Category Archives: Healing

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Trust

After an exciting evening and early morning, I was finally able to fall asleep without crazy energy, visions and OBEs. I did still have some intense energy shooting through me which I soon found was easily calmed simply by focusing on my heart. I fell asleep centered in my heart.

Dream: Meteor Shower

I was in a parking lot at a college somewhere. It was very late at night and I had just finished reading a long email from someone who read my blog. The email was lengthy – at least four or five pages – and the man was from Germany and telling me his whole life story. I don’t remember his name now, but in the dream as I read the email I heard him speaking to me. He told me he was 44 years old, dark skinned and kept to himself and he was looking to work with others like himself living in one of four continents. I remember thinking he was a little too intense for me and laughing quietly to myself as I realized he was coming onto me.

At this point something caught my eye and I looked up and saw a massive meteor shower. Dozens of meteors streaked across the sky in a brilliant display of light. I was in awe. A young couple walked by and I pointed it out to them. They were a bit nervous as I was in the shadows and seemed to jump out at them. I just laughed and kept watching.

This was when a vivid image of a comet came into my mind. It was not part of the dream. It was just there and startled me awake.

Interpretation

When I awoke the comet vision was very much ingrained in my mind. On top of that, I was still feeling intense energy coursing through my body. This energy was similar to vibrations one feels when about to go OOB but more intense. I also had intense crown and third-eye activity along with some high heart and throat chakra buzzing.

I find the dream interesting because I feel I was actually talking to someone while in my dream. Could be he was an old friend or someone who astral projects or dream walks. Whoever he was, he was nice but a bit to the extreme. The energy was extremely intense and pushy but it was flattering.

Then I saw the meteor shower and the dream symbolism is that the dreamer is having romantic thoughts and/or idealistic notions. This just makes me laugh out loud, especially since I saw the brilliant comet right after. Comets indicate the dreamer needs to move on and free themselves from emotional and physical burdens. Touche!

Trust

It took me an entire day to write up as much as I could about my experiences last night and early this morning. There is more – so much more – but I am not sure telling it would help anyone or make much sense. Instead I will say that my Team came through with flying colors. Whatever they did for me during the night completely eradicated the “split” feeling I have been struggling with for the past five or six days. I have never been pushed to such an extreme in my life and really thought I was going to have to somehow just learn to live with what was happening to me. But when I woke this morning the split feeling was just….gone. I feel completely back to normal and freed from that inner hell. I had a marvelous day and have been feeling sublime. So wonderful!

In considering what exactly my Team did that shifted everything for me, I realized it had to do with Trust. That is it. So simple. I was in my heart space, but instead of just allowing the feelings and trusting their divine purpose, I ignored the knowingness and flat out went into fear. Somehow, through all my guided OOB lessons, I was shown how to trust the feelings and knowingness I found in my heart. So very, very important because in trusting the heart you trust that it will lead you exactly where you are suppose to be and that is the most freeing feeling ever.

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Turning Point

Last night was one of the most powerful nights I have had in a long time. So much happened that I will have to break it up into at least three posts, maybe more.

Here is a quick overview of what occurred:

  1. Discussion with one of my assistants about what has been happening with me and why.
  2. 9:30-10:30m – Semi-lucid dream/OBE.
  3. 10:30-10:45pm – awake briefly
  4. 10:45-12:30am – Fully lucid, guided dream that turned OBE several times.
  5. 12:30-1:30am – Awake and discussing what was going on and why. Multiple messages. I got up and wrote it all down.
  6. 1:30-3:00am – Couldn’t sleep. Too much energy.
  7. 3:00-3:45am – Amazing hypnagogic imagery turned guided “travel” while I was still in my body.
  8. 4:00-5:30am – Finally slept but had intensely vivid dreams related to the night’s events.

Discussion

Though my day had gone well, I was still struggling with the split feeling I have had for several weeks now. I had been asking for help – to understand and handle this feeling – for some time. For some reason last night wast he night the explanation was given. Perhaps I was finally receptive?

One of my assistants predominated the conversation that began around 8:30pm. He explained that what was happening to me was purposeful and that they (my Team) had been preparing me for some time (over a year). He reminded me that I knew this (I did) but did not consciously want to accept it. He asked me to focus on my heart, which is getting easier and easier to do. When I did there was an overwhelming knowingness of what was happening and why. It was always there, of course, but my mind has been in overdrive, my Ego not willing to accept what was happening.

According to my guide, I am currently in the process of “connecting to Source”. This involves the shedding of multiple layers of what I will call “the old me”. I again saw the onion as an analogy. Each layer that comes off reveals more old stuff to be healed, transmuted, and integrated. It is painful (obviously!). He said about the process, “Acknowledge it. Trust it. Allow it to help you transition.” What I feel in my heart is the accumulation of lifetimes, and beyond that is divine connection to Source. The closer I get to the center (Source) the stronger the pull is from it. The heart is the ultimate compass. We are meant to live through the heart, following it, trusting it. We have lived through the mind for so long that we have forgotten what it feels like to follow the heart.

He said many times, “You are at a turning point”.

He instructed me many times to return to my heart center, which I did. Each time the obviousness of what my heart was telling me to do was overwhelming but I did not run from it. It is kind of funny to think anyone could run from their own heart anyway. lol

I asked to get to travel OOB and was told it was now possible because I was “stable”.

OBE: David Bowie

I very quickly realized I was OOB but I was not in full control. It was like my lucidity was purposefully muted. I didn’t care, though, because it has been so long since I have been OOB.

I spent most of this OBE moving into and settling into two different bodies. The first was my exact duplicate or counterpart, not the physical body I reside in while on Earth. I don’t know which aspect but it felt fairly solid. I felt the energy shift as I entered and assumed this body. It was like I put on clothing. I don’t recall anything specific about the energy other than recognizing it was very obviously feminine.

Then I entered a fairly dream-like state where my lucidity was much limited. I was with my guide and knew his name was John and that he was teaching me something about myself.

The next thing I remember is moving into yet another “body”. Again it felt fairly solid but this time it was most definitely male. I had less issue shifting into this body and then, while setting in, I saw very clearly a man just in front of me. When I saw him I instantly recognized him as David Bowie! He didn’t do anything but stare into the distance, so it was likely just a symbol I was being shown. But he was very vivid!

After seeing him I realized something about myself had changed. I had a bit of amnesia as to my gender. I had no clue what gender I was and I didn’t care. I felt whole and it was wonderful!

I felt my conscious mind take over, as if allowed control, and came suddenly into my body. I was confused and elated and a bit shocked about the whole experience. My mind was going a million miles an hour with questions. My body was extremely hot and there was an intense amount of energy coursing through me. I felt like a firecracker!

I was instructed to shut down my mind, and I did so quite quickly. I looked at the clock and saw that I had been asleep only an hour. Once I closed my eyes I entered the void immediately.

In considering this OBE I believe I was shifting into different energy bodies. I don’t which ones for sure, though. Whichever energy body I shifted into was one that did not identify with gender.

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Horse Symbolism

It has been a beautiful day today and I have been outside most all of it. Today I went to visit my mom as is my normal weekly routine. I do it because I love her but also because I feel I should – as if my time with her is limited and so I should make the most of it while I can.

While at my mom’s house I sat in the sun, absorbing it’s warmth as much as I could and watching the clouds fly past. It seemed like they were in a hurry to get somewhere. Their exuberance was appealing to me. I wish I was up there with them.

Here are some shots of the clouds today. I wish I had taken video now so you could see just how fast they were moving through the sky.

After tending to (and playing with) the chickens we caught the attention of the neighbors horses. My children and I spent most of the rest of our time there with the two horses, feeding them and petting them. They were so gentle, their muzzles so soft as they tried to find food in our empty hands or eat our hair. lol

I was especially drawn to the horses today for some reason. I see them every visit but don’t care much to communicate with or pet them. But today I wanted to get up close and hug one. The closest I got was to pet their faces and smell their horse smell. That was enough considering I really am afraid of them. Baby steps. 🙂

When we got home I was still thinking about the horses. I was reminded that I have had many, many encounters with horses in dreams and OBEs. A horse has even talked to me while OOB! lol It has been suggested by many others that horse is likely one of my totems and I tend to agree. I was obsessed with them as a child and use to draw pictures of wild mustangs constantly. Every picture I drew had either a horse or a unicorn in it. 🙂 Strangely, when in the presence of a horse I am often nervous and afraid of how big and powerful they are.

I know that horses symbolize freedom, especially the wild ones. Tame horses, on the other hand, tend to represent aspects of one’s personality that they keep confined.

Rather than write it all out, you can read about the horse here.

From what I can tell, it appears that I am being drawn to the horse at this time in my life to help me with some of the current challenges I am facing. I have been really struggling with the transformation or whatever it is that I am going through. I have never in my life experienced such a split within myself and it is painfully present at all times during the day. The only reprieve I get is while I sleep but it comes back as soon as I wake. I am learning to be in my heart space despite feeling this split and it is getting easier – er well maybe I am just getting use to it. There is guidance but it is limited because whatever is happening to me is something my Team cannot interfere with. From what I can tell, there is a mountain sized issue standing in my path and I don’t think I will be able to go around it this time. Makes me want to spew out every cuss word that exists.

Thinking I should have just gone over the fence and given that horse a hug now. Maybe it would have made me feel better? Or maybe it would have kicked the crap out of me. LOL

 

 

 

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Dream: Graduation Commencement

So yesterday, after a clear message that I needed to rest and recuperate from a very intense month of upgrades, energy acceleration and heart opening, I took time to relax and unwind in my own way. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day and I took advantage of it by being outside as much as I could. It helped immensely and I felt almost normal by the end of the day.

I recognized a definite shift in my energy at one point and before I had a chance to celebrate the return to “normalcy” my third-eye began to intensely buzz and energy quickly covered the entire crown of my head. With this came a very clear message, “Lightening bolt”. There was no missing the message. The feeling behind it was that there was more to come and it would be like a lightening bolt to me and my life.

I wondered aloud to my Team, “Hadn’t I just had a lightening bolt occur? If not, then what is this ‘lightening bolt’?” Worry quickly took over and just as suddenly I didn’t care. I told my Team, “Whatever happens, happens. I am so over all of this and I am sure I can handle whatever it is that life throws at me.”

I retreated to bed not long after succumbing to a physical and mental exhaustion that I had not noticed until that evening. It literally felt like the four weeks of intense change had left me an empty shell. Everything hurt down to an aching in my bones.

Dream: Graduation Commencement

I was discussing with my group (family) my upcoming graduation which I had somehow forgotten about. I was told I would be late if I didn’t hurry up. I was not happy about graduating. In fact, I felt totally disinterested and not at all excited. My group reminded me that I would be singing and giving a speech of some sort because of my class ranking. This made me nervous and I struggled to remember the words of the song. I remember saying, “But I have not even heard the song yet! How am I suppose to sing it if I haven’t rehearsed?” They reassured me that I already knew the song. I didn’t believe them.

As we approached the event hall I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in attendance. I said, “We are almost 2 hours early. Why are there already so many people here?” There were so many cars and people that I could not see past them! I remember the time was 6:40pm and the graduation did not start until 8.

Inside the event hall it was packed wall-to-wall with people. I wondered, “Why are there so many people here for such a small graduating class?” In my mind I confused the dream graduation with my own high school graduation of which there were only 35 graduates. The answer I received to my question was that the people attending were family of family of family ad infinitum.

Here the dream split off into many mini-dreams of which I won’t go into specific detail. There was a moment where I was married to a 70 year old man and in another I was discussing a pregnancy with a woman who resembled me and was very, very pregnant.

Interpretation

Graduation is always symbolic of transition and movement to a higher level. Forgetting about graduation indicates not being mentally prepared for the next level and subconsciously resisting. To me, singing represents a celebration within myself of my accomplishment and a rising of vibration. Singing always brings me joy. I seem to fear that I will not know the song so perhaps I am afraid of feeling joy?

The marriage to a 70 year old could indicate an upcoming death while the pregnancy indicates an upcoming birth. More transformation. Lightening bolt.

Messages

When I woke this morning I felt very calm and did not want to wake up. Sleep felt so good. Wonderful in fact. I felt like I had been asleep for a 100 years and I did not want the feeling to go away. Yet I was reminded upon waking that I had been recuperating and that my rest was nearly finished. What? I had hoped for a longer reprieve!

Before I could react fully and while still in-between I noticed I was not alone. My Companion was on my left and with him was another member of our Team. To my right, though, stood three brilliant white lights. They looked to me like white flames of energy. There was no body shape as I am use to seeing when I see energy beings. They looked like white fire. When I saw them I overflowed with hope and a longing to be with them. I mistakenly thought I they had come to take me Home and I was so ready to go with them. My Companion rudely interrupted and said very firmly, “No”. You can imagine my disappointment.

He told me, “They are here to help you”. I was upset, rightfully so. The urge to go with them was very strong and yet here I was being told I couldn’t go with them, or at least I couldn’t stay with them. They were likely the reason why when I woke up I felt so good. I felt rejuvenated and whole again. My heart didn’t hurt, my body didn’t hurt, I felt like I did before all the craziness of December hit me.

With the realization that I could not go Home yet, all the memory of my recent experiences came flooding back and hit me like a ton of bricks. Thankfully it was muted but it was enough that I began to feel again like I would die from the force of it. I asked, begged, to not have a repeat of it all.

I was then reminded of the past life I recently recalled. I feel like it may be time to go through it in more detail.

 

 

 

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Ylang Ylang: Oil of the Heart

Two nights ago I had a dream that I forgot about until last night. In the dream I was frantically dabbing essential oils of all kinds all over myself. I was handed an essential oil by someone to use. I was encouraged to use it generously. I read the name of the oil several times, repeating it to myself with the intention of remembering it.

The oil I was given was Ylang Ylang. I do not own this essential oil and am not very familiar with it, but my research indicates it is the best essential oil for healing the heart and getting back in touch with one’s inner child. It helps to release bottled up and buried emotions smoothly while nurturing the heart. It also reminds one that joy can be recovered by allowing the heart to feel all emotion fully.

Talk about the perfect message and oil for me right now!

Since I do not own this oil, I searched my oil blends to see if any contained this oil. I found that my most favorite oil blend – Serenity – contains Ylang Ylang. It is said that we are drawn to oils that we most need. This is definitely true for me as I have used more Serenity oil than any other oil I own. lol

Here is the DoTERRA information page for Ylang Ylang for those of you who are interested.

 

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Stuck with You

Huey Lewis and the News – Stuck with You (1986)

I don’t know about you all, but the energies lately have thrown me into a tailspin. I read a recent astrological report which indicated the the 9th was an especially emotionally turbulent day. No kidding! Yesterday was no less tumultuous to me but I was too busy dealing with life issues to much notice my melancholy.

Mercury has been retrograde not even a week and I am already having technical difficulties. Usually it’s my husband who has the issues. Over the last two retrogrades his phone has given him issue. Well, it’s my turn now I guess! My phone works in all ways except to send and receive calls. It will sporadically send and receive (all day yesterday it did) but it is really annoying!

Then yesterday our hot water heater decided to overflow all over the garage and my husband had to spend most of the day replacing it. Thankfully he is a journeyman plumber so knows what he is doing but the water heater cost $500. Yuck!

On top of all this, we had planned my middle son’s 5th birthday party for that evening. So I spent all day preparing. Then a neighbor dropped his kid off and my husband agreed I would watch this little boy without telling me about it. What a mess! Imagine trying to clean house and prepare for a party with four kids age 7 and under running around – impossible!

Throughout the entire day I felt the pressure building inside me and I blew up on my husband around 3pm and hid in my bedroom for a little while until party plans brought me back out.

By the evening I was frazzled and sleep could not come soon enough.

When I woke up this morning I was angry at my Companion and Team for varying reasons I won’t get into. My Companion moved to my left side and was very close and not alone. I knew he was blocking Spirit, which I was pleased about. I have been so angry that I told him I would not channel anymore and was ready to stop blogging completely. I asked for no more nighttime travels to space or E.T. encounters. It is all too much for me right now.

Through all my upset I was hit over and over with warm heart hugs that spread throughout my body. Usually these settle me down but I just continued to yell at my Companion. Despite this, the hugs kept coming.

Once I settled down I began to hear a song playing in my head:

Yes, it’s true
(Yes, it’s true)
I am happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it’s true
(Yes, it’s true)
I’m so happy to be stuck with you
‘Cause I can see
(I can see)
That you’re happy to be stuck with me

Hahahaha! Who wouldn’t laugh? This is so like Steven to shove a song in my head about being “stuck” together and liking it! If I could strangle him I would.

No matter how angry or upset or depressed I get Steven always attempts to lighten my mood. I am usually too serious to laugh but this one was too funny.

But what is up with all these 80’s songs? Really?

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Holy Spirit – Heart Bliss

Today I went to visit my mom, step-father, sister and nephew. I usually go once a week but since the Christmas holidays I have not gone in two weeks. I missed it!

An interesting thing happened that I wanted to share with you all. My Mom, who has been a member of the Church of Christ all her life, came up to me and said, “I want to tell you something that you may think is creepy.” I said, “I don’t know if I want to know now.” She continued anyway.

She told me about her morning routine. She said, “Every morning when I wake up I come in here and do some gentle yoga stretches. Then I sit quietly for a while and ask for the Holy Spirit to come into me.” She showed how she stands facing the window and puts both her arms into the air to accept the Holy Spirit.

“Well, it does and it feels amazing! The first time it happened I started crying and it stopped. I find if I cry it always stops. But I was told by a woman at church to not resist it so I began to just ask for it to come into me. And it comes every time I ask”.

I congratulated her on her experience and she went on. “I have to tell you, though, it feels really, really good. Like orgasmic.” She giggled here and was a bit ashamed. I said to her, “Yes, but not sexual.” And she said, “Right” and nodded. I asked her, “Does it come in through here (I touched her back at her heart space) and then spread out all across your body?” She nodded, “Yes!” I asked her, “Does it make you just want to melt into the chair?” She said, “Yes, every time”. I told her, “I have felt that for a long time. I call it heart bliss”. She said, “Well I call it the Holy Spirit”. I said, “Same thing to me.”

My mom was so relieved after this that she began to talk to me about her bible studies and the book of Genesis. She told me she doesn’t like reading Genesis. She said, “It just doesn’t make sense to me. There has to be a whole lot of the story missing. For example, when Cain goes to the land of Nod to get married, how could he do that if Adam and Eve were the first and only people? Yet there is obviously a whole other group of people in the land of Nod. I think there had to have been at least five or six Adam and Eve’s.”

I laughed and said, “You should watch Ancient Aliens.” She gave me a questioning look so I went on. “Some people think that the first humans were brought here from outer space – seeded. Some people think that God did the same on many other planets”.

She didn’t even go there. LOL Instead she went on to how she was reading the book of John at the same time as she was reading Genesis so she was reading one book from each testament. I just laugh at how my mom handles information she is not ready for. She didn’t even skip a beat! LOL

I love my mom and I so very pleased to hear that she is experiencing the heart bliss. She is a total believer of the bible and experiencing the very same heart energy that I and many others have experienced and are still experiencing right now. It just goes to show that no matter your belief system the changes happening on Earth are affecting everyone regardless of their beliefs.

My mom is truly blown away by what she is experiencing. For her, something as wonderful as the heart bliss (Holy Spirit) is a life-changing event. I can’t wait to see if it expands into something more and I know if it does I will be one of the first to know.

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Energy Surges

Happy 2016 everyone!

I had a busy night last night welcoming in the new year. Although I stayed home and was in bed by 10pm, energetically and spiritually I was a busy woman.

Energy Surges

After I fell to sleep, I recall being bombarded by energy surges to my heart chakra. I knew what was going on while it was occurring, but all that remained was an odd memory of being zapped and talking with someone. I awoke at 10:30 and 12:30pm because of the zaps of energy. Both times that I woke I was extremely thirsty and felt completely exhausted and wiped out, so I didn’t really care to ask what was going on.

4:30 Briefing

I was awakened at 4:30am with tears in my eyes, but I did not know why I was crying. I was also starving and very, very thirsty. As I tried to remember what had happened, I recovered memory of being on board a silver craft of some sort that was hovering mid-air. I recalled very briefly a dream of being inside a silver helicopter, but I knew instantly this was how my human mind was trying to make sense of where I had been. The helicopter opened up from its center and I knew I had transferred from one craft to another. Unfortunately, that is all the memory I retained.

For a brief time I was upset that my memories were being wiped again but with that upset came an intense calm from my heart and a knowing that I was focusing on the wrong thing. An overwhelming amount of calm hit me then and I no longer cared what I had dreamed about. I just knew I would remember what I was meant to, when I was meant to.

Messages

Once fully awake I had a guide I did not initially recognize to my left. I asked who he was and felt he was the one who I call The Dr. This confirmed what I knew had been occurring throughout the night – I had been receiving major healing and adjustment and it seemed the focus was mostly to my heart. I commented, “How much more is there to clear!?” It just seems like the healing to my heart never stops! I was told then, “All wounds heal with time”.

I was then shown an image of the final result the healing and adjustment. I saw golden energy in human form. I was told, “This is you”. Then, I saw a light shoot up through the middle, starting at the feet. As it moved up the energy appeared to grow in size and intensity. When it got to the crown it exploded out in a cascading golden waterfall of energy. I asked what it meant and I was told, “You will continuously be connected to Source”. I asked what that meant and was told, “It is so you can do your work”.

I managed to fall back to sleep and when I woke up an hour later I had memory of something else. I had been talking to The Dr. and he had put both my hands into a cup full of crystals. I could feel the round, smooth cool crystals on my hands. What was interesting is that they were immersed in some kind of gel, a conductor of some sort. How I know this, I am not sure. I asked what had been happening was was told, “It clarifies thought”. I also knew this had been what I was doing on board the silver craft.

What is very cool about all this is that when I woke I knew exactly what I was suppose to do. Not only did I know what I was suppose to do, but I had memories of a review of not only this life but several past lives. The purpose of which was to alert me to a karmic pattern that I could break in this lifetime.

Changes

My Team has also been congratulating me on my progress. This often comes with a question, “Don’t you see how far you’ve come?” or “Do you see how much you’ve changed?” I have been overwhelmed by the intense energy and the holidays so I have not really thought about their questions. However, this morning I am acutely aware of how much I have changed. What I think is the most noticeable is how connected I feel to my purpose and my guidance. I am notorious for flat-out ignoring my intuition. Now it seems my intuition is unavoidable. It seems to almost shout at me and what is bizarre is that I listen and if I don’t listen I am easily swayed. It’s the heart connection. It is like a mind-wiping, beautiful, loving and comforting hug that says, “Remember”. Though my heart is far from being my primary compass, it is quickly shifting in that direction. I am feeling an intense pull to change. It is almost compulsory in intensity and it is coming directly from my heart center. And I know it is only going to intensify.

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Message: We Will Fill Your Cup

I had the entire day and house to myself yesterday. It was a much needed reprieve from my normal, hectic life. Plus the K energy subsided almost completely. Relief! I continue to have a lull in the energy but have incidences of high heart chakra energy and my third-eye is back to a near constant buzz.

I felt so good I visited the gym. This time I had absolutely no issues whatsoever and managed to stay over an hour. Yay! I did notice I was being stared at quite a bit. I was staring right back! hehe

Dreams: Unexpected Party and $70

Despite sleeping very well again, I had odd dreams. In one I returned to a home I didn’t recognize to find my mother-in-law in my kitchen burning something in the oven. I asked about it and then freaked out because my entire house was dirty – the floors covered in dirt and leaves, the kitchen had food and mess all over and the living area was just as dirty. I lost it and my MIL informed me that she was preparing for the party.

What party?

I went outside to try and find my husband and saw a parking lot full of cars and people. All of them were coming to my house! I spent most of the dream after that pacing in and out of my house and yelling at people that I didn’t know. I got lots of stares, like they were thinking, “What the f#^k is wrong with you?” I didn’t care. I was waaaay past caring.

I confronted my husband about it and he just ignored me. He does that and it just infuriated me more. I went back inside and locked myself in the back room frantic to figure out what to do. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t – I don’t make enough income on my own and don’t want to return to education. There were 75 people I didn’t know and who I didn’t care to know in my house and they weren’t leaving. My head was spinning. What do I do?

I finally just  went back to the living area. There I saw children playing next to a Christmas tree. I got on my hands and knees and went up to the tree. I remember thinking,”What is a tree doing here? I already took it down!” I began removing the ornaments close to the floor because there were little ones. One of the children came up next to me and I smiled. I remember noticing a significant calm come over me. Suddenly I didn’t care about my anger or my lying husband. I just wanted to be with the kids.

Then I found myself at a check-out line holding a small vacuum. I gave the woman my money and she gave me back a wad of bills and said, “Here’s a bunch of money”. I took it and saw $70. Knowing she gave me incorrect change, I took it and went to the parking lot. I got to the car and there was my husband and two other men. I was still furious with my husband but got into the car with him and the other two men. What is funny is they were eating plates full of eggs!

Interpretation

When I woke I was not happy and immediately asked to be let out of this life. I completely wanted out. I don’t know why. It was like I was being asked to make an impossible decision and I didn’t want to.

I know that the dream is symbolic of how my marriage and relationship dynamics are not aligned with my heart. The anger and frantic energy is my upset at feeling unable to do anything about this.

The Christmas tree is representative of the gift my Team told me I received this Christmas – love. The children represent this love and they dissolve my anger completely. I feel at peace despite previously being angry. I feel like this is a message to focus on my heart.

Messages 

Of course my Companion was there and asking me to talk about my feelings and focus on my heart. I was still upset and asking for him to trade places with me since he seemed to know so much about what I am going through. I get so frustrated with him!

I saw very clearly a shoe box in the top of a closet. On top of it was very clearly written, “Questions”. I asked if I could ask some and was told yes but quickly found I didn’t really want to know the answers yet. I kept being referred to my heart but focusing on it made me feel like I felt in my dream – the frantic part. Who wants to feel that way? Not me.

Then I saw an empty cup on the shelf next to the box. I heard, “We will fill your cup”. I was reminded of the question, “Is your cup half empty or half full?” Mine is just empty. The symbolism was not lost to me.

My Companion tells me I was given a gift and this is what will fill my cup.

 

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Proposal from Spirit

I was asked by Spirit today if I would consider being a medium again.

I was not expecting it. I was doing a yearly forecast for a friend of mine (tarot reading) when Spirit stepped forward as I was tuning in. It was so crystal clear that I was a bit taken aback. I quickly took down the message and then a group in Spirit approached me.

It was like they were waiting in the shadows. I felt them – 10 of them – but one came forward to speak for the rest. That is how they usually speak to me because that is my rule otherwise they usually all speak at once and that would give anyone a headache. 😉

I wish I remember their exact words when they presented to me their “proposal”. LOL I laugh because it was very obvious this was a planned encounter. I do remember that they mentioned my heart being open as a sign that I was “available” to them in this capacity again. The woman speaking for the group was tall with very straight blonde hair that went to her hips. She looked like a model – tall, thin, angular features and blue eyes. Almost like an elf.

I told them I would allow them to come to me again (I had previously asked Steven to shut the gates to them) but I did not want them to harass or pressure me. And I would do it on my terms and only as long as it brought about good for both me and everyone else involved. In the past I stopped enjoying giving readings because I got caught up in the money making aspect of it. I was not greedy but I wanted to do it for a living. I learned quickly that making money using my spiritual gifts disagreed with me. I ended up in an Ego tug-of-war because of it and quickly entered my Dark Night (long, long story).

Mediumship is my absolute favorite spiritual gift. There is nothing like the energy that comes through or the personalities of those in Spirit I speak with. When I use this gift/ability it never ceases to blow my mind. And what is even more astonishing is that I forget pretty much everything Spirit tells after I break the connection. If I don’t record it, I lose it. All of it. It is like my memory is erased. I remember my clients would often return and say things like, “Remember when you said…..” and I would be like, “No. Sorry”. LOL

When I was openly a medium and giving readings as a living in 2003-2005 I felt the most in line with my purpose here. I wanted to do it forever. I really thought I had found my purpose. Nothing since has given me such satisfaction. I have seen Spirit again recently and held back. I don’t know if my husband would accept it. When I saw Spirit in a restaurant one time and told my husband he gave me a weird look. lol But in 2003-2005 I would openly tell people I was a medium and do readings pretty much everywhere I was. I was proud of my gift and didn’t care if it made people uncomfortable. I got a lot of strange looks! lol

My other favorite ability is my medical intuition. This ability never faded away. I always have it, but I don’t use it because I don’t want to know. Really, I don’t. 🙂 However, it is very useful in healing, so I always use my medical intuition to see energy blockages. I can usually see my own blockages as well. Since the light language transmission began and I started speaking and writing the codes, I have found that my healing ability is ten times stronger than it was. I will spontaneously begin to speak in light language while sending the healing. I have been told the healing can be felt intensely when I do this.

I suspect this is a nudge from my Team to get back on track and begin using my abilities again. Maybe this time I won’t stumble and fall flat on my face. I am definitely much more humble than I was in my twenties.