Category Archives: Dreams

by

Evidence of Integration

I had an interesting day last night that culminated in yet another unplanned OBE this morning.

Bus Wreck

Last Friday night, as I sat outside listening to the far off sounds of a marching band playing in some football stadium, I suddenly was hit with knowingness. There would be a bus accident. I immediately thought it was sad and worried about the kids on the bus but was told not to worry. So I let it go and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning, while perusing the morning headlines, I saw a headline that made my heart sink. Texas college grieves after 4 killed in bus crash. I read the article and remembered my premonition. It came out of the blue and there was no reasoning behind it. I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Yet I got the information anyway. That’s why I hate premonitions.

Avoided Accident

It is as if the news of the bus wreck was meant to remind me that I could pick up on future events. That afternoon, while returning from work, the minute I got on the freeway I got an nagging feeling. I ignored it because I was feeling very at easy and happy, which is not a norm for me, so I was enjoying it and didn’t want to ruin it by worrying over a “nagging feeling”. Yet every time I would settle into my happy mood and look at the clouds and beautiful sky I would get a thought that said, “Focus”. And I would hear it and think, “I really should pay attention”. The thought kept returning along with the nagging feeling and I thought to myself, “Any moment there could be an accident. But I shouldn’t worry about ‘what if’s’, they only make me anxious”.

I was almost home and the nagging feeling was gone when it happened. I was merging right to exit when the car in front of me suddenly swerved and put on their brakes. I saw some bits of tire on the road and decided not to merge and stayed in my lane only to be confronted a split second later by a huge piece of tire that was big enough to cause an accident. I put on my breaks and swerved a bit into the lane to my left. I watched as the driver behind me also reacted and almost hit a cement truck. I then saw the truck drive swerve into the fast lane. Thankfully, no one was in his path. As I finally began to merge, the truck drive drove past and look at me. We stared at each other and I thought to him, “Glad you are okay”. He drove on.

Then the adrenaline hit me. I exited the highway and suddenly knew that all the signs had been there. And I had listened. My heart was pounding and my arms weak. I had been ready and everyone involved was okay. And it suddenly occurred to me that had I chosen to go ahead and merge that the driver behind me would have not reacted well to the huge piece of tire. He would have swerved to wide and hit the cement truck. And I realized it was not me the feeling was meant to help. It was them.

Dream

I found myself in a dream. I was not fully aware and just followed along, In the dream I was at a gathering. We were in family groups and I was with my husband sitting at a rectangular table. Our children were not there. My husband had to sit near the aisle and I sat in the center. My mother and her husband were above and behind us. Her husband also sat near the aisle.

Then I found myself with my old high school best friend at the bottom of the auditorium where I had previously been with my husband. I greeted her and she seemed down. There was another girl with her. We all talked, catching up on old times. My friend mentioned that she had an issue with hormonal acne. I asked her if she had been to a dermatologist and she looked horrified. She then got very emotional but did not cry and the other girl seemed concerned. They both stopped talking and acted like they wanted to get away from me. They made excuses and began to walk away together. The other girl kept looking behind at me and I felt very uncomfortable, wondering what I had done wrong. I chased after them asking them why they were leaving and what I had done wrong. The girl yelled back that they didn’t want me to come with them. So I stayed back and felt horrible and rejected.

The feelings were intense enough to wake me up.

Wide awake I immediately was reminded of all the times in my life when similar things had happened. I began to beat myself up, telling myself, “I am not good at being a friend” and “No one likes me” and “It is better if I just don’t try to be friends”. There were other thoughts as well and they eventually made me cry, though not huge amounts. I have lived with these feelings my whole life and I wondered, “Why? Why does this keep coming up? Why won’t it go away? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I be a good friend? What is wrong with me?”

I couldn’t sleep and the feeling was lingering. Yet I had this distinct calm wash over me along with the feeling that I needed to examine the scene in the dream. What happened?

As soon as I started looking at what I did rather than what they did, I saw what the problem was. I hadn’t been listening. I had missed something. Some nonverbal cue. And it had been my downfall. I broke communication with my friend. I was no longer sharing her reality. And because of that she was hurt and thus, wanted to get away from me and avoid it happening again.

Relief followed this realization and then I began to remember similar times in my past when this happened. They piled on top of one another and they were all the same. All this time I had thought they were mean. They were the ones who had been out to hurt me. It was their fault, not mine. And I understood. I was not a good listener. I was not caring about them. It was all me, me, me. I lost a best friend for that and I have few friends now because of that.

Yet I also realized everyone else is the same. They are like me. They want to be heard. They want to be listened to. They will seek out those who listen. Who will hear. I have stopped trying to seek out someone who will listen. I have been hurt too many times and it isn’t worth it. But maybe, just maybe, I have been wrong this whole time and if I just listened to others without any expectations for myself things would be different.

All these thoughts kept me awake from 4am to around 5:30am. I had given up on returning to sleep.

graycat_chairOBEs

Then I was dreaming again. I was at a house this time. The owners were moving out and me and my mother and some other family I did not recognize were watching them. They were unable to take everything with them and they were leaving behind their three dogs. I lingered, watching them. They gave us permission to take what they left so I went inside while my mom waited in the car outside. I remember seeing the dogs, two of them huge Basset Hounds with long hair and one a small Beagle. They were running into the road and I had concern they would be hit.

I spent a while inside the house collecting mostly toys my kids would like. Their garage was full of them. I then wandered into the back yard but it started to get dark and my mom was yelling at me to hurry. I then saw a light shine through a window and went back inside, roaming through the kitchen and then making my way back into the yard. When I looked up, though, there was a ceiling and I was confused for a moment. That particular room was run down and dirty.

It was at this point that I suddenly gained awareness and the entire scene vanished. I was no longer in that dark house but in a newer one with brand new wood floors and nice furnishings. I was instantly happier and lighter and crawled along the wood floors like an infant. I was very aware of being naked and thinking about how I must look to someone, concerned about the way my breasts must have looked but not so much to worry about it.

As soon as I stopped caring about how I looked I felt myself lift up and I stretched out my astral body and willed myself up into the air. I was a bit unsteady at first but soon was hovering over the floor and then flying towards the door. The room instantly got brighter and I could see the furniture of the living area in front of me.

But I lost energy and the room instantly darkened. I was then hovering near my body and disappointed to have left. I willed myself back and there I was again, in the house. This time, however, I was standing in the kitchen, There was a yellow hue around everything and the floors were very shiny. I looked around and took in the scene. It was bright and I did not have any issue with seeing. I was glad for this. I had worried something was wrong with me in my last OBE since I couldn’t see well.

Then I heard a scratching coming from a door in the kitchen. I went over to it, looking closely at the white shutters that covered the bottom of the door. Since I could see outside I pulled back two slats of the shutters to look out. I could see a small shadow outside. I yelled at the animal, “You can’t come in!” and left the door as it was but the two slats fell off, broken. I knew the animal was a gray cat and I didn’t want him inside. I don’t like cats.

I then lost vision and I returned to my body. I stayed in the in-between state for some time, trying to decide if I would go back. The energy buzzed around me and felt comforting. I could feel that it was more intense around my heart chakra. I allowed the hypnagogic images to come in and watched them for a while. I almost went into one but my curiosity caused the image to suddenly fade. I eventually gave up and opened my eyes.

Evidence of Integration

I was told a while back to expect changes resulting from merging with my Higher Self. I was not given much information as to what that meant but had faith that it was a good thing. Since then I have experienced some subtle changes that I believe are a result of this merging process, also known as integration.

Of course there are my OBEs. They started back up at the beginning of the merging and have since continued, becoming more frequent and interesting. I suspected my OBEs from yesterday were an attempted soul retrieval which was later confirmed by some avid astral travelers I communicate with. This is a big changed from my previous astral experiences and I can’t help but wonder if perhaps I am going to have more similar experiences.

Then there is the change in how I perceive things. My guides still communicate with me, but during the day their messages are more blended with my own thoughts – almost imperceptible. I often miss their messages because of this but eventually they get through to me, one way or the other. The best example of this was the message to integrate yoga into my life.

Then there is the overall different feeling I have. It is hard to explain but I feel more whole than I did a couple of years ago. I am more certain and less likely to accept things in my life that I do not want. Yes I have been depressed more often but I think that is part of the process. I am healing and purging some repressed emotions which opens chakras and creates all sorts of symptoms (kundalini symptoms) that can be quite bothersome.

I don’t know how much longer this will all take but I am getting a glimpse of what I will be like in the end and I am liking it.

by

Into The Deep

I was awakened at 4am by my daughter. She must have caught my cold because she was coughing but it was just the typical dry cough that comes with postnasal drip. She went back to sleep but I, of course, could not. Then, whenever I would start to doze off, she would cough loudly once or twice and wake me up again. So, I went to another room to try and get some uninterrupted sleep.

I tossed and turned for some time, thinking, “I should just get up. I’m too awake”. A song kept going through my mind by Saints of Valory, Neon Eyes (Into the Deep), specifically the part, “But won’t you follow me, into the deep”. I just kept singing it over and over and finally decided to stop. Then I got hungry so I had to run to the kitchen for a snack. Finally, stomach content and mind quiet, I drifted off to sleep.

OBE #1: Hotel

I don’t remember what I was dreaming about, but I know I was dreaming. What I do remember is being awakened by someone brushing against me. I opened my eyes suddenly and scanned the darkened room. But it wasn’t the bedroom I was in. It looked like a hotel room. I could see the windows, the door and the edge of the bed I was laying on.

I looked around for whoever brushed against me and I heard crying. It was a quiet, sobbing sound and it was from a very small child. I urged myself to get out of bed to help. As I slid out of bed, my astral body felt heavy, as if I were carrying forty pounds of dead weight.

I mentally called out to the child, telling her it was okay. Then I saw her. She ran up to me and took my hand. She was very tiny, only about two to three feet tall and looked up at me with big, tear filled eyes. She was wearing a pink dress that flared out like a tutu with white stockings that went right up to the bottom of the dress and pink Mary Jane’s. In the dark of the room, she seemed to glow with her own light and I immediately wanted to help her.

I followed her toward the door, still feeling very heavy. The heavy energy was pulling me down and I knew I needed more energy. I tried to summon it, but the moment I began to ask I rushed back into my body.

OBE #2: Negative Feeling

I immediately set the intention to return and I was back in the bed, in the dark hotel room. I got out of bed, my astral body again feeling burdened by heavy energy. I began to make my way toward the door but stopped. I didn’t like the feeling of the place or the feeling of my energy. This time there was no little girl and I felt a strong sense that something was not quite right. In the little time I was there, I gathered heaps of information. All at once the knowledge was there and I knew what the bad feeling was. There was negative sexual energy and it was focused on the child. There was a child molester involved in the energy.

Within moments of recognizing all this I was sucked back into my body once again. I lay in the buzzing sensation that surrounded me for a moment and set the intention to return again. Instantly, I returned once again to the scene.

OBE #3: Energy

This time I got out of my body quickly and with less heaviness but it felt like I was dragging myself behind me. The farther I got from my starting point, the easier it got. I reached the door and opened it, intent on getting out of the hotel room and leaving the negative energy behind me. I looked up at the stars and thought how nice it would be to be able to see daylight. Why was it still so dark? I wanted to shift to another scene, anywhere but where I was. And I knew that in order to do this I needed to free myself of the heaviness I was feeling.

I rubbed the palms of my hands together and said, “I need more energy”. The minute I said this I was hit with intense amounts of energy. I felt like I was buzzing while at the same time being shaken. It is hard to describe. It felt like my astral body was shifting back and forth very quickly.

I was disappointed to find myself back in my body as the shifty sensations continued. I thought, “What did I do wrong?” and realized that asking for more energy had not been the right thing to do. But what was?

I wanted to return to astral but there was a nagging feeling that it was almost time to get up and that I had things to do. Reluctantly, I moved and stretched out my body, leaving the prospect of another trip OOB behind me. Again the song repeated in my mind, “But won’t you follow me, into the deep”.

Note: It was suggested by other astral travelers that this OBE was in fact an attempted soul retrieval. This is the first ever soul retrieval OBE I recall having and I am curious if there will be others.

by

The Serpent is Rising

The following is a lucid dream I had this morning.

As I rode in a car along a road I did not recognized, we stopped alongside a cluster of mailboxes. I leaned out my window to open the mailbox and suddenly found myself standing alongside it outside of the car. I reached inside the mailbox and pulled out a golden necklace. Surprised, I peered inside and discovered a mass of jewelry. Excited, I pulled each piece out and inspected it. There were three necklaces, all very yellow gold with different pendants attached. I then saw a small bracelet made of silver links of chain. Attached was a small ballet slipper of blue that sparkled. There was another small slipper not attached and I made sure not to drop it.

After inspecting the jewelry I looked around, suddenly worried I would be caught with the jewelry. I worried about this only because 1. I was not sure whose mailbox this was and 2. the jewelry was not in a package but had been left inside in a cluster as if deposited in a hurry. I pocketed the jewelry and noticed a woman pull up in her car to retrieve her mail. I moved aside and let her.

Then I was laying in my bed seemingly wide awake. It was dark and I recognized that it was likely the very early hours of the morning. I decided I wanted to find my husband and cuddle and perhaps do more than that. The thought made me smile.

I went towards the bedroom and when I entered the living room the lights were on and my son was laying on the sofa watching T.V. There were also all kinds of objects that weren’t suppose to be there. The room appeared more like a mall or shopping area than my living room. The color of the scene was golden and shimmering.

I saw my son was eating candy out of a container shaped like an elephant. I asked him where he got it and he pointed to the kiosk nearby. It was closed but the candy shelves were exposed making the candy easy to take. I became full of anger towards my husband for allowing our son to be up so early, watch T.V. and eat candy. I changed my mind then and there about going to him. I was too angry. Yet I had this strong urge to move the energy of my root chakra which was suddenly feeling very alive and tingling. How would I do that now?

Then I saw a booth. A golden color shimmered around it. I went over to it. Inside there was a woman with long, blond hair. She sat behind a counter and smiled at me and told me, “I can help you”. I sat in front of her in a chair and we talked. She talked more than me, telling me about her job in the male-dominated steel industry. I commented that it must be nice and she nodded agreement. Then she touched my groin area with her foot and a spike of energy hit me all at once. It expanded and moved outward, engulfing my entire lower body with a warm energy. Then I felt it move upward. When it hit my second chakra I could feel it condense and ball up like a knot. It twisted and pain radiated into my lower spine.

The Serpent is Rising

The pain woke me up and I lay in a mixture of pleasure and pain as the energy continued to radiate outward around my lower body. I knew instantly what was happening. This was Kundalini energy. The serpent was rising. Unfortunately, my second chakra was too blocked to let the serpent through. I tried to will it to open and allow the energy to move up to my heart chakra. I knew when the energy hit my heart chakra I would be overcome with bliss and the thought of this excited me. But when I tried to open my second chakra the pain intensified. It felt as if something were squeezing my insides.

My guide intervened. “Not yet”, he whispered. I stopped and listened, remembering the last time I had experienced Kundalini. I wanted to feel it again. “It took 2 years last time” my guide stated matter-of-factually. “Oh,” I thought back to him. “How long will it take this time?”, I asked. But I had begun to drift back to sleep and my guide’s reply was lost. I only knew I needed not to force it; to let it take its time. Forcing it was not good. I somehow knew that it would not take as long this time. How long? I am not sure.

risingKundalini

Kundalini is described as a “sleeping, dormant potential force in the human organism”. The energy, also known as “the serpent”, is thought of as coiled up at the based of the spine. When the serpent awakens, it uncoils and the energy of it rises upward along the spine to the top of the head. It rises through each of the chakras, and as it reaches each chakra it is said to awaken different energies creating different awakenings, or spiritual experiences. When the serpent reaches the top of the head, or the crown chakra, it is said to create an extremely profound mystical experience described by some as infinite bliss.

The practices of yoga and meditation are said to awaken kundalini, but it can also be awakened by a guru. Sometimes kundalini is awakened by physical or psychological trauma and other times for no reason at all. Sometimes the individual is prepared for the kundalini and other times they are not. Those who are prepared, approach kundalini with pure surrender, which means no ego interference. Those who are unprepared may end up in a kundalini crisis.

Common symptoms of kundalini are:

  • Involuntary jerks, tremors, shaking, itching, tingling, and crawling sensations, especially in the arms and legs
  • Energy rushes or feelings of electricity circulating the body
  • Intense heat (sweating) or cold, especially as energy is experienced passing through the chakras
  • Visions or sounds at times associated with a particular chakra
  • Diminished or conversely extreme sexual desire sometimes leading to a state of constant or whole-body orgasm
  • Emotional upheavals or surfacing of unwanted and repressed feelings or thoughts with certain repressed emotions becoming dominant in the conscious mind for short or long periods of time.
  • Headache, migraine, or pressure inside the skull
  • Increased blood pressure and irregular heartbeat
  • Emotional numbness
  • Antisocial tendencies
  • Mood swings with periods of depression or mania
  • Pains in different areas of the body, especially back and neck
  • Sensitivity to light, sound, and touch
  • Trance-like and altered states of consciousness
  • Disrupted sleep pattern (periods of insomnia or oversleeping)
  • Loss of appetite or overeating
  • Bliss, feelings of infinite love and universal connectivity, transcendent awareness *reference

Round Two

I have experienced almost all of the above symptoms before, years ago, and it resulted in a “dark night of the soul” and some very intensely negative times for me. I emerged without incident, a more balanced person, just in time to meet my husband and start my family. In that time, the serpent retreated and went dormant. I knew this would happen, I just didn’t think of it in terms of kundalini. I just knew that for a while I would focus upon family. You see, I just now realize that spiritual awakening and kundalini are one in the same. At least they were for me.

And now it is happening again. The serpent is no longer dormant. There is lots of work to be done. Healing. Purging. A second awakening. I have experienced almost all of the above symptoms; still am. It started some time ago, though it was not as intense as it is now. I am now mentally kicking myself for not taking better care of myself spiritually over the last seven years. So much of what I am going through now could have been avoided. But, I cannot dwell on should have’s. What is done is done. At least this time I know what to expect and understand more as to why it is happening.

by

I Wanna See Sunshine

I know I wrote recently that I was told while, also simultaneously knowing, that I need to stop going OOB for a while. Yet this morning I experienced more OBEs than I can count. I lost track after about my fourth exit from my body. In fact, I had so many that I hardly remember the first few, which is unfortunate.

Dream

Before my OBEs I awoke from a disturbing dream. In the dream, I was in a parking lot with a man who was stealing a woman’s dog. It was a brown and white Sheltie. The man had it wrapped up in a white blanket and was trying to drive off in his pickup truck. I climbed in holding a 22 caliber pistol strait at him and warned him that I would shoot if he continued trying to drive away. I stopped for a moment looking at the gun I was holding and thinking, “I don’t want to kill this man”. As I did, the gun shrank and appeared to be a BB gun. The man did not listen to me and began to shift the truck into reverse, so I shot him multiple times with the BB gun.

I grabbed the small dog and remember thinking how awful that anyone would want to hurt a defenseless animal. I felt so much sympathy for the little dog. At that moment I remembered my own dog, Trooper, and was filled with huge amounts of guilt and shame for how I allowed him to suffer before finally putting him out of his misery. The shame finally woke me up and I laid in bed near tears for a while, telling my guide I wanted the feeling to stop. I just wanted it to stop.

OBEs

I got up and used the restroom and tried to go back to sleep but I could not stop swallowing from a sudden onset of nasty postnasal drip. My body also felt very stiff and achy and the only position that was comfortable was laying on my back. Ugh! I am getting sick, I thought. The last thing I remember was thinking about my dog and how I was warned a year prior of his upcoming death. I was being hard on myself, telling myself I was “stupid” and “avoiding the inevitable” resulting in my dog, and me, suffering more than necessary. I remember telling my guide, “You told me, yet when the time came you were silent.” And I recognized this theme repeating in my life – being told of future things and then getting no information near the time the event occurs.

Cleaning Floors

The very next memory I had was being out of my body. I was in my Mom’s house standing in her kitchen watching the floor being cleaned by my middle son. It was an odd sight and I remember thinking, “Why is he cleaning the floor?” He was naked and had a white cleaning cloth in his hands he was using to scrub the floor. The kitchen furniture had been removed so all I could see was the brown tile floor and my 3 year old son cleaning.

I instantly knew I was OOB and so began to move away from the weird scene and towards the door. I wanted outside. Plus, it was dark and I wanted to see better.

When I opened the door it was still dark outside. I don’t remember much after this except feeling the familiar pull of my body. I also remember hovering right near my body for some time and having a conversation with someone.

Shadow Man

The next thing I remember, I was with several young people. I was laying in my bed and they were around me. I remember knowing I was OOB but I was too mesmerized by the people to really think about it. Everything felt so real and I was surprised by how solid I felt. It was so surreal! I kept looking at them and one took my hand and led towards a car. The other two people got in and I followed. The car was a small, red car but I am not sure what type, maybe a Honda Fit?

I don’t know where we went but I do remember moving in the car for a bit. The movement felt like we were floating rather than driving on a road. The trip is hazy, though, like I lost lucidity for some time. What I next recall is somewhat odd and scary, though. This time I remember seeing the back of a person I did not recognize. He was dark and I could not see anything except the lack of color. I was sitting very close to him when he turned around and grabbed me. I saw his face, but it was changing and shifting and I knew I should confront him because he was not real, he was me; my fears. But before I could do anything the fear caught hold of me and overwhelmed me. I instantly went back to my body. I did not awaken, though. Instead I opened my astral eyes and saw this blue veil, like a window curtain with light behind it. The light got brighter as I watched. Instead of following, I withdrew and allowed myself to settled into my body.

zebraZebra

There were several other exits from my body but they are all a blur now. I would leave, find myself in my Mom’s house, go outside and then be pulled back to my body. This happened about four more times before I realized I needed more energy and focus to make my experiences more worthwhile.

The next time I left my body, I opened my eyes to find myself in my Mom’s kitchen once again. It was dark but not so dark I couldn’t see and there were more people in the kitchen this time. All of them were cleaning the kitchen floor! I don’t know who the people were, but this time I spoke with them. I don’t remember what was said word-for-word, but it was about the floors and why they were being cleaned. The gist of our conversation was that the floors being cleaned were representative of me.

At some point in the conversation I wanted to go outside. But this time I wanted it to be light outside. I needed to see. I knew I needed energy for that to happen so I rubbed the palms of my hands together vigorously and said, “More energy please”. Then, I got the idea to ask for something else. I wanted to see what would happen if I asked to see my Higher Self. So, as I went through the door I stated, “I want to see my Higher Self” and then repeated it. When I opened the door it was still twilight but instead of seeing the front yard I saw a small, brown horse standing in front of me. When I saw him I was delighted and yelled out, “Hi!” and his name, but I cannot remember his name now except that it started with an “A” and was three syllables. Then I looked to my left and there was this enormous Zebra walking towards me. He was at least ten feet tall and very vivid. When I saw him I was delighted and said, “Hi Steven!” I noticed there were others with him, probably about three or four that I could count right off, but they were not as big and I don’t know if they were zebras or horses, just that they were all animals.  I insteantly knew I was seeing my guides and knew also they were coming to me in the form of animals for a reason, though the reason was a mystery to me.

As Steven the zebra approached me I got worried and backed up. The feeling was, “I don’t want this” as if letting him come closer meant something scary would happen. What? I don’t know. The minute I backed away I lost hold and fell back into my body with quite a bit of force. I immediately felt my pillow over my eyes and kept them closed as I recognized I was in my bed and there was no zebra coming toward me.

I Wanna See Sunshine

I knew I was still in-between states and could return whenever I wanted. So I made a plan. This time I would go back and I would make it light outside so I could see. I also kept the intention to meet up with my Higher Self.

I opened my astral eyes and found myself inside the house again but this time I was standing at the front door. I immediately went outside.

When I walked outside the door I was thinking about how I wanted to see light outside. With that thought I began singing a song at the top of my lungs – “I wanna see sunshine on my way”. As I sang, I noticed the outside was still dark but that there were sparks of light popping up and moving about me as if they were alive. It was like I was surrounded with stars or huge fireflies. The light moved around me and sparkled in the darkness.

At this point I saw that I was holding hands with my daughter. I was delighted! She did not speak to me but I could feel her little hand and see her very clearly. I wanted to show her how to fly, so I took her hand and pulled her up with me as I launched up into the sky. I was still singing at the top of my lungs – “I wanna see sunshine on my way”.

As we topped the trees, I looked down and saw construction machinery, bulldozers and backhoes. Each of them was sitting digger-1198220-min an illuminated bubbled of white light and surrounded by black. It was like someone wanted me to see each of the machines rather than the trees and land around them. The visual of the construction equipment is still the most vivid memory I have of this experience. They were very out of place.

Once I saw the machinery I noticed I was still singing at the top of my lungs, my hand still holding my daughter’s hand. We continued to face the machines as a force began to pull up backward and upward. I continued to sing as I noticed buildings and lights flash by us as we increased in speed. I felt like I was flying backward at hundreds of miles per hour.

I remember thinking we just passed San Fransisco and were heading toward the Pacific Ocean. I remember seeing a flash of the San Francisco bridge and the lights of the city sparkling in the dark of early morning. I then wondered how far we were going to go. Where were we going?

With my concern growing the scene blacked out all at once and I immediately woke up in my body. I felt my hands resting on my stomach and began to move them. When I did, I noticed they were tingling and numb. I also heard my daughter scream something and knew it was morning and my children were already up.

Hot Tub

Despite moving and noting that it was morning, I managed to find my way back out of my body. This time I was standing next to a hot tub. Inside it were two women and one man. They were lounging in it and I was looking at them and talking to them about why I was not able to stay OOB for as long as I wanted to. I could hear the bubbles of the water as it circulated around the hot tub and see the steam from the heat dancing in front of the faces of the occupants. I remember saying, “I am having trouble with having enough energy” and “I wish I could stay out longer”. The whole time I felt happy and at ease; almost bubbling over with joy and excitement. The people in the hot tub felt like family. In fact, I remember feeling a bit confused because I kept thinking of them as my siblings but they did not look like my brother and sisters. The man was very feminine looking, almost asexual, with dark hair. The women had light brown hair but I do not remember much except their eyes and how they looked at me lovingly. All three of them appeared to be quite young, probably around 20 at the most.

At some point I decided I wanted to get into the hot tub. I put my arm in the water and felt that it was very warm. I commented on its warmth as I allowed myself to be surrounded by the water. I then looked at the guy who was straight in front of me and he said, “What?” I said back to him, “You know what”, and went straight toward him, convinced that my energy problem stemmed directly from a blockage in my root chakra.

I woke up soon after this feeling a buzzing in my root chakra along with some mild cramping and aching in my abdominal area. I knew instantly that I was OOB specifically to help clear my energy blockages. I still felt sluggish from sleep and tried to go back OOB but my daughter came in with my husband telling me they wanted me to go out to eat breakfast with them. I still had the song I was singing in my head as I got out of bed.

by

Cats and Kittens

I am not a cat lover. In fact, cats really irritate me. I use to like cats when I was a child but we had a number of our cats die in very bad ways and I think that put me off completely on the idea of ever having a cat as a pet again. I am fine that other people like cats and I am not mean to them if they are around me, I just don’t want one as my own pet.

Yet night after night, dream after dream, I keep seeing cats and kittens. In one recent dream I was playing with a kitten that was hot pink and I decided to keep it. In one of my recent OBEs I was presented with a white kitten and I cuddled with it. In my most recent dream, I went to check the mail and when I looked down at my feet there was a mother tabby cat with her four, identical tabby kittens. Then when I looked away towards the house I just came from, I saw another kitten but this one was shiny, jet black.

Considering cats and kittens are not my favorite, I am just a tiny bit annoyed.

Cats and Kittens

In dreams, cats are symbolic of many things. In general, they symbolize independence, creativity, femininity, and power. However, cats can also represent misfortune and bad luck if associated with fear and/or negative circumstances. Finally, cat carries with it a strong link to the feminine, so when one appears in the dreams of a woman, it can symbolize protection.

In my dreams, the cats I have been seeing are fine. They are not injured or hurt. In one OBE I was even feeding a cat. They tend to be tabby cats, either orange of gray, and about normal size. Sometimes they lash out at me, but I am never afraid of them. I just see them and take note of them and I always remember them when I wake up.

white kittenUnlike cats, kittens represent a transitional phase in life. They are the path to independence and life exploration. Kittens are playful and energetic, thus, they often are a message to bring more of these qualities into one’s life. Like all baby mammals, they practice the skills they will one day use as adults. When a white kitten presents itself in a dream it represents peace, purity and openness to new things. When a black kitten presents itself in a dream it represents fear in using psychic abilities and believing and trusting one’s own intuition.

I have seen both black and white kittens in my dreams/OBEs. In fact, recently it is kittens more than cats that I see most frequently. Every time I see them, I am curious but not overly excited to see them. They are just another part of the dream. Yet, when I wake up, the image of the kitten(s) is still vivid in my mind. I can’t help but think that this is because they come with a message, one that is obviously not getting through to me.

Cat Totem

After writing this post and sharing it, a friend of mine suggested that perhaps the cat was one of my totems. When I read her comment I knew instantly she was right. As I child I loved cats and collected cat statues. I then tossed the statues and my love of cats, but apparently the cat did not abandon me.

In researching the cat totem, I found many explanations but one in particular caught my eye. This website used Ted Andrews book, Animal Speak as its main source of information. You can find the website here.

“If cat appears in your life the blending of magic and mystery is at hand. A trustworthy teacher, the cat will guide you into the world of self discovery and transformation”.

“In Egypt cats were always given special privileges and were treated like royalty. In Scandinavia the cat stood for fertility, and in India it is a symbol of childbirth. In ancient times it was believed that witches took the form of their cats at night. Cats are fiercely independent. You can never own one: it allows you to take care of it and love it, but only on its terms. They come and go as they please, when they please. Cat’s medicine is independence, curiosity, many lives, cleverness, unpredictability, healing, the ability to fight when cornered, seeing the unseen, and protection. He also represents love and can assist us in meditation. If Cat is your Power Animal, then you have magic and mystery in your life. You are independent and a free thinker. You probably feel energized at night. You will stay with a person or situation until it bores you, and then you’re gone. You have a great talent for organizing things.”

The part in bold describes me so well!

Turtles

Strangely, amidst all of these cat and kitten dreams, I recall a dream very vividly in which I was handling baby turtles. In this particular dream I was taken to South Dakota to see the home of a very rich woman. I was carrying with me some baby turtles but did not notice them until I reached the mansion which was tucked behind some rolling hills. As I topped the hills I saw the mansion spread out before me with well manicured lawns and grand balconies. Between me and the mansion was a large, man-made pond. I walked down to the edge of the pond and deposited the turtles into it and then went up into the mansion.

I do not remember much about the mansion except the story behind it. The woman who built it wanted a home deep in the country surrounded by the rolling plains and far from other people. So this was her masterpiece, tucked away in the hills of South Dakota. I walked through the mansion and got the message that this was all she had and she was very alone, surrounded by her material possessions and very, very unhappy. When I realized the message is when I went to feed the baby turtles. I reached toward the water and one of the babies came out but he was much bigger then when I put him in. I fed him and noted his size. That is where the dream ended.

Turtles represent wisdom, faithfulness, longevity, loyalty and patience and perseverance. Turtles bring the message of turtle-636-640x360taking one’s time, being patient and persisting despite life’s obstacles. If one does this, they will make progress. Turtles can also bring the message that one may be “hiding in their shell” and avoiding life and the issues of life. When a threat approaches, the turtle withdraws into its shell and does not move. This could be analogous to an individual in life – withdrawing every time a threat approaches. No progress is made when one does this. Instead, they stay hidden, afraid and unable to move.

Considering the dream I had with the baby turtles and the message about the woman alone in her mansion, I see how the turtle symbol goes hand in hand with the woman and the prison she created for herself. She had withdrawn from humanity, surrounded herself with material possessions, and was alone. She had grand things and did not need to worry about not having enough, yet she was unhappy and devoid of life. Perhaps me feeding the baby turtles was to show me that I was feeding such characteristics within myself? Yet, when I recall the dream, the feeling of it was of peace and sanctuary. The pond where I deposited the turtles was large, dark and calm. To look at it made me very calm. I can only guess then what it all meant and the feeling of it still haunts me.

Sam

Finally, I am haunted by a particular dream that I had the night before last. The dream was very vivid, like most of my dreams have been since I stopped astral projecting. In it, I went to visit and old friend and I called him by name. I saw him and he reminded me Rob Morrow (the main character in the T.V. show, Northern Exposure). I was very happy to see him and we hugged. I asked him how he was and where he was now. He told me, “Georgetown” and I assumed he meant a city near where I live. We spent some time talking, though I do not remember what about now. All I recall is the image of him and feeling that I had met up with a long-time friend. I was so fascinated by the meeting that I woke up repeating his name to myself – Sam Sheldon.

I do not know who this Sam is. I wish I could remember his face more, but I cannot except that he was similar in looks to Rob Morrow but he was better looking. I tried a search on the internet and could not find anyone that matched the information I brought back with me from my dream. Perhaps the man from my dreams is not someone who is currently residing on Earth. Perhaps he is just a fictitious character created by me. Or maybe he is just one of my guides. I doubt I will ever know but it sure felt like a reunion with someone who is currently living a life on Earth. I wish I knew.

by

Class Resumes

I have been sleeping very deeply lately and my dreams have been numerous and vivid. Ever since I was told/knew that I would be taking a break from astral, I have not had any OBEs, though some of my dreams have been semi-lucid. Unfortunately, I do not remember many of my dreams. This could be because I am back to working and my schedule has reverted back to early morning risings and less leisure time. However, there is likely more to this phenomenon. There seems to be some learning going on in my dreams.

Back to School

This morning I actually had a dream that I remembered. I do not remember it very vividly but what I do remember is helping me recognize what is going on while I sleep.

In this particular dream I was with another woman and we were discussing psychology class. We also talked about how close I was to earning my degree – only one more class. In the dream I was telling her I had already taken psychology and was mentally listing all the classes I had taken in my head. In my mind I could see flashes of the textbooks and very vividly I saw Intro to Psychology and Sociology. I could not remember the names of the other courses but knew they were core courses and that I had taken them. I figured each class was 3 credits each and figured I needed 15 credits. Ultimately I only had one course left to take – 3 more credits. I did not feel excited about it, though. Instead I kept feeling that something was off. I knew that 15 credits was not enough to get a minor in a subject, which is what I was working towards. Yet as I tried to figure it out I could not get my thoughts together. It was like I was completely ignorant.

The dream shifted after this and I remember being in the midst of a Middle Eastern conflict. I was still at school, but the building and surroundings were unfamiliar. All around me were white buildings and sandy ground. The earth was barren and it was very obviously desert. There were men directing people, telling them when it was safe to cross from one building to the next. I was given the go ahead to cross but hesitated when I saw what was going on. Though I could see no enemy and the soldiers were dressed in civilian clothes, something made me cautious. I watched as groups of students crossed safely. Some even lingered for a while when no gun shots were fired. I stayed, looking around at my surroundings. The ground was made of packed dirt and the buildings were white. I saw a large bus full of children, so I walked over to it. The bus was also white. I went inside. This is when I was awakened by my daughter yelling excitedly.

lifeIntegration

My interpretation of these two dreams is that I am in the process again of taking in new knowledge. This is occurring simultaneously in my waking life and during my dreams. There is also an integration of this information that is on going.

I am somewhat aware of this integration when I am awake. For example, yesterday I was drawn to send energy and healing to a young girl who needed it. She was displaying signs of being overly anxious – fidgeting, bouncing her legs and looking down at the ground. I asked her Higher Self for permission, and although I mentally heard her scream out “No!”, I knew this was not her Higher Self but her fear of the unknown. When I sent energy, I imagined white energy pouring in through her crown chakra.   Within minutes of sending energy to her, she stopped fidgeting and began to relax. I stopped to see if her behavior would resume, and sure enough it did.

Then there are the unknown aspects of the lessons and integration of them. Though they begin as unknowns, they slowly rise to the surface as I notice their synchronicity. For example, I was drawn to read this book, “Seven Weeks to Forever” by Jennifer Farwell. I have not finished the book yet, but last night I could not stop thinking about how the main character knew so much about her own future and purpose. Specifically, she knew when she would die. I found it no coincidence that I recently was reminded that my own death is not too far off. My thoughts were immediately interrupted by my guide who reminded me that I could choose. And for a brief time I was calm and filled with knowingness and understood why my guides have been repeating the message to me, “Think about your life”. I recognized that my guide was right, I will be able to choose. Stay or go. I may not remember the moment when I make this decision but it will be presented to me. And so I contemplated it and thought, “I could do so much”, thinking about my new job and the girl I helped who was struggling with anxiety. I thought about how a coworker reached out to me to help him help others with anxiety. He brought up meditation and we have a meeting on Monday about it. I recognized this was no coincidence and that I have been presented with the ideal circumstances to fulfill my life’s purpose.

All these thoughts and realizations came together in mere seconds yet I felt as it I had been contemplating it all for days. And I had, though I was not aware of it. This moment of acute awareness and recognition of it all is the moment it integrates and becomes one with the me in this body. It is hard to explain, but if you experience you will understand. It is not an “ah-ha” moment, it is an “I know” moment. And it is instantaneous yet it has always been.

Another strange thing is that when I am alone and have no pressing responsibilities to fulfill, my mind is blank and even if I try to direct my thoughts to something spiritual, I stop and resume thinking of nothing. In this time my body feels unsettled but not with anxiety. It feels as if there is an energy that has yet to be released, as if it is trapped inside waiting to get out. I do nothing to move it though, because I am not led to do this. Instead it happens in my sleep, slowly. Thus, I have been experiencing sexual dreams on a nightly basis. At first I resisted these dreams but lately I have been impatient for them. This morning when I questioned this occurrence, my guide simply replied, “You need it”.

I have also been awakened by nightmares where when I wake I am so distraught it takes me a while to differentiate between dream and reality. My guide says this is the pain I carry inside me and that they are working to help me release it. Perhaps it is linked to the sexual dreams since this is the domain of the root chakra?

Processing

I sense that I am also in the midst of processing everything to make sense of it. This is on the mental level, of course. Spiritually, I do not need to “make sense” of it, but being in this body and in this physical state, it is how I keep all the information organized and usable. It can be overwhelming and in the past, when I have been in similar states, it has pushed me to the brink of insanity. In fact, last night when my guide began communicating with me, I instinctively knew that I should not rush the process (whatever it is). I should take my time, listen and integrate the bits and pieces as they come to me. Eventually it will all start to make more and more sense.

Already I can see what the future holds for the new, more aware individuals coming into life. I couldn’t help but wonder about the young girl I sent healing to. She appeared so overwhelmed with life. I saw myself in her, except that I am over twice her age. I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes at such a young age. I could only guess that the reason she is feeling so overwhelmed is not because she has too much to do, but because she is being bombarded with energy, feelings and sensations she is unprepared to handle. In fact, the feeling I got from her is that she is wide open, similar to how I was during my mid-twenties. I have also recently met others who face similar obstacles. And I wonder, how many other children will I meet that are going through the same thing? And in thinking about all of this, I feel drawn to help, and I begin brainstorming ways to help them.

by

Underground Warehouse – July, 2014

This week has been exhausting. My mornings start at 5:30am and I often do not get to bed until 10:30-11pm. Then my baby wakes up 2-3 times a night, so my sleep is continually interrupted even with the help of my husband. It is no wonder that last night, after being woken up for the fourth time, I crawled out of bed and carried a pillow and blanket to my son’s room to try and get some sleep.

Noticing I had left and obviously sleep deprived himself, my husband stomped into the room and left baby with me, yelling something at me that I could not hear through my earplugs. Realizing I wouldn’t get anymore sleep I got up and took baby back into our bedroom and then went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. It was 6am by that time I had given up on sleep yet I did not want to get up. Since baby was back asleep, I went back to my son’s room and laid down on his bed.

I was obviously upset. My whole body felt stiff and thoughts were running through my head about how to figure out how I could get a reprieve. I felt like there was no where to go to get some peace and quiet. Although my commute and time at work is time alone it is not a relaxing time. So, all I could think about was how to find time for myself, but I couldn’t see that happening.

As my thoughts raced I realized that time alone just wasn’t going to happen. I kept thinking over and over, “I want out”. At the time I felt unable to control these thoughts. Although I have been ultra busy and exhausted these last two weeks, my mood has been high even when at my tiredest. I guess it caught up to me.

After what seemed like a long time, I suddenly noticed that my body was no longer tense. Instead my body felt relaxed and almost floaty. It was then that I heard my guide say, “You feel better now, don’t you?” The thoughts were gone and I began to hear the words to the Lumineers song Stubborn Love going through my mind – “Keep you head up, my love”. Recognizing that I could finally sleep, I drifted off.

Underground Warehouse

I soon found myself in a semi-lucid dream walking towards a house. I was with some others and we were talking about the house as if it were the new house we just moved into but it didn’t look anything like our new home. It was brown instead of white and seemed dark and gloomy. It was also dark outside.

Inside I was drowsy and not fully alert. My mind felt foggy as I drifted down our stairs to the kitchen. My husband was there with our children and I went to the table to eat dinner with them. The entire time I felt like

I did not belong there; like a stranger in a strange new place. The feeling became strong, so I left the table and went to the bar to eat. I looked down at the pasta I was eating and then felt eyes on me. It was my husband giving me a questioning look. I told him I preferred to eat at the bar. 

The feeling of the dream was similar to how I felt when I fell asleep – I wanted out. So I walked outside and into the road where there were some parked cars. It was twilight and for some reason I was carrying in my hand a piece of bread.

As I walked farther out into the road, a orange striped cat came running towards me and grabbed onto the bread. I let it go so he could have it and noticed the cat was young, maybe only 1 year old, and very hungry. I told him he could have the bread and watched as he growled defensively and began to devour it. That was when I saw another cat of similar age come out, a little black tabby. I remember thinking the cats were abandoned and that we could give them a good home. I walked toward them and spoke softly to them so as to not scare them. That was when I noticed that the piece of bread was now a little black and white hamster. Not wanting it to die, I quickly gathered it up in my hands before they decided to eat it.

The scene went dark and I soon found myself walking outside of the house with a man. He was talking about a basement and showing me the door. I walked over the top of the basement, a large concrete slab, remarking that it might be a tornado shelter but soon decided it was too large for that.

We descended stairs and inside I was surprised to find a huge warehouse structure with steel beams. It was enormous! There were various objects around and I remember thinking about how we could use the space and talking about putting our trampoline in there as well as a weight room. As I looked around me, I remember seeing an old, white 1950s car (corvette?) and baby toys among other things. I also saw mechanic’s tools and a crane. There were others with me, both male and female, and I talked with them though I don’t remember what we talked about.

 As we talked, I kept feeling like I wanted to sleep but managed to stay awake. I believe this sleepiness is a result of my awareness shifting. I remember at one point I saw my husband holding our baby the wrong way and swooped in to save him from falling. This woke me up quite a bit and my awareness heightened.

As I was preparing to leave the warehouse I saw an adjoining warehouse just as big, if not bigger, than the one we were in. They called it the “game room” and I could see that it had a large air hockey set up where the figures were about half the size of a grown man. At first I was not interested in it but finally I went closer to see it. I noticed the platform that was holding the set up was partly broken down. I never went into the room. I recall telling my guides several times throughout this dream sequence, “I don’t want to be here” and “I want to stay”. The first statement at first seemed that I did not want to be in the dream but as the dream progressed I realized I was referring to being in this life, with my family, at this particular moment. The latter statement referred to me staying with my guides.

Astral Message

Recognizing that I was in a dream, I began to take control of my surroundings. The scene in front of me once again blacked out and I could feel the familiar shift in energy that comes from moving from one level to the next. I did not resist and allowed myself to make the transition.

When my vision returned I was standing in my son’s bedroom looking at the window, most likely very near my sleeping physical body (I wish I had thought to look at it!). I moved toward the window and  raised the blinds. I looked out and saw that my front yard was dusted with a light dusting of snow. It was sparkling and brilliant, appearing almost like tiny diamonds below me. I recall thinking the snow was not normal; that it must mean something but could not figure out exactly what.

Excited to get out of the house and explore, I opened the window and pushed out the screen. Standing on the edge of the window I peered down at what appeared to be a huge drop down to the snow below. I looked across at our oak tree and saw a pear, ripe for the picking, sparkling with specks of ice. I intended to pick the pear and for a moment hesitated, worrying I would drop to the ground instead of fly. Discarding my doubt I jumped out of the window.

At first I did fly but soon found myself pulled towards the ground. It was as if I were being led down – a very gradual downward pull/nudge. When I reached the ground I immediately bounced back up, willing myself to fly up and over the neighborhood . Yet I hesitated. Instead I looked down at the dusting of sparkling snow below and felt like I needed to go down this time.

When I got down to ground level I was met by two women who were standing in front of my garage. I knew them and greeted them enthusiastically, saying, “Hi!”. Both women were short. One was approximately 5ft tall and the other just a bit taller than that. I seemed to tower above them both.

The shorter woman had salt and pepper hair that was cut short in the typical style women in their 50s will wear. She reminded me of a woman I know in real life. She replied back to me, “Hi Dayna”. She was the one who was doing most of the talking although the other woman stayed close.

I told her, “I want to stay” but I did not have any feelings of sadness. It was just a statement of fact.

The woman smiled and said, “I know but you need to play the game”. I remember holding onto the word “game” and thinking to myself, “She called it a game”.

Although I don’t remember the rest of what she told me, I do remember that her message was clear. I could not stay there with them. I had things to do. I would get rest soon and just needed to be patient.

While the shorter woman was talking, another taller woman approached us from the side. She had been there all along but I had not really focused on her. She was very tall, probably about 6ft, and had short blonde hair. She appeared to be in her 40s and I would describe her as very German-like. Her demeanor was that of a very strong woman and she held herself very tall and stiff. I laugh now to think about her, as she looks almost identical to an actress (don’t know her name) who often plays German female characters who are strict and dictatorial. I remember that she seemed very displeased with what was going on. I got the distinct feeling that I was not suppose to be there and she was unhappy that I had been allowed to return and meet with them. I didn’t understand this and did not linger on it. I could care less that she was unhappy with me. I was there!

The three of them stood there with me and I was completely happy to be in their company. I turned and hugged each of them enthusiastically, kneeling down to hug the shorter of the three. I remember that when I hugged the tall, blonde that her stiffness softened and she hugged me back. I excitedly called out their names, calling the short woman “Mary” and the tall woman, “Christina”. When I called the short woman Mary I changed my mind and said, “No, it’s Maria”. She nodded and said, “Yes, Maria”. This pleased me to no end and I was just happy being there in their company.

It was then that Maria began to walk away with the other two. I watched her leave and then she stopped and turned around. She said to me, “Just remember to….” but stopped. I said, “What?” She seemed to reconsider her words and said, “Never mind. Just tell Daniella….” but again she stopped. I got the feeling she did not want me to remember and so stopped as I was holding on to every word she said with quite a bit of interest.

I do recall repeating what they said in my mind several times in order to remember. When she said the name Daniella I was confused. I thought, Who is Daniella? I don’t know her.

The scene went black as Maria walked away and I felt the familiar pull back into my body. As my energy settled I opened my eyes and realized I had been OOB.

Considerations

This is the first time I have had an astral experience like this (that I can remember anyway). Usually I do not get pulled toward the ground. In fact, I usually feel the opposite – pulled up. And never has my astral trip been so specifically focused upon me meeting up with my guides in such a way. Not only did I recognize these three women but I called them by name. Where were the familiar male guides I usually see in astral?

I can tell that I am advancing based upon this experience. I was very aware of the two different aspects of my Self throughout. There was the me that wanted to fly and explore (the “child”), and then there was the me who was purpose-driven and there for a reason the other me did not know about. Though distinctly different, the two were in harmony and felt more like two parts of a whole. I also seemed to know that my guides had called me there and then I remembered them and their names.

There was also so much that was not spoken aloud in this experience. The overall messages that were passed between myself and the others and between the three of them was that I was not suppose to be astralling at this time because it created problems. Mainly, it caused and increase in my desire to leave this body. I got the distinct impression that the other two female guides had chosen to speak to me and the third one was not in full agreement. It actually felt similar to parents disagreeing on how to discipline and parent a child, one insisting on following the rules and the other insisting on exceptions to those rules. Regardless, I was allowed to meet up with them and it was made very clear that I must fulfill my purpose before leaving this life.

by

The Blue Light People – May, 2012

This was a dream I had a few weeks ago and it was so detailed and real-like that I still remember every bit of it. I am convinced that it is connected to a past life of mine, probably a looooong time ago on some distant and now extinct planet. Then again, there is always the possibility that it is just a dream created in my subconscious as I slept but with all the past lives I have remembered and my conviction that we are all very, very old souls who have lived numerous lives, I am convinced that this dream is composed of real memories.

The first scene of the dream opened with me (a young, short woman with shoulder length brown hair) and a group of people who I considered family but who were not connected to me by blood. We were on assignment in a new land (planet), sent to figure out why communication with the inhabitants had suddenly stopped. We came to a large lake that was so big we couldn’t see the other side. Across it was a bridge but it was not a typical bridge, it was made of wood like a typical bridge but instead of being built up on pillars over the water, it spread out across the top of the water like a never-ending pier. It was wide enough to fit two cars and when we walked on it, it moved and adjusted itself to our weight. It was like walking on a water bed!

When we got to the other side we saw a blonde woman, unkempt and dirty with a frantic look in her eye. She actually looked like she was a bit crazy, her eyes wide and erratic. She saw us, dropped something and fled into the undergrowth. The entrance to the compound was eerily quiet but in perfect order. I went and stooped down to pick up what the woman had dropped. It was an ID card with her picture on it. I used the card to gain entrance to the compound, swiping it on a device standing near the entrance.

When we went inside there was no one around. No mess, no disorder, just quiet and still, as if awaiting everyone’s arrival. We saw the reception desk and moved around to a small room. It was set up like a gathering place but also had merchandise like jewelry and clothing on racks in the back of the room. Our leader told us to gather what we needed/wanted, and so I picked up a box and began to rummage through the items, picking out a nice necklace and some other things I felt I might need.

We left the gathering place and went into the courtyard or commons area. There were overgrown gardens and some debris littering the ground. I noticed three white goats tied to a fence. They were alive but very skinny. I went and released them but only one moved toward the grass it had been unable to reach when it was tied up. The other two were in apathy, resigned to die despite their freedom.

After the compound and finding no inhabitants remaining, we moved out to the dirt roads that had been used by the inhabitants to get from one compound to the next. We traveled down one for a while, meeting no one along the way, until we came upon a refueling station. At the entrance of the station there was an emergency vehicle. It had a compartment for storing the deceased. It was abandoned and had long run out of fuel, it’s door wide open. This was the first sign that something had gone wrong. We went inside the store to investigate.

As we entered the store looked much like the compound we had explored. It, however, was obviously meant to provide for the immediate needs of the people who passed through. It had a dining area with vaulted ceilings that were held up with large wooden beams and decorated with elaborate lighting. The shop was simple, with a clerk’s station and rows of clothing and other items to choose from. I remember looking at small children’s shoes and thinking of my current daughter (in this life). This was one of the few places where my current life seemed to intervene and take over for a short time in the dream.

While I was browsing the shoes a young girl, about 15, came running out of nowhere. She was upset with me because I was rummaging through things and not putting them back in their place. Like the blonde woman we encountered initially upon entering the compound, this girl’s eyes were wild and she seemed frazzled and mentally unstable. She muttered something I could not understand and started putting things back in their places. At one point she got so upset that she stopped and clearly said, “You’ll be sorry”. She did something I did not recognize and looked up at the vaulted ceiling. Night was approaching and I could see the colors of the sunset through the windows in the top of the ceiling. As I looked up I saw a strange blue light with yellowish coloring around the edges. It built up from the base of the ceiling on four or five sides and all parts of the light came together in the center. It got very bright and stayed that way for a while. All this time the young girl was looking up and smiling a crazy smile. She said, “The Blue Light Army is coming” and then scurried away out of the building and into the shadows that were quickly becoming darker as night approached.

Everyone in my group began to feel anxious. Something was wrong. I remember thinking, “What was the Blue Light Army?” We all assumed the blue light was a bad omen, a beacon calling this “army” to come. What would they do? Would they capture us? Kill us?

We didn’t have much time to figure out what to do. The night was falling quickly and one person alerted the rest of the group to look out the windows. When I looked there was a blue haze that stretched in all directions. It was building and getting closer to the building and within it I could see the outlines of individual human-like figures. The blue haze was all around and those that had thought of escaping to the outside, me included, quickly changed their minds. We all decided to climb up onto the wooden beams in the ceiling in hopes of staying hidden.

We waiting in the ceiling, holding our breaths. I remember thinking to myself, “Be quiet” and hoping others would do the same. I listened and it was quiet; not one sound. It was a terrifying silence. I heard a creak as the door opened and looked down through the darkness and blue haze, trying hard to find out what this Blue Light Army looked like.

A man walked through the door. He was wearing normal clothing, not armor. He had no weapons. He looked normal. He was followed by a woman, and then another man, and another man, and another. All of them seemed normal except that they had this blue light, like an aura, surrounding them. There were so many of them that they crowded into the space making it look tiny.

What kind of army was this? This was no army!

I relaxed a bit. There was no reason to be afraid! Obviously, some of the others in my group also relaxed because one slipped a bit and knocked a piece of wood onto the floor. All the people of this supposed army stopped and looked up. We had been discovered. Specifically, the man who slipped and made the noise had been discovered.

The passive group of blue light people instantly changed into a mob of intensely crazy animal-like savages. As they looked up I could see their eyes, they were an intense blue and bright but ominously empty of life. One tall one reached up and grabbed the leg of the man who had made the mistake of moving. He was dragged down into the crowd of blue light people. I heard him shriek and say, “No!” Within seconds he could not be seen. The group of blue light people enveloped him and savagely tore at his body. I looked away to avoid seeing the carnage. It was awful and my heart sank into my stomach.

I jumped down from my hiding place and raced towards the door of the building. Others in my group did the same. We ran outside and into the undergrowth, away from the grizzly scene, panicked from the chaos we had just witnessed. We were not followed by the blue light people. We hid in the undergrowth for the rest of the night, scared to move and praying we would not be discovered.

In the morning I awoke and looked around me. I noticed the strange plants around us. They were small bushes with oddly shaped leaves. There was water nearby from a lake. Scattered at our feet were tiny, yellow fruit. I picked one up and ate it. It was good so I gathered some up for later.

We all quietly gathered together and moved farther into the woods. We would be avoiding the roads from now on. We hoped to find the people that the blonde woman and young girl surely lived with. But where were they? How could we find them? The blue light people were obviously infected with something or had become crazed from living on this planet. We did not want to contract whatever they had, but we did not know enough about it to be sure we could avoid it. I felt a bit paranoid and scared but knew I must move on. We all felt this way. So we moved on.

When I awoke from the dream the vision of the beacon of blue light stayed with me as did the blue light people. It felt familiar in some way and I was glad that I was not back on that planet facing them. I shivered from the thought of it.

by

Autism and Ascension

treesunI was a bit sleep deprived yesterday as I drove in to work. It was my first day and I arrived 10 minutes late. Usually it would upset me, but I just shrugged it off. Don’t sweat the small stuff, right? My boss was understanding, which I figured he would be.

My day was a bit slow at first. I was taken for a tour of the campus and then to my office – or, er room. To my surprise my office space was the size of a small classroom with a huge walk-in closet space for storage. Wow. I was not prepared for such a large space and so felt a bit overwhelmed. But then I got to work brainstorming what I could do with the space.

Autism

After lunch I met with an occupational therapist and a speech therapist who I will be working with. I immediately like them and we discussed social skills groups for middle school students. Since my space was so large, we decided to use it for the groups. I learned that all the students involved – around 18 – are autistic or display characteristics of autism. I had been told in advance that I would be working with two autistic students but not so many. Thankfully I have the support of the OT who spent the previous year working with the students and find tuning the groups.

I am not very familiar with autism except from what I have learned via my studies and my one experience with a student with Aspergers Syndrome. From what little I know, autism can range from severe to mild with the main issue being the individual struggles with the ability to recognize social cues. There are also speech and cognitive delays early on, delays in motor development, intense interest or fixation with things, objects or activities (or the exact opposite) and other obsessive tendencies. I have an inkling that autism is the predecessor to how ascension will affect humanity in the future. This has not been fully revealed to me, however, and this is the first time I have mentioned it at all because the information is so incomplete. My exact purpose for interacting with these children is not completely known to me yet, either, but I feel it goes hand in hand with my life purpose to help prepare the path ahead for those following behind.

landscapeStrange Dream Experience

I left my first day of work feeling hopeful. My mind was buzzing with ideas on how to decorate my space so I went shopping and bought a few things. On my way home I was caught in a horrible traffic jam that I learned would not let up for hours. I spent the next hour following Navigator’s suggestion on the fastest route home. I returned home exhausted but thankfully my husband beat me home and my mother-in-law made dinner. I was able to rest and hit the sack earlier than usual.

I awoke in the middle of the night wide awake. I tried to return to sleep but just couldn’t so I set the intention to astral and relaxed on my back with my head propped up.

The next thing I remember is dreaming but the dream eludes me now. I do recall heading to bed in the dream and falling asleep. I slept very hard and when I woke I found myself floating over my family’s land in the country.

There was no vibrational fluctuations to suggest that I went OOB but yet there I was, floating outside and seeing vividly the grass, trees and sky. I instantly recognized my grandparent’s place and hovered there taking in the expansiveness of the land around me. The colors were bright but not excessively so. In fact, it was just very much like I was awake except that I was floating in the air.

I stayed there a while, not moving much, having a conversation in my mind with someone that I could not see. Of course, I don’t remember the conversation now except that I wanted to change scenes and go somewhere more interesting. The minute I had that thought I began to feel myself being pulled upward with great speed. I saw the tops of the trees and resisted the pull, knowing it would take me into outer space and then I would ultimately wake up back in my body. I did not want that and so I closed my eyes and willed myself to transition out of there. But to where? I had no set place in my mind.

I felt the familiar shift in energy that suggests I have transitioned to a new environment. Yet when I opened my eyes I was still hovering at tree level over my grandparent’s land. In front of me was their driveway and to my left was the open field they called the Klein patch.

I again recall that I was speaking with someone but I can’t remember any of the conversation now. Instead, it is all a blur and somewhat dream-like when I try to remember it in detail.

The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed, realizing I had been OOB and then deciding to go back to sleep without much thought about the uneventful astral I just experienced.

Ascension

Today I am mulling over yesterday’s events from my first day at work to the strange dream/OBE I had. What was I talking with my guide about? Why can’t I remember? And what is the connection between autism and ascension?

I feel there is more to know but that I am blocked to receiving all the information at this time. There is a part of me that is considering channeling but it has been so long since I have channeled that I am uncertain that I can keep my ego at bay well enough to get the truth.

What I am aware of is that the feelings of negativity and longing for Home that I was feeling just a few days ago has all but been extinguished. The energy that accompanied this feeling also has calmed and I, in turn, feel much calmer. I felt this way yesterday while at work as well and I found myself intuitively knowing things about people before they spoke. In fact, I had to stop or correct myself several times during conversations because those I was speaking to looked at me like, “How did you know that?” Oops!

I am still also very affected by the intense love and dedication I felt all around me while at work. I said several times, “It is obvious this place is loved” or “It is obvious someone loves this place”. I wonder if that is why there are so many more autistic children there? And I have an inkling that these children are extremely sensitive to the energy of others and of the planet and so such an environment is calming to them. And to me.

I look forward to seeing where this will lead.

by

Eleven

I forgot that if I want it and ask for it – demand it – it will be received. Silly me!

Yesterday, I wrote in my blog post that I was done with the funk I was feeling and no longer wanted it. This morning I woke up feeling normal. Rather than linger in my bed I wanted to get up immediately. I felt good. What a difference from the last few days!

All because I told the universe that I was done. Ahh, the power of intention!

Eleveneye-light

This is my last day of freedom from the workaday world. Tomorrow I start my new job. So this morning, even though I wanted to get out of bed, I lingered, taking advantage of the little me time I had.

At first I couldn’t sleep and I just tossed and turned thinking about how good I felt and how different I was perceiving things. Everything seemed so much better! The day was not dreaded. The painful heartbreak longing for Home no longer palpable.What a relief! I also felt that September would not be as bad as August. The heavy cloud of negativity and emotionality dissipating.

I must have begun to doze because my thoughts became 3D images which blended into music and color that was vividly clear. I found myself inside a two story house laying in bed. I suddenly became very aware that I was late and needed to get up. I opened my eyes and saw my brother standing over me, smiling and in a very relaxed mood. He said, “Hey, don’t you think you should get up? Its 11a.m.?” Seeing him and hearing him say the time put me in a frenzy and I immediately got up and began looking for my daughter. I also gave him a piece of my mind, asking how he could have let us all sleep so late. I had specifically set the alarm for 6:15a.m. My daughter was suppose to be at the bus stop at 7a.m. If we hurried, we could get her to school before mid-day. I also told him he needed to get ready for school as well. He was likely late, too!

While I was rushing about in this house, I got a very peculiar feeling that something was was not quite right. Where was my husband? Why was I talking to my brother? What was this house? Yet I went through the motions of the dream anyway, letting it continue. My confusion had not awakened me to the fact that I was dreaming….yet.

For some reason, I kept looking at the clock to check the time. It said 11:00 every time I looked. One time I thought it said 1:00 only to check again and see it was 11:00. The whole time I felt this urgency. I was late!

I noticed my mother’s dog following me around. She needed to go potty. I told my brother he needed to take her out, but he ignored me. Finally, I decided I would have to do it and began trying to remember if there was a fence or if I would have to put her leash on. I couldn’t remember. I asked my brother and he just laughed at me like I was nuts. Then I thought, of course there is a fence and remembered a picket white fence around the front. But what about the rest of the yard? Was there fencing?

I thought hard and recalled seeing a fence around the back and a road coming in – the driveway. To the side was a construction entrance, though, with a huge metal building. To the other side of the house was a wire fence that was horizontally spaced to where anyone could cross through. It would not keep a dog in. On the other side of it was a hotel.

I went outside with the dog as I was recalling the layout around the house and looked around. The feeling was that I was in Alaska. Alaska?? I began to panic. It was nice now, but what about later, when the snow came? I didn’t want to drive in that stuff again!

The panic I felt caused me to become very aware of my surroundings and lucidity hit me very suddenly. I got calm and stared up at the massive trees, their branches coming down near me. I looked at the huge, green leaves and they sparkled and glimmered as if they were dusted with glitter.

Then I was in my bed and I heard music. I listened to it while I watched a huge leaf shine in front of me, totally mesmerized by the leaf. Then I realized I was hearing music and I must be about to exit my body. The instant I realized it I also decided I didn’t want to leave my body. The instant I decided this, the music stopped and it was very quiet. I also could no longer see the leaf.

I lay there thinking about how I had the opportunity to leave my body, but I kept wanting to get up and out of bed. I wanted to start my day. I felt the familiar buzzing of energy that told me I could still leave, but I kept making the same decision. I wanted to get up.

11-11Geckos and 11:11

I feel clearer today than I have in a long time. It is really quite a difference and I am not sure what exactly happened to cause it. I know the energy is shifting again, I wrote about it yesterday, but this morning I can feel it. It is very obvious. But I wonder, was this shift in energy caused by my decision to not feel how I was feeling or was it caused by some universal energy shift? Or both?

I have been seeing 11:11 on the clock quite a bit lately. I just ignored it mostly because it is not uncommon for me to notice the number. However, after having the lucid dream this morning, I wonder if perhaps there was more to it?

I am also seeing more geckos. I actually saw one last night. He ran across the floor in front of me and I captured him and let him go outside. He was bigger than most I have seen and such a pretty shade of pink. Pink!

Interestingly, both the number 11 and gecko totem send the message. The gecko says pay attention to your dreams and your intuition. The number 11 also reminds us to pay attention to our intuition – specifically that it is time to connect to our higher self in order to know our mission and purpose in this life. Eleven is the number of spiritual awakening and enlightenment. So that feeling I had this morning of getting up and the message in my dream that I was late and needed to be somewhere went hand in hand with the number 11.

Dog

It is also interesting to me that I had a dog with me yesterday during one dream and again encountered a dog in this one. To see a dog in your dream symbolizes intuition, loyalty, and protection. Whenever I see a dog in my dreams it reminds me that I am not alone and my guides are there assisting me in whatever way I need. It is a message that my guides will not leave my side and will offer protection when I need it.

Big Picture

As I absorb this new feeling – which is very similar to how I felt back in May – I think I am starting to better understand what is going on with me. It is hard to put into words and I am not completely sure I could put it into words just yet anyway. The main message is that I need to trust and follow the guidance I receive, however I receive it. I also need to be prepared to make choices that will be outside my comfort zone, though acceptable once my ego is put in check. I also understand that I am in no way obligated to make any changes or choices – it is all up to me. And that I can change my mind at any time.