Category Archives: Dreams

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Dream: Will You Be My Patient?

I struggled to fall asleep last night. I had more energy than usual and then I kept waking up. My head was buzzing with energy at the very top. I could sometimes feel it extend to my third eye but then it would withdraw.

Then, I was told suddenly by my guide,”We will talk”.

Dream: Will You Be My Patient?

I was walking inside a very large, mall-like building. The ceiling were vastly high with domed windows. There were office spaces enclosed completely in glass. Inside one of them I saw a desk and a man.

My “sister” came out and lovingly touched my arm. She said to me, “I’m so sorry to hear the news”. I looked at her questioningly. “I heard your bloodwork came back showing signs of cancer”. I didn’t know what she was talking about.

In my mind I had a memory of seeing the doctor in the glass office and him giving me an exam. I went to get the bloodwork after. He had not even talked to me about it yet. How could she then know the results if I didn’t? I thought that she must be confusing me for our mother, but then I couldn’t remember her ever having cancer either.

I continued toward the glass office and went inside. The doctor gave me a slip of paper. It was a hand written prescription containing five scripts. I read over them and recognized them as cancer-fighting medications. Could it be that my sister was right?

I confronted my doctor. “What did my bloodwork say?”

He told me that the bloodwork showed signs of cancer. He specified that I had two tumors that were still small and if treated aggressively the prognosis was good. In my mind I saw the tumors were in my head. I did not know what to think. Was he for real?

I looked down at the script and knew I had a decision to make. Take the medication or don’t take it. Take a chance at life or resign myself to my fate.

Then I saw a woman sitting where I should have been sitting across from the doctor. She had something in her hand. I became her, experiencing her thoughts. She recognized she needed to quit smoking. For a moment the thing in her hand looked like a pack of cigarettes. She reluctantly handed them over and I imagined them stomped upon by the doctor. However, what actually happened is the woman handed over a small USB flash drive. This confused me but I soon recognized it as one I had in waking life. It contained on it a recovery program to find viruses on infected computers.

Then the doctor came up to me, his white coat very obvious.

He asked me, “Will you be my patient?”

What is odd about this part of the dream is that when he asked me the question it echoed in my physical ears as if he were really standing right next to me. The sound resonated between states and then beyond. The me in the dream wanted to answer, “Yes”. The me waking up to the question wanted to answer, “No”.

Feeling I needed to answer, I chose the answer of the me in the dream. “Yes”, I said. But I wanted to answer “No”.

The split between my two aspects was quite obvious. One had hope and wanted help. The other had given up.

Awake now, I was confused and wanted to panic, but didn’t. It was only a dream. I don’t have cancer. I just had a physical and everything checked out fine. It was purely symbolic. Cancer symbolizes a sickness within, like an emotional sickness or an area of one’s life that is causing them emotional upset. The question about being a patient could mean two things. One, that I need to be patient. Two, that I am in an intense period of healing. It likely means both.

My guide said to me that one of these “cancers” is impeding my survival. He asked me to return to sleep and he would help me understand.

I did eventually return to sleep but the dream seems unrelated to the “cancer” dream. I do remember hearing a message that I had 10 more days to go. This would fall in line with the 30 day time period I was given at the beginning of the month.

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Dream: Back to School (again)

I’ve been very tired lately. This is probably because of being sick with a cold (in July?) and then doing a pretty intense workout in hopes of clearing up the cold quicker. This morning a two-day headache is gone, I’m feeling better and have a slightly pleasant buzzing in my crown chakra.

Dream: Life Scenarios

My dreams were quite vivid last night for some reason. I recall two, the first of which is almost faded completely from my memory now.

In this particular dream I was observing how choices affect life outcomes. Since I don’t remember the specifics now, I will say that I was both an observer and a participant in the dream. At one point I was pulled out of the dream and asked to observe the multiple directions the life of the individual could take. I saw at least 12 or 13, all shooting off from a particular point like roads at an intersection. It resembled a wheel with spokes, the center being the defining moment when the choices were made.

I recognized within the dream the life scenarios I was viewing and the extent of the lesson was a bit overwhelming. To think that all these off-shoots were possible and likely occurring at the same time. If you have seen the show Sliders, then you will get an idea of what this might look like.

When I awoke from the dream my first thought was that I had been given a glimpse of multidimensional me. I was also reminded of my recent very lucid OBEs in which I was experiencing an alternate version of reality, one in which I had gone a completely different direction with my life.

Dream: Back to School (again)

This dream began with me entering a dorm room where I met up with several other people. It was furnished with two twin beds with white sheets and there was a small window that revealed we were on an upper level.

Discussion was about school and settling in. There was with me a very muscular black man who was the main focus of my attention, but there was also a woman. The black man laid down in the bed and I went up close to him and took a good look at him. He was not wearing a shirt and his muscles were very defined. I remember that he was very firm with me, though I don’t remember now what he said to me. It was not that he was unhappy with me but more that he wanted me to pay attention.

I noticed he had a large, reddish colored mole just under his right eye. I wondered about it briefly but was interrupted.

“What will you do now?” the woman asked. I could barely perceive her silhouette to my left.

At this time I found myself laying in the bed where the man had been and looking up at the ceiling. I said, “He will be my boyfriend”, jokingly, but I suddenly knew it was true.

The woman then began to talk to me about registration, telling me that I needed to be there at 6:30am. She spoke about receiving a message and I told her, “You get messages like once a week. No one ever calls or leaves me a message anymore”.

I realized it was nearly 6:30 and looked out the window to make sure. When I did, I saw the moon. It was extremely large! I remarked in surprise, pointing at it. When I looked closer it turned into an outline of Earth, each continent numbered, as if labeled.

I said, “Oh, I guess it is a hologram”. I looked and saw a balcony far below where a projector was set up. This was the source of the image.

The image then changed to that of an alien space craft lit up with all sorts of colors. It then morphed into another craft but I lost interest at that point.

It was then time for me to go and so I left, worrying briefly about where the Student Union was located.

When I arrived I had with me all three of my children. I browsed the books and knew which ones I needed. I also knew I had plenty of money to pay for them and that this part was “easy”.

Reflection

When I awoke I knew the dream represented another round of learning that was about to begin. I was/am not very pleased about it. The cycle never seems to end. My guide reminded me that learning is why I am here. He communicated that learning is Us.

I recognized the black man from my dream. I recall many encounters with him since 2003. I suspect that my guides have changed for the time being and he is back for whatever it is he does. Though I don’t remember much about him, I do recall there being a strong sexual component. This was in the past, though. I do not know if this is his main role or not. I doubt it.

There is also the 630 number. It appeared the night before as well, suggesting there is a message in it. It’s meaning can be found here. I have grown tired of these number messages as most of them mean the same thing: stay focused on your current path, trust you are on the right path, and your guides and angels are assisting you.

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Dream: Meteorites and Dissociation

It has been a strange day and still, as it is ending, my dreams haunt me.

Meteorites

In this dream I was in a mountainous area up north somewhere. I am not sure where exactly I was, but the mountains were gray and treeless with snow still showing near the peaks.

In the valley below I stood in shock as I watched meteorites rain down from the sky and hit the mountains. In the sky they trailed smoke and ash and when they hit the mountains the explosion caused fire to shoot out from the impact sites similar to how a volcano looks when it erupts. One after another they fell and caused fire and smoke to rise into the sky.

In the valley below the destruction I finally turned and ran, stopping only because I saw a small group of people. Something about them, perhaps the oddness of them being there, caused me to forget about the destruction and try to learn more about them.

They were speaking Japanese and the conversation was mainly between a young Japanese man and a very tiny, but adult, Japanese woman. The woman appeared to be mildly retarded and even though I could not understand their language I knew what they were talking about. The woman was to marry the man and he was rejecting her because she was neither male nor female but both.

Hearing this I laughed loudly and repeated what I had heard to them. They in turn began to whisper to each other in Japanese. Disinterested, I turned again and saw the destruction continued. I told them, “We need to move on” and we walked away from the scene.

Dissociation

In this dream my husband and I went to visit my mother only to find that her house was occupied by a bunch of people who were associated with my sister. They were having a party and not leaving. My mother told me she was sorry. I was upset because were had planned to stay the night and now had to try and sleep despite the noise.

I spent the majority of the beginning of this dream demanding the party-goers be quiet and leave us alone. I yelled several times, “I just want to sleep!”

Eventually, I decided I would join the party because I obviously wasn’t going to get any sleep. Besides, they were interesting.

I ended up drinking more than I should until the wee hours of the night and became very fond of the people I was with. They were different than those I normally associated with, yet I found myself drawn to them.

As we left for the evening, I had to leave behind my new friends and rejoin my family. I felt torn and there was agony in my decision. I walked toward my “old” family carrying a large trailer behind me. It was as if I were the car and it (a huge trailer) was hitched to me. As I walked along the road, I encountered masses of people walking toward me – the wrong way. They were drunk and dazed and I remember thinking, “They don’t see me”.

The entire walk home one of my new friends accompanied me. He and I had a strong connection, one that made me feel alive again. It was like he was my soul mate (if such a thing exists).

When I got home I remember I forgot my keys but decided to not go back. I had crossed through a “gate” of some sort and to go back through it would mean going through a “check-point” and I didn’t want to risk getting caught. What I was getting caught for, I don’t know.

When I woke up I was very sad and questioning why. I felt completely and utterly dissociated from my life, my family, and my everyone I know. The feeling was so intensely real that I figured it must mean I needed to disconnect from my life and everyone in it. I believed this to the point that I even looked online for an apartment and told my husband I wanted to move out.

As the day wore on I lost the feeling from the dream and calmed down to the point that I rejected the idea of leaving it all behind. I will not be moving out or leaving behind my family and life. It was just dream, even if it was a very real and intense one.

I do long to reconnect with whoever it was I was with in that dream. Sigh.

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Musings and a Dream

An entire day has passed and now that the sun is setting I am feeling a familiar twinge from within; a whisper of things to come. It beckons me forward like the words from the Cold Play song that has been haunting me for several days now:

And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you need to go on
Start as you need to go on

Slowly my attention is being drawn back to where it was a little over a month ago – back to the present moment and to the stillness that I seem to live in despite the chaos of the world around me. No, I am not always still but my mind is so much more than it ever has been in my life. Normal, daily mind chatter is still almost nonexistent and if I am chattering to myself I seem to be having conversations with an invisible person.

I am being asked to review what I have accomplished; to see the progress I have made and to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done. I am trying but I am always the most critical of myself.

I am told it is all very normal what I am going through as I am moving beyond 3D life and into 4D. The somberness, the empty feeling I have been having, the feeling of not belonging, the boredom – all very normal. I have to live here in this world, though. I have to keep up the facade of agreeing with it for the time being. It will not be forever and if I can find the stillness within and continue to focus on my heart, it will be a smooth ride.

The buzzing around my head is coming back with ever more intensity as well. I feel again the opening up to a “download” approaching. Whether it will be as intense as the last, I don’t know, but I welcome it. I feel whole when I am connected and want more than anything to remain that way always.

Dream: Shift in 4D or Be Lost

With all the OBEs I had this morning, I nearly forgot about the dreams that preceded them. There was one that came back to me suddenly just now. One in which I was discussing the shift to 4D and watching oh so many be left behind, unable to make the shift and suffering in all sorts of ways because of it. I hate to say it was a doom and gloom dream, but in a lot of ways it was. In it we (me and others) reached out to help others and they slipped right through our fingers. I can still feel the despair and ache for the loss.

There remains an urgency from the dream that remains with me even now.

I also recall meeting my guide and seeing him close up. I can’t believe I had forgotten it as it was while OOB somewhere between set 1 and 2 of my adventures this morning. When I saw him he was wearing one of those old west mustaches that curled just a little on the ends. As he is blonde, the mustache was quite in contrast to his complexion and he reminded me a little bit of Ewan McGregor. I remember saying to him, “You have a mustache now? Nice”. In my mind I can see him clearly as he winks at me, a twinkle in his eye and I think now how much fun he must have changing his appearance on me all the time. He is still himself, of course, just wearing a different costume like we all are. In reality you can never hide from those who truly know you.

I wasn’t going to write this post but I feel so peaceful and calm right now and wanted to write a bit about what I left out from this morning. It has been a spectacular day!

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Dreams: Yearbooks and Graduation

Once again I am having dreams about graduation. It seems these kinds of dreams come in a sequence: looking for or going to school, going to class, and then graduation. It would be nice to know exactly what my degrees are. I would have a dozen at least by now!

Yearbooks

The first dream of the night was short. I was inside a home that reminded me of my mother’s house, but it wasn’t. My middle son was sitting on the floor next to an old, wooden chest. I asked him, “Have you seen my yearbooks?” He got this guilty look on his face and shrunk back from me. Knowing he had done something wrong, I investigated.

I found scattered across the floor at least five yearbooks. Sadly, my son had ripped the front covers of all of them except one. I gathered them up, asking him, “Why did you do that?” Irritated, I looked over them closely and put them in order. 2010, 2012, 2013…all the way to 2015. 2011 was in the wrong place, so I placed it after 2010 and looked at them stacked up in my arms.

They all had sky blue or medium blue and white covers. Some of the artwork on the cover was familiar and I saw my website name written across one of them. I placed the oldest, 2010, on the bottom of the pile and stacked them up in order with 2015 on the top. 2015 was not ripped and I seemed to cherish it the most.

I awoke a bit confused and my guide immediately said to me, “It’s alright”. I wondered why I would have such a dream and instantly fixated on the yearbooks and their dates. What was significant about 2010? I received a message via my heart center that I was struggling to let go of my past, still clinging to aspects of it that needed to be released in order for me to move forward. What those are, I did no know, but it appears I am working on clearing the last remnants while I sleep.

Graduation

The rest of my dreams were spent preparing for graduation and prom. There were many but I only remember one in detail.

I was inside a school. I was different from the other students, allowed to roam free of the rooms and go wherever I wanted while the other students could not. I remember leaving one classroom and heading for another where a lone student sat. He was young, kind of geeky, with long hair and seemed withdrawn and shy.

It appeared I was the only one graduating and so this was why I got so much freedom. It was the last day of school and everyone was preparing for prom. I was not interested in the classroom where all the students were preparing so kept visiting the young man in the other room.

After several visits with him he began to open up and become more friendly. On my last visit he pulled me close and put his hand on my rear. I remember thinking, “He likes me”. I was flattered but not interested. I said to him, “You are a Junior, right?” He said, “Yes”. I said back to him while I moved away from him, “Then you only have one more year to go” The message I sent with my words was that he was too young and inexperienced for me. Ha!

I went back into the other classroom where a group of immature girls were talking loudly and seemed like one instead of twenty. I told the teacher my observation and she told me to clear out my locker. So I went to it, opened it (somehow I knew the combination) and inside it was nearly empty except for some old cookies and snacks. I knew I had not been using it and had not been a “student” for a long time.

Then I was preparing for prom. I walked into a large space with the other students and we each went and picked up our dresses/tuxes. Mine was silky white with lace and a low-cut bodice. I went into a side room to try it on and a little boy assisted me. I remember looking in the mirror at my unfamiliar body wearing a bra and underwear.

The shy young man was spying on me during the dream and his nose was peculiar. He had this black, metal tube over it that was about four inches long. He took it off and then put it in his mouth like a cigar. His nose was very long and reminded me of Pinocchio.

Interpretation

When I awoke the dreams were still very vivid and my guide was close. I felt so comfortably drowsy and wanted to go back to sleep but couldn’t. My guide was communicating something but as it was via my heart I was too lazy to try and decipher it. The message got through regardless.

The upcoming prom in the dream symbolizes this change; an end and preparation for a new beginning. Pinocchio is representative of a lie being told, either by me to myself or from someone else to me. The cigar represents a relaxed state of mind and masculine energy. It could be that the masculine part of me can be deceptive if I let my guard down. The yearbooks in the previous post are representative of the old; the past. They are ripped and torn by my son, indicating a loss or destruction of the past. The present one is undamaged indicating focus upon the present. I show my interest in focusing on the present when I place it on top of the others.

It was made clear that I am coming to the end of yet another stage in this long progression of change. I am encouraged to not look back, only forward. Failures of the past are just that – in the past. The future is possibility and adventure. I can choose to play the game or not. Lessons are best learned in living life, not hiding from it. Focus on living is paramount now. Now is the future, not the past. Let go and move forward.

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Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

Last night was another long night of dreams. I once again awoke to tears. The clearing continues and I am so weary of it.

I did ask prior to sleep: If I can’t astral travel, can I at least lucid dream?

Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

I awoke at 5am feeling down about life in general. I felt the all-over body energy hug from my Companion as I let the disappointment in myself come to the surface. Overall, I felt/feel like a failure in this life. I asked my Companion why he created the personality and tendencies I have in this life. To me, they are too hard to overcome.

Buzzing energy began to increase around the top of my head and around the base of my spine. The energy around my spine wrapped around the front of my body and felt comforting. I fell asleep.

I found myself inside an unfamiliar house. There was a party going on, a celebration of the release of a sequence of movies. I overheard talk about my younger sister and realized that she was a part of this movie project and attending the party. I went in search of her.

I walked up carpeted stairs to a large room where most of the people were mingling. There was a group dancing and that is where I saw my sister. They were dancing oddly, with strange motions of the hands. It was almost like they were casting spells. I remember that as I watched I hoped no one would ask me to dance.

I ended up downstairs looking around. I wanted to snoop around in my sister’s things. I hadn’t seen her in so long. What was she like as a person now?

Standing there, the thought came to me that I was dreaming. I said aloud, “This is a dream”. Instantly the golden hued, brightly lit room turned dark and I couldn’t see. I moved toward the stairs in the dark and began to ascend.

I jumped up, trying to fly but found it difficult. I said aloud, “I can fly” and was able to hover for a moment but there must have been something wrong with my motivation to fly because I felt pulled back down.

At the top of the stairs I saw a window and headed for it. It was the only source of light and I could see the window clearly. I flew at it full speed reminding myself I could go through objects. When I got the window I went through it without incident and ended up floating outside in a courtyard. All I could see were the branches of a large tree. Beyond that, though, was a bright, golden light. I peered through the leafless branches and saw row upon row of giant sunflowers in a room not far away. I flew toward it.

The sunflowers were inside a room on the first floor. I had to go through another window to get to them.

I attempted a fly-through but was stopped this time and had to manually open the window and pull off the screen. When I went through, my foot caught on the screen. I could see the sunflowers and the large room. I recognized the room. I had been there in a previous dream.

Pulling against the screen, I struggled to get inside with no success. The effort of it caused me to lose motivation. I felt like a failure and gave up. The once bright room dimmed and turned black and I felt the familiar energy as I settled back into my body. I opened my eyes immediately and this caused my heart to feel like it was going to jump out of my chest. I checked my heart rate and it was steady, nothing like how it felt in my chest. I rolled over, disappointed in the entire experience.

Sunflower symbolism – a source of spiritual guidance pointing you in the right direction. Times may be difficult but you will persevere. They also symbolize warmth, abundance and prosperity.

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Confronting and Clearing

I had a very active dreams last night. I was so involved in them that it felt as if I had lived days in just one night.

Confronting and Clearing

I started with a dream in which I threatened to leave my husband and he called my bluff. I was so angry at him because I could not leave him. I would not leave my children or break up my family. I remember calling him my wife several times and feeling a familiarity with this notion but not understanding why.

I then found myself standing outside next to a young, black woman. I remember that she was very pretty, with curly, black hair pulled up in a pony tail. She was wearing high heels and a skirt and was nervous. She was on the phone at a phone booth in New York. I remember knowing her “story” as if it were my own. She left home for New York to live her dream and was calling her grandmother to ask her for money to help her pay the bills. She carried in her hand a pile of opened letters (bills) and I knew she had asked her grandmother for help in the past. If she didn’t get help this time, she would lose her home and be out on the streets. Her worry was my worry.

I heard her grandmother talking to her on the phone saying how much she missed her and how she wished she would come home. At the same time I felt the girl’s anxiety. Should she ask her for money? Should she disappoint her grandmother again? I wanted to help her.

Then I was her and staring at this man. He was tall with lots of hair on his face. He had so much fluff on his face that he looked like a cat! He was saying to me/her that he could help. I saw in my mind him helping a small mouse find its way out of a maze. I remember thinking about the symbolism of cats – their fierce independence. Maybe this fierce independence could sometimes be a flaw?

I returned to mulling over the first dream for some reason and my anger woke me up. I felt my guide and he said something and I immediately calmed down. I recognized the anger was misplaced. I also recognized the dreams were not about just me, but about others in this world. I knew I was not alone. My issues were also others’ issues. We were all the same.

Other Dreams

I returned to sleep and had a series of dreams involving my family. I was helping them by having them do the purification I did. There was a schedule issue and I ended up driving my brother very early in the morning – 5:30am. When we got there we had to turn around and I was driving and very disoriented and upset. I ended up crashing the car because I changed my mind about taking an exit.

I rushed to check on my brother and he was fine. The back end of my car had been crushed but then it fixed itself and I was back in the car. I went up another exit ramp and it was made up rocks and sand and there was a chair in the middle that had a message – “Road closed”. I stopped and backed up and then just parked. We saw a large semi-truck with its back opened. A man was telling everyone he needed to get rid of the stuff inside. It was all free, so I went to browse.

I had a blast picking out clothes and things and had such a huge pile that I could not carry it all. I remember picking out clothes and jewelry for me and also clothes for my mom and husband.

In the end, when the shop was empty, I began to leave and saw laying on the ground a miniature elephant figurine. Or so that is what I thought it was. When I looked closer, the elephant was being eaten by thousands of ants. It was real and had been alive! I stared in amazement at the tiny, perfect-looking elephant for some time, wondering why it was there.

There was then a scuffle behind me and I turned and saw someone pointing a gun at the guy who had been giving all the stuff away. I watched, wondering if I should be worried.

When I awoke I heard my guide say, “The bus route is changing”. I felt that this meant that a shift was in the works. It could be an individual shift, but likely a group one.

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The Trap of the Human Condition

Honey, all the movements you’re starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I’ve made
See it all disappear without trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you need to go on
Start as you need to go on

I awoke from an upsetting dream with this song in my head. The above chorus was the main part I heard, but I also heard:

You said I’m gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for

The Trap of the Human Condition

The dream was disturbing because in it a father, who resembled Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), was selling his children to the sex industry. He had already sold his two youngest children and was in the process of selling his pre-teen daughter. I watched the process, disgusted but not interfering. It consisted of giving the girl money in exchange for seemingly harmless things and slowly increasing it to more and more sexual acts. This dream continued for some time but I will not go into detail here because it is disturbing.

I then walked to a black, wrought iron gate, and stood next to a young girl dressed in black (she was the same girl as before). I spoke to a group about the importance of education and the flaws of the system. Already perturbed about the sex industry experience I had, I was very insistent that the education system be changed. The first thing was to separate education from all sports and extracurricular activities, but specifically sports. This was challenged by someone and I explained my stance on the matter saying sports distracted from education.

I awoke with the above song in my mind and feeling very upset about humanity in general. I understood immediately that I was reviewing challenges of humanity. I was reminded of all the flaws that exist and became very upset and hopeless about humanity’s future. I was especially upset about the roles of the corporation and big business in their exploitation of the human condition. In fact, I became so disillusioned that I wished something to happen that would wipe out the human race almost completely so that it was forced to start again. I also did not want to be a part of humanity as the challenges are so high right now that the task of “saving” humanity seems outright impossible.

My Companion was close and I told him, “I don’t want to be a part of this”. I felt his understanding. I continued to be overwhelmed. I recognized that this reality was purposeful and that I was rejecting it and the thousands of lives it took me to get to this point. I felt I had failed the test of being human. I had allowed myself to become trapped by it.

The song continued to flood my thoughts:

And I know the mistakes that I’ve made
See it all disappear without trace

All I could think was, “Why?” He said to me, “We cannot know who we are without first knowing who we aren’t”. I thought about it and understood but it didn’t make me feel better.

We (humanity) are so much more capable than this.

Integration of the Old

These dreams are a continuation of a purging and integration process that has been on-going. I recognized my part in the dwindling spiral that has been humanity. But I am tired of looking at these things. It seems that is all I do in my sleep. Review. Analyze. Discuss. Repeat. Just when I think I have broken through all the impossible barriers created over many lifetimes, I seem to stumble onto more. When will it ever end?

I asked for it to stop. I am so tired of this process.

My Companion explained that I must integrate the Old completely. What I am beginning to understand is that this integration is not just of the old me but the old (3D) world as a whole. It is evident that this individual process I am going through is directly linked to the process the world is going through. The hopelessness, the despair, the feelings of overwhelm – these are being felt world-wide at ever increasing levels.

Considering the many thousands of years humanity has been on a downward spiral, the extent of time it will take to heal is in itself overwhelming. The end of this life will not see it healed. Sigh.

Sorry about the sombre post but this is where I am at today.

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Bear, John

The “dry spell” continues. Communication and connection with my Companion, guides and Team is almost nonexistent. I can initiate communication with my Companion and he will respond but he feels so very distant and the connection so weak that I wonder if it is real or if I am desperately making it up so that I feel better. Similarly, very few energy fluctuations are occurring. I only have occasional pulling and buzzing sensations around my head. These come and go and seem insignificant compared to past sensations. There is no indication that this will end, ether. Finally, there has been no contact with my Team/Council in some time. This doesn’t bother me, really, but it coincides with a cessation of channeled messages.

Last night I initiated contact with my Companion because I have been especially struggling this last week with low energy, lack of motivation, an overall hopeless disposition and an empty, disconnected feeling. I recognize that during this time I must travel this “road” seemingly alone, as it is my life to live. The tools have been given to me, I just need to use them. I try and feel I am doing much better than in the past, but it is so very hard to maintain the inner calm when I feel so disconnected from Source.

I was reminded to stay focused on paving a “new road” for myself, which I am doing with a new business venture. I recognize that if I want to change my life, I have to change my habits and step outside my comfort zone. This is especially hard and I feel like I am drawing straws. I heard a Christmas song in my head and the phrase, “Slow and steady wins the race”. The latter is in reference to me feeling I need to do everything all at once. I do not like having  a long “to do list” left unfinished, something this new business venture has me doing quite often while I tend to my children and daily family responsibilities. The former seems to be a reminder that the pay-off will be worth it in the end. I sure hope so.

Bear, John

Before bed I appealed to my Companion, asking for more connection and reassurance. It was granted.

I had a dream in which my mother told me that a teacher friend of hers quit his job unexpectedly. I remember telling her, “Sounds like he awakened”. She agreed.

We walked into a cafeteria-like setting where many older people were seated. I saw my mother’s friend but “he” turned out to be a “she”. She was short, probably only 5ft tall, and wearing a red robe. Her hair was cut short and she reminded me of a monk, except that she was female.

She invited me to sit down, so I did. She turned to me and then began to channel a message for me from my Companion. As she spoke, she was simultaneously drawing something on a piece of paper.

Her message is lost to me now but I recall the gist of it. The message was that I was not alone and to be patient. This break will not last forever. I am loved and cherished and forever connected to Source, even if I do not sense it at this time.

When the woman was finished channeling, she showed me what she had drawn. I saw a perfect portrait of the face of a man with a short beard and piercing eyes. She said to me, “Bear, John”. I remember seeing that the man had what appeared to be a large, grizzly bear blended into his hair, almost like a bear hat but the way it was drawn, the bear and the man were one.

I recognized, instantly, who the man was. I also recognized the significance of the bear.

I began to sob in the dream and could not stop crying. The crying woke me up and my eyes were still wet. I was aware of my Companion close by and my body was covered in loving energy. I felt to be wrapped in his embrace.

I connected hibernation with the bear and this made me sad. I don’t want to hibernate.

Prayer Book

Saddened by the message, I fell back to sleep and into another dream. In this dream I was walking through a library. A woman bumped into me and turned and said, “Excuse you” in a rude way. I got angry and began to yell at her, wanting to say, “You bumped into me!” but instead said, “Oh sorry, I tripped”.

I continued to talk, but quietly as if to myself, saying I was looking for a book my friend left me. I located it on the bottom shelf. It said, “Prayer Book” and was a small, maybe 8in square, and white and not very thick.

I sat on the floor and opened up the book. A woman was suddenly there with me and I told her, “A friend of mine left me a message”. I pulled out a hand written note tucked inside the pages. I do not remember what the hand written note said now. I just remember there was an entire story scrawled in ink with notes and pictures.

The dream ended and I awoke and knew the hand written note was Psalm’s 7.

Feeling sad still, I saw in my mind’s eye, “30 days”. This made me even more sad because I interpreted it to mean 30 days of “rest”. 30 days of feeling how I feel right now. If I have only felt this way for a little over a week, that leaves a very long time to go.

by

A New Twist on Dreams

I had a string of very vivid dreams last night. I also slept through the night without waking.

Aftermath

In this dream I recall fleeing some kind of battle or war. I ended up in the mountains. I could see the valley below with a stream or river running through it. The colors are interesting here. The grass seemed tinged with blue and the terrain was rocky, colored in grays and pinks. It was as if someone painted it in watercolor. It did not seem like Earth.

I was with a group on the side of the mountain looking down. We joined another group who was struggling to survive. I remember helping them figure out ways to find food. The environment was harsh; going out at night very dangerous and during the day the only food was small, edible plants which were hard to find.

The group lived in a home with glass walls overlooking the valley below. I remember standing in a room looking down into the valley and discussing the plan of action: create snares in hopes of catching an animal. Problem was we would have to go out at night to set them.

We went out at night and this is when I remember seeing the tiger. It was stalking us. I yelled out in alarm and one of the group members lunged at it. The dream ended.

tiger

Crumbling Bathroom

This next dream was of a bathroom. I walked inside and it resembled exactly the bathroom I used in my mother’s house for much of my youth. It was in disrepair, though, the sheet rock exposed and crumbling about two feet from the ceiling. The pipes were leaky and there was a feeling that the whole ceiling would collapse at any moment.

I saw a woman – blonde, kind of overweight – and told her, “I’m not going in there. It is going to cave in any minute”.

I spent much of this dream analyzing why this bathroom was falling apart and how. I figured out that the whole floor had shifted down and caused the gap at the ceiling. I can still see the bathroom in such vividness. It resembled the bathroom before it was renovated – pink wallpaper and yellowing tiles. Very 1980s. It literally looked like someone was demolishing it piece by piece.

Walburg

This was the final dream. I was driving my ex-husband’s black, Nissan pickup truck. It was the truck we owned together when we were first married. I remembered it in every detail down to the custom made seat covers and gray dashboard.

I was going somewhere on a road trip. I recall entering a small town and thinking, “Something is going to happen”. I had a feeling that I could accept whatever happened. I could accept a delay and stay if need be.

I stopped in a parking lot near a creek. When I tried to turn the truck back on it made an odd noise and then nothing happened. The engine would not roll over yet the truck still had power and the radio still played.

I thought, “Great. Guess I am staying a while”.

An older man came up and asked me if I needed help. I said I did and he immediately began to look at the engine. I waited, fumbling with my clothes. I was not wearing any pants and was trying to find some shorts but they seemed way too small.

The man came around and told me that it was this piston-like thing that needed repair. He showed me a picture of the entire engine layout but it was too detailed for me to understand what he wanted me to look at. He said the part was inexpensive and that he would get it fixed. I was happy and thanked him.

I went inside the store I was parked at. There were rows upon rows of DVDs for rent. It reminded me of the old school rental places in the small town I grew up in. I knew though that I was in Walburg, not my hometown.

Up at the front counter I began talking to the clerk. Outside the window I saw buzzards jumping and fighting for scraps of some food. I pointed at them and looked out the glass door for a better view. There was this lone red hawk being bullied by the buzzards. I said, “Look! There is a hawk! They are trying to get him! He has a sharp beak, they better watch out!”. Sure enough, the hawk attacked and kept the buzzards at bay. I felt bad for the hawk, though. He seemed unable to fly.

I then noticed there were peach and pear trees all around the store. The peaches were ripe and I said, “You should pick those!” They were huge and looked delicious. We went outside and the clerk picked them. He gave me one and I took a bite and then ate the whole thing. It was so juicy!

I then entered this other building and a woman was behind a register. I browsed what appeared to be book but I don’t quite remember. There were two girls and one got in trouble and the woman was making her clean up a mess. I watched and the girls were passing notes. I intercepted one and read it. It said, “I love you” then in different handwriting, “I love you, too”. I was touched and told the woman who said, “Read the back”. I did, but can’t remember now what it said.

The last thing I remember in this dream was deciding I wanted to stay in Walburg.

A New Twist

Though these dreams are “normal” for the most part, there is a big difference here. Though I do not specifically remember this from a particular dream in this sequence, I recall seeing high above me two beings. They were floating and semi-transparent. They appeared gray, like ghosts, and we observing each of my dreams.

What is even stranger here is that I recognized one of these beings to be me. The other was my Companion.

It is very obvious to me now that these dreams were created for the other me, the one experiencing the dreams. The observer me was learning about the other me by watching how I reacted to the scenarios I was presented with. I recall the conclusion made by the observer me: I was not resisting what was being shown but accepting of and open to the lessons. I was noting symbols as they appeared. Symbols such as the tiger, the peaches, the buzzards, the hawk, the truck, the bathroom, the letter with the message of love. All of these things were noted by the observer and the experiencer.

Upon waking I knew what the dreams represented.

The war zone was a memory of some other time and/or experience. The bathroom was symbolic of the breaking down of my distant past; a healing of this time in my life. The Walburg dream is also healing of the past, specifically with my ex. I was wiling to accept this past and love myself despite the “mistakes” I made.