Category Archives: Dreams

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OBEs: Body Troubles

After a night of intense dreams and the typical wake-up for my briefing this morning at 5am, I fell into the in-between where my guide and I conversed for some time. I heard my guide say to me, “You can go anywhere you want, whenever you want”. In hearing that, I attempted to launch myself out of my body in one giant leap only to find my exit was blocked by the body. It was like a tall, impenetrable, invisible wall. I wanted out!

Observing Another Me

I then found myself watching a scene play out in front of me. I was the main character but I was not in the body experiencing myself as the character but rather above and to the side as an observer. The man who was me was in the midst of a lucid dream in which he had just recently awakened. He was standing next to a woman who was his wife I think and she was the typical dream dummy – blank face, zombie-like expression and slow-motion, puppet-like actions. There was a child as well, but the focus here was on the woman. He was trying to get her attention but she did not respond to him.

Then, suddenly, she had in her hand a pistol. It was a pretend pistol, though, and looked like one of the child’s toys. She took it and shot herself in the left hand, right in the center of the palm. She then took her hand and held it up high. Blood was pouring out of the wound. She took her hand and put it in the face of the man.

The man was confused. Why did she do this?

As if his question were being answered, the woman suddenly had in her other hand a folded up note. She began to hand it to the man.

As the observer, I suddenly was very interested in this note. I wanted to know what it said!

I pulled my energy in towards me, like summoning it from beyond myself into my center. I then rolled to my right and off the bed.

I had instant, clear vision. The colors were golden and the room and its contents seemed to spin around me. Or was that me spinning? I could feel people there with me, but could not look at them because of it.

There was a feeling that I was not OOB. “This is real”, I thought. I then bumped into the corner of a table. It felt solid and the impact on my hip caused me to pull back from the sting of it. Still spinning with the bright light flooding my eyes, I felt a bit disoriented.

“No, I am OOB”, I thought, “but this sure does feel real!”

I immediately headed out of the room as fast as I could. I felt rushed, as if I had something important to do.

I then became aware of a strange sensation. I felt a part of myself trying to break off. I wanted free of it but it would not budge. Instead, I felt wracked by intense, sporadic vibrations that threw me into more of a tailspin and made my vision begin to fade out. Then, I could not breathe and began to gasp for air. I felt my physical body very acutely at this time but was also very much aware of my being out of it. I was literally split and there was a distinct dislike for my physical body and a resistance to it.

Body Troubles

I came back into my body and took a deep breath, still feeling a constriction in my throat area. I noticed my throat hurt but I didn’t care. I also felt odd sensations in the lower three chakras, like they were breaking apart. There was a deep aching in my second and solar plexus.

I wanted to go out again.

With the thought, I waited for a bit and then, as if knowing the right time, I rolled backward again, right out of my bed and my body.

This time I had no vision and I felt something wrapped around my neck. It felt to be my blanket and it coiled up tightly around my throat. Since I only had mental vision, I pulled myself hard against the blanket in an attempt to free myself from it. I requested clarity to try and gain some stability (should have asked for stability), but nothing happened. I had to free myself from this blanket!

I walked around the front of the bed and pulled the blanket over my head. It released and I tossed the blanket on the bed and headed toward the door. Again I asked for clarity, but something didn’t feel right. The vibrations were again wracking my body and I felt to be spinning and standing still at the same time.

With that I began to again feel desperate for air. I knew it was my physical body doing this to me and so I tried to get away from it so its hold on me would be less. Unfortunately, the body took a huge gasp for breath and this pulled me back into it.

Realization

Back in my body, I wanted to make another attempt but felt there was something I needed to know. So, I changed positions and swallowed hard, noting my dry and sore throat.

I thought back on the experiences and wondered why I felt such strange spinning and shaking.

Then it hit me: It was my etheric body that was causing the crazy shaking. I was attempting to drop it, to throw it off and be free of it. The sensations fit. I felt like a snake shedding its skin and finding it won’t come all the way off. So it stuck to me and pulled on me, shaking me and disrupting my progression.

In my past OBEs I have never had such a feeling. I would just move into the next level, the astral, without issue. However, this was more of me throwing off this lower body rather than moving into the next. It felt like I was trying to dissolve it altogether. Is that even possible?

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Dream: Flooded Car

For the first time in a while I remembered a full night of dreams. I will focus only on one since it was an answer to a question.

Flooded Car

In this dream I first remember being told about a huge flood that was stopping traffic at certain intersections. I then saw in front of me a road and without knowing why, I began to drive at high speeds toward a part of the road that was partially submerged. What is interesting here is that I was flying, not driving at this time. I never actually saw my car but knew it to be my silver Prius.

When I hit the part of the road that was flooded, I was stopped by the water. I don’t remember being in the river of water, just that I was now without my car. I saw other cars that had been caught, lined up along the side, but did not see mine.

I then spent a while trying to find out where my car went. I ended up inside a stark warehouse asking different people what happened to my car. I saw in front of me a list of different car types and their corresponding storage areas where they were placed to dry out. I could not find my car as it was by license plate and I did not know mine.

I began to wander through the building and into rooms. In some rooms there were household items and furniture piled up with tags on them. I passed through this room without much interest.

I went through various levels, sometimes up and down, without finding my car. Finally, I was outside the warehouse being shown where my car was. But when I located it, it was my SUV, not my Prius. The Prius had been totalled, its electrical systems destroyed by the water.

Conversation with Guide

I awoke in the midst of conversing with my guide about the above dream. I recognized the dream was in response to a question and request I had made. My request was that I go quicker through whatever transition it is that I am going through. The question was, “Why is it going so slow?”

It is obvious to me that the Prius represents my individual path and the SUV is that of my path with my family. The flooded roads indicate areas of high emotional charge that have yet to be released and perhaps even the Ego’s hold over these areas of my life. The road was not completely submerged, only halfway.

I threw myself down the partially submerged road and got stuck, my car ultimately was totalled. This symbolizes what would happen if I were allowed to go quicker through this transformation. I would stall out, overwhelmed by emotions, literally drowned in them. I won’t say it means I would “die” but it definitely indicates an overwhelm so big that I would be unable to cope with it.

Then I was shown the SUV as an answer to what I need to be doing now – focusing on this path I am currently on with my family. The rooms in which I walked where furniture and household items were stored symbolize areas of my current life that are emotional triggers for me (there was another dream that explored my connection to my children after this one).

I was not very happy with the answer I received because when I am not experiencing changes related to my transformation, I feel bored and restless. I was reminded to focus on my heart and it helped and now I feel fine, but upon waking I was very upset. Slow and steady wins the race I guess. Sigh.

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OBE: Practicing Multidimensionality

After the weird sleep paralysis episode and then being engaged in a lesson about confronting death, I went OOB three times.

Two Short Projections

I found myself in a semi-lucid dream in which I was watching a town full of people who had gone crazy. They were all starting fires within their community and nothing seemed to break them from the trance they were in.

I then shifted into a room and which I was talking to a massive Great Dane. He was as tall as me but I was a dwarf and male. We were discussing the issues of the world, specifically a war and the devastating results of it. We eventually decided that we needed to change bodies. I went into his and he into mine. He then took a large carpet and wrapped me inside of it. At this point I remember trying to figure out who I was. Was I the dog or the man?

This is when I became aware of the vibrations which were intense. My body felt to be jumping and I wondered briefly if I were really awake.

I decided to sit up and get out of my body. When I did, I worried I would sit up physically and stop the projection. It felt so real!

Thankfully, I was able to get up and I went out of the bedroom. I immediately began to chant, “OM”. Unfortunately, it did not have the affect I wanted and I was pulled unevenly back into my body.

Upon re-entry I heard my guide say, “Not now” in reference to me wanting to go back to the place where I had met up with my Team the last time I projected. I understood why. We were practicing something, but I could not remember what.

Not long afterward, I projected again, sitting up out of my body like I did before. This time I did not chant but thought that I wanted to go to a higher level than I had previously been on. I ended up walking on soft grass. Unfortunately, my vision was inhibited but it did slowly begin to clear and I could make out a tall tree in the center of the grass field I was in. I touched it and said aloud, “Ok, what did you want to tell me?”

I got no response and my vision quickly faded out.

Practicing Multidimensionality

When I came back to my body I once again felt the weird shaking vibrations. This time I could also distinctly feel energy spots on my body and there was a sense that I was being adjusted and worked upon.

I projected quite easily after that, just popping out of my body and moving directly out of my bedroom to the area just above the stairs. I couldn’t see again but wanted to float down to the first floor. I jumped up and looked over the side and for a moment thought, “I will fall”. There was a thought in response that said, “But I can fly”.

I successfully floated down and landed in the living area and my vision turned on crisply. I saw my husband and daughter and could also see my youngest. When I saw them, they greeted me. My daughter said, “Mommy!” I said to her, “Want to come with me?” She said, “Yes!”

Eagerly, she ran to the front door and threw it open. She was out of it before I could catch up.

I went outside and it was a brilliant day with bright blue skies, puffy clouds and vividly green trees. It resembled very much our neighborhood. Oddly, it was horribly windy, so much so that the wind hit us with tons of resistance making it hard to stay stable.

My husband came out behind me and I watched as my daughter propelled herself into the air and reached her hand out to me. I jumped up, flying toward her, and grabbed her hand. I looked back and my husband was heading the opposite direction on foot. He left the door open and I almost said to him, “Shut the door, Elek will get out” and then I remembered, “Even if he does, it won’t matter, he can’t get hurt here”.

I continued on with my daughter and we flew up above the treetops. I felt a tugging on my other arm and looked back. There she was pulling me the other way. There were two of her! I laughed and pulled the other her along with us as we soared down the streets.

The wind was still blowing fiercely and there was a thought that came with my inspection of it, “It is your body. You are sensing the vibrations”. And I knew suddenly that I was both experiencing this astral experience while also experiencing what my body was experiencing. I was in two places at once.

I then saw a woman place something on her front door step and shut the door. Curious, I began to move toward the house but felt, “No”. I ignored it, though, and kept going to the door. My vision darkened and I was back in my body which was shifting violently with vibrations. If I had not known what the vibrations were I would have thought I was having a seizure.

After this projection I heard my guide say, “You should get up now and write this down”. I didn’t though. I lay there for some time enjoying the energy blanket, surprised that I was able to remember everything that happened.

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Dream: 40-Year-Old Virgin

I again experienced the strange separation from my body as the night before, but this time it was only once and I resisted very little. I did resist, though, as the feeling is somewhat disturbing.

Interestingly, I remembered several dreams upon waking. I have determined that the dreams I am remembering are meant to help me with this transition by allowing me, this Earth Self, to play out scenarios and sort through beliefs and worry. Technically, these dreams are doing what psychologists say dreams are meant to do.

40-Year-Old Virgin

One particularly vivid dream I remember occurred this morning and was the last dream I recall having. In this dream, I was inside a small, yellow-lit house, in the kitchen with a man. He was older than me, about 40, and confided in me that he was still a virgin. I remember that at this point in the dream he began to resemble Steve Carell and the movie, “41-Year-Old Virgin” was prominent in my mind. I am not attracted to Steven Carell in the least but in this dream there was an attraction I could feel in my root and second chakras. I recall feeling very alive and vibrant but not being overcome by desire or anything like it. I felt compassion and sympathy toward this man and also felt a very strong connection with him.

The dream seemed at first to be moving toward the sexual. We kissed and touched one another, but it was all very gentle and exploratory – there was no hot and heavy passion or flames of desire. It was like we were getting to know one another and exploring the familiarity that existed between us. It was very much like we were two teenage virgins connecting with the opposite sex for the first time.

I remember deciding that we should stop exploring one another. I was also aware of my middle son being nearby and something about his presence caused me to think of my husband. My relationship with my husband was what caused me to pull back and I remember thinking and saying, “I have to end it with him”. There was such finality in what I said/thought. I also felt to be doing the right thing because I did not want to hurt him or cause him to feel betrayed by me going ahead with another relationship while still in one with him.

At this point there was a knock on the door. It was a friend. I began to busily clean up the living area, sweeping up debris and cleaning off the furniture. I moved upstairs and I overheard the Steven Carell look-alike complaining and reprimanding my son. My stomach flip flopped and I thought to myself, “There is no point in starting a new relationship. They [men] are all the same”. Yet there was recognition that the words being said, the harsh criticism coming out of his mouth, were in fact my own words.

When I went back downstairs I was questioned by my friend, “Where were you? We have been trying to find you since last night”. I realized it was already mid-morning and so I told her, “We fell asleep”. I had a worry that someone would think we had been doing something wrong but then I knew we had not.

Interpretation

When I woke from this dream I thought, “I have to leave him” but it did not scare me and now, as I think about it, I don’t think that is necessarily what the dream means. To dream that someone is a virgin denotes integrity and honesty with one’s self. It suggests that there is an “ideal” that is being sought out in a situation. In this case, within a relationship. So I am looking at what I would like to have versus what is reality. The reality being that I am not innocent in how my relationships turn out. The statement, “I have to leave him” is representative of the Old me, not my actual husband. I have to leave behind the old me, the old habits, beliefs and criticisms, in order to achieve my ideal.

The Steven Carell look-a-like was most likely a version of myself, the me I connected with in order to explore this area of my life.

When I got online to peruse the news I found this article – Heartache for Japan’s Real-Life 40-Year-Old -Virgins. It was the first article I saw and I actually laughed when I saw it.

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Dream: Activation of Purpose

I had this dream the same night as the dream memory of the Great Galactic War. The date was May 21st.

Activation of Purpose

The scene in front of me appeared to be of a disaster area. Spread in front of me was a roadway which had been lifted up and tossed over in all directions. Chunks of road could be seen that were as big as a car. People were standing stranded on the roadside, crowded up against the side of a mountain or cliff of some sort. The other side of the road was a steep drop-off. Peculiarly, there were no cars.

It was obvious the people had been there a long time. The part of the road that went over a ravine was destroyed and there appeared to be no way in or out of the area. Some people were in apathy, lingering together in huddled groups. Others still had hope and were trying to figure a way out. Still others had decided they were going to make the best of it and they began to pick on the weaker individuals, stealing from them and roughing them up.

I see the chaos and the lack of organization, of unity, and I begin to speak to everyone about how important it is not to give up and to work together. I become very passionate about what I am saying.

I awaken in the midst of speaking to the group. I am saying, “We must unite. We have to unite. Without us, mankind will perish”.

It is then that I realize who I really am. I am distinctly aware of this new me, this other me, and the contrast between the old me and the new. The New me has arrived.

Processing It All

The amount of awareness is indescribable. There is really no way to impart to you the evolution that appeared to take place at that point. I knew instantly, without doubt, that I was, am, a Starseed. The importance of my mission was so strong in me that it was like a light went off in my world.

This, I am told, is part of the activation process but there is so much more going on that is still yet to be completely revealed. There is a delicate balance that exists within me at this point between the old and the new. The old is not yet ready to be assimilated. The Ego is strong as is the mind. It is imperative that each step is taken slowly in order to procure acceptance.

Ultimately, there will be a swap in energies, a complete transfer from the old to the new.

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Dream: The Great Galactic War

I had this dream over a week ago and am just now feeling okay about posting it. I believe it was a memory mixed with a message and so took it as such. This dream was unlike any other I have had and I am still not sure how to categorize my experience, so I am calling it semi-lucid.

The Great Galactic War

My vision blacked out and I felt transported somewhere else. When I opened my eyes, I was standing inside an immense canyon, the walls of which towered hundreds of feet, maybe even a mile, above my head on either side of me. I was immediately reminded of the Grand Canyon here on Earth, but since I have never been at the bottom of it, I thought to myself, “This must be what it would be like”.

It was then that I realized I was standing with someone and we were in the midst of an important conversation. I spoke to this person as if I were reciting the lines from some long ago play. We spoke about something similar to a vaccine, though I don’t believe that is the word we used. It was a genetic vaccine, not a vaccine against a virus, and it had been tested on a certain individual to see if they were susceptible to its effects.

Slowly, I got out small vials filled with different colored, clear liquid. The first was a yellowish color. I said, “No effect”, and then put it in a nap sack I was wearing over my right shoulder. I then took out another one, this one a vivid blue. “No effect”, and put it in the nap sack. I did this six more times, each time saying, “No effect”.

I don’t recall now what the person I was talking to looked like, only that I knew them. In my recollection of this event they are not there at all, as if I am talking to thin air.

The individual I am talking to makes a comment to me about how odd it is that the individual we tested was not susceptible to any of these vaccines. In my mind I am reminded of the human race and think that it must be the human genome we are talking about. I was fascinated.

Then my attention is drawn to a tall, gangly looking individual who stood a good seven or eight feet tall. He was most definitely not human, his green mottled skin very obvious as were his strange facial features. His head was elongated and sloped backward and his eyes were dark and hooded. I could see no nose and only a thin outline for a mouth.

I knew this creature, this reptilian humanoid, was our prisoner. Had we tested the vaccines on him? I didn’t think so. He had something contained within his head, though, something vile and dangerous. My immediate thought was that it was a bomb and my companion began to tug at the reptile’s head to try and lift off the outer portion of it. I was a bit horrified as I could see inside the reptile’s skull and see the pinkish tissue of his brain.

Two sections came off before the reptile insisted he continue and do it himself. He pulled apart the hemispheres of his brain, parting them like water, and pulled out a small, circular device.

I woke suddenly upon seeing it, thinking it was a bomb and he was about to destroy all of us. In my mind’s eye I saw his eye, looking at me.

Once I awoke, I knew my dream was a memory of the Great Galactic War and that I had seen a reptilian E.T. I decided to paint the eye I saw because I could not get it out of my head. It was so peculiar and I had no fear when I saw it.

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Contract Negotiations

Written from the perspective of the Old.

Semi-Lucid Dream

Prior to sleep, I had been told that more negotiations would occur through the night, commencing at midnight. I woke at 1am to a terrible thunderstorm and when I returned to sleep I projected several times. I abandoned each projection upon reminding that it was only needed for check-in. It was then determined a semi-lucid state was best in order to protect the Ego-self from the brunt of the negotiations.

During the semi-lucid state I stood in front of a mirror talking to myself. Yet the visage in the mirror was not me, didn’t even resemble me. The image was of a bald, very pale individual with a strangely proportioned face. The eyes were almost normal, as were all the features, but it was obvious to me that this individual was not me nor was it human.

This otherworldly being spoke to me and we conversed about planetary events and my mission while visiting Earth. It was so foreign to me that despite being in a semi-lucid state, my Ego-self kept reacting and interfering with communication.

The dream then shifted to a classroom environment. On one side was a figure, the one who I had been talking to in the mirror. He (I will say He but really this being was androgynous) had in front of him pieces of paper with odd looking writing scribbled on them. There was cut pieces of dark hair strewn across the paper so I could not make out the symbols. I was told, “You are not allowed to see this yet”. I did not object. I was distracted by a group of children being attended to by a tall, dark haired male.

I went to the group, intent on doing my part and was told, “I have this, go meet with him”.

I then looked out the window and knew there would be a storm at 4:30pm the next day. I said, “There is going to be a storm at 4:30, good thing I only work until 3:30. Maybe I will leave early just to be safe”. I then turned back to the man at the table who was waiting for me.

I went over the man at the table and sat down in front of him. He put in front of me a very long piece of paper and we went over it together. I don’t remember the content of the sections now, but I do remember that the first two were quickly agreed upon, even though I was unfamiliar with a term used in the second. The third section, however, was about changes that would be made in my life. He explained, “You will be asked to do things that you would not normally do”. I asked, “Like what?” but he would not answer. I said, “Then no deal”.

I awoke knowing why I objected. The issue was my family. I objected to them being split apart and my current personality was dead set against that happening. It was discussed during briefing and put on hold for further consideration. I was not allowed to remember the discussion.

Contract Negotiations

The contract is not yet final and I remembered that the finalization period was set to occur the end of July this year. My memory instantly went to a dream I saw as precognitive at the time, though then I thought it meant my mother’s death. What it actually symbolized was my own “death” and it outlines the time-period specifically stating the 21st to the “end of July” which in the dream was explained as the time in which full transition would be made.

My other self then took over conversations with the being from my dream, who I realized was one of the members of my Council. It was explained that my old self was not yet ready to see him. Therefore, what was seen was created as an acceptable version to the old self.

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MOAB

For the past two nights I have slept super hard, so hard that it is difficult to recall my dreams. I wake knowing I have had in-depth conversations, lessons and interactions with my HS and guides, but specifics are lost very quickly. I feel as if it is erased purposefully, only remnants allowed to remain.

One of those remnants, or pieces of clarity, remained this morning. In this dream communication I was discussing my blog with someone and read aloud a comment I had received.

The comment was: “It looks like she’s of MOAB”.

I spent the remainder of the dream trying to decipher MOAB. I was certain it was spiritual in nature. I probably repeated the acronym ten times in the dream, usually letter by letter.

It may not be significant but my husband and I were discussing the LDS religion when I remembered the dream.

MOAB

I did not recall this portion of the dream until almost an hour after waking. My first thought upon waking was, “Isn’t that a city in Utah?” But I immediately threw that out because in the dream it was in all caps.

So I looked it up. This is what I discovered. I may not have found all significance:

1. Mother of all bombs or Massive Ordinance Air Blast

2. Explicit sexual term (I won’t write it out) meant as an insult

3. The seed of the father, the eldest son of Lot (Genesis 19:37)

4. A plain opposite of Jericho mentioned in the old testament;  the desirable land. Source

5. Represents the Protestant religion and referred to in a prophecy about the “End Days”. Source

6. City in Utah.

Biblical References

I would not call myself a religious person. In fact, I avoid organized religion in general. However,  I keep running into biblical names and references in my dreams and spiritual encounters. I cannot avoid coming to the conclusion that there is some significance in this. But what?

The feeling from my dream was this term, MOAB, was important. So important in fact that I repeated it to myself over and over again in order to remember it. I also attributed it to something spiritually significant. Other than that, I am at a loss. I guess the term will join the other names I have received along the way until their significance is revealed.

If anyone has any idea what this term could signify, please let me know.

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Dreams: Reorganization and Premature Baby

Last night was again a night of frequent vivid dreams.

Reorganization

I was in a school and left my room. When I returned an older lady was inside and had completely reorganized it, turning it into a classroom. There was a group of elementary students sitting in desks. I was alarmed.

The woman smiled, very proud of herself and said, “We decided to set up the room so that it was more conducive to teaching. I needed to work with these students and this works better for me”. She pointed to a table and then at the twelve or more individual student desks crammed up near the front of the room.

I looked at her like she was crazy and told her, “But this doesn’t work for me and this is my room. Please put it back to the way it was. I don’t work with more than six to eight students at the most, so I don’t need all these desks”. I pointed to cubbys that had been set up on one side and said, “And I don’t need these”.

I walked to a closet where I had stored some things and found that it had been cleared out and made into a small classroom with a large central desk with chairs set around it. Feeling I should at least try to compromise, I concluded that it would be okay to leave this space as it was and told her, “But you can leave the closet like you have it. I am okay…”

She interrupted me, obviously very upset and disappointed and said, “That’s fine. I will put it all back like it was”. She walked  around the class and began to get the students to help her put it back the way it was. I remember feeling at odds with myself somewhat. I wanted to make her happy but at the same time I did not want my space cluttered and taken over by this woman.

Premature Baby

At this time, a black woman entered the room looking for me. She told me that she had some important news for me. She introduced herself as the representative of a family, the name is lost to me now.

“You have been listed as the new guardian for a baby girl. Her parents were both killed, as was her twin and other sibling”.

She escorted me out of the room as she told me their story. I was, of course, shocked as this was unexpected and I was not prepared to once again care for a newborn.

The woman explained that the family knew me from a while ago. The grandmother, still living but ill, was one of my previous coworkers. She had chosen me as the new guardian. She told me I had a choice and did not have to accept. I told her, “Of course I will take her”. In my mind I could not refuse and leave the little girl in the system. I quickly disregarded all my concerns about being ready and the burden it would cause my family. I wanted to meet the child.

We entered the house of the family. The grandmother was sleeping in a chair. I looked closely at her, trying to remember her. She was very old, with white hair and dark skin. I immediately went to her and another family member said to her, “Mother, she is here”. The old woman opened her eyes and smiled at me. She conveyed to me that she knew the child would have a better life with me.

I was then shown the baby and it was explained to me that she was born premature but was currently just 4 weeks old. I looked at her, expecting to see dark skin, but her skin was pale and her eyes light. She was very, very tiny and so precious. I did not dare pick her up as she was sleeping. In my mind I saw an image of what she would look like as she grew up. Beautiful. She had that beautiful creamy mix-race skin and curly, soft blondish-brown hair. I was completely accepting of my new role as her mother.

It was then explained to me that I would have to take a class in order to be her new guardian and then adopt her.

The word “adopt” kept echoing in my mind and ultimately woke me up. I was in a panic over it, literally thinking such an event might happen. But now I think it was more symbolic of a new beginning coming into my life which involves acceptance of parts of myself I have previously rejected. Then the previous dream flooded my memory and I realized I was in the midst of a reorganization of Self.

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Dream: Temptation

Sometimes I have very emotional dreams. This morning I awoke to one such dream.

Temptation

Most of the details of the beginning of the dream are lost to me now, but I recall the most important details.

The dream consisted of me meeting this good looking, Hispanic man. He appeared younger than me and reminded me of someone but I cannot figure out who. We were in a house that I was not familiar with and he and I had just met. When I saw him I was hit with such a familiar pang of recognition in my heart that it took my breath away. I do not know if he had this same connection, but I think he did based upon the way the dream went.

I avoided him for some time, speaking to him briefly and engaging in only casual conversation. I made sure to keep my distance because being near him caused an overwhelming amount of desire and I was certain he would notice. Perhaps he did because he kept coming closer to me and would not allow me to go far.

Throughout this I was overcome with feelings of foreboding, continually thinking of how I was married, had children and would not do anything to cause them potential suffering. I felt as if I had been ripped in two every time I saw this young man who would not go away and who I did not really want to go away. It was an agonizing feeling!

Finally, I gave in and stopped dodging him. Just looking at him was painful and also amazingly wonderful. I don’t remember what he was saying to me but I ended up allowing him to kiss me. This was, of course, probably not a good idea as the kiss caused me to understand the intensely deep connection that existed between us.

I broke away from the kiss and began talking one hundred miles an hour about my husband and family and how I could not, would not, do anything that would put them at risk. I remember wishing I were single so badly that it hurt. My insides were in all kinds of knots with energy welling out of my first, second and third chakras.

Message from Azekiel

I awoke still feeling the agonizing split between what I wanted and what I felt was “right”. I could not figure out why I was once again having this type of dream! Then I remembered the brief OBE I had where I was allowed to witness an agreement being made between my Higher Self and some others. I remember that there was a man involved and that he was married. I also knew the agreement was that he and I would meet. I remember I felt sorry for him.

Needless to say, I was not pleased with this memory and the sudden realization that I was preparing for a meeting. Dread is all I felt. All I could think was, “Why?”

My guide was very close and he said very simply, “You are sad”.

twin-flame-swirlI didn’t feel this was true, but then maybe it was? Maybe I am hiding from a part of myself, some part deeply connected to a past where I was unfaithful? I do recall a life that fits that description.

In that, I remembered too much, I think, because I did find the sadness and two tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. I asked for healing, hoping to avoid any meeting like in my dream.

My guide said, “The healing needs to come via the physical”.

Just my luck!

I asked, “Who are you? What is your name?”

He replied, “Azekiel”.

I knew he was trying to prepare me, to help me with some big hurdle that is holding me back. I am not exactly sure what it is or why the healing needs to come via the physical. I suspect the person I am meeting has a similar need. Perhaps he and I are cancelling a karmic debt?

Near OBE

I fell back to sleep, asking to project. I was on my stomach and almost instantly found myself in the in-between but I was not becoming conscious like is normal.

I suddenly felt to be laying in my mother’s bed and all I could think about was the man from my previous dream and how desperately I wanted to be with him. The agony was very real and I just wanted to stay asleep and not have to confront the situation.

I felt someone shake me and say, “You need to get up now”. I ignored it and pushed against the hand saying, “I want to sleep”. The shaking happened again and I groaned. I heard other noises, the noises of a busy house – children’s voices, pitter patter of tiny feet, talking, etc. I specifically heard my sister’s voice. I do remember thinking that all I needed to do was roll out of my body, but I literally felt too tired to bother.

I woke up feeling so much better but I don’t know why. Perhaps I am just accepting that this needs to be done. Sigh.