Kundalini Resistance

I couldn’t sleep last night. My baby has been sick and my husband left town on a business trip. I asked for help from my guides and fell asleep around midnight.

Penthouse Suite

I became semi-lucid in a dream. I was being escorted into a nice hotel room. Inside, the room was very bright white. I felt out of place, though, and nervous. As I was settling in, someone brought by dinner, which I wasn’t expecting. I went to check it out and began taking it out of the containers and putting into smaller ones for my daughter. What is odd is that the food wasn’t food, it was water.

I was interrupted by a knock at the door. I answered it and a woman with blonde hair wearing business attire and high heels came in. She was clearly a hotel representative. She told me she came to check on how I was doing. She saw the mess I had made with the sorting as she took me to one side of the room. It was then that I noticed the entire side of the room was floor to ceiling windows that overlooked a city. The woman put her hand on my shoulder and remarked about the view. I stared out at the city lights in awe.

The woman mentioned the food mess and said, “You should have your assistants take care of that”. I was insulted and said, “What? You think I can afford to pay assistants?” The woman smiled and looked at me. The feeling of our discussion was that I was promoted to the next level and needed to focus on my “work” and let my assistants handle the small stuff.

The woman left and I went back to my daughter and the food (water) sorting. At some point I was hit with an odd sensation that in the dream felt like I had been mildly electrocuted. It alarmed me and I assumed it came from the cell phones and instructed my daughter to turn hers off. I also turned off mine.

A man came into the room at this time. He was tall with dark hair wearing a professional looking suit. He picked up the black phone and turned it on. I freaked out and told him, “Don’t do that”. I was in a panic and overcome with an intense fear.

colors dropplet ripples waterKundalini Resistance

I awoke completely immobilized by intense bolts of energy shooting through my body at multiple locations. The energy was not painful but it was not pleasant and I could not shake the sheer panic I was feeling. I knew what was happening – kundalini – but I was not happy about it and completely resistant for some reason.

The energy was coming in from above and to my right, shooting down my body at an angle and exiting my left side. I felt it in multiple places at once – my shoulders, head, mid-section, hips. The sensation was similar to the pain felt when an exposed nerve is lightly touched. It made me grit my teeth and hold my breath.

With these jolts of energy was the strange new vibration I felt the night before. There were also hypnagogic images flashing intensely in my mind. With each flash there was a new image. They were in black and white and pink but I cannot remember what they were now. At the time I just wanted it all to stop.

When the strange energy subsided I asked what had happened and heard, “You resisted. You changed”. The hypnagogic images continued and I sent a thought, “Go away”. I was then shown a vision of me standing at a door. Right above the door knob was a sparkling, golden line of light that spread across the entire room and through me at my heart center. It appeared like golden glitter suspended in the air. Below and above the light was clear air. I didn’t know what to make of the vision. I wondered why the energy was somewhat painful this time. I heard, “Even the calmest of water will sometimes ripple” and saw an image of a placid lake become choppy with small waves. I fell asleep not long after.

Lesson? Resistance is futile.

Benadryl, Take Me Away!

I took Benadryl last night because I have been sleeping so light and waking so frequently that I have not been getting good quality sleep. I use to take it nightly so I thought, “Why not?”

When I woke this morning I was in such a relaxed state of dream bliss that I could not make myself get out of bed. I slept 12 hours! The first thing I thought of when I awoke was the old Calgon commercials from when I was growing up. It may give away my age but I don’t care. Take a look and walk down memory lane with me. The one I chose is the exact one that popped into my mind when I woke up.

I almost wrote an “Ode to Benadryl” but figured it was a bit too much. 🙂

Odd Dreams and Vibrations

As a result of my deep sleep, I do not remember much of my dreams. I do recall one instance where I was walking along and saw large patches of lush, green clover. The vividness of the scene brought on awareness quickly and as I reached down to touch it I awoke. My body was buzzing with the pleasant energy of reentry but I was not interested in going OOB. I just wanted to sleep and remember nothing.

After several unsuccessful attempts to pull myself out of bed I fell into a vivid dream. I was watching a man and woman in an office space sorting through important papers. The woman was tall, blonde and wore office attire with high heels. There was a strong feeling that they were doing something illegal and trying to get out of there quick with the evidence.

Then a plain clothed officer came into the room. The woman kept her back to him and then turned and greeted him without alarm, as if he were an old buddy. She said something to him about the papers and he responded in kind. She did not resist being arrested. As he put the cuffs on her she said to him, “You came all the way from New York for me?” and then, “A little ol’ gal from Chicago, Illinois?”

I immediately felt an odd sensation that pulled me from the dream. I literally felt like my energy body was being shaken back and forth, from left to right. It was quite intense at first and then as I became more aware of my body and the feeling settled and did not get worse. I was delighted to have these new sensations and said to my guide, “Bring it on!” willing the strange vibrations to intensify. They continued so I checked my heart rate and it was slow and regular. With nothing to worry about I scanned my body top to bottom and noticed the vibrations spread from my heart chakra to my crown and did not exist below my solar plexus area.

“What is this?” I wondered. I heard, “You are changing”. Yeah, tell me something new.

They faded away without incident and I finally got out of bed still wondering why these vibrations were so different. Was it because of the Benadryl?

2005

I have been reading my journal and am currently in 2005. All I can say is WOW what a crazy, eventful year!

Below you will find my experiences in timeline fashion. The experiences are color coded. Blue is astral projection/OBE, green is a guide encounter experience, red is kundalini. Black is for either ideas/concepts or for experiences that I do not know how to categorize.

January, 2005

29th – While wide awake I heard a voice singing in a foreign language in my head. When I focused on it, I could understand the words. It said:

As the sun turns a deep blood red,

And rivers rise high and flood the land,

The Earth as we know it will begin to fall,

And tears of sorrow you’ll understand.

February, 2005

7th – Astral. Consciously just “walked” out of my body. Heard velcro sound upon exit. I had a teacher who was showing me how to exit when this happened. I asked him “Can I go through the door?” He said, “No”. So I reached out and it was solid so I had to open it. Then I wanted to go outside to my car. I began to think my way there and started spinning real fast. I heard, “No!” and got pulled down. I fell to the floor on my rear. I could feel the cold floor and then became aware of being in two places at once – my bed and on the floor. I could feel my heart pounding in my physical body like I went for a run but I was not in my body, I was sitting by the front door on the floor. I went back to my body and my heart was pounding.

Later discussion with my teacher revealed he was from the Pleiades, He had almost transparent skin and appeared to have webbing between his fingers. There was mention of “Aquatica” and him researching Earth and Earth consciousness. He also warned me about the stress astral projection puts on the physical body.

13th – I was told about the three levels of ascension: transformation of mind, transformation and completion of physical structure and transformation and attainment of spiritual truth (purpose).

March, 2005 – Only lucid dreams this month.

April, 2005

2nd – Guided out of my body by a male guide. Was told to “let go” and when I did I felt free of my body and heard a roaring noise in my ears. I was reminded to “stay focused” several times because I would get overly excited and almost pop back into my body. I couldn’t see but I felt my body moving very, very fast like on a roller coaster. When I did see all I saw was my alarm clock showing 8am and then the numbers started moving forward very fast. I threw open my arms and felt a hand and then grabbed on. I was thrown into a man. I heard a quiet, masculine voice say, “Quite a fine sense you have. The more and more (I finished his sentence) you see, the more and more you will believe. Trust them to know what they see”. He had a U.K. accent and I was about to ask his name but came back into my body.

16th – Spontaneous past life recollection. I relived an incident where I was a little girl of 12 years being gang raped by a bunch of white men (I was a black slave). They held a board over my throat so I couldn’t yell and beat me up pretty badly. I crawled home and was taken care of by my family.

May, 2005

16th – Couldn’t go to sleep after waking up. Heard my guide say, “Go back to sleep”. Closed my eyes and was hit with instant vibrations that were intense over the top of my head and eyes. A picture appears in front of me and I walked into it without even thinking. I came out into a night sky flying and singing. Flew over houses and went into mobile home. Interacted with Hispanic family and then left because it was heavy energy. I climbed into a bed and went to “sleep” and then felt a man. I looked at him and said, “Nick!” He told me, “We were brother and sister in one life – I am Nick you are Grace”. Then I went to a hospital helping sick by giving them energy. I worked with a mother, Barbara, who was having a baby and stayed with her until the baby was born. I then flew by some waterfalls and then saw Nick again and we hugged and talked. I woke up and then when I closed my eyes a screen appeared and I knew I could easily walk through it. I chose to stay. This astral was about 3 hours total length.

19th – Experience of being in two places as I was staring at a TV. screen but not really watching the movie. I felt sucked into the TV. and felt transported to another place. I came back suddenly and with some fear.

25th – Had another experience where I was driving home, feeling very down and wishing I could leave life. I had a very strong pull come from within me that steered the car towards the edge of a bridge I was driving over. I panicked, not sure where this sudden overtaking of my body was. I struggled but managed to keep the car on the road.

June, 2005

3rd – Reading the book Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce. He talks about the trance state and I am convinced that I have been going into trance frequently and this may be the cause for the bridge episode.

5th – Astral experiences detailed here (not going to write them out). Noted that I am not in real-time but most often in astral.

7th – More astral experiences. Learning how to stay in astral and manipulate objects/speed/location.

energyhealingJuly, 2005

2nd – 1st astral: Entered trance state easily. Saw hypnagogic images, heard buzzing in my ears and a loud WHOOSH sound and I exited my body. Walked through objects easily and enjoyed feeling myself become the objects. I found myself watching a map of the universe and then focused in upon Earth. I saw military operations in the desert. I saw a train carrying a helicopter and war machinery and the terrain was very barren with rocks and boulders. I asked to not be shown these things and so focused upon my body, purposefully moving it to come out of astral.

2nd astral: This was my first conscious projection with one of the methods from Bruce’s book. I felt myself outside my body after trying a technique of rocking my body. I ended up head down staring at the floor and out of my body. I noted that I could not go through objects like last time. I played around, learning to materialize objects. Made money materialize and then my dog joined me and we romped around a while. Then I flew up into the sky and was pulled with such velocity upward that I ended up in space staring down at the Earth. The overwhelm of it brought me back to my body.

5th – Went into trance state while walking on my treadmill and listening to Aboriginal music. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the exercise. Then my eyes went into REM followed by a bright, white light that took over my entire vision. I felt the familiar vibration that signaled I could leave my body. I almost did except I worried what would happen to my body since I was on the treadmill. So I stayed in body and played with the trance state some.

6th – Recognizing the conflict created by Ego resistance and the results: chaotic thoughts, distress, destructive tendencies, “soul split” can occur, confusion, disorientation, paranoia, feelings of insanity. One must choose Ego or the Higher Self. Recognition that one creates their own reality is inherent in this process.

20-30th – Went to U.K. Had several hypnosis sessions. I recalled a life as a Native American. There was a ghost in the house I stayed at that I had to deal with. I had several astral adventures but do not go into all of them. In one I went to San Francisco and another to my old high school.

August, 2005 – Mostly lucid dreams this month, family illness, personal upheaval, sister divorced, decisions on what to do, past issues came up.

21st – Guide encounter. Astral meeting. All senses were present. He spoke to me with accent and said his name was Rostan.

29th – Went to psychiatrist who said my OBEs were “psychotic episodes”. She quickly diagnosed me as Bipolar 2 and kept trying to get me to admit I was drinking alcohol and traumatized (which I wasn’t). She gave me an antipsychotic and antidepressant to take.

30-31st – Medicine is making me feel really off and dizzy. It makes me sleep so deep I don’t dream and makes me feel shaky all the time. I stopped taking it two days later.

September, 2005 Most of this month is lucid dream after lucid dream.

4th – Astral experience where the bed felt to be moving and I was pulled into pictures. When I would come back to my body it would happen again and again. I was also hit with intense energy sensations all over my body but mostly around third eye and top of head. Friend later told me this was kundalini.

October, 2005

11th – I wrote that my dreams have all been very sexual for the past month or so. I had an experience where while I was OOB I was hit with a strong energy in my root chakra. It shot up as if in a wide cylinder and moved up my center through my chakras. It expanded as it moved and filled me with such ecstasy that it brought me back to my body. It continued and I began to cry from the experience of it. It was orgasmic but in a different way and hard to explain.

22nd – I’ve been very depressed since the ecstasy experience. I had a guide encounter in astral. I heard his voice audibly. He gave me instructions on how to return to the “in-between” space where I can talk to him without interference. He said it was “a place where past, present and future existed at the same time”. I did as he instructed and went into the lives of other people (some in great detail). I couldn’t tell what time they were from but was told I would be taught how.

25th – I mention that I have had many astral experiences but they were mostly just me alone doing my thing, so I didn’t write about them. I mention a projection where I was being taught how to control astral better and manipulate it. I was taught how to travel using thought and practiced it and met up with others in astral and spoke with about 5 different people. One was a police officer and one told me, “That’s not allowed here” when I asked her name. It appeared that I was meeting people from present time but I didn’t know why.

Your-Higher-SelfNovember, 2005

3rd – Guide encounter in astral. He appeared to me as moving, brilliant light energy with a bluish hue. I heard him and he had an Australian accent. I saw him mostly as blue light though I could make out features. He moved like water. He told me, “I was your first birthday present”. He said much more to tell me as well but I did not write it all down.
The rest of the month was mainly lucid dreams.

December, 2005

4th – Astral 2 times. I met up with people, ate food and thought, “Wow, things even taste better in astral”. My vision blacked out a lot and I realized it happened anytime I resisted doing what my Higher Self wanted. When I was in black out my guide would remind me to stay focused and then I would return to astral.

13th – Astral. I was recognizing the right energy to exit my body. Was told to create whatever I wanted and I ended up standing next to huge, crystal clear ocean on the beach. I saw a peacock and scared it by accident. It ran into the water, almost drowning. I tried to save it but it made it more afraid. I finally let it alone and it came out of the water.

16th – Astral. Walked into several pictures. Finally, I walked into a picture of a lake. I ended up at a lake that was surrounded by a glass house. I went into the dark, cool water and felt huge relief.

22nd – Massive amount of energy descended on me from above. I was not asleep or meditating – I was wide awake! It filled my entire body and felt like a swarm of bees buzzing inside of me. I felt electric or as if I had been magnetized. I relaxed into it. Then the energy seemed to reach a state of equilibrium and my astral body exited out the top of my head. Yet the buzzing energy stayed with me even OOB. My astral body moved so rapidly I felt like I was on a roller coaster and it scared me a little. When I opened my eyes I was traveling very fast. Neon blue lines and shapes zipped past me at dizzying speeds. So I closed my eyes and continued with the energy. I change direction a few times. When I opened my eyes I was underneath my bed! I then went around my house in astral for a while, exploring, flying, etc.

28th – Astral. I flew over an ocean and saw tropical trees and beaches. I knew I was in Australia. I skimmed the top of the water until I got to the island. There I explored a boardwalk lined with stores. It felt familiar and I was happy to be back. I went into a shop and there, sitting all alone at a table, was my Dad. I was overjoyed! I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. We spoke at length about my sister. He warned me of tough times ahead for her and I recall seeing visions of her sleeping on a sofa and being depressed and sad. He told me I needed to help her. I remember thinking it odd that he came to me to talk to me about my sister but I accepted his visit gratefully.

Note: My sister went through a period of difficult times after this OBE that continues to this day.

Energy Storm

Yesterday all was quiet energy-wise. I awoke feeling refreshed albeit a little concerned about how completely normal my energy seemed compared to the last five days. When I inquired as to why the energy change my guide responded, “It is done”. I assumed that my kundalini rising was on hold for the time being and the thought even occurred to me that maybe I had been wrong and none of what I had experienced was kundalini to begin with.

As I settled in for bed last night I searched online for a book to read since I had finished my most recent book, Snooze: A Story of Awakening. (I highly recommend this book, BTW. It was an excellent read for those of you who like metaphysical fiction). I opted for a book by Becca Chopra called Chakra Secrets and settled down to read. I unexpectedly found myself thoroughly immersed in the book before I knew it and could not put it down.

There was a part of the book that made me cry. It was about 75% of the way through and it hit me suddenly and unexpectedly.  I won’t go into detail about the specifics except to say that it was a note of advice in the book about not allowing fear and other negative emotions to hold you back from living. As soon as I had allowed the emotion to flow out and recovered somewhat from the shock of such an outpouring of emotion I heard my guide say, “We will continue”. It was then that I understood his earlier statement to me of “It is done” to mean that whatever work had been done was done to facilitate that exact moment which was necessary in order for me to move forward. I then heard, “The only way out is through” and knew I had been correct in my conclusion.

Energy Storm

I fell asleep quite quickly after that and slept deeply and without much in the way of dreams. Sometime in the night I recall hearing thunder booming. It was so loud and powerful that it shook my bed and caused my energy to vibrate and move upward from my root to my crown. When this happened I saw in my mind’s eye my chakras light up one by one in brilliant color. With each thunderous bang, a chakra would light up and vibrate and I would see the chakra come into vivid color in the visual of my energy body that floated above my physical body in bed. It was quite confusing to me that I was watching my energy body above me rather than being in my energy body watching my sleeping form. It felt somehow off and I tried to consider what exactly was going on but could not, my mind was too foggy with sleep.

The energy and light show of my chakras went on for what seemed like forever and I recall wondering if the storm was really happening or if it was part of a vivid lucid dream. When I awoke I immediately remembered the experience and got up to check and see if there was evidence of a storm. When I looked out the window I was surprised to find that a storm must have occurred because the streets were soaked and all the leaves that had been in the driveway had been washed away. It is unusual for a thunderstorm to come at this time of year, so I had assumed it had all been a part of my dream/experience.

Message

I tried to return to sleep but could not. I badly wanted to go OOB but could not. I felt last week that I would not be going OOB while this process of kundalini was going on. I am not sure why but I secretly hoped I had been wrong in my interpretation of this information. So far it has proved true and I have been disappointed.

While I lay in bed hoping to fall asleep, I recalled a dream I had in the early morning hours right before I initially awoke. In the dream I was both the observer and the participant. As the participant, I took the form of a young boy who had superb mediumship abilities. He was able to allow Spirit to enter his body and come through him. He would feel their personality, their physical features from life and know all their memories. He then would pass on their messages while expressing their unique personality and body language through his own body. I recall being surprised in the dream of his abilities and speaking to someone about it.

When I remembered this dream I remembered my experience of my friend channeling my guide and also all the accounts I had heard about how others were able to channel Spirit. I had always aspired to this but had never been able to do it, the fear of the unknown always keeping me from letting go enough to allow Spirit to come through. I also recalled the knowingness I had after my 12/12 experience where I saw myself as a conduit for energy.

Then there were the memories of the previous night’s dreams. In the dreams I was being encouraged to revisit the spiritual path I had once abandoned. I abandoned it for many reasons but primarily because it had led me to what seemed to be a dead end and my life was feeling out of control and unbalanced. The dreams had bothered me all day, leading me to question why I was being asked to return to that path when I no longer enjoyed using my spiritual gifts. I was then answered with the thought that I needed to find enjoyment in life again (2nd chakra) and I had enjoyed using my abilities once. I had found them exciting and exhilarating and still, to this day, I have not found any experience that has given me the satisfaction that comes with a successful mediumship session. And I wondered, why was I now dreaming of channeling?

At this time I heard my guide say, “You can do that”.

I, of course, cannot imagine that it is possible. Not only had I never been able to channel in that way, I have not given a mediumship reading in so long that I cannot remember the last time. There is no evidence that I can still do anything with my gifts but my guide reminds me that they are still there and accessible anytime. But I feel so dead to them and to the idea of using them.

Overall, I am being pushed to change direction in my life, to go back to the spiritual path. I do not know what all this entails but I am being told it will begin in January next year. Does this mean Spirit will again start to bug me like they use to? Does it mean that I will connect with people without wanting to? Or does it simply mean that opportunities will begin to be presented to me to help me make the transition? I know I must trust that what needs to happen will happen. Like my guide told me in my dreams the night before last, “I will handle it”. Just because we cannot see how something can be possible, does not mean it isn’t. Anything is possible. We must remember we have limited sight, limited knowingnesd and trust our Higher Selves when we cannot see the path ahead.

Swaddled in Popcorn Clouds

I can’t sleep. I just had the most amazing experience and I will not be able to sleep until I write about it.

After this morning’s interesting OBE and messages, I went about the day floating about and feeling very happy. The entire time I kept the memory and questions about what happened at the back of my mind. I recognized this near bedtime but still kept the thoughts at bay.

Yoga and Meditation

I was instructed (am using this word as it is the only one that makes sense) to do yoga. I did Hatha yoga while my daughter played and my baby crawled about, sometimes on me. lol It did not bother me, I just enjoyed it and laughed while slowly going through the video routine and breathing deeply.

By bed time I felt the need to meditate. I was instructed to Om, so I did for quite a while. I also moved energy from my root up through my crown and then to the chakra above it. I counted as I went through each chakra, 1-8, and recognized that the 8th one was necessary. I felt my guide close the entire time.

I finally gave up on reaching any kind of meditative bliss, though I did feel calm and without thought. I laid on my right side and attempted sleep.

Dragon Girl

Soon I was dreaming. I was in a darkened theatre listening to a group of actors and actresses who were discussing the filming of a show. I was an actress, too, and knew this, but my focus was upon a small child who was with me. She was blonde and about 6 years old. I recognized her as my daughter but she was very dissimilar to my living daughter.

I was vaguely aware that the director was discussing my role in the “season” that was being filmed. He never mentioned me by name but they were all discussing my role as if I were not there, though I was. I was still focused upon the child who was putting on costumes and dancing about. She was beautiful and I was in awe of her.

I heard them all begin to discuss my access to the role I would be playing. Some were saying I could have no access to the script because I was not a full player in this “series” (it seemed like a television series but felt like the theatre). I recall that my role was being “rewritten” to include me coming into the life of a married man. I would not suspect this but it was being written. I could see the man out of the corner of my mind and there was a bit of sadness about my unexpected role.

I heard all of this but was not concerned. I was still engrossed in the little girl.

The director brought out the little girl dressed in a new costume. I was delighted! She was wearing a dragon costume that covered her entire body and even head. I could still see her face and she was so happy and wanted to show off for me. I watched as she jumped down into my arms, her little purple and green costume soft against my skin. I was extremely happy, happier than I believe I have ever felt in life. The joy poured out me as I hugged her close.

Hypnagogic Images With a Message

As I hugged the little girl against me it felt as if my entire head was swaddled in a soft, cottony pillow. It was white and I could see it but again I did not care or really focus upon it. I felt too good! Then the dream vanished and I was suddenly aware of a beautiful vision pouring into my line of sight. It felt as if I were floating still, my head swaddled and soft and buzzing with a soft energy. The vision clarified and in front of me were millions of tiny, white bubbles filled with rainbows of color, each spinning like prisms within prisms. The vision spread throughout my line of site until it hit the white, almost solid clouds that surrounded it, and me.

I instantly became aware of my body. It was stiff but completely solid. I also knew I was seeing hypnagogic images. Upon this realization my heart sank. Not in fear but in anticipation.

I heard a voice say, “Let go” and as I did, small letters took form upon the swirling, iridescent balls of color. Before they could completely form the word “Let” I knew what I was being told. Then in front of me more words began to form. They were jumbled but I heard a voice say, “What do you want?” and I immediately saw that the jumbled word was “Peace” and I responded, “Peace”. Then I wondered, “What do I do now?” and before my thought was finished I saw the word, “Listen” form in front of me in lavender letters. I listened, focusing on the swirling, beautiful clouds of color in front of me. It was the most spectacular thing I have ever seen! Overjoyed and excited, I continued to watch and waited, listening.

I never heard anything. Instead the stiffness in my body became overpowering as the vision before me faded. I knew/thought, “I will wake up”. A bit disappointed, I allowed it to happen.

Messages

I felt my head still swaddled in the white, puffy clouds. The energy there was so wonderful and relaxing. I just wanted to stay in it but I knew when I moved it would go away.

My guide was there. He asked, “How was it?

“Absolutely wonderful!” I mentally replied.

“There is more to come”

I was in awe. What do I say to that?

I continued to hear him and feel him all around me. I wondered, “Is this what it will be like (to merge)?”

He just said, “More is coming”.

Eventually I moved my body which felt stiff as if I had been in the same position for years. I stretched out on my stomach and thought about what I should do next. He said, “Write”.

I waited a while, still not wanting to leave my bed behind but the memory of what had happened was just too intense. So here I am, my body still jumping involuntarily from the energy that just swept through it. I feel as if I had just had the most awesome trip ever! I can still only think about the colors that surrounded me. All lavenders, pinks and other pastel colors of the rainbow. The soft, cushiony pillow that surrounded my head was so comforting. I felt safe and it reminded me of being a child in my mother’s arms. Oh how I wanted to stay forever. Is that what peace feels like?

Kundalini

What is Kundalini?

Kundalini is the power of the Divine located in each and every individual soul who incarnates into the physical.   Each of us possesses this Divine power within us, though most of us go through our lives without ever tapping into the limitlessness of our own Divinity.  Through our own Kundalini energy, we can experience pure Love, greater Knowledge, and increased intuition and connection to the universe.

Kundalini energy remains dormant for the most part.  Lying in wait until it is unleashed by a trigger or specific stimulus.  As I said earlier, not everyone will experience a release and rise of their Kundalini energy, but those who do are destined to do so in order to achieve a spiritual consciousness unique to their own spiritual journey.  The Soul chooses a specific event, time, place, emotional state, etc.  When the exact moment occurs and Kundalini begins to rise, the individual cannot ever return to their previous state.

The release of Kundalini energy can be triggered by meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, Reiki, healing and other spiritual exercises. When the Kundalini energy rises through the chakras, it can cause major change which can be problematic.

Kundalini Awakening

A Kundalini awakening is the rise of the Kundalini energy up through the seven major chakras starting with the root chakra.  This “awakening” may happen spontaneously to some while others may work years to unlock the power of their own Divinity on their own.  If you have begun to explore your own Spirituality,  then you need to be aware of Kundalini energy and the effects of  it.

Spontaneous awakening of Kundalini can be caused by many things.  Near death experiences, traumatic experiences, pain, deep sorrow, healing, intensive meditation and physical or mental illness can all bring about a Kundalini awakening.

Though the Kundalini awakening is considered a great prize by many seeking spiritual enlightenment, the process of Kundalini rising can cause many problems and setbacks for the individual.  When the dormant or potential aspect of the Kundalini arises, it means the transformation of individual consciousness into fully expanded Consciousness of the Divine. That process of transformation and purification is marked by both ecstasy and sublime experiences of the Divine, as well as by “dark nights” of the soul.  Kundalini awakening can create experiences that mimic psychiatric and somatic disorders such as schizophrenia, manic depression, and psychosis. Whether you are purposeful in awakening your Kundalini energy or not, the experience will change your life.

Typical Symptoms of a Kundalini Awakening

  • Burning hot or ice cold energy/sensations moving up the spine.
  • A feeling of air bubbles or snake movement up through the body.
  • Pains in varying locations throughout the body.
  • Tingling in the genital area, spine, or head.
  • Stiffness in the neck.
  • Pressure within the head (can be described as dull pain or heavy sensation).
  • Intense energy in legs and other parts of the body.
  • Fast pulse and increased metabolism.
  • Sensitivity to sound, light, smell, and people.
  • Orgasm sensations in different places in the body, or total body orgasms.
  • Mystical/religious experiences, revelations, and/or spiritual revelations.
  • Increase in psychic abilities.
  • Problems finding emotional balance (depression, mood swings, confusion, mania).
  • Anxiety or anxiety attacks, due to lack of understanding of what is going on.
  • Insomnia or sleeplessness.
  • Loss of concentration and memory.
  • Purposeful isolation because of confusion and lack of understanding.

Kundalini Meditation

If you feel you are ready to initiate a Kundalini awakening for yourself, then there is a simple process you can follow.  Before you decide to start this process, however, please remember that awakening your Kundalini energy will change you and you will never be able to return to the state you were in prior to the experience.  A Kundalini awakening will bring out all your long hidden issues from this life and from previous lives, it will awaken your Divine nature which may include the onset of psychic abilities you have yet to know of, it will be confusing and most likely lead you through a transformational process which many call “the dark night of the soul”.  Consider where you are in life, where you wish to be in life in your future, and whether you feel a “call” from inside you that says, “Yes I am ready”.  For those of you unsure as to whether you are ready, I recommend consulting someone who has been through a Kundalini awakening.  Discuss their experience and research all you can on the subject before making a decision.

When I say that initiating a Kundalini awakening within yourself is simple, I mean it.  All you have to do is follow some simple steps:

  1. While in a meditative state, let it be known to your guides and to the universe your intention.  State that you wish to awaken the Divine within yourself.
  1. Focus on your root chakra and imagine it flowing in a clockwise direction.
  1. Continue to state your intention. As you do so, increase the rotational frequency of your root chakra slowly until it is speeding too fast for you to follow it any longer.
  1. Firmly state your intention once more and end your meditation.

Once you have done this, you should not have to ask again.  Meditating regularly and practicing spiritual exercises that increase concentration and help you explore your own spirituality will help the process.  A Kundalini awakening is a process that can last years.  Make sure that you have a good support system while you are going through the process.  You will need the compassion and understanding of close friends and family to help you through the most intense parts of your transformation.

 

The Serpent is Rising

The following is a lucid dream I had this morning.

As I rode in a car along a road I did not recognized, we stopped alongside a cluster of mailboxes. I leaned out my window to open the mailbox and suddenly found myself standing alongside it outside of the car. I reached inside the mailbox and pulled out a golden necklace. Surprised, I peered inside and discovered a mass of jewelry. Excited, I pulled each piece out and inspected it. There were three necklaces, all very yellow gold with different pendants attached. I then saw a small bracelet made of silver links of chain. Attached was a small ballet slipper of blue that sparkled. There was another small slipper not attached and I made sure not to drop it.

After inspecting the jewelry I looked around, suddenly worried I would be caught with the jewelry. I worried about this only because 1. I was not sure whose mailbox this was and 2. the jewelry was not in a package but had been left inside in a cluster as if deposited in a hurry. I pocketed the jewelry and noticed a woman pull up in her car to retrieve her mail. I moved aside and let her.

Then I was laying in my bed seemingly wide awake. It was dark and I recognized that it was likely the very early hours of the morning. I decided I wanted to find my husband and cuddle and perhaps do more than that. The thought made me smile.

I went towards the bedroom and when I entered the living room the lights were on and my son was laying on the sofa watching T.V. There were also all kinds of objects that weren’t suppose to be there. The room appeared more like a mall or shopping area than my living room. The color of the scene was golden and shimmering.

I saw my son was eating candy out of a container shaped like an elephant. I asked him where he got it and he pointed to the kiosk nearby. It was closed but the candy shelves were exposed making the candy easy to take. I became full of anger towards my husband for allowing our son to be up so early, watch T.V. and eat candy. I changed my mind then and there about going to him. I was too angry. Yet I had this strong urge to move the energy of my root chakra which was suddenly feeling very alive and tingling. How would I do that now?

Then I saw a booth. A golden color shimmered around it. I went over to it. Inside there was a woman with long, blond hair. She sat behind a counter and smiled at me and told me, “I can help you”. I sat in front of her in a chair and we talked. She talked more than me, telling me about her job in the male-dominated steel industry. I commented that it must be nice and she nodded agreement. Then she touched my groin area with her foot and a spike of energy hit me all at once. It expanded and moved outward, engulfing my entire lower body with a warm energy. Then I felt it move upward. When it hit my second chakra I could feel it condense and ball up like a knot. It twisted and pain radiated into my lower spine.

The Serpent is Rising

The pain woke me up and I lay in a mixture of pleasure and pain as the energy continued to radiate outward around my lower body. I knew instantly what was happening. This was Kundalini energy. The serpent was rising. Unfortunately, my second chakra was too blocked to let the serpent through. I tried to will it to open and allow the energy to move up to my heart chakra. I knew when the energy hit my heart chakra I would be overcome with bliss and the thought of this excited me. But when I tried to open my second chakra the pain intensified. It felt as if something were squeezing my insides.

My guide intervened. “Not yet”, he whispered. I stopped and listened, remembering the last time I had experienced Kundalini. I wanted to feel it again. “It took 2 years last time” my guide stated matter-of-factually. “Oh,” I thought back to him. “How long will it take this time?”, I asked. But I had begun to drift back to sleep and my guide’s reply was lost. I only knew I needed not to force it; to let it take its time. Forcing it was not good. I somehow knew that it would not take as long this time. How long? I am not sure.

risingKundalini

Kundalini is described as a “sleeping, dormant potential force in the human organism”. The energy, also known as “the serpent”, is thought of as coiled up at the based of the spine. When the serpent awakens, it uncoils and the energy of it rises upward along the spine to the top of the head. It rises through each of the chakras, and as it reaches each chakra it is said to awaken different energies creating different awakenings, or spiritual experiences. When the serpent reaches the top of the head, or the crown chakra, it is said to create an extremely profound mystical experience described by some as infinite bliss.

The practices of yoga and meditation are said to awaken kundalini, but it can also be awakened by a guru. Sometimes kundalini is awakened by physical or psychological trauma and other times for no reason at all. Sometimes the individual is prepared for the kundalini and other times they are not. Those who are prepared, approach kundalini with pure surrender, which means no ego interference. Those who are unprepared may end up in a kundalini crisis.

Common symptoms of kundalini are:

  • Involuntary jerks, tremors, shaking, itching, tingling, and crawling sensations, especially in the arms and legs
  • Energy rushes or feelings of electricity circulating the body
  • Intense heat (sweating) or cold, especially as energy is experienced passing through the chakras
  • Visions or sounds at times associated with a particular chakra
  • Diminished or conversely extreme sexual desire sometimes leading to a state of constant or whole-body orgasm
  • Emotional upheavals or surfacing of unwanted and repressed feelings or thoughts with certain repressed emotions becoming dominant in the conscious mind for short or long periods of time.
  • Headache, migraine, or pressure inside the skull
  • Increased blood pressure and irregular heartbeat
  • Emotional numbness
  • Antisocial tendencies
  • Mood swings with periods of depression or mania
  • Pains in different areas of the body, especially back and neck
  • Sensitivity to light, sound, and touch
  • Trance-like and altered states of consciousness
  • Disrupted sleep pattern (periods of insomnia or oversleeping)
  • Loss of appetite or overeating
  • Bliss, feelings of infinite love and universal connectivity, transcendent awareness *reference

Round Two

I have experienced almost all of the above symptoms before, years ago, and it resulted in a “dark night of the soul” and some very intensely negative times for me. I emerged without incident, a more balanced person, just in time to meet my husband and start my family. In that time, the serpent retreated and went dormant. I knew this would happen, I just didn’t think of it in terms of kundalini. I just knew that for a while I would focus upon family. You see, I just now realize that spiritual awakening and kundalini are one in the same. At least they were for me.

And now it is happening again. The serpent is no longer dormant. There is lots of work to be done. Healing. Purging. A second awakening. I have experienced almost all of the above symptoms; still am. It started some time ago, though it was not as intense as it is now. I am now mentally kicking myself for not taking better care of myself spiritually over the last seven years. So much of what I am going through now could have been avoided. But, I cannot dwell on should have’s. What is done is done. At least this time I know what to expect and understand more as to why it is happening.