I am not trying to be morbid, really. It’s just that my dreams are morbid lately. Specifically they seem to be discussions between myself and my group of guides about the possibility of death in the near future.

Death

My night was filled with many wakings and, in-between wakings, lots of dreams. The first dream I recall was about my own death. In all my life I have never had a dream of my own death! The dream wasn’t about the death event itself, it was more about me, in Spirit, attending to people who would grieve my passing.

I went around in what appeared to be this hazy, 3D space that was partially lit but mostly dark and shadowy. I heard people talking amongst themselves and could see their shadows around me. They were talking about me. How the accident was unexpected and I died quickly, likely experiencing no pain. I immediately assumed it was a car accident and became more interested.

The majority of the dream continues in a haze with me hearing people talking about me and watching their reactions to my death. I saw my mother and my older sister among other people. I do not remember seeing my husband and three children. My older sister was especially upset, nearing hysterics, and her emotion drew me to her. I felt helpless as I watched her cry, knowing it was me who caused her reaction but also feeling it was necessary.

Hair Dye

This dream was a pun on death. I didn’t know it until I woke up, though.

It was set in a hair salon but it was closed and dark. I was inside and aware that someone was trying to break in. I hid beneath some chairs and watched as the people broke in. They were not bad looking but I felt I should hide anyway. There was a brief period of some part of the dream that I do not remember here. I just recall that my deceased grandparents were in it and there was discussion amongst us about our family and memories of this life. I also recall feeling as if I were with my grandparents on the Other Side waiting for the rest of my family to return Home.

At some point I found myself back in the salon talking to a woman. She was showing me a package of hair dye. She said, “I bought it for $17.99”. I remember looking at it and its contents and then telling her, “I usually pay over $100 to get my hair dyed. That is why I usually only do it once a year”.

I awoke suddenly at this point. I was frantic. Death? Hair dye = dying? What is going on??

My guide was close saying, “It’s alright” but I did not think it was alright. My dreams told me what was going on. I was discussing my own death. Why? And I remember talking to my guide some time ago about when I would die. He told me, “You will know”, as if I would just know when my time was close. I did not really understand what he was talking about back then but now, at this particular moment, I was beginning to understand.

You see, a part of me was calm and rational while the other part, the part freaking out after waking from a dream, was irrational and emotional. The rational part said it was okay, this was just part of the process and that I still had time but needed to get my shit together. I tried to ignore that part of me, wanting more to think it was all just an odd dream, but my heart felt differently and my third eye was buzzing.

Eventually, after I calmed down, I let myself doze some more but felt I would never return to sleep. As I lay there, I began feeling I should get a will written up and started to think about what to do with my assets. It was bothersome and made no sense. Really? A will? I am too young for that.

Rejected

I managed to fall asleep again and found myself in another dream about death. This time I was visiting my mother’s home in the future. I discovered that my mother had agreed to help my two sisters financially, even letting them live with her again. Rather than charge them rent she decided they needed her help for free but she told me that I would not get it for free and that I owed her $9,100 from the time when I stayed with her during hard times. I was upset. I had paid her rent and even gave her money for food during that time. If anything, we were even! I got so mad at her that I packed up my things and told my husband I was never going to talk to her again. On my way out I saw my sisters and told them I hoped they enjoyed their free ride. I was not mad at them but I did not feel a part of their life. I had a feeling of being “done” when I left the home.

When I was leaving, a group of family I did not recognize was driving up. I had a BB gun in my hand for some reason and began shooting at them. I recall seeing a pool and walking around it toward them, telling them to not be afraid, it was just a BB gun.

There was something about my grandparents in this dream as well, though I can’t recall it now. The feeling was that I was no longer a part of the family anymore. That I was not needed. There was also a feeling of injustice.

I woke up with a start again, this time wide awake. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I checked the time. 5:00am. I tossed and turned but still couldn’t go to sleep. I was also hungry. Grrr! So I got up and ate some yogurt and saw my husband leaving the house with baby in tow. He was going for a run at 5:30am. Not unusual but it got me to worrying that he would forget to get my daughter ready for school. It was his turn.

Conscious Exit

When I returned to bed for the umpteenth time I decided to just lay on my back and “rest”. I considered that I might astral since it was happening so frequently. So I asked my guide to help me experience it more thoroughly this time. I really wanted to pay attention to the details that I often ignore. But honestly, I just wanted to go back to sleep and get my dreams out of my head. I did not want to confront the possibility of my own death.

I must have fallen to sleep, but I don’t remember doing so. I became lucid almost immediately because I was laying in my bed talking to a friend’s daughter and she was acting like a little baby. She is 4 years old, though. I looked at her closely in the dream and the dream scene vanished and went black.

I immediately became aware that I was floating in a horizontal position. I thought I was in my body at first but then as soon as I had this thought I decided to test it. I floated up a bit and then I went down and through the bed. I also went vertical when this happened. I had only mental vision until I recognized I was OOB. The instant I recognized it, my vision turned on vividly.

I was hit with memories of my earlier conscious exits and the familiarity helped me recognize that all I needed to do now was seize the opportunity by taking that first “step” away from my body. I sat up and, feeling I was free, took off flying.

I do not recall leaving through the window or the passage that led from the scene within my bedroom to the one I ended up in. I was just instantly somewhere else. I was flying very fast, too. So fast that the scene buzzed by without me taking much notice.

I slowed and hovered for a moment above what looked to be a college campus because there was this green lawn surrounded by sidewalks that circled it. All about where young people in groups. Some were sitting on the grass, others were walking together with books in hand. They all seemed happy. I did not know who they were or why I was there and did not really stop to consider it. I just knew I was not interested. I also felt like I had come to a present-time scene somewhere and was literally watching students start their day at school.

I saw a young man with sandy blonde hair and a horizontally striped polo shirt walking with some friends near the road. For some reason I decided to fly right through him. When I did, I did not feel anything really except a pause, as if I were slowed down for a moment, but the young man stopped and I heard him call out in surprise. He never saw me, though.

Excited that I was successful, I flew up and over the road where I saw a group of young students waiting at a covered bus stop. I did not recognize it or where it was and just flew by, hoping to catch some of what they were saying. I was thoroughly convinced that I was in present time and hoping I could get information about where I was.

I did hear them talking but it was not about anything that could help me determine where I was. They were just talking about school, friends, things they had done – normal conversation. I gave up and flew up in the sky and felt it pull me upward. I felt unable to stop moving up and I accelerated. Immediately upon realizing I was being pulled up, my vision blacked out. For some reason, though, I calmed down and began to reorient myself in space, righting myself vertically and saying, “Clarity now” once, though not with much certainty.

When my vision returned, I was floating over a city. It was dark, right before dawn I think because I could see the commuter traffic below me with their headlights on and could see that the street lights were lit despite the early light of dawn that made it possible to see without them. I became excited at this point and flew down alongside cars as they passed by. Again, I was hoping to hear conversations that would tell me where I was. I got close to a few cars but could not get inside. I noticed some people saw me while others did not. I also noted that the cars with people in them that saw me had children in them and were very full.

I decided to get inside a car by going in through the windshield. I came close and saw a baby in its car seat and stopped short because the man inside could see me. He looked at me like, “What the hell?” I was confused. Why did these people see me?

I flew up and above traffic, watching the lights pass by like a time lapsed video of traffic at night. It was beautiful! I moved along with it, faster still, and saw an overpass in front of me. I decided to go through it and when I did I could feel every fiber of it as it passed through me. I felt, for a moment, that I became the overpass.

Alaska

Then I was on the other side of the overpass. Triumphant, my vision went black and I instantly felt transitioned to another place. This time I was not alone. I was with a small girl, about the age of nine, with strawberry blond hair that went down to her waist. She held my hand and we walked through some rooms together. I asked her, “So this is the house?” She replied, “Yes”. 

I do not remember seeing anything special about the house but I do remember wondering if this was my future house. It was nice, quaint and very pretty overall. When we got into the living area I noticed that the windows had horizontal, wooden slats over them instead of curtains and they were not solid but had large spaces between them and the next slat. I could see outside through the windows. It was in the country. I remember asking the little girl a couple of times, “Is Ms. Dee here?” I don’t remember hearing an answer and I have no idea who Ms. Dee is.

The little girl went outside and I remember saying how nice it was there. She agreed and wanted to show me the back yard. We stepped out into the sunshine and I saw tall pine trees, bright blue sky and green foliage all around. The air was crisp and familiar. It was Alaska! But, I don’t live in Alaska. I ignored the confusion I was feeling and continued to follow the girl. It was a nice place.

As I stepped into the large back yard, I noticed I was on a patio that had steps leading down. I went down a couple and saw that on my right were pens. Inside were baby chickens. Their plumage blended in with the hay and pen, a mottled brown. I said, “Oh, baby chickens!” and the little girl stopped and we looked at them. 

I then spotted baby ducks as well. They also blended in and were a mottled brown color. They were very tiny and both the chicks and ducklings did not move much.

As the two of us walked up some stairs I stopped and pointed out two chicks to the little girl. “Be careful! There are two of them!” I could barely see them as they blended in with the dark wood of the steps.

Then my vision blacked out and I again found myself horizontal and floating superimposed over my physical body. My vision was clear and vivid, though, and as I blinked I could see white lace curtains over the window. The light was bright and it was so real I wondered if I should exit my body again. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I floated there for a little while, watching the lace curtains. Then I blinked and when I opened my eyes they were heavy and resistant and I could feel the shift that comes with settling back into my body. I opened my eyes and saw purple curtains with light shining through. Where did the lace ones come from?

What is Going on?

It has been an odd month. I have astral traveled quite frequently – twice this week alone and I am only half way through this week! My dreams have also been very vivid and strange. Plus, the death theme is starting to worry me. All this along with the realization that there is some kind of planning going on while I am in dreamland has me worried. Am I really preparing to exit this life?

Yesterday, while trying to watch a video by William Buhlman on YouTube, my guide approached me and I felt this sense of urgency. I did not really want to talk but his mere presence caused me to question the crazy dreams and experiences I have been having. I asked if it was true that I was nearing the end of this life. He did not answer but instead I was hit with a memory, it just popped into my mind.

I am a runner and ran a half marathon after the birth of my second son. I remembered it vividly and then, after I realized the memory fully, I heard my guide ask me, “When did you start to feel tired?” I remembered the tired feeling hit me around mile 12 of 13.1 miles. Then I recognized a similar tired feeling in this life. The feeling hit me the beginning of last year and has been increasing ever since. I suddenly saw a correlation and ultimately why my guide was asking me to compare the two.

On a long run you come to a point where you want to give up. You can’t yet see the finish line but you have been running so long and are so tired that all you can think about is giving up. You want to stop. You are tired to your bones. But you know, if you keep going, just a little bit farther, you will see the finish line. That is when your energy suddenly returns and you run enthusiastically. The triumph is palpable and when you cross the finish line you are greeted with a mass of people and cheers. You are tired and you instantly refuel and rest. You made it.

In this life I am at the 12 mile mark, or have been for a while. I can’t see the finish line and I just want to quit. I am so tired. I ache deep inside and feel I cannot go one more step. But, if what I am shown is correct, the finish line is just around the corner. It will come into view soon and the sight of it will re-energize me. I can’t give up when I am almost there!

The logical part of me wants to know how long, of course. So I got out my calculator to determine what percentage of the half marathon was finished before I felt ready to quit. It came out to 92%. If I apply that percentage to my current life, 92% means I have 4 more years to go.

All I can say is that if this analogy is taken literally I really do need to get my shit together.

This morning my sleep was interrupted at 4am by a very upset baby boy. I spent an hour calming him down and did not expect to be able to sleep afterward. I had already had 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep but I did consider that if I fell asleep I would likely get to astral.

Broken Kindle

I found myself in a semi-lucid dream. I was in a classroom with other students, but I was not a student. I was not a teacher, either. I was just an observer. It was a small classroom and the students were in math class. Strangely they were reading books that were very thick with brightly colored pictures on them. They were reading aloud and the words rhymed in some places and in others they appeared to be puzzles. I looked at the page they were on because the teacher expected me to read but I could not locate it. As I was looking over the shoulder of a pretty black girl with long, braids down her back, I saw the word “Roosevelt” but it was mixed with pictures of the statue of liberty and other symbols. I laughed when I saw it because I knew the word despite the pictures.

I left the classroom for a moment because my eyes were very heavy with sleep and I needed to wake up. When I returned the students were all having lunch but no one was in the room to supervise them. They were laughing and horsing around. I went over to where I was sitting and noticed a dark object smashed on the floor. I rushed over to it because it looked familiar. Sure enough, it was my kindle and it had been smashed. I asked who did it and no one came forward. I looked at each of them and went to this one black kid and grabbed him. I opened up his mouth and looked inside saying, “You did it, didn’t you?” He was trying to say no as I looked at his top row of teeth and saw two missing. I said, “I knew it!” as if the teeth were proof.

Some people came in and grabbed him, dragging him away. He was protesting and angry, yelling at me. I remember thinking, “Maybe he didn’t do it?” and feeling worried I had been wrong.

Blue Raven

Something about the dream sparked memories of my present life and I became very lucid. I recalled my past, when I had similar encounters with young boys and girls like the ones in my dream. Each time I had been conflicted. I knew they were hurting, though not from me specifically, but from life, and a part of me wanted to grab hold of them and hug them all. Yet it was my job to make them accountable and I knew they must learn their lessons the hard way and my softening the consequences or giving them none at all would only prolong their lessons.

In the same instant that I became lucid and had these memories, I felt my body become very stiff and rigid. I also felt the familiar buzzing all over my body and a feeling of being in two places – in my body and out of my body. At the same time I instantly knew I was transitioning out of body and my heart began to pound in anticipation. I struggled to slow down my heart rate and calm down because I knew that it would keep me from leaving my body.

I distinctly felt every part of my body. It is like the buzzing energy made it that much more obvious that I had a body. My face, my back, my arms folded up around a pillow – all of it was very solid feeling. But there was an odd, alien feeling to it as well. It was as if I was not suppose to be there; it was very obvious my body was not me.

All these thoughts and feelings happened in an instant. As soon as I felt as if my body were a foreign object, I rolled out of it and onto the floor next to my bed. But I did not fall on the floor or go through it, which has happened to me in the past. Instead I instantly shot up and hovered in the room for an instant as I got my bearings. I knew I was OOB and could feel the momentum of my astral body as it spun and shifted hovering next to the bed. The sensations were intense and real and I knew I was more aware than I had been in a long time.

But I could not see and I wanted to. I was still able to sense my physical body strongly and felt it pulling me towards it. I felt the heaviness of the pillow up against my left eye and cheek. I kept wanting to rub my physical eyes and had an intense desire to open them. Knowing if I hovered there much longer that I would not be able to resist the pull of my physical body, I flew towards the door and down the stairs. My astral body tumbled and rolled around and around in circles as I flew. I felt like a big ball of energy tumbling forward. I remembered this feeling from my earliest astral travels and recognized that I was being reminded of this for a reason.

As I began rolling and tumbling down the stairs my vision began to flash in and out. I again knew why without knowing how I knew it. I was still to aware of my physical body and there was a slight feeling of anxiety mixed with anticipation that came with that. This caused my astral sight to fade out each time I “touched” my physical body with my mind.

I had to get out of the house. Surely that would get me far enough away from my physical body to allow me to focus on this body?

As I reached the front door I saw it clearly before my eyes. It shown like a white portal to another land and I was excited at the prospect of going through it.

I went through, expecting to feel the fibers of the door and become one with it for an instant as I went through it. But that didn’t happen. Instead my vision came on strong and clear and I was in a totally different house. In front of me was the living area, brightly lit with wood floors. Beyond that was the kitchen. I flew into the kitchen and looked at the layout. To my right was the dining area and cabinets surrounding the main kitchen. I saw the bar that opened up into the living room and recognized the white supports that held up the upper cabinets. To the left was another open area and I could see personal items tacked to a cork board. I knew this place. But from where? I couldn’t remember.

I went up to the cork board to get a closer look. Perhaps I could find something written there that could tell me whose house I was in? I saw letters but when I read them the meaning was lost to me. It was like the moment I read what was written the words became jumbled and unintelligible. I saw what looked like a little girl’s birthday party invitation. It had pink and silver and gold stars that came out in a star burst above some pink lettering. I gave up reading anymore, though, because I was getting nowhere.

I instinctively knew that the hallway behind the kitchen led to bedrooms, so I followed it and went into the first bedroom on the right. I was looking for someone but I didn’t know who.

I saw the bed and no one was in it. Where were they? Then I looked to my right and curled up on a sofa on one side of the room with a blanket over them was a body. I knew it was a woman. I saw a flash of her face in my mind. She had short, reddish blond hair and a round face. She appeared to be in her mid-40’s. I flew towards the woman’s sleeping body with my arm outstretched and put my hand right into the bundle that was her body. My hand went inside of her to where her heart should have been, but I felt no resistance. I honestly have no idea why I put my hand inside of her. Some part of me, however, felt I was intruding and doing something “wrong” and anticipated the woman’s response. I felt as if I were playing a joke on her.

The woman’s astral body came flying up and out of her body in a panic. She flew out the room so quickly that it surprised me and I turned to try and catch her. It must have shocked me as well because I went back to my own body. Before I knew it, I again felt my body, rigid and stiff and buzzing with energy. I tried to get out of my body again but felt pinned inside it, my arms and legs heavy and cumbersome. My mind raced. I want back out but I have to get up soon. I want to get out but I have to get my daughter ready for school.

Then I saw this bird fly out in front of my astral eyes. A large raven. I watched it fly up and away from me and down the stairs. I followed, feeling again the tumbling of my astral body, but my physical body weighed me down, pulling me back to it. It felt as if I were dragging my physical body behind me. I tried to focus on the bird and watched it fly in circles at the top of the stairwell. As I watched it, my vision began to strobe – black/white to color, black/white to color. When I saw in color, the bird was a vibrant blue.

I struggled to stay OOB, hovering in the stair way watching the blue bird flying around. It beckoned to me to follow it. But I couldn’t. I had to wake up. It was time to wake up.

Finally, I gave in. It was time to wake up. I opened my physical eyes and checked the time. 6:09am. Time to get up.

Who is Ray?

But I didn’t want to get up yet. I still had time. So I lingered in bed for a bit, dozing. As I did, I saw an image of what appeared to be a large bowl or disc. It was so large a person could fit inside of it. Then I saw a man’s face in front of the disc and the hint of a blue color around it. The man had dark brown hair and brown eyes with pale skin and appeared to be in his early to mid-thirties. I did not know who he was but I said to my guide, “That’s Ray”. He said, “Yes. Did you know he committed suicide?” “No!”, I said. “He killed himself?”, I asked. “Yes”, was the reply. “Too bad”, I said. It was as if some part of me knew who this man was.

Wondering about the man in the vision I saw I thought perhaps the message was that this man had killed himself in a past life. It felt right and I let it be. Besides, I had no Earthly idea who this man was.

Thoughts

Before going to bed last night I spoke with my guide briefly. I didn’t say much but what I did say was in reference to the “discrepancy plan” that came up in yesterday’s blog post. I thought about how difficult it has been to be living this life in between two worlds. My guide agreed with me and told me it was done by finding balance. I knew this to be true. I told him, “If I could do something for me it would be alright”. After thinking for a bit I thought that if I got to astral travel more that it could help with that balance. I questioned my guide about it and he said, “You’re right”, which surprised me. I thought astral would cause more problems but it seems that perhaps it has been decided that it might do more good than harm. I then thought it may be good to use astral to help me with life, like I have seen so many others say it has. I then set the intention that if I did get to astral more that I want more awareness while OOB. I want to feel more, hear more, experience more and experience it more fully.

After the conversation last night, it is not really surprising that I got to leave my body this morning. I felt very connected to my guide throughout, though he was not visible, which is common. I also seemed to know that what was going on was a reintroduction to some of the basics that I had been taught years ago. My awareness was heightened and the movement of my astral body very noticeable when in the past it has been less so. I also felt my physical body and my astral body as two very different things. My physical body felt foreign and very much like the vehicle that it is. I do not remember feeling such a distinction in the past.

I am intrigued by the appearance of the raven in my dream. This bird has powerful symbolic meaning. It is truly a bird of death and rebirth, transformation and intuition. He is a guide, showing one their true and correct path. The blue color symbolizes communication and psychic awareness. In my OBE the raven was encouraging me to follow him. I now wish I had.

I was awakened at 6:30am by my middle child looking for me. I did not want to get up but followed him down the stairs and saw that my mother-in-law had been at our home but was not there at present. Her stuff was there, though, and our baby was gone. I assumed she was out shopping and would be back so let my son play and went back upstairs. I asked my oldest, who was awake, to go down with him and I curled up in her bed.

First OBE

I fell back to sleep easily and suddenly found myself fully aware in the midst of a sexual dream. I was in my bed with my husband about to do “the deed” but when I looked up to see him this old, gray haired, skinny, wrinkly guy was staring at me with a smile on his face. I wondered who he was but couldn’t place him. He did not scare me until he pointed down to his manhood. When I looked down I saw this huge penis that had to be three feet long. I immediately popped back into my body and then lay there, eyes closed wondering what had just happened.

Second OBE

I must have fallen back to sleep and was immediately back OOB. This time my vision was gone and I was alone. I knew that I needed to open up my root chakra so my energy would flow better and I could stay OOB. I don’t know how I knew this, though. I felt around and found a wall and pressed up against it. When I did, I felt my root chakra activate a little but I tried not to focus on it. Instead I was just waiting, as if knowing something was about to happen.

I felt the familiar shift in energy that says I have moved from one location to another. I don’t know how this happened or when, it just did. I found myself in my bedroom again and immediately moved toward the door to leave. I do not remember the room much except that it was my bedroom. What is odd is that the bed was on the wrong side of the room.

I flew down our stairs to the living area below. That is when the lights seemed to come on and my vision became clear and vivid. Everything was shifty, though, as if it were not real and was in the process of being created. I saw my mother-in-law and two oldest children. I also saw furniture all over that was not ours. It very gaudy looking with large, print flowers in bright colors. I looked specifically at a loveseat that was green with tiny white flowers on it.

My daughter was yelling something at me, trying to get my attention. She was excited and running around me, as was my son. This is common and can be quite irritating but I just ignored it and looked for the front door. When I found it I intended to open it but never did, I just went to the other side of it.

When I went outside I encountered an unfamiliar scene. There was snow on the ground and I could see houses with pointed roofs spread out in front of me. I was in a subdivision but not the one I live in in real life. The houses were identical and also multicolored. Some pink, others red, some yellow, others blue. They were not as bright as the furniture inside the house, though. This might have been because the sky was gloomy and heavy with clouds. If I could have felt the temperature it would have been very cold.

I looked around for a moment and then lifted up and took flight. I didn’t know where to go, so I just hovered over the tops of the houses for a while. Then I noticed the one house across the street from mine was broken. It actually looked like pieces of a puzzle. I could see entire sections in 3D and see the furniture and fixtures inside each piece. I flew closer to inspect and tried to stop but I felt swept away by something/someone. I got a communication not to inspect the home that was without words. I ignored it, slowed down, and attempted to touch the top of one of the pieces of the home. The roof peeled away revealing another roof. The whole time I could feel my astral body being pulled away from the piece. I remember saying to the voiceless voice something about how it wasn’t right for the roof to peel away.

I guess I did the wrong thing because I felt the familiar pull back to my body.

Third OBE

I immediately intended to return and found myself back inside my bed in my bedroom. I could see the green colored covers of our quilt and a woman was standing next to me, talking to me. She presented me with a tiny, white kitten. I focused upon the kitten, feeling its soft fur and snuggling with it. I saw its tiny little eyes and ears and looked at its tummy as I scratched it. It was the sweetest thing! The whole time the woman stayed with me, talking, but I don’t remember what she said as I was too focused on the kitten. However, towards the end of petting the kitten I heard my daughter say, “She can’t have a cookie!” and I saw in my mind a round, sugar cookie. I also knew that the cookie was special and if eaten would take the person to glorious worlds.

Fourth OBE

Again, I felt the familiar sensation of returning to my body but immediately intended to return and so I did. I was again in my bedroom and rather than stick around for more kittens and talk of cookies, I flew up and out of my bed. I went to the window and could not see out of it. I set the intention to leave and the next thing I knew I was outside the house at the front door staring at the same snow covered ground and multicolored houses with pointed roofs.

I again flew up and over the tops of the houses. This time I was singing, but now I can’t remember what I was singing. I do remember catching myself singing and thinking how I was making up the song as I went. It made me smile.

As I lifted higher I made sure not to go too high, remembering how I would often times be swept up and out into space, which I didn’t like to do. I never knew where to go once that high and it always resulted in an end to my OBE. So I traveled over the tops of the houses until the scene changed to that of a city. I could see the gray colored rooftops of buildings spread out below me. Even though I was singing and happy, the scene continued to seem shifty and gray. If I looked too hard at something it would ripple as if the image were not real but just a holograph.

I came to a brown wood building, I think it was a church, and decided to settle down on the ground. I walked along the streets for a while and stopped singing when I spotted a group of thugs bullying a young man. There was about five of them, all wearing dark sweatshirts with hoods. They were also all dark complected. The young man they were bullying was wearing similar attire and was also dark complected. I could hear them shouting at each other and the leader of the group held a metal stick of some sort in his hand.

I immediately flew over and landed right in front of the group between them and their prey. I could see their faces clearly and looked from one to the other. The leader looked familiar to me and I recognized him to be someone I knew. I was shocked that he would be doing something so awful and remembered a similar shock I had when I knew him in this life. As I looked at his face, it shifted like everything else, but I remembered his name and felt sad for him. In real life I watched him change from a promising young man into a dark, angry one. I remember thinking it sad that he had all this light yet was allowing himself to be overcome with darkness.

I grabbed the metal stick out of his hand and yelled at him to leave the guy alone, telling him he knew better. The metal staff was in fact a fire poker and the pointed tip came inches from his nose. They all smirked at me but the leader backed off and the young man they were taunting took off in the other direction.

Fifth OBE

I stayed in the street for some time but what I did is lost to me. It seems that I lost interest in the OBE at some point, though, and came back into my body. I stayed there for a while, wondering what time it was and feeling an urge to wake up, but I was not ready to yet. I wanted to go back and look for my grandmother. Surely if I was encountering people in astral I could find her since she had been so close to me these last few days?

Within moments of setting my intention, I left my body and found myself standing once again at the door to my home. As I went through the door I thought, “There will be no snow” and sure enough I saw bare ground. Yet this time there was an eerie silence that surrounded me and everything. The sky was still gray but as I looked about the scene changed and the sky was blocked from my vision. Instead of being in the subdivision as before I was standing inside what appeared to be an atrium made of metal and glass that rose hundreds of feet above me. I could see that the structure was huge and completely enclosed. I knew I would likely find no way out.

I flew up, watching the gray metal beams continue despite how high I flew. I searched for people, for movement, but found none. All I saw were more metal beams supporting massive amounts of glass. I called out, “Nanny!” several times, but my voice just echoed, unheard.

At some point I reached the top of wherever I was. I felt hope then and soared up and looked down below me at the conglomeration of metal and glass. The sky brought more light to my vision and I recognized that I had felt suppressed, almost claustrophobic, up until this point.

Then I saw motion below me. I spied a woman with short, dark hair wearing a gray blue jogging suit running along the top of one of the metal and glass buildings. I flew down towards her yelling,”Nanny?”

When I reached her she stopped and looked at me. I saw her face, shifty like the others and like everything else. She at first appeared medium skinned with a deeply etched wrinkled face. She was definitely not my grandmother but she was old. I again asked, “Nanny?” She just looked at me and her face shifted to a lighter color but the wrinkles remained. I asked her, “Have you seen my Nanny?” She replied, “No. I haven’t seen anyone around here”. She mumbled something else and then looked straight at me and asked, “Do you really want to kill yourself?” Shocked at her question, I pulled back and away from her. Then I awoke suddenly in my body and immediately opened my eyes. I again felt a need to get up, so I did. It was 8:30am.

Reflection

In considering these OBE’s, I am certain I was in the lower astral plane somewhere. I was not in a horrible place but it was definitely not as wonderful as places I have been in the past. The part that sticks out to me the most is how shifty the images were. They appeared clear at first but the more I focused upon them, the more they shifted and changed. Because of this I feel that all of it was a reflection of myself, even the people I met up with. I don’t know what to make of my experiences this morning except that I was being shown aspects of myself that need tending to. I withdrew from the last experience the most because the question asked was so forward and unexpected. I wish I could have stayed and told the woman, “No” and explained, but I guess that was not meant to be.