Category Archives: Healing

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Message: Be the Hummingbird

I took the advice given by many of you and focused on taking care of myself and this crazy energy last night. First, I ate a big meal. I immediately felt better. Then I took a hot bath with essential oils – 8 drops of lavender and 2 of Roman Chamomile. I also played music, specifically by Rising Appalachia (thank you KLeigh!). I was in one of my high’s before long and didn’t even mind when all three of my children crawled into the bathtub with me and began splashing.

Afterward I began to lose the high and fall into the exhaustion, but I let it happen and did not resist. My Team has been very close and the message I keep getting is to let go and allow. I went ahead and had some wine and watched some T.V. The whole time I had strange energy sensations all over my body and kept receiving high heart hugs from my Companion. Wonderful and calming. I also, for the first time since these energies began wracking my body, I had a rising of desire from the lower chakras. I pushed it down but it made me smile. I think my blockages are clearing.

I slept very, very well.

Dreams

I almost felt normal before , of course, I began to think that everything that happened to me these last 10 days or so was not real, not true, and I could be normal and move on with my life as planned. This thought was immediately interrupted with a knowing that I knew better than that. Then everything flooded back in and my body was covered in another energy hug. I was told, “You will rest tomorrow and we will talk tonight”. I recognized the energies of my Council of 12 and knew we would talk about contracts. Something felt final about it and I asked, “We are finalizing the contract?” I received confirmation but I joked and said, “Nothing is ever ‘final'” and reminded him of my ambivalence. Instead of humor I received a more serious energy from him. That shut me up and I went to sleep.

Teaching Developmentally Delayed Adults

The first vivid dream I recall is actively teaching adults who were most obviously developmentally delayed. We were doing language and vocabulary activities and I soon realized they were all at very different levels. Some were already able to spell while others couldn’t. I remember directing them to use block letters to spell out an answer to a question. It was like they were toddlers in preschool but some of these individuals were older than me!

I woke momentarily and knew this dream was representative of the various levels of consciousness of those on Earth. It was a bit disturbing to think that so many of us are at the spiritual toddler stage!

Be the Hummingbird

I had an entire dream where I was learning to be the hummingbird. This is symbolic of my mission here. I am being asked to fulfill my mission.

Bus Turned Trailer

Another vivid dream was of my husband and family. I was walking down a dirt road in the country. Tall, green trees and lush grass were all around and the dirt was that orange-red color I remember from my childhood days in east Texas. I looked up and saw my husband towing a white trailer behind him. He was not in a car and the trailer was one that should have been hitched to at ruck. I said to him, “Where’s your bus? Is it broken?” He just turned, smiled and waved at me and continued on. I knew he had our children in the trailer, but I kept going in the opposite direction

This dream woke me up with a start. I knew the symbolism right away. The loss of the bus is significant. Being on a bus or some other form of public transportation is representative of one’s family or group dynamic. In this dream the bus was broken and replaced by a trailer. In recognizing this I saw that a message I have been receiving was coming out in my dreams. My husband and family are moving in the opposite direction from me.

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Messages 

The amount of information coming to me now is extremely high. I have been processing it for some time now. This partly because I am struggling to accept it and partly because I don’t know how to impart it.

Message 1: My mission is to embody the light; to be a beacon of light as well as to ground and anchor the new energies. I am also to activate others and act as a guide. I work with energies in many ways, more than I am aware of in this Earth consciousness.

Message 2: I am being asked to embody the light now. To do this I must drop relationships and connections that do not harmonize with my own frequency. If I am unhappy, depressed, angry, etc then I am not embodying the Light and so not fulfilling my role here. I have to “step up” now. Others are also receiving this message.

Message 3:  When I hit the age of 40 next year things are really going to shift to a higher level of intensity. I have already been warned of this as it will start next summer right before my birthday to prepare me. I am told 40 is a significant age for more than just me. It has to do with spiritual maturity and ability to hold more Light.

Message 4: I was greeted this morning by Eric who is a member of our ground crew. He is living presently in a physical body like me. He showed me a web, like a spider web. In the center the fibers of the web are very close and they get farther apart as it expands. He explained that the web is being extended now. With this explanation I was told that some members of this web are interconnected with me at a very, very deep level. These are the ones in the center. Others a less so and as the web extends outward even less so. Those most connected to me, those with me in the center, are extremely spiritually intense connections.  The others are less intense and more casual relationships. Our strength comes via these connections. The web grows stronger with each connection.

We are building the web now. The center is first and the most important. We will gather on a spiritual level first but eventually in the physical as well. I see large areas of light across the U.S. These epicenters of Light are crucial.

Message 5: I again saw my Companion as non-human in form. Those who read my previous description say he is Arcturian, but I identify him by his energy, not his appearance.

This time I was accepting of his appearance. He is beautiful beyond description! In accepting him, I accepted myself. I looked down at my hand and saw a non-human hand. Three long, thin, blue fingers and one thumb with over sized fingertips. I laughed because I was immediately reminded of a frog. Also with this acceptance I began again to think in terms of We. I have done this before but it had stopped.

We have many names. We take many forms. We are the Many. 

Elohim.

Day of Rest

When I awoke this morning my husband and three children were gone. They are on a camping trip and won’t be back until tomorrow evening most likely.

Day of rest indeed! 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Dreams: Missed Test and Egg Within an Egg

Yesterday turned out to be a very strange day. After the panic-inducing heart chakra intensity, I was hit with nausea and total exhaustion. I also had a strange sensation around my head that felt similar to my crown being very wide open except that there were vibrations with it. For a brief moment I thought I would spontaneously leave my body. So I waited it out – the nausea, dizziness, vibrations, and strange “off” feeling eventually settling. When it did settle, my heart chakra fire was completely gone and I felt a sudden sadness descend upon me.

My heart felt like an empty pit. No matter how much I focused on it, it remained unresponsive. However, it did not feel normal. It felt hollow, like someone had come and suffocated my heart center or tried to cover the energy with a blanket. I guess it could also be related to someone throwing water on a blazing fire.

The sadness soon turned into despair over my current situation. For some reason everything that was wrong with my life, specifically my family situation, was uncomfortably obvious. My Companion would not leave me alone about it, either, and I was not liking the questions he was asking me. I have often described my Companion as being my own personal shrink, one that there is no escaping. Sometime his persistent questions and nudging can be excruciatingly annoying. Like a personal hell. This was the case last night.

Dream: Missed Test

I had a dream that woke me at 3am. In the dream I was in a car with someone discussing school. I could see that we were traveling down a street with golden colored buildings that resembled a college campus except the buildings were smaller, more like houses. We stopped at a mailbox while the man informed me of my current progress towards my degree. He mentioned that I had been lax in my studies and had been skipping classes. There were only two more classes until I finished.

A large, gray mailbox was opened. Inside were 8 smaller mailboxes. These were the mailboxes of the students in my class. Inside each mailbox were 8 cards. On the envelopes were congratulatory messages and I knew that the comments inside the cards related to a successful score on a recent test.

I had forgotten about the test and this was the main reason I was with the man discussing my progress. The test was on the 24th and my score was not among the mailboxes because I had missed the test. I felt that I had failed it but the feeling I got was that I could still make it up.

When I awoke I was protesting. To make a long story short, I am being asked to let go of situations and relationships in my life that are not complimentary to my mission. My human mind perceives this as a threat and is reacting accordingly. I am completely refusing to do anything I am being asked to do because to do so means a complete disruption of my life. In essence, it means a complete new start. How can they ask me to do something like that? It is horrifying! This is the test I missed. I know now why I missed it. I will no doubt fail it miserably.

Dream: Egg Within an Egg

I somehow fell back to sleep. This time I was with two men and they were talking about time travel. Dr. Who was mentioned but not present. When Dr. Who is in my dream it usually indicates I am receiving healing.

The two men were discussing how to use a clothes dryer as a portal to another time. I saw the open dryer, the light very bright, but did not want to go inside. I never did go inside.

It was then that someone took me to the side and showed me a very, very large egg. It was the size of a person. It was cracked open and inside was the yolk of a normal sized egg. It was an egg within an egg. I was asked to look at it. The golden yolk was the last thing I remember before waking.

When I woke I had a very long talk with my Companion. And I continued to reject what I am suppose to do. I got very sad again and he again pointed it out to me by saying, “You are sad. You are lonely. You don’t have to be this way”. While we were talking about the upset this change would cause to my life he showed me an onion and I watched as layers and layers were being removed by some unseen person. He said to me, “Sometimes even the onion cries”.

Heart Hurt

This morning the heart energy is back but this time it seems to hurt. There is an extreme loss feeling with it but it is again wide open. My lower back hurts and I am restless again. I don’t want to be in my own home. I have an urge to go on a long vacation – alone. We have a family trip in January and I want to cancel it or find a way out, even though I am the one who planned it.  I don’t understand why I feel like this. I love my family.

 

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I watched a movie last night that I have seen many times – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you haven’t seen it, then you should. It is one of my favorites. The movie relates how our heart remembers even when our mind forgets – love really is the most powerful force in existence.

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! /The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.

From Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope

An explanation of the quote is here.

I had not intended to watch the movie but my husband started it and then promptly fell asleep. So I decided to watch it again because I remembered the movie so vividly from the last time I had watched it.

Without going into specifics about what I am going through currently, this movie really hit home this time around and I was sobbing by the time it ended. Of course, I had two glasses of wine in my system by that time. lol

The movie reminded me that we cannot hide from the heart, no matter how hard we try. It also reminds me of the amnesia that comes with incarnating on this planet. Despite it, we really are not as blind as we may think. Our hearts will always guide us to where we need to be if we just listen.

Are you listening?

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Tough Day

I don’t have time to go into much detail and I’m not sure I could anyway, but today has been probably the toughest day for me ever. I mean it.

I don’t call friends for help. I did twice today. Twice. It helped some, but didn’t really give me any answers. I don’t know what the <expletive> is going on but it is NOT funny.

When the intensity was at its peak I was begging and pleading with my Companion to take it away. He told me to focus on my heart. Yeah, well that made it more intense since it was coming from my heart to begin with.

I did focus there, though, since I couldn’t really do anything else. And the answer I got was, “You need this to Remember”. Okay. Thanks.

My day didn’t start out like this. My heart center has been non-stop with energy for about three days now, but nothing unbearable. I could easily forget about it by keeping busy, which I did all morning. But around 2:30pm, when I was preparing something in the kitchen, it hit full force. It nearly knocked me out of my chair.

I won’t call it a bolt of lightening but it is similar in intensity. I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t really do anything about it. I finished what I was doing and went outside to sit in the sun. The whole time I am asking my Companion to make it stop, to take it away, to fix it, or whatever. Can’t really remember now. It lasted over an hour. That’s when I caved and called out to my friends. Thankfully both were there.

I understand that we are being reUnited with members of our soul group now. I understand that I will be asked to do things that are outside my comfort zone. I get it. But this feels like I am being “summoned”.

I would much rather have my Companion yell “Get out now” like he did the first time.

Please pray for me. Honestly, I don’t know what else to say except that I need help getting through whatever it is that is happening to me. I don’t think healing would help, so hold back on that. I fear it would make the intensity worse.

 

 

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Spiritual Loneliness

The energy surges are taking a toll on me. It started out as a high and then yesterday sent me into a restless numbness. I began to see my life as not my own again, but this time it was not in forgetfulness or lacking of emotion. No, this time it was a complete rejection of my life. It screamed, “This isn’t me! This isn’t my family!”

What is ironic about it is that yesterday my husband was gone all day and I had all three of my children at home with me. Since they are so young, I avoid driving places when I am alone with all three. So, we were home all day to figure out what to do with ourselves. I felt completely unmotivated and disinterested in doing anything. I was, in effect, a sloth-person. lol

The numbness bothered me so much that when my husband got home I searched the house up and down for something alcoholic. Anything. Unfortunately, all we had was scotch whiskey (yuck!). Thankfully, I was able to mix up a cocktail and have a drink despite my hating the taste of whiskey. I made one for my husband, too, but we drank them separately.

By this point I was so agitated (not sure why) that I became defiant. I got angry at this spiritual path I am on. I blamed it for how I was currently feeling and wanted the “transformation” to be done and over with. Of course, I had to show that I was in control, so out came the cigarettes my husband bought me months ago after I quit. I had one but nearly choked on the taste and nastiness of it. But I continued defiantly to smoke it until I could not longer bear the taste.

Thankfully by this time the drink had done its job and I was feeling calmer. I no longer cared one way or the other, transformation or not, and went to bed early.

Dream: Under the Bridge 

I had many dreams last night, but only one stands out to me now because of the message it brings.

I was in my Mom’s house in her bedroom laying next to my husband in her bed (I know weird). He was being flirtatious. I suggested we get a fishing pole and went and got one out of the garage. I put the hook where it wouldn’t hurt us and went back into the bedroom.

My middle son was there tagging along and my other two came out of nowhere and soon I had all of them surrounding me. I gave the fishing pole to my husband and retreated, feeling suffocated by their demanding energy. I retreated into what once was my old bedroom growing up and lay down on the waterbed (yeah I had one of those in my teens).

There was a small t.v. set by the bed on a table. It was on so I hit the power button to turn it off. It was one of those older versions, silver and heavy with large knobs on the left hand side. Then the t.v. turned on on its own and showed a green reboot screen. I was upset. Why did it turn back on?? I just wanted to sleep and here it was turning on! Not only that but it was playing music!

I tried to turn it back off but it wouldn’t respond. The t.v. turned computer was rebooting. That was when I noticed the song:

Well, I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I recognized the song. It was a song I use to love in high school. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Under the Bridge.

This woke me up. I looked at the clock: 5:30am. Talk about getting upset. I am so tired of waking up early for “talks”, especially after the previous day.

Spiritual Loneliness

After some prompting, I settled into my heart space and calmed a bit. It was then easy for me to see that I had slipped out of this space the previous day and the Ego had gained ground. But it was so easy to resolve that.

The first message I got was, “We must remove the negativity”. My answer was,”Good luck. I have been negative my whole life”. I saw then what looked like steam rising off my aura, but knew it was the a release from my heart chakra. So this is what is happening? Great.

A question was asked of me, “How can one be so lonely when surrounded by a family that loves them?”

I did not want to go there. To the place of loneliness. Yet I knew instantly this was my problem. I am lonely. I have been lonely my whole life. Lonely for my family. I miss them.

There was no emotional release just a request to go Home. Of course, I got, “You know you can’t. You have work to do”.

I then saw a long, hand written letter in front of my eyes. It hurt my heart to see it and I had a great longing rise up from within. I read the first line: I am sorry, brother, that we can’t be together right now….” But my conscious mind interfered and I could not read the rest. The loneliness turned to grief turned to disappointment.

I believe a reUnion occurred at some level. It is clear to me now that this reUnion has been difficult for me to process on this side.  From the heart this memory is less upsetting, though there is still a reaction. The longing is so strong in the heart that I avoided it and so it was not allowed to process. I have to process it somehow. When I try, all it does is remind me of what I don’t have and what I am suppose to do.

There is memory that we (my family) chose Earth families and relationships with souls we are not as connected with – like second or third cousins. We did this on purpose. We knew it would be a lonely path. We knew it would be difficult for us. Why am I so courageous there and so cowardly here?

Remembering is not always pleasant that is for sure.

 

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Dream: Stabbed

Again I couldn’t fall asleep last night until around midnight. Very frustrating! Thankfully, I slept very well even if for only six or seven hours.

Dream: Stabbed

I found myself riding a bicycle down the road. I don’t ever ride a bike, so this is unusual for me. Out of the blue a force comes toward me and hits me in the mid-section.

I wake in a hospital bed. I am groggy and told I just underwent surgery for a stab wound. Without looking I knew where I had been stabbed – in the solar plexus. I saw in my mind’s eye a small, two inch wound which had been stitched up. It was located right where my rib cage ends; where the two sides split off from each other.

I lay in bed looking around. I was inside a huge room that was filled with hospital beds from one end to the other. Each bed was white and had an occupant. I saw that we were on the 9th floor, the sign indicating that we were in room 900 something.

I began searcing for my clothing. I wanted to leave before it got too dark. There were woman watching me and asking me questions about how I got there. I told them I was okay – that I didn’t even feel the wound. Specifically I said, “My c-section was way worse than this. I don’t even feel it!” I tested this out and sure enough I could not feel even an ounce of tenderness.

A nurse came by and asked me if I would look at a list of prices to pay for my stay. I told her, “I’ll take the lowest. I don’t have any insurance”. A woman across from me asked about it. I told her, “Since Obamacare, we can’t afford insurance. It costs us $13,500 a year and I only make $23k”. The woman said, “Do you at least get vacation?” I said, “Yeah, I’m a teacher. We get all summer off. It’s the best job ever”. She said, “I get unlimited vacation”.

I remember the bill was $1100. Then I said, “I need to leave. How do I get out of here?” No one had an answer.

I saw it was already 7pm and gave up because I knew it would take me 3 hours to get home from Dallas (why I thought I was in Dallas I don’t know). I decided to stay for the night and fell asleep.

When I woke I asked where breakfast was and was told they were waiting for the last person to wake before serving it. I said, “What if they wait until 10am!? Then we will all be starving! Worse yet, what if they wait until 1pm?”

My husband came to get me at that time and said, “Your bill was paid by American Express”. I said, “I don’t have American Express”. lol

Messages

I woke suddenly from the dream feeling very calm and relaxed; happy. My Companion was there and said, “We’ve been working on you. Recalibrating”. I knew the solar plexus was the focus because it held my fears.

I saw then a 3D image in front of me. It was of a geometric plane spread out in front of me. On it were images set in specific locations upon the plane. I don’t remember them now but they were familiar images like a house, people, and other landmarks or markers. I was told this was my next assignment; our Plan.

It was then brought to my attention by my Companion that my resistance was waning and we would soon be able to initiate the Plan. The visual I received was of him stepping forward to resume control of the human host body while I stepped back. I heard then the song, “Come Home” by OneRepublic. The specific part was, “Everything I can’t be, is everything you should be”. I understood this meant that I was to be shown Our potential by my Companion. He has said as much, that he will “teach” me when he is in the pilot seat. The song just gave me more information. This exchange is to show me what I am capable of.

I tried to get more information, to understand what this experience will be like. I did not get much clarification, only that it will be “different”. I was shown a blender and understood this meant our energies would blend during this time. But wasn’t that already the case? Apparently this is not the same as the braid.

I was and still am ready. I do not feel fear but am told the experience, if not gradually implemented, will initiate a sudden fear response. So, it appears it will be gradual to test my response. I am intrigued and I am ready!

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Heart Chakra Intensity and Swoosh!

I’ve had some energetic activity today which has been interesting. It began this afternoon on the way home from the gym at around 11:20am. I was singing a song and it vibrated intensely inside my chest, specifically right about my heart chakra. I was fascinated with this feeling. Had I felt it before when singing? If so, why was it so obvious now? I sang different pitches to test the sensitivity. The deeper notes felt the best. The vibrations felt lovely, too. Is this why I have always loved singing so much?

Around 1pm while at the park with my children I became very calm and peaceful. I kept noticing nature and feeling I should enjoy it. So I did. What was interesting is that my attention kept being drawn to individual leaves as they fell down towards the earth. I noted how different each of them was in the way they fell – their shape and movement. Some fell quickly in a mad dash for the ground. Others flitted and seemed to change their mind, flying upward toward the sky before finally settling to the ground. Again, I was fascinated by their dance. I could almost hear the Nutcracker playing in the background. hehe

Around this time I began to feel third-eye and heart chakra activity. We went for a walk like we always do after a visit to the playground. While walking my chest began to feel odd. There was a pulling energy in the same area where I had felt the vibrations previously, but this almost hurt. It did not last long, thankfully.

While going about the rest of my day I have felt as if I was being “watched” by a very large energy and had intermittent crown chakra sensations. I could not enjoy them because my children kept interrupting, so I don’t know much more than the feeling that accompanied them. It was a familiar feeling, one that in the past would have made me nervous. But this time there was no nervousness, just acceptance.

I decided to do yoga for the hips, back and legs. This is night three this week of yoga for me. I keep feeling drawn to do it, so I have been. This particular video was new and quite challenging for me since those areas are very stiff. I was completely immersed in the stretches and then when in savasana things changed.

The voice on the video requested I focus on the upper area of my heart (this was unexpected). So I did but when I did I felt uneasy, almost faint, and so would shift my focus to my third-eye and then redirect. The feeling kept returning along with a very strong presence to my left. It was really, really close and really, really BIG. I kept thinking, “I am going to pass out” but kept doing what the man was telling me to do. Focus on the upper heart area. Relax. Try not to think. Etc. The entire time this area of my heart felt very weird and caused me to feel as if I would pass out.

As the video was ending I was so deeply relaxed that I began to feel like I was sinking into the floor. I kept hearing noises that I think were on the video but I’m not sure. It just felt so wonderful.

All along there remained the huge presence to my left.

The next thing I know my body is being pounded by wave after wave of energy. Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!

I knew I had entered the trance state and my mind was alerted instantly causing my heart to speed up a bit. But the energy kept pouring over me. It was an all-over intense energy, that came in waves that swept over me each more intense than the last. It was not the energy blanket like I would normally feel in this state. It was superb!

Sadly, my middle son came into the room and asked me why I was sleeping on the floor. Energy slowed but I continued to feel as if I had become one with the floor. Wonderful!

I don’t think I would have gone OOB but I felt like if I had passed out I would have left my body. What was so strange is that I felt drugged, as if I were being lulled into this state. Perhaps that was what the BIG presence was doing?

I am also fascinated by the upper chakra activity from today. First the vibrations from singing, then the strange ache and finally it causing me to feel faint. Weird! I am intrigued!

The BIG presence is Them. You know who, etc, etc. They’re baaaackk. lol

 

 

 

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Light Language Workshop

Yesterday I attended an on-line light activation class. I signed up for it because when I saw it posted a couple of weeks ago my third-eye began to blaze with energy and I thought, “I should do that”. So I did.

Unfortunately, I was unable to fully focus on the second half of the class because my daughter arrived home from school and at the same time my toddler woke from his nap. He is a very fussy, clingy little one after a nap, so I had to hold him and console him, missing out of the last hour of the class.

I did, however, get to do the first part which invovled drumming and practicing vocalizing light language. The first part caused my third-eye to blaze intensely. The second half I struggled with but did participate in. Whenever I vocalized what was coming through my whole body was covered in warm energy that spread from my heart chakra outward. My third-eye also was very intense with energy.

I was able to write down some of what I received but was interrupted by the bus arriving. The picture above is what I wrote, but only the smaller symbols. The second half is what came out this morning right after waking.

Activation

I believe there was an activation initiated with this class but it has not been anything major for me as of yet. I was resistant to expressing the language coming through via vocalization and movement. However, I have no issue allowing the symbols to flow through and I hear the sounds/words/syllables in my mind.

My head began to hurt during and after the class. It was localized to the area right above my left eye. I was told in the class that this is not uncommon. It was not painful enough to disrupt my life and this morning it is gone.

Interpretation of Symbols

The symbols above have varying meanings and I will not go into detail about what each one means. The message includes: “Galactic Council of Light”, “trans-dimensional”, “communication”, “assimilation”, “build (house)”, “freedom” and “barriers”.

The second half, the larger section I wrote this morning, includes: “contact point”, “reference”, “destination”, “simultaneous”, “influx”, “energy”, “translocation” among others.

Overall the messages I received when put together send a message of connection and communication with the Council and Galactic Federation of Light. There is also a communication about an upcoming influx of energy and contact with my Team.

 

 

 

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Dream: Baby Snails

I slept really hard last night and had many strange dreams, the kind where nothing really makes much sense and blend together. When I woke up, 10 hours later, I felt drowsy and didn’t want to get out of bed. I asked to astral project but was told, “We are working on you [energetically]” so I knew it was a no-go.

Dreams About My Nanny

For two nights in a row I’ve had dreams about my grandmother who died last year not long after the birth of my son.

In the first dream my grandmother was on the floor of her home cleaning it vigorously with a large towel. Her poodle was nearby watching. I asked her, “Nanny, why are you on the floor?” She said, “It’s dirty and my knees are out”. This was typical of her in her later years as her knees both went out.

Last night I dreamed of her again, but this time I did not see her. Instead I was inside her home where her things were being laid out on the kitchen table. There were many small jars and a strange looking vibrating thing. I picked up the latter and was asked if I wanted it by my mom. I knew it was a dildo and said, “No. Gross”. Then my mom showed me the attachment and it was this foot long, smooth and flat rod. It looked more like a sword than a dildo. It was really weird! I remember not wanting to think about my grandparents using it together.

Then I saw a machine and an attachment. The attachment was for an enema and I was again grossed out, imaging my grandmother giving herself an enema. lol

Finally, I began looking at the jars on the table. Inside one I saw a tiny brown and black puppy. I remembered my grandmother often froze dead puppies (not sure why). I looked closer and the puppy had two maggots on it. Yuck! The other containers also contained puppies. I looked in one and there were three.

I then went into a dream within a dream where I watched a mother dog and her three puppies. The mother dog refused to let them nurse and the puppies slowly starved to death. As I watched, a woman was telling me that she kept them together as much as possible. I kept asking why she didn’t feed them herself. The answer I got was she had to let nature take its course. This upset me quite a bit. I felt it was unfair and was sad about it.

Dream: Baby Snails

I had an odd, very vivid dream after that. In it I was in an apartment standing with others looking at someone who said, “When you come back for your friend you will die”. It looked like he threw something towards us and this force-field of blue shimmered. I didn’t worry about what he said because my friend was already with me.

We went into a room and I watched my friends sit on the floor and eat. I began to clean up the floor which was covered in crumbs and debris and asked them to please not eat in the living area. That is when I saw a plant that was doing poorly. I picked it up and found it had too much water in it. I squeezed out the water and these strange pods fell out.

I picked up a pod and wondered what it was. It reminded me of buckeye seed but it was light colored and smooth. Something was moving inside. I inspected it further and determined it was two baby snails.

I took the snails to a science lab and showed them to this guy. He dissected it, which upset me. I said, “You’ll kill them!”. I remember being fascinated by the baby snails.

The rest of this dream is confusing. The whole time it felt to me that we were hiding from a war that was raging all around us.

Interpretations

Prior to sleep last night I experienced a great emotional outpouring over the refugee situation in Europe. I had watched a video and was hit suddenly with a great sadness for them and their plight. It brought up to the surface past issues of loss, specifically loss of children and the innocent. Such emotional situations always make me wonder how people can be so cruel. I believe the dream I had in my grandmother’s home was about this.

The second dream also applies to this issue. Snails represent over sensitivity. They can also symbolize steady progress towards a goal and bring the message to go at one’s own pace.

I know without knowing how that I am currently focusing on my heart center, purging yet more from it’s depths. It would be nice to be able to be objective about the suffering on this planet and not be hit with the pain I did yesterday when thinking of the refugees. Similarly, I would like to not feel this way when considering the deaths of the innocent, animal and human alike. I am not sure there is even a way to avoid such emotion, though.

 

 

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3 Dreams

It was difficult for me to sleep last night. I kept waking up and it was too cold in our house. I finally got another blanket and fell asleep at around 2:30am.

My dreams were many and they had a similar theme. I was in another person’s life (or so it seemed) in each dream. In these lives I felt to be this other person fully.

Dream 1: Young Person in Greece

In the first dream, I was a young boy of about 12, maybe younger. I felt to be remembering a portion of my life. I recall running home from school. I took a route where there was construction and remember feeling tiny pebbles hurting my bare feet. I thought, “I shouldn’t have gone this way! I knew these rocks were here. Ouch!”

Around the corner I met up with an older boy and a girl at a restaurant. The boy offered to buy us food so I accepted. It was brought to our table by a round woman who we all knew. The food was not dissimilar to food I have eaten at Greek restaurants, which I why I assume I was in Greece.

After we ate, I ran home and remember again that I was barefoot because I could feel the wet grass under my feet and the cold concrete of the pavement.

Then I could see the young girl from the restaurant. She and the boy sat close and she knew he liked her. She was tall and very plain, most boys didn’t like her. But he did. I remember the round lady told the boy, “You would be better liked if you didn’t smell!”

Dream 2: Young Person in Japan

I was with a friend in an apartment. We were sitting and having tea. We heard our friend coming in and played a joke on her, hiding the tea under the table and then pretending to sleep. The tea was in small, Asian cups as was the teacup – my first hint of where I was.

We heard that the weather was changing and snow was forecast. I yelled, “Snow!” and my friend said, “We should go to _____ house” (can’t remember the name now). I said to him, “It is just snow, not an earthquake”, but I went with him anyway.

We arrived at his father’s house where soup was being served. We all sat down and it was suggested we invite the neighbors. We were in a large apartment building with many levels. A young girl came in and we both were happy she was there. I knew my friend was interested in her. He passed a spoon to her and their eyes locked. I saw he was Asian then, and knew I was also.

I remembered looking out the window and seeing that we were high up and across the way was another apartment building of many, many stories. We were obviously in a large city.

The feeling of the impending earthquake overshadowed the entire scene but I enjoyed the feeling that permeated the scene: everyone was family in that complex. We helped one another and enjoyed each others company.

Dream 3: Cleaning Fish Tanks

In this dream I was a child assisting my mother with cleaning out two fish tanks. I don’t recall much of this dream except that we transferred fish into the tank and one was near death. I worked to revive him by turning on the bubbler. I could vividly see the fish swimming around the 10 gallon tank and a frog-like creature swimming without its head (weird).

While in this dream I remembered a time in my own life when I had a nice 20 gallon tank in my apartment. I had to sell it when moving and wished I had not for it was much better than the one I was currently seeing in my dream.

I awoke at this time thinking of old memories, memories of times long past. I don’t remember the specifics now but I recall being told not to linger on them as I was purging unnecessary memories.

Considerations

It is my feeling that these dreams were actual lives somewhere in present time. They could be in another dimension or in this one but for sure they are part of me, as in an aspect of myself living right now. I felt to be visiting in order to experience what they were. I remember the feelings the most. In the Greek life I remember the feeling of first love, when two young people are attracted but do not know how to proceed. The nervous-anticipation was palpable. It was the same in the Japanese life except there was this large, family group feeling – we all were family even though not by blood. The new love was also there but this time I recognized how it contrasted to my own life and the fear of rejection and ridicule that so often accompanied it. I knew in this Japanese life that no one would ridicule the new love but it would be accepted and honored.

I believe I was shown these lives to show me my connection to the world and the very different experiences others are having right now. The earthquake bothers me some because of the large city I was in. Is this perhaps meaning one is coming? I don’t know, but I know the people there will rely on one another in a way we Americans would find surprising.