Category Archives: energy

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Dream “Shake-Up”

I felt unsettled last night. I kept waking up and when I did sleep it was quite light.

Dream: Shake-Up

In this dream I was with a few other people inside a large building that housed an empty indoor pool. My memory is hazy but I was being asked to hurry and go with them back to school, but I turned around and told them I had to get something. I ran across the empty pool, from the deep to the shallow end, and went inside a room. The room looked to be a bedroom and I thought of it as the room of my sister. My intention was to go through her stash of snacks.

When I got to her dresser and opened the drawer I started grabbing snacks by the handful, specifically looking for chocolate. I recall seeing a bag of cigarettes. The boxes were completely white with no markings but I knew that was what they were. I left them alone, took a bunch of sugary snacks and left.

I recall the walk across the empty pool took longer than I expected. It was enormous! As I got to my friends waiting on the deep end they pointed behind me. When I turned and looked I saw two people coming out of the back door I had just come through. I knew to hurry up and get away from them. For some reason one of them, the man, felt like the principal and I felt like I had done something wrong.

When I reached the other side a female friend and I began to walk along a sidewalk. She spoke to me about all the classwork I had missed and would need to make up. I responded that I thought that I could make it up since I had been sick. She seemed to indicate that I was faking and I told her, “Well I am back now aren’t I?” I remember that I had come back to school after being gone for a very long time – months maybe. The assignment we were talking about came into my mind as a visual of popcorn. It was odd.

At one point the woman got upset with me. She put her hands on my shoulders and began to shake me while saying, “You need to stop prostituting yourself!” The shaking was vigorous but what she said is what got my attention the most. I woke up.

When I woke I felt weird. I was laying on my left side and so turned to lay on my back. It seemed to me like the shaking was a warning that my guidance cannot do anything to help me if I don’t help myself. My heart was skipping beats and I think I was feeling residual energy and vibrations at the same time. It was not a comfortable feeling so I got up to use the bathroom, got back in bed and tried to settle down.

Also, there was another shaking episode before this but I don’t remember anything except the sense of being shaken.

Dream: Hospital Treatment

I entered into another dream where I found myself inside a hospital waiting to see the doctor. There was memory of recently having gone through a procedure related to my heart. I remember hearing people discussing my case but can’t recall specifics. I felt somewhat out of it, like in a daze – how I suspect someone would feel who just got told they had a terminal illness. All I wanted to do was find a bed and go to sleep.

I lingered near a shelf full of pills and vitamins and picked up a large bottle. I remember thinking it was massive and was what the doctor had prescribed me. I also knew I would have to take them the rest of my life. The bottle ended up empty except for two pills – one was a multi-mineral pill (large and speckled) and the other looked like a B-complex (small and yellow). I actually spit them out into the bottle after it seemed like I had taken the entire bottle of pills at one time.

A woman called to speak to me about a future appointment on the 22nd. She was a counselor and had been away on vacation but was returning and reminding me of our Tues appointment at 3:15. She asked if I would be there and I told her I had a dentist appointment at 3:30.

Considerations

The first dream is the one that sticks with me the most. Not only did I physically feel the woman shaking me but what she said bothers me. What does “prostituting” ones self mean in a dream context? Was she suggesting that I am giving away my power? Or was it literally about me using my body as a means to gain from my husband a false sense of security? Probably both. Typical of my guides to just say it like it is but to shake me, too. Damn!

The empty pool means feeling devoid of emotion or it might indicate that past mistakes will not be repeated. It can be also that the cleansing or healing “pool” has dried up. The sweets are me focusing on the good things in life or seeking them out. Cigarettes are sources of toxicity in my life. Thankfully, I choose to leave them. The popcorn represents good fortune or a windfall. My missing school and pretending to be sick, indicates I am avoiding something or that my symptoms have been self-created to avoid something – the windfall perhaps?

In the second dream I am being told some important news about the state of my “health” in this case most likely spiritual but it could also be physical. This could be a worry dream as well. The pills are problem solving and the struggle to resolve one or more issues. The appointment could be symbolic of the conflict I am experiencing – get counseling (work on myself) or go to dentist (handle problems first).

Crazy, Bi-Polar Energy

All I can say about the energy since August is WTF Universe? I had one day – ONE DAY – where I felt good and optimistic and now it seems like the energy is shifting up, down, up, down, and even sideways.

Yesterday, it felt like the energy was literally pushing me, like forceful, but toward what? I have no idea but it came with that feeling like the other shoe is about to drop. Yay – love that feeling…not. Then towards evening it all just calmed down and leveled out.

This morning after being shaken twice in the night and having the above dreams I felt slightly anxious, but it settled within a couple of hours after waking. The energy feels lower today, like it is heading into another build-up.

This is what I perceive about all this crazy bipolar energy that wants to PUSH. It reminds me of the energy in 2016, actually. It is saying, “Clean your shit UP!” And those of us (like me) who hate cleaning or have been in avoidance all this time or distracted by life are feeling the push the most.

I like to think I have my shit together when it comes to my life path/mission, but I don’t. My guidance likes to remind me to “follow the 8 Winds (of Buddhism)” and they recently nudged me again. I have been learning all about how to not seek out pleasure and I think I have learned that lesson pretty well since 2015 (pats self on back), but it occurred to me that I am failing at the other half, which is to NOT avoid pain and discomfort. It isn’t saying to jump head first into pain and discomfort, just to be open to experiencing it. I think I might be the Queen of avoidance of anything painful and uncomfortable. My guidance has their work cut out for them.

Probably why they are shaking me……

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Dreamwork Accelerates

I am beginning to notice a pattern emerging. The nights bring inner work, work that I do not look forward to. Before bed I can sense it coming. It brings that energy sick feeling; an inner resistance and avoidance of something surfacing from my subconscious.

Dream Mix – Fence, Wagon, Game, Wedding Rehearsal 

This dream is broken up and patchy in the beginning, so bear with me.

The first scene is outside in a field with two parallel fences (barriers to progress or between levels of consciousness). The inner fence is electrified and has contained within it very large cats (feminine power, how one wields their power). I can’t recall what kind now but I think they were yellow like lions or mountain lions. The outer fence is an area where the family children (innocence, purity) and pets can roam freely. I remember seeing an individual wandering out in the outer yard and seeing one of the large cats at the edge of the electrified fence trying to get to him. The cat tested the fence despite being electrified and started to ram into it head first. I saw the fence buckle but not give in. I called to the individual who I remember both as a small boy and as a small animal like a cat so I don’t know which it was. It felt like sending anyone to the outer yard was not safe anymore and I remember thinking it not wise to venture out there even with the protective electrified fence.

In the next scene I am invited inside by a group of three women. We sit at a table and one woman suggests we play a card game. She begins to deal the cards and asks me if I want some wine (relaxation, ease), but it is like a sparkling version. I hesitate and she urges me to take some, so I do. Then we focus on the game and I see a pile of cards in the center with one turned over. There is a multiple choice question on it and we are to look at our cards to see if they match the answer. Mine does but before I can say my answer to win the round the woman starts to deal again. I protest, saying I did not get ample time to answer and asked where the timer was (I saw a mini hourglass in my mind). I told her we needed one and she ignored me, intent on playing the game without one. In my mind I saw how not having a timer worked to her advantage and felt it was very unfair.

The scene shifts again and I am on a wagon in the woods with a group of men who have taken captive two young girls. The man in charge is getting ready to set off when it is brought to his attention that the girls are the daughters of someone he knows. Hearing this, he instructs his men to let the girls go and to give them money for their journey. The girls are left on the dirt road and the wagon leaves. I am with them and urge them to go but they are reticent. I say to them, “You should count yourself lucky! He let you go and gave you money, too! He obviously cares about what happens to you!” The girls wise up and walk down the road. There is one who is very cautious and I ask her, “I am curious, when were you born?” She says, “November.” I ask, “When in November? Early on or later in the month?” She says, “November 17th.” I say, “Oh wow! Then you are all Scorpio! That is my dad’s birthday. But you aren’t acting like a typical Scorpio. You are being very mental, like an air sign” Then I ask them, “What sign would you want to be if you could pick? I would be a Taurus…..or better yet, Aquarius! Aquarius is the water bearer, a beautiful and graceful woman.” In my mind I saw the water bearer – an angelic woman with flowing hair and clothing – and wanted very badly to be her.

The scene shifted yet again. I am with a small family group. The daughter is about to be married. I suggest we stop by the hotel where the wedding is to be held to take a look. Inside, I look down the spiral, brown carpeted staircase. It is very high and steep. I say, “I would trip if I walked down that in a wedding dress, even the simple one that I wore on my wedding day.” At the bottom of the stairs I am getting dressed in what I will wear at the wedding. I wrap around me a corset-type piece of clothing. It is hard to maneuver myself inside of it. It squishes my breasts up and against my body. It is made of black satin and very beautiful. When I am done I show it to another women. She walks around me, looking closely and then asked me, “What have you done with your hair?” I see what she sees and instead of the corset being around my bosom it is around my head and looks very much like a black crown. It reminds me of the witch’s crown in Sleeping Beauty (Maleficent). My hair is bundled up on top with a long strand coming down. I told her, “I don’t know.”

The dream continues with a reception gathering at what resembles the inside of a church (seeking guidance/insight). I am standing among the pews along with everyone else looking ahead but I am not looking at what everyone else is. Instead, I see a tall, familiar man standing and facing me, his back to the front of the room. He is lit up brightly compared to everyone else and I cannot not avert my eyes no matter how hard I try, and I did try. He is younger than I recall in his photos but it is definitely him. He seems to be communicating with me but I am avoiding his communication and him. I do not want him to know I am looking at him. I am acutely aware of the whole scene; it feels as if time slows and despite others being in the room I sense only us. I look away but feel his focus on me. When I look back he catches me looking. This happens several times until I finally turn and walk away.

Then I encounter my mom and we are together a short time before she says to me, “I forgot something at home. I’ll be right back.” When she returns a short time later she has a huge black eye. I ask her what happens and she replies with, “I’ll tell you later.” I know that she returned home and her husband hit her in a drunken rage.

Then I am talking with some women but I can’t recall what all we said. My main recollection is saying to them, “Why did I have to fall in love with a man who doesn’t love me?” I burst into tears, my chest heaving and waking me up. The tears continued briefly after I woke.

Interpretation

After waking I feel the top of my head alive with energy. It is as if the black crown is still on my head. Similarly, my chest feels constricted as if the corset is still tightly wrapped around it. I try to wake fully but continue to fall into the in-between, the dream still vivid in my mind. I recognize the man in the church and wonder if he is aware that he visited me. I think of the black eye on my mother and recognize that she is me, going back to a situation that is harmful because she feels that is all she deserves.

The more I mull over the dream in the in-between the more my heart and head light up with energy. My heart is opening and closing; energy explodes out and then contracts inward. I think to myself, “I am trying to protect myself.” I see the black corset and know this to be true. I know the wagon portion of the dream is a message from myself to me. I tell the girl that the man let her go and gave her money because he cares about what happens to her. She should be grateful for his gift.

I know the whole dream sequence goes together despite seeming separate. The fence holding back the big cat is likely about me holding back my power, my scared femininity and sexuality. It is held back for now but threatening to break through. I fear it will destroy my innocence or a part of me that I feel is vulnerable. The game is about feeling a situation is unfair; feeling I do not have enough time and being overruled by circumstance. The wagon portion could be a past life memory or just me recognizing that I want to be this ideal version of myself – the water bearer – and reminding myself of a gift I have been given but have not recognized fully yet.

The wedding scene is likely about my own “wedding” which is symbolic of Hieros Gamos – the merging of the Divine masculine and feminine within. The corset is symbolic of something restrictive holding me back and specifically affecting my heart and crown – the head and the heart at at odds perhaps? Maleficent could be symbolic of my journey as a woman or of the plight of women in general. The man is familiar and shines like a beacon of light. Perhaps I see him as a guide or someone who can help? And I have already mentioned my mother, her black eye and how she represents me – perhaps the “old” version. My statement in the end reveals my struggle with coming to terms with a love that will never be returned.

This song was in my head when I woke:

 

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Energy Sick

How has 2019 been treating you?

I have been okay but it has been touch and go. On the 30th my inner thighs were extremely sore to the point that it hurt even when I was not moving – probably a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10. I had knelt down to clean something and when I got up I was in pain. So I did about an hour of yoga, which helped a bit. Afterward, I experienced something akin to a mild stomach flu that lasted only 4 hours. It came with an awful headache, chills, diarrhea, slight nausea and extreme thirst.

1/31/18 went by without incident but yesterday was energetically intense. The entire day I felt this strange inner, energetic icky feeling that seemed to coincide with interaction with my husband. He was extra pushy and his energy felt similar. By evening the feeling was unavoidable and strong enough that I began to feel like my entire world would disintegrate at any minute. The feeling is a sense of imminent destruction, like something bad is about to happen. It’s kinda like two magnets repelling one another. It is the same feeling I’ve been having for weeks. It has made me want to up and run. It has made me feel like I am going to pass out. It has made me feel panicky, crazy and broken to the point of tears.

Last night, with the feeling sitting on me like a huge weight I felt like it was going to break me. I asked my guidance for help and felt to focus on my core, which I did, and the feeling lifted.

Dream: Ride Home

The dream began with me deciding not to wait for the bus (temporary setbacks) anymore. Instead, I would walk down the road to catch it on another, earlier part of the route. As I walked I checked my watch and saw I had 10 minutes which I knew was enough time.

The road was familiar, one I had walked and ran more times than I can count. It was dark but the sun was beginning to rise in the distance so there was enough light to see by. I heard a noise that was alarming and saw a huge tiger (power and one’s ability to exert power in a situation) running toward me in the far distance. As it grew closer I could hear a noise from behind me calling to the big cat and it responded in kind. I said to myself aloud, “He is after the other tiger, not me” and kept walking. The big cat ran past me and continued behind me toward its intended target. Thankful, I shuddered at how massive it was and the thought of what could have happened if he had decided he wanted me.

The light increased and I saw tall flowers (hidden potential, love, happiness) ahead of me. They towered two feet above my head and seemed to have been placed there purposefully like a living bouquet. Awed by their beauty I began to pick my favorites, collecting mostly red ones and a large sunflower. With my bouquet in hand I heard sirens (caution) and spotted emergency lights coming toward me on the road. I hid behind the large flowers trying not to be seen and dropped my bouquet as I watched the police car slowly drive by. I worried I would be seen but the police car continued on but not after altering the scene.

The road was suddenly full of people, all heading toward the bus like I was. Most had stopped to rest along the way and taken seats in what appeared to be a subway or train car. I spotted a beautiful butterfly (transformation) that looked fake it was so perfect. A little girl grabbed it gently and I yelled out to her to be careful or she might hurt it. A woman nearby said, “Don’t worry. She handles them all the time.” The girl took the butterfly, which was extra large like the flowers I had just been picking, and gently set it on a table. I took out my camera to take a picture and the butterfly transformed into a silver beetle. Upon inspection, the beetle (values and beliefs being compromised) looked to have a design on its back like a puzzle or a maze. It was flat and moved oddly, six legs would pop out of hiding when it moved and then disappear when it stopped. Fascinated, I watched it for a while until a head popped out on a long neck and stared at me with two beady eyes and a turtle-like (slow down) face.

Suddenly acutely aware of the time, I realized I was late and would miss the bus if I didn’t get moving. I headed down the road and through rows of people sitting in seats and stopped in my tracks when I realized I had forgotten my backpack. I had left it among the tall flowers. I looked ahead and knew the bus was soon to arrive. I asked people around me if they had seen my backpack (burdens, responsibilities) but they ignored me, eyes focused on a screen ahead of them playing a movie. I eventually yelled but none noticed me.

I ran back toward the flowers, spotted my backpack and grabbed it but at the same time I heard the bus arrive. I turned to look and saw it leave. I had missed it.

Disappointed, I knew I had to go back up the road to try and catch it at the normal stop in front of my home. Knowing if I walked I would never make it, I sought out someone with a car. I asked loudly as I pointed up the road, “Is anyone heading back that way?” A young girl, possibly the one who had grabbed the butterfly, said to me, “I will take you home.” Relieved I looked for her and spotted her standing near a woman. She was very small, about the size of a 5 year-old child. Her brown hair was in low pigtails that touched her shoulders and she had a hairband around her forehead.

I smiled at her and said, “Thank you so much. I don’t remember my name but people call me Dayna.” She smiled at me and looked at the woman next to her. She said, “I don’t remember my name either.” The woman smiled encouragingly and said, “His name is Anaya Seth, but everyone calls him Seth.” The realization hit me that this little “girl” was actually a boy named Seth. The name struck a chord and lucidity hit me all at once and woke me up. Note: The name Anaya means “completely free”.

Message

When I woke up I wondered about my dream for a bit and heard a voice respond to my thoughts with, “You’re living a lie.” Not sure it was true I thought a bit and then asked, “Okay. What is my truth then?” I was reminded that I had been shown my truth and I replied that no specifics about how to live it had ever been received. Within the conversation I fell into the in-between where I was speaking to a young girl who resembled me and telling her what to do. Of course, I don’t remember what I told her but instead a song was playing in the background of my mind. Right before I heard the song I was wondering again what my truth was. As if to answer my question I heard, “She’s got both feet on the ground……she’s got her head in the clouds….this girl is on fire….”

Wide awake I continued to consider the dream and message. I was reminded of a Kundalini video I recently viewed in which it was mentioned that a person who resists the urge to change that comes with the Kundalini will experience a split feeling until they make the changes needed to align with their truth.

I requested help in determining the changes I need to make. It may seem obvious what I should do, but I don’t feel it is that simple. Tearing down everything that is my life is not something I desire, nor do I think it is necessary. It seems an insurmountable task to even confront one change that is needed, much less all of the changes that are needed. But if I continue to feel this icky feeling inside, if it continues to make me feel unable to physically stay where I am with more intensity than it already has, I will either experience a mental breakdown or I will act upon it (or both).

 

 

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Holiday Ego Resurgence

Sleeping very deeply and very tired in the evenings. This holiday season has wiped me out! After two different times at the dealership to get my MIL a new car (long story), I think the energy was just sucked out of me. Prior to that, having a meeting with my BIL and SIL to handle their dept also left me feeling this way. I feel prompted to help but at the same time strangely resentful of my own actions, like I am being forced to help and my Ego child is throwing an internal tantrum. This makes me a bit grumpy and withdrawn around others. But of course it would!

I’ve been noticing some physical responses to this stress (or maybe it is more than that?). From since Christmas day I have been sensitive to certain foods – coffee, sugar, and alcohol specifically. I feel “off” if I drink more than a cup of coffee. It is more than just jittery, it is like overly “open” or sensitive to others’ energy. Christmas day we went to extended family’s house for present opening. I had two cups that morning and by the time we arrived, the group, which was rather large, was overwhelming to me. I had to go into another room by myself to avoid it. I did this for half the morning until, finally, the last hour, I was able to join in a bit.

The day before Christmas we had a meeting with my BIL and SIL and the same kind of “off” feeling plagued me. This time I think it may have been stress related because I had not had too much coffee or any sugar. Agreeing to let them put their debt onto our zero interest credit cards eventually overwhelmed me. $40,000 of debt that is not mine yet now in my/our name is a lot to swallow. I do trust them but at the same time I know that if they choose to not pay their debt that it would be mine and there would be no way out of it. It is a big risk to take for anyone, much less me who would not consider doing such a thing for my own sister or family member (other than my mom).

The same kind of feeling plagued me both times at the car dealership. The first time not as much as the second. Agreeing to buy a car for my MIL, using my credit and name to finance a car I will never drive, a car that costs $20k (the first time $30k but was returned) caused me to have a near panic attack on the way home. Again, I put my name/credit at risk because if things go south then I am the one who is responsible in the end. Both my BIL’s intend to contribute to the payments but it is still a big burden to carry.

All this for my husband’s family. The first because I woke up Knowing I needed to help my BIL and SIL. The second because my MIL’s car situation was causing financial strain on the whole family, especially my own along with too many arguments, and one day I felt urged to do something about it. So I did.

A part of me knows all will be well but another is freaking out and angry that I am not getting to have what I want. This other part feels it very unfair, feels my MIL undeserving, and feels fear at the prospect of things going wrong. Yet what am I to do when I wake up KNOWING I am to help and feeling eager to do so? And how do I resist a sudden urge to resolve my MIL’s car situation that seemed to come out of nowhere and did not align with my previous decision to not help?

All of this is likely the result of a bit of Ego resurgence. It comes with all sorts of resentment and feeling denied the things I want out of this life. Mostly there is impatience at having to continually wait (or at least that is how it feels). I’m sure to others in my family I seem a walking contradiction right now. Heck, I feel that way!

My only guess as to what is happening is that I am following my HS/purpose as intended and my Ego is upset that this takes precedence over her own wants/desires. I had no intention of helping out the way I did yet both times I did so without thinking and followed through until the end. What does that mean? HS is in charge, which is exactly how it should be. BUT the grumpiness of my lower self is not how it should be. There should be understanding, acceptance and surrender and I think it is coming but some work will be needed to return to that balance. All is not lost. What has been accomplished on a spiritual level has not been in vain. Progression is a continual process. The Ego doesn’t vanish. It just needs to be handled as a small child would, but gently and without reacting harshly or punishing severely lest there be a full-out rebellion.

Duck Dream

I had lots of vivid dreams but most were forgotten upon waking. I’ve just been too tired to care or bother to try and remember. But one dream did persist in my memory.

The dream memory begins with me walking out the back of a house, presumably my mother’s, and seeing large pond shaped like a figure eight without the inner loops. When I saw that there were ducks in the pond I said, “Oh! There are ducks! Why didn’t you tell me there were ducks! I need to get my camera!” I went back inside to fetch my camera and returned to the back porch. Then I noticed a separated small, circular, raised tub full of water. In it seemed to be large pieces of an engine of some sort, maybe a pool sweeper as I could see tubing. The whole tub was swirling around like a whirlpool, white pieces of the machine surfacing and then re-submerging. Within all of it I could see a small Mallard duck struggling to get to the surface. I could see that it was still alive and when it surfaced it would gasp for air. I yelled out that there was a duck inside and began to pull out the pieces of machinery to try and get to the duck. As I did, the tub slowly stopped swirling and I was able to pull out the near dead duck.

Once out, I gave the duck to someone and went to fetch it some food. I got something that looked like a nut porridge and the duck eagerly ate it up. I was relieved and told the person it was a good sign that she wanted to live. I kept feeding her until there was no more food. They I offered her a glass of water but she avoided it. I knew it was because she had almost drowned.

Eventually the duck was fully healed and on her feet. Then the dream shifted as did the duck. The duck changed into a beautiful black woman with long black hair that hung in ringlets at her waist. We were all on the back porch of this house and somehow the porch became a portal into another time, the time of slavery. The woman walked through the door and entered into that time and suddenly became a house servant.

The dream went on from there but I cannot remember it now.

Duck’s represent the subconscious when they are swimming. I see them on the pond indicating balance but then the one is drowning, indicating lack of balance or being overwhelmed by something in my subconscious mind. Perhaps it is swirling emotion caused by some kind of dysfunction that is being brought to the surface (broken machinery). The whirlpool indicates there is a threat of being overtaken by the emotional turmoil, but the water is clear which is good. I bring the duck back to life and she shifts into a woman.

File:Ishtar-star-symbol-simplified.svg - Wikimedia Commons

12/26/18 – Ishtar and Tears

The other night I woke from a dream where I was kneeling. I touched a metal object to my tongue and removed it. I could see it clearly – a circular shape with vertical lines on either side but the rest is a blur. I said, “Ishtar” as I looked at the symbol. It woke me. Afterward I recalled saying both “Ashtar” and “Ishtar” so I don’t know which one is correct.

Last night I woke from a dream where I was telling someone about another woman. I said, “She won’t ever see her mother again.” I burst into tears and woke up feeling devastated. That’s the second dream in recent months where I have awakened in tears after saying something about missing my/a mother.

Then had a whole dream where I broke it off with my boyfriend but he wouldn’t let me go. I met with him and told him I was leaving. He said, “No. You’re going to kill me.” He took two knives out and put them in my hands and forcibly held them there. Then he pointed them toward himself and pulled me into him so that they pierced into his stomach region. He fell to the floor dying but not dead. Frightened, I got help from a guy and we threw him out a screened in window. I spent the rest of the dream trying to cover my tracks so I wouldn’t get caught.

I’ve been doing lots of yoga these days off. Tonight my third eye area has energy that is wrapping across my cheeks and down around my ears. I continue to have energy in my head and neck region on and off. It feels very healing and lulls me into sleep most nights.

Lately, I’ve been feeling the urge to leave social media, specifically Facebook and Instagram. I may or may not follow through. It feels like this new year needs to be a clean slate in certain areas; that I need to muster the courage to do away with some heavier connections that are literally dragging me down.

 

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Kundalini Dream: Time Traveling

I’m on alert this morning. Something is up energy-wise. I had a very Kundalini-filled night’s sleep and have been awake since 4:30am. Similarly, I have heard various others had limited or no sleep last night. For example, my SIL called my husband really early this morning because she couldn’t sleep last night. Also, my son was up at 2am from a dream about the center of the Earth being made out of white bread called the “bread stone” that men ate in order to create the other planets (no kidding!). 😀

While at work I saw news that Alaska experienced a 7.0 earthquake. This especially interested me since I use to live in Alaska. I instantly knew it was somehow connected to last night’s sleeplessness.

I thought maybe I had somehow missed that it was a full moon, but nope, it’s at the last quarter, so that can’t be it. Whatever is going on, I am on full alert. The Kundalini is especially active in my heart center today. Hello heart bliss!

Kundalini Dream: Time Traveling

This dream began with me watching a version of myself going to the dentist (feeling anxious) and receiving her new retainers. I saw the retainers in a clear case and recall the dentist giving instruction on their use.

Then I was with a man who I had never met in person but had known online. We were at his house/apartment and he was instructing me on how to fit in with his time. It was obvious that I was some 20+ years in the future as so much was different! We talked for a long time about various things, mostly how things were different from my time. He had dark hair and seemed a bit older than me with pale skin and kind eyes. He showed me these special contacts (new awareness needed) that people wore in his time. They allowed people to see things that were not there otherwise. They were like computers that were worn in the eyes. There were five sets and I was focused on the one called “C+” though it looked more like a @ with a C in the middle instead of an A. He told me to buy all five of the different contacts because I would not be able to function in his time without them.

I attempted to use my credit card to buy them. Though my card showed as valid I had to scan a bar-code for the transaction to be approved. I didn’t have one. The man told me if I had been of his time I would have a bar-code on my left hand located between the thumb and the pointer finger. The bar-code made it impossible for anyone to steal another person’s identity or information for their use.

He seemed upset by this news and was concerned about how I would live in his time. I would not be able to see what he saw and would not be able to go out and about and do normal things others could do. I said to him, “Why don’t you come live in my time?” When I said this I had a flash of everything that would happen between my time and his. I knew that for him to come to my time would expose him to a major world war and difficult times he would otherwise not have to endure. It was a lot to ask of him.

He turned to me and asked me,”Why do you stay with me?” I did not hesitate to answer. I immediately hugged him close and said, “I feel good when I’m with you.” There was this lovely feeling that enveloped me when we hugged. My heart exploded in bliss and love. Being with him washed me in this amazing feeling of security but it was intermixed with vulnerability; full-exposure of me – nothing hidden.

Heart Bliss

I awoke, my heart washed in bliss, feeling an amazing love and connection for the man in my dream. Now fully awake, I sought him out and found him/his energy/HS close by. I saw a visual of him standing in front of me. He placed his hand on my heart and I placed mine on his. I was instantly hit with Divine bliss and an overwhelming vulnerability.

The more I allowed our connection the more I felt all the different reactions I had to it. There was fear of the vulnerability and exposure evident. There was also a reaction of fear toward the feeling of loss of control. The connection makes me feel 100% open and exposed and with it I completely surrender. This surrender of self and control of self is what is scary. I want to completely submit to him. This goes against the way I was raised and how I tend to respond to others, especially men. Yet when with the merging of my energy with this masculine energy, this is what I do. Why? Is that how it is suppose to be?

While talking with this energy I saw a vision of a group of people standing in a line facing me. They were all over 40 years old and it felt like they were waiting on me for something. I then had a mini-dream about getting married. Then I saw a vision of a city materialize in front of me. It was like a portal to the city in the future from the dream. I knew it was not on Earth, at least not this Earth.

OBEs

I struggled to fall asleep because of the heart bliss. It kept surging and I would become lost in it. There is nothing like it. It’s so beautiful it nearly always brings me to tears.

Somehow I ended up OOB and in my room. I exited more than four times. Each time I ended up back in my body when I tried to leave the room. One time I surrendered and seemed to fall backwards into a void. When I did this my vision turned on and a ray of light was shining down onto the space in front of the closet. As I floated over to the light, I asked why it was that I was not given any type of evidence that my work here is having an impact. I remember looking down at a piece of paper I held in my hand as I read my mission as if to remind myself why I was here on Earth. I asked for some kind of encouragement – some kind of proof I was doing what I came here to do – explaining that I needed it because it was hard to keep motivated otherwise.

Another time, I exited my body and was able to leave the room by surrendering to the energy – letting go of all control of the situation and experience. Then, I found myself outside of the room floating over the stairs. I floated down the dark stairs, singing to help stabilize my energy. When I headed to the front door I was pulled swiftly back into my body. It felt like I was being told not to roam. Even singing didn’t help, which it usually does.

When I came into my body I was fully relaxed, my body buzzing with soothing vibrations, my heart still firing up with waves of bliss. A song – Kansas City – was in my head:


And I love you dear, but just how long
Can I keep singing the same old song
I’m going back to Kansas City

by

Despacito – Slow, Steady Progress

Another night of limited sleep courtesy of my daughter’s stuffy nose and congestion. Well, I say my lack of sleep is connected to her cold, but I can’t be 100% sure that is all it is.

Last night the energy sensations returned almost immediately upon laying down. My crown and third-eye were the most active. I sensed a male energy to my left, my guide, or “partner” as I tend to call him now – the part that says “I am YOU” and continues to facilitate the merging of the masculine and feminine within.

Whenever my partner draws close I am covered in energy that spreads all the way to my fingers and toes. This has always happened, for as long as I have been conscious of him. Recent events, however, have revealed that this energy can be magnified internally and externally. Internally by my own intent. Externally by a catalyst.

Up until this point I have only had two external catalysts for this energy. Most of my experiences have been internal. Both provide lessons unique to the experience. Those that are external tend to amplify the stagnant areas or blockages in ways that my own inner work cannot. If I am not moving forward/progressing on my own then these catalysts get me moving again, spurring me forward by exposing that which is holding me back. Often times I am aware of what is revealed but purposefully or habitually ignoring it. I have learned through this external catalytic experiences that ignoring something will not make it go away but will in fact make it larger until I am forced to confront it.

In both cases the masculine energy becomes personified. Internally this energy feels separate from myself, like a guide who is always there, nudging me along and providing support and unconditional love. I have called him many names – Steven, Companion Traveler, Spiritual Counterpart, and now partner. He changes as as I change; grows as I grow.

Externally the masculine energy comes with a body, a unique personality, a history, an Ego, hopes, dreams, fears, etc….and, of course, karma. Ultimately, the two – external and internal – are the same energy, one is just personified in human form for the purpose of teaching – no reflecting to me – that which I most need to know about myself. Thus, the external masculine has a “catalytic” effect the internal masculine does not have.

At present I am happily connecting to my internal masculine and being shown more about myself and my innate spiritual abilities. Last night I was shown how I can go within and dance with him/me/us. In other words, I am being taught how to reproduce from within an experience that previously has only come about via a catalyst. This, for me was exhilarating despite my exhausted state.

I will try and describe my experience the best I can…

When my partner came near and I felt the energy that is Us spreading through my physical body I was at first sad because I knew it would not intensify as it had recently. I felt sad for this and a bit hopeless and unable to understand the why of it all. My partner asked me to stop looking outward to him (or anyone else) for the connection I was seeking, He then repeated to me, “I am YOU”, and I knew he meant I should turn my focus inward. I have always known this but for some reason this time my perspective was different. The minute I focused inward I seemed to shift into him, into my own masculine, and as such I saw/felt myself, the feminine. In an instant I became both masculine and feminine and the energy – my energy – seemed to flood into my head all at once, pushing against my third eye with such force that I could sense that some other version of myself would take over, forcing my eyes open to “see” in a way I cannot on my own. Like in my previous experience of this, it seemed as if someone else was about to “take over”, but I know this is not the case because last time I allowed it. However, my human mind cannot help but react to what feels like a “invasion” and if I were to over analyze the sensation I would likely freak out completely. Thankfully, I have experienced enough of the “strange and unusual” that these types of human reactions are easily quieted.

The sensation I felt in my third-eye was most similar to my experiences of going OOB. There was a sudden swirling expansiveness and pressure in my third-eye accompanied by what I can only describe as a sound – a rushing, whirling like wind in my ears. Of course, the experience and understanding of what I was doing and how I was doing it was all at once mind-blowing. A part of me thought it impossible. With this doubt everything calmed, and once again I was sensing my partner as separate from me.

Recognizing I was the cause, I was doing it all, it did not take me long to try again. And again. And again. Each time I would get to a point, a crescendo of sorts, where I knew all I needed to do was allow and surrender. When that point arrived I couldn’t do it. It was just too exciting, to mind-blowing (not scary). My mind would not let go. It all reminds me of attempting a conscious astral projection from the body. It took me over a month of consistent trying to finally achieve a conscious exit. I would keep failing because I was just too curious and excited. Even when I did succeed I was so excited that I would end up right back in my physical body.

At least I succeeded at recognizing I could come into Union with myself whenever I wanted and that I have the capacity to expand beyond what I ever thought possible without any external help.

I will continue to work at surrendering to what feels very much like an invasion of my mind. This is the drawback of being fully awake and aware. The human response to the unknown is fear. I can’t help it and I won’t beat myself up over it. The first experience of this sense of invasion did not harm me. It was not scary. I was not “taken over” or “possessed”. I was there, observing and experiencing at the same time. Actually, the experience was truly awesome. I felt BIG, expansive and full of potential. But then I have always been an explorer, keen to jump into the unknown, to expand beyond the limits of this human experience; to Know.

Syncs

Ending this post with more syncs. Yesterday we got tons of rain in central Texas courtesy of Tropical Storm Gordon. On the way home from work my daughter was on the phone from home freaking out because it was raining so hard. We were very close to home but it was sunny. I looked out the window and saw it was pouring over our house in the distance. I took a photo and sent it to my daughter as proof. It was amazing to see.

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Later, we got caught in the storm as well but the blue sky could always been seen in the distance. It was really beautiful. It felt like the heaven’s were literally opening up over the top of me. Like it was saying it’s okay to let it all go.

On the way home in the rain a song came on the radio. My husband turned it up and I almost protested because it was rap. I am not a fan of rap but this one caught my attention because it was about opportunity. Yeah, there’s that word again! lol

Look, if you had, one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted. In one moment
Would you capture it, or just let it slip?

You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime…

You can do anything you set your mind to

Here’s the song:

So this song is playing while the heavens are opening up over the top of us. It was actually pretty awesome and put me in a really, really good mood. I felt awesome.

This morning another song presented itself. I noticed it because once again (like rap) it was out of my normal music preference. This time Spanish. lol I asked my husband what despacito meant. He said, “Slowy”. When I saw what the lyrics said I couldn’t help but laugh because this is the message I have been getting from my partner for a very long while – One step at a time. Slow but steady progress. This song makes me just want to dance. Again, “dance” is not a coincidence either.

Regardless of my lack of sleep, these are very exciting times and I am blessed to be alive in a human body experiencing them. Thank you God.

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Managing the Shifts

If you haven’t noticed, there is a lot going on right now energetically and it is trickling down into the physical in numerous ways. My personal experience with this shifting energy initially threw me into a mini-tail-spin but I am back on course now with a little nudging from my guidance. You can read about it here – Reminder: Mission Comes First.

The summer solstice is just around the corner. Personally, I don’t find the solstice to be a big deal and often forget about it altogether. It is the same for the equinoxes for me. Just another day in the year. However, there are some major astrological events shaking things up right now that have been coming to my attention (syncs) quite appropriately. You can read my friend Linda’s recent post to get an idea of some of the astrological events. This is also a great astrological post to reference if you’re interested –  “At present, the Sun is at 27 Gemini, making its annual opposition to the Galactic Center (27 Sagittarius). This year, Ixion (The Tyrant) conjuncts the Galactic Center, making this energy more challenging to navigate.”

A major change I noticed in myself were that I tend to not handle life’s BS as well as usual. One irritation is manageable but add anymore to that and it tends to push me over the edge. With the kids on summer break I have very little time to myself and am having to adjust to all the motion – and commotion – of three little Beings around me all.the.time. Plus, my husband was gone a full week for business the start of summer break and then again the next week for a couple of days. He also fills up his free time with projects, so it finally got to be too much for me this past weekend and I blew up in frustration over having absolutely no time to myself and feeling taken advantage of (again). With my Sagittarius moon most of the blow-up comes out of my mouth in extreme bluntness that tends to cut like a knife. After these blunt blow-ups I feel tons better and have no regrets because it needed to be said and heard.

Thankfully the intensity backed off a bit and by the end of the day yesterday I had a nice long talk with my husband that kept me up until near midnight (a rarity). It is not often that I go to bed after a talk with my husband thinking, “That was a nice”.

Despite all the energetic chaos of the past week/week-end today is calm and I even got a bit teary this morning after a chat with a fellow yogi on FB. The emotion was unexpected and connected to my current purpose/goal to get my body/mind/spirit in balance, the body being the most bent out of shape (literally). In the conversation it became clear to me that the entire left side of my body is lower (yep) than my right. Not only is it lower but it is tighter and more dysfunctional overall. Considering the left side of the body coincides with the feminine and the right to the masculine, it says a lot about me. Have I have been suppressing – holding back, beating down, tensing up in defense – the feminine and letting the masculine dominate? Probably.

Interestingly (another sync), the FB conversation came after I was once again second-guessing my intention to register for the Clubbell Yoga seminar in September. Last night during meditation and again upon waking I thought, “I keep avoiding registering for the seminar. I need to just do it.” Both times I opted to put it off until later. lol I keep back-pedaling because 1. the location puts me close to past events and people, 2. I don’t know if I can confront the energy of that particular location, 3. I am still feeling unprepared for the seminar and questioning my ability, 4. It’s scares the crap out of me all around. I keep telling myself, ” I can always do the seminar next year.” True but then should I?

I continue to be amazed at how yoga is expanding my awareness – awareness of my body but also of the connection between mind/body/spirit. Not only that but my body is responding, albeit slowly, as I re-train the muscle and joints out of dysfunctional patterns of movement into functional ones. There are moments, though, when I get frustrated because certain areas just don’t know how to relax and release never comes. I can’t even remember what it feels like to be relaxed in those areas either – that’s how long they have been tense!

But back on topic – the energy, its effects and how to manage them. There is a tendency for the Ego to rear it’s ugly head right now. For those who have gone through one or more Ego deaths this is a time to observe and manage the Ego. Keep it in check and if it gets out, pull it back in. Ask your guidance to help. All kinds of triggers will be available so just breathe through them to the best of your ability. Remember YOU (HS) are in charge.

Take time to yourself. As much as you need. Rest. Exhaustion is inevitable. I know I have been feeling it. I go from night’s of intense dreamwork to nights of exhaustion, sleeping so deeply that in the morning my dreams quickly fade from my memory.

Tune into your guidance as often as you can. They are there even though it may seem they have “abandoned” you (the Ego likes to play the victim). Ground. Be outside in nature or connect to the Earth in some way.

Breathe. When an event or a person triggers you, breathe before you react. A few breaths gives you a chance to calm yourself and let the thoughts go before they explode out of your mouth (my problem lol). If you still feel triggered then take a walk. Give yourself some space from the situation if you can. I know circumstances don’t always allow this so if you make a mistake be kind to yourself. Don’t judge yourself for being human. It happens. Ha!

Whenever possible tune into your body and your energy. How does it feel? Take note of it. Write it down even. Do this often. You will see changes and patterns. For example, when I am upset my shoulders tense, I hold my breath, I want to escape (thus the energy of my body does, too). Just learning to be aware of your body and your energy will lead to healing. Give it time. Give yourself time.

Finally, pay attention to the syncs/messages in life. Like the ones I mentioned above. Feelings and thoughts lead to interactions with others or coincidental happenings, little reminders to keep us on our path. The mind is full of booby traps. The heart isn’t.

You CAN do this!

Namaste,

Dayna

 

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Intensity Overload, Metallic Energy and $200 for the Blonde Who Breaks Rules

CrAzY energy right now! Whew! I’m actually flying high now compared to before. Feeling almost 100% now and grateful for it.

I didn’t wake up feeling too grand, though. Had some doubt creeping in because of something that happened last night.

Tuesday I was invited to a FB group called “Be Your Own Twin Flame” by a member of the walk-in group I’m a part of. I didn’t know her but agreed because the title seemed like a group I might be interested in. I browsed it and noticed there wasn’t too much interaction. Pretty much all the posts were by the woman who invited me to the group. She later sent me an email encouraging me to post a little about myself. So I thought, “Why not?” I posted a link to my blog and introduced myself and let it be.

Then last night she sent me a message. I am not going to cut and paste it because I do not want to subject you to the energy behind it. To summarize, she told me that she deleted my post from her group because she felt I was still in 3D, full of Ego, and in separation from All. She said she wants her group to have only 5D communication and any communication that is not of 5D and part of the One would be removed. Then she invited me to post again but only from my heart and Oneness.

When I received the email the energy felt really weird, so much so that it felt to blast me with a strange metallic surge that left me with a metallic taste in my mouth. My first inclination was to stop reading it immediately but I kept on and stupidly subjected myself to the energy.

I felt myself react defensively at first. Mostly, I wanted to completely withdraw from the online world and go into hiding again, which is odd. Thankfully there was a softness from within that soothed me and asked me to “stand down”. It did not take me long to realize I had been triggered, but why?

Later, after contemplating the feelings I was having, it occurred to me that the reasoning of the message was all wrong. 5D is not about rejecting 3D altogether. It is not about separation from other humans or humanity. This woman was using 5D as a justification to set herself apart from others. To perpetuate the “Us” versus “Them” syndrome humans so frequently fall victim to. She insinuated that Ego was not allowed. It was to be eliminated altogether and any indication of its existence in a post meant the person was still in 3D and not yet elevated to the 5D level.

But then there was the metallic feeling and taste in the energy that hit me when I first read her message. What was that all about? I remember thinking right after the experience, “If this is what 5D is all about, I want no part of it.” lol

I felt so disturbed I actually blocked her. I have never blocked anyone in my life but I felt so dirtied, so contaminated by her energy that I wanted to ensure she never messaged me again.

I am also concerned for all the others who are following this woman.

When I went to sleep I asked for clarity on the situation. Was I just reacting to her email because she made me feel wrong? Was it all an Ego reaction? Or is there something I am missing?

When I awoke I felt no clearer than when I went to bed. My dreams didn’t seem to point to an answer and again I was doubtful and questioning everything. Maybe I should withdraw from the online social media world? I felt rejected. I hate that feeling and my tendency is to withdraw from the source of the rejection.

My guidance asked me, “Remember to focus on that which makes you feel good, not on what doesn’t.” I remembered and immediately shifted to doing just that. I enjoy connecting with others. I love the spiritual. Writing in my blog is one of the highlights of my day. I enjoy all of it, so why stop just because of one rotten apple?

My day just got better after that.

Random Luck or Message?

Around lunchtime I decided to go for a short run-walk. I am still recovering from my illnesses so a full run is not a good idea. Even a run-walk is challenging lately.

Around a half mile into my run I began to notice my thought patterns. What I was thinking about use to cause me upset in the past but now I have gotten so use to it that I hardly even notice despite these thoughts occurring daily, multiple times a day. Yet I noticed this time. With this noticing I realized I was in full acceptance, no longer rejecting or resisting this new reality. Smiling I looked up and saw something laying on the road:

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They were laying in the road just like in this picture. When I saw them I stopped and thought, “That can’t be what I think it is.” When I got closer and I realized it was two $100 bills I picked them up and stashed them in my leggings and continued on my way. I did check to see if anyone was around but there was no one. Not even a parked car around.

I was in shock for about another half mile. A strange surreal feeling fell over me. Was I dreaming? Did it even happen? Reality check time!

Eventually I convinced myself it hadn’t happened and the money had to be fake. Never would I be so lucky. The most money I’ve ever found was $10 that flew into my car on a windy day.

So I stopped and checked my leggings. Yep. Two $100 bills. Security strip and everything. No doubt about it. lol I kept the money in my hand from that moment on, though, because my leggings didn’t have pockets and I didn’t want it falling out through my pant leg. lol I also think I did this so that it stayed real to me. The whole thing really shifted my reality. BIG TIME.

Then I felt guilty. Maybe someone is looking for their lost money? I should turn back and check. So I ran around the block and went back to where I thought I had found the money. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember exactly where I was when I found it and since there were no new cars parked or people around looking I kept running. What was I going to do? Knock on all the houses asking if they lost money? I found it in the road, so not by a particular house and there weren’t any cars around either.

Not long after opting to just keep the money I noticed something on the ground. I swear it said, “Blondes break rules.” I thought to myself, “That did NOT say what I think it said.” I laughed aloud to myself and turned around to check. This is what it was:

IMG_1528

I picked it up and took it with me just because and laughed for another half mile.

I kept run-walking for another mile and then ended off. My heart rate was higher than normal and I was feeling anxious for no reason. Not anxious because I did something wrong, though. Anxious because I felt different somehow.

I knew I needed to eat and settle down. I also could not help but think that the money and the Starbucks trash was more than just a message that I was breaking some unwritten rule by keeping the money. In fact, I knew that wasn’t the message. What was the message then?

As I cooled down I mulled over the events of my run specifically focusing on my thoughts prior to finding the money. I recalled that I had felt an urge to look up and pay attention, but what was I thinking about immediately before that? When I realized I was thinking about everything that transpired from December, 2015 to present – this entire crazy personal spiritual transformation I have been going through – I understood the real message.

The $100 bills were both on the road but separated by about a foot. I kept thinking, “OMG I found $200”, but really I found 2, $100 bills. In numerology you add the digits of a number to get it down to one number. So you can get the number 2 two ways, one of them is by adding 1+1. I could see the $100 bills then as representing the two 1’s of an 11. 11’s have been following me around since 2015 and continue to do so. However, what I feel the message was this time was that the two 1’s here are indicating two separate, whole individuals.

The “Blonde breaks rules” message on the trash was about me but not about keeping the money. The “rules” here represent beliefs and belief systems. I have been and am breaking through them and the end result will be – maybe already is? – Wholeness.

When I realized the message I began to feel stranger than I already was. My anxiety was increasing and I had to get a grip on it before I ended up in a panic attack. Then my right ear began to ring. I’ve been experiencing ear ringing a lot, though.

It took a while for the strange anxiety to subside. Then I went and laid in the warm sun on a blanket spread out on the grass for a while.

Considerations

There is more to this message, much, much more but I haven’t received it all yet. The energies during and after my run hit me hard, too. It was as if I was stuck by lightening again except this time it wasn’t via the Kundalini like I am so use to.

I know I have recently gone through a major download, so major that it knocked me on my butt for two weeks straight. Illness was the main symptom – my throat and root chakras the main focus, but I have also been experiencing some crazy ear ringing and on and off exhaustion. Then there are the dreams, messages, super empathy, and clarity. All of it points to a download/upgrade, or whatever you want to call it.

There was an incident a couple of days ago where I noticed a deep humming coming from my right. It seemed off in the distance and as I focused on it, it grew louder and louder until it turned into a distinct, high pitched ringing in my right ear. I kept expecting Spirit to audibly speak to me which is unusual because I have never associated ear ringing with Spirit audibly speaking to me. But this was different. I fully expected to hear a message. Huh?

All of this and then the woman at Pet’s Mart stalking me for not watching my son (weird) and then the metallic taste from reading a message on FB, I can’t help but wonder what is going on. Is it me? Is it the world? Both?

My intuition tells me to stay on my toes – to keep looking, keep noticing, because there is more being conveyed to me via this experience than I realize.

P.S. The featured image for this post is a quote that popped up this morning when I was uploading an image from Canva. I noticed it and wrote it down because it felt important.

 

 

 

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Changes, Projects and Ideas

The energy since May 31st has been distinct. My third-eye has been active for pretty much this entire time. Sometimes it is like I am wearing a headlamp. It feels like a beam of energy is shooting directly through the back of my head and out my forehead. Pretty cool but then distracting all the same.

My sleep has also been interrupted. Usually every two to three hours. Each time I wake I feel like I have slept all night and am always surprised when I discover so little time has really passed. Dreams are vivid as well with an in-flow of guide communication and Knowing.

Yesterday and today I’ve had a feeling that I need to do something but nothing quite feels right so I end up doing very little. A download is in progress yet this one is distinctly different from downloads of the past. It feels as if I am awaiting instruction or a go-ahead on a future direction/path.

Meanwhile I’ve begun changing my diet and exercise routine. It is not a major change for me. More of a tweaking here and there. In one of my dreams I was shown how food affects the energetic body. I saw the food as color streaming into the energy body and noticed how the aura reacted to it. The greener and more alive the food, the more alive it made the energy body. The more “dead” the food, the more it deadened the energy body. I recall seeing meats affects on the energy body most vividly. It went in as a dull, almost brownish red and tended to draw energy away from the energy body, “dulling” it.

What I brought back from dreamtime was that I needed to shift my diet to a more vegetable based one. Yes, again I got that message. I think my guidance thought if they gave me a visual of the energy it would cause me to make drastic changes to my diet. So far, I haven’t. My main issue is finding reliable sources of protein that also taste good. In my dreams last night it seems I was being told to look into pea protein because I had a bowl of green peas I was eating. lol Yet I can’t imagine eating pea protein in place of a filet of fish or a turkey burger. For now I have returned to eating clean, limiting my carbs to complex ones only (oatmeal, sweet potato, brown rice, sprouted grains) and increasing my intake of vegetables. Meat will remain in my diet but sparingly to include only lean, organic meats (excluding pork). Salmon will not be on this menu and really I will avoid most fish and shellfish because of the toxins they contain.

I am told these changes, while helpful, “will not do.” Ha! Well, then.

Physically, I am changing the amount and type of exercise I do. I became quite lethargic during all the emotional purging and really slacked off. Plus, anxiety and panic attacks were driving me away from the gym. Still not sure if I am going to go back to the gym. I tried one day and though I survived without incident I did not enjoy it. Something about the gym energy is really wreaking havoc on me. Probably I am just too open and susceptible to others’ energy while in the midst of exercise.

Spiritually I am being drawn toward astrology for some reason. I have always been interested in astrology but ever since the beginning of May I have been reading every astrology blog and article I can find. I want to know how they know what they know. lol So I am going to get some lessons from a friend so that I can know what they know and not feel like such an astrological numskull.

I am also being led to do more YouTube videos. I recently discovered Movie Maker. I had it all along on my computer but had never activated it (duh). Currently I am working on creating videos for each of my meditations. I have received comments from individuals saying they could not upload the audio files I have available for free on my blog. So, now they should have no problem with incompatible formats or whatever message they were receiving. It will take me a while to complete all of the meditations but they will be posted as I complete them. You can access them via the meditation link in the upper, left-hand corner of my blog’s home page.

I aspire to eventually create lessons or teaching videos. This would mean learning to add slides to my videos and/or actually streaming live classes which I later upload to YouTube for those who missed the live stream. I have the ability to do this and some know-how but I am somewhat blank on the topics to teach or discuss in the videos. A friend has invited me to be a facilitator and do live streams twice a month. I have agreed to sign on when the website is complete. The site is called C.S. ONE-CyberCOM and I will be participating in the The Conscious Community InterNetWork.’ I will provide more information on the dates and times of the live streams when they are available.

So, I need some practice prior to beginning these live streams. Suggestions are welcome.

I do have one idea that was brought to my attention recently by one of my blog community. I have been asked to make a custom pendulum. I’m super excited about it not only because I enjoy making them but because it gives me an excuse to visit the crystal and gem shop nearby. My daughter wants to make one with me. She is my collaborator. lol Anyway, my idea is to film the making of the pendulum as a how-to video for those who would like to make their own. Yeah, big project with a large amount of editing. Not sure how I will do it the way I want to but the idea makes me happy so I will explore it and see what comes of it.

I may also do another video showing how to use a pendulum for chakra clearing and balancing.

Really, there is no limit to what we can create and accomplish and I plan to explore those things that bring me joy. Teaching is one of those things, especially teaching subjects I love (the metaphysical, occult, spiritual, psychological – and everything therein). When I stand in front of a crowd as a facilitator I feel empowered. I get goosebumps and psychic chills. I literally SHINE. It is where I belong.

Rose Quartz Pendulum

Rose Quartz Pendulum with Rose Quartz, Clear Quartz and Cork beads

Carnelian Pendulum

Carnelian Pendulum with Carnelian, Clear Quartz and Citrine beads