation

Mall = choices and decisions in one’s life.

Pillow = comfort, relaxation and taking it easy on one’s self. Looks like I don’t want to take it easy on myself.

12 = message from one’s guides to not be hindered by old habits that need to be changed. Try to look at new experiences in a positive way.

Unicorn = idealism, hope and/or insight into a situation. It can also represent one-sided views.

White = purity, new beginnings, awakening, or a blank slate.

Sleeping people = aspects of my subconscious that I am not alert to. I see it as me not wanting to be alert to them because I avoid them.

Keys = opportunity.

Lost Car = dissatisfaction with some aspect of life. It means I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. This is my life story. lol

Snow = inhibitions. Something is holding me back.

Food = nourishment of one’s body, mind, soul, emotions, etc. I was wishing I had not delayed so long in choosing the food I wanted to eat.

Dream: Adopted Girl

I was presented with a tiny, Australian Shepherd puppy, a tri-colored one. I cradled it in my arms and saw it quite clearly. So cute! Someone was taking newborn photos of it and as soon as I recognized this, the puppy turned into a newborn baby girl. There was discussion as to whether I wanted to keep it. At first I wanted to. She was so cute. But then I worried about her being adopted. Who was her mother? What would she look like? What would she be like? Yet I kept snuggling her close. I instantly loved her.

Then it was like some time passed and I was inside this room with so many people that it almost seemed crowded. We were all sitting on couches with giant pillows. The main color was green but I also saw some in blue. I was discussing my baby with someone and ended up on a walkway in my mind during this discussion. I was with children who were running and playing. I ran after them and came upon a small, shrub-like tree laden with tiny, green, round fruit. I said, “Wow! There are 50 fruits on this tree!” The man with me said, “Yes, it’s an old avocado tree.” I said, “I love avocado!” He said, “Look on the ground. There may be some ripe ones still.” I looked and found several large avocados but they were all over ripe and no good for eating. The man said, “The tree is very old and nearing the end of its life.”

Then I was back in the room with all the people but I was sitting right in the middle of the avocado tree. I reached down and felt the over ripe avocados below me. Then, I saw very clearly a young woman with very white blonde hair. I knew instantly she was my daughter, the one who had just been a baby. I saw another blonde girl on the other side of the room. She was a bit younger and I knew she was the girl’s sister. What was odd is that everyone in the room had dark hair except these two girls (an myself I assume). The girl who was my daughter had earned the reputation of being very sexually promiscuous, unfortunately. I was not unhappy about it but remember seeing her flaunting her breasts and thinking she was very beautiful.

Interpretation

Puppy = playfulness or a blossoming friendship.

Baby = innocence and new beginnings. The fact that I was questioning whether to keep her indicates my uncertainty regarding the new beginning.

Pillows (again) = I need to take it easy, relax.

Green = healing

Blue = communication.

Avocado = rewards for hard work and persistence towards a goal. Being those on the tree were still maturing indicates that there is still some time to go before this goal is reached. The ones over ripe could indicate goals that have already been reached, the rewards for which have not yet been acknowledged.

Tree = hopes, desires, knowledge, self-development and individuation. Since the tree is nearing the end of its life it could indicate that this time in my life is nearing its end as well.

Hair = sensuality, seduction, vanity. Being it is white it could indicate potential exists here. I suspect that I am still struggling with these aspects of myself and so seeing it as my daughter.

images (1)Dream: School Bus

I was flying with a girl near a highway overpass. It was crowded with cars and we both flew up and selected a blue car to follow. I remember becoming the car and speeding down the road.

Then I was inside a school bus. My husband was driving. He was driving very reckless and was not being very nice, yelling about the traffic, etc. I remember looking out of the window at one point and seeing a family sitting in the back of a trailer. They were helping their son sell hamburgers to people so he could earn extra money. I remember being very impressed and telling my husband. He only focused on the fact that they were selling hamburgers which were not good for people.

The traffic slowed and I saw the cars stopped ahead. My husband yelled to me, “What road should we be on! Tell me now! Hurry! What road??” I could see highway 79 and told him, “79. Take that exit.” I pointed and he followed and I felt the bus lurch as he swerved and then slowed to take the exit. The last thing I remember was noticing that the exit had what appeared to be fencing on either side and a very sharp, 90 degree turn.

Interpretation

Car = life path. Being it is one on the highway overpass, perhaps I am choosing the “high road”? lol

Blue = communication.

School bus = indicates that an important life journey is about to take place, one that is needed for my spiritual growth. Considering my husband is driving and not being nice, I do not think I  will like this path. lol

Hamburger = dissatisfaction with some situation or relationship in your life. I know what that is. I talk about selling them and my husband doesn’t like it. Ha!

79 = shedding old aspects of life that no longer suit me or my True Self. It indicates that certain issues are coming to an end allowing for the new to come into my life.

Fence = obstacle that is standing in my way; feeling “fenced in” or confined within a relationship.