Category Archives: Messages

by

Requisite Breaks Limited and Brief

I have been receiving many messages over the last week, all of which came so quickly and intensely that it has taken me this long to sort them out. All originated from my contact with Fleet and thus with Sananda himself.

  • Requisite breaks will be limited and brief. Take your rest when you can get it. Intensity will increase as the energy fluctuations regulate.
  • No rest for the weary. Those of you who are on this crazy roller coaster with me, the energy will continue to intensify up and through June. There is some kind of disturbance in the energy field of Earth; the grid is experiencing upheavals in certain areas. I specifically see the Middle East and Asia as areas of intense conversion right now. Many Gridworkers are spending much of their nights anchoring and stabilizing the energy in their assigned zones while others are being reassigned and liberated.
  • There will be limited periods of relief which may physically manifest in illness, melancholy, confusion, listlessness, lethargy and other ailments. Provide yourself with what you need when you need it.
  • Unification is another topic that I hear frequently. Unification of masculine and feminine and the lighting of the Divine Spark within. This was initiated when beacons were lit in December. The First Wave was called forward into action and the second entered an initiation stage.
  • There is currently an acceleration towards one’s intended path and the movement toward a coalescing of familial/soul groups. Instructions have been given though not all have accessed it at the human consciousness level at this time. Those of us who have consciously received are being allowed time to process and acclimate to their new path. This is individual and should not be rushed.
  • The tumbling forward motion that is the catalyst for accelerating frequencies and movement onto assigned paths is requisitioned by Earth herself. One does not make progress without the other. The signs are available to you if you should look.
  • Followers will seek and find. It is your purpose to make yourself accessible to them but to not allow them to become dependent upon your assistance. They must stand in their own power.
  • Step into your power; into your Truth. Remembrance brings understanding and Purpose.
by

Dream: Emaciated Horse

I was warned yesterday that I would get a headache and it was implied that it would be related to being too much in my mind. Well, the headache came last night and continues this morning. I have been instructed to focus on my heart to relieve the pain. When I do this, the headache intensity decreases to almost nonexistent. How curious that my headache would be connected to too much mental focus!

Dream: Emaciated Horse

My sleep was active. I have many, many conversations and dreams throughout the night. In this particular one I spent the majority of the dream reliving the 12 years I spent with my dog, Trooper. While reliving it I was discussing with my Companion the pros and cons of having a pet. He was also trying to get me to consider getting another pet.

In the dream I was presented with puppies to adopt. I saw picture after picture placed in front of me. They were so cute and I wanted one really badly but kept turning them down. At one point I was shown a very emaciated horse that was being harassed by a German Shepherd. The horse was near death and kept falling and the dog would go right for its head. I felt sorry for the horse and said, “Why doesn’t someone kill that dog!”

I woke up at 2am from this dream crying. I still don’t get how I can grieve more for my pet than a person! It has been almost 3 years since I had to put Trooper down and I still miss him.

Additionally it seems the dream communicated that I am slowly killing the horse in me. Horses symbolize freedom and love of life. The emaciated horse is quite vivid in my mind still. Very sad to think I have done this to myself. Dogs are protectors but if seen attacking or growling they can indicate an inner conflict.

Dream: Lockers 42 and 95

In this dream I left home to go grocery shopping. I recall being very happy about this and heading toward a road in the country. When I arrived, I parked and walked down a sidewalk that went through tall pine trees and past several office buildings. There I encountered a friend from school who I knew from 5th – 12th grade. I said hi to her but she appeared completely drunk and was talking to herself. I remember acknowledging this and moving on but feeling sorry for her.

Then I was talking to a woman who looked just like me. We were standing by some lockers and I was keying in the combinations. She said she could not remember the combinations and I told her I would write them down for her. I wrote on a paper numbers 42 and 95. I opened both of them to show her how and then took a pair of shoes out of locker 95.

Messages

When I woke this time my head was pounding and I was told to focus on my heart. When I did the pain numbed but was still there. I then had an experience that I have not had since I awakened in 2003.

When I first opened up to my gifts I had incidences where there would be on-going conversations that would just be in my head. Multiple individuals talking about random things, sometimes they would talk to me and try and get me to pass on messages and other times they would just be so loud that I would yell at them to be quiet. This is what happened this morning. It can make even the sanest person feel insane. Thankfully I have dealt with it before and so knew how to shut it off. This time I just went into my heart space and it stopped but the experience was unsettling because I recognized my other self participating in these conversations. Very weird!

I asked my Companion what was happening. Why did I have this awful headache? Why was I receiving all this random communication? And why was I recognizing myself included in and responding to these communications?

I was told the headaches were part of the adjustments and they were working on it but that I needed to stay centered in the heart. As for the strange and seemingly random conversations I was told the veil is very thin now. I was also told there is a comet passing by whose tail is interacting with the Earth. In researching this I found that Comet Catalina is passing by Earth and will be closest on the 17th.

There was also again a message to stop resisting what was happening and will happen in my life. I was encouraged to let go and allow. This was easiest when in my heart space, of course.

 

by

The Pleiadian Conglomerate

I returned from a two-day family trip yesterday afternoon completely exhausted. As I suspected would happen, I was unable to sleep well in the hotel room. I am very sensitive to others’ energies when I sleep but I also experienced intense, high pitched ear ringing, a pounding heart and hot flashes that kept me awake most of the night.

So it was no surprise that I completely crashed last night. I slept so hard that when I woke at 5am I was still in the exact same position I had fallen asleep in! I hadn’t moved at all in the night. This is very out of character for me!

What is even stranger is that when I woke up I felt different – like not myself. I knew things, felt things, had a different sense of myself than I had prior to bed.

And I was not alone.

The Pleiadian Conglomerate 

The first thing I Remembered was a visiual of Earth from outer space. There was amassed just above Earth a group of spacecraft numbering 20. What is odd about the spacecraft is that though there were 20 separate craft they appeared as if blurred together, almost cloud-like except that I could see distinctly the edges of separate, silver discs amidst the conglomerate.

I knew these were the Pleiadians – the group from which I am seeded. I also knew there were other E.T. species with them – Andromedans most predominantly.

As I absorbed all this, there came from my left a representative of this conglomerate. I did not see him, but I recognized his energy. He brought with him a trigger of my memories. Like his presence triggered something in me. I knew this as well – I Remembered this.

I did not ask his name but instead just allowed myself to Receive. The group, which is also my group, that he came with he refers to as “The Many” and I understand to be composed of many races of E.T. lifeforms and multi-dimensional beings.

I want to also point out that the representative came to me from my left (his right) which is the area reserved for Spirit when I do mediumship readings. My Companion traditionally stays to my right and will move farther from me when communication via Spirit is initiated.

This representative has a very large energy and speaks for the others with him. He explained that he wanted me to transmit messages and reminded me of my agreement to be open to being a medium again. I have been visited by him before. In fact, he has visited several times since I agreed to be open to mediumship, I just didn’t know how to write about it until now as his energy is so big and what he says is so profound that I have been promptly pretending he never visited.

I heard from him the name ” I am the Lord and Commander Sananda”. I rejected this, of course, since this name is so frequently used by channels and I do not want such bias involved in my interactions with this entity.

Messages

#1 – “Your energy is anchored”.

#2 – “We are at war”. It was explained to me that there has been a “war” on-going pertaining to Earth. It is not a war in the traditional sense – there is no blood and death as those engage in this war are not limited to the physical. I was told the war has to do with humanity. I Remembered this as well, it was like an “ah-ha” moment. I was told as a result of the opposition, We have not been able to fully utilize the human body. I saw how We are unable to fully come into the body as We are meant to. The DNA structure is incomplete, broken, so we have no access. This is being corrected. Access is now being granted, at least in my case this is true. It is also for some others but is not wide-spread at this time.

#3 – I Remembered a great Light coming toward Earth and then wrapping itself around Earth like a swaddling blanket.

#4 – We are Soldiers of Light, Light Warriors, etc. In this memory I Remembered how I personally had prepared for this job.

#5 – More and more of my other aspects are being integrated now. This is why I feel different in the morning, why I felt so utterly changed when I woke up. I saw it was 50% complete. I feel my Braid-in very distinctly and when I woke up I was him more than me.

#6 – I saw a visual of packed bags sitting by the door. I knew this to mean movement was coming for me. We must move, We must unite with our individual Teams. So again I get this message.

There is so much more that I cannot say at this time. Even if I wanted to, it has been erased for the time being. It is so very odd! I don’t feel like myself. I feel strange but it is not a bad strange.

Just pinch me now so I can wake up.

by

Message: Groundbreaking Has Begun

Groundbreaking has begun. Initiates gather to mark the beginning of a new era of Hue-manity.

Light Beacons are anchored. New initiates recognize their roles in ever increasing numbers. Memory codes are activated and released. DNA matriculation has been instituted.

The Time is critical. A pinnacle moment has been reached. After-effects are felt and disseminated.

by

Synchronicity in a Song

I have family visiting again. After a huge chaotic breakfast everyone left for yet another Christmas gift exchange – the 4th! I opted out. I was the only one. I am sure I will get chastised for it later. I don’t care.

Since I have once again been sloth-like and unmotivated, I decided to go to the gym and try to wake up my body. When I turned on the car a familiar song began to play. Some Nights by Fun. I had major deja vu and remembered the last time I had been in the car I had turned it off in the middle of this song…..at the exact point it was playing now. When I looked up at the clock it was 11:11am.

The Backstory

Just this past Wednesday, when I returned from the gym, I was feeling very high on life and sat in the car listening to music for a while after I arrived home. The song that actually kept me in the car was Heaven is a Place on Earth, a song I woke up hearing this morning and one I just recently posted.  When I heard the song that day I was so thrilled to hear it that I sang the whole thing through. I hadn’t heard it in ages yet I remembered every word. Hahaha!

After the song ended, Some Nights came on. Like I said, it is not really a song I like, but that day I decided to listen to it about halfway through and then shut off the car and went about my day.

So this morning, when Some Nights came on in the exact place I had turned it off a few days before and the clock said 11:11 I just kinda sat there with my mouth open. For a brief moment I wondered if I had even lived the past few days….lol Crazy time hiccup!

It seems like the message is, “Okay. Continue”. Like maybe I had been frozen in time these last few days, or maybe these last two weeks, and now I can move again, live again, be me again.

by

Message: Let Go of All Attachments

E’Fonin is back along with 9 others – my Team and my Council; The Many.

He never really left, of course.

2:30am

I had a dream in which I was fixing what looked like a dishwasher but then it seemed to turn into a very large window. I refused my husband’s help saying, “I can do this on my own”. I woke up.

I was pleased with myself for standing on my own two feet but there was a resistance to what I have been asked to do. I felt my Team present, but at this time had not singled out E’Fonin. I questioned them about what was happening to me – why did I seem to have so much clarity and resolve about my purpose and then fall back into self-doubt and resistance?

With the question my heart chakra pulled intensely and I could not help but be pulled into it. From this standpoint all doubt and resistance was erased. Immediately. The sensation of the heart had been unnoticeable until this point and then it felt like a metal rod of energy was shoved into the center of it. I couldn’t help but gasp for air from the intensity of it.

Message: Let Go of All Attachments

Once I recognized my question had been answered (remain in the heart) my Team proceeded to speak with me about attachments.

We are being asked to let go of all attachments. This is not limited to relationships but includes all earthly attachment from material possessions to attachments to the physical body.

We must drop them. All of them.

When I questioned why, I was shown how attachment = fear. It arises from fear. Fear of loss. Fear of the unknown. Ego-driven fear.

Attachments have been encouraged and reinforced by society.

I argued for attachment, pointing out that attachment to one’s children ensures the child’s safety and survival.

I was quickly shown this was an illusion. Even the attachment, the bond, between mother and child is riddled with fear, the main one being that the mother will lose the child.

People stay in relationships; cling to family, material possessions, people, situations, physical bodies, because of attachment. Attachment causes much suffering, propels us into moral dilemmas and keeps our vibration low. It fastens us to 3D. It is the foundation of karma.

Love is not attachment, yet here I was being shown how deeply entangled the two concepts have become even in my own mind.

Embody Love

In order to embody love we must forgo attachments. This does not mean we do not love, it means that we love enough to recognize the big picture; to step away and see the path of All which ultimately converges back into One.

I asked if it meant we no longer have relationships, specifically romantic ones. I could not see how not to become attached.

It was explained that we habitually fall into Ego which triggers forgetfulness and incites fear. We think, “I love him/her. I want them to stay with me always”. We forget they are with us always and have always been. Instead, we become concerned that they will leave us. We remember past physical lives, we become clouded and then we resist the potential of a timeline without them. This traps us into the karmic cycle. This perpetuates fear. This is not love. It is illusion. It is attachment.

If we remain in the heart we will find that we have always been and always will be connected to those we love and to all the potential for love that exists. There is no loss of this love. Ever.

I then understood what it is to embody love. It is to fully live from the heart.

hinduism-philosophy-god5D is Here, Right Now

5D is here. It always has been. We just have not been able to access it. We couldn’t see it. Our hearts have been closed. Our minds have been fooled. We have been trapped in illusion. I have been trapped in illusion.

My movement into 5D continues rapidly. I am accessing alternate timelines; “jumping” timelines. My DNA is becoming crystalline. I am shifting fully into the heart. Once there, I will be in 5D all the time. But what is crazy is that 3D will still be there. It is like they are superimposed. I saw the Earth as two; one 5D and one 3D. They are superimposed but most of us live in the one that is 3D. I am shifting to the 5D along with many others. Once we are there we will stay permanently. Yet I see that I will still have access to 3D. I asked, “What will happen to me? Will I disappear?” I was told, “Does it matter?”

No More Astral

Believe it or not, I was/am not overwhelmed by any of this. Somehow the conversation shifted into a discussion about my astral travels. Why have I stopped? Why can’t I project?

I was told the astral realms are connected to 3D. They are an extension of the illusion beyond the physical 3D reality. From there you can manifest much faster but it is still limited to the rules and restrictions of 3D. My travels are beyond the astral now. It is hard to explain because as I was shown it, the astral realms extend past Earth in layers, like an onion. Where I am traveling is beyond these layers and outside of them. Another dimension altogether.

I asked if I was ever going to get to project and was told I could as a means of rest, like a vacation, but the astral no longer serves the purpose it once did for me. My travels are inter-dimensional now, though I do not recall them yet. I am told my physical vessel is undergoing adjustments still and to be patient.

I was shown a Venn diagram. I have seen this previously, in 2003. One side is the human consciousness and the other is the subconscious. These two sides will eventually merge completely, becoming one. I can’t imagine how this will manifest, but this is what 5D looks like.

Acceleration is Imminent

I am told the incidences of heart chakra intensity will continue. This is when I recognized E’Fonin because I felt him “turn on” my heart connection. It was similar to flipping a switch. One minute it was a slow, steady warm energy, the next it was like a lightening bolt trigger that sent my heart into another gear and kept it there. When the switch was turned on, a part of my mind shut off. I separate from my earthly attachments. It is strange and a bit uncomfortable but the heart connection is so intense that I do not resist.

My mind wants to convince me that this heart connection is a trap, a device to “control” me. But when the thought comes my heart overrides it with a knowing that this is different. It is similar to the magnetic pull of a compass to true north. The pull is so intensely strong that it can easily be confused for some kind of possession or manipulation by an outside force. In fact, this consideration has come several times. Maybe I am being possessed by Team Dark? Maybe this intense compulsion is some kind of ET control mechanism they are using to manipulate Earth to their will?

When I think this way I hear, “What does your heart tell you?” And I always laugh at the absurdity of all of it.

This heart connection is going to increase beyond measure. It will be my compass. I will live through my heart. I cannot do anything to stop it, either. My path is set. Talk about Ego-trigger. hehe

 

 

 

 

 

by

Energy Surges

Happy 2016 everyone!

I had a busy night last night welcoming in the new year. Although I stayed home and was in bed by 10pm, energetically and spiritually I was a busy woman.

Energy Surges

After I fell to sleep, I recall being bombarded by energy surges to my heart chakra. I knew what was going on while it was occurring, but all that remained was an odd memory of being zapped and talking with someone. I awoke at 10:30 and 12:30pm because of the zaps of energy. Both times that I woke I was extremely thirsty and felt completely exhausted and wiped out, so I didn’t really care to ask what was going on.

4:30 Briefing

I was awakened at 4:30am with tears in my eyes, but I did not know why I was crying. I was also starving and very, very thirsty. As I tried to remember what had happened, I recovered memory of being on board a silver craft of some sort that was hovering mid-air. I recalled very briefly a dream of being inside a silver helicopter, but I knew instantly this was how my human mind was trying to make sense of where I had been. The helicopter opened up from its center and I knew I had transferred from one craft to another. Unfortunately, that is all the memory I retained.

For a brief time I was upset that my memories were being wiped again but with that upset came an intense calm from my heart and a knowing that I was focusing on the wrong thing. An overwhelming amount of calm hit me then and I no longer cared what I had dreamed about. I just knew I would remember what I was meant to, when I was meant to.

Messages

Once fully awake I had a guide I did not initially recognize to my left. I asked who he was and felt he was the one who I call The Dr. This confirmed what I knew had been occurring throughout the night – I had been receiving major healing and adjustment and it seemed the focus was mostly to my heart. I commented, “How much more is there to clear!?” It just seems like the healing to my heart never stops! I was told then, “All wounds heal with time”.

I was then shown an image of the final result the healing and adjustment. I saw golden energy in human form. I was told, “This is you”. Then, I saw a light shoot up through the middle, starting at the feet. As it moved up the energy appeared to grow in size and intensity. When it got to the crown it exploded out in a cascading golden waterfall of energy. I asked what it meant and I was told, “You will continuously be connected to Source”. I asked what that meant and was told, “It is so you can do your work”.

I managed to fall back to sleep and when I woke up an hour later I had memory of something else. I had been talking to The Dr. and he had put both my hands into a cup full of crystals. I could feel the round, smooth cool crystals on my hands. What was interesting is that they were immersed in some kind of gel, a conductor of some sort. How I know this, I am not sure. I asked what had been happening was was told, “It clarifies thought”. I also knew this had been what I was doing on board the silver craft.

What is very cool about all this is that when I woke I knew exactly what I was suppose to do. Not only did I know what I was suppose to do, but I had memories of a review of not only this life but several past lives. The purpose of which was to alert me to a karmic pattern that I could break in this lifetime.

Changes

My Team has also been congratulating me on my progress. This often comes with a question, “Don’t you see how far you’ve come?” or “Do you see how much you’ve changed?” I have been overwhelmed by the intense energy and the holidays so I have not really thought about their questions. However, this morning I am acutely aware of how much I have changed. What I think is the most noticeable is how connected I feel to my purpose and my guidance. I am notorious for flat-out ignoring my intuition. Now it seems my intuition is unavoidable. It seems to almost shout at me and what is bizarre is that I listen and if I don’t listen I am easily swayed. It’s the heart connection. It is like a mind-wiping, beautiful, loving and comforting hug that says, “Remember”. Though my heart is far from being my primary compass, it is quickly shifting in that direction. I am feeling an intense pull to change. It is almost compulsory in intensity and it is coming directly from my heart center. And I know it is only going to intensify.

by

Message: Be the Hummingbird

I took the advice given by many of you and focused on taking care of myself and this crazy energy last night. First, I ate a big meal. I immediately felt better. Then I took a hot bath with essential oils – 8 drops of lavender and 2 of Roman Chamomile. I also played music, specifically by Rising Appalachia (thank you KLeigh!). I was in one of my high’s before long and didn’t even mind when all three of my children crawled into the bathtub with me and began splashing.

Afterward I began to lose the high and fall into the exhaustion, but I let it happen and did not resist. My Team has been very close and the message I keep getting is to let go and allow. I went ahead and had some wine and watched some T.V. The whole time I had strange energy sensations all over my body and kept receiving high heart hugs from my Companion. Wonderful and calming. I also, for the first time since these energies began wracking my body, I had a rising of desire from the lower chakras. I pushed it down but it made me smile. I think my blockages are clearing.

I slept very, very well.

Dreams

I almost felt normal before , of course, I began to think that everything that happened to me these last 10 days or so was not real, not true, and I could be normal and move on with my life as planned. This thought was immediately interrupted with a knowing that I knew better than that. Then everything flooded back in and my body was covered in another energy hug. I was told, “You will rest tomorrow and we will talk tonight”. I recognized the energies of my Council of 12 and knew we would talk about contracts. Something felt final about it and I asked, “We are finalizing the contract?” I received confirmation but I joked and said, “Nothing is ever ‘final'” and reminded him of my ambivalence. Instead of humor I received a more serious energy from him. That shut me up and I went to sleep.

Teaching Developmentally Delayed Adults

The first vivid dream I recall is actively teaching adults who were most obviously developmentally delayed. We were doing language and vocabulary activities and I soon realized they were all at very different levels. Some were already able to spell while others couldn’t. I remember directing them to use block letters to spell out an answer to a question. It was like they were toddlers in preschool but some of these individuals were older than me!

I woke momentarily and knew this dream was representative of the various levels of consciousness of those on Earth. It was a bit disturbing to think that so many of us are at the spiritual toddler stage!

Be the Hummingbird

I had an entire dream where I was learning to be the hummingbird. This is symbolic of my mission here. I am being asked to fulfill my mission.

Bus Turned Trailer

Another vivid dream was of my husband and family. I was walking down a dirt road in the country. Tall, green trees and lush grass were all around and the dirt was that orange-red color I remember from my childhood days in east Texas. I looked up and saw my husband towing a white trailer behind him. He was not in a car and the trailer was one that should have been hitched to at ruck. I said to him, “Where’s your bus? Is it broken?” He just turned, smiled and waved at me and continued on. I knew he had our children in the trailer, but I kept going in the opposite direction

This dream woke me up with a start. I knew the symbolism right away. The loss of the bus is significant. Being on a bus or some other form of public transportation is representative of one’s family or group dynamic. In this dream the bus was broken and replaced by a trailer. In recognizing this I saw that a message I have been receiving was coming out in my dreams. My husband and family are moving in the opposite direction from me.

spiderweb-2

Messages 

The amount of information coming to me now is extremely high. I have been processing it for some time now. This partly because I am struggling to accept it and partly because I don’t know how to impart it.

Message 1: My mission is to embody the light; to be a beacon of light as well as to ground and anchor the new energies. I am also to activate others and act as a guide. I work with energies in many ways, more than I am aware of in this Earth consciousness.

Message 2: I am being asked to embody the light now. To do this I must drop relationships and connections that do not harmonize with my own frequency. If I am unhappy, depressed, angry, etc then I am not embodying the Light and so not fulfilling my role here. I have to “step up” now. Others are also receiving this message.

Message 3:  When I hit the age of 40 next year things are really going to shift to a higher level of intensity. I have already been warned of this as it will start next summer right before my birthday to prepare me. I am told 40 is a significant age for more than just me. It has to do with spiritual maturity and ability to hold more Light.

Message 4: I was greeted this morning by Eric who is a member of our ground crew. He is living presently in a physical body like me. He showed me a web, like a spider web. In the center the fibers of the web are very close and they get farther apart as it expands. He explained that the web is being extended now. With this explanation I was told that some members of this web are interconnected with me at a very, very deep level. These are the ones in the center. Others a less so and as the web extends outward even less so. Those most connected to me, those with me in the center, are extremely spiritually intense connections.  The others are less intense and more casual relationships. Our strength comes via these connections. The web grows stronger with each connection.

We are building the web now. The center is first and the most important. We will gather on a spiritual level first but eventually in the physical as well. I see large areas of light across the U.S. These epicenters of Light are crucial.

Message 5: I again saw my Companion as non-human in form. Those who read my previous description say he is Arcturian, but I identify him by his energy, not his appearance.

This time I was accepting of his appearance. He is beautiful beyond description! In accepting him, I accepted myself. I looked down at my hand and saw a non-human hand. Three long, thin, blue fingers and one thumb with over sized fingertips. I laughed because I was immediately reminded of a frog. Also with this acceptance I began again to think in terms of We. I have done this before but it had stopped.

We have many names. We take many forms. We are the Many. 

Elohim.

Day of Rest

When I awoke this morning my husband and three children were gone. They are on a camping trip and won’t be back until tomorrow evening most likely.

Day of rest indeed! 🙂

 

 

 

 

by

Dreams: Missed Test and Egg Within an Egg

Yesterday turned out to be a very strange day. After the panic-inducing heart chakra intensity, I was hit with nausea and total exhaustion. I also had a strange sensation around my head that felt similar to my crown being very wide open except that there were vibrations with it. For a brief moment I thought I would spontaneously leave my body. So I waited it out – the nausea, dizziness, vibrations, and strange “off” feeling eventually settling. When it did settle, my heart chakra fire was completely gone and I felt a sudden sadness descend upon me.

My heart felt like an empty pit. No matter how much I focused on it, it remained unresponsive. However, it did not feel normal. It felt hollow, like someone had come and suffocated my heart center or tried to cover the energy with a blanket. I guess it could also be related to someone throwing water on a blazing fire.

The sadness soon turned into despair over my current situation. For some reason everything that was wrong with my life, specifically my family situation, was uncomfortably obvious. My Companion would not leave me alone about it, either, and I was not liking the questions he was asking me. I have often described my Companion as being my own personal shrink, one that there is no escaping. Sometime his persistent questions and nudging can be excruciatingly annoying. Like a personal hell. This was the case last night.

Dream: Missed Test

I had a dream that woke me at 3am. In the dream I was in a car with someone discussing school. I could see that we were traveling down a street with golden colored buildings that resembled a college campus except the buildings were smaller, more like houses. We stopped at a mailbox while the man informed me of my current progress towards my degree. He mentioned that I had been lax in my studies and had been skipping classes. There were only two more classes until I finished.

A large, gray mailbox was opened. Inside were 8 smaller mailboxes. These were the mailboxes of the students in my class. Inside each mailbox were 8 cards. On the envelopes were congratulatory messages and I knew that the comments inside the cards related to a successful score on a recent test.

I had forgotten about the test and this was the main reason I was with the man discussing my progress. The test was on the 24th and my score was not among the mailboxes because I had missed the test. I felt that I had failed it but the feeling I got was that I could still make it up.

When I awoke I was protesting. To make a long story short, I am being asked to let go of situations and relationships in my life that are not complimentary to my mission. My human mind perceives this as a threat and is reacting accordingly. I am completely refusing to do anything I am being asked to do because to do so means a complete disruption of my life. In essence, it means a complete new start. How can they ask me to do something like that? It is horrifying! This is the test I missed. I know now why I missed it. I will no doubt fail it miserably.

Dream: Egg Within an Egg

I somehow fell back to sleep. This time I was with two men and they were talking about time travel. Dr. Who was mentioned but not present. When Dr. Who is in my dream it usually indicates I am receiving healing.

The two men were discussing how to use a clothes dryer as a portal to another time. I saw the open dryer, the light very bright, but did not want to go inside. I never did go inside.

It was then that someone took me to the side and showed me a very, very large egg. It was the size of a person. It was cracked open and inside was the yolk of a normal sized egg. It was an egg within an egg. I was asked to look at it. The golden yolk was the last thing I remember before waking.

When I woke I had a very long talk with my Companion. And I continued to reject what I am suppose to do. I got very sad again and he again pointed it out to me by saying, “You are sad. You are lonely. You don’t have to be this way”. While we were talking about the upset this change would cause to my life he showed me an onion and I watched as layers and layers were being removed by some unseen person. He said to me, “Sometimes even the onion cries”.

Heart Hurt

This morning the heart energy is back but this time it seems to hurt. There is an extreme loss feeling with it but it is again wide open. My lower back hurts and I am restless again. I don’t want to be in my own home. I have an urge to go on a long vacation – alone. We have a family trip in January and I want to cancel it or find a way out, even though I am the one who planned it.  I don’t understand why I feel like this. I love my family.

 

by

Dream: Two is Better Than One

I’ve been struggling with the shifting energy and my own energy lately. I seem to fluctuate between very high high’s and zombie-dead lows. It is like I have this immense amount of energy pouring through me during the highs. But during the lows I feel exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically.

With these fluctuations comes solar plexus and sacral plexus discomfort. For three days now I am hit mid-afternoon with discomfort. It is not horrible or anything but makes me think I have an intestinal flu. Sometimes I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. This is the solar plexus pain. The sacral plexus pain feels akin to menstrual cramps except at the wrong time of the month.

I am also struggling to sleep and when I do sleep I don’t feel rested. Even so, I wake up extremely alert and with high energy.

Through all this is the continual heart chakra fire that ebbs and flows.

Today, Christmas, has been the most energetically draining day I have had in a very long time. I think the full moon, the current energies and the intense experience I am having combined to create a very unique circumstance for me. I am completely drained.

I am ashamed to say that I am seeking out alcohol more this week than I have in a long time. I am not a drinker. I hate getting drunk. Hate beer. Hate hard liquor even more. But three times now this week I have had a drink….or two. It doesn’t help, I know. There is a little voice saying, “Be a good girl. This will only slow the process”. I roll my eyes and say something not so nice in return and pour myself a drink.

And please all pretend you don’t hear this – the cigarettes keep coming out, too.

I totally don’t give a rat’s a$$ at the moment so when I get my head on straight later you can all remind me of how stupid I was being. K?

Anyway, I was getting to a dream wasn’t I? (No I’ve not had a drink today)

Dream: Two is Better Than One

I was in a church with unfamiliar people who I associated with as “family”. I don’t remember what they looked like. At the time in the dream I was trying to get away; escape them and this suffocating feeling that came with being around them. I found the bathroom and saw two little girls were already in it. They were twins I think but I mostly focused on the one girl. I saw that the toilet was really low, like for a child. I said something to the effect of, “I hope I can get up from such a low seat”.

I turned to the door to check that it was locked and tried to turn off the light. It was a strange knob instead of a switch and when I turned it a loud grumbling ensued. I jumped from the sound and quickly switched it back off. I saw then that I had turned on the heater and I felt a rush of very hot air hit me. I didn’t want the heat on.

Then I turned back to the toilet and sat down but I didn’t use it. The one little girl came up next to me and pulled down two toilet seats from the wall. It was like they had been hidden there. She sat on one and pointed to the toilet seat that was touching the one she was sitting on. I was confused. Why would anyone want to use the toilet that close to another person? I questioned her on this. She said to me, “We do everything together. Two is better than one”. I remember thinking that using the bathroom was a private thing and being very uncomfortable with the thought of sharing it with anyone. Yet I felt comfortable with the little girl as she sat right next to me.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream is about healing. In fact, I know it is. Toilets and bathrooms are all about cleansing and emotion. You can tell a lot from the state of the toilets and bathrooms in your dreams. If clean, this is a good sign as your emotions are not muddled. The dirtier the more muddled or confused. Toilets themselves are about releasing emotions and things in your life that are no longer useful. Flush away the old to make way for the new.

I find the part where I accidentally turned on the heat the most interesting. It not only scared me but I promptly turned it off and didn’t want it on. Heaters in a dream can signify that one is opening themselves up to loving and being loved. Heat equals emotion or the flow of feeling. In some cases this feeling can also be desire.

Finally there is the message and the fact that there are twin girls in the bathroom when I go inside. I understood the message to mean whatever this healing journey is that I am on, I am not suppose to go through it alone. Two is better than one this time.

Silver Lining

I wanted to end with something funny since my sense of humor has been off the charts since all the heart fire began. I just break out into giggles for no reason and even when feeling drained like now I find my humor is high. Thank goodness for silver linings.

Oh and I got a turtle pendant for Christmas from my husband. Just makes this more funny now. 🙂

comic