Category Archives: Messages

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Hatching

As I settled down to sleep last night, I felt the familiar presence of my Companion signaling he wanted to communicate a message to me.

I felt I should lay on my back and focus on my third eye, so I did. Immediately my third eye began to pull as the energy increased. Then, an image popped into my head of my aura as it pulsated around my physical body. It was a deep indigo color and I could see it fluidly moving all around me. I laughed out loud at the sight of it. “I’m Indigo!” I said to him mentally.

I continued to lay there, feeling my third eye pulling and sensing the movement of energy throughout and around my body. It was then that another image popped into my head. It was of a newly hatched baby chick. At the same time I heard my Companion say, “We are merged. We are One”.

As the messages settled in, I wondered why I was shown a newly hatched chick when before I had been given the analogy of a butterfly in a cocoon. Why would I be shown a chicken now?

This question was not answered but instead I heard, “We are One”.

I knew this to always have been the case, so was confused at first. Then I understood. Whatever process I had been going through previously had culminated in this….hatching.

“You are changed. You will see the world differently”.

I thought of the message I had received not long ago preparing me for some changes, especially to my perception and thoughts. I had noticed them – the dream-like feeling, the feeling of being naked, the random thoughts and strange fears rising up out of nowhere. Then I thought I needed to consider how it felt to be “newly born”. What was it like?

Everything is new and the senses are bombarded and feel raw initially. The bright light is blinding. The loud noises are unbearable. The cold is piercing. It takes time to adjust and to learn to walk on new feet.

Is this what would be happening to me? When?

“Tonight”.

I didn’t really believe the answer.

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Strange Exposed Feeling Brings a Message

I’ve been meaning to mention a strange feeling I’ve been getting for some time now, but for some reason I keep forgetting. Today, though, it reappeared and I vowed to mention it before I once again forgot.

The feeling is a curious one and I think it goes hand in hand with the feeling of “living a dream” that I’ve been also having. For this entire week when I go out in public I feel naked and exposed. I freak out because I swear I forgot to put on clothing. I have to actually look down at my body to make sure I’m not naked!

The feeling of it is identical to similar dream experiences I’ve had. One minute I am fine and going about my day when suddenly I notice someone looking at me strangely or some other aspect of my surroundings stands out to me. Then, it is like time stands still and I suddenly feel naked. Right then and there I have to look down at my clothes or I focus on the feel of my clothes to make sure I am not naked.

It is so weird!!

Today, when it happened, it did not cause much concern – I am getting use to it. Yet later, when I was sitting in front of the T.V. the memory of it came back to me suddenly along with the notion that life IS a dream and this sudden exposed feeling is meant to remind me of that.

But why?

That is when the thought entered my mind both as a question and a statement – “I am resisting/Why are you resisting?”

I was thrown into present time instantly and a strange feeling accompanied it; the feeling of being in the presence of my Council. For some reason when communicating with them I feel like a little child who has done something wrong. I was overwhelmed with a sudden mild panic.

After a few deep breathes, I calmed down. “Resisting? Resisting what?”, I wondered to myself and to them at the same time.

I began to remember the times in my OBEs when I resisted. It always ended the same: me back in my body prematurely, having to start all over again. Only when I did not resist and followed where the experience led did my OBEs last and reveal whatever they were suppose to.

It appears I am being told to “go with the flow” and allow life to show me my path.

But it is so, so slow compared to an OBE.

And everything still feels really, really weird. It has been like this all week!

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De-Compartmentalize

It all started a few days ago. The clouds here in Texas were extraordinary, making the sky seem so vast and beautiful. I kept finding myself gazing up into as I was driving, willing myself to be in it instead of here on the ground. It was like this for four days straight and each time I could not take my eyes off the sky.

Then there came another phenomena along with this fixation of mine on the sky. I began to get ideas of being above the Earth and then placing a miniature version of myself into the globe. It was like I was a giant and shrunk a part of myself down and placed her in this environment. With this idea came the thought, “I put myself here to experience this” and I felt so tiny yet so big all at the same time.

That evening, I awoke knowing I had been working through the night. With this knowing came odd little tidbits of information that disappeared as soon as I tried to focus upon them. Later that day, I suddenly recalled with great knowingness what had been discussed. I knew without doubt that I had separated from myself, disconnecting from all memory of Who I Am, to be placed on Earth and have this experience. This was more than just a normal knowing, it was a sensation of Being. I recalled the feeling of the moment of this disconnect and had the knowing that I could undo it anytime I chose.

Yet again, yesterday, I found myself fixated on the clouds and recalled the idea of being shrunken and placed into Earth. As I rounded the corner and prepared to enter the highway to head home, I began suddenly aware of my thoughts, thoughts that had been going on without much notice by me. I had been thinking of my night’s work and discussions and knew that I was entering into a new phase as I merged onto the highway.

Almost as soon as I was on the highway I felt my right arm tingle as if a hand were placed upon it. Then, looking up at the clouds, I began to notice a dream-like quality to my experience and my vision shifted. I was unconcerned as I drove, though, having full faith in my Team of guides.

It was then that an energy began to form on the left side of my head. It expanded and remained as I drove. Then my heart center began to buzz with energy. This is when the song, “Come Home” was playing and I began to get tears in my eyes. I felt suddenly very sad as if my time here was drawing to an end.

When I got into the garage I lingered in my car in the dark as the song played. I took off my sunglasses but kept reaching to remove them time and time again because my vision was dark and tunnel-like and I swear I felt the pressure of the glasses over my ears and against my temples. Things seemed very dream-like and I kept thinking of the visual I had of seeing myself put down into a tiny Earth. How surreal!

Compartmentalize and De-compartmentalize

Last night was yet another night of restless sleep. I awoke often and then struggled to return to sleep.

One of my early wakings was accompanied by one word in my mind: Compartmentalize. I wondered about it and knew it was related to the rewiring that was currently underway. I acknowledged it and then went back to sleep.

At one point when I awoke, my Companion was close and said, “We are in this together”. Imagine waking, not remembering your dreams and suddenly hearing this. What would you think? I got a bit concerned. Why would he say that to me unless things were about to get difficult?

I then thought of the word compartmentalize again and knew without knowing how that my Companion was referring to this process, but why? He said to me, “You are different. Do you feel it?”

I answered, “Yes, I do, but I am not sure how”.

Then he said to me, “We are in this together. Remember that. This is why we are here.”

I wondered what he meant and he replied, “Your thoughts will change. Your focus will shift. This process will be different”.

There came with these words a memory of the random thoughts that had been entering my mind lately. They come and I struggle to shut them down, when in that past it was easy. I knew this was an example of what he meant by this new “process”. I wondered if I would go crazy, but felt this was extreme and unlikely.

Considering all of it, I asked if it was like what occurred in May and he said, “No. We are integrating”.

I finally got out of bed after tossing and turning for another hour. As I woke up, I thought again of the word compartmentalize but knew I had it wrong. It was the opposite. I was de-compartmentalizing. We were taking down walls.

Here is more information on what compartmentalization is if you are interested.

What This Means

Honestly, I am unsure what exactly all this means but I feel I was being prepared for it over the last few nights. The energy has been intense and shifty – one minute calm and the next minute very turbulent. Thankfully my reactions have been bearable thus far. The panic that comes from the sudden onset of dizziness is controllable and does not last long. I have a fear of leaving my body at inopportune times and the dizzy spells trigger this fear. It really does feel like I am shifting OOB when I have these sudden shifts in perspective and am overwhelmed with dizziness. My vision threatens to blackout and I can feel myself leaving my body. Not fun when you are driving!! Who wouldn’t have a panic attack?

I suspect this is why my Companion told me, “We are in this together”. He wants me to remember this is the plan and to trust in the process. As I type this, though, I feel my heart rate increasing and my heart center is buzzing. I do not like the idea of not being in control of when I leave my body!

I am likely freaking out a bit and overreacting. Honestly, it is likely just simply that my thought processes will slowly be altered from their norm. This is much more acceptable. However, one must conclude that any change in brain activity has a direct effect on consciousness.

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Download via the Heart

Once again I sense an energy shift. It is subtle. I would not have noticed had I not focused on my heart center.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and my universe feels so large and expansive. There were messages streaming in and I felt so connected to the past, present and future all at once. It was – IS – all at once.

A friend had posted on FB a Bashar video. I am not sure why, but I listened to it. The minute Bashar began to speak, my third eye lit up and I had memories hit me all at once and suddenly yet at the same time it was as if they had always been and I had never forgotten. Here is the video in case you are curious (thanks Karin!).

The memories included recent events that I had never consciously acknowledged. Some came from dream conversations lost after a night of deep, wonderfully healing sleep. Others came from a deep, inner knowingness that I have always had but my conscious mind does not wish to confront for fear that they might be true.

I believe the Bashar video was there to confirm that my memories and my understanding of other me’s (inter-dimensionally) whom I have met and interacted with are in fact what I have considered them to be but would not allow myself to accept.

The me who came into my consciousness in May, the one who revealed my Starseed origins and introduce a level of bliss that I did not think existed, is in stasis somewhere and learning via incarnations, preparing via this incarnation and communication and connecting with the Earth me, now in this time. The explanation Bashar gave of how he communicated through the channel Darryl was so similar that I could not dismiss it.

Also, his description of himself – gray, bald, short – brought instantly a memory of an OBE in which I stared in the mirror and saw looking back at me an image of a similar being.

While all this information was registering and clicking into place, I felt the familiar downloading sensation that indicates a channel is opening. Yet the sensation was not in my head but…in my heart. And the more I let it flow, the more it surged up into my throat creating a feeling of a need to swallow and an emotional surge upward that caused me to want to cry with joy.

And although I have been sad these last few days, weeks even, for the loss of connection with this Higher aspect of me and the amazing bliss that it brings, I realize now that I have entered completely into a new stage of expansion. The resistance I had been feeling originating, of course, in the Ego, and preventing me from feeling the new experience and integrating it wholly.

The “I am done” knowingness scared me and made it seem that there was no more adventure to be had. But I see now that the adventure is here and that the connection is here in the living. It is not living like I was before. This is a new kind of living.

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Spiritual Training

As this day unfolds more and more of the conversation I had with my Companion last night comes back to me.

Spiritual Training

I am currently in a period of spiritual training, one in which I am re-developing spiritual abilities long lost or gone very rusty. The analogy was presented to me of that of weight training, probably because that is what I am doing for my physical body at this time. It was asked for me to consider how weight training works. I responded that you increase the weight for different muscle groups in order to strengthen the muscle. It takes months of repetitive motion, of lifting increasingly more and more weight, for the muscle to respond and grow in size. One also has to eat more and supplement with protein to make sure the muscle has the right nutrients needed to respond to training.

Similarly, we must train spiritual abilities that have long gone dormant for lack of use. We must be routine in this training and not slack off for to slack off and grow lazy in such training will quickly lead to the deterioration of ability. Like muscle, our ability must be strengthened over time and nourished from within.

Empathy: Friend or Foe?

I had a dream last night that related to this analogy.

I entered a room that I vaguely recognized. Laying on a table were two bugs of marijuana, as if to remind me of drug use and its effect on one’s spiritual ability.

Then a young girl dressed in orange and bound in handcuffs came out a side door. She was frazzled and nearly ran into me. I was carrying my littlest in my arms, but he was much younger, perhaps 4 months old. Her face touched him and she smiled. I instantly felt sympathy for her and began talking calmly with her.

“You like babies, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she replied.

I let her touch his chubby arm and briefly she seemed happy.

She began to look nervous and was looking around as if to find a way to escape. I looked at her closely. She had freckles and long, thin dark blonde hair. She was about 4 inches shorter than me.

She looked me in the face and said, “You know me, don’t you? Why don’t you give readings anymore?”

Not surprised, I answered, “I can still, but I don’t. You don’t need a reading. You already know”.

She didn’t seem convinced.

Then two men came out and began to transport her away. She resisted, trying to stay with me. I leaned forward and told her, “You’re an empath. You can tell what I am thinking, feeling. You feel the answers”.

They began to take her away and I called out to her, “Being an empath can help you! But be careful, it can also hurt you”.

Considerations

Only just now did I put the dream and the analogy together. They seem important, as if the spiritual training is needed in this area or else there will be consequences.

Empathy is telepathy here in the physical. Honestly, I think as we develop the gift further we will be fully telepathic. Unfortunately, at this time the gift is untrained and poorly utilized. The Ego misinterprets the signals and disbelief is rampant.

I was born empathic and I suffered greatly from it in my youth. I did not know my feelings from the feelings of my parents and during their divorce my life became a living hell. That was when I first started wanting to go Home. I use to say over and over, “I wish I was dead”.

I continued to feel others thoughts throughout school. I isolated myself to protect myself. This technique worked but I became bitter and angry. People’s words did not match the feelings they sent out. Everyone was lying!

As an adult I have grown use to this hypocrisy. I have learned, by chance, how to differentiate my feelings and thoughts from those around me. I am not perfect at it and there is much to be learned. Apparently I am being reminded that this spiritual “muscle” needs building.

The intense energy of the Shift is wreaking havoc all around. I had thought I was impervious to it, but I am thinking now that I am not. Not at all. The negative energy, the thoughts and emotions, they are bombarding me more than ever. A closed heart does nothing to stop the bombardment. It infiltrates even the most impenetrable defenses.

I believe this message was given to me so I would not be so hard on myself. There is a reason, an explanation, for all the crazy changes lately.

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Lucid Dream: My House

After a rollercoaster of a day caused my blood sugar fluctuations, I went to bed on a low asking for assistance from my Team.

Lucid Dream: My House

I began to gain lucidity while walking into a room in a house that I knew was mine. The room was mostly empty except for some bags on the floor near a closet that were partially unpacked. I saw some clothing on the floor and walked past it toward a dark haired man who was sitting on the floor in the closet.

I knew this man but was not 100% familiar with who he was. I sat down next to him, cross-legged, about two feet away. He was also sitting cross-legged as if meditating. Perhaps that is what we were doing?

During this time I had thoughts and knowingness about this man. I knew we didn’t talk much; our conversations were without words through a deep connection. Yet I felt distant from him and hesitant to interact with him, even without words. There was a memory of us being separated and using our deep connection to stay in touch.

I remember looking upon him fondly with recognition. My conscious mind tried to match his face to my memories. He appeared similar to an ex-boyfriend of mine and the feeling that came off of him was calm and reassuring, similar to how that ex use to make me feel when he hugged me.

Then I was watching this dark haired man from a distance as he interacted with a friend. I was at first jealous and suspected him of cheating on me, but then I saw that the woman he was interacting happily with was quite pregnant. She seemed near the end of her pregnancy, her huge stomach draped in a vibrant, dark blue maternity blouse.

Relieved, I continued to watch from a distance, gliding through empty rooms and cream-colored walls. There was a feeling that I had been away for a long time. The feeling was similar to when a loved one moves overseas to a distant land and has been gone for twenty or more years.

I entered a room, finally exposing myself, and stopped a woman and said, “Why are you in my house?” I don’t think it was the same pregnant woman but am not sure because as soon as I spoke to her she vanished.

Then I spotted the man in the closet, this time standing. When I saw him I immediately went to him and he outstretched his arms. I saw his face shift at this time, the jawline becoming more square and prominent. Did he look like Robin Williams?

He said to me very audibly, “You have’t been yourself lately”.

In that instant I felt ashamed. I said, “I know. I’m sorry”.

A flood of images came into my mind but most are lost to me now. All I can recall now is that I remember being hermit-like, shunning social situations with others and rejecting the emotional connection with family.

I fell into his arms and felt an amazing relief rush over me. The feeling was that I finally came Home and could relax because now I was safe and would always be cared for. I wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Conversation

The hug caused me to fully awaken and I immediately grieved for the loss of the feeling I had just had.

“I want to go back”, I told him.

I knew that the man was me, my Higher Self. I also knew the other characters were me as well, even the pregnant woman.

The image of Robin Williams came on strongly this time. It was his face I saw in the dream. Does this represent my current state? I thought again about the message I received the night before: Rewire-Retrial.

It was obvious that I had entered once again a state of emergency and so my Companion had initiated contact. This time I was resistant and angry, all the feelings rising to the surface.

We talked for about an hour as my Companion reassured me that this was not a real emergency, just a downward spiral that needed correcting, which was easily done. I did not feel this way, of course. I explained that I was tired of failing to stay centered; the rollercoaster was getting tiresome and every contact with him caused the homesickness to worsen and abandonment issues to arise. I didn’t understand why I would torture myself like this.

He repeated over and over that he had never left and asked if he could help me. I rejected his offer initially but toward the end of our discussion I finally gave in and accepted it.

He told me that I needed to let him take the reigns once again. I felt like a failure for ever taking them back. He reminded me of advice I had given to a student just the day before: “If at first your don’t succeed, try, try again”.

I asked him if the process would be like it was in May and he said, “Not this time”. I understood this to mean it would be more work on my part; it would not just be something that happened as easily as it did before.

When I awoke in the morning I felt him near and he asked me if I was ready and I responded that I was not sure. I am still not sure I can do it. It seems like too much work.

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Rewired

The 180 degree shift in perspective I experienced on the 1st was brief. It barely lasted 24 hours. The day after was difficult with me falling back into pessimism and doubt. It didn’t help that I stupidly drank some wine so I ended up with only 5 hours total sleep.

Events from Yesterday

It actually started the night before last when my husband got mad at me because I wanted to be alone and he didn’t. He saw this as me “rejecting” him and went into a “tantrum” of sorts. The last thing he said to me was that he thought maybe we should consider “other” options for our marriage. These kinds of phrases are becoming more and more his weapon against me and I should have known it was nothing other than hot air, but it bothered me nonetheless. This, along with the one glass of wine I drank kept me up until 1am.

The next morning I awoke grumpy and went to work without incident. The day went fine but I could not shake the unease caused by my husband’s words the night before. I spent the day thinking about my life and what I wanted to keep and what I didn’t want to keep. Sadly, I was ready to throw it all to the wind and this bothered me immensely. Where was my heart in all this? Non-existent it seemed. Note: Apparently Venus retrograde invites reflection upon relationships to determine if they should stay or go but to hold off on the decision until after it goes direct. Venus goes direct on the 8th but I do not plan to make any changes.

When I got home it was like chaos had hit with a vengeance. My mother-in-law watches my two youngest during the day. She had been instructed to not let them upstairs unattended, but apparently she forgot and I discovered a pair of my eyeglasses had been twisted backward. Thankfully they were the old pair but my new, $400 pair was missing. I went searching and found them safe and sound but covered in little fingerprints.

What was really crazy is that my MIL had done damage all on her own. She had gotten a spoon stuck in the garbage disposal and somehow flushed one of my baby’s shirts down the toilet!

My remedy to this awful mess at home was to lock myself in my bedroom and do 35 minutes of heart-centered yoga. Ahhh!

Rewired

I went to bed wanting the day to disappear and asking questions of my Companion about the purpose of all this and how to fix it all. He responded, but I don’t recall now what he said (this seems to be the pattern these days). I meditated myself to sleep and had more strange dreams.

In one dream I was depositing a $5,200 something check. In another I went to an airport and found a black and white cat in a bag on the elevator. Then I was discussing going on a trip to the Caribbean but I could not take my “boss” with me. At this point I suffered extreme sadness and loneliness as I was told that this trip was a solo trip.

When I awoke I felt somber and asked why I had been told, “We will bring you Home” only to have not have this happen. I was told that Home was within me and that I had misunderstood the message. This, of course, only made me more depressed. It was explained to me that I was being “rewired” but at the same time I heard “retrial”. I felt them to be one in the same.

Strange Memories Resurfacing and Evaporating

Finally, I have strange past-life memories resurfacing at odd times. Mostly, I do not remember them after I have them resurface. It is like they are rising up out of me like smoke, disappearing as they escape. Sometime I can regain the memory, but this is unusual.

One such memory of remembering returned to me while driving. I suddenly remembered waking up one night and remembering suddenly that I had once murdered my own child by drowning him. The memory was not as vivid as the extreme guilt that came with it and I thought to myself, “I should be punished”. With this thought came my Companion’s words, “Haven’t you been punished enough?” and I recalled the life before this one where my own father had drowned me when I was only a child. With this memory came the realization that I have been holding onto the belief that I deserve to be miserable for what I did and that I have been punishing myself ever since. With this belief came also the belief that I was not a good parent. I saw the Karmic cycle and at first thought the child I had drowned had drown me in a later life. I knew this was not the case as it was the actual emotional loss that was cycling, not the relationship. Karma is not revenge, it is a self-inflicted purging.

This all occurred in mere seconds. The words of my guide seemed to help evaporate the feelings that arose within me and I fell asleep quite quickly upon their erasure, the memory of it gone as quickly as it arrives. Yet, it returned to me the next day only to again be lost. I only remembered it yet again when I began to fall asleep that night.

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Supermoon Energy: Dreams and a Familiar

My sleep last night was fitful and less than restful. It could be the result of an intense 1.25 hour workout with a physical trainer yesterday afternoon or it could be that the energies of last night’s supermoon were to blame. Regardless, I was waking frequently and feeling wide awake despite my physical body’s extreme fatigue.

Dreams

I don’t recall my dreams in much detail and the one I do are strange and make little sense. In one my family bought a new house for $375,000. It was tall, wooden and built on stilts. Below it was a pond that stretched from one side to the other. The pond was probably the most vivid part of the dream. There were reeds along its banks and the water was dark as if it held many mysteries. I felt quite happy to see it and remember thinking, “I always wanted a house with a pond”.

There was another dream in which I was inside a place feeling as if I had just materialized there out of thin air. I felt disoriented at first as I took in my surroundings. There was a feeling of being at a gym, but it did not seem like one at all but more like a waiting area. I was introduced to a couple of women but one seemed like a man and I stared at her for a while trying to figure out if she was a man or a woman. I finally decided she was a man-woman.

Finally, I had another dream of water. In this one, it was raining quite hard and I was in a very nice house with tall glass windows that looked out upon a white patio that stretched for quite a distance. Three neighborhood boys knocked on the door asking to swim. They were holding books in their hands and I asked them if they had permission. They said yes, so I told them they could swim in the Jacuzzi. They went out in the rain to swim and later came back but had left their books. I went to retrieve them complaining of how they ruined them.

When I awoke I felt very disconcerted. It seemed something was very wrong and I felt the coyote I had seen the previous day was proof that I was being tricked. I thought the strange feeling that an energy shift was coming must have been a lie and coyote was there to laugh at me for believing it. I felt duped.

Visions and Messages

I managed to fall back into the in-between. While there, I often slipped into the dream state and then would come back to the in-between. I did this one and off for some time, the dreams often lost as soon as I became lucid.

In one of the in-between lucid moments I was shown a bedroom. It was very obviously a child’s bedroom; a little boy’s. When I saw it, I recognized it as mine and looked at how neat and tidy it was. I also noted that the items and furniture were very expensive and there was way more than any little boy could ever hope to have.

I remember as I recognized it as mine that I said, “That was 1966”. This brought me to full awareness as I tried to rationalize the year. When I awoke I did the math. The life-before-last I died in 1963. The life after that I was a boy and recalled dying in 1972 at around the age of 6 or 7. That would mean that if the room I saw from 1966 was mine, that it would have been mine when I was very, very young. I wondered briefly why I was being shown my old bedroom. Perhaps I was very rich in that life? I don’t remember.

I fell back into the in-between and was talking with someone during this time. I don’t now recall all of the conversation but as I began to awaken fully I heard someone tell me, “…..you have an honored familiar”. I instantly recognized the word familiar and wondered what it was was.

You Have a Familiar

Though I don’t remember everything that occurred during the in-between, I do remember that the conversation that started all the above came out of me telling my Higher Self that I did not want to stay in life and asking him why he insisted that I/we stay. He, of course, answered, “You have a lot of work to do”. I was/am tired of hearing this and asked, “Why does it matter what work I do? Is the human race so important? What difference does it make what I do while I am here?”

It is perhaps from this conversation that the messages came. Maybe I was given the message that I had a familiar so that I would know help is on its way. For what exactly, I am unsure. Whether I will meet this helper, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I believe in familiars.

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Something’s Up

Perhaps it is the solar flare activity again or maybe there is another influx of ascension energy (or maybe the two are one in the same?), but I can sense a shift about to take place.

It is hard to put my finger on the exact feeling, so it is hard to describe how it feels. What I will say about the feeling is that it is similar to being put on alert when there is an approaching storm; like a tornado warning. It is not all doom and gloom but more like there is a possibility that something will affect me and my immediate surroundings.

I am, of course, taking it all in stride. There is no immediate threat to me, if threat is even the right word. Like in a tornado warning, I am not concerned. We get them (tornado warnings) all the time in Texas and very rarely does it result in anything other than a thunderstorm. Similarly, I have been through many, many energetic shifts on this path of ascension and so I am use to nothing much happening.

Last night was when the shift in energy became most noticeable. I was watching T.V. and my attention was drawn away from the screen to my Higher Self and that was when the alert feeling occurred. Later, I did 55 minutes of Hatha Yoga and felt my head begin to buzz with energy. This was soon followed by my third eye. The energy then snaked down to my throat area and settled about where my thyroid is located. I became so relaxed during this meditation break that when the woman’s voice returned my entire body twitched because I had forgotten I was doing a video.

When I settled down to sleep I again felt the alert feeling and thought perhaps I would have one of my interesting and somewhat intense nightly excursions OOB. But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, I slept very deeply and had many dreams, one in which I met up with my ex-husband and then watched as streamers of light shot off into the starry sky over an ocean of blue dotted with tropical islands.

When I awoke the song A Rush of Blood to the Head was going through my head as was the song, Come Home. The latter was just the part of the song that says, “So, come home” and the former the part, “And they call as they beckon you on, They said, Start as you mean to go on”.

The feeling is still here today. It is something I just can’t quite put my finger on. So I stay on alert to whatever is coming.

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If This Were a Dream….

My schedule is filling up. I am working part-time, launching a new business and taking care of my kids on my days off. I am also back to the gym four days a week for an hour at a time. Additionally, my oldest has started back to school and all you parents well know that’s as much work for me as it is her. Finally, my husband and I are remodeling our master bath, the final room of the remodeling process.

This increase in “things to do” is generally not welcomed. I don’t like having to wake up early and it is hard for me to keep my thoughts on the present as I am always thinking ahead to what I need to do next. My stress levels typically rise as does my anxiety. In turn, my sleep patterns change and so I often lose the connection to my guides via my dreams that I so thoroughly enjoy. Yet, I am finding that I am responding differently to all the change.

Despite all the things I have to do and places I need to be, I am quite calm in comparison to how I have been in the past. It has come to my attention in the last couple of days that the reason for this is that I am receiving inner guidance throughout the day. This, actually, is not out of the norm, we all receive such guidance. Rarely do we notice it as it comes via quiet suggestive thoughts and mental image pictures that are easily ignored. Typically I would also not notice it and mostly ignore the messages I receive; however, for some reason I am listening and heeding these messages. Mostly I have been doing this habitually without really noticing but just yesterday I suddenly became aware of it.

If This Were a Dream….

Yesterday, as I was winding down in one of my brief periods of time to myself, I recognized all at once that my vision was peculiar. After noticing my vision change I then thought how similar it was to be OOB. In fact, I got a very strange OOB feeling right then and there that had me thinking I was dreaming. In this brief time of noticing the messages seemed to flow in all at once; the floodgates opened as they have been doing for some time now.

In this particular period of time the message was a simple question: “If this were a dream, what wold you do?”

But of course, it IS a dream, but that was not the point. The point was to get me to remember that this life is a dream and to think of myself as the orchestrator of the dream.

At the time my thoughts had been on all the things I had to do in the future. I had been slowly redirecting myself back to present time but it was becoming a tiring and repetitive process since my thoughts were all over the place. I had to make a decision about my new business, one that I had been holding off on because of the amount of money involved and the potential for failure. With the question posed by my guide, this decision became very unimportant.

In a dream I would not worry about what was coming next. Instead, I would eagerly anticipate the new. There was not consideration about the past or the future, there was just the experience. I was reminded right then and there that it was the present experience that was the most important. What was I creating in that moment? If it was not what I wanted, then I needed to stop creating and create what I want.

And that is when my thoughts shifted to what I wanted and how this new business would get it for me. Instead of worrying, “What if?”, I focused on all I will have. The picture was clear in my mind and my mood elevated substantially. Then I was done and back in the moment, all worry about the upcoming decision gone. I knew the next move because I know what I want.

My Focus is Shifting

The biggest change of all is that my focus has shifted. I do not focus so much on when my next OBE will be, or when my next K surge or Team communication will be. My thoughts more and more are centered on my daily life and creation of what I want in it.

A significant shift has occurred at work. Last year I spent quite a bit of time distracted by spiritual topics and research. I had no interest in my job and even resented it. This year when my mind wanders to the spiritual it is like a curtain comes down and blocks those thoughts, immediately directing me to my work. This is good, I know that, but it is especially good because with this shift in focus comes a surge in creativity. For example, I spent most of my free time at work researching lessons and planning out a 14 week social skills group. The best part is, I enjoyed every minute of it.

Clean it Up

A final note and I will end this post. I have been given a vision many times now of seeing a room strewn with toys or other clutter. With it comes a strong urge to clean it up along with an irritation of having to do so. At first I thought this was just me irritated about having to constantly clean up after my children. But this morning, the vision came as an answer to why I have been having so many breaks in the spiritual process I am going through.

The message was clear that I am cleaning up the messes, tidying house, sweeping away the debris. All this is necessary and repetitive, similar to real life. Healing is a continual process of renewal. Entropy is the word for it and it follows everything that exists in the physical, even us.

Do not get caught in complacency for it breeds decline and you won’t notice it until you have sunk well into chaos.